The true cost of being too busy, are you prepared to pay it? | Debbie Hayes

The true cost of being too busy, are you prepared to pay it? | Debbie Hayes | TEDxNantwich

Рет қаралды 132,712

Күн бұрын

Busy, busy, busy that was Debbie Hayes until a chance accident gave her the perfect opportunity to pause and reflect. In this talk Debbie explores our modern world where technological transactions and the need for instant gratification are replacing even our most fundamental values and connections. But is it possible to achieve a balance of success without sacrifice and what are the costs?
Debbie Hayes has enjoyed a diverse career background including water engineering, brick manufacturing and telecommunications. A proud single mother and chocoholic Debbie is now a self-employed business coach with a mission to help large organisations, small business owners and individuals achieve success without sacrifice.
In the wake of her accident and using her own philosophies on work life balance Debbie created her own business with the emphasis on being able to spend more time with her son.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 184

@henryq2666 7 жыл бұрын

put the phone down. pretend it's 1994. go play marbles, pogs, or jacks with a friend. Go to the park, climb a tree, catch that garden snake. awkward conversations with other awkward people. that's magic. disconnect to reconnect.

@antediluvianclockwork9769 6 жыл бұрын

No thx I prefer a game on iOS over pogs any time. $40 slammers!

@babymammoth34 2 жыл бұрын

Henry Q 1994 almost seems like another lifetime ago.....Which is truly disturbing and messed up

@babymammoth34 2 жыл бұрын

Especially considering where we have ended up...

@plutoplatters Жыл бұрын

make that 1974 !!! very well put.......... soooooo damn true

@TheShadowChesireCat 4 жыл бұрын

Honestly, it began ages before that. I remember a time before mobile phones, and my parents were still Busyheads. It was just "tv raised me, and my parents ignored me in favour of tv or the newspaper because they were exhausted by the demands of increased work hours for less pay with the ideas instilled by their parents that working harder will get them ahead". It just ended up with them being too busy because they sacrificed time now for "time later" that left them vulnerable to economic exploitation of this mindset.

@wisepersonsay3142 5 жыл бұрын

If people stop thinking they are important and indispensable, they can relax seriously.

@queencece8666 3 жыл бұрын

True

@StitchscapeUk1 7 жыл бұрын

Fabulous talk Debbie. It rings so true with my beliefs. Infact my own business is focused on trying to give like minded people a proper space to meet and connect with others, so that they feel that sense of belonging. People inspiring others is so key to that connection value. Success without sacrifice whilst making valuable connections is powerful and not 'just' a talk. It's a way of life we should definitely aspire to. Thanks.

@DebbieHayesHQ 7 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your fabulous comments. It's great to hear that you have focussed your own business in this way. Success without sacrifice is indeed possible and a prinicple I hope to share far and wide to allow us all to leave a new landscape for the next generation.

@georgedavid3815 2 жыл бұрын

Nice dress

@bronwyntanner4501 3 жыл бұрын

OH my word. I needed to hear this. Thank you.

@CindyPak 6 жыл бұрын

Great talk! Your voice is so relaxing

@commasenselimited9143 7 жыл бұрын

Well done on such a fantastic talk. Your words really resonated with me Debbie. We are rapidly losing the art of conversation to phones, tablets and other devices. We need to stop, think, put our devices and other distractions to one side, and spend quality time with those who are important to us.

@DebbieHayesHQ 7 жыл бұрын

Thank you, great to hear it resonated with you. I hope you find it makes a difference to you as you implement this perspective.

@Gabe62046 5 жыл бұрын

Thanks for making people aware of our addictions, but never forget the benefit of having a phone or iPad, even for kids. Learning a new language or anything for that matter, kids will be able to learn more about the world and community with it, not without it... as long as like you said, we are aware of our addictions. Addictions from the phone, Alcohol, Work, Neediness, Abusing others or anything, Not just a phone. There are many advantages to a phone, But anything can be abused in front of your child or people in society. Be the change you want to see, And learn how to communicate with your environment, society and others

@stevejacob9979 7 жыл бұрын

A really useful reminder that we all should take time to stop and think. This gives us more opportunity to run our lives proactive rather than reactive manner, and make better connections with others as well. I do like ice cream and popcorn, but I certainly have a different view about both now! Wonderful talk, Debbie, well done!

@DebbieHayesHQ 7 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your comments Steve. There is so much value to be gained from taking time out to stop and think and take proactive actions, aligned with what we really want. It's funny how my stories referencing popcorn and the icecream stick in people's mind. Hopefully they will act as reminders of my talk and act as a prompt to step back and reconnect.

@uaps28 5 жыл бұрын

Such a beautiful lady inside and out

@phyliciajoykloes 5 жыл бұрын

Very true. Powerful speech.

@alakhamb6222 3 жыл бұрын

Wise and inspiring! Than you!

@jeetumotiyani5126 2 жыл бұрын

Damn true , you're talking my heart out

@rondab3376 6 жыл бұрын

This was excellent until that last line. Success without sacrifice? No success comes without sacrifice of some kind. The point she should have made was this: Decide which sacrifices are worth it and which aren't!

@henryq2666 6 жыл бұрын

Ronda B absolutely right. the saying goes , we must sacrifice today for a better tomorrow.

@Delta3068 6 жыл бұрын

She is right...If you have a balanced life you don't sacrifice anything.

@erikadelgado206 6 жыл бұрын

Ronda B, I don't mean to judge you, but she is EXACTLY right. She is asking us to change our perspective. You do NOT have to sacrifice if you simply change your PERSPECTIVE. Making sacrifices honestly reminds me of religion.. sacrifice now so you can get some kind of reward later. Oh yea, and only because a priest or something says you will. It's BS. It's also capitalism. Many people today still believe the harder you work the more you get ahead..when in reality it is the smarter you work the more you get ahead lol. When you stop looking at the world and yourself the way you've been programmed to look at yourself and the world and you start to reprogram your subconscious to align with your true self and the universe life. just. becomes. easy. Some eastern philosophies call it Wu-Wei. Is reprogramming your subconscious work? Sure, but what comes afterward is complete bliss. Making sacrifices doesn't work, because you still always WANT what you're sacrificing (I'm sorry, but that's exhausting). If you don't see any value in it to begin with, than it negates the issue in and of itself. I just don't want anyone to become discouraged. Life doesn't have to be brutish and short if you don't see it that way. If you see it that way. It will always be that way. Simple quantum mechanics, really.

@ultimatecontent5901 5 жыл бұрын

@@erikadelgado206 excellent

@joevava5600 6 жыл бұрын

Damn I could watch her speak all day!

@marylafrance9547 6 жыл бұрын

popcorn head mode is a great metaphor

@nw8000 7 жыл бұрын

How did you find a business to do? Where did you get advice on what kind of business to start without killing oneself?

@Capt1021 7 жыл бұрын

Well Said Debbie.

@Tagnar 6 жыл бұрын

90% of comments are about thick women fetish... But it's pretty much as deep/useful as this talk tbf.

@josephbussen4365 5 жыл бұрын

She is not "THICK!" she is curvy, and this IS what women look like. Real women do not look like airbrushed barbie dolls. Sorry, but I do not believe I am a chubby chaser. I am normal and so is she. What do you look like? You can see my face.

@belladonna5904 4 жыл бұрын

She's a bit on the chubby side. Tbh

@samueltremblay275 2 жыл бұрын

The real question would be : do we would talk about the appearance of the speaker if it would be a male. Having at least one comment about her appearance is too much in my opinion.

@daverei1211 Жыл бұрын

One of the problems is this self help world, where companies bombard you with communications, your forced to agree to Terms and Conditions that you can’t reasonably be expected to read much less understand if you actually expect to do something else that day, and if you fail to agree you deny yourself the ability to use the service. Then to make things work, it’s up to you, your time, your google searches etc. And we wonder why we don’t actually have any time……

@RedroomStudios 7 жыл бұрын

my gosh... what a woman!

@lw1343 6 жыл бұрын

RedroomStudios I have no idea what she is saying.....focus is redirected

@sr3821 3 жыл бұрын

@@lw1343 Don't zoom in your view 😁

@TraductorRolandoTellez 6 жыл бұрын

Beautiful lady!

@padoflili 6 жыл бұрын

My mom is to busy for me and I don't have friends cuz we just moved and my mom has a business 😟

@maggiehollinshead9870 7 жыл бұрын

Superb talk Debbie, a really powerful message and one I whole heartedly share. As you say technology and social media play a very important and useful part in our modern lives, but this really should not be at the cost of real social interaction, family values and the very personal skills that enable us to connect with each other. I will be recommending your talk to others, well done x

@DebbieHayesHQ 7 жыл бұрын

That is wonderful to hear Maggie, thank you. There is so much to gain if we can let go of the need to be busy and nurture the connections we have. Sadly many people don't believe it's even possible, but I've seen such transformations in my clients when they adopted my time management ethos and techniques. The benefit isn't just seen at work, a whole ripple effect cascades into their family, teams and the increased sense of self confidence, happiness and fulfillment is so wonderful to see.

@jdson381 7 жыл бұрын

That dress caught my eye, but I hung on every word. Thank you for this valuable information.

@johnferreira9857 5 жыл бұрын

Wow!

@PeepalBaba-Givemetrees Жыл бұрын

too good ☘️💕

@domesorazem8996 6 жыл бұрын

I personaly like being busy, I hate the time that I waste on resting, so i rest whily reading or learning... I also belive that life should be lived not wasted. TNX

@josephbussen4365 5 жыл бұрын

Uh that's her point. So you agree with her.

@amywu2017 Жыл бұрын

That’s right! Everything is transactional now. No human interaction at shop, work just want us to pump out billing’s.

@bojankotur4613 7 жыл бұрын

I'm addicted to checking my mobile phone.

@bestbotreview 5 жыл бұрын

Time is something i have least of .....

@allybally0021 4 жыл бұрын

Rather than WORK for money....it is better to simply BE WEALTHY TO START WITH. Enjoy spending that money and give yourself a few treats. Take time to dwell on this wisdom. THINK for a change.

@plutoplatters Жыл бұрын

People will also say they're " too busy" or " busy " to avoid "personal contact " ! Oh yeahhhh

@jelpack05 6 жыл бұрын

she's fine!

@rosco3516 4 жыл бұрын

Ok I'm going to stop you at 0:46 The only times ever in my life I have ever fealt like I'm alive, like a decision I made ever mattered, is when it almost killed me.

@Ultraninja24395 3 жыл бұрын

Same

@DrJohnPollard 7 жыл бұрын

Where is that accent from. I hear a hint of Aussie, but I'm guessing maybe NZ/UK as well.

@DrJohnPollard 7 жыл бұрын

Manchester City or Manchester United? :-)

@plutoplatters Жыл бұрын

Guess what !! We're driving ourselves nuts !

@Steadno 6 жыл бұрын

Im here to learn👹

@futureboy7372 6 жыл бұрын

Seems like culture is culture

@bibires4407 6 жыл бұрын

Phones, Cites and the ability to buld countres is the only thing that seperates us from Cavemen

@ChubbyBugGrubber 6 жыл бұрын

bibi res actually, it's our ability to question i.e. self awareness

@JLCLAY 6 жыл бұрын

Mama😍

@robertcollins5307 6 жыл бұрын

JIMI JESUS I like big butt's and I cannot lie !

@stepheningram6621 2 жыл бұрын

shes so beautiful wow

@imclueless9875 2 жыл бұрын

"productivity slows down" thats called getting old..

@bestbotreview 6 жыл бұрын

Are you prepared to pay IT

@bestbotreview 5 жыл бұрын

Stephen king Start cLowNing around

@contrafax 7 жыл бұрын

Excuse me? How many likes I get is much more important than feeding my kids or spending time with my wife.

@muradismailov9702 4 жыл бұрын

Her body is amazing)

@sr3821 3 жыл бұрын

@Madara plays Come on....

@rustyshackleford2185 4 жыл бұрын

Dammmm she got that wagon boiii

@TheWeekendGamerz 6 жыл бұрын

Dammit I smashed my phone i was so angry and just threw it on the floor

@bestbotreview 5 жыл бұрын

Be pairs

@bestbotreview 5 жыл бұрын

Too busy but it's every day bro

@luciernagas5661 6 жыл бұрын

capitalism, capitalism, capitalism, capitalism, Late capitalism late capitalism late capitalism

@jessesdomain444 6 жыл бұрын

Luciernaga STOCK *corporatism

@luciernagas5661 6 жыл бұрын

Jesse's Domain Corporatism is the only outcome possible of capitalism. The whole human life, social, political and the lucky of the life on planet on the hands of huge corporations and the rich, because they kill the working class movements.

@jessesdomain444 6 жыл бұрын

It could be worse. We could be like Venezuela right now

@luciernagas5661 6 жыл бұрын

Jesse's Domain hahahahaha Don't make me laugh

@jessesdomain444 6 жыл бұрын

If only you knew of the technology that has been supressed. With it our economic system would be obselete but the elite thrive on corporatism or communism

@045Pierre 2 жыл бұрын

Nobody these days want to connect, take a walk down the river etc. they reserve that for their girlfriends and boyfriends, friendship has basically been thrown out the window, people only care about careers these days. We have become an i generation. You can't even have friends if you don't drink or party, what happened to adventure?

@tommyshelby4842 4 ай бұрын

She has a horse power😊

@kamilareeder943 5 жыл бұрын

Is this what rich people worry about ? I’m busy because if I don’t work for 50 hours a week I’ll starve be homeless and won’t be able to pay my student loan balance

@devanishant 4 жыл бұрын

I work 100 hours a week, but I have never been employed. My work and play are the same. Money flows to me and I give it away.

@futureboy7372 6 жыл бұрын

I knew she was addicted to coffee

@motormouth-of1mb Жыл бұрын

2023 and this is worse then ever.

@futureboy7372 6 жыл бұрын

Kids spend to much time on cpu

@MrMackMoran 6 жыл бұрын

👀

@josephbussen4365 5 жыл бұрын

@jimbojimbo6873 3 жыл бұрын

I see a lot of women daily and most of them dont look like that

@josephbussen4365 3 жыл бұрын

@@jimbojimbo6873 most are slimmer than or bigger than? Help me out here

@victorguerra2273 6 жыл бұрын

Gorgeous body/dress 😍

@joelleenbeanks3767 7 жыл бұрын

I am a biologician. Nope this doesnt work

@garyhost1830 5 жыл бұрын

Mabey the lesson she should of learned is to exercise and be a bit more co ordinated and she wouldnt of been so affected by a minor accident. Ps just had a major motorbike accident est recovery time 3 months actual recovery time 6 weeks. Fitness and genral health matter more than people relise. 9 months to recover falling down stairs. 6 weeks to recover hitting a car. Big difference

@otorishingen8600 6 жыл бұрын

simply not true i dont belong to the "WE" group but i know many people with those symptoms the funny thing is that i as a programmer and many others i know use those devices as what they are devices and turn them of when not needed and do things like yoga and meditation BUT it's many non technical people who worship those plasticboxes *cough apple (standing in line for newest swetshop plastic box). i DONT speak to poeple while holding a smartphone or even use social media ... technology is ment to serve ... meditate, move youre meatsack(body) and become more mindful of what you are doing

@bestbotreview 5 жыл бұрын

Millions in prop bets Just one email away to shut up lil bro Andre plz

@TheEpicAverageMan 6 жыл бұрын

The big hole was from that thickness good god

@blackguy6216 2 жыл бұрын

Is it me or is she crazy thick!!!!!🥰

@wesakafortune8201 6 жыл бұрын

I bet she makes a lot of people wanna get busy

@Pan_Samochodzik 6 жыл бұрын

Another diluded busy supermum. Either you want family and look after them or go to work like men do every day. Can't do both well at the same time and we can all see the cost every day. Stop trying to justify the fact that you want it all at the same time.

@MegaWeronika21 6 жыл бұрын

Tomasz H the problem is world expect women nowadays to work as much as men do not appreciate women who stay at home " doing nothing "

@futureboy7372 6 жыл бұрын

Caffeine is a he'll of a drug

@SpyTrader1988 4 жыл бұрын

Damn. Now that’s a woman 😍😘

@doozerace 4 жыл бұрын

Awesome talk..... But I would be remiss, if I didn't mention how gorgeous her figure is....all woman, indeed.......Lord!

@Christianpreaching 6 жыл бұрын

her speech sounds scripted to me

@richlaue 5 жыл бұрын

Of course it is, they are required to have their speech memorized and must be said within a specific time period.

@homosapien988 6 жыл бұрын

hakuna ma curves akadai

@Tagnar 6 жыл бұрын

This talk is pretty much a waste of time talk. Truism only. "Get off the phone go talk to people". 14 minutes of stuff that everyones heard for thousand times.

@lisam4879 5 жыл бұрын

Maybe it needs to be repeated though

@AtheismF7W 6 жыл бұрын

Proud single mother? What are you proud about, achieving single mother status?

@topdog91 5 жыл бұрын

Usual shallow drivel based on her projection complex. I'm going to stop clicking on their bait which disappoints every time. Ironically, the overrated Ted is one of the biggest timesinks out there.

@markmark7898 6 жыл бұрын

blah blah blah blah blah blah. money buys happiness. NEVER GIVE UP GO FORWARD NO MATTER WHAT

@yayyay7076 3 жыл бұрын

Thicc

@mgtowbro917 6 жыл бұрын

Hit it and quit it...

@michellewatts7785 5 жыл бұрын

that dress looks so bad on her I can't deal with it, i'm outta here

@allybally0021 4 жыл бұрын

LOL....dont bother trying your luck on the stock market.

@christian361 4 жыл бұрын

Wrong

@Needsleep777 4 жыл бұрын

I think she’s gorgeous

@oui2611 Жыл бұрын

she's either pregnant or on testosterone

@jimbojimbo6873 3 жыл бұрын

I mean… she may as well have wore nothing

@angelicavlad4743 5 жыл бұрын

Did she looked in the mirror before she want on the stage? That dress is way to small for her. She looks horrible.

@richlaue 5 жыл бұрын

Agreed

@SuperSpeedMonkey 6 жыл бұрын

Is weight gain one of the costs?

@tecomaman 5 жыл бұрын

her dress is too tight ,

@jonbassett2135 7 жыл бұрын

why are people stoics?

@Cathy-xi8cb 4 жыл бұрын

Her version of "busyness" is a middle class state. Ask someone who is a single mom of young kids, working 2 jobs and helping her older parents, whether she is doing things to feel "good" about herself. She is scrambling to survive. She isn't addicted. The speaker should spend some time with people out of her immediate circle.

@Alex-dk9jr 3 жыл бұрын

That’s a Woman

@timothyty7630 6 жыл бұрын

Nice hourglass figure, wow

@blackworldtraveler3711 6 жыл бұрын

TY Look like a pregnant figure to me.

@dbcooperfly 6 жыл бұрын

What a woman should look like

@user-yi7ez6lf4z 3 жыл бұрын

It helped that her dress is transparent. such cringe

@zebunker 7 жыл бұрын

Dress is way too small for that size of girl.

@RedroomStudios 7 жыл бұрын

baloney. you have insecurity issues.

@outerlimitsurvey 6 жыл бұрын

I have a sister-in-law in the rag business (designer/pattern maker) and one of her pet peeves is people wearing clothes that do not. Every time she saw a shirt gap between buttons or not stay tucked in or clothes that ride up she would point it out that it didn't fit right. All that said, this is meant to be a clingy dress. I'm guessing your problem is more that her figure does not live up to your expectations so you want her to wear a tent to hide it. For those of us who like women with curves we like the way her dress fits and appreciate her shape.

@PoeLemic 6 жыл бұрын

I think she is beautiful, whether the dress fits perfectly or not. I only wish that I had a girlfriend or wife as smart and as beautiful as that Ms. Hayes -- her boyfriend / husband is definitely fortunate and lucky. So, bury the negative & useless comments and find something worthwhile and important to say.

@Changeworld408 6 жыл бұрын

you are professional psychologist?

@richlaue 5 жыл бұрын

@@RedroomStudios no he is honestly looking at the stomach, that dress is not appropriate for her

@futureboy7372 6 жыл бұрын

Divorced single and a son