100% well summarized Mel💯

Same here...shuuuu! that line was it

Happens when the bar was on the ground 😭 i get it 🫶🙌

Can I also add that what you entertain once you attract them is a huge factor.

@@MT-hk9cp that goes back to my point of having boundaries. Sometimes we entertain men not knowing what their intentions are but our boundaries can protect us. So yes we are responsible for what we entertain but it’s not always evident who and what we’re entertaining at first.

@@sierradenise76 oh I definitely agree that we don't know what we are entertaining initially but once we find out so many people remain because they'd rather deal in dysfunction than be single. My grandma taught me that there is power is being alone and liking it because it shows that you can be with yourself and not be sad. Of course, if you crave companionship then be your best self and vet the candidates while keeping your standards and boundaries.

The 'bold enough to try you' men are the most annoying too! Like I often ask myself what gives them the confidence. I've been chatted up by a drunk man who literally peed himself in the bus station in the middle of the day and another drunk who started chatting about black women not usually being his type before proceeding to ask for my number. Both situations, I was embarrased because people heard these men chatting to me and I was internally pissed off because I couldn't just leave and go elsewhere.

@@princesstc987 And if you raised up and defended. yourself they would've called you angry #smh

RIGHT!? ❤

She been fine‼️😍❤️

But she been glo'd up tho.

She is a rare beauty 😍

That is what I’m saying

That part!!

Never lower your standards. Never settle. Too many women settle when they're young. But as women age and become more mature, they become *more* desirable to men. It's the women who know what they want, and refuse to settle for anything less that end up much happier in the end.

Omggg yesss!!

Facts

'desperate delusional daydreamer' what you said there sis👏🙌

Facts.

👏🏾

Yup. They think it’s a fucking joke.

it’s okay baby!Be glad that he showed his true colors!You deserve someone better and trust that you will find him!

I was seeing a guy for around that same time but he had different priorities. He just stopped talking to be but would like my insta stories on a daily and even WhatsApp statuses. I tried to talk to him to make it work but instead he asked why "I was having issues". I cut my loses and left

He's on games sis, red flag 🚩

I totally feel you. Had a guy who on his birthday made him feel like the most special person on earth. On mine he barely acknowledged me or made time for me. Best thing I ever did was block him couple weeks later without any explanation. Learn to never explain yourself when someone has harmed you. All this shit about "just communicate" is a lie, he didnt have to communicate to me that I treat him extra special on his birthday. I dont care if he "just didnt get it" or "didnt have bad intentions" when it was things that mattered to him (sex) he couldnt leave my side. Men know what they are doing, we all do, so explanations are meaningless.

Good for you. If a guy not into you it time to move on we have no time for time waster and it's gonna be okay give your time to a man who worthy of you time.

oh no ma’am!Good thing he snitched on himself

Did that, and now i got a friend that doesn't speak to me anymore, just because i told her what bothered me when we had a conversation 😹

Good on you for being able to leave an abusive situation. Leaving an abusive relationship is incredibly challenging. Usually takes on average around 8 attempts or so before you feel you're definitely not going back to that toxic situation. These cycles are extremely difficult to break. I know it from my own upbringing and personal situations.

That’s great girl happy for you

I'M SO HAPPY AND PROUD OF YOU!! I pray you continue to grow mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually so that you can find your equal and receive what you deserve. I'm so sorry and disgusted that he blamed you for that abuse you experienced. This is why i personally refrain from trauma bonding, and I wasn't dating until I was healed from said trauma. Because trauma bonding will have an energy vampire lach on you, drain you emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally then use said trauma against you in a heated argument. Apart from Breeny, I listen to 'Real Talk With Yanie' and upon watching her video the other day about the whole Jin & Juice situation, she said something that has stuck with me and i hope it'll do the same for you "If you master healing, you can master your life. Because you can try to go out here and start a new life or go to a different country and somehow still deal with the same stuff you saw growing up in your childhood. Or have the same effects of some of the things you traumatically dealt with in your childhood. Now you're in your adulthood sharing your trauma, or some type of trauma bond with this person you're in love with"

Dam that's fucked up sorry to hear god bless you

Don't tell men you were abused. A good man doesn't need to know. A bad man will use it against you.

But you have always had your Bible. Everything she is teaching is inside your Bible.

​@GrowthHive44 But not everyone is religious

Congratulations on choosing you. Your peace and children...!

So proud of you

i needed this and i’m so moved internally by your message🤍🤍🤍

Thank you, I pray the same for u too

Thank you love and I wish the best for you too!* 💕✨💕

Thank you.. I really needed to hear this. Wish you the same as well!

That trash analogy hit home.

!!!!!! 🙏🙌

She is I can’t wait bro hear this

Most men today don't put forth any effort to meet even the bare minimum of standards that women have. Most men are too unattractive, too short, don't make enough money, don't have a good enough education, aren't funny enough, aren't masculine enough etc. Truthfully, women ask for very little in a relationship, and probably 90% of men don't meet the bare minimum standards. Women should absolutely *never* lower their standards for a man that isn't worth their time. Women are the prize, and should be treated as such. That's why it's not important what women bring to the table. They're the woman, they're the prize, THATS WHAT WOMEN BRING. Just themselves, and that's all that they have to. It's better for a woman to be single, than lower herself to man that doesn't measure up. Stay strong, and eventually God will deliver the perfect man to every woman who withholds to earge to settle. And even if a woman has to remain single or unmarried for her whole life, then that's still far more preferable than settling for a man who doesn't deserve her.

Yes!!

@Sherise Roberts not at all

I went on a date with a guy I met in the US. He got upset with me because I wouldn’t give him a goodbye kiss, like I owed it to him, didn’t speak to me again, poor guy.

yes, but if it was an innocent hug? I mean it is ok to reject them ,but in general giving a hug is not a sexualized thing.. jmo

With respect if your trying to build a relationship with a man why would you reject a hug, if he was trying to get sex then I get it but if it’s just a hug then that’s shouldn’t be a problem, I would say this rejection breeds rejection and if you don’t care then a man shouldn’t care either, but also I think you should be mindful to give out love if you want love

@@amorepsyche808 access to my body isn’t an “innocent “ one. I only hug when I choose to

She always does!* 😊

Taught*

Thank you

@@angelathomas8680 of course 😌

Love you ❤️

@@BreenyLee You need a website, can I help you with one?

I understand that. I have the mindset where I'm always afraid to hurt people's feelings. But girl, I'm slowly learning how to be true to myself and stop putting myself on the back burner. I am being honest and if they get hurt, that's none of my business. You have to be deliberate and take a stand and change. Or else, you'll remain that way for years. All the best.

You sound very aware, Amy. Have you done JP's personality test? I totally get how tough it is to reject someone. You have a loving heart and you always try to get into another person's shoes and you don't want to treat someone in a way that may hurt them. But you're the most important person. Never forget that. And would you not someone tell you they don't want to be with you if they were not 100% hell yes about you?

@@IEVAKambarovaite yeah I have! Found it super interesting. Yeah, that's true. I guess this is the sort of issue that requires conscious effort and action to overcome. Plus, I always feel like I need a reason - a reason that makes sense to both of us (when in reality the reason only makes sense to me). Just need to keep at it and push through the discomfort of it 😬✊

just do it. You are wasting your time and his too. And some guys get mad when they think everything was going alright and then you cut them off. They'll say you're leading them on, you want attention, you're bored, blablabla. Do yourself a favour and call it quits "I'm sorry, I'm not interested; Sorry, we don't share the same values, I hope you find a nice person" Be compassionate by not wasting their time and politely refusing them, straight to the point.

Remember if you're not sticking to your own boundaries you are allowing your SELF to be hurt by this person and inflicting pain upon yourself

You should be looking for someone good enough, just doesn't sound right to me. Sounds the same like saying he or she has potential. Potential don't normally work

@@ToniaAlex13 I agree. There’s no such thing as good enough. That’s literally settling.

@@assitandiaby3027 👍🏽

I agree …good enough ..like our fore parents did …that means they have the character values and fundamentals to be a good partner …everything else is the seeker trying to satisfy their fetishes , fantasies and socially programmed preferences or even trying to impress / seek validation from others ( oh ..he must be six feet , Six figure income , certain complexion etc )

@@ToniaAlex13 Right. There is no "good enough." He is either perfect for you, or he's not. And if he's not, then don't waste your time. But look on the bright side, women become more desirable as they get older, wiser, more mature. It's the women who hold out for the perfect man for them that end up the happiest in life. God has a plan for everything. So refusing to settle just means that you'll be available when that perfect man comes along. And even if he never does, then being alone is still far better than settling for someone who doesn't meet your standards.

Your not a queen Get over your self 😄

Lovely to hear you’re out of those relationships now beautiful 🌸💜🌸 and hope you find someone worth your time 😊. I think it only sounds snooty if people confuse standards/boundaries with shallow/surface attributes. Like if someone’s standards are based around physical attributes, finances, prestige, where they holiday, what car they drive or other instagramable features lol then yeah rejecting someone based on not living up to a superficial expectation is pretty bad (lol we all have our attractions but I’m referring to ones that aren’t balanced lol)...but having standards/boundaries based on how we treat ourselves and others is far from b$#*y, if anything, you’re actually showing kindness and compassion by having clear standards of behaviour that bring out the best aspects of the person they are also trying to be. Entertaining and being ‘nice’ to people that are disrespectful or toxic, all because we’re having a lonely moment and want to be liked, brings out the worst in them for out temporary benefit, but ultimately our misery. Definitely agree with you too 😊. True value can’t be measured on a rating scale. It can only be understood through experience. Loved this from Bree 💕

Why do you say that?

Child free kids are not a possession let's hope you stay free of them

It'd be a good topic. I don't want kids so would be an interesting topic.

!!!!!!!

Loved it to 😊🌸👜!

I think some men are just scared of women who can hold their own. It’s acc pathetic 😅 !! The right man for you will admire it and build along side you & eventually with you. Forget society. My first real relationship was at 23 but I will say one thing.. if you do want to be in a relationship eventually, never switch off completely (in regards to dating). Don’t just put your career first. Everything need’s balance. Hope your business venture goes well 😌

focus on yourself do not chase men let it happen naturally!!