Correction: Park Seo Joon (Sentient Plank of Wood) is not a member of BTS. I heard he was from a video I watched during my research but did not double check. I apologize to BTS for suggesting they had anything to do with this movie. I will endeavor to learn from my mistake and do better research in future. The Despot always eats his Ls. Thanks for watching! (I stand by my statement that the role should have gone to Billy Corgan).

I’ll never watch The Marvels, but I’ll happily watch the Despot talk shite about it for an hour and a half, twice! 😂👌

There's a huge irony, they cast Park Seo-Jin, a Korean actor who doesn't sing or dance, in the role of a guy who sings and dances. If only Korea had a huge industry of professional singers and dancers with famous people to draw from....

It's actually kind of disturbing the amount of female characters that are displaying genocidal and/or sociopathic tendencies being portrayed as heroic recently.

Who would ever seriously think it would be a good idea to have all female writers for films whose fan base (comic book readers) is 95% male?

"You're being a white man." is my favourite compliment of 2023.

Over half a century, thousands of comic books with hundreds of great story lines and Disney comes up with pure dog sh*t.

There's a book out there called 'How to Write Science Fiction' put out by Writers Digest, and it talks about Rubber Science, which is the idea that any science fiction has to have forms of science that, though they are fiction, combining different elements of real studies of science or pseudo-sciences, combining them at will, they still need to have rules, and often these rules of the fictional science are what can shape the story and allow the writer the opportunity to explore the human condition with the conflicts that arise from the rules. What the Marvels are failing to do is make their fictional sciences have rules. No verisimilitude, no real conflict, just flashy CGI.

Sentient plank of wood is actually very charming and funny in Korean TV. I felt a brief flicker of interest when I heard he’d been cast, but it died when I realized I had no faith that current Marvel Studios would be able to write itself out of a paper bag, much less produce an interesting script for him

What Scrubs taught me was that when everybody around you is singing and dancing then that's either a brain aneurysym or psychosis.

My favorite part was Monica explaining her powers: "I can see light!" Congratulations, Monica. You can see light. That was the moment when I realized that literally NOBODY involved with this movie cared at all about what they were doing. Not the writers, not the so-called "Director", and certainly not the actors.

Damn you. Now I’m fixated on the idea of a Blade/Underworld crossover movie…

It's actually pretty hard to make a male villain compelling in a female led Marvel movie because males are not allowed to beat females in any way at any time.

Honestly, laughing at this movie is like fighting with a cripple: Yeah, you technically won, but it stopped being exciting 19 punches ago

Disney and Marvel's idea of "fighting" seems to involve a lot of unnecessary jumping and spinning to make it seem like something is happening. Acrobatics isn't fighting. I think someone needs to tell them that.

Even the Terminator was kinder and more human than Captain Marvel. What a great comparison, lmao.

Disney didn't learn any lessons from an all female Ghostbusters film.

Carol Danvers was in the military - risk of "not returning" comes with the job. It would seem really immature from adult Monica Rambo to hold that against Carol, especially as Monica is in similar line of work now and no doubt has seen a couple of colleagues "not returning".

I was hoping you’d cover this movie! I took my mom for her birthday because she’s just a content consumer, and even she hated this it. “Where are all the men?!” she exclaimed. She said at least the 1st Captain Marvel had Judd Law, heart throb. Unless you’re a lesbian (I’m guessing), women don’t want to just see an all female cast either.

There are so many criticisms of The Marvels in this essay, but no mention that Capt Marvel found a home world for the Skrulls and Fury should have been furious after the events of Secret Invasion. I have to wonder what was left on the cutting room floor.

On the topic of boss fights: As a DM, one of the most important aspects to a combat encounter is the scene. I may not tell my players directly, but when I tell them things, describe things to them, or if they as for any more information regarding the area, I fully expect them to use their heads and use the location to their advantage such as throwing a chair, flipping a table, burning the stairs, climbing the rafters… because I want them to feel like heroic, I want them to be engaged. This is such a basic thing I cannot believe that the final boss fight is so shallow, the environment itself is a character too. I love Jackie Chan movies for this very thing, he uses the whole scene to his advantage. How do you mess up a fight scene?

Correction: The actor portraying Prince Yan is Park Seo-Joon, who is not a member of BTS. Although he is a decent Korean actor known for his work in various Korean series, his performance in this particular role is truly lacking depth. Sometimes, there are actors who can only deliver performances effectively in their native tongue, and based on this movie, it appears that Park Seo-Joon might fall into that category.

The Prince, Park Seo Joon, he isn't a kpop star, he's an actor. I'm shocked they DIDN'T actually get a kpop star instead.

Nearly an hour in and you’re absolutely crushing it with this review! Here’s a couple notes to clarify some stuff tho: - From what I can recall, I’m pretty sure they explained Space Time Tears in WandaVision since Scarlet Witch essentially just made a giant alternate reality bubble within the whole town within a radius. If not, my B 🤷🏽‍♂️ - They would also probably know about those due to how they (Space Time anything) kind of appear all over the place in Phase 4 (DS:MOM, SM:NWH, SC&LotTR, WandaVision, etc.) and one could simply infer that the various Avengers/adjacent superheroes would know about them after all that Thanos business (Infinity Saga aka Phases 1-3) and more recent “events” (Phase IV). - Your point still stands though with how fast and loose they play everything since it’s prudent to establish something within the scripts/drafts to have it play a role later on or even just act as set dressing/lore/continuity. Just judging by how much happens so fast while these three would-be BFFs…Step-Mom Carol Danvers, Step-Daughter Monica Rambeau aka Photon aka THE ORIGINAL FEMALE Captain Marvel/2nd Ms. Marvel in the comics, and superpowers stalker & burgeoning mega carpet muncher Ms. Marvel aka Kamala H. Khan…you really and truly get the sense that not only did the screenwriters and the Director never really give a F__k about the project, but that Kevin Feige (either in his totalizing sense of Hubris from his MCU Mastermind being stolen valor from Ike Perlmutter…or his utter incompetence/incontinence being in full force after Perlmutter’s ouster from secretly steering the ship by Bob Iger) really and truly was NEVER responsible for the MCU’s success if he thought that THIS was the route to go down! I would’ve taken The Inhumans as a franchise (Ike Perlmutter’s original goal instead of Captain Marvel in the MCU) and Perlmutter’s outward bigotry over Kevin Feige’s Imposter Syndrome and fear of People of Color/LGBT People manifesting in DEI snoozefests.

Captain Marvel was overpowering God mode Thanos in End Game, but a girl boss with a grill gave Karen, I mean Carol, all she can handle. OK film. That'll due.

what is shocking to me is that not a single actor at any point said "guys, i won't do that. it is really bad"

At 38:30 Speaking of Blade not being in a hurry to leave, I knew someone who once fell into a vat of whiskey. Four men jumped in to save him but he fought them off and drowned instead.

10:55 - men use insults that are not genuine to socialise with each other, women use complements that are not genuine to socialise with each other.

Nia made the set of her film so enjoyable (toxic) that she wasn’t invited to the “Cast-Wrap” party. She was also UN-invited from the “Cast-Screening” and went to a different party instead of her film’s debut. What a joy she must be when a whole cast and crew of diverse people look at her as the person in charge and say, “Would you please get the fuck out? We are trying to enjoy ourselves…”

That blade section legitimately sounds like the perfect late 90s vampire movie that I would pay thousands of dollars to watch ONCE

45:26 Not only was Randy Quaid trying to protect his family when he took out the aliens, but he had a personal, dark and REAL reason: revenge. "Hello Boys, I'm BACK!" was SO thrilling in theaters because after all the abuse he went through at the hand of the Xenos. All the trauma of people not believing him back on Earth and claiming he was crazy. All of this came together in a moment of cathartic justice at the finale. His arc completed in the most brilliant way possible as he managed to somehow save the world -- _as a side mission._ Excellent reference, Despot.

“Vegeta, what does the scouter say about her pyre level?” “It’s over 9000!”

The thing that made Thanos a threat was the fact that he wasn't just a leader that sits back and lets his men do the work and gets beaten easily when he has to fight himself. He gets involved when he has to and when he does, shit gets done Thanos knew how to fight, he was a straight menace in a fight and you know that the first scene he's in He didn't have power, he had access to power, which made him an even bigger threat, especially when you know his plans with that power. In Infinity War, he was mostly just using the stones to fight, then in Endgame, he's using his own fighting talents to run hands with the Avengers In both films, he's extremely tough to take down That basically shows you that he's not just a tough bastard because he has powerful tools with him, he's able to fight by himself We aren't just told "he's really powerful, we can't win" they said he was strong, but seeing him actually fight Vs someone telling you about him is a completely different story Maybe not a perfectly written villain, but definitely a better one

They can keep spending 300 million per movie so I can keep enjoying reviews like this.

As a woman, I wholly approve of the Blade script y the Despot

It’s not that they don’t understand their own character; the writers don’t understand how normal humans actually function

Sad truth: Marvel movies have become so unremarkable at their best that I can only glean entertainment from Marvel movies at their worst...

the lack of chemistry between brie larson and teyonah parris was because they had on set beef because teyonah parris is upset that monica rambeau should have been the mcu captain marvel like she was in the comics

What bugs me about the "song as language" concept is that in musicals, the songs are non-diegetic. The characters aren't literally singing to each other or the audience (unless it's an actual performance in-universe), the songs are just representations of the feelings and motivations of the characters conveyed to the audience using music. Which happens to be one of the reasons why musicals don't work so well as live-action movies.

Park Seo-joon was never in BTS but he might actually be a sentient plank of wood 😂

I don't think the comparison with Disney's Aladdin is really fair when it comes to villains gaining the ultimate power seconds before defeat. If you play the fight in its entirety, Jafar had the upper hand the entire time until Aladdin tricked him into making the critical mistake that ended the fight. After all, we're talking about a resourceful and clever guy who spent several days talking to a genie who told him about the restrictions he has to abide by, facing a power-hungry maniac who only knows genies are powerful. Aladdin successfully exploited Jafar's flaw by reminding him of the genie being the source of his powers and capable of taking them all away, and Jafar didn't think for a second about the consequences of becoming a genie himself. It's a classic victory of cunning against raw power.

Disney: Dont you tell me to smile Audience: Okay The Marvels Bomb Disney: 😢

I love how Despot casually drops like 15 plots to movies that we'd actually fking pay to watch. 🤣

"So, naturally, they made the incorrect decision-" really just encapsulates every single post-Infinity War choice that Marvel has made.

Captain Marvel, so powerful she can reignite a planet's sun...gets knocked out multiple times by a woman with a staff and a bracelet. 😭

Nostalgia Critic brought up the comedy problem in his Mamma Mia review. If comedy is based on misery, Hollywood has proven its cowardice in that it REFUSES to be mean to women in its movies.

Just like how Secret Invasion introduced the MCU's version of Perfect Cell, The Marvels film has officially made Carol Danvers into the MCU's Vegeta. If the intense gravitational force and heat of the Sun can't even burn her armor off ( thanks, Marvel, for not even giving us a nude and flustered Carol), there is nothing in the MCU that could stop her, save for a Black Hole, and the most that would do is trap her for all eternity.

Sun temperatures are not a problem for a blonde woman, she will fly there at night. But seriously. Fun fact is hitting a Sun is not that easy. Anything starting from Earth has inherent speed about 30km/s perpentual to E-S axis. It's hard enough to leave Earth gravity which only requires 11km/s. It's actually easier to hit the Sun from Earth by taking the opposite direction, leaving the Sol system and sling back, then "shooting" something from Earth directly. But as for Sun gravity - 28g - that's nothing for cpt. Marvel. As even if she maintained this kind of acceleration it would take 1.2 days to travel from Earth to Sun alone. More if the intention was to not to hit the star at full speed about 3000km/s. But she wouldn't. Space navigation was not part of the set given her by a writing team. So she would probably head directly into the Sun, missing it for sure due to that initial perpentual speed vector.

Your Blade Pitch is FIRE

As a korean about Seo Jun's acting... i am totally agree... he was just used as tool of directors Eye Candy and also i dont listen to K-pop either...

12:37-13:00 I appreciate your positive remarks of Iman Vellani. When a film is overall terrible, it's easy to paint all aspects of it as terrible. I'm glad to see some credit given to an actress who genuinely did the best she could on such a sinking ship.

Rambeau looked so interesting in WandVision and i really wanted to learn more about her character and was curious how it'll continue, but The Marvels really never caught my attention.

I've just seen The Marvels but there is something that has been confusing me. In Secret Invasion, literally a few months ago, a faction of the Skrulls tried to ignite WW3 on Earth...so now in The Marvels, Valkyrie takes them all from the colony to New Asgard, but didn't the President of the US in the MCU sign a bill to treat Skrulls as a hostile threat? The US in the MCU knows about New Asgard, don't they? Surely they'd figure out the Skrulls are all there now and doesn't that mean the Skrulls are in even more danger? When does The Marvels take place? Is it before Secret Invasion or after?

Something interesting I noticed about women in combat is that we're often much, much better at being sneaky and quiet while getting the drop on opponents than we are at outright assaulting them. I noticed that when my friend and I were talking about operators in R6- we were discussing realism, and Caveira seemed to be the most realistic of the female ops. She's light and her specialty is being quiet so she can ambush attackers, knock them down with a silenced weapon, interrogate them to reveal their teammates' positions, and then kill them. She's scary as fuck to play against, especially if you're still new to the game. I offhandedly suggested that all female ops be a bit more like her, with lighter arms but being much faster and quieter than most of the males (and also having fewer of them since about half the roster is women), and that made all of my friends upset. They'd hate to have an entire team of Cavs because she's so frustrating to play against, even by herself. It would be unbalanced as all hell, but I think giving all of the female ops more potential to be sneaky could be very interesting. I wish that movies took that female aptitude for quiet, sneaky, and cunning in attacks more seriously. It's extremely satisfying to have a Mission Impossible style sneak session end with the quiet assassination of enemies, or to go wrong and force the perpetrator to find a creative escape route. Not every encounter needs to end with an all-out brawl. Power doesn't always come from physical strength. Having sequences that are quiet but thrilling keeps movies interesting, and it seems like fewer and fewer movies today have those quiet but intense scenes. They just want to have people, particularly women, beating the shit out of the baddies. It's boring. I'm really tired of everything being the exact same fight. That's why I don't really care for mainstream superhero movies anymore; I much prefer the thoughtful, tension-filled deconstructions of superheroes like The Boys (at least, the first season- haven't watched the second yet). There's plenty of fighting in that, but there's a balance with people sneaking around and avoiding getting into fights. There's also a demonstration of the power that women can have that doesn't involve physicality, and I find that much more interesting than having unrealistic fights where a 90 pound child can beat the shit out of a 6'4" roided out gym rat every single time they cross paths. My strength as a woman doesn't come from my ability to beat the shit out of people. It comes from my ability to navigate social situations, be cunning, and having a network, among other non-physical things. It's not bad to have the occasional badass woman that could realistically take on a man, maybe even a couple of them at the same time if she's skilled enough, but that has to be the exception instead of the rule. The vast, vast majority of real women can't do that. Making it seem like that's what we're supposed to do and we're weak, useless pieces of trash if we can't isn't empowering. It's degrading. Seems like no one in media got that memo, unfortunately.

A big problem with the way female superheroes are written is that they think just making them powerful is enough when that's not even close to being enough. Saitama and Superman for example are stupidly powerful, but the story uses that to turn their drama into a moral and emotional one. They explore what it feels like to have every fight end early with one punch, or what it means to be the strongest being alive and to be a symbol of hope for people Captain Marvel however uses none of that, and just goes "look, she powered up a sun, she's awesome right?", and think that is enough to make her as impactful as Superman

The insertions of "the steacks" is killing me 😂😂 Awesome review and critics, with a lot of good points that obviously remind me of the Drinker or the Reaper... 💪😎

I had no idea Dhar Mann was so evil.

Removing Carol from Endgame would let characters do some things they should have done in her place. Rocket should have been the one to rescue Tony and Nebula, Thor could have Bifrosted him to Nidavellir and he could take the pod from there. At most it should have been Rocket and Thor together. This would have given the movie time to show him learning that all his friends were dead. Thor could have taken out Thanos's ship, it would be a nice gesture after all the Fat Thor jokes. Instead CM just sort of showed up and did stuff.

To modern Hollywood, the concept of duty and sacrifice is completely foreign. None of them would lay down their lives for their own children, let alone anyone or anything else. This is why they can't write heroes. They should look at the movie Godzilla Minus One. The characters there know all about sacrifice and DUTY, while still dealing with the struggle of not wanting to sacrifice themselves.

Most unconvincing crazy eyes attempt with that Darban

"2023 will be remembered as the year the superhero movie died." 2023 might be remembered as the year Hollywood died, as even the majority of big-budget non-superhero movies were flops too.

*”The Marvels is the worst movie of 2023!”* Yeah…but only because there aren’t any more major Disney releases for the rest of the year that it could risk losing the title to (since Disney is their own biggest rival in the *“worst movies ever”* competition)… Disney just constantly keeps one-upping themselves with each new release (which is actually quite an impressive achievement)!! 🤣🤷‍♀️

I think I finally understand modern storytelling. It's all withdrawals and no deposits. Nothing goes into the bank, but the script takes out whatever it wants at any time.

"I can see light" 🤦‍♂️

"Because if there's one universal truth about women it's that they all get along" alright, I just died. of laughter, i'm dead. lololooloolool

1 hour and 22 minutes of this golden review is why I am thankful that Disney made this movie! Without the movie we wouldn't have this review! Thx Iger!

That goldeneye 64 reference hit close to home, she always ran in front of the AK

I like how they thought filling her stupid gap tooth full of silver would would make her look "intimidating"...🤣

To be fair, even Nicole Kidman couldn’t make Darben work

All credit to you for making long form videos that are so good they pull me in, in spite of having no interest in seeing the movie they are about.

I like how they have Monica say she can see light, when she should've said she can see raw energy and its flow. Ya know, like it was literally shown to us in Wandavision (I say energy instead of light because she could also see Agathas magic roots lining the walls to the cellar. So in short the powers are as following Captain Plank is an energy source, and can expel it at people (and apparently reignite a fucking sun) Ms. Marvel can harness energy into solid matter Monica Ramboring can see and absorb energy and then use it till she is drained This took me 5 minutes to understand better than a team of professional writers

THIS IS NOT WHAT TONY STARK DIED FOR- the people

Ohhh the villain arc. That’s one thing I particularly enjoyed from the latest Spiderverse movie. Spot started as this comical little criminal that was totally unthreatening and did a 180 as the movie progressed and he accumulated more power. Loved it.

Nick Fury being described as a passport bro made me choke on my cereal....brilliance....sheer brilliance.

Will smith and Jamie foxx are great actors. Who were music stars. Foxx was a comedian, turned music star, turned actor.

First time here... I love your work bud! My phone autoplayed to the next clip but I had to come back to like, subscribe and tell you that this is, in my opinion, probably the BEST freaking review of The Marvels, on KZfaq. Going to binge the rest of your videos now.

Are you telling me that the follow up to a billion dollar movie, produced during a phase of awesomeness from a company making bank did poorly?!? My heavens. *[ Sarcasm]*

I like it how the German "Dreck" has become the word of choice for describing new MCU material.

Still think the eternals and thor love and thunder have been the worst and she hulk is the worst tv show so far in marvel.

You're pitch for Blade was amazing!

David Bowie was a singer who could act as well

holy shit, that part about being a hopeful, optimistic youth that gives his all and then becoming a depressed, cynical drone hit home. I can't even tell if I'm cynical or realistic anymore.

this video has a greater duration than the time spent editing marvel

The worst sin of “The Marvels”, aside from its sexist and misandrist marginalization and treatment of the only significant male character in the movie, is the cinematic crime of mediocrity. There is nothing to recommend this movie-a movie that was, in fact, unwanted by the huge established fan base, and for which there is virtually no alternative “new” fan base. We have had strong female leads in movies before. Strong female characters that producers were not afraid to put into movies with strong male characters, and who held their own with those strong male characters. Strong female characters well accepted by what is, to face blunt reality, the overwhelmingly male fan base of movies in the science fiction, science fantasy, horror, and superhero movie genres. The best that can be said for this movie is that it is “meh”, with a “meh” story that seems to lose focus and coherence all too frequently, “meh” character development, the “meh” emotional and intellectual breadth of a fast food restaurant plastic spork, and a”meh” threat that literally nobody cares about but the characters in the movie-and even they only care because the “meh” script dictates that they do. This movie fails to achieve the necessary goal of suspension of disbelief, and achieves instead the unforgivable goal of suspension of disbelief and, ultimately, suspension of consciousness, as whatever portion of the audience remaining within viewing proximity dozer off. An entirely forgettable film. I recommend that it be re-released under the new title of “The Mehs”. Rated “Meh”. Not recommended for audiences under the age of dead and gone for at least ten years.

Iman Vellani looks like she's having an absolute blast. It's unfortunate that she's in such a bad movie; I hope she gets other roles that allow her to really show off her excitement and acting ability to the fullest extent before she turns into a jaded actress who's just there for the money. It really shows when actors don't care about the roles they're playing- Iman deserves to have a shot at being the best actress she can be while she still has the drive. Props to her for her performance.

Interestingly enough, I watched the Marvels and Blue beetle on the same day (I was feeling particularly masochistic that day) and was given two distinct flavors of bad. The Marvels was much more incompetently made, but I didn’t feel anything beyond mild bemusement while watching it. I also (conveniently) missed the portion involving sentient plank of wood, because I decided to take a bathroom break just before they got to the singing planet. Blue beetle on the other hand had some high points I enjoyed, but it also annoyed me a lot more. It definitely felt like the kind of movie I’d seen a million times before, so I was waiting impatiently for the characters to catch up and stop going through the same superhero tropes every other movie had done (they never 👎 )

you know the whole "carol shouldve confiscated the bangle" idea couldve been a good way to establish the switcheroo mechanic (by the bangle reacting and using the energy of those that touch it/enhancing it/draining it, which would also nerf carol and make her need the others) and also it could go into how kamala can use the powers without the bangle if they showed the bangle reacting like thors hammers with a bit of sentience and explaining that kamalas continued exposure of the bangle have turned her into a human battery (and maybe they couldve also put in another angle where, when shes separated from the bangle, that starts to make her unstable and could lead to her weakening/death) honestly thats only one idea that just popped into my head, how are the writers this bad?

The "No offense 74 year old Samuel Jackson" killed me.

Been looking forward to this for awhile now. Glad to finally see it! Strange that I enjoy watching a deep dive on a film and not watching the absolute tripe film itself. Keep up the great work Despot.

10:48 The Marvels watching Boogie Nights would've been interesting. Now I want to go watch Boogie Nights again.

Capt Marvel is way too powerful. She can charge up a Sun? What? That means she can destroy most villains easily. Heroes need to be vulnerable to make their stories exciting. These ppl don't get it.

By far the worst MCU villain I can think of! She’s just so meh… And the actress playing her isn’t much better

I woke up at 430 am pst this morning so I could get geared up and go ride my motorcycle in 28 f (2 c) JUST to listen to this. My motorcycle is the one place I can listen to something without a daughter, wife, dog or cat cannot interrupt me. This is the most underrated channel I have found recently! Keep up the hilarious, sardonic and insightful work Despot!

I laugh out loud every time Nixon pops up to says "that means it is not illegal" Excellent work! Thank you for suffering through this movie to make us laugh.

Oh shit! I didn’t know he could just invoke “Despotic Infallibility” like that. I’m both in shock and in awe

I really need to know more about these "super-pyres" you keep talking about. It sounds like everyone has a super-pyre they use, but I didn't see anyone get lit on fire during the entire review.

4 unlikable or unknown women as stars and a feminist as a director. what could go wrong?

The "wide eyed, teeth bared" villain part is particularly unfortunate for this actress because of that gap in her front teeth. I can't take her seriously when she's trying to be menacing, and flashes those chompers. Edited for typos.

I suddenly feel better about any mistake I've ever made. 😯

They even made a fully clothed version of mystique's comic outfit in the post credit scene, I'm so dead. The MCU finally introducing the x men should've broken the Internet but they wanted to be woke lol smh.