The Truth Behind Your Fear Of Public Speaking

The Truth Behind Your Fear Of Public Speaking | Mel Robbins

Рет қаралды 174,550

6 жыл бұрын

Ready to unlock your potential? 🚀 bit.ly/2024makeithappen 👈 Sign up for my FREE 2-part training, Make It Happen with Mel Robbins. It’s designed to show you exactly HOW you can go from dreaming to doing!
-
There's a ton of research that estimates 75% of people share the phobia known as glossophobia; more commonly known as the fear of public speaking.
As one of the busiest public speakers in the world, I have learned that when someone says they're afraid of being in front of people and telling their truth, there's usually something much deeper going on.
Not everyone is dealing with the same story you'll see in this video, but when I pulled a woman up on stage with me whose biggest fear is standing up in front of a crowded room, you'll learn that it isn't the speaking that's holding her back.
Watch this entire video, because what starts as a conquering someone's biggest fear ends with learning how to reframe and label our pasts so they no longer have power over our dreams.
-
Catch full episodes of The Mel Robbins Podcast here on KZfaq bit.ly/tmrp_playlist 📺
Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast while you're on-the-go! link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=l... 🎧 Available wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. New episodes drop every Monday (to start your week) and Thursday (to get you through it).
-
Subscribe to the channel here: kzfaq.info?su...
-
Follow me here:
Instagram: / melrobbins
TikTok: / melrobbins
Facebook: / melrobbins
Website: melrobbins.com
-
Want my most popular KZfaq videos sent straight to your inbox? Sign up here: www.melrobbins.com/ytnewsletter
-
Looking for my books on Amazon? Here they are!
High 5 Habit: amzn.to/3fMvfPQ
The 5 Second Rule: amzn.to/3372Rl9

Пікірлер: 185

@happydayz7857 6 жыл бұрын

Frankly, the saying ‘who are you to judge me’ has applied to my public speaking. Fear is rooted in being judged while you’re speaking. As you age, you come to quickly realize that most people are in no position to judge! They’re no one to be giving advice either. Your crowd is full of people with addictions, failed relationships, bad attitudes, dysfunctional and abusive relationships. Turns out, they may not be as smart as you are either. You may be the subject matter expert on the subject you’re speaking about. They may just like you and your sense of wit if you inject humor into your speech. They may be thinking about what to pick up from the store for dinner tonight. We’re all human here. Show your sense of humor, be casual when you speak. Audience members, give the speaker a break, be positive, and realize you have issues you could be harshly judged for too so keep your judgements to yourself.

@moreno0345 3 жыл бұрын

"Who are you to judge me" and " I am a piece of shit, so I have something to say" are my take home note from the video and this comment. Thanks.

@everythingnothing2978 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the advice .

@BriaBarrows 2 жыл бұрын

Yup!

@Veronicastar77 Жыл бұрын

Thank you!! That comment helped me to realize its true and ground myself.

@AABBULLAH511 Жыл бұрын

So true

@onioneyes9500 6 жыл бұрын

I became quiet in fear of being ridiculed when i was a kid... Because i was ridiculed many times... This is so emotional... But thanks to myself and Mel + plus other youtube gurus, I'm on the path of a healthy mentality 🙏

@marylancelot 5 жыл бұрын

Same. Having a speech impediment and a class full of bullies is not a combination I would wish for even my worst enemy.

@sandraweinert3707 Жыл бұрын

I desire so much to speak in what can I do. Help🌚

@ikexrt Жыл бұрын

Negetive self talk is what holds the genius in us back

@hanna1464 5 жыл бұрын

This made me cry 💗 Only who pass through this know how means to overcome this fear

@MAMP 4 жыл бұрын

I love that girl with the microphone. Got me to cry instantly when she stood up.

@busymama7903 6 жыл бұрын

Wow, did this hit home for me! Moved to tears, but this 10 minute wake up call is just what I needed to hear. I too, get panic attack level nervous in front of people, out of fear of not being seen as good enough or smart enough. Going back to when I was little, we moved somewhere where I did not speak or understand the language, so I retreated and spent time alone while all the other kids whispered and laughed at me as they stared at me. I’m pretty sure this helped form the current fear I have of other people looking at me or of being the center of attention, and being completely paralyzed in front of a crowd and not being able to find the words, because in my mind I am 6 years old all over again on the playground surrounded by ridicule and prying eyes. I guess I need to remind myself I am not 6 years old anymore, this is not the playground, I am too smart enough to say something, 5-4-3-2-1 and just do the damn thing! Thank you Mel! ❤️😊

@ninad.7152 4 жыл бұрын

I suffer from glossophobia. Presentations and other public speaking events rock me to the core. Walking up to the podium, my legs feel like a ton of bricks. My body and voice shake and tremble. I'm sweating profusely, the only thing I can hear is my heart beat. One time my sight left me, I just stood there in front of the crowd until it came back. I was so embarrassed and humiliated. I cried myself to sleep.

@leighannesvoice 2 жыл бұрын

Hey, sorry to hear this, are you still struggling in this area? Do you want some tips?

@iwonat1611 2 жыл бұрын

@@leighannesvoice i do struggle with this as well

@janestanslaus2517 2 жыл бұрын

Honestly my issue is the sweating and voice trembling otherwise I would be fine but how do you go on when your face is covered in sweat and voice is trembling?

@mythfielder 2 жыл бұрын

This is so heartbreaking, I relate to this

@kuselwaleona6483 Жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry. I can relate

@isolditaa 5 жыл бұрын

This was right on the spot! I have the same exact problem. I stop myself from speaking up in fear of not being good enough or smart enough. Being the youngest in the family my siblings used to quiet me or make me feel like I was small and stupid. So without knowing it I got quiet and it has always bothered me to be the quiet one in a group of people but I just can't find my words and when I try I just stumble on them. I remember being ten and thinking I had a problem because I wasn't able to speak in public. Every presentation in school was a nightmare, I could dread it for weeks, just knowing I had to stand in front of the whole class with all eyes on me. I'm almost 30 years now and I still find it difficult to speak at family dinners. When someone ask me a question trying to include me, I just feel awkward and give them a short answer. I can relate so bad to this video and I love how effortless you make your point. Your videos has helped me on a path of personal growth.

@vini202710 5 жыл бұрын

I was also like you...and can relate very well...but I have come a long way from there...and you can too

@sharefulwithbusola3098 4 жыл бұрын

@@vini202710 how did you overcome it?

@fatmah1409 4 жыл бұрын

Same here. I'm 35

@sandidueckman1491 3 жыл бұрын

This post resonated with me so deeply!

@naschy0078 2 жыл бұрын

wow, i had to check if it wasn’t me who wrote this post. I have absolutely the same past and same problems. i am nearly 30 years old and want to get rid of it for good.

@kalpanamanoharan8349 6 жыл бұрын

No words to express how much deep information this video has.... awesome!

@xtreme032786 5 жыл бұрын

I needed to hear this. I’m about to embark in a new journey in my professional life that involves public speaking. English is my second language and this factor makes it even more challenging for me. I used to love public speaking (in my language-Spanish) and really want to regain my confidence. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I just subscribed to the channel.

@hewhohasbeenforgiven86 3 жыл бұрын

It's incredible how we can sabotage our self psychologically

@hellopeople1824 Жыл бұрын

I have a huge problem with speaking in public places. Whenever i have to speak in class, I can feel my heartbeats go crazy and can hear my voice and body shaking. Or when i have to do a presentation, my face gets completely red and I feel like i will fall and I completely forget what I want to say. I don't have the courage to say what I want whenever in class or in a group of friends. And I can't change. I have tried lots of times and the only thing I can do is just cry my self every night...

@Sinnebuleo24 3 жыл бұрын

Im about to do a speech right now and my heart rate is to the roof, and i gotta go. Great video.

@motiveperson143 11 ай бұрын

I was also told the same with my elder sister who use to abuse me and also she use to beat me and tell me to not look at her face...... so right now am 25 years and am suffering all of them. I believe i can overcome them.

@jp3887 6 жыл бұрын

I love this! I still fear public speaking up to now. It’ll probably be a while until I’m comfortable. I realized that my thoughts of people possibly judging me is mostly just judging themselves. Now I make it a point every time as much as I still struggle to speak in front of a group is to always volunteer myself to go first and get it over with. That way any judgement towards me that I feel will be very minimal compared to every other person of waits their turn.

@kimberlycopple609 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you Mel for speaking out your "personal Pep talks", they have been helping me (along with my coach) to get out of my head and get into the game. I was married for 20 years and have now been divorced for 7. It was an unhealthy marriage and yes it took some time for me to realize that and get away. He words were not nice and I have been working on getting out of my head the things he would say to me that were not true, but hearing them over and over for years made it believable (at the time), to be honest it was when my son came to me one day and said to me "dad needs to apologize to you for what he said" that was when I said I am done and asked for a divorce. Best words for me to hear from my son. Now the blessing of getting out of my head and getting out of my way so that I can build my business and become a great speaker, a great leader for my team. Your "personal pep talks" are very helpful! Thank you for being YOU!! HUGS!!

@melrobbins 6 жыл бұрын

Proud of you for the steps you are taking! xo

@osalinas6 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you Mel for these videos! I really appreciate you taking the time for us!

@melrobbins 6 жыл бұрын

Of course!! Thank YOU!!

@keplynrobinson4115 6 жыл бұрын

Love you Mel! This resonates so much to me! My mom was forever telling me to not look so boyish/butch. I’m female but masculine and tried to change myself my whole life. Now at 44 I’m finally letting go and being myself and i still hear her daily. Words are more painful than anything!

@sonia1082 5 жыл бұрын

This is absolutely life changing! If you can explain human reactions like that, everything is possible.

@anamcconnell9096 5 жыл бұрын

I am actually crying because you hit the nail on the head. I had a very abusive mother and feel I am just starting to deal with it at 55.

@SnowWhiteBui 6 жыл бұрын

Amazing!!! I love how there was also a healing component added to your walk through with your guest. Problem solving/fear releasing doesn't get deeper than that! 😀

@LonjeMarie7 3 жыл бұрын

I love Mel, she gave me the courage to go on stage to do stand up. The five second rule! I took her course, I’m preparing to be a public speaker! I know it’s my gift!

@leighannesvoice 2 жыл бұрын

well done you and I know you will be fabulous

@ownitmagazine3756 6 жыл бұрын

Absolutely amazing Mel. Love the way you explain it in simple words. Thank you.

@LaurieSomma 6 жыл бұрын

This is so good. I always get that feeling in my stomach right before I go live.

@EdnaDomingues1 Жыл бұрын

I love it so much! I’ve been raised in a toxic environment as well and my opinion, wants and needs were always neglected. Now a days I face a lot of problems with myself like lack of self steam and public speaking as well. This video is a life saver! Thank you Mel! ❤

@jen.collings 6 жыл бұрын

I needed this and will watch it continuously to keep my motivation up! Thank you Mel!!!

@lisajane4330 6 жыл бұрын

Loved this!! I can really relate. Thanks Mel & that brave lady with you.

@33pandagamer 4 жыл бұрын

This video helped me with something that was not public speaking. It helped me learn more about myself. So Thank You, Mel Robbins.

@LonjeMarie7 3 жыл бұрын

I love how she said to make fun of yourself it’s called taking your power back that’s a great tactic!

@LVHmack 4 ай бұрын

As a very young child I was raised with the understanding that children were meant to be seen, not heard. If I talked back or spoke up on anything my dad didn't agree with or like, I was yelled at or punished. As I got older, this changed. There was more conversation and I was given some freedom to speak but even then I knew there was a line and I didn't dare cross it. As an adult, that also changed. We had very open conversations, in fact they were welcomed and invited. We even talked about childhood, my dad's parenting style, and how it impacted me. He was extremely empathetic and very loving. Fast forward to 44 years old, my current role not only requires me to speak publicly but also lead large groups. It's been very challenging. Now that I understand root cause, how do I break the patterns of childhood?

@stephaniejane306 6 жыл бұрын

Loved this! Thanks so much for the upload. I'm okay at public speaking but this video also helped in recognising some subconcious issues i have. Thanks!

@jovacullen 5 жыл бұрын

Well that explains my fear of public speaking! This was very helpful!

@melissahaley9400 6 жыл бұрын

Loved that I could be there in person to watch this happen! What a great time in VEGAS!!!

@1960genius 6 жыл бұрын

I so needed this. Thank you from my heart

@ClairePenettiere 6 жыл бұрын

This was one of the best motivational and inspiring videos on youtube. Thank you for everything you do, the analysis was mind-blowing. Never thought about social media commenting like that. It really explains a lot of the hate talk also. Love your work and thank you for the love you're giving. Now 1 2 3 4 5 off I go to study 😘

@melrobbins 6 жыл бұрын

Thanks for your comment! Happy you got so much out of the video.

@connerredel9971 6 жыл бұрын

No video has ever made me bawl my eyes but this one. It really hits home.

@melrobbins 6 жыл бұрын

@SaraSpruth 6 жыл бұрын

Love you Mel! Keep doing what you're doing💗

@daedae181 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much, thus was first time watching you, and this made me cry. I've had the same fear and you helped to understand my nervousness. Thank you so much!! I thank God for appointing me to this video.

@leighannesvoice 2 жыл бұрын

Mel is mega helpful and I love the 5 second rule. I have some speaking tips that help me too if you would like me to share.

@kittenmixer812 2 ай бұрын

So brave. Love this bravery and vulnerability. Thank you for sharing. Changing lives.

@alldogsaresmart 6 жыл бұрын

You're the best Mel. This is so helpful.

@nextphase1752 5 жыл бұрын

Free therapy! Wow I don’t know whether to cry because I’m fully acknowledging what held me back or jump up and down because I can and will free myself of those Patterns. We’re all Good enough to make a difference in this world 🌎

@rolansanchez7046 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for making this video, you are so helpful and so is this video. I am so afraid of even standing in front of so many people how much more if I speak.

@pavlina.f 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Mel. This was oh so helpful ❤️

@caragalbavi 6 жыл бұрын

One of the best lessons from POY Spring 2018! I loved this!

@Khan-gz9ih Жыл бұрын

I have a presentation in a very big auditorium tomorrow and i am already nervous today and watching these king of videos to calm myself😁

@MrJessy24jessy Ай бұрын

have been afraid of public speaking as long as I can remember. I have dropped out of school and lost a lot of opportunities because I was too afraid to speak. I'm scared to talk to authority or speak in front of people because my mind goes blank. My heart beats so fast and my mouth goes dry. Then after that I get very very depressed and think of suicide because I felt like a failure. I don't want this to control my life. I did toast masters today and it was so hard. Very hard for me but I forced myself to. I know the fear is irrational but it impacts my life and my body and my mind . After toast masters I got depressed for reasons I don't know. I'm going to go again. It's like I'm walking into the danger to overcome it. I see potential to present. I see hope to give a speech some day. I'm so so so scared but I have to .

@sadmansakif4239 6 жыл бұрын

Mel, you are like a mentor to me! God bless you..

@shazdekochooloo6413 6 жыл бұрын

I just wanted to say thank you just half an hour ago I watched your videos and finally got my ass to study for my board exam! And now I saw your notification💖

@osalinas6 6 жыл бұрын

shazde kochooloo good going! keep it up!

@shazdekochooloo6413 6 жыл бұрын

osalinas6 thank you

@melrobbins 6 жыл бұрын

I hope the exam goes well!

@premsaran6107 5 жыл бұрын

You are amazing, I am new to your channel, this is all I need. I am so much saved

@maria.1313 3 жыл бұрын

This is so valuable, thank you! 🤍🌹🙏

@KatharineLikesCake 6 жыл бұрын

Thanks Mel! You are 'beyond words' helpful! We are listening! :)

@devijayasheela2012 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you. That explains so much. I wish i could attend one of your seminars one day. Much love from India.

@yudeisisbeltranhernandez2782 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Mel !!!

@CarinaPrimaBallerina 3 жыл бұрын

That was so touching when she started to cry from relief

@thrivehappy9610 2 жыл бұрын

Oh! My God! Thank you Ms Robin

@heyakua 2 жыл бұрын

This changed my perspective, thank you. 🙏🏿

@leighannesvoice 2 жыл бұрын

Yes I love Mel and I have a few more tips if you need them.

@kholood3853 2 жыл бұрын

Oh wow! I felt released through this, so much better When she talked about the (you can't find words) and she said a phrase, I used mine I didn't know it could work with me too! I feel (I'm not good enough) And I remembered after couple of moments and questioning myself, that i used it to avoid doing things that i do not wanna do! I hated when i was forced to do things i don't like or want This is amazing 💛!

@SanjaDimitrijevic 5 жыл бұрын

Awesome energy!

@bolikilelik 4 жыл бұрын

This woman, Wendy - she's so awesome, really. Thank you, Mel - I you help people open themselves 💕

@Attunedcoaching3 Жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@Dorypowa Жыл бұрын

Very helpful thank you so much

@Aminul_Ali_11 Жыл бұрын

Thank you madam, I love this, I fear talking in group and find a way to overcome it

@MissChayBella 5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much Mel!

@LisaDCT 6 жыл бұрын

Perfection! Get that side eye a lot! ❤️

@ritikjaiswal7523 4 жыл бұрын

Great ma'am

@joseabad2552 11 ай бұрын

Thanks for the advice have a amazing day ❤

@yoursweetrooms9039 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you Mel Love you 😗

@philly3199 8 ай бұрын

Thank you for this Video it help me alot.

@johnkhan482 4 жыл бұрын

Mel robins the great woman, doing great job, i m muslim from kashmir, but appreciate your work

@nchanezishalot7219 11 ай бұрын

My own shyness has become out of hand .So that's why I said to my self today I must start looking for ways to help myself

@rik-keymusic160 2 жыл бұрын

Wauw, indeed. When i wanted to speak out i got hit or humiliated by the people who shouted loved me 🤷‍♂️… no judgment, my parents had to go to the same nonsense. Its a generational problem!

@Misses-Hippy Жыл бұрын

It is a leftover from the bad old days of parenting, when life was hard, and you were supposed to be seen but not heard.

@lianahuang3086 6 жыл бұрын

Love it!

@donnamendez142 6 жыл бұрын

Very interrrresting!

@victoriam3894 Жыл бұрын

This is great!

@carolpengra4458 6 жыл бұрын

Wow I even remembered where I started to insult myself

@realrabidraccof 6 жыл бұрын

Love that woman!

@Attunedcoaching3 6 жыл бұрын

Thanks!! ❤️🚀

@melrobbins 6 жыл бұрын

Wendy is amazing!

@realrabidraccof 6 жыл бұрын

You both are! Thank you for the upload, I love your vids :)

@necheervanabdullah 6 жыл бұрын

great answer

@tabindaaamir9488 2 жыл бұрын

extremely helpful..unlike other youtube stuff ..plz do more videos on thks topic

@dhrishikaramesha1710 3 жыл бұрын

I don't know why but when I am reciting my lines in a play I don't fear that much as much as I do when I have to speak in centre of the class. And also when I have a Mike that improves my confidence. Actually when I have achieved something in ur life it gradually improves ur confidence level.

@Caroline-Horvath-Rivera 5 жыл бұрын

i love you Mel!!!!

@anujrawat7329 5 жыл бұрын

Mel you are awesome really thanx for all of your advices 😊😛👍

@Nicky-ez3ln 2 жыл бұрын

Well she figured it out that's amazing

@axoNNNessj Жыл бұрын

Precies wat ik nodig had, dank je! :D

@daltvfun8879 Жыл бұрын

The exact things happen to me. The fear is my greatest weakness.

@Kosalsom 10 ай бұрын

Great sharing ❤

@Simon-gx9xf Жыл бұрын

She is amazing

@nataliej2966 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you for all your words of wisdom Mel! I listen to your yourtubes everyday before I walk out the door to work and you really help!

@Englishteacher8_ 2 жыл бұрын

Excellent

@BriaBarrows 2 жыл бұрын

It’s the fear of the people and making mistakes. I think it takes practice not to be a perfectionist

@jockmaraisasmr5700 4 жыл бұрын

I’ve always known my fear of public speaking stemmed from being relentlessly ridiculed as a young kid in school. By grade 2, anytime I raised my hand and answered a question, my peers would make fun of me and say I “sound like a girl” (I’m gay). It kept happening and by the middle of 2nd grade, I completely stopped volunteering to talk in class, I had no friends because I was too scared to speak to anyone in fear they’d keep making fun of how I talk. It breaks my heart to think back to those moments of helplessness and what hurts the most is knowing just how much those short moments in my childhood took from me, even as a full-grown adult. I know nobody will judge me now and I have so many ideas to share through speaking, but that little, bullied child still lives inside of me and makes me pull away. I am working on fixing this.

@SYD3785 2 жыл бұрын

Beautifully written such ingenious reflection in that I feel you have such great talent!

@alexandrealexiades2768 Жыл бұрын

Lovely!

@jh4277 3 жыл бұрын

the guest did great, i wouldve fainted

@janybai 6 жыл бұрын

Really this works , I have some more than things that pulls me going for a speech in front of a crowd. I can’t speak in front of the crowd I forgot all the things What I wanted to speak.

@stevenhill2256 6 жыл бұрын

I LOOOVE Wendy so much! She deserved to be up there with you! Also, if you listen carefully you can hear me scream "YAAAS WENDY" hahahahahah

@Attunedcoaching3 6 жыл бұрын

I love you too Steven!! ❤️💥🚀

@melrobbins 6 жыл бұрын

@elliemathieu 6 жыл бұрын

I agree, you soooo deserved to be up there Wendy .... Way to go !!!

@marseeacarthan8694 6 жыл бұрын

Wendy was Awesome! I love the shirt she has on! It fits the setting perfectly!

@aliyahbhatbhat8458 5 жыл бұрын

Great .....

@cheryl2929 7 ай бұрын

Every time I have to go to a work meeting or course, my heart pounds like mad and I blush if anyone asks me a question, how can I conquer this😢

@kailyn5203 2 жыл бұрын

THANK YOU🤩🤩😍😍♥️♥️♥️

@4sisrocksrao835 5 жыл бұрын

Ummmahhhhhhhhhh what u r delivering !!!!!!! Saluteee u

@deepabhatt6770 Жыл бұрын

I had an incident where I was of of city at state level debate and literally blowed up my answers because I was stressed due my team and the teachers I went with. I was a new admission in that school and barely had any freind, the only freind I had was crush of my team mate who literally spoke so rudely to me all the time we were in that competition. I was not a new speaker, I had spoken up tens of times before, even I'm front of a bigger crowd, but her words "you will make us loose the competition" my teacher who was supposed to encourage me said things like "speaking to boys won't get u trophy, don't make me loose face" All these things were so into my 16 year old mind that I ended my speech early and left the podium as I couldn't breathe. And that is how I m scared of podiums , I can speak without a podium but the moment I m behind it, my heart beats fastes,my breath shortens, vision blurs tingling sensation occurs and I might probably fall soon is all I can think of.... I am trying to cope with this and get over my trauma..I have decided to speak in front of that podium more and more to overcome that fear.......