I feel like another thing that irritates me to no end in the furry fandom is that once you draw one thing once, you're expected to keep drawing that thing over and over, and any deviation from it is heresy. I think Furries might like their art a little too much and just grow super entitled to what they want

Oh man, people overstepping boundaries is definitely a good pick for a topic in this video. I have one follower who occasionally messages me on insta just to send me memes and jokes? Im absolutely terrible at setting boundaries and i hate telling people to just stop doing something. But its seriously uncomfortable and if they do it again I will probably block them lol

Toxic furries would say "why people hate us" and they do the most problematic in the world

I have met a few people who have overstepped my boundaries and I have this one person who right away came to mind, I posted a drawing on a discord server, someone complimented it and then straight up pulled up in my DMS and right away started venting to me begging for me to respond and talk to them (which I did since I use to be a BIG people pleaser) But anytime I said "I got to go" and etc they would say "Please make sure you tell me when you come back" it was very weird so I ended up blocking them, I never got to know their name or anything about them and they didn't know anything about me besides the fact I drew art but chose to instead of getting to know me they chose to straight up start venting to me

I'm guilty with the whole venting thing(when young/teen) I do regret venting and just hide it(and is fixing myself I do still regret it)

from my experience online you get a lot of unsocialised people who don't have friends in real life and never learned what appropriate behaviour or boundaries are. lotta people need to stop looking for comfort in strangers on the internet (they've known for 2 days) and start looking for a literally anyone qualified to unpack allat.

Why didn’t I watch this video sooner!! This is so true. All of it 100% Heavy on the free art and overstepping boundaries. A lot of people , mostly younger kids (from my experience) are super entitled to free and and to do art trades which, I usually just brush off bc I’m not doing art for free especially bc I prioritize my sanity and other owed art lmao.

great video, made some awesome points!! i'm not personally a furry but most furries i meet are pretty chill. i still stand by that but omg an interaction i had with this one person really pissed me off and taught me to never draw for ppl for free unless it's a gift. basically i was sketching people's ocs as a fun little challenge to get more comfortable drawing in my style and i sketched this one person's fursona. the response i _thought_ i would get was "looks cute, thanks!" but what i actually got was them dming me saying it would look better if colored 😐 this already got me mad but i decided to just do rq just to get him off my back and just not talk to them again. but the more i thought abt it the more i didnt want to do it and since i'm rlly bad at confrontation i just blocked them and thought that'd be the end of it. HE GOT HIS FRIEND TO DM ME ASKING WHY I BLOCKED THEM ☠️ if that ain't some weirdo behavior idk what is- so i unblocked him and just said i meant to block sum1 else and drew their stupid drawing. he was rlly nit-picky abt it too 🙄 AND THEN THEY HAD THE NERVE TO ASK IF I WANTED TO BE FRIENDS LIKE- i just said yes and after i finished it i blocked him, their friend, and deleted my acc- sorry for the long comment i just needed to get that off my chest 😵😵

the furry fandom has a lot of overlap with the cosplay community, but i don’t usually see anything acknowledging it. most (if not all) of the issues you brought up in this video also apply to cosplayers!! tysm for raising awareness, this stuff is really normalized in both communities and it’s really nice to see someone talk about it

This video goes over these issues very well! I’ve had too many boundaries overstepped by commissioners and just strangers in the furry community as a whole. Especially thinking that just because I’m nice and respond to messages, we are automatically friends with each other. Love the video 🤍🫶

Bro what i HAAATE about the furry Fandom (especially online) is that you talk to someone new, expecting to be good friends, days, later to get a text that says "u-uhm I have a crush on you". Like bro we're barely on a first name basis how the HELL do you have a crush on me so quickly, as a demi-aroace person it takes me a long time to even consider someone as a crush on mine. So when I turn the person down they get all sorts of emotions, even one threatening to kick their own bucket because i don't feel the same about them. Its really frustrating.

Oh my gooooodness absolutely speaking facts! I've had mostly good interactions with other furries, but I had one trying to force a friendship on me. I got uncomfortable and blocked them. They started harassing me in my dm's and comments on literally all of their alt accounts. They used autism as an excuse. My guy. I'm autistic too. It's not an excuse. That being said you have a right to block anyone for any reason, you don't owe them an explanation. You have a life outside of the internet and I think a lot a lot of people forget that. Furries and being chronically online and being entitled to other people's time is such a huge problem. I'm not saying it's every furry it's obvious not, but we seriously need to talk about it more and be more comfortable with setting boundaries.

This is such a great video! It’s interesting learning more about the culture in a fandom that, although I am not personally in, I have respect for and appreciate. I can also somewhat relate on the boundaries point, since I’ve always had my dm’s open and easily accessible. I’m glad I’ve never had any outrageously bad experiences (luckily), but I’ve also had one or two experiences where someone tried to instantly be my friend despite them literally just messaging me (and I had no idea who they were, we weren’t mutuals). I will say, with the communities I’m in, most people are generally pretty nice! Most of the messages I’ve received have been really nice and supportive, and they make my day. Also, I 100% agree on your point with safe spaces for minors and making 18+ content clear. I’m someone who hasn’t been exposed too much to that kind of content yet, and I try my best to avoid it. I always appreciate when people add warnings and/or make it explicitly (haha pun lol) clear that their content is NSFW. Because of people doing this, I’ve never had to have an experience where I suddenly stumble upon inappropriate art, and I’m glad that it’s a pretty common thing. Also, a bit off topic, but I really love your art! Watching your background speed paints is always so satisfying lol

THE ROLEPLAY ONE. OH MY GOODNESS. Back in like 2019 there was this furry role player that dm’ed me and kept trying to press me into roleplaying with him. I kept declining him and he wouldn’t take no for an answer, so he “bit my leg and turned me into a wolf because it looked like a deer leg”?? This was on discord.. obvs

Also I feel like the furry fandom claims to value uniqueness and creativity and then every fursuit has the exact same artstyle 💀💀💀

Btw the opposite thing for friendship topic is - not be able to end friendship when they want to. Yes, I'm the one who can randomly approach in DMs and ask if person would like to try be friends, not for free art or any benefits, just someone to talk about art, OCs, memes etc. But I always inform, they can just say "no" any time!! But no freaking way anyone will respect themselves and their/mine time, they'd rather deal with me extra week ignoring and shit instead of just saying "sorry it doesn't working out". BRUH NORMALIZE PEACEFULLY ENDING FRIENDSHIP ITS NOT A RUDE THING TO DO

a section of this video sort of reminded me of the one time somebody asked me (when i was 13-14 on deviantart) for 18+ art and got angry when i said no. I didn't even know them they just randomly tried to ask me to draw weird art ;-; (i won't get into many details since i'm still under 18 and it feel's kinda invasive to talk abt in detail here but yeah)

The mention of the scratch art community gave me flashbacks 💀 I haven’t really interacted with much art communities online outside of scratch yet, but I get the feeling that it was much better inside the kid-friendly bubble, with dmcs and multi-animator projects being more accessible. It doesn’t suffer from many of the problems that communities outside it seem to face, mostly because of that fact that it is for kids, but also because everyone seemed more positive on there. I don’t know though, that’s just my opinion 😅

When I first joined the fandom I went first to the Warrior Cats Amino for a week and the found the Furry Amino, the Warrior Amino mostly had rp chat rooms, story creation chat rooms, and fan fiction clan rooms, furry Amino had basic chat rooms, and rp rooms, furries were quite accepting especially when i was really nervous and skeptical of joining, I'm glad I joined it's been really nice experience. Also you made a really great video, with quite straight to the point video, keep up your work!

hi qwizz, love your videos, but i love using them as background noise while im drawing , so im just wondering if after your subtitle screens, youd be able to say what the subtitle is so im not having to look up all the time? i also feel this would make your content a little bit more accessible too as some people wont be able to see the subtitles for various reasons or people may not be able to read it :0

great video Qwizz!! I can't say much about any experiences I have with the furry fandom cause I usually limit myself from any interactions, mostly because im

I had this crazy experience with an old online friend of mine in the fandom, who could not and would not understand a boundary of mine around questions regarding my gender (I’m a trans man) This is while I was with an ex of mine who (at the time) was a cis man, and this “friend” would insist that “technically” my ex and I were a straight couple because I “technically was female” and they were male?! Whenever I distanced myself from him after expressing why this made me uncomfortable, he then went on to tell me how much this traumatised him and how much I “fucked him up mentally” because I enforced a boundary of mine.. Fortunately though, this is the only main negative encounter that I’ve had in the fandom :) I’ve made some awesome friends

I'm an artist in the Sonic community - there's a lot of overlap with furries. Seems like the biggest problems have a lot of overlap as well. Overstepping & ignoring boundaries especially is a MASSIVE issue in the Sonic community too, particularly on Twitter. I've had my art "fixed," borderline NSFW made of an oc w/o permission, accounts I've never even seen before to asking me out or to be friends... There's even a noticeable group of accounts in the fandom that never supports the artists (not even liking or sharing) but will always show up to dump their ocs in your replies (without fail!) if you even *hint* that you may do something for free. Heck, even if you aren't, they'll do it anyway. It's a shame bc it makes the community feel trashy. I want to make friends naturally, but the loud minority is deafening at times. I do love the series and the good parts of the community, but it's by far the worst fandom I've been part of.

great points and vid as always. i agree with all of these as a furry myself

I encountered one furry online who said that he loves me in the first few chat messages. He has a gf/ bf btw. Well he said we could be together romantically with each other and that there is no problem, because we are both polyamorous. He got upset when I said that I don't want a romantic relationship. Especially not with a stranger on the internet. Also explained to him that I'm aromantic and I'm not interested. He commented on so many posts of mine. Sometimes either on DM or comments he said "you hate me" with no visible reason.

The amount of people in VRchat who invited me to “cuddle” is quite… unsettling

I like that these issues are being addressed!!! I agree with you on most points and hope that more attention is brought to them!

Dang the personal boundaries happen in the Anime Fandom All the time. I had to deal with one who I call Wee-A-Boo-Billy, who literally as a MINOR back in 2007 or 2008, said I was his girlfriend, I was 27 and in college, all becauee I liked Inuyasha. I wanted be left alone...and also HE WAS A MINOR! I told him I wasn't interested and then got offended that I became engaged to someone in 2010, he actually got my husband booted off convention staff based on a rumor! I literally got upset

DUDE I LOVE YOUR FRWEEKING ART STYLE

Honestly, Im surprised youre so young, yet mature in these discussion. Great video!

very much true!! what a nicely crafted video discussing these topics even if it wasn't outright saying what it is. i was a minor when i first joined the community, and while not trauma dumping it wasn't a fun time. i am glad that nowadays that theres actual movement for people to make it safe and at least a separation for minors so they can have a safer space [tho tbf the community has a whole should be safe for everyone*, well most everyone but lets not go into all that stuffs for obvious freaks lol.) all in all i am glad that movement is happening for betterment but also sad that wasn't there for earlier years for me and many other artists around that time. again, based video 100% agree and had similar thoughts.

When you listed the most common forms of boundary-overstepping, I was immediately met with familiarity. For every single one. I've met quite a few people like that, and looking back, the majority of them were furries. I'm not a furry myself, and generally have no problem with furries and what being a furry entails, but I can't help but think "oh no" whenever someone who is openly a furry tries to interact with me due to the problems you outlined in this video. Over half of the furries I meet have boundary problems ranging from minor to major (mostly the latter), so I can't help but become a bit anxious whenever I interact with furries, regardless of if they turn out to not have boundary problems.

I sat here confidently saying to myself "I've never had someone contact me for random roleplay" until I remember someone approaching me for their "sketchy" and "highly specific" scenario. Then I denied them and promptly forgot about them. They gave me a llama (DeviantART amirite) and I gave one back....they managed to comment on my profile despite my comments being turned off. (I think they did it through the notifcations page) They approached me for a SECOND time still wanting the same thing as last time.

6:40 is crazy because .. yes, that is in fact how most normal human relationships work. It's giving "so the more i get, the more expensive it is? Is that how this works?"

also regarding the judging people for who they follow point, I've also seen people do that for liking tweets. I don't know about everyone else but I don't go check out a person's profile if I see a tweet on my timeline and like it.

21:59 Hey uh..Just thought I'd let you know chibi is pronounced "cheebee" and not "chibby" or "chubby", just sayin'. :v

Everything in the video sums up the problems perfectly, overstepping boundaries, expecting everything for free when you can just make it yourself or actually I don't know. Pay the guy who is working to do it in the first place? I do understand not understanding which tone is used and assuming for something else as it happens at any point, real life and online likewise. I am guilty of trying to deal and resolve issues people throw at me whenever exist somewhere in the internet, trying to defend myself when I can't tell if I'm doing is villainizing myself even further then what people trying to portray me as. I try my best to get better at it.

I see alot of hating people for who they follow alot on tiktok. I people will start unfollowing or even blocking mutals for following someone who was called out like 2 days ago.

I’m sorry but I have a bit of a problem with the bit at the end, why would I have to change how I talk or the stuff I do because of the age of the audience who watches me? Like I don’t really want young people watching me, but that happens, that shouldn’t be my responsibility, I’m not in control of the people who come and view my material or opinions.

I'm so glad someone is finally talking about this. I've been in the fandom since I was 12 (I'm 15 now btw) and I've been exposed to nsfw content from immature adults that knew there were children in their audience. I understand that people lie about their ages(which in itself is a problem but that's a whole other can of worms) but that doesn't excuse the ignorance of the existence of minors. Seeing adult content at such a young age affected me even after I stopped interacting with those types of accounts. Having unsupervised access to the Internet did play into this but that doesn't mean that gives the fandom a free pass.

Merry Qwizzmas!

Literally past few days I got a dm from someone wanting to make friends, and I’m like cool! I always want to make friends in the community as I struggle with it. So everything is okay until they ask if they think you use to walk is weird. And I said “I don’t like it and I don’t want to know about it.” And proceeded to go into detail how they like it. Then when I finally said “can we please change subject I’m not comfortable” they proceeded to tell me their dog and grandpas died recently. And I’m like bro you just met me in my head 🗿

As someone who recently cut out a furry individual from my life after learning he was not only overstepping mine but multiple other people's boundaries for years (One of which being MY OWN FAMILY) for his own personal gain, even after we *explicitly* told him to knock it off and that he's old enough to know better. The overnormalization of this behavior is absolutely a problem that I don't see nearly enough people in the furry fandom talk about, thank you.

this is the second video I've seebn (the first being character trading culture) but I agree with a lot of these points if not all! (Subbed and liked, commenting to boost since that's all I got lol). As someone who is generally mostly reserved to close friends I'd be mortified if any of these forced friendships happened to me. Don't get me wrong, if I go into a public server and start chatting with people I'm potentially gonna click with someone (however minus the fact I refuse to add minors to dms due to my age) and sometimes have had random dms that made no sense, I feel awkward asking ''hi how come you added/messaged me?'' if they don't elaborate because I then feel like a douche lmao even though I know in my mind of minds that the question is reasonable I just find it so difficult to ask (I don't know how to socialise LMAO)

Thank you. And to be fair, as a normal furry that just be there on the sidelines, i have seen more toxicity in the furry fandom rather than saying others like the Zelda fandom or others. You made very valid points and I completely agree with you

This is why I'm more of a casual furry these days.

When I was 15 I think I did the overstepping thing a couple times (never venting just kinda dming ppl more frequently than I should) bcs i joined the internet late and didn't know how people get online friends. I really regret it now and hope i didn't make them uncomfortable. (tbh i still don't really know how people organically get online friends so if someone wants to tell me id appreciate that!)

This is a great video, but may I ask what brush you use? It looks so tasty!

the art mooching part reminds me of a weirdo i met months ago. we'll be calling them "unicorn". (fetish ments //) so one time i got a note from unicorn on da asking for my discord and naively, i gave it to them and they added me on there. then they asked if i could be friends with them and i obliged, only for them to mooch feet fetish art off of me for weeks on end and it was so overwhelming i had to close my art requests because of them, and then it clicked to me that unicorn only wanted to be "friends" with me just so they can get free art from me because every now and then they'd come into my dms and be like "hey i miss when u did art for me :((". we're no longer friends thankfully. moral of story: if someone asks to be your friend only to spam you with a barrage of requests with nothing in return whatsoever then thats a red flag. 1 request by your friend every now and then is okay but if they pester you every hour then thats not normal.

hey qwizz!! Luv ur vids. been an on and off furry fandom enjoyer for 4 yrs now and i love commentary vids ^_^ love to put em on when i draw or play rblx

You just called me out 3:06 wow... I got a bf from dm like that And I am flustered... *And yes I'm gay and we know serious stuff about each other*

tbh, i feel like this should be more organized and the reasons should more compact because half of the video is about boundaires

As a fellow furry i approve of this video.Great job!

With your last point, about adults needing to be careful about their potential audience and needing to clearly communicate that: this 100%. At the very least, just make your more adult oriented stuff on a side account where the purpose is made abundantly clear. I was a dipshit young adult one time who didnt realize this and may have made this mistake if it werent for the fact that...I don't really engage with sexual things in public. XD its an understandable mistake to make especially if u "grew up" on the internet. Especially if it was in the time frame of the internet I grew up in where things were normalized that really *shouldnt* have been normalized. Either way! Times are changing, and if public TV needs checks and balances to make sure kiddos dont unknowingly access adult content, then you (you = the adult reading this, not literally you the video creator lol) should too! I guess that oughta be common sense by now but the fact it's having to be stated in this video worries me a bit xD

Great video as always, your points are very true!!

I don't think people should change what art they want to draw and do because kids follow them, Its not the artists choice who follows their art. You follow someone on twitter, Twitter has an age barrier and most people are adults. I DO however really wish that people could put a NSFW or warning to cover images or tag so it doesn't show it to minors or just people who dont want to see it like on Furaffinity. I do agree with your other topics especially boundaries, there a lot of socially awkward people in the fandom as well who dont understand social queues. Something that really bothers me is "Climbers" people who force themselves into popular artists friend groups for status and that can be REALLY problematic when that artist is a minor.

If you see my channel you obviously know my opinion on furries which is “furries=bad” (/j) but thank FUCKING GOD for covering this topic. It genuinely infuriates me seeing the topics you cover getting neglected.

I am a small artist, (200 followers), and I made the mistake of doing frequent are giveaways to people on discord and twitter. I usually would make an announcement that the first few people to reply to a post get art. I enjoy making other people art and I will likely never do commissions (I don’t believe my work is good enough to charge for). But it gets problematic when I get constant messages asking for free art. I am only one guy, so when I have 50 messages all asking for art and the most common response when I refuse is “but you did free art for these other people” it gets frustrating. I also have the similar issue of people pretending to be friend/acquaintances only to beg me for art.

6:50 this was/is also a HUUUUUUGE problem in the dsmp fanbase - SPECIFICALLY the sbi/dark sbi half of the fanbase. I've been in a handful of discord servers around it and people (mostly 13-17 y/os let's be honest) really really really love to get SUPER personal with you SUPER quickly. Then they cry and scream and throw up when you don't respond within 10 minutes or whatever. I stopped interacting with them for that reason - I was sick of moderating "vent channels" for discord servers full of 14 year olds. Edit: The mcyt stan community is also AWFUL about controversy. Every time the community gets attacked they instantly throw some random group under the bus as if to say "look THOSE guys are bad but not US the GOOD stans!" and it's like. The mcyt stan community will never be treated like a real group of people and stop being seen as dumb and cringe if they never get over the infighting. Like it or not the internet doesn't hate mcyt stans because one creator did something bad they hate mcyt stans because it's a toxic cesspit. I saw some controversy going around a while back over people NOT WANTING TO LIKE A CAT because they thought it was a moral sin. A MORAL SIN TO SAY A CAT IS CUTE. like. oh my god it's insanity.

merry christmas qwizz!

It's not always the case but some people honestly have no idea they are acting that way, pushing friendships and oversharing and need outside help to recognise they are doing it. Often these traits are common in people with a mix of autism, adhd or bpd and have gone undiagnosed not knowing they have it and are behaving as they do... but it's not always the reason

I once saw a person who was getting death threats so instead of sucking it up she drew them fursonas and then everyone called het a snowflake and that she shouldnt be overstepping boundaries like that, like dude u were sending me death threats 2 minute ago and now ur mad i drew u a free character? Now im overstepping a boundary? So not wanting death threats isnt a boundary? Or basic human respect even??? Maybe if you didnt LITERALLY TELL ME TO DIE i wouldnt draw u a sona?? Like it says in my desc if u hate i WILL draw u a sona

merry christmas and happy holidays everyone!!

"I can understand that not everybody can decipher social meaning, but there are just certain lines you shouldn't be crossing" Autistic woman here, and this is so true. Yeah, neurotypicals abuse autistic people for the smallest things - but that are things like forgetting to greet back or talking too much about an interesting topic, not sexually harassing people. Some things are just not okay and everybody needs to know that, and I can assure you, despite being autistic, if its something this big, its easy to understand even for us. The difficulty lies in smaller, more mundane things. Okay, unnatural friendship progression is a grey area, but this is something you can just (friendly!) tell (for me, its hard to tell if I am going to fast, so an realistic estimate is helpful), and if they are an asshole over that, then its okay to block.

but the question is: how to make friends in the fandom ? i did speak with people in the fandom on vocals and such, but after that, they never speak with me ever again.i'm always like "what did i do ?"

yeah i agree with these and kinda gave some food for thought on what i do/did when i was younger

3:23 what does 2 mean

You are good at digital art.

Sometimes I be thinking I'm low key a furry but then I remember how some of them be acting. I can't associate with these animals

1:58 IDA DEERZ?!??!?!

honestly i'm not even a furry but this is the first likely normal video i see about furries lmao, which is SO good, because my encounters with furries haven't been real cool and recently one of my bestest friends came out as a furry, so i guess that's a good thing since he's (i guess) the only chill one i've seen also cool art

you're the problematic side of the furry fandom, qwizz

Hi! I love your videos and your art style! What brushes do you use?

Sorry for talking about this but what procreate pen do u use and where can I get/buy it?

People share too much information and go to hard because they are neurodivergent.

May I ask what brushes you are using on procreate ?

So yeah, does anyone know a game called Lethal Compan-

Sorry. Can't watch this vid. Recently had this huge realization in my life that I filled myself up on negative content on KZfaq. So I'm basically in the middle of an online detox right now. Seeking out only positive content currently. So while id love to watch this vid it makes me too sad ATM. Sure you'll be able to understand Quizz.

Where’s the link for the discord server

You know, the furry community was nothing after being in the mlp fandom first. Not really a good thing, mind you, but a thing

5 minutes on the positive video and 24 minutes on the negative one damn thats really sad

Im gonna eat cheetos borgir and you won't

Can I *sort of* offer an alternate perspective on the people who try to start friendships off by sharing personal struggles? It’s rare for me to comment anything super thought out, but I thought this may be important in some way. I hear that you are uncomfortable with people starting off friendships with people who they have just met by getting personal, sharing struggles, and sharing their deepest feelings, and you prefer it when friendships start naturally without going into the personal details on the first day. I have usually started friendships by doing this, and have kept up friendships by texting in huge amounts sharing all my personal thoughts throughout the days and any struggles I may go through, which you also say you are uncomfortable with. Generally, as an autistic person, I thought this was a very good strategy for getting to know people for many reasons, mainly because you can create a bond over similar feelings, and the small talk-y parts of conversations get skipped, and you will only need spend time talking about things that are significant, important, and immediately meaningful. Since I was a little kid, I have always struggled with having a filter, that being, deciding what to say or not say, or to stop talking once I had started. To me, oversharing was always something I did, and it was near-impossible to mask no matter how much labor I put into trying (I couldn’t have tried harder). It was the natural way for me to speak, and I had always noticed that my texts were longer than those of anyone I tried to speak to. It’s very painful and hurtful to hear that people share the sentiment that this kind of speaking makes them uncomfortable, because for a long time I was extremely happy with myself for coming up with this strategy and how easily I was able to form bonds with people- it was definitely meaningful as an autistic person. However, cracks were showing, of course, and many people warned me that this strategy could be overwhelming to certain people, but I never doubted it because it worked much better than anything I had tried before. I noticed that there was the implication in the video that people you talked to who started their friendships off like this would claim social cues and lack of understanding of tone was responsible. I don’t see the correlation at all, and I’m guessing this came from you thinking this because they blamed autism. I think you may be mixing autism symptoms here. The reason this happens due to autism is that autistic people may not have a clear and natural understanding of how to start, form, or keep up relationships with people. Stuff that comes naturally to others and is treated like “common sense” may be unknown to us until someone tells us. This plays into how you say you prefer friendships being formed organically and not by ‘Unnatural pattern.’ A person like me may not know how to do things naturally, and uses other, more artificial strategies in order to get in on that friendship action that neurotypical people have. The strategy may also be appealing because it gets to skip things about friendships I don't understand, like cracking jokes, teasing, and how spending time with people and sharing nothing meaningful or significant somehow creates a bond. For me it’s like “collect underpants> ???> profit” (I don’t watch South Park but I know about the meme.) I see it like “Light conversation, random activities> ???> Friendship.” However, with the ‘immediately get personal’ approach, there are issues I can clearly expect when faced with the question of why people may not like it. You brought these up. One would be the lack of desire on the part of the “person you’re trying to be friends with” to learn all of that personal information about you. I cannot ever understand this, because to me learning about a person is the most valuable thing for me, as I generally do not understand society and this can give me new hints and intel on how it may work. (Another reason why I don’t enjoy small talk or light conversation that doesn’t delve into meaningful feelings). I understand some people do not want to learn the story of a random stranger, especially if that story may involve struggles, and can give them the idea they will need to offer the person support or help in some way. This moves into what you mentioned about the people who may expect counseling, advice, or ‘therapy friendship’ from the person they have overshared to. I completely understand that it’s not right to force someone into that situation if they do not want it and the situation will create a mental toll on them. I understand that for many introverts, social interaction can be taxing and in general trying to help or console someone takes effort, and this can create a lot of pressure on the “person being vented to’’’s mental health. I know there are plenty of people, like me, who are more than happy to hear about someone’s struggles and do not feel any kind of stress from trying to help them, but as you said in the video, everyone is not the same and not everyone will have the same boundaries or feel comfortable with the same thing, and it is better to ask then to assume someone is okay with something. Another issue I am aware of, that you have also mentioned, is people who expect the same level of sharing from you, and will become angry or frustrated if you do not respond with that, respond quickly enough, or respond at all. It is absolutely wrong to try to pry into someone else’s personal problems or business that they do not wish to share, even if you would have shared those things with them or HAVE shared those things with them. This also goes with what you said about respecting boundaries, and that if people say they are not okay with a certain behavior in a relationship, that should be abided by. As for expecting responses or certain types of responses, I understand very much why this is problematic. This is very toxic and controlling behavior reminiscent of a toxic partner who makes you text them in the middle of the night because THEY want it, even if you need to sleep. You come off as very entitled if you expect a response or certain type of response from someone, especially if they have not asked to hear what you want responded to in the first place. This also plays into the fact that deep conversations like these should have consent, and should not be had if they are against the other person’s wishes. I admit I have an issue where I may vent without asking. This is generally because I cannot stop myself from talking once I have started, and because I have trouble telling vents apart from normal conversation. This has not caused any issues so far, but I understand that I should not give someone the chance to say if they want to hear something as opposed to saying it without asking. I am working on this, and I understand its importance. Conversations like these are taxing on certain people and it’s important to make sure your friends are comfortable. I also understand that people may have ulterior motives if they start off a friendship being very personal, like you said. I have only ever wanted a genuine bond and connection, and I make sure to hold my friends to the same importance I hold myself. (I sincerely hope that this doesn’t sound like virtue signaling) I understand that some people want to get things out of others, like support and love, but are not willing to give the same in return. And absolutely if someone asks you to stop venting or sharing, or to stop getting them to share what they don’t want to, why someone better avoid such a person. However, If I’ll be honest, hearing all of this is extremely hurtful. I have tried, for many years, to grasp how socializing works, and once I have thought I had something figured out, I realize that it may be something people dislike. It hurts that the natural, comfortable, and reliably useful way of behaving for me is something other people don’t like. While I don’t put you on any kind of pedestal or think I know more about you than what you share, it hurts to hear a creator whose opinions I respect say something like this. I feel a lot like I can never hope to learn how to socialize properly, and like new curveballs will always be thrown at me, disrupting my view of what I had thought I figured out. It also explains why I cared about many people way more than they cared about me, and why some people just don’t seem to want to be my friend. And even though this strategy will help you develop strong personal bonds with people, those bonds can only happen if the other person appreciates the exchange of personal feelings and struggles. As an autistic person, learning about socializing and relationships really is a thankless process, where you realize things you may have thought were normal were actually harmful. For some people, the rules of behaving in group settings come naturally, but I have always needed to have them told to me by others. This is why I gravitated towards commentary type content since I was 10- hearing bad behavior be called out let me know what the ‘bad behavior’ was. For example, I learned as a kid that giving excuses in an apology is generally a sign of a bad apology. I would not have known this otherwise. It may seem natural to others, but I need to be clued in on this kind of thing. I feel that even the people who display certain behaviors that I have condemned when writing this, may not realize these behaviors are a problem just because they haven’t been told, and I have sympathy for them in that way. (Cont. In replies)

Do you hate me?

money

WHAT !? 18 is almost too old at this point. Children in this world lose all purity between 12-14, so if you are around 16... you are fooling NO ONE.

you're acting like people took the furry fandom normal to begin with

Simga hate furry lol *Parnova.exe has laugh crashed*

Go find youre dad