The Reason You're Alone
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Жыл бұрынWe want to be part of your friendship journey, so we’ve created a few things you can share with new and old friends: kgs.link/shop-166
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Friends make life good. They provide the scaffolding that makes it not just bearable but fun. They give us a sense of meaning and purpose and are a source of security, self esteem and happiness. Almost nothing predicts how happy you will be as how connected you feel and a lack of social connection is associated with a number of diseases and a shorter life.
But maybe you have scrolled through your phone, unsure who to call to go to a movie with, to celebrate with or ask for comfort. You may realize that you don’t have enough friends and feel lonely. And it is not just you. Disconnectedness and loneliness are widespread.
Many people want more close friends but don’t know how to get them.
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@kurzgesagt Жыл бұрын
We want to be part of your friendship journey, so we’ve created a few things you can share with new and old friends: kgs.link/shop-166
@SpaceWafflerYT Жыл бұрын
hmm
@pyeitme508 Жыл бұрын
Bruh
@zHydro12 Жыл бұрын
How did you know I was lonely
@LegendaryMrIncredible69 Жыл бұрын
Wassup
@duckthirtythree Жыл бұрын
🦆
@fleef69 Жыл бұрын
This was literally posted mere moments after I sent a text to somebody about how lonely I’ve been feeling so I am now fully convinced kurzgesagt is in my walls
@DanteHellDrive Жыл бұрын
I also reached out to my old friend. I'm also open.
@laawiv7091 Жыл бұрын
omg literally same here
@waterunderthebridge7950 Жыл бұрын
They posted this video on their German channel quite a while ago, so maybe they’re more like prophets for you
@Natuesanomalies Жыл бұрын
At least you have someone to text lol
@Herbertti3 Жыл бұрын
I was just wondering how I ended up with only one friend and our work shifts never match. Was thinking of buying degu, I hear they are great pets. Kurzgesagt definitely reads minds.
@Michael_black777 Жыл бұрын
One of the worst things you can experience is when someone just loses interest in you for no reason.
@prazwalmr.8648 Жыл бұрын
I can feel this
@Splendisimo Жыл бұрын
Maybe they just didn't like you in the first place
@scaprod558 Жыл бұрын
I feel this
@Official_KC Жыл бұрын
@@Splendisimo It's definitely possible. I feel like I've been guilty of both sides when I was younger. I try harder now
@ayasolaris4971 Жыл бұрын
It sucks but I feel at peace knowing that all my friendships are not one-sided
@sampson9115 9 ай бұрын
Loneliness is a pain that’s unexplainable and hard to talk to with people and the worst part is that it gives you too much time with your own thoughts and the negative thoughts always seem to win
@jenkathefridge3933 9 ай бұрын
You need to learn how to create boundaries with your negative feelings
@sampson9115 8 ай бұрын
@@jenkathefridge3933 I’ll definitely take that into consideration 👍
@Shaolin91z 8 ай бұрын
Thanks Lord for your peace Thanks Lord for your salvation
@kailuuu 6 ай бұрын
You explained my whole existence
@chase5436 5 ай бұрын
@@jenkathefridge3933 That and workout those positive thoughts like you do muscles. Sometimes it feels "stupid" to challenge negative thoughts and affirm yourself, but that's because you probably haven't been doing it as much, or at all. Keep at it, and you'll grow the connections between your neurons eventually until positivity becomes almost automatic. Like going to the gym the first time, you're going to be weak and uncoordinated because those muscles are weak and the neuronal connections telling them how to move haven't been stimulated in that way before. Patience, discipline, and time will lead to a stronger body in many ways.
@YessBlack 4 ай бұрын
I am an introvert and have social anxiety. I don't have friends and life is so hard when you don't have anyone to talk to about how you feel or how they feel or share things that you both like, it's so hard to stay alive without friends. I wish I had friends.
@katec9893 3 ай бұрын
I relate to that but I think if you keep telling yourself you're an introvert with social anxiety it can keep you stuck and not trying to overcome it to make friends so maybe try describing yourself in a more positive light ie 'I'm a librarian who loves plants and hiking in nature' or whatever your hobbies and interests are. I had cbt for social anxiety which helped a lot so its not something that is destined to be permanently debilitating. Lots of introverts are valued as friends because we tend to be more calm, quiet, thoughtful, wise, intelligent, caring and fun once people get to know us. I know I value introvert friends just as much as extrovert friends in fact I prefer them as I can relate to them more and we enjoy similar activities.
@user-rm7pe4rr6o 3 ай бұрын
I relate to your comment so deeply, I'm an introvert too with social anxiety and I feel your pain, I'd also like to let you know I'm your friend now lol :)
@derguteste3169 3 ай бұрын
same here all the best of luck bro❤
@migueldavidllanocarmona1594 2 ай бұрын
where do you live, buddy? In case you live in Múnich, lets get in contact and be friends. If not, no problem and keep up, you will find your friend soon!
@justinfung4351 2 ай бұрын
Interesting thing is that in telling yourself this,, you end up reaching out less, which just looks like disinterest to other people.
@bin2hellnbak Жыл бұрын
It's such an irony that the social media was meant to bring us closer together yet we've never felt so far apart since it's creation.
@Fr00stee Жыл бұрын
it kills all of your communication skills even though that is what it was designed to facilitate
@dirkauditore8413 Жыл бұрын
But Kurzgezagt exists bc of social media ;) there's some positives.
@Fr00stee Жыл бұрын
@@dirkauditore8413 youtube isnt really social media, its a video viewing platform where you happen to be able to talk to other random people in the comments
@chandrawangsa7796 Жыл бұрын
the "old" social media like friendster, facebook, myspace was the one that really makes connecting to each other easier than before, but since some social media like instagram and tiktok "fed" us with their "explore" section, we lost that thing. "Explore" section was really make us craving for content and distract us from what is the real purpose of social media
@LafemmebearMusic Жыл бұрын
@@Fr00stee it’s social media … yes that’s what you just described 🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
@Maxybro Жыл бұрын
A wise man once said: "It's ok to be alone, but not ok to be lonely"
@medievalcatguy6776 Жыл бұрын
Very true
@Linkwii64 Жыл бұрын
Ask a master Buddha monk. They go to meditate and die alone while still meditated.
@mentalbreakgaming3102 Жыл бұрын
An even wiser man once said "Its dangerous to go alone take this"
@zyansheep Жыл бұрын
@@mentalbreakgaming3102 now he was a truly wise man :)
@somedudeontheinternet5213 Жыл бұрын
Absolute facts
@sya_7489 2 ай бұрын
"You have less friend than you realize" my brother in christ I had no friends, like literally none.
@regieta213 8 күн бұрын
Lol me too
@Alakei-vu5wo 3 күн бұрын
Hahahaha apparentely at least 60 people are in the same situation as you
@Psychopatz 2 күн бұрын
Now you have one now, Hello friend :)
@inferlazeboi 9 сағат бұрын
@@Psychopatz I wish it was that simple 😭
@samprowell8946 10 ай бұрын
Anyone ever feel that even when you do all the steps you can, no one hangs around for long? It makes me feel like I’m the problem and I can’t figure out why
@Killbayne 5 ай бұрын
I've made 4 friends from my class during 10th grade because we all share the same dumb humor, and although one of them said "we should stay friends after graduation", it for some reason never worked out. We only ever shared some funny tiktoks to eachother which also stopped soon after. Our previous teachers then arranged a bowling party 1 year after the graduation which only half of us could attend. It was nice seeing, talking and laughing with them again and I thought for sure we would now do stuff more. I texted them multiple times. "Yo, it's Friday the 13th, yall wanna go out and do some dumb stuff tonight?" all decline I add them on other platforms, no messages "Yo, we should go watch this movie together!" -"yeah, I'll see if I can next thursday!" 4 weeks later i messaged them every week "can we go this week?" and it was always "nope" last week I texted one about the gta 6 trailer hoping for some conversation all I got was a "yeah im excited" I can understand if they don't have time or don't necessarily wanna talk right now but I just don't get why we don't do anything anymore. I literally have no one else. I just feel like I'm the problem somehow
@smileypaper5589 4 ай бұрын
Bozo
@jrod19437 4 ай бұрын
yes, sometimes it’s just about patience and finding the right people who connect and relate to you it can be tough
@promemes 4 ай бұрын
Social etiquette and cultural awareness help. Most often they go unspoken nor were taught - unfortunately. Being nice but out of these two context will go unappreciated. May this year be a better and fantastic year for you! 🎉
@user-rm7pe4rr6o 3 ай бұрын
you're, not the problem it simply wasn't meant to be, keep trying you will find people who you deserve and who appreciate you :)
@gamerrrdude4405 Жыл бұрын
The fact that this is currently trending really says a lot about the internet’s general audience. I’m with you, dudes!
@koruto721 Жыл бұрын
yeah, everyone feels super isolated and unique especially after the remoteness of the pandemic, but honestly were all pretty similar. a lot of people just assume their worthlessness in a relationship before even trying to talk to people.
@BlueZirnitra Жыл бұрын
Isn't Kurzgesagt always trending? One of the most influential channels on KZfaq..
@noahfriedrich4686 Жыл бұрын
Well also Kurzgesagt videos usually top 10 in trending when they are released regardless of content
@hehloworld4841 Жыл бұрын
It's recently hit off, someone should probably figure out why...
@hehloworld4841 Жыл бұрын
Sorry I thought this was the lonliness video, my bad
@Ara_Arasaka Жыл бұрын
"There is never only one person losing a friend, there is always, at least two." That hit me in the back of the head. Hard. Damn.
@JakeTheBikerDude Жыл бұрын
I know how that feels seeing how I had that happen to me online with many of the friends i made online
@ethanhilot7977 Жыл бұрын
same
@mrdeepwebinsider2197 Жыл бұрын
In my case.. i think people wanna be friends with me because of financial and sexual porpoises.. its kind boring and tiring. Loneliness is a much better than a bad company.
@yungblattt Жыл бұрын
Yur I make entertaining videos as well
@jasonzhao4686 Жыл бұрын
Why can't they make friends?
@tateornator3654 7 ай бұрын
Ur never too old, akward, or weird to have friends. There will always be someone in the world who wants to be close to you, sometimes you just have to be willing to give some effort
@daniel-johnson_dam 2 ай бұрын
Bullshit
@geekgroupie42 Ай бұрын
@@daniel-johnson_dam it's true! no hat!
@kka_1 Ай бұрын
Nope, it's not always about effort, I've put a lot of effort in the past to try and make friends but in the end they all just went out of my life anyways. Shit happens.
@AnhNguyen-hr1ps 18 күн бұрын
@@daniel-johnson_damyou do know that 4 year olds are probably watching dis right? And seeing ur comment… 💀
@carrad123456 8 ай бұрын
For a sensitive empath an observant at heart, it is way too difficult to form friendship outside school, college and work where we are naturally together•
@kushclarkkent6669 8 ай бұрын
So relatable. I've never formed a single relationship outside of those settings :/
@carrad123456 8 ай бұрын
@@kushclarkkent6669 yes it is tough •
@b.3824 7 ай бұрын
So true 💕 Proximity plays a crucial role but then again not everyone share the same mindset
@beatblastdeath Ай бұрын
Same here.
@carrad123456 Ай бұрын
@@b.3824 yes that is another blocker :)
@cocoacoconuts24 Жыл бұрын
Another helpful tip is establishing regularity. I think a lot of adult friendships fall into a “Let’s catch up once or twice a year whenever one of us feels like taking the huge initiative to contact the other,” when instead it could be “Let’s chat/grab dinner/play video games/etc every Friday/once a month/etc.” Having a regular thing that you can count on and look forward to does WONDERS in relieving your loneliness, not to mention your friendship and overall happiness.
@purplegirl1083 Жыл бұрын
This is so true, my friendships have improved so much when we choose to meet every week to watch a show
@Etianen7 Жыл бұрын
What do you do if you attempt that, but everyone says they're busy and you never end up schedulling anything (or you schedule it but people say they can't make it later)?
@vortexshift5146 Жыл бұрын
@@Etianen7 Confirm everyone's schedules, and find a time that works best for all. If there is not enough committment from everyone to follow through with that, then find others to consistently hang out with. You can still be friends with the ones who don't show up though, and either side can stop by once in a while just to say hi.
@purplegirl1083 Жыл бұрын
@@Etianen7 For me I tried to prioritize friends that also prioritize me. So if you cannot achieve that with a bigger group of people maybe try to find a smaller group of people/a couple of people within that group to meet with regularly.
@keitaro3660 Жыл бұрын
Yea, online gaming together is also a way to connect right?
@BangMaster96 Жыл бұрын
Sometimes, there is a huge battle of ego. Like "why should I be the one to reach out and make plans all the time, why can't the other person do it too", or "well that person hasn't contacted me in a long time, so why should I contact them", etc. Making friends would be easier if both parties put in the same amount of effort into building the friendship.
@silvij4416 Жыл бұрын
Agree, some people are also busy and might have different schedules besides that most people unless they're very extroverted already have a group of friends they hang out with often and will probably not pay much attention to meeting new people specially when they're a little bit older because it is more practical.
@yakb.7690 Жыл бұрын
@@silvij4416 this. I feel like the video gravely overestimates how many people actually seek out new friendships. Probably 70% of people have friend groups already and will not invest much energy into getting to know new ones or even maintaining friendships with people that moved away.
@selentia404 Жыл бұрын
sometimes people think that they dont want them included, maybe reaching out to those people would be a good idea
@___echo___ Жыл бұрын
Tbh I'm usually the other end, because I'm introverted, and find it hard to take initiative I think its much harder for some than others to reach out and make plans, be it fear of rejection, think their ideas for hanging out arent great, or that there is no reason to because their own friends are always reaching out to them
@Bigzthegreat Жыл бұрын
i've never thought it that way
@Secret_Takodachi 8 ай бұрын
Joining a yoga/pilates studio did wonders for me physically, mentally & socially. As a guy I wish I had been more open-minded and willing to try this sooner! ❤ But hey 32 is far from "too late" and I'm already practicing inversions! Not bad for only being at it for 4 months!
@Happy_Girl_101. Ай бұрын
How many friends did you made? :)
@woodykusaki9970 9 ай бұрын
Typically, when people/old friendships reach out to me, it's almost always because they need something. Like a networking scheme or something.
@djungelskog3434 Жыл бұрын
Just a note I'd like to leave: you don't need many friends to feel like you're not alone, sometimes having a small, tightly knit group of friends you can count on is enough to keep you going!
@Sephiroth144 Жыл бұрын
You want quality over quantity with friends; sure, have plenty of acquaintances, but without a few good friends, you're just spinning your wheels.
@SubmittedAndReadable Жыл бұрын
Possibly one of the most true comments I have ever read. This truly is wisdom from the God Djungelskog himself
@notmo. Жыл бұрын
while this is true though, many don't even have a few or even just one.
@noobinator9854 Жыл бұрын
I agree
@commiechar Жыл бұрын
blahaj better
@burieddreamer Жыл бұрын
I am an immigrant. What I've noticed is that the natives tend to have circle of friends that were formed during school and college times. These people are really not invested into the idea of making new friends. The same way, I noticed that the physical distance makes people uninterested in keeping in touch after a few years and I've lost many friends I had in my original country. Another element that makes life difficult is to have to work 8 hours a day. No one really wants to hang out afterwards and people often prefer to stay home. Keeping friends like that is a full time job!
@sickna-sty3244 Жыл бұрын
Same brother, I can double that. Came to Canada when I was 12 so middle school as an immigrant and even at that point everyone had a group so no one even wanted to talk to me really. I also applied extra difficulty addons including: - Not knowing English fluently - Shit home situation - Garbage school teachers (gets you bullied) A while later and now I'm about to graduate with a bachelor's in computer science next year 🤔so I'm working things out. However, even tho I'm the leader of my university's esports club I still don't really get people sticking around cause pandemic changed campus interactions; killing them. Although, I am thankful for the people that continue to support me and the club, those are some real ones. Anyhow, if you're not in the best of times at the moment do remember that good times will come. When those good times come you'll know why the struggle is worth. Thank you for your time, stay safe and godspeed.
@theliberation9061 Жыл бұрын
This. Also the "school and college times" part seems to be a massive factor, part of the reason why I decided to move abroad was feeling I had nothing to lose due to very few friends in my "home" country to begin with (school and university were awful and horrific for me, respectively), then... experienced pretty much what you said. Recovering from a crappy childhood/early youth is harder in this regard than people make it sound even if on paper your life seems okay.
@bojangles5623 Жыл бұрын
Those people with intact schoolfriend groups? Just consider them 'taken', like as if you were dating lol. They don't have time for new people, they're already fully booked. But don't be too down, because in any major city you'll find a lot of people who are from elsewhere in the country, and they are in a very similar position to immigrants (because they're regional immigrants). This is my observation from Toronto, most of the Canadian friends I make here are not from the city.
@sickna-sty3244 Жыл бұрын
@@bojangles5623 the only thing I can back up is the international thing. Half my university is international students and by the way those guys give no fks about making friends here, most of the time they fly back and cut connections or have other friends abroad. No one comes to Toronto to make friends man, no one should honestly. Cursed city.
@wren_. Жыл бұрын
I definitely agree with you. My dad was active duty military during my childhood, so it was near impossible to maintain friendships. Any friends I did have I would have to leave behind within three years. we’d try our best to reach out, but eventually one or the other just, stopped texting back.
@rphb5870 Ай бұрын
"you feel lonely because you don't have any friends." wow that's insigtful
@Tommy_007 Ай бұрын
I had to subscribe after that...
@shdowunit4 6 ай бұрын
i will definatly vouch for the hobby store one. i got into a tcg and started going to a card shop for the weekly tournaments. it was no time at all before saturdays were the best days for me, and i (even as an introvert) was goofing around with 30+ people, or sharing car rides/gas out of town for regionals, chatting about builds, cards, meta, etc. unfortunatly i fell out of the game, and see them all almost none now. i did drop back in the shop after several years, and immidiatly after walking through the door, everyone called my name excitedly. i miss the game almost entierly because i miss them all
@shdowunit4 6 ай бұрын
biggest reason was money. it got really expensive to play competitively, with very little, if any, return on the investment.
@SlippinJimmy4Life Жыл бұрын
I don’t feel like I want “more friends” I feel like I want to be able to express myself genuinely and have more authentic connection. “Having friends” means nothing if it is not on your own terms. Often it is autopilot or out of security or convenience or whatever.
@rodiquart Жыл бұрын
This.
@selenathesparklycabbage Жыл бұрын
No cuz this.
@Diamond-rl2on Жыл бұрын
This
@haris1304 Жыл бұрын
fr
@SlippinJimmy4Life Жыл бұрын
@@human-ft3wk HR gets offended for one, and also most people just don't have the same interests, finding a good friend is rare
@tylerstevens1904 Жыл бұрын
The thing about friendships is that the older you get the harder it seems to make natural connections. You graduate school, move to a new city, and you don't know anyone. This is a great video with solid examples for everyone out there, especially post-COVID. Best of luck to everyone out there.
@yungblattt Жыл бұрын
I make entertaining videos as well🙏
@dosadoodle Жыл бұрын
Religious institutions (e.g. churches) have often been a natural community to plug into. But for many of us who are atheist, agnostic, or simply not interested in organized religion, that common option isn't available. As a guy in his late 30s in a new city who works remotely, I find making new friends has already become difficult. One option I'm thinking about is finding volunteer activities that are important to me. Maybe some of that will help start friendships, but worst case, I still would get some social time while helping better the world.
@eugenejamesbon4355 Жыл бұрын
thx!
@daniel4647 Жыл бұрын
I don't have friends. I have a couple of people I talk with regularly, but I'd rather not talk with them, just feel like I have to. I assume this is what having friends means, but why do you guys want that? They require constant attention and there is no reward. It's just shallow superficial chit chat about meaningless nonsense and being made to watch movies and shows you don't really care about. And on top of that you have to listen to them complain about the most inane things. And if you try to talk to them about something actually interesting they don't understand it anyway. I'm telling you guys, in my nearly 40 years on this planet I've discovered that friends are completely useless. They don't make life better or more fun, you don't feel better after hanging out with them, it's literally only useful if you lived in the stone age and needed someone to sit watch while you sleep, which I don't.
@YounesLayachi Жыл бұрын
Perfect opportunity for a fresh new start
@kateisblue Жыл бұрын
Big tip for making work, school acquaintances etc into friends - bring snacks! Itll give people a natural reason to approach you, express their appreciation, something to talk about, and the impulse to further deepen the relationship and reciprocate.
@AEsdadsvaL25230 5 ай бұрын
Oooh snacks is good. Easy way to also start a convo in class. Pop open some trail mix and ask if they want any. I love that idea, I’m gonna steal it. Cause I feel like the opening line is always the hardest
@poisonapleproduction 4 ай бұрын
That’s a great idea
@bakonphat 10 ай бұрын
As much as I want to have people in my life. Reaching out and socializing is more exhausting than the most physical activities i can perform
@MSOTV-ug4ln 10 ай бұрын
same
@ludoviajante Жыл бұрын
I just wanted to say that I feel lucky to have content like this freely accessible on the internet. You guys rock! Much love from Brazil.
@alifarukyucel Жыл бұрын
I totally agree, we're very lucky to have you folks.
@zuzakurowska8665 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for writing this comment! I'm learning Portuguese BR and I'm looking for different interesting sources of it, your channel looks amazing and I'll definitely be checking it out!
@JohnyHubertt Жыл бұрын
Thiago!!
@zuzakurowska8665 Жыл бұрын
@@koowie_4188 Thank you so much for your suggestions, I'll be checking them out! :)
@arthurzuin7704 Жыл бұрын
Mais um por aqui?
@aliram2972 Жыл бұрын
“It’s never just one person losing a friend” that made me so sad
@barbara_LL Жыл бұрын
i am literally sobbing because of that one sentence🤡🤡
@SammyxSweetheart.02 Жыл бұрын
4:32
@Declanjhoulgrave Жыл бұрын
*I have felt the pain of that being true trust me*
@WolfyRed 11 ай бұрын
@@barbara_LL what u adding the clown emojis for ?
@WolfyRed 11 ай бұрын
@@Declanjhoulgrave If you are an alphabet lore accent letter, you are a unique letter. You should have a big long nose for that -D- , or something
@dreamlife4414 8 ай бұрын
Thanks for the advice, but honestly I think I’m a lost cause. I used to be the one who always got people together, sent invitations, reached out…only for me to be left out after a while and left for other people and ignored. I’m so tired of always taking initiative and never getting anything back in return
@carrad123456 8 ай бұрын
Stop then , for too good people testing is more there, choose hobbies
@b.3824 7 ай бұрын
Making efforts is something I did too. It just feels exhausting at this point
@yessejaz3062 7 ай бұрын
If you had to search for this video instead of it being trending im with you 😢
@TUVEZ- Ай бұрын
Can we be friends
@minato8704 Ай бұрын
@@TUVEZ- Wow amazing reply!!!!
@NYKIRA Жыл бұрын
"It's never only one person losing a friendship it's always at least two". This point is so powerful, yet easily overlooked. Great video!
@LuisSierra42 Жыл бұрын
I'm generally that guy that people really don't remember so when i lose a friend, i lose a friend but my friend will forget about me almost immediately
@IconicResemblance Жыл бұрын
@@LuisSierra42 Im sorry to hear that but you also have to understand that sometimes its hard to look after every friend you have, some of us have jobs, family problems or just simply too many friends, I lost around 20 friends just because i didn't had enough time for them, trust me...It hurts us more than it hurts you, the feeling of guiltiness.
@huyked Жыл бұрын
@@LuisSierra42 I would say we really don't know if we are remembered by others, or not, because we can't read minds. Perhaps they don't remember and think of you, you just don't know it.
@LuisSierra42 Жыл бұрын
@@huyked People have told me to my face that i'm pretty forgettable and sometimes when i'm in large groups of people i truly feel invisible and then people rarely remember whether i was at that place
@hoogreen Жыл бұрын
@@LuisSierra42 you dont have to be in large groups, all you need is to find one person who can relate to you and work your way up
@cdogthehedgehog6923 Жыл бұрын
"Worst case, it'll sting for a few hours." No, worst case is looking up videos like these in my late 20s.
@LMAODOODZ 4 ай бұрын
I'm 39 and saw this on Twitter.
@travellinmike4333 3 ай бұрын
59 and can honestly say I've never had a friend. Acquaintances yes. Coworkers yes. Wife yes. But never friends in the way this video is talking about.
@spin4team4096 3 ай бұрын
@@travellinmike4333 Sad 😢
@gg_pearl3889 3 ай бұрын
im here for u bud @@travellinmike4333
@NguyenMinh792 3 ай бұрын
@@travellinmike4333 I can relate
@LaurenSophie1989 3 ай бұрын
I wish I had more friends who share my interests, like books, theater and museums.
@cosygoose1813 3 ай бұрын
Then go to a theaterz library and museums.
@melissalai8173 11 ай бұрын
This is sooo helpful and encouraging, thank you!! I’m a recent college grad, and having moved back home and away from college friends, I’ve been feeling isolated and honestly a bit hopeless. I love that this video gave such clear examples and actions to take 💖
@Chuntise Жыл бұрын
As someone who didn’t make friends until well after becoming an adult, I’ve learned adults make making friends so much harder than it needs to be. People seem uncomfortable with my kid-like approach of directly talking to them and inviting them out rather than playing the delicate social dance. My whole life I’ve felt like a robot learning how to be human. It took me until my mid-30s to learn how to develop relationships outside my family and romantic partner. Pretty much everything in this video I had to research like an anthropologist. Now that it comes more naturally to me, I feel less drained in social situations to the point that I now describe myself as an ambivert instead of an introvert.
@terminatedaccount8198 Жыл бұрын
damn i really resonate with the kid-like thing. i hate how boring people are now. i constantly feel looked down on by my peers for having a kid-like happiness
@ruffusgoodman4137 Жыл бұрын
If you think you had it bad, imagine how Mark Zuckerberg felt when he first arrived Earth. He created an entire cyber platform social media trying to make new friends. And failed.
@kepler656 Жыл бұрын
Ah, autism.
@terminatedaccount8198 Жыл бұрын
@@kepler656 i don’t even have autism, i just think adults are generally boring assholes. i will say though i do tend to attract adhd/autistic ppl into my life
@Sky4Jus Жыл бұрын
Romance is bs. That's why you failed. Simple as that. Now friendships, you don't need them mate
@calumhughes2778 Жыл бұрын
I think the greatest effect of the pandemics on my social life is the destruction of the “second ring”. First ring friends are my best friends, people I’ve known for years and spend time online and irl with regularly. These people I kept in touch with over lockdowns online gaming, zoom calls, messaging, watching movies together. But the second ring friends “that guy at your gym” “the girl you run into at flat parties” “the couple you go rock climbing with” those are all gone. We stopped going to places and so lost the people who went there too.
@BladeR2049 Жыл бұрын
Brilliant observation
@mastermindd Жыл бұрын
Wait, you had first ring friends...? Oh
@VivianaSilverback Жыл бұрын
I've always been a second (or even third) ring "friend" so i got ghosted by everyone lmao-
@BladeR2049 Жыл бұрын
@@VivianaSilverback 😆
@BarafuAlbino Жыл бұрын
@@VivianaSilverback Hey, if you want, lets chat about some nonsense. I am really bored too. (youtube ate my comment, this is a copy).
@Writercatloverbakonn Жыл бұрын
I needed this. It's hard to think about it but you never really know when you need something until it comes to you. And this video came to me. And it impacted me... and is impacting others. I love this 😭🥰
@burieddreamer Жыл бұрын
There is a difference between having casual friends and real friends. I think real friends are those who will visit you in the hospital if you are injured and will pro-actively invite you to something to cheer you up when things are tough. Casual friends just can't be bothered. They have their own stuff to do and other priorities. It's very hard and very rare to find real friends, and unfortunately I don't have any, after years of trying to cultivate friendships, they simply crumble too easily.
@Rahul_Sastry Жыл бұрын
I have only one such freind And he has a amazing social circle and still makes time for me
@DocAcher Жыл бұрын
I totally get what you mean. I moved to a new place for work, have almost no living family who know me, and my family that I do have have no connections... so it's been easy to make casual friends in the new place I live, but much, much harder to make friends with people who already have their friend groups deeply established.
@kailashnathan3609 Жыл бұрын
@@Rahul_Sastry so when he's got a big social circle and then there's you, who's got just him, doesn't it feel like you are just a part of his attention, while you give all your attention to him?
@Rahul_Sastry Жыл бұрын
@@kailashnathan3609 well it's not just him tho I have a smaller social circle. Not as big as him he is my best friend and I know him from childhood.
@bonnie_rabbit749 Жыл бұрын
I feel you! Im in the same boat. I get so jelous when i see other people having loyal friends who would do anything for them and i cant even get emotional support from anyone in my life because they would just answer something short like “oh im sorry”… like thank you but thats not helping.
@m1lk0meda Жыл бұрын
Ironically playing the sims as a introverted kid taught me that relationships need to be built in short and long term; consistent interactions in the short term bar build up the long lasting bar of shared experiences that drains much more slowly. Personally I remember every single friend I've loved but fallen out of practice with over the years. If they ever showed up at my door needing help I would do it. I sometimes wonder if they would do the same.
@YeeHaww Жыл бұрын
Right there are people I get along with very quickly and there is one that take forever to get along with and actually become friends
@MegaUtobe Жыл бұрын
I think I saw a TikTok on this. Your friends may have the same thoughts. Maybe try reaching and having a conversation about how both of yall feel.
@MrSandManGiveMeADream Жыл бұрын
you can also get a girlfriend with couple of jokes and a few small talks in sims. it is not very accurate lol. i thought the same. but i realized how it made me more needy. it was not a great idea to deal with relationships like video games. specially to imagine people have a gauge that i had to do stuff for them to become my friends.
@davidjennings2179 Жыл бұрын
If everyone is sat inside thinking "if they show up at my door I'd help them" no one will actually leave to knock on any doors. Sometimes being proactive is the best help you can give - is hard and scary...but you're the one taking that on instead of them, you started helping already.
@nivyan Жыл бұрын
The cool part is that it's equally 'a chore' - as in relationships needs to be taken care of or be lost. Focusing on learning a skill or romancing someone means you'll have a harder time fitting in friends. The Sims 4 introduced Clubs, which work a lot like friend circles - even rewarding perks that boost moods and skill gains. If you're socially awkward and scared to reach out - it's a good testing ground. Go play with it introverts! You're my favourite friends as an extrovert ❤
@studygirl6655 10 ай бұрын
It's incredible how I never realised this was the problem. This is the greatest advice I've taken this year. Thank you very much!
@nicky9589 Жыл бұрын
As a lonely man at 41 years old, a farmer and not really interested in todays society, i miss my friends in my 20's and 30's. They all habe families and moved on. I still am single, and not really a fan of pubs and clubs... so finding company is difficult. This was a great vid. Thankyou
@tdan89 Жыл бұрын
hang in there... :). i know it can be tough..
@tzimiable Жыл бұрын
This is one of the big problems, when your friends start a family and you dont. It leaves you in very different places. I am in the same boat, but luckily I have a wife. We wont have children, which makes us an outlier, and its even worse for her to make more friends because the ONLY thing on the mind of women her age seems to be children.
@iloveprivacy8167 Жыл бұрын
Take comfort: The number of lonely 41-year-olds who "like" your comment is not zero. We're all in this together, even if totally in the dark & unaware of each other.
@mondaymotivator_ Жыл бұрын
@@tdan89 kind words are not going to help him get out of it
@mondaymotivator_ Жыл бұрын
I’m sorry to hear your case. I’ll be blunt, but kind words will not help you get better. I can’t help you. Only you can help yourself
@ianfullerton1 Жыл бұрын
Last year I went through my contacts list and reached out to everyone I hadn't talk to in a while. A considerable number shared with me that they were feeling extremely lonely and isolated. Some were really struggling to make it through their days. I think we are seeing these feelings proliferating in profoundly novel ways. Social media may be to blame, but I think it is more existential than that. People are experiencing less positive thought and happiness, and hope is less accessible. We need ways to reconnect to ourselves and those around us.
@sarahnelson8836 Жыл бұрын
I’ve done a similar thing, but I found an opposite result. Many people that I had known were content with their social lives- having joined book clubs etc around them. And they were what I’d consider realistic (I mean come on active transmission of polio alone is enough to make one terrified and angry) but they were also hopeful and motivated to create positive change (or already doing it). That being said they were all still happy to hear from me and it rekindled a few friendships! Especially because some of them lived close by these days.
@peterbelanger4094 Жыл бұрын
@@sarahnelson8836 The two groups exist, but will have nothing to do with each other. The 'happy', 'positive' people avoid the lonely, 'miserable' people. and vice versa. Sadly, when someone is in a negative space in life, they are difficult to approach and may need reminding that there are good things. but people are too afraid of 'toxic' people and getting 'dragged down' by negativity. People will be patient with an existing friend who is depressed, but will not start a new friendship with a depressed person. So if someone is lonely and depressed with very few to no friends, it is very hard to make new friends. One just comes off 'too negative' and it becomes a black hole nobody will go near.
@AngloImperial Жыл бұрын
Then people probably need to learn more skills in terms of accepting what is out of their control when it comes to being around others. Idk seems like too many people can’t just accept how someone acts, what they do, or how they may perceive certain things. Aside from that, most people are trapped working 5x8 hour days barely making enough to go out and enjoy doing anything. Humanity has a judgement issue of others. It’s sad to see but nothing will change any time soon.
@xxMpEGxx Жыл бұрын
@@AngloImperial "Humanity has a judgement issue": what do you mean?
@sirshrooma Жыл бұрын
@@peterbelanger4094 Like attracts like, and the few exceptions of 'positive' people who are fine with hanging around more depressed or troubled people are often either in a similarly 'negative' stage in their life, or they have some "charity / pity" mindset where they try to inject positivity into someone's life through their association. But yeah other than those examples, those architypes of people don't generally associate on the regular. It makes sense when you think about it, in the same way some people listen to upbeat music when they're happy, but downtempo / emotionally charged music when they're down. It's just easier to fit in around people with similarly positive / negative mindsets.
@jayparker2620 3 ай бұрын
I feel lonely most of the times so I am happy to have so many people in comments. So nice to see that you are not alone and trying your best 😊
@EMILY-xc5ju 9 ай бұрын
one way to form strong friendship is to start acting like you are already frds(not with strangers ofcourse).. they will reciprocate faster. For people like me who have anxiety, we wait around for people to come to us n often hold ourselves back thinking " i m not saying that.. i dont think we are close enough to say that.. " etc. so a key is, dont over analyze, just go with ur instincts. Dont hold urself back.
@TimeBucks Жыл бұрын
This has been the greatest video ever
@misssusmita2502 Жыл бұрын
Very good content
@grapesforallofus Жыл бұрын
Enjoyable one 🕐
@selfieshop99 Жыл бұрын
Very best
@eduardoportugal5818 9 ай бұрын
I love how this videos help all of us understanding the world arround
@Cynsham Жыл бұрын
As someone who has always had a very small group of people that I would genuinely call my "real friends," I think the pandemic hit people like me especially hard. I wasn't ever one of the "popular kids" in school, but I knew a lot of people and was acquaintances with them because we went to school together for years. I've always been a relatively introverted person and mostly a homebody as well, I'm the type who would much rather enjoy playing video games at home while on discord with my friends than go out to a bar and get pissed drunk on a Friday evening. So it was essentially a double whammy for me, I not only lost all of the shared meeting places such as classes, school events, and just seeing people around campus, I've now been physically and emotionally separated from the people I call my "real friends" for a while now too, and it's kinda weighing heavy on me. I went from talking and hanging out with these people on an almost daily basis to nowadays all my friends are pretty significant distances away from me, we've all got school and work and other things to focus on, we rarely even play games together anymore, and our discord calls have gotten more and more infrequent, it's rare for us to talk more than maybe 1 or 2 times a week. It's been weighing on me a lot thinking about the fact that maybe after over 10 years of friendship that maybe me and my friends have just drifted apart. The thought of potentially losing those friends after so long is terrifying, because I've hardly made any genuine connections to new friends in years.
@Unkle_Genny Жыл бұрын
I feel your struggle, man. Going to college three hours and fifteen minutes away from my hometown, where the vast, vast majority of all of the closest friends I’ve made are, has really sucked.
@nasa3209 Жыл бұрын
i relate to you man i would describe myself the same way. i had to move states after graduating high schools and it has not been easy to find people to talk to or just friends… especially nowadays with all that’s going on
@donnyjepp Жыл бұрын
That's the position I find myself in now...40yrs old, lost touch with long time friends without making new ones. Now I don't really have any friends, and I'm not really sure I ever will have. Still find my dog is my best friend.....And I'm okay with that 💪🏴👍
@immkk1125 Жыл бұрын
i feel you, and i went through something similar last year, i even ended up thinking about cutting everyone off instead of painfully waiting for a moment where we’ll be able to meet again, but i’m glad i didn’t. sure most of my friendships aren’t as close as they used to be and i sadly lost a lot of friends too, but i’m slowly getting back to them. i wanna tell you that it’s not too late to try and connect with them again, if some of them don’t want to then you can focus on those who make the effort to maintain the friendship, also being friends doesn’t always mean seeing each other every single day or calling each other every time (just as an example, i see my friends every few months which can be a lot to some but that’s what works for us and i consider them to be my closest friends) all friendships are different, the most important thing is that both/all people are feeling respected, comfortable, safe and appreciated. some friendships don’t last long but that’s okay and i personally think that seeing it like a positive experience instead of a loss, helps with the grief of a past friendship. some may have helped you be the best version of yourself, or some just made you comfortable to be who you are, some may have helped you when things got tough or maybe some of them made you discover a new intrest etc that way you can be excited to get to know new people and learn new things from them. i wish you all the best with your friends and i hope that you’ll feel better about it soon enough. have an amazing day
@TheStardustConspiracy Жыл бұрын
I can totally relate to how you feel, the pandemic hit me in the middle of college and It made realize that I had a lot of acquaintances but very few friends, I used to feel very comfortable making small talk in person but the remote classes cut the little interaction I had and it made me question the way I was conducting my social life, nowadays I’m looking for opportunities to make better connections and not just acquaintances, I hope that you can make new connections.
@eh9344 3 ай бұрын
I used to be wonderful at making friends, never had a shortage of them. That was 4 years ago when I graduated. Now I’m just a 22 year old trying to make it day to day while dealing with that fact that, I am indeed, alone. I try to make friends but, it’s just kinda hard.
@ruturajpol75 6 ай бұрын
At the start of the video I was very low and felt hopeless but as the video progressed, I began to see the whole picture and felt a lot more positive about me and my situation, glad to have taken the decision to watch this video today and Thank YOU!!
@SangoProductions213 Жыл бұрын
The sad part is that for most of our history this was not only completely natural and obvious, but required for survival. And now... it's still required for survival, but we've somehow convinced ourselves, as a society, that we can replace these hard-won connections with others with simple, immediate-gratification machines. Like, nothing in this video is complicated or unexpected. But still it's not something a lot of people actually prioritize, despite having the desire to have friends. (Indeed, prioritizing much of anything beyond the immediate moment has become seemingly impossible for a lot of people.)
@Abelius Жыл бұрын
I agree. But it's not only instant gratification what makes us unprioritize social activities. Also work. Sometimes due to a self imposed deadline that never seems to get done, other times because we've turned our lifestyle a money sink monster, always hungry for more money. Or we're just trying to survive and we can't care less about Maslow's pyramid third level. In my own case it's a bit of everything, but of course that I'd like to have friends. I watch my daughters and I'm jealous.
@alzhanvoidsansado Жыл бұрын
Yes, it has...
@deutschmitpurple2918 Жыл бұрын
I totally agree with you, my friend
@Samantha-vlly Ай бұрын
“There is no right or wrong, only right for you.”
@skidoog Жыл бұрын
Wow this is quite topical for the point I’m at in my life. Depression has made it veryyy hard to reconnect with my friends after being away from them for so long. I essentially have no more friends and am stuck inside all the time. I hope I can once again create new bonds thanks to therapy and personally making an effort to find resources like this vid to push me in the right direction.
@parzival9983 Жыл бұрын
you re not alone . not even close
@IRosamelia Жыл бұрын
You're never alone being lonely 😄
@Sofa-yz5gq Жыл бұрын
ratio
@michaelchildish Жыл бұрын
Recommendations. Carol Dweck Growth Mindset. Then on KZfaq: Uncommon Knowledge UK, Dr Tracey Marks, for professionals' advice. I love the self-help guru Mark Manson's work but he's often too harsh for the overly sensitive to cope with. Einzelganger is a great channel for Philosophy from around the world. On Philosophy, I personally enjoy and have got use out of Alan Watts, Buddhism, Stoicism like Epictetus, Heraclitus, Aurelius, and also, Epicureanism and more. Also a banging quote from a questionable guy from hundreds of years ago: "Never overly rely on anyone, for even your own shadow leaves you in complete darkness" - Ibn Tammiyah.
@Master_Teaz Жыл бұрын
pretty much the same here I'm stuck inside and trying to find old and new friends as now i feel like recently I'm coming out of my depression and now have the mental state to try and make or rekindle social connections, and i hope your depression gets better soon; i know depression isn't easy and especially when no one really gives help like in my case, seek out help from a friend or a professional but don't expect the journey to be quick my depression started 4 years ago and is only now ending and at my age 4 years is over a quarter of my life
@CoinTech327 2 ай бұрын
I just got advice from this guy right here. I really need to think on the positives instead of depression
@siimsisask 11 ай бұрын
Thank you Kurtzgesagt team. This video has given me motivation and a push to invest more time and effort to keeping friend, reaching out to old friend and in general being more open to opportunities to create new connections. Thank you!
@ziqi92 Жыл бұрын
I’m a community college instructor. I’m seeing this in my current class of students. This semester is my first time with students who spent their key teen years online schooling due to the pandemic. I really feel for them. They suffer from severe social anxiety, their math and logic skills are garbage, and they’re woefully underprepared for adult life compared to students from years past. I find myself trying to be a part time therapist in an effort to break through their mental blocks. These young adults need more in-person classroom experiences to develop their own hopes and dreams.
@yourdreams2440 Жыл бұрын
Locking everything down in the world has truly resulted in a socio-cultural disaster
@abdyrobloxer2 Жыл бұрын
Us homeschooled kids: *first time?*
@daviddavidson2357 Жыл бұрын
@Gordy No homeschooling collective? Honestly home schooling seems to be far better than mass media makes it out to be. You are also not necessarily stuck into a factory worker schedule, which is why public schools were invented in the first place.
@abdyrobloxer2 Жыл бұрын
@@daviddavidson2357 trust me as a homeschooler it was my dream to go to public school. You miss out on so many basic skills, plus many parents do a terrible job of actually teaching anything. I feel like I missed my childhood and any chance to develop social skills.
@daviddavidson2357 Жыл бұрын
@@abdyrobloxer2 I went to public (well Catholic but basically the same thing) school and I dreamt of being home schooled. No need to get up at 8am, which is really bad developmentally for adolescents as their circadian rhythm is different, school schedules were built around turn of the 20th century factory schedules as that was the intent of public schooling back in the late 1800s to early 1900s. No need to ask to take a leak. No need to wear a uniform. Could work at my own pace. Public schooling is designed to crush the spirit of young people, force uniformity and obedience based on factory models. Honestly getting out of a classroom environment and doing distance learning has benefitted me greatly, not just educationally but also socially. Made good friends even if we just spoke via email until we met up in person. I guess people are just different.
@Brisbae Жыл бұрын
I’ve done everything in this video but am still chronically lonely. Joined groups, tried to hang out with colleagues, hosted parties and meetups, never turn down the rare invitation. I’ve really tried, but I still feel completely alone. I don’t think I’ve ever had a reciprocal relationship. If I want to see a friend, it’s always me reaching out. It’s led me to a very dark place mentally. I feel like a failure, a screw up. I feel like I’m too different for anyone to like me, but I can’t pinpoint specifically in what way. I feel like I’m the perfect combination of vices to make a definitively unlovable person. I’m sorry if I sound like a mope or attention seeker - that is not my intention, but this is honestly how I feel.
@icedcat4021 Жыл бұрын
In the end it's just luck whether you find someone you can be close friends with. Keep trying and maybe the next time, the odds will be in your favour.
@tomhall3555 Жыл бұрын
Try to match the tone of others during conversations. Even if you feel they are not the type of people you see your future self hanging out with, they can still be used as stepping stones for meaningful friendships down the line. If you are seen to be more “popular” (with people you may not necessarily gel with), this may attract others who you may potentially get on well with who are in a similar predicament to you now. But remember no one is perfect so never write someone off completely. It may just take more time together to figure out.
@henkondemand Жыл бұрын
Other won't like being with you if you don't like yourself and walk around carrying that insecurity around trying to find people to elevate that fear. That's the reason why you are always the one reaching out, people will reach out to you if they feel you are a positive addition to their day in some way. Being with someone who is insecure is draining. Start to work on yourself, work on getting healthier (this will help your mental state a lot) and getting into things that interest you. Start out small and take small steps. In time you will become a more complete human being and you will find others are drawn to you and you will have a much better and easier time building relationships.
@altikirkbes Жыл бұрын
toxic people
@lucadesanctis563 Жыл бұрын
Same. Attended Kung Fu class or gym while trying to socialize at university after being treated like the village clown in high school and I ended up alone.. Again. I'm glad that loneliness kills, this isn't life anymore, just an agonizing death
@g.k.5165 3 ай бұрын
I think 2 is a magic number in relationships! If you are having “just” one close friend everything is so much brighter and the world opens to you! (Like if you are alone it is dangerous to go parties, camping ect alone) But the hard thing is how to find that one friend?
@Jamothepokemonbou 8 ай бұрын
as a person how has been lonely and deppressed i really am grateful for this type of content that can change a persons life
@CannonRushed Жыл бұрын
When I was a kid, I always found it kind of sad that it seemed like my grandparents, who were really awesome and dynamic fun people, didn't have many friends. Now as I get older (approaching 50), I see that this happens to more and more people as life goes on, myself included. When I was in my 20s, I was constantly surrounded by so many different social groups (friends from college, work friends, theatre friends, friends of whatever girl I was dating, rando bar groups) that it was overwhelming at times. But once you have kids and move out to the burbs, your social circle gets smaller as distance sets in--a quick beer at the pub on the corner becomes a planned night out with an uber--and of course, all those friends are moving and having families too. I joked in my 40s that I only see my friends at weddings. Now approaching 50, I mostly see them at funerals or the occasional boys' night out. The interesting thing is that this feels okay to me, natural even. I have of course made new friends out here in the burbs, but they aren't as important to my identity as my friends in my 20s or in college were. I wonder if my grandparents felt the same way.
@shitmandood Жыл бұрын
Surprise!!! You get older, that’s what happens. But you know what? I don’t think it’ll bother you. It’s weird it happens to young ppl though
@brokeandtired Жыл бұрын
As you get older and wiser you shed trash pretending to be friends and curate a circle pf people you can trust, as age further that circle dies or drifts away. Personally I crave isolation....So no friends is ideal.
@yungblattt Жыл бұрын
I make entertaining videos as well🙏
@FalseShepherd Жыл бұрын
@Stuart Little That's usually kind of the "first" approach when meeting people. but in my case since I'm usually the go with the flow type of guy talking to people is actually not as hard plus i don't make things awkward. In my opinion if you want to make the DOWN to earth friends just be yourself as long as you're not Super weird and can communicate and express yourself in a "common sense." kind of way then making these ACTUAL friends is easy.
@PITRIK777love Жыл бұрын
It also seems like car centric suburbs may play a role. Walkable cities make it much easier to stay connected or meet new faces
@ThePS101 Жыл бұрын
I think that one of the MAJOR difficulties of making friends as a POST-college adult is that people their age have moved on to start families and careers. Another big thing is that with how EXPENSIVE it is to rent or buy a home. People would have to overwork just to make ends meet. Another difficulty would be the suburban SPRAWL. Not only are you more isolated by NECESSITY, but for children, they are more isolated. I do NOT blame kids for staying at home all day playing video games.
@barbariandude Жыл бұрын
I watch a lot of Not Just Bikes, and as a European who has lived in capitals his whole life and as a teen was always going around town solo by bus and metro, I am convinced that suburbia is the worst thing to ever happen to US cities. It just seems so ridiculously awful from every angle.
@lefroste6370 Жыл бұрын
suburbs are a plague
@jorikrouwenhorst7220 Жыл бұрын
Definitely Would recomend Not Just Bikes. made a lot more aware of my countries infrastructure.
@mattheweurt26 Жыл бұрын
Yep I'm post college and it's impossible. My old friends don't care to keep in contact or try to do anything and I'm always putting in the effort to get a no. All my coworkers are 15+ years older than I am. No clubs to join. I pretty much only have my brothers to talk to and even they are busy all of the time with girlfriends and work. This video assumes other people are going to want to hangout if you ask lol.
@bumfuzzle717 Жыл бұрын
THIS, ALL OF THIS
@noellaas3787 3 ай бұрын
Take this as a big thank you. A big thank you to every member of your great team for creating all this valuable content for all of us. One of my favorite channels ever
@RoyalLegend1000 Жыл бұрын
07:34 friendship paradox I just save this becomes its good to know guy's what its ok to have few friends, if you have real friends
@johnchessant3012 Жыл бұрын
Fear of rejection has to be one of the biggest hurdles. For me, my anxiety makes it that it's hard to be the one to initiate plans even with my closest friends. So on the flip side, if you have a shy friend who rarely initiates anything but always shows up when you invite them, that must be frustrating but please don't be quick to cut them out of your life!
@MrPoperstoper180 Жыл бұрын
I get denied 95% of the time. I just accept being alone
@geminid8985 Жыл бұрын
I understand you perfectly i have the same anxiety I get anxiety only to talk to my few friends
@kostas374 Жыл бұрын
You brother saved me right now!! I'm talking to a girl who's just like this. I can see and feel that she likes me, but because it's too early she's also very shy about everything, so I have to do the 1st step in most things! BUT she'll then ask me as well a ton of questions back, ONLY if I text first (sometimes if it's "her turn" she'll text me 1st). I think it's not one-sided even if it seems like that...Sometimes tho (given the fact that we've dated for the 1st time before 1 week) I'm anxious she might not feel the same way and end up something one-sided where I'm the one who cares and tries more...But I'll try, given the fact that she might be one of those persons :)
@geminid8985 Жыл бұрын
@@MrPoperstoper180 i understand u but Fortunately I already had one but I was afraid to write to him and during this summer I made friends with a couple of guys from my city. I hope u can get friends
@giggsy9936 Жыл бұрын
At least you have closest friends
@geo_licious Жыл бұрын
"life long friendships that never happened" I felt that. I had just transferred to a Cal State University, and I had a lot of new friends, but we lost contact after Zoom University started. Our bonds were barely forming and broke easily
@deutschmitpurple2918 Жыл бұрын
Do not worry for that
@rakhaanantabaskoro4461 Жыл бұрын
Me too!! It's such a shame..
@SunGodNikaJoyBoy Жыл бұрын
I really feel your pain, This is one major reason people our generation should be fed up and blame the people that have been running our nation into wasting 2 years on something that should've taken less than a year. They completely ruined socialization for people under 25 and there will be cascading consequences for possibly decades
@daviddavidson2357 Жыл бұрын
@@Call_Upon_YAH Your savior got nailed to a tree. Odin is better.
@juicebox5883 Жыл бұрын
@@Call_Upon_YAH do you mind
@Blahblahblahworlds 8 ай бұрын
As someone who has found making friends difficult, I've learned some things which might be helpful: 1. Do things you want to do even if that's by yourself. Life is to short to miss that play whose run ends next week just because you've got no-one to go with. 2. Be proactive in organising things as you smooth the path for others to say yes. Organise the day to hike that trail, or watch that film, or be the dinner party host. 3. Be nice. Be kind. Be positive. Daily though not relentlessly. It'll become part of your character and others will be drawn to you. I hope this helps someone.
@yessejaz3062 7 ай бұрын
It doesn’t help for most situations. When trying to do this people will call you out, in my situation they called me slurs as slave. It doesn’t sound weird in my language. As an example, there are multiple accidents but this is one: someone shot the ball away and they ask for you to pass it because your close to the ball, boom slave and that’s how people will call you for months and after seeing it happen to other people I don’t say their nickname and that’s how I made friends. They figured I’m not an bad person without me being kind. Don’t slur and stay strong
@85supernova175 6 ай бұрын
@@yessejaz3062hey im Looking friend do U Want to be
@HeirofBlood124 6 ай бұрын
I really appreciate this video a lot. I recently just went through a break up with someone I was friends with since middle school. It’s been so so hard to try and create a new friend group, as she and her friends were my own but now it’s harder to spend time with them because they are spending time with her. But this video gives me a sliver of hope, and I’m glad that I have found this so that I can start creating my own friend circle to enjoy life with. Thanks so much!!!
@ponternal Жыл бұрын
The fact this is trending is kind of sad loneliness is such a prevalent thing nowadays. I think technology plays a large role in why many young people feel isolated.
@phaolo6 Жыл бұрын
I'm not too sure about this. Due to my character, I felt way more lonely in the pre-internet past, when there weren't ways to easily connect with other people. Nowadays, thanks to online communities like forums and chatroom, that's more viable. Of course this doesn't exactly translate in real IRL friends, but.. it's better than nothing, at least for me.
@jquiznos2283 Жыл бұрын
possibly. I think if you've already had some level of loneliness, the surge of technology into everyday life in the last couple of decades has not made it any easier.
@noone80968 Жыл бұрын
I'd definitely choose living in a cave than be lonely.
@Nucl34rManiac Жыл бұрын
@@phaolo6 probably a Reddit Mod
@phaolo6 Жыл бұрын
@@Nucl34rManiac uh? I didn't understand
@PyroYeet Жыл бұрын
I am literally realizing that being alone and not having a great social life at all is hurting my mental health and I am about to go to my first year of uni and I was hoping to make friends there. Real friends I can hang out with, talk to and do things with, never had those. This video’s timing is very optimal
@Yoobster Жыл бұрын
its very hard to make friends at school honestly I make way more online.
@raziphaz2219 Жыл бұрын
im going to find your address and force you to join a club youre an utter baffoon if you dont join one
@aurorapavlish-carpenter3978 Жыл бұрын
Uni is the best place to make friends! Go to as many clubs/events as you can, even if you don't know anyone. I focused too much on studying in uni instead of making connections and I ended up with like no friends
@cwg73160 Жыл бұрын
I haven’t watched the video yet but I saw your comment. Lasting connections and friendships happen organically. Actively put yourself in social situations but try not to push yourself too much onto other people. A little goes a long way with meeting people.
@1saamor897 Жыл бұрын
i’m a freshman in college. i commute to school. and idgaf bout making friends. you will always find someone that you will like talking to. well i love my family and I go to church, so that’s probably why I don’t feel lonely.
@VisualRob 2 ай бұрын
I've been feeling very lonely and anxious for some time now. The timing of finding this video was perfect :)
@minhucle9593 Ай бұрын
The pain of my enemies give me much more joy than any friend
@Mr.Cosmo1 Жыл бұрын
I used to be very chatty. I had many friends but after years of bullying my confidence went down, now that I graduated I didn't even realize but my personality has shifted from a open and fun person to a very closed off introverted person cautious of everyone. My sister told me that people are more willing and open then I think, I recently started to talk to this one guy at my work place, small things like sharing memes and small talk here and there. It's really just that, talking to people, being open, and slowly advancing. Another thing is if people don't want to open to you it's better to not try with that person and find someone else. You can't open up someone, only they can do that.
@sunny0042 Жыл бұрын
i'm sorry about your problems with bullying. i can understand how an experience like that can impact a person's life. it's good that things are better for you now
@Biociety Жыл бұрын
Being very closed because of bullying is very relatable to me. But sometimes someone who care and often reaching to the closed person might help the closed person to open, and better their life. Just don't forget to fulfill ourselves need and boundaries.
@Staro69 Жыл бұрын
school does that as well, not just bullying. like imagine failing a test or your final exam that you so desprately worked for. all you'll get is desappointment and pain. (yes from experience i'm in constant pain please help)
@bloomeraklyon5842 Жыл бұрын
I know how that feels kinda but I haven't had a real friend since kindergarten
@alejandrojrjovellar3411 Жыл бұрын
100% my experience in Canada, most people won't show interest esp. if you are not LOCAL
@vanhalen0222 Жыл бұрын
I always thought it was weird how big my friendship group is for someone in their thirties. Looking back we had one guy who put in a huge amount of effort to making sure everyone kept hanging out. Now we're all close like family and I know no matter what happens we'll all be there for each other. If you're in your early 20s be that guy. Put in the effort. Your future self will thank you.
@floriangallus7760 Жыл бұрын
I was that guy for my friends in my early twenties. They're all still friends. They stayed. I moved away. And then again even further. We kept being close friends and seeing each other once a year for years to come. Then things changed. We became more and more estranged, contact got awkward and scarce. Most of them are still pretty close I think. I went a different path. I'm still happy for them.
@vanhalen0222 Жыл бұрын
@@floriangallus7760 you are a guide, you leader others to a treasure you no longer possess. You gave them a gift. Seriously though yeah it gets hard, and depending on how far you are and for how long can make it hard. I lived 3 hours away from group for a couple years and could only make sporadic visits. We had another guy join the army for 4. If your ever in their neck of the woods you should reach out to them. You may find yourself hanging out like nothings changed.
@Hansengineering Жыл бұрын
That guy in my life died. He always said no one would come to his funeral. The number of vehicles carrying the people that did come literally shut down traffic in the area for several hours.
@Afamu Жыл бұрын
@@Hansengineering LMAO seemed like a cool guy, rest in peace
@MegaUtobe Жыл бұрын
WOW! This makes me feel SO HAPPY. I honestly feel it is a bit tough because while you put effort not many others reciprocate that same vibe back. I am glad you found a guy like that. Also, what is it that he had done to create that sort of friendship group?
@Turtlpwr 2 ай бұрын
I’ve moved 26 times and 5 different states since I was 18. I’m 37 now, and I can say that unless I try to keep the relationships alive, I won’t hear from any people - save maybe a couple - every time I moved states or left and moved back. People just don’t remember you unless you are regularly in their lives. I stopped feeling bad for myself and realized that most people just can’t keep things alive unless it’s already in their active, normal life. Is what it is. Although, I will say that the less people i have in my life, the more peace I feel. Kind of prefer it now to be honest. A large friend group isn’t as close as you think it is the moment you leave.
@barbooosa 8 ай бұрын
Sometimes you are choosing the wrong type of people to be friends with. It happened with me for a long long time
@thedapperdolphin1590 Жыл бұрын
I’ve been struggling with this since I graduated college five years ago. It’s really hard to meet people when you don’t have structured time together and the same people constantly being around. It felt like there was always a chance to make a new friend in college, especially on weekend. Shared classes, school events, and radompy bumping into people around campus makes it pretty easy to start a conversation. But I’ve gone years without connecting with a new person since then.
@jonathanodude6660 Жыл бұрын
if you play games, there is likely a community for the game you play. check if your city has tournaments or meet ups etc. if you play sports, joining a local team is basically the same. if you have smaller hobbies like gardening, reading or tastings for coffee or wine for example, there are likely to be local groups for that too. if all else fails, just join a gym and talk to the people there. if you dont play sports, play games, have hobbies that require skill, talent or knowledge, read nor work out at the gym, i have no idea how you spend your time but youll probably struggle to find friends.
@dariusgunter5344 Жыл бұрын
If you play video games start searching for a group that plays your favorite game or go an splay DnD with a local group that's the best places in my opinion, most people there will be probably similar to you if you like these kinds of things.
@nyah_tan Жыл бұрын
Not even at workplace?
@xpinchx Жыл бұрын
This is where social clubs and groups come in... About half my friends are old work friends that I still hang out with on a regular basis, and the other half are from D&D - I joined a group after moving and I'm basically guaranteed to see them at least once a week and sometimes we do stuff on the weekends for birthdays or other life events. These are all friends I made after college and honestly I didn't have that many friends in college. It can be done but it starts with finding people you can regularly meet up with to do something you both enjoy. Board games, hiking, dog parks, hiking, etc. I have a group chat for the local dog park and even though I don't go often it's pretty active and a lot of people meet up multiple times a week. There's opportunities out there just keep looking and don't get discouraged.
@laneythelame Жыл бұрын
Let's connect! Lol
@kentx5660 Жыл бұрын
I literally fell back in to depression because lately, I feel like I always planning and inviting friends to things but hardly see the effort reciprocated back. I moved cross country right before the pandemic and it's been difficult making new friends. Recently I was able to grow my circle but haven't yet found the ones where I feel like could be my best friend. Thanks for making this video and helping me understand the struggles and what I can do to enrich the budding friendships I have
@prod_rero Жыл бұрын
bro i literally feel the same exact way! for a long time no one reciprocated back and i felt as doe they didn’t like me anymore or something was wrong with me sometimes it’s hard to realize they are literally just caught up in their life and even harder not to take it personal but it’s easier said then done cuz i’m still struggling with that. and i also have a circle of people but none of them are what i desire which is a close friend i can hang out with a lot almost everyday. and i had one but he stabbed me in the back so
@deutschmitpurple2918 Жыл бұрын
Me too, my friend
@deutschmitpurple2918 Жыл бұрын
@@prod_reroI am living these problems like you, my friend. You are not alone
@LightbulbTedbear2 Жыл бұрын
I completely understand. I always feel like I'm the one asking my old friends to meet up, and they always have some excuse. I understand it's not personal, but at some point I'll have to decide it's not worth it anymore
@alvarovieira5683 Жыл бұрын
Found myself in the same situation. Built a new group of friends by going to Magic the events
@jorgeeduardovillarrealvall8266 6 ай бұрын
someone to talk about doubts, socialize, but also talk video games, life, horror and life anecdotes
@user-rm7pe4rr6o 3 ай бұрын
HIII i love those things wanna be mates??
@jorgeeduardovillarrealvall8266 3 ай бұрын
@@user-rm7pe4rr6o hello there ,yes friend
@jorgeeduardovillarrealvall8266 3 ай бұрын
@@user-rm7pe4rr6o ok friend 🤙
@Stefan_Wouters Жыл бұрын
As an person with autism, maintaining friendships is so hard. I'm so greatful for the handful that take the initiative, because they know it's scary for me. Being socially awkward does not mean that I hate socializing.
@blufu8727 Жыл бұрын
Indeed. It's better to have trusted friends. It doesn't need to be a lot. You know you can count on them and they know they can count on you. The way you know how. I'm glad you have friends that do. Take care.
@Stefan_Wouters Жыл бұрын
@@blufu8727 💜
@nekonapper Жыл бұрын
@@blufu8727 i like u catman
@blushdog99 Жыл бұрын
Yeah i also have autism and im around people all the time but still have no friends at 23, this video doesnt work for me
@blufu8727 Жыл бұрын
@@blushdog99 Chin up, friend. You'll find them. They'll find you. It's better to have solitude than having fake friends. You'll get hurt in desperation to have them. But also loneliness is not okay. Family and relatives you know can give you the support you need. You gotta take it step by step. Sometimes, take a notch up to meet people if need be but in the pace you're comfortable with. More you meet people, the experience it gives you will help find the right ones. All in due time.
@E1025 Жыл бұрын
Hey Kurzgesagt! I followed your links and found a local meetup that happened Sunday. When the time came around, I wasn't sure if I had the introvert social battery to spend meeting new people. I thought I would reach out to an old friend who I had regrettably let slowly drift from my life. I decided if he didn't respond, I would go to the kurzgesagt meetup. Turns out he was super happy to hear from me, and we spent Sunday evening at a bar having a good time catching up after 6 years :) Thank you for giving me the push!
@LegendaryLlama_ Жыл бұрын
@Kepler 186-F hello
@wazithebbi9155 Жыл бұрын
Yikes imagine needing a KZfaq video to make friends, lol, lmao
@bhushanshetye196 Жыл бұрын
@@wazithebbi9155 your self esteem must be so low, to actually come to a video which is about making friends, and then laugh at the comments on it
@wazithebbi9155 Жыл бұрын
@@bhushanshetye196 I'm not laughing at the comments, I'm laughing at the people making them. There's a big difference you see. To need a KZfaq video to learn how to make friends is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard, and pathetic people are meant to be mocked. I follow their real, factual and important videos, I didn't "come to" anything, I'm already subscribed. While nicely animated and narrated this video was a complete waste of time, meant to coddle literal losers who need to be told how to make friends. I'd make a video to "help" these losers out, but sadly KZfaq takes down videos that encourage suicide.
@Meodoc Жыл бұрын
❤️❤️❤️
@khaledahmed8242 Жыл бұрын
I’ve been dealing with loneliness ever since I was born and especially ever since my dad passed away and I’m only 10 years old.What I’m trying to say is that I really appreciate you making this video.
@JamesOfToya 5 ай бұрын
Great video, but it didn't cover how to deal with people's significantly reduced tolerance towards friends or getting ghosted at the slightest sign of friction.
@BruhVegan 8 ай бұрын
I was depressed in my house for 3 years. I started my yoga classes again. Now I'm physically, mentally and emotionally better. I have friends too
@b.3824 7 ай бұрын
So amazing!
@AnnoyedEchinda Жыл бұрын
I have been watching Kurzgesagt videos for years, and I just have to say how much I love these videos that talk about the importance of personal health. I love the more ridiculous videos about the Earth turning to gold and the various scientific topics about anything from various species of ants to supermassive black holes, but I truly appreciate these videos about the things I can do to just be a better person, both as an individual and a member of society. It is hard not to feel alone, especially in the last two years. Thank you so much for years of amazing quality content that really does help make the world a better place.
@linkly9272 Жыл бұрын
me too! these personal videos have really help me with keeping my head forward and above the water, and keep me optimistic about my situation, life and future.
@buckethead60 Жыл бұрын
100% agree. This channel has managed to keep making better and better videos over time and offer such great advice, all while still being entertaining. This is one of those channels I know I'll still be watching for a very long time.
@febilogi Жыл бұрын
Beautifully said 😁 totally agree!
@yungblattt Жыл бұрын
I make entertaining videos as well🙏
@Thewhiteandorange Жыл бұрын
this.
@juangarcia6473 Жыл бұрын
I remember how much it hurt when the pandemic started. I hadn’t realized how many people I was friends with by proxy. I lost connection to those “central hubs” and was left feeling like there was no one who wanted to be friends with me. The work I’ve been doing on myself over the last 2.5 years has been about no longer relying on a central hub, but building the courage to become one instead.
@henrylo6773 Жыл бұрын
Same, because of this pandemic, Im working from home. I switched jobs to a remote position and Ive been there for half a year but Ive made 0 friends :( Everyone speaks so formally because nobody knows anybody.
@brodyalden Жыл бұрын
Hope you’re both able to find new friends, I fully believe in you.
@ari.9033 Жыл бұрын
Glorify Undefinable, The Answerer or The Stabilizer of Matter Controllers of Body, By eternal Existence rely to Undefinable alone, be Serene and judge by how Matter executes! The Identity can exist in every possibility! Ask guidance and things You can't get to The Answerer, THAT allowed You into this body, THAT gave truth for clean-minded in Subconscious, and avoid numbness! And use wonders Lord of Existence made from Earth, and don't take what is unknown, until You will understand it! Shape Your own makings, and You will be supported! Blessed is Controller of Man united with intuition and subtle joy! That relies to The Originator alone, That chooses by the best, That hears brainwaves and sees eye pixels! The life can be mastered, for rules were made simple to Observant! Don't be fearful of destiny, because We're parts of possibilities, that have freewill with Serenity! By wonders of fat-stores fasting, that cleans everything inside! Forbid high anti-nutrient, PUFA, synthetic food - allow wheatgrass, fruit seeds and ferment food! Trial is what evil awaited and good missed! Universe remains to its original form, and don't change adaptable bodies in ignorance! Challenging are the days of Illusion and a sad burden to anyone that didn't seek independence, no first-cause is miracle-free! Great are the days of Responsibility that nourish the Soul! We have always existed! Everything is possible, You're in this body! Simulation theory is insufficient, and lucid dreams are managed by nutritionally sufficient and aware! The world is created for Observer's favor! Whole Multiverse is in perfection for Purpose! As World ends, it will return! Current place is special by The Stabilizer!
@SirFaceFone Жыл бұрын
Same here but in college. My social skills pretty much went back to zero after more than two years of quarantine/virtual classes. I've slowly rebuilt my friend network but it's just not the same when you don't get to meet them in person.
@Josh-ek9pw Жыл бұрын
@@henrylo6773 I have the same issue! I'm hoping the christmas social changes that for me.
@kevindavis5693 4 ай бұрын
I feel a lot less lonely after getting rid of social media, even though I have no idea what any of my friends are doing most of the time and I don’t usually make an effort to get ahold of anyone. But not having someone’s “life” and opinions force fed down my throat has helped immensely. Also when I do see friends we have way more to catch up on than just asking if we’ve seen what eachother have been up to on Facebook. Conversations are better, people listen more, not sharing every vacation and moment of your life on the internet makes you more interesting to those around you because they don’t know what you’ve been doing. They didn’t vicariously join you on your trip to Europe, they didn’t even know you went until you see them at a party or something. And it’s genuine excitement you get getting to tell them about it and they’re genuinely excited to hear about it.
@Aashishkebab 11 ай бұрын
Something this video doesn't address: if I don't initiate things, literally nobody talks to me.
@GiuliasCookbook Жыл бұрын
I’m crying so hard watching this as I’ve been so lonely for too long… maybe even my whole life. It hurts when it seems like everyone around me has people to hang with and be social meanwhile I’ve got no one except me and sometimes my parents who are generally busy. Kinda feel ashamed writing this as a 30 yo. I’ve been to therapy and nothing helps.
@xxMpEGxx Жыл бұрын
Be gentle to yourself. What did you try already?
@Elemblue2 Жыл бұрын
The hungry dont get fed. For whatever reason, its nearly impossible to make friends until your ok with not having them, and have just decided to go live your life and passions without shame. The decision to be ok with failure, can lead to success.
@hugrid9647 Жыл бұрын
reminds me of cptsd, life is tough for some, but you're making a big progress by just talking about it. Venting online is a good way of finding people who have the same struggles as you and with whom you might eventually become friends. Try digging more, maybe some forums, I'm sure you'll find somebody if you enter a community. Wishing you luck
@martino836 Жыл бұрын
How you doing?
@feeltheeffect85 Жыл бұрын
Same. I used to go to events but end up just sitting in the corner as I’m too shy. I have family but no real friends.
@OfficiallySnek Жыл бұрын
Jeez, Kurzgesagt really does know their audience
@chefharold7144 Жыл бұрын
Called out
@briana3186 Жыл бұрын
Yeah, even had a Parliament poster on the wall. I mean, I don't have one but wish I did.
@jaypaint4855 Жыл бұрын
Yeahhhhhhh
@tropicfanta6213 2 ай бұрын
Thank you. This video gives me a bit of comfort, knowing that I'm not the only one that feels lonely. I'm currently in my first depressive episode, hopefully the last one, and loneliness is one of the main things it revolves around. I'm in my mid-twenties and only prioritized work since I moved out, and today it shows. I still am not sure how to make friends, but I'm trying my best and hopefully some day it shows off.
@jakeilano6821 6 ай бұрын
I came here because I feel like I don't have any friends and feel lonely. I have friends, but I barely have anything in common with them and that's why I feel lonely. I know people say have an open mind and I should do that, but it's hard and it's nice to know that I'm not the only one here watching, commenting, liking, and possibly subscribing to this video. 😊
@Abelhawk Жыл бұрын
I miss being a kid and literally having a conversation like "Hi! Want to be my friend?" "Sure!" What I've noticed as an adult is, the best way to form friendships quickly is by laughing together. Putting yourself in a situation where you can laugh, whether it's conversations, movies, or games, makes it much more likely to get that sweet, sweet oxytocin flowing.
@sebbychou Жыл бұрын
I learned that adults of all ages are still receptive to just being asked to be friends. It's awkward, but honest and it sets boundaries/expectations, so it's appreciated.
@niyamusfr788 Жыл бұрын
Glorify Undefinable, The Answerer or The Stabilizer of Matter Controllers of Body, By eternal Existence rely to Undefinable alone, be Serene and judge by how Matter executes! The Identity can exist in every possibility! Ask guidance and things You can't get to The Answerer, THAT allowed You into this body, THAT gave truth for clean-minded in Subconscious, and avoid numbness! And use wonders Lord of Existence made from Earth, and don't take what is unknown, until You will understand it! Shape Your own makings, and You will be supported! Blessed is Controller of Man united with intuition and subtle joy! That relies to The Originator alone, That chooses by the best, That hears brainwaves and sees eye pixels! The life can be mastered, for rules were made simple to Observant! Don't be fearful of destiny, because We're parts of possibilities, that have freewill with Serenity! By wonders of fat-stores fasting, that cleans everything inside! Forbid high anti-nutrient, PUFA, synthetic food - allow wheatgrass, fruit seeds and ferment food! Trial is what evil awaited and good missed! Universe remains to its original form, and don't change adaptable bodies in ignorance! Challenging are the days of Illusion and a sad burden to anyone that didn't seek independence, no first-cause is miracle-free! Great are the days of Responsibility that nourish the Soul! We have always existed! Everything is possible, You're in this body! Simulation theory is insufficient, and lucid dreams are managed by nutritionally sufficient and aware! The world is created for Observer's favor! Whole Multiverse is in perfection for Purpose! As World ends, it will return! Current place is special by The Stabilizer!
@bloomeraklyon5842 Жыл бұрын
I never had friends as a kid only one sided friends 😭
@sebbychou Жыл бұрын
@@bloomeraklyon5842 What do you mean?
@legendarytomatobird2816 Жыл бұрын
@@bloomeraklyon5842 oof, I play Pokémon tcg during breaks and I still have friends. ... I play Pokémon tcg in HIGH SCHOOL.
@LucasLima-hx4fe Жыл бұрын
I've been the "lone wolf" since I was a teenager, with rare exceptions of moments when I suddenly had some friends and energy to make all I liked. It's painful having this personality almost my whole life. Having few friends or no one to share my feelings is now making me lose the track of my life, really. When I was younger, being a "young-adult" seemed a lot more interesting than it turned to be. Seeing my friends developing their lives, constructing relationships, marrying, having kids...and me with the same old lone-wolf stuff. Socializing hurts me now harder than before and I really don't know how to recover from this mental state. Totally great video.
@ltaliken8607 Жыл бұрын
Glorify Undefinable, The Answerer or The Stabilizer of Matter Controllers of Body, By eternal Existence rely to Undefinable alone, be Serene and judge by how Matter executes! The Identity can exist in every possibility! Ask guidance and things You can't get to The Answerer, THAT allowed You into this body, THAT gave truth for clean-minded in Subconscious, and avoid numbness! And use wonders Lord of Existence made from Earth, and don't take what is unknown, until You will understand it! Shape Your own makings, and You will be supported! Blessed is Controller of Man united with intuition and subtle joy! That relies to The Originator alone, That chooses by the best, That hears brainwaves and sees eye pixels! The life can be mastered, for rules were made simple to Observant! Don't be fearful of destiny, because We're parts of possibilities, that have freewill with Serenity! By wonders of fat-stores fasting, that cleans everything inside! Forbid high anti-nutrient, PUFA, synthetic food - allow wheatgrass, fruit seeds and ferment food! Trial is what evil awaited and good missed! Universe remains to its original form, and don't change adaptable bodies in ignorance! Challenging are the days of Illusion and a sad burden to anyone that didn't seek independence, no first-cause is miracle-free! Great are the days of Responsibility that nourish the Soul! We have always existed! Everything is possible, You're in this body! Simulation theory is insufficient, and lucid dreams are managed by nutritionally sufficient and aware! The world is created for Observer's favor! Whole Multiverse is in perfection for Purpose! As World ends, it will return! Current place is special by The Stabilizer!
@bloomeraklyon5842 Жыл бұрын
Hopefully you have a sibling or a love interest that is your best friend
@wren_. Жыл бұрын
maybe you and your friends could try doing Doing different activities in the same room. You don’t have the pressure of talking to them, but you’re still with other people so you’re getting that human connection that you crave
@haridstevens1224 Жыл бұрын
lone wolf is cringe
@duality4y Жыл бұрын
I am a Lone Wolf myself I know exactly what your getting at I see the same with people around me as you describe can hit you reall hard in the feels it often does for me but I searched for help cause I realized that it's not good and that I want to be happy :)
@toompie69 Ай бұрын
It's already exhausting enough to drag my body through the day. I only have energy to scroll mindlessly through the internet. This is my life.
@cosygoose1813 Ай бұрын
Het some sun, literally. Wakes you up.
@moonpen_ 5 ай бұрын
I’m just finishing my first semester of university and I’ve struggled with this loneliness problem. I’ve got many friends, but most of them are online or back at home and not in person, at least not often. This helped a lot to give me the confidence to reach out! Thanks to kurzgesagt for the videos
@RelyeaGaming Жыл бұрын
I’ve found that the first two weeks of school are the best times to make new friends. Everybody in class is just as out of place and wanting to belong as you. Most people are on their phone so they can mentally be somewhere more comfortable. Stepping just a tiny bit out of your comfort zone to ask a question or say hello to someone early on (before habits of where people sit and who they interact with are set) will go a very long way to making lots of new friends. Not too sure about making friends as an adult though. I just stayed in touch with the people I wanted from school.
@CrystalKeeper7 Жыл бұрын
Hey, I didn't know you watched kurgesagt :P
@longshot8696 Жыл бұрын
what about if you are not in school...
@QF_Dan72 Жыл бұрын
The best time is during elementary school where everyone are naive enough to accept you because everyone developed their mind during secondary school and began to choose who they want to hang out and you might not be lucky to be included
@deutschmitpurple2918 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing. This message is so valuable
@bigt6665 Жыл бұрын
@@longshot8696 then u will die lonely
@pollyrg97 Жыл бұрын
1. Proximity is king. When you spend time with people at work, school, sports clubs, parenting groups, faith community, volunteering etc. this is prime ground for forming new friendships. If you want more friends you may need to put yourself in a new space, ideally one where you will be doing something you enjoy and therefore spending time around like-minded people. 2. Friendship takes time. You will need to invest time in forming a new friendship and in maintaining existing friendships, even if it's just a quick text to check in. 3. Make and accept invitations - to lunch, a movie etc. 4. Show caring and interest. Find out about what is important to your potential new friends and what's going on in their lives. Listen, ask relevant questions, and follow up later. Be willing to share about yourself as well. Look for signals of engagement/disengagement to know when to share more or less. 5. Be interesting and genuine. Do stuff you love and invite others to join you
@jasonbaptiste2257 Жыл бұрын
Hey, thanks a lot of your insight but I feel like the problem is that I’ve done all of this and still I end up with the same result. You’re making it seem like, I’m the one that’s at fault for not having friends when in reality I’ve started to realize that it’s not. No matter what I do, I always end up with the same result. Everyone talks about how I’m such a nice person but whenever I try to get close with them they always reject me and it’s so frustrating. Quite honestly I don’t know what else to do at this point, I’ve started to realize that no matter what I do, I’ll never make friends
@justaneditygangstar 10 ай бұрын
@@jasonbaptiste2257 you are just insufferable thats why
@reob12 9 ай бұрын
@@jasonbaptiste2257 i feel this on a spiritual level. i think at my core i can be sensitive and extremely caring, but when other people refuse to reciprocate or ostracize you altogether, it becomes so frustrating that any social interaction is dispiriting. i feel so numb to people at this point in my life
@bishbosh4815 8 ай бұрын
I never get invitations
@lemillion5980 8 ай бұрын
@@jasonbaptiste2257that is sad
@quantumdevil5147 10 сағат бұрын
I understand how crucial human connection is like every human require another human to have meaningful and happy life. Fundamentally, we all love 💕 humanity!
@Mothxcat 10 ай бұрын
thanks im autistic and making friends has been always a challenge to me
@user-rm7pe4rr6o 3 ай бұрын
very relatable
@Noct6x Жыл бұрын
One of my fav quotes from “The Social Animal” feels relevant here: Trust is habitual reciprocity that becomes coated by emotion; it grows when two people begin volleys of communication and cooperation and slowly learn they can rely upon each other. Members soon learn that they can not only cooperate with each other, but sacrifice for each other.
@travisvn Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. I screenshotted it to save and look back on 💙
@viciousKev Жыл бұрын
Wow. Ive noticed that people who just perpetually and habitually, almost uncontrollably sacrifice and risk having so much of their efforts go unappreciated are basically friends with every single person they are around.
@CantComplain3k Жыл бұрын
@@viciousKev Well, I'm going to assume a lot of those friendships are one-way streets. I know a couple of people as you described, and 90% of the bastards they surround themselves with are only hanging around with them because those "friends" get a lot from them and feel they have to give nothing in return, i.e., taking advantage of the person. Watch how quick those friends say "I thought we were cool" if the person establishes some boundaries and refuses the friend a favor.
@deutschmitpurple2918 Жыл бұрын
Thank you 😊😊
@donnerblitzen1388 Жыл бұрын
When trust is broken due to matters of ill repute and intention, it is very hard to believe in others. I am trying to find new friends since I had to walk away from all of them due to them being strung out addicts who don’t want to change or get clean. I am trying KZfaq video content and streaming, but having a friend call me and ask “what are you up to?” would make my week now. It’s lonely…
@Logarithm906 Жыл бұрын
I joined an archery club because it always interested me but I was the only person there my age and they lived, ate and breathed archery. Everything they did was based on archery. They turned something i enjoyed and relaxed with into a pure competition. People are hard.
@ghoetzinjal2660 Жыл бұрын
Reminds me of when I joined an archery team for my school. It was all fun and we joked around (all the time) Other competitive schools never took us serious but we somehow managed to score more points than a lot of these schools
@Lily-loopsy Жыл бұрын
The same with me and ice hockey. All the girls on my team were either far older or much better than me, but I began to realise ice hockey was their entire life, they didn’t really have other interests or hobbies and took it so seriously. Eventually I quit the team because I was so anxious and fearful about messing up in case they’d hate me. Not fun
@impulse50k.w.6 Жыл бұрын
I really like the way you present this animation. Thank you for letting me join in your great experience.
@nyong97 6 ай бұрын
I truly appreciate all the tips and you made it all sound so easy but it's not. I can't seem to let go of my detachment issues because it keeps me safe. No attachments = no expectations = no disappointments = no feelings hurt
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