Gathered up ALL the comment recommendations 😏 Happy traumatizing yourselves! A Child Called It Sybil The Girl in the Box Slapstick Slaughterhouse Five Pretty Girls Notice No Longer Human When Rabbit Howls We Need to Talk About Kevin The Servant of Bones Blood Meridian 1984 The King in Yellow Mummy Knew Crime and Punishment The Wych Elm The Road Lolita American Psycho Gemma Ghost Girl The Second Suspect Handmaid's Tale Sharp Objects Flowers in the Attic Jude the Obscure Push Go Ask Alice Cry to Heaven The Collector- John Fowles The Vegetarian- Han Kang The Bird Man- Mo Hayder Everything Eventual The Man in the Black Suit By Reason of Insanity- Shanestephens House Rules The Broken Cord Cesspit Alley- Timothy Johnston Annke Lucas's Memoir A Little Life- Hanya The Hot Zone The Kindly Ones Perfume- Patrick Suskind Wasp Factory Mysterious Skin- Scott Heim The Deloriad Please Daddy No Helter Skelter Alive Living Dead Girl Shadow Man-cody Mcfadyen The Dark Chamber Into the Void Tender is the Flesh The Crow Girl (1st in Trilogy) Whipping Boy- Gabrielle Lord Glamorama- Bret Easton Ellis Story of the Eye - Georges Batailles Shella- Andrew Vachss Zombie Sade The End of Alice The Maimed The Blind Owl My Absolute Darling-gabriel Tallent The Stranger-albert Camus Geralds Game Raptor-gary Jennings Aztec-gary Jennings Blue Horizon-wilbur Smith Hard Candy (About Nj Boys School) Call Me Tuesday - Leigh Byrne Funeral Rites- Jean Genet Flying to Nowhere Elementals-michele Madow Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke- Eric Larocca A Fine Balance Frisk-dennis Cooper Peace- Gene Wolfe Blindness The Girl Next Door The Devil Takes You Home-gabino Iglesias The Killing Lessons The End of Alice Survivor - Jf Gonzalez Family Skeleton Pet Sematary Damaged- Cathy Glass Nocturne- Ed Mcbain The Painted Bird Gone to See the River Man Oliver Twist Mr Shivers- Robert Jackson Bennett Ashes Ashes We All Fall Down A Piece of Cake-cupcake Brown The Light on Pigeon Hill House of Leaves Ordinary Men-christopher Browning Blindsight - Peter Watts Echopraxia - Peter Watts The Girl in the Vatican Hogg- Samuel R Delany The Piano Player- Elfriede Jelinek

It would be funny if the whole video consisted of this guy picking up 100 books one at a time and saying " Yep, Notice was more disturbing than that ".

As a survivor of 19 years of abuse (began at age 3) by my adopted parents I will never read this. My perpetrator committed suicide, not me. God saved me. No human helped except my therapist. I found one I could talk to. I am 71.

“The most identifying trait of humanity is our ability to be inhumane to one another.” Dean R. Koontz.

Heather Lewis: I was her assistant the last several months before she passed. tragic. beautiful. More heartbreaking than you could ever imagine. Her real story was disturbing.

A Child Called It series was some of the most disturbing books I read. The fact that the author of it (who is the child in the book) was able to overcome his abuse and live a fulfilling successful life was amazing to me. I’ll have to check Notice out.

I was a social worker for 24+ years, so I feel no need for stories regarding abuse of any kind. Those horrible realities are already engraved in my soul. However, your review was very well done and I will subscribe for more. Thanks.

In my 20's I read 'The girl in the Box' by Colleen Stan. It was a true story that was later made into a movie. I suppose it was my first glimpse into the inhumane way humans are capable of treating each other. It definitely put me off reading other horror books. Also, I never hitch hiked again ever. 😳

This comment section is gold, Ive taken so many screen shots! Thank you to everyone that suggested the most disturbing book they have ever read. Appreciate it.

I was deeply, deeply troubled by this book and still am after having read it long ago. There were points that were so graphic in the descriptions of the abuse that I wanted to crawl out of my skin when imagining what those things could feel like. All that said, I am extraordinarily grateful to Heather for her writing and the ways that her books have helped me overcome my own challenges. This is not something that everyone could write. Very few people, in fact, could write it and put it out into the public sphere. To do so was to allow herself to be subjected to mockery, shame, stigma and ostracization for being able to describe such severe experiences. You can’t write experiences like that without knowing and having lived some of it. Heather Lewis will always haunt me. And I sincerely hope she rests well after her tragic end.

I watch enough crime documentaries to know I couldn't read any of these books. I'd get sick to my stomach reading the details. It's sad and infuriating that these things do happen in real life.

I haven't watched your channel before but I loved this review. Don't read many disturbing books myself as a c-PTSD sufferer but I love to hear about the stories through others. Thanks for providing a safe way to vicariously engage!

Thanks for sharing this. The story of Heather Lewis’s life reminds me of Osamu Dazai. His novel “No Longer Human” was also published posthumously under similar circumstances. It’s frightening how much power some books draw from the harrowing experiences of their authors. Consume responsibly, everyone.

I believe Ms Heather Lewis already committed suicide. I did a bit of research on her, and seemingly all of her other works (apart from Notice) are indeed pretty disturbing. Lewis had faced a lot of intense struggles/challenges in her personal life, much like most of the other characters in her other works. Abuse in general is and will never be easy to talk about. People who are survivors (or victims) of abuse, neglect, and so on, still feel a bit of reluctance when sharing their own testimonies. Typically people who are close to them are the abuse perpetrators, which in turn makes it understandable why they would feel that reluctance. Anyway, your review of the book is incredibly impressive. No matter how explicit Notice is, it doesn’t stray too far off from reality. Prostitution comes with pretty huge risks, that’s for certain. Somehow, prostitutes or sex workers should be granted more protection and security in the type of work that they do. They’re humans, after all. They have feelings and emotions. They’re not meant to be objects to be played around with.

The most disturbing book I've ever read was Mummy Knew, by Lisa James.. I cry all the way through. Its about Lisa's stepfather who abuse her and her mother Knew and did nothing.

Haven't read this one, don't know if I want to, but probably will. For me "Sybil" will always be for me the most disturbing read. Followed closely by "When Rabbit Howls" Child abuse in any form leaves pain and damage that sometimes can't be healed. I believe these souls come here and live these horrible existences to bring to us, as a collective, the knowledge that these things are very real, and need to be addressed. Humans are not here to suffer, nor to allow those around us to suffer. If you see signs of abuse, report it. Step in. Save a beautiful soul.

The news today is so disturbing that I don't think I want any extra Horror in my life. But I found your review to be excellent

A Child Called It was a book I picked up and read when I was very young (as in, single digits, 8-9yo) because I wanted to understand what real abuse looked like. I knew what cruelty looked like in the form of movies, novels, and fiction in general, but I knew that was fiction and depiction of violence is highly controlled and performed, so I didn't really know if it was a good point of reference. At the time, I was situation where I didn't know if I could recognize it in my own life also, so the fact it was written as a first-hand account of a man who wrote about his own experiences was the draw for me as a child who wanted to learn. I still remember a good amount of it, but I think there was only one or two parts that still sit with me as really upsetting, but what I digested at the time was "hm... my life isn't As Bad as this but a lot of this still feels really normal to me?" I moved on from it like any other story I read and it was only through the years after when I saw everyone around me who talked about that book as so upsetting they couldn't finish it or how horrific it is that I ended up connecting, no, in fact, that account wasn't really that normal. It was bad, actually. And I didn't recognize it because it was, in many cases, my own normal, even if it was less severe by comparison. I don't know if I can say A Child Called It is the most disturbing book to ever exist, but it is the most disturbing book for me personally from how much it revealed about my own life. As I grew older it revealed to me just how much the full scope of cruelty is invisible when you're the receiver of it, but obvious when you're on the outside looking in. It felt disturbing to me how much the story DIDN'T effect me, but by extension it did help me overcome my own abusive environment as soon as I was old enough to have agency to leave it. It taught me of the willingness of a victim to rationalize and tolerate abuse from someone who supposedly loves you just to psychologically cope gave me the strength to keep my eyes firmly on reality and the actions that actually happened, and not get distracted by what I felt about who acted them. I'm grateful for it, I think it would've been harder for me otherwise.

The business of writing such horrific actions may have been too much for Ms. Lewis and triggered her suicide. Other people's cruelty, at this level, would be too much for most of us I feel. Bless her and she is suffering no more. RIP

We Need to Talk about Kevin is one of my all time favourite novels. It's so brilliant, and yes, disturbing. I will have to keep an eye out for Notice. It's super interesting that she wrote the same story twice from 2 different perspectives, and that she committed suicide before Notice was published. I have to wonder if the story she wrote was something she'd lived and was trying unsuccessfully to work through.

I had a low IQ client who told me about some horrific things that happened to her, and as she spoke, I felt as if I were right there. It still bothers me Three years later after retiring as a counselor. One story she related to me is how she was walking home from school and was gang raped. The boys warned her that they would do this to her mom, if she told anyone. When she got home late, her dad asked where she’d been and she wouldn’t say. So, after being gang raped, she was beaten by her dad. Just one of the situations she endured. Abused children are typically targeted by other abusers.

*Sees title* *Drops into your channel from the sky on a parachute* Hello.

I haven't watched the full video yet, but the way you talk about books is so relaxing and nice 🥰

This is a wonderful channel! I can’t wait to hear your back catalog. Thank you for sharing!

Just stumbled upon your channel, and I'm glad I did. Thank u so much for sharing, I feel like I want to read all the disturbing books you mentioned. Subscribed!

I literally just discovered your channel and I can already tell I’m going to be a fan. I love crime, pulp, and horror stuff with a passion. Glad I discovered ya!

Stumbled across your channel a few days ago Olly. Brilliant content!! 👍🏻👏🏻

It's great when the algorithm actually does its job! Glad to have found you. Looking forward to watching more of your reviews and adding to my reading list.

Just found your channel! So happy you were suggested to me!! Definitely a new fan here.

I'm already a bit depressed and disgusted with humans cruelty towards one another so I don't dare read it. Not at this time anyway .. until I'm feeling a bit more optimistic.

Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment is still the most disturbing book I have ever read and I'm now 75yrs old . Reading has always been a passion of mine since I was a child .

Just discovered your channel but I love your takes on books I’ve read and now I’ve added a few to read based on your recommendations. Thanks for your amazing channel, please keep it up!

Thank you for creating a captivating thumbnail. Now I wanna read all of Lewis’ work ❤

Yikes! Thanks for sharing - I am having struggles getting through a murder rape detective story right now so this is definitely over my limit but appreciate hearing about these types of books.

Your video titles and thumbnails get me EVERY TIME 😆

I truly admire your channel. Keep doing the best work. Big hug from Brazil.👏👏👏

Flowers in the Attic was definitely a harrowing read. That you mention Notice being written in a stream of consciousness-esque manner intrigues me, as I find myself wondering more frequently these days which reality is a darker one; one where the person suffering does not even realize they're suffering, or one where the person is fully self aware of how much better life could be.

This is on my list to read, as are others you've mentioned. Also have subscribed. I'm quite happy to have found you, not many KZfaqrs giving honest, straightforward narratives on such material. Thank you!

Story time: Today I went into my local library and asked about this book. The librarian searched high and low but said that not only was it not at our local, it also couldn’t be ordered from their catalogue. He then did a search on multiple websites including Amazon, and said it was unavailable everywhere. I was with my friend at the time, and she asked me why I was so desperate to read this book. “Well, there’s this KZfaqr called CriminOlly” (and in my head, I literally did the whole “crime, pulp, horror, that sort of thing”) “and he said it was the most messed up, disturbing, horrific book he’d ever read!” My friend, the librarian, the library assistant and a woman with a baby all stared at me like “😳” 🤣 The librarian was really shocked about how obscure the book is… how did you get your hands on it? 🙈 Maybe it’s fate? Maybe it would ruin me mentally. 😅

you have no idea how grateful i am that i just found your channel. i’ve never been a fan of reading until picking up the Handmaids Tale and now i’m obsessed with reading. i need all the suggestions i can get!

When Rabbit Howls is the most disturbing book I've ever read. Because of that book, I tend to avoid books based on true tales of abuse 😣

Drawn to this video as I was curious about the title.....I have read most of the books you list that weren't as disturbing as Notice, I'm actually shocked that I missed this one! Superb review, I will definitely be checking this book out as I love horror oriented books.

The “complete absence of any barrier” is a creative choice. Maybe Ms. Lewis was unable to sugar coat any of what sounds like her real life experience. As a writer who suffers the fallout of a bad childhood, I can relate. What’s most troubling to me is the recognition that often the ability to portray pain, fear, shame, etc. in ways that leave deep, lasting understanding is usually NOT to depict events as raw, unfiltered, and graphic but to use metaphor. Leaving something to the imagination is a much more powerful and meaningful technique. Unfortunately, as I said, when you’re damaged, all you want is for someone to understand and to validate your feelings. Society, however, fails miserably at that most vital of responses. We are far too quick to compare and to cite outcomes of others with similar experiences as evidence of our own failure or that of our friends and family members who may be struggling. This video was disturbing enough for me. I’m immediately immersed in the old, familiar feeling of helplessness coupled with the empathy of someone who has teetered on the brink, as it were. I’m sorry Ms. Lewis did not get the help she needed and that the pain eventually won.

How many of the heartfelt innocent victims, can still not face their ordeals BRAVO to the book 👏 🙌 🙄 😑

Omg that’s tragic, she was probably portraying what happened to her in those books 📖 and then she did that to herself. I think she was asking for help 😢 so sad.

You guys who read these “disturbing books” are braver than I.

It's so nice to hear "the book is more than could be conveyed with a few read passagea" I took some liberty with that "quote" but the just is there. I see a lot of youtubers use the level of disturbing things in a book to judge if it's good or not more often than not the most disturbing being the best even if it's a known dud of a book. I've never felt like that with any of your disturbing book reviews. You're very sincere in your video it eminates from ya..the sincerity I mean aha. Tha KS for all the hard work you put into these videos for us.

You have a very soothing voice. Makes me want to read this book!

Excellent video. I don't think I can handle Notice. I just finished Tana Frenchs The Wych Elm and felt traumatized by it and that wasn't graphic in any way. I did read The Road and Lolita. Also American Psycho, but I was much younger. Now I'm too mentally fragile for such human horrors. Reality is much too horrible these days.

Full text review and book details on my website - criminolly.com/2022/09/29/notice-by-heather-lewis-bookreview/

First time here, very glad to find your channel. I love reading and your discussion was quite interesting.

The most disturbing book I've ever read was Gemma by Meg Tilly. I listened to the audiobook, which she excellently narrates (being an actress does help). It was made more disturbing knowing about her horrific real life background as a child victim of SA. It's basically taking the plot of Lolita and making it what it would *really* be like and it's told in narrative from the child's pov and the abductor's pov, alternately. She doesn't pull a single punch, it's horrible and heartbreaking and as I said, worse because Meg wrote this from her own experiences. It makes those "famously disturbing" books seem like a romp through a flower garden. I will never forget it, or her voice and don't even know if I can "recommend" it, unless you are interested. I always loved her as an actress and it was only because I read an article about her and her becoming an writer that made me read it. I knew what I was getting into, but man....

Oh my gosh! Look at your book collection! I love to read 📚 wish I had room to collect them!!! 📚

I am intrigued. Thanks for the review/recommendation.

Thank you for the book recommendations!

I always think about the Amish point of viee in the movie 'Witness' . They didn't want their community/children to witness the evil doings in the world with the mind that you could not see it without taking it in and affecting you. The tale you tell is a spell as well.

I remember reading Bret Easton Ellis books as a teenager and I’m sure if my parents had any clue what I was reading at that age they would definitely not have allowed it. I found them all disturbing in their own ways. I’d like to research the author a bit more before deciding to read her books. I’m a survivor of SA as both a child and adult, amongst other types of severe trauma. This channel is engaging and you definitely have a new subscriber. Thank you!

Man, you just inspired me so much!! Thank you!

I’m so excited to have found this channel!

i just found your channel and you do such great reviews. i JUST heard about this book on reddit a couple days ago and then saw this in my recommendations. this book sounds waaaay too much for me to read myself but i enjoyed the video! thanks for taking the time to make these videos for us! 💖

I don't ever set out to read disturbing books but I have read some. When Rabbit Howls by Trudy Chase is about a normal housewife with patches of memory loss who discovers that the gaps in her memory are due to multiple personalities taking over her fractured mind. She looks into why her personality split in the first place -no prizes for guessing. It was one of those books that left a mark. This is my first time watching your channel and I'll be back for more.

I'm about to lock my copy up, I had someone reach out on Instagram asking to buy mine lol. Awesome video and I'm glad this book and author are getting more awareness!

Excellent review my dude. I respect your treatment of the subject matter in regards to letting the entirety of the book speak for itself as opposed to highlighting certain ‘rough’ portions of it. With books, you conjure images from the writing, as opposed to witnessing them like you would in a movie. That makes the medium all the more troubling for me.

I stumbled upon your video. I haven't seen any of your reviews before. I thoroughly enjoyed your insight and thoroughness. It was very interesting. I'm not sure I will read any of the books you mentioned bc I don't want to trigger my own trauma. But I appreciate your work. Thank you

Only just discovered your channel but already a fan. Love the way you describe things

Thank you for your critique and for explaining that the author wrote two other books, then published "Notice" posthumously. You do an excellent job analyzing this. Thank you for not reading paragraphs from the book, but sharing your impressions of the book instead. You do an incredibly great job reviewing this book. Thank you!

Thanks for giving a review 🙏🏾

Whatever Mother Says is one of the most disturbing books I have ever read. It's the true story about a woman who killed her child and ex-husband written through the eyes of a surviving daughter.

I’m so glad to see Heather Lewis get some love!! I wish her stuff would get back into print

I think it's important to understand Heather Lewis' background when it comes to her work. It's pretty autobiographical. You can find more information on various sites and sources. How she survived so long is very admirable - she has truly gone through a lot. She is probably my favorite author but I don't recommend her work to most people due to the graphic nature.

I was just thinking about finding some new disturbing books...and voila! here your channel popped up. Thanks for this suggestion..and some others.

The Collector by John Fowles was most disturbing book I read. I cried for many hours after reading it and was very traumatized after reading.

thank you for your recommendations, I'm very glad KZfaq recommended your channel to me. Glad to find someone with common interests in books.

I read House Rules when I was working with horses in Equine Assisted Psychotherapy as a therapist, and rehabbing and retraining abused horses. It was a lot to take. I would not actually recommend it unless you feel you have a particular reason to. As a psychotherapist, it was an eye-opening read.

Never heard about the author before. Thank you for introducing her.

Love your content. Great book recommendations!

Thank you for this video! I'm always fascinated by these books but don't have the stomach to actually read them, so I appreciate the summary.

Avid bibliophile here, just discovered your channel, subscribed. Let the reading begin!!

Interesting to hear your thoughts on this one. Raw is definitely the word to describe it.

The author, Heather Lewis, (may she have found peace, whatever she may be 🙏🤲) wrote about what she endured . I have come to this video because of the algorithm. She tried to fight her demons by writing about what she endured. Maybe it was her way to deal, or exorcise the aboniminable horrors she endured. So many tragic, and horrific things are going on in this world that we should try to fight, and help the vulnerable victims, which are mostly children, and trafiqued women. Bashing, and insulting the guy who reads the books, and showcases them won't help. Hiding your heads in the sand, neither. Knowing, even without reading these books if you find them disturbing, is maybe a step in the direction of awarness, and possible social involvment in the way of contributing to stop this horrendous behaviour.

This is a brilliant review. Well done!

The book is an examination of dissociation I read somewhere and that for me makes it so unique -you wouldn’t understand how someone could write this onslaught of increasing personal pain and abuse so dispassionately but you can understand it from a psyche that’s split to survive

I read Notice when Alex from the bookubus talked about it on her channel. It really really messed with me, but it was incredible!

Blood Meridian is one of the best books I've ever read and one of the most disturbing.

Anneke Lucas’s scarring memoir will be with me forever I imagine. A story so beyond your imagination of human cruelty and psychopathy but told in such an assured, poetic and wise voice it somehow makes the experience both riveting and comforting. She has a harrowing 4 part SRA testimonial on various YT channels (think it gets taken down because content is so graphic) which is like a novel. An easier to digest summary with no details is her TED talk on child sex slavery. Can’t recommend her enough as survivors from that level of trauma are rarely alive nevermind so wise, credible and eloquent.

This sounds incredible! Sad that it’s such a hard book to get a hold of. 😢

Now I must read this. Thank you for your review. Thoughtfully explained.

My mum's cousin Timothy Johnston wrote Cesspit Alley. Not one person in our family has been able to finish, admittedly I've never read it. I don't know what he's like now but I know when he wrote it he was suffering heavily from schitzerphrenia and believed women were out to get him.

Oh! I am pleased that I came across your channel! I've been an Ed McBain fan for years and have all of his books. The entire 87th precinct series. Nocturne is one that I recommend to people that ask about him. I cried when Mr McBain passed away. I think he was brilliant in that series. I was very interested in what you were saying about Notice. I shall look for it and give it a go. We Need to Talk About Kevin was also a brilliant read. Very, very well written. Shriver's prose in that book just impressed me incredibly. Thank you for this video and I am so very happy to have found you on KZfaq! New sub and can't wait for more! Love and Bless xo

Mysterious Skin by Scott Heim is one of the most disturbing, gut wrenching, yet life changing novels i’ve ever read.

Actually, as I watched more of this video, I think I AM going to read it. I thought when you first mentioned it, that it would be self indulgent horror. It actually , now , like true outcomes of knocking yourself around, living unconsciously with the way people project the inner shadows of themselves out in to other folks, then act out violence or sickness upon them. That’s really really important

The End of Alice was very disturbing, i highly recommend it. Also The Maimed and The Blind Owl.

This came in my feed today.. and this was confirmation to me- my plight to save my siblings..some people in my life..everyone thought I was being too extreme.. I would never read this book, but I’m all too aware. Knowledge of this book holds a key to redeem and restore bloodlines.. the way this woman started out- countless women, countless- could become same victims.

I just found you today. You have a new subscriber from Philadelphia.🍀

I take this video as a warning. Disturbing anything I don't need.

I read "The Road" just after we had our first son years ago, the complete bleakness and hopelessness of the story still haunts me to this day.

I’m so glad I found you. I’m gonna read the book!

Emma and me …. Different type of book than your describing….still very phycologicaly challenging and compelling….I loved it, I have read A LOT of books and it is probably my favourite-definitely one of. New subscriber.

One of the most disturbing and haunting books I’ve ever read is called Ghost girl. Based on a true story which makes it even more disturbing and sick. You can’t unread some things.

It seems as though Heather Lewis was attempting to tell the world what happened to her. However, still damaged as she was, it remained too much for her to bear.