Referernces + Corrections: 1. Original twitter post by Depths of Wikipedia twitter.com/depthsofwiki/status/1501720705385353219 2. Meme site documenting the origins of the Sumerian Bar Joke knowyourmeme.com/memes/sumerian-bar-joke 3. twitter.com/abbyfheld/status/1501880993833054208 4. twitter.com/VocolPuh/status/1501784215121276928 5. popcrush.com/twitter-decipher-punchline-ancient-sumerian-bar-joke/ 6. r/AskHistorians thread (now archived) www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/tbgetc/this_bar_joke_from_ancient_sumer_has_been_making/ 7. Cuneiform Digital Library Initiative Entry 1 cdli.mpiwg-berlin.mpg.de/artifacts/231595 8. Gordon EI (1958) Sumerian Animal Proverbs and Fables: “Collection 5”, Journal of Cuneiform Studies, vol 12, pg. 1-21 9. Gordon EI (1958) Sumerian Animal Proverbs and Fables: “Collection 5” (Conclusion), Journal of Cuneiform Studies, vol 12, pg. 43-75. 10. Cunningham G (2013) The Sumerian Language. In: The Sumerian World, Routledge, pg. 95-109. 11. Crawford H (2004) Writing and the Arts. In: Sumer and the Sumerians, Cambridge University Press, pg. 193-198. 12. Cuneiform Digital Library Initiative Entry 1 cdli.mpiwg-berlin.mpg.de/artifacts/231595 13. Cuneiform Digital Library Initiative Entry 2 cdli.mpiwg-berlin.mpg.de/artifacts/231603 14. Van De Mieroop M (2016) A History of the Ancient Near East, Third Edition, Wiley Blackwell, pg. 36-37. 15. Pronunication by Dr Seraina Nett, Endless Thread Podcast, ‘Jokes, Part I: Sumer Funny, Sumer Not’ Timestamp: 6:06-6:18. www.wbur.org/endlessthread/2022/08/05/sumerian-joke-one 16. Beaulieu PA (2018) A History of Babylon (2200 BC-AD 75), Wiley Blackwell, pg. 69-97. 17. Van De Mieroop M (2016) A History of the Ancient Near East, Third Edition, Wiley Blackwell, pg. 90-127. 18. Van De Mieroop M (2016) A History of the Ancient Near East, Third Edition, Wiley Blackwell, pg. 91-93. 19. Black et al. (2004) The Literature of Ancient Sumer, Oxford University Press, pg. 40-50. 20. Gordon EI (1959) Sumerian Proverbs; Glimpses of Everyday Life in Ancient Mesopotamia, pg. 1-20. 21. Proverb Collection 5 entry on the Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature: etcsl.orinst.ox.ac.uk/proverbs/t.6.1.05.html#t6105.p77 22. Bottéro J (2001) Everyday Life in Ancient Mesopotamian, pg. 100-101. 23. Stol M (2016) Prostitution. In: Women in the Ancient Near East, De Gruyter, pg. 401-403. 24. Cooper J (2006) Prostituion, Reallexikon der Assyriologie und Vorderasiatischen Archäologie (RlA), 11, 12-21. 25. Smithsonian article on the Lagash tavern excavations www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/5000-year-old-tavern-discovered-in-iraq-180981564/ 26. 2022 Fall Season Excavation Report from the Lagash Archaeological Project web.sas.upenn.edu/lagash/current-excavations/2022-fall-season/ 27. Alster B and Oshima T (2006) A Sumerian Proverb Tablet in Geneva With Some Thoughts on Sumerian Proverb Collections, Orientalia, 69. 28. Alster B (1997) Proverbs of Ancient Sumer. CDL Press. 29. Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature Proverb collection 5 transcription etcsl.orinst.ox.ac.uk/proverbs/t.6.1.05.html#t6105.p77 30. Dr Seraina Nett, Endless Thread Podcast, ‘Jokes, Part I: Sumer Funny, Sumer Not’ Timestamps: 16:22-16:32 and 10:56-10:11 www.wbur.org/endlessthread/2022/08/05/sumerian-joke-one 31. Richardson S (2019) Nature Engaged and Disengaged: The Case of Animals in Mesopotamian Literatures. In: Impious Dogs, Haughty Foxes and Exquisite Fish, De Gruyter, pg. 11-40. 32. Breier I (2019) Shaming by Naming: “Dog” as a Derogatory Term for Human Beings in Ancient Near Eastern Sources. In: Impious Dogs, Haughty Foxes and Exquisite Fish, De Gruyter, pg. 57-72. 33. Dr Seraina Nett, Endless Thread Podcast, ‘Jokes, Part I: Sumer Funny, Sumer Not’ Timestamps: 16:22-16:32 and 10:56-10:11 www.wbur.org/endlessthread/2022/08/05/sumerian-joke-one 34. Correction: This is mentioned by Endless Thread podcast host Ben Brock Johnson at 12:06-12:21, not Dr Nett. www.wbur.org/endlessthread/2022/08/05/sumerian-joke-one 35. Dr Philip Jones, Endless Thread Podcast, ‘Jokes, Part I: Sumer Funny, Sumer Not’ Timestamp: 29:26-29:47 36. Dr Philip Jones, Endless Thread Podcast, ‘Jokes, Part I: Sumer Funny, Sumer Not’ Timestamp: 28:52-29:01 37. Dr Philip Jones, Endless Thread Podcast, ‘Jokes, Part I: Sumer Funny, Sumer Not’ Timestamp: 30:40-31:20

Imagine if Sumerians were into non-jokes that intentionally had no punchline and we're just grasping at straws because of that.

Personally, the more amazing thing to me is that "X walks into a bar" jokes have been a thing for so long.

As a Sumerian I find this absolutely hilarious

I like to think it might've been a direct equivalent to the classic pun: "A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks: Why the long face?". Without knowing the idiom, it makes as much sense as the Sumerian dog joke.

In Sumerian is much funnier...

My favorite type of this joke is this: An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

The dog chewing a bone anus joke nearly made me cry that was so unbelievably funny

My personal take on the proverb: It's a variation of, "A man walked into a bar. He should have ducked," suggesting the dog collided with the tavern instead of entering. The teaching moment is something along the lines of, "Don't get so lost in the task at hand that you lose sight of the goings on around you." Either that, or it's some witty wordplay that's lost on us. Which leads me to the mental image of the original scholar (the one who added the proverb to the list, not the student who scribed the tablet) laughing and commenting about how this joke is so timeless that it needs to be on the list.

The bit about the verb for "to open" being close to a word for "vulva" makes me hope that 4,000 years from now, there will be archaeologists struggling to find the exact correct interpretation for "ligma" jokes.

in spite of not being able to understand its context, the fact that this joke has the "x walks into a bar and says" format that we still retain today is astounding

Any Sumerians that happen to be immortal and watching this are probably bawling and howling in laughter right about now.

The dog and bone one actually drew a laugh out of me

I love the idea that some Sumerian student copied this wrong and now we’re struggling with it all these years later.

The dog talking to its anus legitimately made me laugh and I think it's so great people from 4000 years ago can make us laugh today. It's some timey whimey stuff

A guard dog opening the front door of a brothel to the public is definitely the funniest interpretation, and it makes the most sense as a joke. It also acts as an allegory about doing one's job effectively (i.e., you can't guard the streets from inside a brothel).

"A bull with diarrhea leaves a wide trail" A timeless truth, lol

I know a Greek joke . There are three islands. On the first there is a Greek. He decides to measure the island, explore and investigate the local flora and fauna. He then writes a book about it. On the second island is a Roman. Having ascertained that he doesn’t need to conquer it, he then proceeds to make laws, creat roads and aqueducts and raises a statue to himself. On the third island is Celt. He starts a fight.

A dog walks into a brothel and says, "I can't see a thing, I'll have this one". Okay, I could see that as a crude joke.

this reminded me of a joke about two soldiers drinking some awful moonshine heavily while they're being surrounded by the enemy. After finishing the bottle and being incredibly drunk, one says to the other: - Do you see me? - Nope! - I don't see you either. We're so good at camouflage, they'll never find us!

A possible meaning i had and actually fits better with the older translation is that a dog is looking for a place to sleep, he walks into a bar (which would normally be busy at night but in this case is closed), and decides to sleep there (probably using a phrase someone would use to normally order a beer with but in this case referencing the building). This would explain the context for the darkness and why he would be choosing something. It functions more like a proverb that in modern day would translate more like "The dog has no sense of value for the lively accommodations of night life, but rather the accommodation itself." If i were to translate my idea while keeping it in joke form it would be along the lines of "A Dog walks into a bar and sees its dark and nobody is there, he then says "this is the perfect bar for me"". It also fits much more with the idea of dogs in proverbs as something that would rather not be or shouldn't be bothered.

My fan theory about the meaning: A dog walks into a bar and sees no customers and no staff, so he thinks... "I will open the bar myself,"

My first thought was that the door to the tavern was closed and that's why the dog couldn't see inside, so it suggested opening the door. Basically it's a precursor to "two men walk into a bar, you'd think one of them would've seen it"

The bit about the dog being a guard dog made me think it's either a joke or a proverb about turning a blind eye

The last suggestion makes a lot of sense. It also suggest the saying is a proverb, not a joke. Taking the dog as an analogue of the watchman, it amounts to something like, “if you want privacy, don’t bring the watchman in.”

So basically the joke is something like "A dog walks into a whore house and asks where the bitches are"

I do love the idea of an Assyrian student sitting down and copying out a (to him) 2,000 year old Sumerian text, not getting it and now 3,000 years later we are trying to interpret his homework.

Perhaps simply the Sumerian equivalent of "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"

I am brazilian. So english is my second language. I genuinely laughed about the "Black and white and red all over" joke.

Here’s a pre-security cam joke, ER nurse runs up to the doctor and says, “Doctor doctor that guy you said was fine… he walked outside and fell over dead!” Dr says, “Well turn him around make it look like he was walking in!”

A fox being cunning, funny and a menace is a trope that as old as time it seems which brings me joy.

couldnt it be about a dog blindly opening a bottle of alcohol? like "screw it, ill drink whatever!"

The most interesting thing I found in this video is the fox already being cunning, a trickster. Would love to see someone analyze the role of the fox in old tales until now.

My favorite way this was described to me was that because the tavern is dark the dog cant see anything inside of it, and the casks at the time had taps that you could drink right out of, while at the same time Sumerians had loose open clothing. Combining all of this together and the height of the dog it leads to a semi funny penis joke. A dog walked into a tavern and said, 'I can't see a thing. I'll open this one.'

A dog walks into a tavern and says to the bartender, "I'll have a beer". The bartender just stares at him and says "Blimey. A talking dog."

My immediate thought was that the earliest cities didn't have many streets - buildings were just attached to one another or piled on top of one another, so many of them didn't have windows. If the bar was one such, it would have been dark inside except during opening hours, when presumably either the door was left open or lamps were lit - and suddenly the joke starts to make some kind of sense!

Basically, it's the equivalent of Student 1: **copies down dog joke** Hey come here, look at this meme I found. Student 2: **snickers** Good luck, future historians.

Every part of the joke is intelligible except for what the "one" is. "I'll open this one." What if the "one" is the tavern itself. What if it's basically... "An alcoholic walks into a bar. The bar is dark and closed. The alcoholic says 'Welp, guess I'll open the bar myself."

It's always important, when dealing with translations, to think about the differences between 'horse play' vs 'pony play' or 'cabin in the woods' vs 'cottage in the forest' in our own language. So yes, context, so desperately important.

Just wanted to say that considering my diog follows my mom everywhere to the extent that she waits for her outside the bathroom door, I wouldn't be surprised if this was someone joking about how their dog would try to follow them into brothels lmfao

I think the joke involves the dog, who is supposed to be doing his duty, disingenuously saying that he needs to look into the room to maximize security, even though he really just wants to see what’s going on.

Maybe at some moment, when the original language was no longer spoken, but the texts were still used as copying exercises, an inexperienced student skipped a line of text and ruined the punchline. Following generations continued reproducing the error, assuming it made sense in the old language, just like we still do today.

The dog gnawing on the bone and talking to his anus had me laughing out loud for a while. The way it was read definitely helped.

Hey! First time on the channel and was pleasantly surprised to hear the delectable dulcet tones of @StefanMilo suddenly in my speakers! LOVE his channel! Will have to check out more of your channel now for sure!

So the dog walked into a bar (like you would if you walk into someone while walking in the dark, not literally inside a person/bar), and said "darn, I can't see anything... I better open my eyes". Works especially well after hearing a bunch of other "A dog walks into a bar" jokes just before that. Also, if you remember that a dog is supposed to be a guard animal, and thus - extra watchful.

Imagine someone thousands of years in the future trying to understand current meta-humor. The dog joke was probably related to the Sumer way of life and it's meaning has been lost to time.

The idea that the joke is even older than the scribe who wrote it down and he didn't get the joke either is kinda hilarious. Imagine a bunch of scribes having the same conversation that we are having today trying to figure out what this means.

THANK YOU FOR THE BESPOKE SUBTITLES!!!!!! It’s increasingly rare to see people put the effort in to write their own subtitles, as opposed to the dodgy auto-generated ones. You rock

Your presentation, thoroughness, use of sources written and spoken, and air of humble pursuit are a true pleasure. Vehement gratitude :>

7:51 - A dog gnawing on a bone says to his anus: "This is going to hurt you!" This is by far the best quote in the video. And my god, it was masterfully delivered!

My take: The dog can't see anything because his face is against the tavern door. He 'walked into it'. Also, these jokes are so timeless. \o/ Awesome video.

From my experience the seediest bars are the hardest to see inside, implying that whatever goes inside is best left unseen from prying eyes. A dog that is either a man of passions (drunk,lustful) or a guard might be interested in opening the door to see what's happening. Perhaps the joke is that the dog is both.

The actors reading the quotes are really enthusiastic😂

My guess is that it may have something to do with what might have been a common experience at Sumerian taverns. I don’t know much about how taverns were built in ancient Sumer, but I’d guess they might have been enclosed spaces with low-lighting at all hours of the day. The joke may then be pointing fun at how dogs, which I assume mag have travelled freely around town, would enter into taverns and knock open doors to the outside, letting in natural light that flashes everyone in the tavern. The joke would therefore be pointing fun at how dogs do this, under an assumption that the dog can’t see and opens to door to let more light in.

When you don't understand a joke it is probably a pun in a foreign language.

Among my friends, I am somewhat notorious for messing up jokes. I once butchered a joke that several of my other friends knew well. They later reported that the person I told the joke to repeated my butchered version which they found hilarious - funnier than the actual joke itself. The idea that someone messed it up appeals to me.

An honestly fascinating video. I must admit, when I first saw the contents of the joke/proverb (which was in this video), my inclination was to equate the "dog" with a person, in the same way that Aesop's Fables have animals representing types of people. But it was quite interesting to hear the various different possibilities of what the meaning might be (and yes, I found the idea that it refers to a guard dog falling down on the job a neat interpretation). And I am of the strong opinion that proverbs, in a lot of ways, are both similar among different cultures, and also different enough to give us some glimpses into what makes that culture unique. So thank you for this video, and for the various different proverbs referenced in it! It's those that help raise this video from interesting (which it would be without those) to fascinating for me.

This reminds me of an old Spanish proverb "el perro del hortelano, que no come ni deja comer". The first half of it is the title of a play by Lope de Vega (from the 1600s). It means "the dog of the horticulturist (vegetable grower), who doesn't eat and doesn't let others eat". It is obviously about a guard dog who doesn't let people steal the vegetables that the owner is growing but won't eat the veggies either, cause it's a dog. But that's only obvious if you know what the word "hortelano" means. My parents worked in horticulture so for me it was a normal word, but apparently in everyday modern Chilean Spanish people don't know what it means anymore. I found out the hard way when I was studying Drama and, on a class about Lope de Vega, we watched a film version of that play, which is about a noble woman who has a crush on a servant. She can't marry someone that's so far below her station, but she won't let him marry another servant. But when another student asked what did that have to do with a dog, all the lecturer could do was to repeat the saying "el perro del hortelano, que no come ni deja comer" and had no idea why the dog wasn't eating. I explained that it's because dogs don't normally eat vegetables and this dog was watching it's owners vegetable field against thieves. Everyone seemed annoyed that I knew what the saying meant, especially the lecturer. 😢

Here's my interpretation : A dog walks into a bar; "It's really dark in here." He said. "No one will notice me open this beer, then."

My favourite video of yours! Hope you will do more.

I've always been fascinated by ancient humor - it reveals how little humanity has changed fundamentally over the millennia. I especially love the "dick jokes" from Aristophanes play "The Clouds". Erections have just always been funny I guess.

Could be meaning something on the line of "we have a problem, we need a solution, we can't find it. We found it, the solution was so simple a dog could resolved it." The room is dark, we can't see, a dog opens a window. The joke is we are dumber than dogs, not the bar part for me.

The dog chewing on a bone proverb makes me think about the Taco Bell jokes and memes of today.

I watched entire videos shorter than that ad that my blocker did not block so now you know why I did not wade through it to see your video

This seems to be one of those three part jokes where somebody forgot the middle part.

Appreciate the many illustrations of people drinking beer out of a shared vessel with long straws. It's one of the those little things that makes Sumeria really vivid in my imagination.

I saw an explanation that I really liked. It explained that the drink "jugs/bottles" were of a phallic shape and being in the dark, he opened the first object of the shape he could find.

question about the historic scene depiction drawings in the video, who is the artist? and from which book is that?

My takeaway: as long as there’s been people around we’ve needed the companionship of dogs, alcohol, humor and hoes.

The "guard dog can't see outside because he's inside" version is the funniest. To rephrase and modernize, "A traffic cop walks into a bar. He says, I don't see anyone speeding in here, guess I should go back outside." That's way funnier IMO than some idea of a dog wanting to see people getting it on in a brothel.

I love that you have such a wholesome proverb, "A heart did not create hatred, speech created hatred." Following a proverb about women farting when their husbands hug them

It's about gaining consciousness and how this is a double edged sword when we coopt another. Very subtle and very clever.

Oh, I _love_ the drone shot of the Biheštun inscription! It's awesome!

Another couple of possibilities: 1. Since the tablets were copied by students, it's possible that this one is simply an error. 2. It's possible that this is a fragment, and there was more after it that fleshes it out.

Imagine how people of the far future will interpret the widely written "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog."

The ancient internet user had an interesting proverb among them, which directly translates to "Child Named Finger". This was a fairly common phrase, however it's meaning is not quite understood. Historical copies show that this phrase was associated with an older man who we believe was leader of a cult called "Please Cal Saal", which worshipped deities known as "Vawl-tuh", "Chessy", "Gustavo Fring", and "Saal Niceperson". However, we still do not know who this child was, nor do we understand why the cult leader called his child "Finger".

Ohhhh god yeah the insight that "dogs" in the context of these proverbs refer to GUARD dogs changes the entire perspective of what we're talking about here. This joke is roughly the equivalent of "a cop walks into a bar looking for troublemakers. Seeing none, he says, "let's get more people in here until I find some"" With the point being that people who go looking for trouble will - in the absence of it - bring trouble in to justify their purpose.

I am a dog, and found this Sumerian joke very funny.

Just the fact that we can still access and read a joke from that long ago (even if we can't really "get" the humour) is really so impressive. Imagine any of today's digital memes surviving and remaining legible several thousand years from now... Clay tablets may be primitive info tech, but they've certainly stood the test of time!

Its like finding a family guy cutaway compilation 3000 years in the future and family guy have been long forgotten

I think the last take is the correct interpretation - about how opening the door to see out also allows others to see in. Proverbs usually teach a lesson of some kind, big or small, so this reading makes the most sense to me.

Sumerians hittin us with "no soap radio" from across the millennia.

I heard it as similar to the 'joke' about a man who falls into a pit, gets out, comes back with a ladder, and climbs out. So in this case the dog walks into the tavern and only then opens the door because he couldn't see anything. Who knows what kind of puns and cultural trends we are missing.

Waaa i thought your were way older listening to the mythological series 😮 Love the content ✌️

My initial thoughts were: 1) It's a much dirtier joke. It's not a door that the dog wants to open (contradicted by source 37, but definitely suggested by other sources in video). 2) It's subverted expectation. A dog walking into an inn, and opening a door or window for light, may be a bit like a man walking into a bar and saying "ouch," except in this case it wouldn't be wordplay so much as "Oh, you didn't expect the dog to be an anthropomorphic, allegorical character? Haha, gotcha!" After hearing source 37 (17:47), I'm wondering if it's another dog behavior joke, either about dogs insisting on being part of whatever fun humans are having. Or it could be as the scholar in source 37 says, but as a joke or proverb about carelessness and cluelessness: the dog propping open a door and possibly shutters for light, when the inn clientele would rather have privacy, as an example of a person not reading the room or not thinking about anyone but themselves. Jokes can travel so very poorly. I can't support it, but I'm told that a popular German joke in the 70s was having one person say, "What's new? (Was ist neu?)" and the other says, "The dog is new! (Der Hund ist neu)." That's the whole joke. The only theory I have on that is that it's mocking small talk with surreal responses.

At the end, it is indeed like that old version of the Wikipedia article said: "The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life and has been lost, but the words remain". And I think it is beautiful

Personally I’m just impressed they had “dude walks into a bar” jokes back then. Truly universal

My take: The dog walks into a dark brothel and opens a "door" that's implied to be one of the brothel worker's... you know. It could be a commentary on men who walk into taverns acting innocent and just so happen to fall into the brothel worker's "doors". Or it could just be a crude sex joke about a dog.

A horse walks into a bar... Bartender says " what'll it be, Sarah Jessica?"

OH MY GOD. The bone joke sent me into a coughing fit.

Having been a bartender for years...a dog walking into a bar or a brothel makes prefect sense to me.

I'm reading that GRRM & Gardner Dozois anthology "Rogues" right now. Couldn't help spotting it on your shelf.

I would absolutely LOVE another 'bloated' video on druids. Great video as always!

Imagine if in 5000 years people are trying to understand what a yo momma joke is and just not getting it

I like the guard dog interpretation. It's almost self-contained, and it also functions as a proverb: "once you let the guard inside, you invite also the strangers"

my first thought when i heard this was that the punchline was that he forgot an essential part of the act he performed (getting inside and only then remembering he needs to open the door)

Ya know I’ve been subbed a while and I’ve seen pretty much all your videos but this one some how this alluded my view….. like I’m seeing this five months late for some reason

Anybody else 100% on board for "Druids 3: Even Longer, Somehow"?

I never heared this joke. But there was another sumerian joke making the rounds a few years ago. I can't quite remember the wording, but it was something about the lack of(?) sexual abilities of auxiliaries. But after a couple of people commented how incomprehensible the joke was, someone who served in the army commented: "Hey, we pretty much make the same joke about the guys in the artillery."

I have three theories on the meaning: 1) The dog walks into a bar/brothel, and says "nothing to see here..." as he goes about his business either opening a jug of alcohol or possibly opening a woman's legs or something of the sort... 2) The dog walks into a bar and says "I don't see anyone watching me" and opens a drink on the sly maybe? 3) Maybe the dog walks into a bar/brothel originally being uptight and "closed off" and then "opens his eyes" to the world of fun and sin inside. As if to say "maybe I'll just take a peek". I think with translations, there is a lot to read in between the lines and many of these interpreters seem to be reading it too literally instead of thinking that the words could be slang or idiomatic for the time.