I would love if you could demo this with a child on camera

My eyes are watering. I did this was my toddler this morning and no tantrums changing his diaper, putting on his clothes, getting him in the car. Thank you SO much for this.

Finally, the KZfaq algorithm sent me something of value. This is the best video I've seen on this topic. Ever. Thank you for this. While every child is different, there are definitely some amazing takeaways. For me, the single most important thing is to start off right. When I get this part right, everything else flows. And within that, the single most important thing is my energy level. If I have this set right, and I connect with my son and provide clear direction, things go so, so much better. And never quite understood why some days were so much better than others until I saw this video. And now, I know exactly where I need to focus and fine tune. Thank you for this. I'm going to share it with a number of groups now. Parents that are struggling with the same thing. Thank you again.

I watched this with my 7 year old last night. And tonight she caught me asking my 4 year old “do you want to brush your teeth now sweetie?” My 7 year old says “daddy, look her in the eye and use a firm voice” 🤯😳 So this time I got in my 4 year olds face, touched her shoulder and said “time to brush your teeth sweetie. Do you want to start with the top or bottom?” “TOP!” Amazing. So clearly explained my 7 year old could coach me. and it worked perfectly when applied. You, sir, are a gift. THANK YOU

This is great. I especially appreciate the statement, "we don't ask questions about things that matter." That hit home.

The world needs more men like this to help mentor our children. 🙌

It worked a treat with my 12yo this morning! I gave her directions: get out of bed and put your uniform on (with my hand on her hair). Then you can choose what to have for breakfast. And she did it. No shouting, no threats, just cuddles 😅😮❤. Thank you so much🎉

I started implementing this a few days ago. I realized in order to give my children instructions, I have to know what I want them to do. I have to have a plan. I also realized how often I ask my children questions! wow. no wonder it's getting complicated and heated. Thank you for sharing this! I am a better communicator!

This just unlocked something.. I have a faint memory of feeling very good whenever my mom put her hand on me while asking me to do something when I was in my early teen years. It felt very warm, « connected » and I really wanted to do whatever she asked of me. Thank you for this memory.

I love this guy BUT what I love MOST is that kid he threw behind the chair is SO quiet...not bouncing, screaming, throwing a fit or a shoe at his head, crying, making himself throw up. That KID is amazing! 😵🤣 Silliness aside though, I'm sure this is valid. You're a good teacher.

Homeschool single dad here, thank you, I'm on it! #subscribing

The VERY BEST explanation of Questions vs Statements vs Directions!

Not a teacher nor do I have any small children and I literally just watched this entire video

I’m a mom of 5 kids, the act alone of going up to your kid and looking them in the eye is incredibly helpful

1. Face 2 Face 2.Keep Eye Contact 3. Physical Contact 4. Calm and Confident Energy 5. Clear and Specific 6.Questions(Yes or No) or Statements(😟🙃)Or Directions (🤓)

I love this method. This method means the parent has to put their devices away.

You have to believe in your kid. WOW teachers and parents of teenagers especially need to hear this.

Imagine if all teachers had this level of understanding… society would be transformed.

Effective communication + positive energy= happy successful people.

I don’t have any young children but I used to be a teacher for over 25 years and you are amazing! I never leave comments but I wish I had known you when I began teaching. Such great advice. Teaching others is definitely a gift you have and I thank you for sharing.

I’m 30. I had no men or women teachers like this growing up until maybe senior year high school. These kids will excel with teachers like him.

What you’re saying about attention sounds a lot like what my holistic doctor told me about a baby’s nervous system. The baby’s nervous system is underdeveloped so they need to be held a lot to learn to be calm. So through touch, the baby feels us being calm and then learns to be calm as well. I wonder if a similar thing is happening in the brain with attention. Through our gaze and touch being directed at the kids (our full attention), their brains are learning to pay attention. It’s like a synchronizing process. If our attention is split, so will theirs. If we are not calm, they won’t be either. Very interesting. Great video! Thank you for all this thought-provoking content!

Wonderful advice! Honestly, this applies to adults as well. How many times have we gotten upset at a partner for us telling/asking them to do something and they don’t or they “forget” but in reality they never really heard us or weren’t paying attention in the first place. I tell my husband all the time, if something is important to you that you want me to do/hear/remember, bring me aside, look into my eyes, make sure I’m listening and then tell me. Don’t tell me in passing, don’t text me, don’t tell me while I’m busy doing something else; if it’s important, get my undivided attention and vice versa.

I wish I found this 6 years ago trying to get my then 2 year old niece ready for daycare in the morning! When he said give me the “hard to teach kids” it brought tears to my eyes. This is the type of people we need more of in education and in general in the world. ❤ I am definitely going to follow a lot of this with my employees as well! I manage 14 year olds to 75 year olds and I imagine it would work with a lot of them. ❤

Calm and confident not only worked while I was raising my five children, but it also worked with my pets. Yes, my cat does sit nicely and waits for me to open the cat food. Lol.

OMG....I always do this with my niece (2.5) when I'm teaching her; not realizing this was an actual technique. She loves to come to my house to learn things. This makes me feel good knowing I'm on the right track as I would love to do these things with my own children one day 🥰 I tell my sister all the time it's the energy

This just changed my parenting and my teaching career. Seriously. I saw this video on my bathroom break and then implemented these techniques in my classroom and it worked, and I’m excited to go home and change how I father my sons.

What is incredible is that I think I did this method without knowing it the other day. My 3-year-old daughter was bicycling ahead of us too far and we were yelling at her to come back but she wouldn't. Once I caught up with her I knelt down in front of her looked her in the eye and held her arm and told her why not to do that and that we were trying to make her safe. From then on she listened to us when we told her to come back. This is really amazing teaching. I'm going to try this when I get home again.

Teaching is definitely an art form, as much as it is a skill and labor of love. You all need more respect and especially compensation than you get in our society. thank you for what you do and everyone in the profession.

This guy has such a natural gift. Yes, he obviously has practice and great observation skills with his mentors and colleagues, but genuinely from his soul he's great at this

I was a nanny for a decade and a mother. Even the “difficult” kids always behaved incredibly well with me but were the complete opposite with their parents. All because of these very points. I also homeschooled my daughter long before covid and can attest that toddlers can learn to read and love the learning process. Thank you for sharing this with the world🙏🏼

I can teach any age and ability how to swim , and these are the exact methods I’ve gathered in all my 15 years of experience , all while keeping kids safe and intrigued while in the water . This guy for sure knows his stuff .

Fake it til you make it has always been my motto as a teacher! 😂 Never let them see you stressed or frazzled!

My children are hurting from things myself and their dad has done, spankings and yelling. He has passed away but I'm trying to rebuild our home. I'm glad and grateful I came about onto your page

As a preschool teacher, I actually use these techniques without even noticing. I always loved working with behavioral children, because I love turning them around.

I'm a new teacher and I have trouble with my classroom, after seeing this I have got the all the confidence I need!

Thank you. I really needed this. I used to be so much like this with my daughter, and i let it slip and noticed ive been bitter and less patient. And this is exactly what ineeded to make positive change in mine and my daughters lives. Thank you so much.

i'm not a toddler but i listened to this video like few others. what a presence. humans work the same no matter the age, they just have different levels of understanding and self control. he sure is doing something very right.

He just used all of his strategies on us as adults (minus the touch) and it worked. This guy’s got it!

This makes so much sense. I am homeschooling my two kids one 9 years old and the other one is 7 years old. And this info DOES helps. Thank you, Jesus!! ❤❤

I think we’ve all picked up on the teachers that get kids to listen vs those that don’t. Good for you for taking the extra step and figuring out why and then relating it to parents

I just watched this video today and immediately in 15 minutes I tried it with my 7 year old son (to get his reading done). It worked!!! He did try to test the waters midpoint but I didn’t waiver from my new position. He conceded and everything continued on smoothly. Looking forward to the days ahead and beyond. Thank you sir, God used you to bring peace in my home 🙏🏽

Finally, quality content on KZfaq. Listen to the strategies, embrace the philosophy, believe in the process. Intentional and consistent are the keys. Great video.

I’m a father of an amazing son with autism. Semi-non verbal but he fully understands me when I speak. Eye contact is extremely hard for him on the spectrum and I know that how clear and concise I am… will make or break the entire possibility of his focus. All great tips, thank you. 🙏

This is a lifesaving game changer. Saves time and relationships with our children. Many blessings!

Thank you so much😢 I have 4 years old twin girls and a 2 yrs old son, and this is my first time trying to homeschool them. GOD knew I had needed to see this! This really encourages me❤

I love this. I was a substitute teacher for years. I loved it because I felt gifted to do it. My children would request me and teachers wondered why because traditionally, children hate subs and give them a hard time. Watching you I realize that I engaged the children. My energy and expectations were as you stated. These same seemingly obnoxious kids would fall in line for me and not there teacher. Many of them I would see at the grocery store and they run to give me a hug. Best pay day in the world. No one cares what you know until they know that you care. Life changing.

This is great instruction. I did this raising my son and it was such a wonderful experience. I invested in my child, I wanted him to feel good about his abilities so he could succeed. Turned out to be a great man & great dad. Thank you

This works with so much of parenting , not just teaching , my children are so well behvaed when i keep on top of myself with this kind of behavior myself . It makes the family work well together

The way you took ownership and responsibility.. is so inspiring to me as a father! This is a real man!

I am a 36 yr old, first time mom. You have taught me sooooo much, thank you. Im sending this to all my friends. Thaaaaank you. My daughter is 1 and im gonna use this method and watch this video as much as possible until we get it right.❤

This makes so much sense and explains why I have so much "luck" with my 2yo niece. I don't tell what is going on until we're looking at each other (i hold her hand and request her attention gently, or move in front of her), i tell her what is non-negotiable and why ("i have to hold onto when we walk through the gym, because someone could run into you or fall on you"), and then i offer an option ("do you want to hold my hand or do you want me to carry you?") i cringe every time someone asks her if she wants to do something, she says no, and then they make her. Thank you so much for this EXTREMELY eloquent and kind video, and thank you for saying "i have to respect Bear's choice, because I'm the one who gave them the option." I don't think that's how a lot of adults see it.

I don’t know how this exactly popped up in my feed, but I have immense gratitude for watching this. I’m a father of three, eldest is six and youngest is three, and I have been struggling with defiance, reluctance, spouts of angry backlash when it’s difficult for them to understand… and through everything I’ve tried and heard, nothing quite helps the way this does. You explained this better than anyone has in the past and I think it’s going to really help. Thankyou

I’m raising a 6 year old girl and I grew up in a hostile environment and I don’t want to be them😅 it gets incredibly frustrating when I have been so well with other kids now that I have my own I lose my sauce or something when she tests me. I’m unlearning my childhood and remothering myself to make sure my years w my child are MUCH SOFTER. This is my favorite thing to run into again bc I have been subbed for a while and the 1st year of homeschooling is kickin my behind. 😂😂😂 I’m going to be 6x better by the end of the year😊🎉

I finally understand what it was I was doing when I had to redirect the teens that I sub for. If they were distracted, I walked up to them, and said "hey, you need to be doing this right now." And I almost NEVER get the sass back that everyone told me I would get. After an entire year of subbing I only had to write up ONE student. And it still didn't even escalate, the other students didn't even realize when it happened. Thanks for being so clear so I can focus on the part I'm doing right but also more ways to follow through with giving directions.

Good! Now how about adults 😊

A VERY IMPORTANT VIDEO. I am a pediatrician and will recommend this to parents.

I felt inspired by this as nowadays teachers and child experts are so keen to labeling children with life time behavioural condition instead of empowering kids and parents to do more. Keep up the good work.

LOVE IT! I'm now a grandma to a high schooler. So I'm going to share this far and wide to everyone I know.

Mom of 3 here. Thank you for this. I love how your advice was practical and clear!

I’ve been a teacher/literacy coach for the last 11 years and i’ve never seen it explained this way. Thank you. I needed this.

As an autistic person, I appreciate a video rooted in regulating children's nervous systems while learning. For me, as not every autistic person feels the same, I don't want any eye contact, I want side-by-side physical contact to feel regulated, and I do NOT want to be touched by someone besides the side-by-side. Instead of eyes, I would focus on hands and an object of learning (and sounds) and seeing the adult move the object around would help me. I agree that energy matters, and calm/confident energy when it's faked feels even more like a demand, which triggers the PDA profile of autism. Options (like this or that) helps increase autonomy without feeling lost in the sauce from an open-ended question. For me, I respected people most who were calmly saying categorically a time was happening and allowing options for autonomy after that time has been accepted. Usually I wanted to do an activity but struggled with the transition into it, which was interpreted as not wanting to do the activity, eventually seen as defiance. You mentioned a dance party as a reward, but if I danced before to feel regulated, I would be ready to learn and the learning was rewarding for me. I appreciate the assertion this video's strategies work, but one strategy will never work for every child, and this mindset can harm autistic children who end up failing to appropriately respond to a "tried and true" approach. It's great to have disclaimers that certain disabilities might need a modified approach. It doesn't make what you're sharing less impactful to be honest. Thank you for your video.

Thank you :) as a single mom at 34 with a toddler I find myself overwhelmed communicating with my 4 year old daughter sometimes and I always asked what can I do better .. so grateful to come across your content !❤ I will come back in a few weeks with an update as I begin to put those skills to use. God bless your heart ❤

Ive been teaching for around 14 yrs. As I was watching you teaching the stuffed bear and treating it like a real child, I realized that I was also being taught like a child 😂😂😂 And it worked! I love this style of teaching and I'm going to follow it from now on.❤😊

I taught for 17 years in secondary, and while some of these elements are not as doable with older kids (like physical touch), whenever I’ve applied these things- BAM, the kids focus more, we get things done, good vibes in the classroom, less behavior issues. It’s an awesome learning experience. Thanks for posting!

This was clear, well spoken, and straight forward. Noted for my future babies ☺️

Show them respect, be attentive, and direct. Love this.

Can’t wait to try this! I’ve struggled for MANY YEARS with my child’s behavioral issues. I’ll be back to update 😀😀

Dad of 2 boys, 8&6. Don’t know why YT brought me here, but so glad. This is going to be great to use for teaching how to tie their shoes, following the directions in homework and even in coaching. So excited to try this out.

My son is 3 and he can read very well for his age. He recognizes and remembers most kindergarten sight words already as well.❤

The physical touch part is so interesting, especially in the world that we live in. It's refreshing to see that a man can do so without being demonized for it.

I just love how you say “my kids”. It shows genuine love for what you do. I admire your dedications.

You sir, are a child whisperer. Thanks for sharing this gem of information!

This is the essence of being a good parent. All it is, is this. It's so damn simple. Human connection, and allowing the kid to feel they are in control.

I LOVE YOU!!! I am so happy that some people in this world get to have a teacher like that! THANK YOU! I just feel so grateful, I don't even know why. I am not working in education, nor do I have any kids, but listening to this man feels... soothing, warm, caring.

You’re an absolute genius man. This video needs 10x more views

This is excellent. Admittedly I purchased the entire program thinking that YOU were teaching (via video) and felt a bit overwhelmed when I realized you were teaching US PARENTS how to teach our kids! Whew 😅😅😅. This is just what I needed! My 4 yr old is ready but I haven’t given her the attention to really so this! I have a 13 month old as well. I must say these videos are giving me the confidence to start again! Thank you so much for this!!! Can’t wait to share my success!!

As a former educator and now a “stay at home mom” I can tell you that he is a 100% CORRECT! This methods works and my class would run smoothly because of it! 😊 Great information sir!

Is it weird that I'm healing my childhood trauma through this . ❤

As a kindergarten teacher with 25 students, several with disabilities, i would love to have the luxury of doing 1 at a time. Or even 10 at a time LOL. I do all of these things to the best of my ability though. With 25 kids. Thankfully I have developed good classroom management over the years. Giving kids lots of small choices helps SO much.

Hey! I’m not a parent, but an auntie and photographer who directs a lot of kids on set. This is so absolutely true and such a helpful refresher!! Kids are so smart and see right through us.

This is perfectly explained. I was a Child Development Specialist at a local hospital and this is exactly what i did but I couldn’t have explained it better. I worked with children with all types of developmental delays and it works. Even kids who have experienced trauma and are labeled “bad” kids respond to it. That confident, calm energy is everything. It makes them feel safe and secure. Even now I use this with my kids at home. 👏🏽👏🏽

Thank you for explaining the power of DIRECTION including the right energy, beliefs and expectations and above all that we have to BELIEVE in our kids.

love this thank you soo much for this information especially where you talk about energy and beliefs, may the Divine Father continue to bless you

The statement vs directive bit is gold. I was watching my grands and I was telling them it's time to go and no one was moving. After a few attempts I recognized what my miss was and started telling each one, walk out to the car. And there they went. When they're excited or distracted it's more difficult for them to understand/extract the action that's being asked for in a statement.

Every child is born with a yearning to learn. They push themselves to roll over, sit, crawl, walk, talk, and it doesn’t end there. Education is just another milestone they need adults’ help with. It’s so beautiful to watch a child blossom that was once labeled lazy/unmotivated/hating to learn. This was a great video!

After reaching rock bottom yesterday after one of my kid's swimming lessons I needed to hear this. Thank you.

I loved his caring, clarity and confidence. Thought you might enjoy it, too. 😊

I teach two kids German in a private home. They are under age 12. I didn't realize how much I needed this. Thank you for being so to-the-point!

Tomorrow is my first day at school as a kindergarten teacher... Listening and learning to these points have made me more confident and you have literally explained to me how should i perform at school... Thanks alot

I had the grand opportunity to have training for a "Registerd Behavior Therapist". An RBT work primarily with children on the spectrum of Autism. Your method in this video is exactly the method used with our Autistic/Spectrum clients; the eye contact, the questions/choices and 'celebration' breaks are on point! Love it! Thank you for showing that it works for ALL!

Blessings to you for helping our Littles! I pray this video reaches all teachers who need it!!!

I’m a teacher (retired) and I love this! I wish I had this when I first started. You are blessing to new teachers!!!

This information should be mandatory during training! Sir, you can make the difference for millions and also in your community ❤ Thankyou for taking the time to film, God bless you 🙏🏼

I love you man. You are what every teacher and father needs to be. Thanks for sharing this with everyone here to receive it. You're making a difference in this world for so many.

Reverse psychology, got it! Also as a teacher, if you are touching kids in school you better be careful, even tho it’s innocent people are messy!

My dad did this with us as children over 60 years ago! I miss my dad and I’ve been using this with my 4 grand nieces. No screaming, slapping or hollaring. But simple face 2face conversation., yesss all these my dad was such a wonderful dad❤️

Im 20 with no kids, but I love kids, and I love seeing that there’s content like this out there👏 GO you sir! All teachers need to see this :)

Covid made us all more afraid of close contact, especially physical, along with being isolated, and people wonder why young kids are so “misbehaved” these days. We as humans are meant to connect with one another Physically, whether that just be in close proximity or actually physically touching. These kids need us now more than ever! And too many people say they don’t like them (or go as far as to say they hate kids) as if they were never a child themselves. This was an exceptional video and I truly appreciate you for taking the time to make it! I know this is the key to helping my child learn and listen with me. Thank you so much! You have helped me tremendously!

I love this so much. Thank you for spreading LOVE for children!! I always say, when the child is "challenging" or misbehaving, it is on the parents or other adults in charge... No matter disability or not, children need love & patience, and they will be good if you offer that to them. Thank you :)