For the record, there are numerous gay relationships too and I'm just fine with them. Don't let my thumbnail confuse you. I only chose the male/female symbols because I'm speaking about my own personal experiences.

"Being told you're manipulating a situation to get what you want, when you don't even know what's going on." OMG, THIS! SO MUCH THIS!

I just want to throw out there, that I have been married to an aspie for 8 years and have never been happier. He is the most wonderful man and 100% completes me.

I love how you end all these videos with "You deserve to be happy." Almost makes me cry to hear someone say it, even if it's not directed at me in particular.

I just have to mention this. I was so clueless about romantic relationships that when I first met my wife and started spending time with her I considered her a friend and didn't realize we were dating until someone asked me where my girlfriend was and without thinking I responded with her location. Still don't know when the friendship transitioned to a romance. She thought I was joking when I eventually asked her if it was okay I did so but it was and since we're married 27 years later you can guess how things eventually worked out.

"You should have known" is the most stupid and *_useless_* response to a subjective topic.

I left high school because a group of popular girls and their mothers had bullied me to the point that the principal called the police suspecting I would become a school shooter, instead of just addressing the bullying. I had no idea I had autism at the time. It's abundantly clear to me now as a 30 year old that everyone else seemed to know before I did.

Sounds like you need someone who is mature, and can verbally express when you have done something wrong. Not some child who just plays the silent treatment.

Well, that explains a few things about my high school years.

i really wish our society was taught to tell others (especially when growing up) if they act weird and how they can improve instead of talking behind their backs and bullying them.

My AS is the reason why I am single at age 30. I feel like I was born in the wrong world.

The scenario where a woman is giving the silent treatment to his boyfriend who doesn't know what he did wrong is very common with neurotypicals too. I think the problem is that stupid belief that your partner should know you well enough to read your mind if they really is ''the one''

I'm gonna be brutaly honest here. I do not have AS. I don't even really know anyone with AS. In fact, I've always had a problem even understanding what AS is. And, again being really honest, have been quite dismissive and ignorant to it. I've watched all 4 of your videos now and even though I may never completely understand, I do feel like I learned a lot and gained at least a bit of understanding. Thank you for sharing.

I'm a female with AS and this video REALLY speaks to me. In middle and high school I was more or less Asexual. I wasn't interested in sex or being in a relationship whatsoever during those times, so I never experienced stuff like my first kiss or my first boyfriend like many others because I simply wasn't interested. I'm 22 years old now and even though I still haven't experienced any of those things, I'm definitely a LOT more open than I was in the past. I experience attraction and sexual pleasure in my own ways, mostly through crushes I have on fictional characters. I know many of you may think that's weird or creepy, but it's worked for me and has helped me become more open and curious about these types of things. As of right now, I still don't feel mentally ready for a committed real life relationship, but I do hope that one day I'll meet the right guy and experience this kind of stuff first hand. Thank you for making this vid dude, really am sorry those kids and that teacher treated you like that, your a nice guy who totally deserves respect, you have mine 100% :)

My boyfriend has AS and introduced me to your channel. Watching your channel have given me a better understanding of him and his AS and AS in general. It has been very helpful and I'm glad to be a subscriber!!

Yes we feel emotions we just struggle to express them.

I'm in a gay relationship with an aspie. It took a lot of patience and empathy to build. Clear and direct communication is absolutely necessary. And remember that sometimes your aspie partner simply needs space, and you have to give it to them in order to help them.

I'm going through a bad moment right now, and this video is exactly what i needed.

I had much of the same problem with girls and sexual harassment in High School, although it was worse since at the time since somehow they were all under the impression that I was rich. However, my reaction was to actively push people away since I both aware and humiliated by my own form of high-functioning autism (PDD-NOS) in addition to falling into a very deep depression and nearly dropping out of school. This ironically gave everyone the false impression that I thought I was "too good for them" and I was a "snobby asshole". The last the two years of High School turned into a such a living hell with one group of girls taking it upon themselves to "take him down a peg".

Max, 18 and 58 year old you would be very proud of you.

These videos are honestly amongst the most helpful AS content on KZfaq. Please make more!

People judge each other so fast. I mean, I'm guilty of it, too, so is everyone else, but it's really something to think about. The guy I like is autistic and he's made me realize so much about social interaction. It's much healthier to handle problems by talking about it instead of just holding it back until you snap and stop talking to someone. I've been reading a lot on asperger's, too, so that I understand better and find my ways to deal with it. So basically, what I want to share with you people out there: Imagine someone you care about does something that upsets you and they don't realize it. Whenever you think about them there is something overshadowing all the good experiences you had with them and as you keep thinking about it, it gets more and more apparent and seemingly important. You're thinking that it should be obvious to them that they made you feel bad. You don't want to tell them because you don't feel like talking to them at all anymore. You start to distance yourself and you two drift apart. Another scenario: it bothers you and it builds up, but as soon as you realize that it keeps feeling worse and worse you just tell them. Yes, it can be hard for many people. I don't feel comfortable when I try to work things out with people, either. I get terrible shakey and I need to pull myself together in order to listen to them the way I want them to listen to me. And I'm not saying they will always agree, but either way you're out in the open. But look at what could happen if you snap one day. If there's anything that bothers you a lot, go talk to someone, okay? :>

The whole thing about the girls's perspective in relationships, I think is a little more complicated for ASD havers. I myself have ASD, have been diagnosed for a while. When i was younger (elementary-middle school), I found that a lot of boys liked my very quiet and shy nature (symtom of ASD) and that even though I was harrased by bullies, I would never do anything bad back to them. However, in highschool years, my naivety, once found cute and innocent, turned outright weird to other people. Like, I personally wasn't actively looking for a relationship and I DEFINITELY wasn't emotionally/mentally ready for one either (just got out of an abusive childhood so I was already probably worse off than 'normal' ASD kids). I remember that I used to question certain actions or ask why other girls in my class would try to 'get jiggy with' other boys (forgive my oldie talk I swear I'm not that old), this constant questioning of what is perceived as 'normal' behavior is what eventually got me socially isolated. However, poor little ol' me didn't understand the concept of shunning and isolation, so I kept bugging people about stuff to the point where (I assume was) a popular girl outright slapped me in the face and called me weird (I'm not entirely sure why, but I think it was because I would hang out with bullied/heavily disabled kids for lunch and stuff or something I don't know), whatever the reason, it definitely got me no longer talking about stuff like that. Most of my actual relationships that have happened only started with an interest in my naivety and innocence, only to end when they realised that I was ASD and couldn't exactly handle a normal relationship. I do remember this fellow ASD gaining a crush on me, and I didn't mind, but then I realized that they had been stalking me so that ended quickly. Like, really quickly. I'm sorry mate, but I can't have you peeping through my windows and having you watch my really cringey live performance of Avril's songs. I don't know, could just be me but I have absolutely no luck with relationships. Or could it be *jumps up on table and then jumps down* an Autistic thing?? I hate myself so much lol. (P.S love your vids!)

This is the type of content KZfaq needs.

After 30-something years of living in a confused haze, slowly deteriorating and not understanding why beyond "I'm just depressed" or "I'm just a bad person." specifically because of these videos I have had the shocking realization that I'm probably on the spectrum. The more I learn about the behaviors HFA folk exhibit the more things in my past make sense. Before this series I thought MAYBE I could be. Say, 25% possibility. After part 1, I jumped to maybe 60%. I'm at 85% and rising now. Certainly can't afford a diagnosis and it wouldn't gain me anything anyway, but just seeing so much that fits my experience has been... well, both illuminating and deeply angering. The anger will pass. Any symptoms I exhibited as a child would have been lost amongst the noise of all the other tragedy going on my life, and in the 80s/90s autism was still something not heavily in the public consciousness. The best I can figure is I'm either a mild case, or I'm of a sort that picked up on the imitation game early and learned to pass as NT reflexively. Anyway, thanks for these. I'm showing them to the few people I have left to try to help explain why I'm such a damn weirdo. Are you planning on doing one on burn out?

.....I teared up a little at the "you deserve to be happy" line.

I’m a 15 year old girl with AS, love these videos so much ❤️

I confess I wasn't expecting much but got mindblown by the amount of details and efficiency in displaying these on the right time. Great video, subbed. On my experiences on this topic it is even a bit funny how many failures can occur in communication between us aspies and neurotypicals. I can't tell how many women: -Thought I liked them and wanted to start a relationship with them even though I just wanted to be friends. -Thought I didn't like them or didn't care about them even though I saw them as attractive, interesting and wanted to know more about them. I can't tell how many people thought I was angry at them because I didn't talk much, when in reality I really liked them but avoided talking too much so I didn't offend them by some reason I didn't grasp at first. On my first and only relationship to this moment I always had this problem you spoke about doing or not doing something that end up offending my partner. So I always tried to talk to her every day, always worrying about how she was and how was her day, to avoid being a "bad partner". I did that so much that I forgot about my own well-being, my own comfort, I was always afraid of doing things wrong since all my life everyone pointed fingers at me for never getting things right. The relationship was very very veeeery unhealthy for me and I had to end it because I couldn't stand the stress of having her not happy about me and never finding out how to fix the problems that never ceased to exist. So as a 24 year's old asperger's. I have this tip I use on everyday basis. People always try to point out the problems on communication as if it were all our own fault, but neurotypicals aren't any perfect either. We can respect and be polite all we want, but there will still be people that will get offended just because of how we look/say/move. So don't blame yourselves for being different. Give room for those who get offended by stupid reasons and be friends with the few that accept you by who you are. Respect yourself just as much you want to respect your loved ones. Simplifying: Be nice to yourself and nice to others, and keep haters away.

I am a girl with Asperger's an I'm of the belief that I may have accidentally rejected a few boys in highschool because I believed they where joking and that I wasn't wanted like that.

I want to cry but I can't in my current state, and instead I'm just very agitated and in a mix of emotions I can't tell. I wrote and erased my comment several times, trying to explain my personal experience, but for now I just wanted to thank you for sharing yours, especially when it comes to arrassment, it helped me a lot.

I can't tell you how encouraging it is, to me personally, to see so many young folk who have been diagnosed. Knowledge is power my friends. Take that knowledge and use to make yourselves better people.

just discovered your channel and i'm loving your videos dude. you explain whats its like so well an i find it comforting to know there's others who understand. growing up, especially as an early teen, i always had the feeling i was different to most, shy and not good at social interaction, intense interests that others didn't seem to get. only around the age of 18 i read an article about asperger's and was like, holy shit, this is me!. though i've never been officially diagnosed. i'm in my 20's now and its been hard, especially living in a society where ppl are quick to generalize and call you a weirdo or place you in one socially deviant box or the other. its easier when you're at least aware of how you're perceived and know that its how your brain works and try to flow with it. a word of advice to others. just be you. accept that you are who you are and do whatever brings you joy, awkwardness and all, its what life is about. even when talking to girls (boys), be yourself. like Max says, some chicks dig it! anyway man, kudos to you to spreading the awareness. much love

Speaking as a woman on the autism spectrum, I've had problems too. Men tend to find me intimidating, aggressive and "weird", and I've been sexually harassed by other women who seemed to think that they could intimidate or coerce me into being their "partner." I was subjected to repeated physical assaults while I was in school (and was basically ignored when I complained about it...first they tried to convince me that my attackers were only "exploring their sexuality" and then I was accused of "making up stories" when that didn't shut me up) and later I was subjected to "social skills training" in which I was expected to watch "meaningful" movies that were essentially lesbian softcore porn and allow the worker to groom me and choose outfits for me (usually tight, uncomfortable clothes that I really rather disliked but these women considered "sporty") and engage in "fitness" activities in which the bitches in charge would do nothing except sit on the sideline and make crude and inappropriate comments about my performance and physical appearance.I've also been stalked by some of my housemates, and while I was pregnant with my son I was chased down the street by a particularly loud and offensive woman who screamed at me that I was hideous and that I should go get an abortion. I think it is important to teach basic human biology and appropriate social behavior to people on the autism spectrum, but it is just as important to teach these skills to neurotypical people, especially those who apparently fetishize autism spectrum people and consider having one of us as their "partner" some sort of status symbol.

i relate with some of the things you say, when she remains silent and dont tell you what you did wrong, and because we can't get social clues unless we are told how to, you don't get them. One if the reasons i hate having AS

Being gay and with Aspergers, this video was correct in every way. Just inverted. I was inexperienced in romance, sex, and reading body language. When I was young I was diagnosed for Aspergers, and was not aware what it was until I noticed my interaction with people. Not looking them in the eyes was once such offense were the date thought I was uninterested. It was really tough. I had to overcome a lot of personal anxiety, and still am today. Being in countless relationships I have been suffering on emotional attachment. Some have forced themselves on me, and even used my naivetés to use me for sex. As I have been used so many times it is mentally scarring to me. Now that I am older relationships are hard for me to the point of i am afraid of physical contact. I then took therapy countless times and it is just jarring. It was a double whammy when I had to come out to my father after my mother died of cancer. It was hard for me to say to my dad: "hey I am gay". Someone with Aspergers, this was doomsday. I wanted to die. But I held on and just went with the punches. I wanted to move on with my life, find a job, etc.

Hey man, just wanted to say Thanks for making these videos, they've really helped me in understanding my condition, which started around this time last year, whereby 2 months after having turned 22, my bottom lip would twitch - involuntarily quiver, without warning - when looking at people in the eye, something which I had no issue with other than the fact I wouldn't maintain proper eye contact, though I had been working on that for about a year prior to the condition. This caused a lot of issues, such as a loss in confidence, then personhood, motivation and work ethic, and finally, at it's worse, followed up by suicidal ideation and then a serious attempt in turning those thoughts into reality. I haven't been diagnosed yet, but after seeing your video on eye contact, I researched into it, and it seems as if I have a lot of traits of AS such as an excessive need to problem-solve, bad handwriting, and social awkwardness. I understand however that nothing should replace an official diagnosis. However - and this must not go understated - that video was absolutely paramount in helping me understand my issue, as it did what 5 GP's and one ADHD specialist could not do, which was give me anything close to, if not a possible solution, nor an answer after that, then at least a lead, no matter how faint, as to what may be the cause of my condition. They all said it was in my head, even though I detested vehemently that it was not, even though I had told them I had gone through the ring more than most people when it comes to both trying to do something you want to do but can't (because of anxiety, stuttering, and depression), as well as being in a constant struggle with impulses that you always give into even though you don't want to, due to lifelong condition of tic disorder (which can be seen as, though only loosely, as a mild form of turrets). I should then, at least with respects to my own mind, be held as the undisputed expert between distinguishing what is purely psychological from the physiological/neurological, but unfortunately, no one would even consider my viewpoint about my own condition and my own mind. Fortunately, however, soon after hitting rock bottom, upon which I contemplated the value of my life, I found that video, the one on eye contact, as well as the others you've made, which really offered some peace of mind, but more importantly, some hope that I can get an official diagnosis and thus seek some professional help. Heck, even if it's not Aspergers, it's something of a similar nature. That itself is a good place to start; infinitely better than nowhere to begin at all. Anyway, I guess am sort of rambling, I just wanted to say Thanks. So Thanks.

This was a great video to watch from the perspective of another person with AS. Such a find that it was randomly in feed but I'm happy to have clicked on this. Thank you for the video.

About the reaction for the “I see a pretty girl thing”, I’d just run for it and hide somewhere.

17 year old aspie here, what you've described in this video is very similar to situations I've found myself in throughout my adolesent years. Only recently have I begun to develop a proper awareness regarding such things. I really appreciate this video as I thought I might be the only one with these particular struggles (of course not though) thanks so much for making this series! P.S. your government conspiracy analogy was apt

How those girls treated you was not right at all

Not being able to read a females queues and body language is hardly unique to those with Asperger's. The only difference I see between you and I in that regard. I'm able to tell when she's doing it intentionally. Other than that, there's nothing ether of us can do to "fix the problem". All you can do is let them calm down on their own and approach with caution later.

I really can relate. I too have AS and I was rejected by my high school friends. When I left high school to go to college, well I wouldn't talk to anyone because I knew I wouldn't fit in. Now i am in university and i do not care what other people think

Max, I love your channel. I have autism myself and your channel has really been making me happy. You’re awesome! You deserve happiness and love. 👍❤️😃

Im glad you brang up the livestream in your video man. As i said in the PM, you have helped alot of people already with this series. Even the last specialist i seen during my diagnosis is now using your videos with his patients and their parents.

I'm a AS. I'm 54 now. i never try to have a relationship.

Having AS, dificulty with understanding body language, expressing my emotions, and being naively innocent are the biggest obstacles for me when it comes to trying to have any relationships with people. I would be sexually harassed too, man. When you said that it almost made me cry. This video has given me second-hand embarrassment.

Another great video Max! Thank you for doing this and spreading awareness about AS :)

Love your content. Despite your setback and difficult experiences, you are such an intelligent and aware person, and while us aspies need to ‘learn’ most social behaviour, it really sounds like you have made leaps and bounds in your progress with this and tbh, listening to your videos, nothing about how you speak and communicate stands out as anything but regular to me, but I am the person who has only realised they may be on the spectrum in the last year and I’m 44! Hahahaha. It was severe social anxiety in my 14 year old son that got me researching and many light bulb moments followed…. Keep doing what your doing 👍

Reminds me of my highschool experience, but it can be overcome. Just because human behaviour isn't instinctive to us, doesn't mean we can't learn to interpret it correctly, the way a biologist would with a species it's studying. Just look for patterns. Also quit giving a shit what people think of you, it's none of your business. The eye contact problem can be easier to fix than you would think, but can take time and patience. Go to a mall everyday for a half hour to an hour, and just walk through it forcing yourself to hold eye contact with women you walk past until they break it (don't turn your head to do it, just follow with your eyes), also make eye contact with waitresses and casheirs when ordering/paying, and look for smiles. Pay attention to what you were doing when you have bad reactions (which will be the majority at first) vs good. Once you can get to the point that you can make eye contact it will make a world of difference when it comes to both your confidence, and social anxiety. It also flips the power dynamic with women, seemingly more so the better looking they are.

yo your videos are so interesting!! You have such a unique way to see things wich is very realistic, and you explained so well!

I was recently diagnosed with Asperger's, and I've never realized how much I fit the diagnosis until after I watched your series! It also make me feel a lot better knowing that it's not just me! I'm sorry about the girls harassing you and I know exactly what that's like as well!

I think you're awesome man! You present yourself in a way that I thought not many people with Aspergers Syndrome could, I'm not sure if you spent a long time practicing or not but impressed either way.

I was diagnosed with AS when i was five years old. Your video made alot of sense man.

This video came out the day after I got into a relationship. The stars are in line.

This brought me to tears, it was such an apt description of my male AS's life. And mine too, as an Aspie.

Having been diagnosed with asd when I was 20. Hearing your stories and other experiences makes me feel so... seen and like all of my experiences werent just singular to me. Its so nice.

It’s really weird how relatable this is. My group of friends also has members of LGBT and sexually active musicians, and other outcasts in general, and I only really fit with them because of my awkwardness and having weird interests. One of the girls harasses me in the same ways you told me and i don’t know what to do every time. I’m also incredibly paranoid on every situation and even though I like to interact with people, it usually leaves a bad taste on my mouth unless I’m with people I really trust. time to get better friends I guess

Boy! Thank you for showing these flaws out #respect ! Stand tall as I can relate to your life . It's started out for your mgs2 coverage !

I've been watching your videos for about a week, and now I know I have AS. I'm almost 30 and, honestly, the arts have taught me all I need to know about socialization (except for intimacy). But, It is nice to view my life through a different lens - one that's not me constantly playing catch-up. Thanks.

Your first video in this series opened my eyes to the possibility that I might have AS. The world started making sense, finally. Thank you, because now I have a way to google what has worked for other people. (For the record, I always sort of knew I was a weird loner, but started emphasizing it and seeing it as a point of pride early on. Now the parts of humaning ('adulting' doesn't cover the same skillset) I was always bad at simply have the right umbrella term to fall under - and maybe humaning will also get easier with the right lifehacks. This is what your videos have given me. It's really valuable.)

This is the first time I hear this similar kind of story to mine during my younger years. Thank you for sharing.

One rule for Aspies: Stay as far away from the PUA community as possible. It will do you far more harm than good. Both long-term and short term. Edit: This comes from personal experience as an aspie.

These videos really helped me, thank you so much. I think the live stream idea is fantastic!

Your story mirrors mine a great deal. There are a number of differences, of course. In particular, I also experienced not understanding the terms for various aspects of sexually related topics. This wound up causing one of my most embarrassing moments in my schooling. @Max I am glad you were able to get the diagnosis and begin to move past the problems you faced. Unfortunately, I wasn't diagnosed until I was 38 years old... However, better late than never.

I'm a high functioning autistic. I've had a feeling I was weird since at least the age of 8, and my life's goal was to hide that fact. As a result I was always on the look out for what was 'wrong' with me, and how I might mask and/or change my problematic aspects. And I succeeded to a very large extent, to the point where when I self diagnosed as having Asperger's in my mid thirties (1995 or about) and told friends and family they told me I was crazy, that that wasn't me. And so I let it go. It was when AS was classified under autism spectrum disorder that the dominoes fell. From the moment I discovered that I knew it was true about me. I went to have myself diagnosed and actually found it difficult to find a professional who could do the job. Seems there are many who do the job for children, but it's much tougher to find a person who can diagnose autism in adults. Anyway I was finally diagnosed at age 53. Looking back at my life it's a wonder to me that I recognized and corrected for so many aspects of my autism. I was not 100% effective and not being diagnosed for so long was a terrible existential burden on me, but that was to large extent internal, and to the world at large I was fairly well functioning. As a result the journey, I no longer feel there is anything wrong with me. I am just a bit different from the typical expression of the genome, with strengths and weaknesses like any other person.

This is so true. I am very well adapted but still have issues. This video perfectly explains why.

Thanks for making this series of videos, it's very insightful. I'm 29 and was only diagnosed a year ago. By now, it's hard for me to know for myself what character traits can be attributed to AS because I never knew there was an underlying cause. In primary school, I think I was pretty normal, I wasn't unpopular or weird in any way that I remember. Throughout secondary school, I grew very quiet and reclusive, largely due to bullying (classic case of preying on the weak which made me even more insecure and defenseless). It got better towards the end but it still feels like those six years somehow activated my autism. I specifically remember my final year's history teacher saying that an alien would've had to land in class for there to be someone as quiet as me. I never got tested because no one ever suggested it, and personally I just thought I was a bit funny and awkward. One of my cousins is severely autistic (rage, obviously communicatively impaired, etc). Basically he can't function by himself, whereas I can, and even with my diagnosis people often say that I don't look autistic. I guess I suffered in comparison to him and that's the reason why no one in my family ever considered that I could also be autistic. I've had a hunch for a long time but for whatever reason I just pushed it aside. When I finally did get tested, I was more afraid of not being autistic, because then it would seem like I had been faking it and that there wasn't anything 'wrong' with me. Getting diagnosed definitely helped me understand why I am the way I am but every day is still a learning process. My dad told me several times to come out of my shell more, to be more assertive and ambitious and what not. I've had two serious relationships, one of which ended two days ago. Financial issues were always a thing because I can't just do any job, something which is hard to explain without being considered lazy or attention-seeking. I like being in a relationship more than I like being alone, but then again I have never really been/lived on my own, largely because it scares me to have to take care of everything myself without someone around to fall back on. I like meeting new people and I enjoy the process of getting to know someone but there are so many stupid ways in which I could deter someone, probably without even realizing it myself. I don't know where I'm going with this, I guess some of you can relate to it.

I started listening to this series yesterday. Thank you so much for this! It explains so much about my awkwardness regarding sexual stuff! Regarding conversations at University, I developed the habit of telling people that I have Asperger's and asking them to let me know if I said or did anything creepy. The people I was talking with seemed to relax a bit, and I've have a couple of behaviors pointed out that I'm trying to get better about.

As a women, that isn't diagnosed with AS, but knows that Im not, nor ever have been "normal", I can still relate so much with your videos. I have an analogous experience with many of yours and hearing your experiences brings back so many memories! I think because of growing up female and having different things drilled into my head and others having the social gender norms that correspond drilled into them, some things are obviously going to differ. I believe maybe I was less egocentric and as I grew up I actually didn't constantly think people were judging me or talking about me like that, but maybe that was part of my naivety. Also, I think the one difference between men and women, especially those with AS or social awkwardness, the women will more likely learn they have trouble reading social cues and body language early on, and dedicate time to observing and categorizing social behaviors to better understand the intentions of others and be able to communicate.

In all honesty mimicry really helped me seem more normal for the better part of my childhood I behaved in ways that got responses from people I then watched and tried to mimic this and through time I thought myself how to behave more normally to a point where slot of my close friends don't even recognize any large abnormalities and see me as a fairly normal people who is quote "eccentric" and "quirky" and even when I tell them about have autism they sometimes think I am joking around. But one of the things I learned either way is people are very receptive of someone who smiles and laughs a lot which is one of the first things I picked up from others but when I was younger people said I tried too hard to be funny. That being that mimicry from my experience is a great way to train yourself to be less socially awkward but it takes awhile and is poor in the short term as it took me a life time to seem "normal".

This is an incredibly cool channel. I'm sorry you were treated like that by those girls, that really REALLY sucks. I'm not an aspergian, but I'm subbing because this is an awesome place. Thank you for being you!

I'm old, introverted and at this point I have learned to compensate internally so much that I don't care if I make new relationships or not. Well that's not entirely true. I really DO care about how I come off, but I've become good at suppressing those feelings of insecurity. But the stories I could tell from my youth. With the exception of a couple blind dates and the woman I eventually married, every other relationship with a female that I have had has involved me being "adopted" by the girl as a friend or boyfriend because I was "quirky" and they liked that. And I always felt like I destroyed every relationship that didn't stick due to my own lack of social graces and the same quirkiness. Thank you for explaining this topic in a nonthreatening way. Thank you for sharing the autism questionnaire. The results were eye opening as was the follow-up quiz on how well I've learned to cope by masking myself to fit in society.

Already diagnosed decades ago, but this video will help when explain to others, so I saved it to my phone and Amazon Fire 8, so I can pull it out when needed. Thanks

I have AS, and I don't feel the need to conform to societal norms. I simply left society for the most part and I am happier now. No friends, no girlfriend. I live out in the middle of the desert and have a simple 2 day a week job with little stress involved. I love my dog, but I don't like people. My path to happiness was to simply remove all the stress points from my life. It works. I guess I was lucky enough to have a good IT job for 16 years that allowed me to afford to finally disconnect from society and move to the desert. Delivering pizza 2 days a week is much less stressful than an IT job 5 days a week, but if an AS person needs a full time job, an IT job isn't a bad way to go. Everyone expects their computer guy to be a little strange I guess. P.S. My score was 40 on the autism test.

Hi Max, I have AS and I really like your video. I went through similar experiences as you growing up. I was diagnosed with AS when I was 9 or 10, but I didn’t really know or understood that I had AS when I was 25. I’m 34 now. I believe that I can understand social cues better now and talking to women and stuff has been a work in progress and I always to get better at it.

Great video, Max. It sucks not being in the know when it comes to how your behavior is interpreted by others and they just put up a mask in your presence. You can't even gauge how off-the-mark you are in that atmosphere, let alone find out what you need to do to improve your social skills. Often times, the best-case scenario is learning these skills in an unorthodox manner, such as the PUA community, well after your school days have gone by.

I gave up on relationships a long time ago. It was always too complicated, too much effort and not worth it. I'm much happier being as independent as I can be.

I started dating Filipinas cause their culture matches my personality. I had so many times I ran from aggressive girls here and was teased many times for not being interested in women. I was even told by my friends they thought I was gonna be a school shooter before they got to know me and found out how nice I am.

Just came from your recent video on "Getting over It (Most inspirational videogame...)" and started watching your series on Autism, and i now really wanted to thank you for this one in particular. Your story on sexual harrassment really clicked for me. (I'm really sorry, i'm about to write my personal long-winded rant for the year) In my case i had a male friend back in high school senior year who started dating a few of my female classmates, given the "dating a few people in 1 year", none of those relationships lasted for very long, but also the maturity necessary to pair with other people for "the right reasons" was missing, so one of those classmates he dated started trying to set me up as a middleman to get back with that friend since i was the main "social road" to get to him. Initially it was akward questions trying to get a hint of his emotional state, but later on it started devolving into trying to set me up instead as a emotional-sexual tampon in public. Things like grabing my hand and putting it on her chest to "feel how nervous she was from her heartbeat", or throwing uncomfortable compliments on any of my physical features, all the way to spanking me in public. She made it so that she could storm off immediately after spanking me, which left me without the ability to really call her out and set my boundaries. I know i should've stood my ground, but my mind always went blank for things like this or banter, so i was left angry without really knowing how to get that anger off my chest. I was lucky for at very least i was able to get some of it out without it becoming a meltdown, but in was far from a perfect "giving her a piece of my mind", for also that it was only 2 girls that tried to use me as middleman (instead of every girl my friend dated, or more) and that the 2nd girl is one of the few moments where i can say thay i went beyond my inner mental tendencies for one moment, and properly told her to "f*ck off". Anyways, thank you very much for your work Max. Have a great day man.

I think you have done a superb job of analysing your experience. There's a lot I can relate to and also remember getting to the point when I just wanted to avoid any chance of getting into an intimate relationship as I just knew I would fail. You can get away with it a little bit with friends, but if you are 'off' from social norms it really gets noticed when people are thinking about serious relationships. I've slowly improved and I do notice that these days I am able to have more positive relationships with people, but still find I need to play it safe. I at least feel better knowing that people I've met more recently don't end with me giving any creepy or bad vibe, but I still can't tell if they would like me in a more intimate way so I find I just have to leave it there as I don't want to risk it all turning ugly and then both of us walking away with negative feelings.

7:25 now that makes me glad i was diagnosed at a young age.. now, if i do go through that sort of thing ill know why and not have to feel so bad about it.

Hi. I am a male with Aspergers. I know a girl about a year older than me that also has Aspergers. We tend to like the same topics and we are actually quite similar, although we've not talked about romance yet. I think I really like her, we've known each-other for a few months and I see her twice every week at school. My question is, do couples with Aspergers work together? If you can't answer here that's okay, but I might ask again on your livestream that you said you might do.

I have been in a relationship with a man with AS for over a year and a half. I have some backround in psychology so i was able to identity what was going on with him and understand what his behaviours where. How ever on an emotional level i find myself mostly helpless and its been a rollercoaster. Videos like yours really help me understand him better as an emotional person. When you said the thing about the partner not being able to assess how the relationship is going i burst in to tears. I know he tries to make me happy and i see that he is a loving and good person but sometimes its hard especially when you throw my own emotional insecuritys in to the mix. On the up side alot of the quarks he has seem to be naturally complimatery for my kind of perseality. Im always more then willing to explain exactly whats bothering for example he. I also despise emotional platitudes when something bad happens or i get depressed he just holds me and lets me talk untill i feel better. So maybe its just a matter of finding a personality that will work best with yours. Anyway your videos are awsome and informative. Thank you for that

I love your video! You’re so strong, intelligent, humble, kind, and you have mastered communication skills! (And you didn’t sound weird lol I only say that bc of how you said you would cringe when turning away and worry). No for real though I’m serious, and I know you said you don’t want to be complimented but it’s so true and I think you should hear it. I can imagine that day in class was horrible for you, I was picturing how terrible and alone you must you felt. I hate that. You’re really cool and you’re a great ambassador for people with Aspergers. Thank you for your videos I just subscribed and am going to watch more 🍀

I remember in middle and high school girls found they could easily make me blush and embarrass me by acting flirtatious or slapping my ass in front of people. This was annoying, but kind of fun too. What I didn't like though was when I worked up the courage to flirt back they would react in a negative way, like they didn't want me to actually take them up on their advances. Of course I was awkward and just not good at flirting or interacting at all, so that's probably what turned them off. Not boasting here, honestly, but I'm also an attractive guy and I didn't know it until my mid 20s. I learned to be short with women because I always seemed to discourage or disappoint them within the first couple sentences of conversation, like they wanted me to react in a particular way when they approached me. I'm tired of disappointing women with my awkwardness, so for a while I've just been acting like I don't notice their advances or that I'm too busy, but I notice that just makes them feel sad or offended. I don't like the feeling of being a failure or a bad person because I didn't validate or properly impress a woman. It's turned me into a hermit. I'm planning on attaining a comfortable enough income to travel to Las Vegas and finally become familiar with intimate interaction by hiring a good few hookers, maybe after that normal interaction will become more easy going, with any luck.

I don't even get the benfit of being handsome, athletic or fit. No girl would ever want me. And my aspergers would always get in the way every time. I'm at the point where I would rather be isolated from humanity at all times because it is impossible to converse with someone and get what I want out of it at all. I'm only 16. I have no desire to have a relationship at all in my life. Never have so far. I stee relationships as a burden. A weight of pressure constantly pushing down. And having a partner just takes away life possibilities and wealth. I would rather create something physically good for humanity or the world than have an average relationship with someone and do nothing with my life. The world is over populated as it is so I don't need to contribute to population. In the current era anyways, there is soo much possibility of getting into an argument with a wife or girlfriend and she can easily ruin your life in an instant. Everyone believes the girl and welcomes her. No one listens to the man or back him even if innocent.

These videos have been such a fascinating psychological journey for me.

I like that idea, its nice to find someone else who understands.

not be a musician, i missed out on the orgy like parties :), but the creepy comment and awkward moments are very relateable, its not because we are creepy,we are NOT thinking weird rapey thoughts at all, it's just because we dont know what to say in social situations that wont lead to something embarrassing for ourselves, so we just keep our mouths shut.

Max can you do one on friend level relationships?

Have AS and you have impire me to become one of the top 2k gamers out there so thank u bro! 🔥💯🙏🏿🏀

6:57 - “You should have known” …with what social acceptance and experience? Is it any wonder people on the spectrum have to resort to self help books? The gatekeeping and contempt is unbelievable at times. Max, thank you so much for your efforts on this channel. Most of us that struggle with AS never get understood unless someone else accurately states the problem for us. (ie., they’ll be receptive if someone else says it, but not if we say it ourselves)

I have asperges and for me when i talk to somebody i am not comfortable with or i like it is like every sentence is a test for a hard class and you did not learn. So if you get something right you think: is this really good? AND IT IS ALWAYS: fuck no, everybody hates you already so why even try, and why whould She even be remotely interseted in you? You cant even do anything right.' so yeah, life is... Amazing

I relate entirely man. Big time. Being awkward, avoiding eye contact, speaking out and discovering that they've been talking about how weird I am. I still experience this in my workplace at my job. The women treat me and call me a weirdo, because of my quirky humor. I put up with it and do my job effeciently, but it still hurts inside to know that's how they see me that way.

I'm in love with a friend of mine who has AS. Thank you for the videos, I'm glad for being able to understand him better (i really don't wanna mess up haha). Also, I have ADHD and sometimes I feel like we have really different ways of thinking and processing stuff, that's why I'm here: I'll try my best to be responsive and more comprehensive. I know intimate relationships can be very stressful for both Aspies and ADHDers, but I'm willing to take a chance on this one! Thanks again for the videos and all the knowledge you've brought me into!

been waiting for this video. romance has been the largest struggle of my life thus far considering i never learned the relevant social cues

❤❤ I'm female.. as you might assume from my name. It would take quiet a bit out of you making these videos I'm guessing.. Thank you for sharing with us.. I didn't realise men on the spectrum could experience these sorts of things too.. I knew dating etc etc would likely be even more awkward for you because normally it's the guy that approaches the girl but didn't realise for some reason that autistic males were vulnerable to sexual harassment etc also.

ugh,... I just had a flashback to that time I wrote a script to confess to the girl I liked...

Another helpful video. Thank you Max. You are very inspiring.

The thing about beating yourself up about things that turn out to not even be your fault...my experiences in life have pushed me to that exact point. You literally just described my life. Edit: admittedly, I posted this before finishing the video. My father is blind, and at his old office when he would walk into a room people would turn the light on for him without even considering the fact that he didn't need it. He used to joke with his coworkers about it. That one caused me to laugh pretty hard. Note: this is the third or fourth video I've watched (and commented on) of yours in about an hour. You, sir, are a god, and you've damned well earned that subscribe.