the perks of loneliness

Рет қаралды 42

29 күн бұрын

Loneliness has been my most consistent intimate companion in life.
Being friend-dumped in elementary school by my my very first best friend - my ONLY friend at the time - sparked a pattern of insecurity and subconscious self-sabotage in relationships that has plagued me ever since. Between that & my childhood “obedience” socialization, I became hyper fixated on fitting in & accepting what I could get. I hid the shame & loneliness I was carrying, and I tried my hardest to just be liked - to just feel wanted.
As you might imagine, this combination set me up for **MANY** a struggle in my teens, 20s, & 30s - lessons I am still learning & leaning into, and depths of self I am still gaining access to.
I’ve made a conscious commitment that 2024 is a year about ME, & my vision. For the first time since my first toxic romantic relationship at 15 (sadly also my first romantic relationship period), I am choosing complete single hood. My intimacy boundaries are higher than they have ever been; my inner circle right now is me.
For the first time in my life, I am allowing & embracing aloneness.
And you know what, ya’ll? This is sooo much better than the running, hiding, & avoiding I’ve been doing up until this point. Soooooo much better than the chronic feeling of suffocating myself - stifling my shine - delaying my potential - so I could fit within the containers around me. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO[x infinity] much better than all kinds of unnecessary shit I put myself through trying simply not to be alone. 🙇🙇🙇
Walking with loneliness is actually having the opposite effect on my life: it is allowing in the spaces & containers that truly reach & speak to my soul; spaces & containers I can truly be & bring ALL of myself into.
Maybe you relate, and maybe you don’t - but we ALL feel lonely now & again, and the dominant cultural norm is to ESCAPE, AVOID, NUMB, FILL FILL FILL. (#capitalism👯) Go shopping, scroll social media, eat, text the ex, call that friend you don’t REALLY click with but is always down to hang…so many ways we stifle our truth.
And I’m done✌️✌️✌️ I’m done trying to feed my loneliness in ways that don’t actually fulfill me. I’m done running & making decisions from a place of not wanting to feel. I’m done trying to convince myself to be like anyone else.
I’ve BEEN on this road of no return for a hot minute now, and I ain’t turning back any time soon. Can’t NOTHING scare me off my path; can’t NOTHING convince me otherwise. Embracing my loneliness has me feeling more powerful than ever, and I KNOW the aloneness is temporary because I can see & feel the healing. Funny how that happens when there’s no outside distractions;)
LONELINESS has its perks. Let’s talk about it😜
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#lonely #loneliness #alone #authenticity #vulnerability #selfhealing #codependentnomore #me4me #decolonize #belonging

Пікірлер: 2

@AlexKellogg-pv4qk 23 күн бұрын

We are social creatures IMO which makes us fight with ourselves sometimes when alone. Not always but sometimes. I think it’s obvious that we are social creatures because I’ve seen what happens to any male who gets put into the box in prison (got caught with a bunch of mushrooms… oops). We almost always lost our mind when left alone for long enough… it’s simply a matter of time. With that being said, many people don’t need a lot of socializing and that’s me. I was super social yet super sensitive as a child until about 25. Alcohol and drugs were a big part of my life from 14-15 Slowly but surely I radically changed and became someone who loves being alone. I love it, but certainly get lonely if I don’t socialize for ‘too’ long. The only thing that gets to me is being single when I am also in-fact single, but that doesn’t get me too down, I suppose I just wouldn’t want to stay single from 39 till 80 haha. When I was social, and when I do feel social, I enjoy ‘less social people’ because they often have standards and are polite and authentic. I think you seem awesome (no offense to the average person) compared to the average person who needs validation from others. Keep enjoying your own company and loving yourself. What sounds better…. Hearing the same old small talk over and over and over or…. Maybe having a new experience or thought all by yourself and enjoying the heck out of the only person who’s really got your back (yourself). I hope you have a wonderful life… but when you feel like you need to be around someone… enjoy that too and treat the person the way you want to be treated regardless if they return the favor. Maybe they will return the favor another time. Socializing is a skill so a little practice doesn’t hurt. When I get lonely I talk to GOD and say thanks for letting me experience this pain and love and everything in between. I often apologize for mistakes as well.. Being alone and being grateful can bring blissful experiences that would make any party on earth seem lame. Being around people doesn’t always prevent blissful type feeling but people are a big distraction. I suppose a real good laugh is something that’s not easily achieved while alone 🧐. But I’ve relaxed and said thanks and kinda meditated while alone before and wow…. It’s a good way to feel at peace and full of love and sometimes even get a blissful feeling that just can’t be had at a group event nearly as easily Have a wonderful life, thanks for sharing. I enjoyed listening and I’m sure some other people will as well Getting back to a nice Saturday night alone and saying thanks to the universe for allowing me to experience life What an incredible experience it can be and the troubling days just make the good ones that much better 🙂

@dannietwinkly8978 26 күн бұрын

so wise🦉very useful reframes🎛️ …speaking of navigating uncomfortable feelings- lately, I’ve been practicing asking my emotions: “what do you need me to know?” This technique was birthed by Adrienne Maree Brown & Prentis Hemphill during their most recent collaboration. It has provided a surprisingly insightful & effective way to shift a stuck mood (especially when I’m feeling frustrated that I’m frustrated 😝 lol). anyway, I love how you think & what you shared helps. hard relate 🐺