Anxious Attachment Style? Become Secure FAST Through Individuation & True Self-Connection!

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Anxious Attachment Style? Become Secure FAST Through Individuation & True Self-Connection!

Рет қаралды 19,535

The Personal Development School

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 51

@lindsay3793 11 ай бұрын

Our sense of security IS based on the outside world. Look at the price of everything. The cost of living. How can I feel secure right now? I always feel a few weeks away from homelessness even working full time with savings.

@tucky3191 Жыл бұрын

Love the distinction between good and obedient

@Rebecca-xw4ji Жыл бұрын

Such an excellent video - I am an absolute AP and people-pleaser and I feel like I do so much to be there for other people and have a hard time saying no or just going along with the crowd, so thank you for this video, I really appreciated it. I hope to see more of this kind of content soon!

@michaelkeller5927 Жыл бұрын

I was just talking to my therapist about this yesterday! Perfect timing Thais!

@rachelleFM 11 ай бұрын

You just revealed the blind spot I’ve been searching for my whole life. Thank you for the work you do Thais. You are a blessing.

@marleyofficialmedia Жыл бұрын

You, and people like you, have helped me SO much with this. I have been working on this pain solidly for a few years now.. I am grateful and proud to say that I am much more connected to myself, and generally feel a lot more confident - safe - trusting myself. Thank you!!! ❤🎉

@jamiew83831 Жыл бұрын

I wish I knew these things years ago.

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Жыл бұрын

APs would love to hear your comments on what you thought about this video ❤

@Jamy528 Жыл бұрын

You're helping me finally get lasting healing from this for the first time in my life. 💜 Thank you! 🙏

@michaelhill2933 5 ай бұрын

I'm totally the person who sees myself from the outside in. I forget about me alot. My value is based on my wife, my kids, my friends and coworkers, I'm somewhere at the bottom in what I think about myself. It makes sense to me cause we're only worth what we are worth to others, but I'm starting to see alot of people's feelings about us are bullshit. My real worth is found in who I am. Not what people think of me. Alot of people look down on others just to make themselves feel better about some insecurity or fear

@jessklay8594 3 ай бұрын

I really enjoyed this video, thank you. Too bad I’m 40 years old and just now learning this stuff (I was securely attached until about age 35)

@lifecoachingtoronto Жыл бұрын

Where you move to your natural state of Secure, you may lose people, and are those the people you even want in your life? When you're secure you will probably have higher quality & longer-lasting connections :)

@emmapaynter9893 Жыл бұрын

This is such an important video, thank you so much. ❤

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Жыл бұрын

You're very welcome Emma ❤

@roshalllambert 11 ай бұрын

you explained individuation in such a beautiful way!

@nativeceltbirdog1527 Жыл бұрын

Perfect!! I needed this!!!❤❤❤❤❤

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Жыл бұрын

great to hear! ❤

@keith7043 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this video. I admire your courage to be bot vulnerable and strong with humility at times in helping us viewers. BTW- exquisite top you were wearing!!

@NathanSprouleDrums Жыл бұрын

This was a great video. Thank you.

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Жыл бұрын

You're very welcome Nathan :)

@restlessmosaic Жыл бұрын

How do we know what relationship non-negotiables and preferences are things we *chose* in the abstract versus something we inherited, or something that springs from our dysfunctions? I struggle with this question and its variants constantly. It seems that so many of things we say are "us" turn out over time to be somebody else in us, or something culturally random in us. And I have no idea how to advertise myself to people for friendships when this risk is always present within me.

@dusk5956 Жыл бұрын

I think it’s important to step out of your comfort zones. So moving away from your hometown, traveling, learning about different cultures, surrounding yourself with different types of people, you’ll find that a lot of things you do or know is contributed to your surroundings.

@esteranescu7795 Жыл бұрын

For me it has really helped taking the time to sit and work with myself. Alone time came naturally after I started to set boundaries around and to listen to my needs. It was difficult and painful in the beginning, but then in that "alone time" I started to notice the influence that others had on me dissipating, and grounding in what felt right for me. Also really start to question and explore yourself, your behaviors, your beliefs, your preferences and so on, and try to dig deep with different questions, such as why that resonates with you? how did you develop it? was it as a coping mechanism to deal with pain in the past? is it coming from your ego? does it bring you happiness and peace? would i rather have it in a different way and, if yes, what is that? Journaling is also a good tool to experience yourself in a neutral way as you're going through it. Hope this helps! ❤

@Katrica670 Жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@pure-pisces9980 Жыл бұрын

Thankyou...just wish i could believe in the process 😢❤

@stevensantora2976 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much.

@lunkerjunkie Жыл бұрын

how do I imagine my own future using your perspective ?

@PeopleoftheFreeGift Жыл бұрын

it would be great if you could do videos on an alternative to teaching obedience as parents.

@Katrica670 Жыл бұрын

@12:24 but it speaks volumes about the "person" who lacks such love, empathy and gentleness to do that to other human beings! What was their childhood like, and did they actually individuate? 😳

@clouddancer46 Жыл бұрын

This is cultural. 💯 Americans so self individual focused. I understand where you're coming from that this you do need to take sociological perspectives as well.

@Katrica670 Жыл бұрын

@April I actually wanted to chime in, but got lost on what you were saying.

@snailart9214 Жыл бұрын

@@Katrica670 I think she means that Americans are maybe already very individualized instead of collectivist but I don't really think that applies to what Thias is talking about? Especially as this country is very mixed up. I live in a co-dependant inter generational household (and we're Hispanic) but this information is still really helpful for me. I don't really understand what April is trying to say because even in more collectivist/co-dependant relationships individuation is still important. Actually maybe more important? In a traditional family as a woman the pressure my family puts on me to have kids and have more feminine roles is actually not good for me, so like honestly I think it's okay to say those sociological perspectives can be damaging in some ways.

@Katrica670 Жыл бұрын

@14:43 would it be feel like a burden, or more like feel hard to deal with from now setting boundaries etc.?

@grasshut23 Жыл бұрын

How is it, that I am pretty sure I have mostly operated as anxious avoidant, yet I relate to several of the anxious attached traits mentioned here?

@kristip7654 Жыл бұрын

Maybe you’re more of a fearful avoidant?

@rcarter1able Жыл бұрын

You can be FA with AP leaning side.

@Katrica670 Жыл бұрын

@Joshua Brown huh? Why anxious avoidant, then anxious attached?

@ng-marc Жыл бұрын

Brilliant! Thank you once again. As an FA, which program would you recommend for me to improve communications with an AP family member struggling on an arrested development healing journey?

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Жыл бұрын

Hi Marc! One of the best courses for this is "How to Heal Family Dynamics" so that you can acknowledge your experience and theirs, plus have tools to communicate through the differences. We cover important tools for communication & de-escalation too!

@ng-marc Жыл бұрын

@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Excellent, Thank you. Will start that course next. Cheers ❤️🥂

@LivDeSantos Жыл бұрын

This is the exact same video as the one for dismissive avoidants? I think there may have been an error?

@lauriemeerlarock5649 Жыл бұрын

I noticed the same thing.

@Ryan-yg7zc Жыл бұрын

Does this apply to the FA too?

@Katrica670 Жыл бұрын

@7:50-8:04 huh? I feel like there is a mistake there, maybe I'm wrong.

@fiction589 Жыл бұрын

❤❤❤

@nadiaventer3380 Жыл бұрын

It feels so difficult and confusing 😢

@lunkerjunkie Жыл бұрын

at what point will it be safe to stop living as you ?

@BaseballDadAz Жыл бұрын

Juxtaposing parents who expect and shepherd/discipline willful disobedience in children (which comes with every child) with evil that can set in an entire group/culture is irresponsible and twisted. Parents know best how to raise their kids, and sometimes it involves unpleasant things for the child. Albeit it shouldn’t be often. It all depends… but, terrible comparison.