Never, it's a set up for disaster

Definitely true. She also says protect your fertility.

​@@Rene-cn4jc Thank you.

Facts!! I've seen so many cooking, cleaning, ironing, s*cking, f'kn, paying half the bills, etc and then get left and the man is taking care of another woman and go on to marry a woman that don't even do all of that. I've seen that play out countless times.

Love this one ❤

Sounds nice until we worldly and godly. Are you married to a Christian man?

#TarynDodds Amen!

wise words, u may say that again

Amen amen!!!

Thank god for athiests.

In that we should take accountability also… our choice of man and staying too long.. we must create own boundaries, you waited too long my dear.

My story...

Yaaassss...been there

@@mosimamara7073 you live you learn

Same situation... 7 years I've been with a man Trying to be A ride or die chick... Wasted 7 years of my life.

That is really sad and just so evident of the Loyalty that we are lacking in today’s men smh Timewasters

I always say "I don’t care what I am doing with you. If you're willing to take a gamble on me, it tells me all I need to know about you and how see me." You will not get another chance to gamble me again.

The reason he came back after being with the younger one was probably because he was dumped. She'd call him up every now and then to smash/attention, he'd say yes and that's how she got pregnant. The times he called you back afterwards were because no one else wanted him and you answered every call to hear him say he missed you...drunk or not. He took you answering as a possible sign you're not entirely over him and he could weasel his way in. Now that he's got another mouth to feed, he needs monetary assistance (& a mother figure for himself who's going to rub his back and get him out of jams) from someone who provided it in the past ....you. So he decided to shoot his shot. Tough love, but you didn't help him become a better man, son and father to his kids. He did the biggest f up by impregnating a random (I'll take it she's not wifey) who he supposedly doesn't even like. I don't feel sorry for any of the adults in this story, including you, because you're an adult (and chose to be with him freely regardless of the red flags and you still pick up his calls) I just feel for the kids. They're likely to repeat the toxic behaviors. Sad.

People shouldn't be addicted to compliments. Like someone says You are pretty or charming.... immediately make a relationship or marriage. It's good to be emotionally sober and meditation is a great tool to be in balance and calm. Man who loves only himself can not experience true love with other woman. He sees women as service providers, but it's questionable whether he is able to love even his own friends. Maybe if he treats his friends with respect he may treat a partner with respect too.

People are intoxicated by popularity.... They want to be popular, then they realize honesty is better quality than being popular in the group. She/he says I like you, but she/he should be true to himself/herself. It's like watching the tv commercials saying this is the best product. well, the best products don´t need advertisement, they sell themselves.

The behavior or habits that you practice during your singleness does not disappear when you get married. That also includes bad judgment.

@@constancereynolds3110 Ok so your agree with her that a man isn’t husband material if he’s sleeps with a woman on the first date.

​@@laurencameron3150 I agree 💯 so ladies we can judge men also.. and if a man tries to get u in bed the first day... move on..

​@@stormyv.8890 For sure

I dont want sex before marriage. I want someone who likes me for me. And i want to provide the same for the right man. A permanent relationship is about many things in life. Sex is great but its like 20% of what makes a life together. When the problems come you want someone reliable and positive. Players can go use someone else. Not me. For sure.

LOVE THE BREAKDOWN.

Lol they make people confused 😐

Bruh 😞😞

Trust me. When you find your person it won't seem like that much work.

I hear you but we can’t get discouraged. We will find balance and get the high value man God has for us 🙏❤️🙏

Preach! That is great advice.

Amen!! I totally agree! It’s damn if U do an damn if U don’t! 🤷🏽‍♀️ At the end of the day U can do your absolutely best at trying to please him…..but if that man don’t want U, he don’t want U. Periodt.✌🏾

So funny I was virgin with my ex, and he still did not care! 😂🤣 yes I slept with him fast, but I wanted him to be the only one, he still thought wrong about me, also just because I used a huge dildo I guess he thought bad ab me, when i have been with only him!!! Unbelievable. I mean he has been sleeping around with random women and they were not virgin! I cant believe it. He even thought I could cheat. Jeeez! What else can I do? I was virgin just got him!

The interesting psychology is the less sex you have the first month I mean no sex just talk and romantic gestures the more you are attracted to the person because you don't see him just like an object you see him as a human being with wisdom, emotions, feelings, humor, nice hobbies It is an interesting observation that if you wait to have sex, your point of view about the guy is much richer, your love and attraction to him starts to be richer and if you have the first sex after 2 or 3 months, it can be just plus because the richer the point of view about him his lifestyle, his values, his hobbies, music, science, knowledge the richer experience can be sexually and romantically....after a few months of dating. I am just guessing. I am not an expert. But experts say the same way you treat your sex life, the same way you treat other areas of your life. It's like you go to Paris, you don't want to see all the attractions and the Eiffel Tower on the first day. You just want to get some coffee in a nice restaurant and introduce yourself to the city. After a few days, you visit the attractions to absorb its beauty and interesting stuff about the city. so you are investing your attention into knowing him, even knowing his flaws that are meaningless because you are interested in him as human, it's called imperfect perfection. You see a tree that has an imperfect shape, or size but the tree is imperfectly perfect because it's natural. Nature is imperfect, and trees are imperfect, therefore they are imperfectly perfect in their beauty. Therefore humans also should not try to look perfect but natural.

Here's something married people never reveal; sexless marriages are a reality. So, don't get married just so u can have sex. That's not a good enough reason.

@Tony Shearin no Tony...sometimes it means we have done the hard work and have become women who the low value abusive men cant fuck with. Dont bother underestimating women like us.

Amen 🙏🏽

Respectfully, i don't like the term "Daddy Issues". The narrative is placing the blame on the woman who was a victim of her dad's shortcomings/failures. He's not being held accountable for his behaviors instead, it's placed on her.

@@elyseb674 i didnt make up the term.

@Hopefully222 oh, I know that. I don't like the word that society created. Forgive me if that was your perception. Completely agree with what you said; I can relate.

Exactly!! I concur!! Those type of men U can give 110% and still won’t be enough. 🤷🏽‍♀️🥴

Big facts I ❤my hubby🇵🇦

So True!

Powerful

What does Stephan say, “you’ll never be enough for the wrong person,” or something like that. And Dr Gabor Maté says “it’s hard to get enough of something that isn’t quite enough.”

Wx

Right. This is how women end up giving a whole decade to man with no ring.

Even after marriage, don’t become the maid and get taken for granted.

It depends on what you looking for in that relationship ppl always think women are always dating to get married 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Women don't need to be a servant even after the ring. Look at how Steven Crowder treated his dutiful wife.

What I don"t understand is why are all the "requirements" and twisting yourself into a pretezel meant to please and reel in a man . When will we finally have an open and balanced conversation about the responsibilities a man has to be the type of man worth this extensive investment of videos, education, time, focus and energy. Why is it all the woman's responsibilty to make a man happy and it is all of our fault when he isn't. In adfitiin ti it being our job to fix that. When are we going to start making men accountable for what THEY need to do in order to change themselves so that both men and women can build healthy, equally respectful and emotionally safe relationships.

Numbers 2, 5 and 8 are my faves by far

You took good notes 😊

I think you need experience to have wisdom. This is man is not in a successful marriage so I don’t want to hear anything he has to say. I don’t think he has even ever been married.

@@Leydo773 A doctor doesn’t need to have had cancer to know how to treat it. Wisdom does not always require experience, some people are just gifted with it.

That makes total sense!

Yes girl! I love those guidelines

I agree it doesn't take years to decide you want to be with someone. It's a feeling and you just know.

Did you let him know your deadline?

As you should 💯💯💯. For me , 6 months through a year then we on the next level aka marriage . If not I’m at the door . Marriage conversations is a must. If he doesn’t believe in marriage I’m exiting left. Men have his whole lifetime to waste , women don’t have that.

This made me stay in a horrible rship for Years😮😮

That's why I say, if he can't reciprocate, we can't date! Period! I'm tired of one-sided relationships. I can date myself better than he can.😉

Wow this guy is really a intelligent person and very interesting man

This was refreshing. Thank you.

❤

Can I ask what is you do for a living?

Thanks for your advice for dating wealthier men! Most of us date regular/poor men. So yea we have to cook and clean 😢😅 probably cause we are not rich ourselves 🤷🏽‍♀️

@@teresayoung6117 honestly, this is been a very difficult change for me because I am a custom to that dynamic. I only began to see this new lifestyle recently, and being around the men who require a different type of thing from you. Yes, an occasional meal I will cook, but in general they just want you to plan life, organize help to set up insurance and meetings plan parties-request a maid coordinate with the dry cleaning stuff like that… They don’t want you to cooking and cleaning, and then not dressed and ready to go to their galas and their events. I lost a really big catch by offering, my services in the way that I thought would be wifely duties. Just keep in mind if you ever are in that environment, those men definitely see wifely duties in a totally different way.

Now... a man who sees anyone doing the activities of a functioning adult as "peasantry" is also problematic. However; it definitely shouldn't be expected for women to take on all that work with no regard for other aspects of what makes her human.

@@tamelap168We needed to hear this different view of dating expectations. I women that are married to men that does most of the cooking. They’ve been married for at least 30 something years. I guess you can say they’re old school. Thanks for the perspective point.

Thank you 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

That’s actually what courtship is. Back in the day the concept of having a boyfriend or girlfriend did not exist. So men courted multiple women and women were courted by multiple men. If one man preferred a particular woman after courting her he would speak to her and then go to her father to ask for her hand in marriage. Courtship was a way for both men and women to not waste their time in long relationships which would lead to s£x outside marriage. Courtship is a lost art. It’s something that we use to do. So courting and being courted by more than one person is actually normal. The reason people don’t like courtship is because it’s created for people who desire marriage and not dating around for fun.

@Roma Thank you for addressing this. I realize I was speaking SPECIFICALLY about the Biblical model of courtship. Most people do not have a biblical worldview. But to your point, yes, people began to evaluate a number of potential suitors and made a selection. You are referring to a European cultural construct that developed later. The issue is that people are not having conversations and simply enjoying one another's company to select a suitable mate. But AGAIN, the goal was marriage, and two people engaged one another with that expressed understanding. What people are doing now is taking multiple rides on a merry go round that includes sex. And THAT is contrary to both models of courtship.

@@quinntheqt4281 I see what you’re saying but that’s because people don’t court correctly. The original intention of courtship never included s£x. In fact courting was a way for a woman to save her virginity while also choosing the best man for her. Men couldn’t just sleep around either he had to be prepared for marriage. My sister did that except she called it rotational dating. She dated around 3 men at a time all who courted her and she was vetting each. If they asked her to be their girlfriend she told them she’s seeking marriage and will only commit to a man once he proposed. She said it scared away the ones who weren’t ready for marriage or wanted friends with benefits. She’s now married to my BIL who was also talking to another woman at the time but realized my sister was a gem and didn’t want to lose her so he proposed a month later. The point of courtship is not to sleep around which defeats the entire purpose but date until you find connection and a marriage minded person who’s ready to start a family. I think it’s genius. I’d rather court than spend 2+ years being a gf wondering if some man is going to propose not even knowing if he’s marriage minded. It puts me in my feminine and the man in the masculine as well which is healthy for all relationships. The woman does have responsibilities to choose from a healthy pool of men tho. Some women don’t know how to use discernment and observe a man to see if it’s worth being courted by him. Some guys have obvious red flags like being aggressive and disrespectful. Not being established in their career, not having realistic achievable goals or not respecting boundaries and they still choose to date him. So courtship is for women who are healthy, have boundaries and can recognize a healthy masculine and marriageable man.

@Roma I hear you. The problem is that courting multiples doesn't allow anyone to truly fall in love with One. The entire purpose of THAT kind of vetting is utilitarian. I understand it. I just don't subscribe to it. It actually plays right into the whole notion of sexual marketplace value. But that's what most singles are doing out here today. It breeds problems because neither person was EVER truly singularly focused. The preliminary affections & intentions were divided & a marriage won't thrive with that foundation. It may survive it, though. Two people will do what works for them. Every relationship is different. All the best!

Oh they love that line 🙄 so everybody else was crazy but u was the common denominator oh ok 😂

Very well said.

The men need to act like husbands then. It’s a two way street

If you're a wife before the ring, you should automatically have discernment about who you select to be with. If you notice a red flag, leave. Those standards make you very selective and you'll be able to weave out the men God doesn't have for you.

Exactly right. It goes both ways!

Us women must have a deadline. That way you don’t waste time . Set them boundaries. Mine is 6 months to a year or I’m out . I’m not having no man wasting my time .

There’s definitely a way to know after the first date even before you meet them. If you submit to the Will of God; he’ll show you your spouse! You just have to court her according to His Word

My first date lasted 4 days we went out of town and had dates everyday. I knew we had a connection and chemistry we are just alike on every level. I don’t think everyone gets to experience there best friend.

I like your opinion, I really am 👍🥰✌️✌️

Facts

Very well said thank you, I needed to read this

They do expects us to be as a husband.

I agree. I’m always looking for the men on the posts. Just curious to see how many are willing to take the advice from other men. I know my EX would never sit and listen to a video like this because he knows it all. U can’t tell him nothing. 🫤

I agree! The title is a little off and more men would benefit from this conversation

Wow, interesting!

Love it!!

I'll get there pretty soon... I've been with this amazing man for a year and I expect us to go to the next level in no more than a year. If it hasn't happened by then I put myself in the market again.

He was a lucky guy😁congratulations

Same. I was prepared to walk away after a year of dating... we've been married 17 years. When you know what you want, there is no reason to waste each other's time.

Degenerate behavior fr

Personally I think the focus is on the woman because she has to give consent to have sex.

@Tracey Duarte Yes, but he is requesting sex so I don't see how the woman is made out to be this worthless trash and the man gets a trophy.

Because women hold all the power when it comes to consensual sex. Women sleep with who they want, men sleep with who they can. When you keep your legs closed, you get to really know who you’re dealing with without creating soul ties.

Women control access to sex. We don’t play by the same rules or it would be as easy for a man to get sex as it is for a woman.

It’s a male chauvinist perspective that they can sleep with multiple women whenever and as many times as they want. Thinking that makes them a man. I’m not saying the act of sex on the 1st date is the problem. Looking from the perspective that only the women lose their morale is wrong and immature.

My man knows how to put me in the mood, so it’s all good

Women usually don't want sex because they're with a man that doesn't know how to turn her on and/or the sex sucks for her.

That’s beautiful!

I agree 💯

Same

💯 I fully agree!

Totally get it. The desperate saying always me as being affectionate and showing love and devotion might be seen as desperate. When I sense that someone does not want me, I literally leave and suck the tears.

Well, I guess I'm desperate than! I'm a woman, and I'm never say I don't need a man....

You have a good head on your shoulders don't change who you are follow your instincts and take your time with dating.

I’m on the same boat too. I’m this close to give up and remain single. Online dating ain’t for me. Until the right one comes I’ll keep myself single.

Try not going so deep into your goals at first. If you like someone let them get to know you more on a personal level than a professional one. That way you won't intimidate a man. But be sure to determine if that man's professional goals will fit your needs and know what you will compromise on.

@@meganbrown6506 I actually don’t talk about my life on a professional level in the beginning, I think that’s what triggers their interest. They always ask where I work, or live and when they actually see for themselves everything changes.

@@alexandraclarke431 That sucks. I think eventually you’ll find someone who’s just ready to be with you. It might take some time but it will happen.

I just don’t believe that but I would if they lost their virginity together then they would have a soul tie.

Educated…hardly..I barely understand the guy with the white shirt. He barely speaks English, mainly slang, profanity & black American “ebonics”. Stephan is the only one who speaks clearly. Men with a limited vocabulary are such a turn off to me, I could not imagine dating during these crazy times. Thank God I lucked out by meeting my husband in medical school. He did too since I’m an MD/PhD & he’s a Cardiologist. Good luck ladies, it is rough out there!!😫