Torture is illegal of course!...Now lets rip off one of them finger nails for science and not torture at all.

Story 1: Humans told everyone they are afraid to lose friends, ended up being best friends with everyone Story 2: the opposite of story 1, xenos acting stupid as usual so contradicting of how advance they think of themselves

"Return me now and i will not break things" is remarkably calm a reaction of Xiu. I know of more than a couple of Humans, who wouldnt have been so kind to warn them, before dismantling their ship

Humans = deathworlders, but with surprising compassion and friendliness and the ability to pack bond with practically anything. Show us a deadly critter and some damn fool human will make a pet of it. That was a HORRIBLE pun! Well done.

"All for the want of a horse shoe nail." Xiu is pronounced like "shoe" which makes the joke tie into the "For want of a nail, the shoe was lost" proverb. Clever but also dated enough that many won't get it.

The pun at the end of "The War Was Lost" got an audible groan from me...

"... friendliest, craziest monsters you'll ever meet" Yeah, that's us.

"man, you guys fight like hell. wanna hang?" yeah, sounds like humanity.

I really like The Newcomers. That is such a cool story. A while back I had an idea for a story that was kinda the opposite, where aliens were all friendly n careful around humans cuz they'd seen human media before making contact and wanted mankind to know "No, we won't shove any ovipositors down your throats to lay eggs in your chest." and stuff like that.

The pun of the last one was just as painful as the thought of the pain they threatened to inflict...

I think that might be one of the best outcomes to be honest. Finding another social apex predator that pack bonds.

It is truly heartwarming to see the lengths some people will go for the sake of a bad pun.

I’ve read that second story before and it still makes me groan by ending on a Dad Joke. If that crew is anything like the friends I grew up with somebody smacked the Navigator on the back of the head very soon after.

I don't know why, but I like this portrayal of space-faring Humans in sci-fi. Accepting and understanding of alien cultures, but utterly ruthless when threatened. We'll come in peace as long as you do.

I didn't listen to the entire video yet but everytime I do listen to your videos I get so caught up I forget to leave a comment saying thank you and thumbs up. So thank you and thumbs up on this entire series of humans are space orcas

Well...that was a long way to go for a bad pun...

really liked the both stories and the narration the second story really shattered my nerves a bit. when i was in first grade i got a couple splinters under a thumb nail and the teacher drove them deeper trying to get them out. mother had to take me to the ER to remove. prior to removal a nurse gave the doctor the wrong medicine to numb my finger [the injections hurt worse then the splinters] the doctor finally noticed and cussed her out. his immediate response was to inject more of the non-numbing fluid [never found out what it was] and rip my thumb nail off!

I liked the second story mainly because the human is named Xiu which reminds me of Xiu Chang from The Xiu Chang Saga and The Deathworlders. Stories in the same universe that got me into HFY stories.,

We live in a simulation. I am very much disturbed of the “forced removal of nails” since childhood, this story gave me the heebie jeebies

The shaggy dog story was epic.

story 2: all that for a pun setup, well played.

Okay. That pun. I'm not one to normally suggest torture. So I won't. But the author has forfeited their kidney privileges.

Story 1: It'd be interesting seeing any newer species get introduced to the galaxy at large. Galactic ambassador: "Welcome, welcome! How was your trip in? I hope the escort was cordial and professional?" New Xeno ambassador: "Oh, utterly. A bit... paranoid, perhaps. I mean, we were going through territories of species at peace with one another, were we not?" GA: "Oh yes, indeed. Just... Well, I suppose I should warn you now, much of our security is overseen by one species in particular: the humans." NXA: "Oh? I believe I've heard them mentioned as an important and widespread race, but I'm afraid I haven't had the time to really dig into the briefing much." GA: "Well, if you wish my advice, you should read it. Humans come from a particularly nasty deathworld, one where the biology went a little nuts; the entire biome is essentially one large arms race between nearly every species. Large-scale apex predators, hyper-aggressive herbivores, and some truly horrifying microbial life. Nearly everything there is trying to eat another thing, or eat the other thing's food, or just trying to outright kill competitors. As a result, the humans are... paranoid. And that's before the harsh confines of their planet's geography drove them into near-constant conflict with each other before reaching the stars." NXA: "...I... I am not sure I like the sound of that." GA: "Oh, please, don't take it the wrong way; they are a delightful people, now that they've had the technological advancement to satisfy their needs. Very friendly, and devoutly loyal. But they cannot escape their biology, and they are highly careful when it comes to people and things they wish to protect." NXA: "...So was the escort for us, or because of us?" GA: "Yes." NXA: "... I apologize, but is that a species tick or something common, to answer such?" GA: "It's a human thing, one we've adopted because it really does make dealing with them a bit more easy when you understand them. Don't worry, though; so long as you're peaceful-er, yes?" Aide: "I apologize for interrupting, sir, but the Human ambassador is in the front office and was insistant you ask The Question." NXA: "The Quesiton?" GA: "Well, might as well: do you know of any existential threats to your species, or to the galaxy at large, steming from either another sapient species, non-sapient lifeforms, astrophysical phenomenon or extra-planar entities?" NXA: "What? No! What kind of question is that?" GA & Aide: "A human one." Story 2: Captain Xiu: "...After the battle you are to report to the galley for 72 hours potato peeling. STRAIGHT." Chief O'Reilly: "Worth it."

So basically Galaxy War start because some xeno want one human girl nail🤭🤭🤭🤣 in return human comeback as Galaxy OverLord🤣🤣🤣🤣

THAT was SO, so bad, sort of like ....nails on a chalkboard?!?.... LoL

That was a horrendous Shaggy Dog story. My compliments

The 2nd story was told strictly for the pun and reference of Poor Richard's Almanac. That's commitment to the bit!

Ha ha … I enjoyed them both. Keep up the good work ASN.

Normally I hate puns, but that was pretty good.

The 2nd story is a great setup for that final pun! 🤣

We once (British) went to war because a guy called Jenkins lost an ear!

I loved the second "shaggy dog story"

For humanity

That was a terrible pun.

😆😅😅 That's a long way to go for a pun, Son!

( looks at the ceiling )

Thank you for the reading

I was not expecting the pun at the end, well done.

Oh, that was a LONG way to go for a pun.

Story two: I'm dying' here!😂

Hoarse xiu mail…Hahahahaha!!!!!

So, there *is* a species out there for whom our moon is made of cheese!

Every time you said Catar, I thought I’d the Ctarl-Ctarl…

That ending was just too puny. :P

Greetings Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Story 1: Yep, "decapitation strikes", or as I'd heard it, "cutting off the head of the chicken" Story 2: Well, good HFY story, but if they couldn't tell she was sentient from the get go, that doesn't say much for them

Story 1: "Let's be friends. Humans protect our friends." Story 2: Gah!😆

BEST DAD JOKE EVER!!!

"If you recognise in advance what we will do and peacefully argue against it we will not recognise you as sapient." What kind of backwards logic is that?

Good dad joke! Wow that was a great set up.

One of the shaggiest of shaggy dog stories. i like!

So the first story referenced Xenomorphs, the shapeshifters is too generic to narrow down but maybe the thing? And the Warhammer Warp, or Chaos. Any version of the warp really.

Testing pain limits is torture, though.

I kinda want a sequel to the 2nd story

Thanks for the story 🙂

If you don't get the joke at the end, look up "For want of a nail". It is a lyric of a poem, and not just a strange way of saying "horseshoe nail".

That was a test designed to fail people. If a species has a concept of pain and the ability to imagine it I would immediately classify them as sapient. There's also a lot simpler test with 100% accuracy, Show them a mirror or image of themselves. Sentiene will think it's another person, and sapience will make them recognise themselves. Just like when a pet sees their reflection.

HORSE SHOE NAIL,😆😂🤣

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Disembodied Voice!

"This next test is going to study conduction of pain along your nerves and how you brain deals with the signals." Please tell me what that information could be used for exept torture.

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

Oh I did like that last sentence 🙂

OK, that last line of story #2. I want to retract all my likes and comments! Oh wait, darn. Too late.

By the way, "Xiu" is not pronounced "zoo". It is pronounced like a cross between "Jew" and "Shoe". Thus the joke at the end "A Hoarse Xiu Nail" AKA "A Horse Shoe Nail".

Never attacked another sapient species? No one tell them about Neanderthals....

That pun at the end of story 2 was so, so bad.

2nd, 3 March 2023

2nd story: a waste of time for a bad pun. I should demand recompense for the time lost.

Second story...I wondered why Xiu's voice became ragged..This is serious PUNditry.

😂 war was lost for want of a horseshoe nail 😂😂

If there weaker then us how are they going to pull off one of our nails

8:44 you made a big mistake

200K

For the Algorithm11!

Its pronounced "Shuu"

F.T.A !

Shame on you for that pun at the end.

All that way for a buggering Dad Joke!?🤨🤨

How the hell is someone trying to rip a fingernail off a traumatic experience? Edit:so… got to the end of story 2 after making the comment and I immediately slammed my head into my desk because _all of that was for a fucking _*_pun_*

The second story... all that set up for a damned pun. 😒😒😒😒

😁

meh -