What would you put in your college application personal essay?

Stay strong, Aiden.

The sad thing about Babylon Bee is while they did not change their approach at all, they went from being a satire website, to basically a documentary series that gives incredibly realistic re-enactments of real life.

I am not even kidding, I work at a university and right after the AA thing dropped in the news our president sent out a letter to the entire university that said basically "Don't worry... we have ways to work around this..."

As a university professor...this is spot on. You guys are amazing.

How can you possibly achieve equality unless you treat people unequally? That's the question they can't answer...

It’s so hard to be racist when you’re not allowed to be racist.

This sketch is so realistic; it starts by being very funny, but it ends up being really painful.

When it came to taking tests that would endear you to colleges, I marked my race as, "Other," and got a shit ton of elite universities trying to recruit me. Ivy League, Stanford, West Point, nearly all of them. The previous tests I had aced and listed no race at all, because I did not want to mark next to, "White," when all the other choices were, "something-American." I considered myself Romanian American, so I marked Other, and found it both hilarious and a bit tragic that everyone was beating down my door. This was back in the 90's.

On the plus side Aiden, you won't graduate with $80 thousand in crippling student loan debt from your community college.

This would be funny if it wasn't happening to real people.

*My parents were Italian Americans. Neither graduated high school. My Grandfather owned a hotdog stand in NYC. My dad made garbage bags in a factory for a living all his life.* They instilled in me the drive for academic excellence. I worked hard & graduated community college with a 3.9.GPA. I then applied to a prestigious nursing college for my B.S. When I was called in for the interview the woman was cordial until she realized I marked on the application I was Caucasian. She told me because I identify as white, I no longer meet the GPA qualification. She said it was extremely competitive among that demographic & required a perfect 4.0 score. I then asked her what the requirement GPA was for other ethnicities? She told me for Hispanics 3.6 & for African Americans 3.2. She then asked me if *I was sure I wasn't Hispanic?* I thanked her kindly for allowing me the chance to change it on the application. I do look like I'm Hispanic, my skin is olive, my hair is dark & so are my eyes, my last name even sounds like I could be. However, no Ma'am, I am Italian & the only option for Italians is Caucasian. I will not lie to get into your school or anyone elses. *My integrity is not for sale!*

Getting rejected by the UC system to go to a State University and becoming an aerospace engineer was the best thing that happened to my kid.

Now that antiwhitism is systemic in society, they can drop formalities like affirmative action.

My son was sent a notification saying he was eligible for a scholarship in Colorado but as soon as they found out he wasn't black it was rescinded . But instead of him crying Racist , he went into a job training program to become an electrician, getting paid to learn .

Aiden, one of the most emotional attachments I've had to a character in a LONG TIME. I feel for the guy, he's doing his best, fighting hard for his dreams, clearly wants to make his mom proud, has a wealth of potential, is scholarly and wise WELL beyond his years. Yet, there is a stern stoic pain, in the acknoledgement that even with the overwhelming merit of his achievements, he may never find the recongnition he strives for. HEARTBREAKING is an understatement. Soundtrack dosen't hurt either, subtle sad piano *chef's kiss*

Babylon Bee is no longer satire. They essentially showed us exactly what’s going on.

I love the fact that the entire reason they missed out on the potential candidates they 'want' is because they were extremely racist.

This happened to my daughter. She is white and her name is a 2 part Japanese word. She went to her interview (upper level) and the Interviewer (upon seeing her), said "you're not black!"...She said no, I'm white. The Interviewer was caught being "Racist" (she was black).

The biggest lie I was told growing up is that I had to go to college. I didn’t, and you dont have to either.

That last scene really got to me. We live in such an upside down world. Just one of many issues that leave me scratching my head.

Affirmative action has been destroying lives for decades. Decades ago the son of a family friend tested number 3 in a San Francisco fire department test. After affirmative action he was placed lower than 50.

We’ve got people in our political system who will call out and push back on virtually every single issue, except for rampant antiwhiteism in the West. You ever notice that? 🤔

This video was hilarious. As a black female who grew up with a poor single mom. I went in the military to get the GI bill to afford college to become a RN. In the 90’s GI bill was $300 a month. I never received anything to help me in school. I was the only black person in my nursing class. I racked up 45k in student loans and 22 years after I have graduated I’m still paying them back. I opened my own business a few years back and was denied funding. I had to get a car loan and use the money along with credit cards to fund my business. Once business was dissolved I had to use my retirement money to pay off the debt. I’m not complaining I’m glad to be a Nurse living my dream. But AA has never helped me in any way as an adult. Everything I have, I have had to pay for it and or work my way through it. Which I should. Just wanted people to know that some of us never have seen a benefit of AA, that I’m aware of that have made things easier.

I had a black friend who worked at at hospital. He told me that he didn't like affirmative action because everyone figured that he was hired because of his skin color, and therefore they assumed he didn't know what he was doing.

No meme, I had this happen to me. I participate in something called "HARO" which is "help a reporter out." I saw a request that was in my field so I was excited to participate. At the end of the inquiry, it said "only people of color or women." Super racist.

I served in the military and worked my arse off in a community college to transfer to UW with a high GPA to a competitive major. It was sickening feeling when a kid right next to me with a low GPA that had not even met the transfer requirements was being admitted along with me in place of others that worked as hard as me. Its disgusting. Minority privilege is real and not justified. The reasons I had to go in the military to begin with is because I was white, poor without a father which makes it impossible to get financial aid. They demanded my fathers income information and I could not give it to them. I didn’t know the guy. The system is broken on many levels. Yes, low income people get the shaft but it has nothing to do with race. They use race as a diversion to not address the real issues.

I was once told by a university selection committee that I had the perfect qualifications for the position, but their quota of white men was full and they were required to choose a minority or female.

As a trans-racial person, I am glad to see more and more people start using identifying as a different race as a thing. I'm aero-race, because my race changes like the wind.

There’s a lot more truth in these BB videos than most actual videos. That’s how ridiculous the country has gotten. The best people should get the spots, regardless of any other factor.

My daughter had a college acquaintance from South Africa who applied at a medical school. When he arrived for the interview, the med. school was angry with him for not being Black.

😂😂😂 100% correct! Applause to Babylon Bee for spelling out the truth to the public!

This is far too good! I wouldn't be surprised if it's actually happening.

Sadly, this crap happens far too often. 😡

I watched somebody going through applications to be their work assistant. Nope - that name sounds too *insert race* Nope - that person is *insert gender* Nope - that person lives too far away Nope - that person lives too close They did employ somebody of their chosen gender, race and location who *apparently* turned out to be a druggie'! Shortest hire ever. They got rid of them before they'd even started the job. I witnessed a lot of that sexism/racism and was apalled.

This is currently happening in every university across America.

This problem needs to be removed. To do this, the people making these decisions must be removed.

We now live in a society where truth and satire are indistinguishable. Keep up the good work!

I love how Minesweeper is the perfect analogy for blindly selecting candidates with no available criteria.

The Bee is simply no longer parody. They've crossed over into straight up fact delivery, cleverly disguised as parody comedy.

It’s really easy for them to discriminate. (1.) Zip codes that are mostly black neighborhoods; (2.) extracurricular activities that are stereotypical; (3.) race revealed in essays either overtly or implied in stereotypical ways; (4.) photos of candidates

I can relate to Aiden. I play tennis, was in the lacrosse team, and black. The struggle is real y’all.

Such a perfect observation of the lunacy we are being forced to live.

Man wasn’t prepared for the Aidan at the end I felt tears coming down stay strong Aidan.

Reminds me of “Woke vs racist” skit where the duo have everything in common

I find it odd on job applications they ask you about disabilities, race, sex, etc., then claim you wont be judged on that. Funny I've sent out hundred of applications, for things I am perfectly skilled for, most being entry level positions, or like just a step up and gotten almost no calls back, but tons of declines.....

"Rice try." That's hilarious!

Lawsuit time!

I was expecting comedy, not surveillance footage

Aidan will get a better education (potentially) and save a boatload of money going to 2 years of Community College first, they did him a favor!💀

FINALLY! I had no idea how to play mine sweepers

Very powerful ending. Thanks for the reminder.

Given equal opportunity, you'll always have unequal outcomes. When you spend your time as a society "giving free stuff" to those who underperform, and punishing those who are successful, don't be surprised when your society fails.

That last part hit me hard. You got this Aidan!

The ending is surprisingly sad

Obfuscate names on applications. End special treatment for anybody/everybody.

Truly exceptional people have never let themselves be stopped by fools' attempts to do what's right out of ignorance or stupidity.

Thanks for having me and putting me up to saying all those things!!!

My only question is would this policy change help or hinder the Babylon Bee green alien?

The best part is Aiden quoting Scarlett O'Hara at the end.

Now it actually is an equal opportunity for all

I feel bad for real-life kids like Aden. But, you know, their great accomplishments are just too "white-adjacent" or something. These days it's not fair to judge people by the content of their character. That's so yesterday. It's much more fair to judge them by things they can't change, like skin color... /s

The only Babylon Bee video that almost made me cry. So sad and silly

My favorite jobs on linkedin are the ones that say Equal Opportunity Employer followed by Women and Minorites encourage to apply. Oh and the part where Linkedin asks you to self identify your demographics to help promote Equal Opportunity for employers 👌

The wokeness keeps on growing And its certainly not showing Any signs of slowing

The sad part is this will probably be exactly what they'll do in the near future.

Exactly why some schools, Ivy League, have lost creditability with employers.

So sad that talent means nothing

If *only* there were some way of sorting students by an objective, measurable criteria. Something that would approximately show their aptitude for academic study. . . . . . .

I knew it was coming, but that ending.😂 It's almost like making blanket judgements based on broad stereotypes instead of judging a person individually, by their merit, is a bad thing.

Where my daughter works as a teacher, everything went remote. Well, they are now hiring their first remote teacher from India and they're only paying that new teacher $5/ hr The company claims it has nothing to do with cost savings, it's about DIVERSITY.... Bull. Teachers, you have been put on notice. You wanted to work remote, and now you're going to get replaced. You can strike all you want, that will just make them replace you all the faster

Prayers for Aiden.

This *could* be funny if it didn't feel so accurate to reality...

Schools have already come out saying they'll find another way to "maintain diversity".

One of the CNRAs I work w said she had to wait for the decision of the SCOTUS in how the school she teaches at was going to handle admitting students. She is happy that there are ways to discriminate against races to let her black students in despite the decision. This is the number one health school in my city along w the biggest hospital in my area.

Tapping on his throat simulating auto tunes while harmonizing “Shawtyyy” Comedy gold.

I hope BB will give us updates in this bright young man’s journey against liberal oppressors. Be strong Aidan!!!

I fell out of my chair at, "Hey, Mom. It's Aiden." Brilliant ending. You guys are so clever.

“Without knowing their race how are we supposed to know who is good and who is bad” 🤣 but also 😱

"Without knowing the race, how am i supposed to know who is good and who is bad?" 😂😂😂

"Good grades in every class except drivers ed......." Gold, pure gold.......

Great video Babylon bee. Thanks for sharing

voting out the senile elderly would be the first step of the much needed healing from this crap

Absolutely nothing should legally allowed to be used for university admissions except things like SATs.

Lol.. This is so savage.. 😂😂😂 Aww.. Poor Aiden..

My father specifically warned me that if a college tried to admit me based on race, gender, or something other than merit I should refuse.

Simply brilliant!

You guys got balls. Bravo!

This should be shown in schools.. and discussed.!!

how to start your admissions essay: "It was never easy for me. I was born a poor Black child."

This literally happened to someone I know with the last name of Lee. He showed up to school after being given a scholarship and they were surprised he was white.

Wow! This was well executed 👏👏👏

"Except driver's ed." 😂

Pretty tough job at the admissions office, I've never seen two people work so hard, especially that dude next to the cute redhead 😂😂😂 Well done BB! Great ending!!

I can see this actually happening in the admissions office of EVERY college in the United States right now.

Poor Aiden , he did so much to get in 😢 sigh , i knew he was black from his description ,i guess the people were too stupid to even figure that out , but people shouldn't get in for their race, they should get in by their qualifications . God bless ❤❤❤❤❤❤

“After all, tomorrow is another day “ I lost it! 😂

I was just talking to a colleague about this very topic the other day in regards to business hiring. What ever happened to hiring the best person for the job, regardless of sex, race, gender, etc. Isn't that the ultimate in abolishing racism?

"Shawn King, he's my cousin..." 😂😂😂💀💀💀 How could you say something so controversial yet so brave? 🤣🤣

My college sent out and email basically saying “the Supreme Court won’t let us but we’re going to find a way to do it anyway”