Wise words

Beautifully spoken. Adding that to what an older father figure of our family says often, “Look at confrontation as discovery.”

Wisdom!

Great advice!!! I wish I had heard that in my 20's!!!

Very simple yet elegantly well-written comment. I think because it has proven itself to be true at least once for all of us, even if something minor.

And she was also helping care for her! 👏 Meanwhile her Husband wants to go to his job and play golf. What a guy!

Now she need to kick her husband in the butt bc enabling isn’t helping him or their marriage

Sounds like she is a strong woman whereas the husband sounds like a lazy bafoon

This is what happens when you marry below you. Winners stop marrying losers.

@@user-ex3mx7hk4lWhat a Selfish BUM!!

What’s the big deal? Ramsey didn’t even ask what interest rate they have on their house. The husband is the only smart one and he’s not even on that call. They probably have a 2.5% interest rate below inflation rate so he’s smart not to dump that into a mortgage payoff. He plays golf and works leave the man alone. Probably helps a lot around the house and this wife needs to either let husband plan investments or be glad he lets her buy the risky rentals. The govt didn’t even let you evict renters while they didn’t pay rent. Huge risk to owning rentals. Husband is smart he better off without this dumb broad and her friends on Ramsey show.

Yeah I agree but when she makes 150 and he makes 45 they can't keep sepetate accounts and expect to split expenses and he will have money left

The marriage isnt together,we need to be onboard together.Rosie.

115 and 45​@@jasonchampagne8958

If she die he has everything,if he dies she gets nothing.

They never do

Husband's like her's pick women to marry that they feel they can control. She makes over double what he does, yet he tell's her what they're going to do. My sister was married to someone like this for 54 years, (he stopped working in his 40's, because he was "disabled", supposedly had an enlarged heart, got SSDI, weighed over 350 pounds, but didn't die until he was 77) and by the time he died, she was 74 and had absolutely no confidence in herself, although she paid for the house, or her ability to make decision's. I'm 5 years younger than her, and her marriage is one of the reasons I got divorced within 2 years of marriage, even though we had a child, because I recognized what my ex was trying to do. I never remarried, and retired owning 2 homes, that I purchased myself, debt free (for many years), and very happy that I made the decision's I did. My son and his wife also own their home and are debt free, but his dad still has a house payment and debt, at 76 years old (he's on his 5th marriage). I dodged one hell of a bullet, in 1974.

He sees his sugar momma he married up

​@@kibblenbitsso you 69 and watching ramsey show on youtube? What a boring life!!!

Always remember you only hear one side of the story

I think you are forgetting an 'F'

@@siva47931 HAHAHA either that or Mother In Law. but I did think the same thing at first.

Savage

@@siva47931 Hopefully she doesn’t land on bankrupt before she can spin again to choose another letter.

My question was where is daughter in law's husband? I'm thinking her son???

Thank you for that. From a wife that feels appreciated- it matters!

He won't know what he's got til she's gone.

I can relate, I married a nurse and she has such a big heart( to a fault sometimes). I guess that why I married her :-) We only have so many resources(money, housing-space, time, etc), and sometimes it tough to tell her that we just don' have the resources to help as much as she wants. It always hurts me inside a little bit each time and the disappointment on her face doesn't help either.

They sure do take care of everyone. Its one of the professions most likely to cheat.

@@Pinoyguitarist5❤️‍🩹

Many healthcare workers are caretakers..its a disorder. And that's what you do for a living, especially if you have kids, you don't realize what's happening. She allowed her husband to be her child, by letting him get away with his childish behavior, now she's replacing her son and escalating him, just like she did her husband.

Nurses are one of the most important professions on the planet, don't believe me? Just ask one.

She knew it going in .. She wanted it all ..

@@dougtheviking6503 Exactly how did she know going in? You think she's psychic?

@M.Campbell usually you know someone before you get married.. she's the ambitious one . He wasn't into it or got tired of it . She kept going . She knows. I have been married myself a long time . Yep I'm psychic with age comes knowledge

She moves on..He Gets half...Different when the shoes on the other foot...Huh Ladies..??

​​@@dougtheviking6503 You weren't there You don't know what she was like 29 years ago. Maybe she was ambitious but she also could have been innocent and naive but her ambition is what pulled her out of it. I can't believe you made such a stupid comment.

Let's give context before calling him a child. Women have a delusional mindset that they can be fat argumentative, be single mothers, and be bossy. The problem with all those things is the guy who chooses to deal with a woman's negative traits is generally a weak male. A strong man avoids strong, independent women because they don't know how to be wives.

I wonder if you swap the genders would people say the same thing.

​@andrewbradley3305 If the genders were swapped no one would have an issue.

Yes. Dead weight is dead weight, regardless of which side of the equation it is on.

Yep….. I know a man who is married to a woman just like that. He told me he’s there til the kids go to college because they have no other relationship but what revolves around the children. It’s sad. The children are the buffers and that’s so sad for the kids. His 16 yr old daughter asked him if she could see a counselor to talk about how she’s sad that she can’t help enough people. Her mother and father both use her as an emotional crutch. The son is older and he doesnt have that same compassionate disposition, so the daughter absorbs it all. She doesn’t cook, shop for groceries, take care of the kids, not the contact for the children’s schools, etc. he said once that he can’t trust her to make any decisions either, not even about discipline, or money. He said she feels like another child to him. His youngest is 17…. We shall see if he really leaves or he just stays because it’s easier than losing half his stuff.

And you can still work toward the same goals even if you have different roles. This lady is trying to work and progress through life and the dude wants to golf

One time i was broke and in debt. Then i started driving a garbage truck. Its not glamourus but i make about 65k a year i lived on nothing and now i have benefits, and a company pension too. Ive got a good amount of savings and ill keep wirking until im 60 and then retire.

​@@leadnsteel1428thats not terrible depending on where you live.

@@kyzerw381665k in Arkansas let’s you live like a king

@@janeddooee “wants to golf”? So, he works. Sounds like FT. He cannot have something that gives him please outside Work?

I quit listening after the young guy said she's just in a roommate situation. If that were true she could walk away with every dime she has earned and saved.

They didn’t want to tell her to divorce the guy lol

​@@_CPerkSo that the entire internet community will come for them and say they are promoting worldly values? C'mon, they are smarter than that.

​@@_CPerkThey did. In a kind way.

@@kerrynight3271yeah it’s worse. It’s a roommate you can’t leave so easiley.

Peace is far more valuable than money. Thankful you found it.

How did he get 80%??? 😱 That's crazy.

​@@DawnKellyMediaI thought the same thing.

@@karabrodsky2852 they were obviously not from California. We have a saying here: "It's cheaper to keep her." Unless there's a prenup, everything is divided 50/50.

@@DawnKellyMedia Right, oh boy. Cheaper to keep her. I mean that come be the case where I am from, New York. Better to stay and keep the person to avoid paying alimony or child support or splitting everything. 😬🤔

😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆. She is screwed.

She is by far better off married than she would be losing half in a divorce.

Lmao . You wouldn’t say that if the male earning 3x more money than her

​@@billymabum3514 Correct. We'd change the pronouns and say "HE needs to make sure he's financially protected." And I'm a woman. Being a woman, man, 2-spirit penguin, whatever, is no excuse to take advantage of people.

@@billymabum3514I can’t stand parasitic “partners”, men or women.

Dude that’s like 5th date conversation. Not 30 years later smh

That's nice. But life has changed drastically for a lot of people in 50 years, and i'm sure what you wanted 50 yrs ago is not what you want now.

Congratulation to you both. Many more blessed & happy yrs ahead! 🥰

Congrats. It’s a lot of work. You rock

@@lovette7684 Can you be any more "passive/aggressive"?

It’s pretty apparent you don’t know how wacky your comment sounds.

@@michaelfleming8490 How? Insane to me that you would marry someone you don’t align with

​@@michaelfleming8490What's wacky about it?

@@michaelfleming8490 You're weird

I understand what he's trying to say. Falling in love with someone & feeling connected certainly doesn't have rules of allowing nor disallowing. I think what you're referencing is some form of disciplined action and it has worked out for you. 👍

Well said, and I want to encourage you to pray more cuz you obviously care for others. I’ll pray for you as well to hear Him more and find comfort in knowing He’s always listening and knows.

Prayer is a waste of time, it’s just a way for you to feel good about yourself for doing -something- nothing.

@@furiogiunta556 😂😂😂kinda like you wasting time with this negative reply that helps no one other than making yourself be center of attention. You do you, but don’t down people of faith…regardless of what that faith is.

@@everydayman3497 Stop wasting time and get out there and help people, arguing with me or praying to a fairy tale does nothing.

Being single is a blessing

Omg same !!!

i thought the same thing. minute she said she makes 100k plus and he makes 40ish i knew it would be downhill from there.

what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

The roles are reversed for once. Usually the men are the ones avoiding divorce and dealing with unhappy marriages to avoid losing half of everything bahahaha

It’s completely normal for me to be in this situation all the time. Do you feel sorry for them also?

I don't think she loves him. You can't love somebody you don't respect.

Like 99% of women

The sad part is the sound in her voice as she realizes he is never gonna change! She has to sell her assets to pay off the house cuz that dude is gonna fleece her if she threatens divorce! He’s no dummy! He knows she will continue to work and bring in that high salary as long as there’s a balance on the house!

@@Coupal1I totally agree !

Hand Out?! He WORKs! FT!

Congratulations on your getting out and on with your life without him!

Why he didn’t allow you to save in 401/ira?

@@stickerlady1774 he wanted to spend every penny for a lifestyle that was up to his standards. We declared bankruptcy twice and lost our house to foreclosure. When I left I had no savings and about $55k in debt (mostly my student loan).

I don’t understand what you mean by let you? Were you in a domestic violence situation?

@@SimplySania something like that. It was a complete financial power-control abuse situation.

I have heard crazy nurse stories lately too, why is this??

It's because we rescue people. We save them, come hell or high water. We can't help ourselves until we become conscious of how we enable crazy and support it. Lots of people besides us nurses do this. Many men do this and then end up supporting crazy wives for many years. This woman has to decide if she is okay with her husband as he is. He is not going to change and that is fine. She can divorce him, but then what? If she was not getting something out of this, she would not have stayed for 29 years. So find his value and love it. Because he has value. Now she suddenly realizes she is at retirement age and she has been so busy and unaware that she panics. So it is easy to blame him. But it takes two to tango, and he has been dancing too, just not doing the steps she suddenly demands.

43 years RN here! Yeah I've seen so many nurses marry deadbeats. I think lazy guys target female nurses 'cuz they know they will always have a job.

Bingo! Sadly, too many nurses in a similar situation! 😔🙏🏼

This isn't IN ANY WAY what I see with the nurses I've worked with. It is true of the women I know who decided a long time ago to stay in a marriage that has been DOA for decades.

He’d never say that about a female doing the same thing. Most households in America men make far more and women spend far more

Hahaha, so usually the roles are flipped 9/10 times. Enjoy it. Women always complain but have no empathy for men. 😂

Look how everyone is freaking out cause she makes more..if it was the other way nobody would blink 😂😂

oh they would bro, and they would call her a gold digger, be serious now... men always freak out when they suspect a women is only with them to finance their lives, but most of the time the money is going towards running or operating the household they collectively want to create. In this case, he's making no effort, which is unlike most women who tend to give up their careers to raise children and maintain homes... and he's going to... golf like a clown contributing nothing @@Tunechi65

@@Tunechi65Right, but it get it, nobody should be surprised by the double standard.

​@@Tunechi65because this is a rare relationship

His bad takes are like half the reason he has a following: he's entertaining. In between firing a woman for getting pregnant and pulling a gun on his staff, he's made some entertaining and questionable decisions.

He ruins marriages.

​@@miketheyunggod2534How?

@@miketheyunggod2534he doesn’t ruin marriages, they are already ruined when the caller calls. He just points it out.

Sooooooooo true♥️

Divorce-he gets half including her retirement!

But we know he's not going anywhere.

That and a similar social class.

@@dbdb4962 why? They are in this together. Why is pay rate an issue?

@djkenny1202 because it is most of the time. Look at Britney Spears marrying below her...how well did that work? Mel B, Kelly Clarkson, MacKenzie Scott, all the calls coming into Dave ramsey of people with huge social class gaps.

@@dbdb4962 they are a Team. Theres no social class gap.all I am seeing is really shallow people, here. Wealthy famous people are an entirely different Trip. Often more problems arise because they are both at same level creating pressure. I have friends with varied jobs in relationships like, married. People I hang out with that are everything from Nurses, to DJ, Bike Shop Mechanics, Professors, Realtors, big investors. Many with wife being the bigging earning party. That’s not real these days. My wife and I are happily married and she is a middle school teacher, I raise kids, DJ, and manage our Airbnb. Plenty of dads doing the same or less than I do in terms of financial gain. It’s participating in making it all work.

They owe $180,000 on the house it’s worth over $400,000

Yes, I agree with that.

Exactly

Give him 50% if you bought it together, if not take your share

LoL, role is reversed for one out of ten situations boo hoo

@@Goat1229 I thought it was the daughter-in-law.

Soon woman will be like "wait, I earned all the money, but he gets half!!! And I have to pay him spousal support?? And he is the one the cheated on me?" Yes ladies, men have been doing this for decades, leading to their misery and high suicide rates

It ain’t no fun we the rabbit has the gun.

Poor lady! She needs to get rid of this bum and live the rest of her life doing what makes her happy.. I'm so happy that I got out of my situation. I bought a property on my own as he was against it all just like this person. I'm now single and very close to paying it off and have several hundred thousand dollars in equity while he's bouncing from couch to couch. Life is too short to be held back by people without ambition.

Someone suggested she pay off a rental and go live there and leave him with their current home he can't afford. I think that's a good option. I'm assuming he doesn't have a thing to do with her rentals.

I would imagine when they got married young, there was some sexual attraction that brought them together. At their ages is probably all evaporated and there's nothing left to hold a marriage together.

I’m a nurse, I married a 25 year my senior man. I worked so hard. He was so lazy…😢😢😢

This was me for 16 years. He paid for absolutely nothing. His money was his money. I finally got a divorce.

She loves money more than the man she married? Most women live ten years longer than men. Buy plenty of life insurance. She will have 100% of everything. Trying to find love the second time around could be difficult. Most single men have reasons for living that style.

Where did you get that they don’t love each other? She never said that!

She sounds like a controlling battle axe.

She’s the one complaining about the relationship I bet you the guy is happy. Why would you assume he doesn’t love her? Because of his finances? I hope you would insinuate that

Wouldnt*

Okay dude

@@dungeonmaster6292 you’re welcome

He is definitely not a therapist nor should he act like one. That is John’s job. When you call people stupid and they should have know better you are not acting as a mentor. If we all had wisdom we wouldn’t make some of our choices and that is the point of life, to learn. Teach with compassion.

Don't blame him. You get to a certain age and you just don't suffer fools gladly anymore

I wish 12 years ago

I wish 7 years ago

I knew about him since I was 10. Should've followed him 5 years before I did.

I wish a year ago

"When's the best time to plant a tree? 28 years ago. When's the next best time to do it? Right now."

May I ask which investments are good? I've been looking at a few different ones but want others' opinions as well

What I think everyone need is an adviser, who can help you get in and out of any investment at any time and you'd sure be in Profit. With this I feel anyone can basically achieve financial freedom

*STEPHANIE KOPP MEEKS* , That's whom i work with

You can glance her name up on the internet and verify her yourself. she has years of financial market experience

Thanks so much I was able to find her page and I already leave her a message

It cannot be taught in schools. Teachers really are not that smart. I know I was a teacher as a 3rd career and was surprised at how little real education is being taught.

This sounds like something the divorce attorney James Sexton said.

Hard to do at 65 years old.

Scared of being alone..

That's very true. We don't know the whole story, could be she just has to be the boss babe and he values his peace so he's going at his pace and she's outpacing him. Like they have different values

Much quicker on a TV segment to just take the one side.

There could be more than one side to this story. Hard to judge without hearing the other side. We don't really know why he is so checked out.

She definitely gave off the boss babe vibe the moment she said she made such a major financial decision like buying rentals without his support.

I say if you’re in your 60s with zero retirement and you use extra money to golf you are the problem.

This is where Dave, like so often, is WRONG. For all we know, the interest on the house may be 2.5%. I have 2.65 on my mortgage and I know people in the 2.5 or lower, and this us in a 30 year fixed. I know Dave is anti-debt at all cost, but with raging inflation the money may be better invested elsewhere than paying off the primary house mortgage. Dave and the other guy criticize the husband, but most men are in the same situations as this woman with their wives earning substantially more, and I've never heard Dave say divorce your wife of 29 years. This is isane.

Yes, I agree.

⁠The salary discrepancy may be the cause. They are not sharing their money. She may be asking him to contribute more of his income to get the house paid off. We don’t know his reasons for not wanting to.

​@@_m_K_.Agreed.

@@alexisjankowski3281I think you’re on to something. They have separate finances. He’s spent 29 years doing what he wants with his, and what she wants with her. And now she wants them to team up and pay off the house? Which means he might have to give up something he enjoys, like golfing. And if that’s the only thing he does… I can see his not wanting to give that up. Where was the togetherness in the start of the marriage?

Fair point.

Well he doesn't want to downsize also. What about that?

I bet they do not split anything involving expenses equally. He peaked at $45,000 a year income. The man was not about to try for equality. He was enjoying his golf fees.

She has two jobs , that's why she makes more money. He plays golf...which takes hours. He knows that she will eventually pay off the house on her own...

There are never guarantees. Only odds that are in favor or not favorable. As painful as it seems, better it happened before marriage and children.

@@carlaritchie331 oh yeah they exposed themselves. That said I believe they made one of the worst decisions of their life by abandoning what we had but that’s their problem not mine.

actions speak louder than words

But she didn,t marry a Man...she fell in love with CHAD..!! Good looks ..probably tall...and ignored what a loser he really was... a Lesson to all you females that go for the Chads and Tyrones...

Two people can be equal partners and co-providers, without either one being lazy or being "the boss".

​@@christinebutler7630false. You can only have 1 leader. Doesn't mean that 1 leader isn't heavily influenced by the wife. When a major decision has to be made for a family, One person must pull that trigger

​@@christinebutler7630great comment! In Europe the big majority of women and/or mothers work full time, which man still can provide on his own for his wife, her retirement (and kid/s)?? My mother & my aunt were still able to stay at home when my cousins & i were toddlers in the 1970s, but even then, it was their modest life period. They went back to work when we entered Kindergarten. I learned from them to try and become less bossy than my personality would allow 😂, but i'm my own boss and my husband is his. I like strong men who who do not fear independant women, and they're also smart not to work their ... off for 2-5 people and die early 😊

​@@davidcolletti7136if this is your way or telling the world you're short, unattractive, and bitter, you're doing a helluva job. Maybe if you worked on your personality and hit the gym, you'd have a woman to focus on. I've dated guys who are 6'3" and guys who are 5'6". And I've known many men of different ages, races, income brackets, and educational attainment. But at the end of the day it comes down to personality and values and my estimation is that about 1% of men are suitable partners. You guys think too highly of yourselves and don't understand that self-sufficient women with high self-esteem have VERY high standards that very few men can meet.

It's a wrong call. She married her husband because she loved him. Most women live longer than men by ten years. She get 100% of everything. Buy plenty of life insurance on him. Continue to love him and be happy. What makes her think she can find love the second time around? Most single men are by themselves for a reason. 🤔🤑❤

"A lump sat on the sofa, getting his golf shoes on" 😅

Yes indeed.

Some, if not most people, need confirmation from a third party before they make certain life changes because others around them, even that voice in their head, is telling them they may be wrong.

@@neneyounge most people can't think for them selfs......

For the sake of your children, it seems best to end the marriage. A deep conversation with your husband, letting him know how you feel. Keep it civil without judgement or anger. If you are able to, speak with a lawyer. I know they’re costly but you’ll know what options you have. Ask family members for financial help, if you’re able. Scout available jobs as you’re going to need one. You won’t believe how big the World is once you go it on your own. It won’t be easy, however, in the end you’ll have a beautiful new, exciting future. When you realize how much time you wasted, you’ll be even more dedicated to finding your interests. It will all work out. Change is rough. If you approach change knowing the best is yet to come, you’ll be able to embrace it as something that had to happen in order to have your new life. You have lovely children and a life experience from your married life. Much more is coming when you’re able to think clearly. After every disaster, there’s triumph. I have a feeling you’ll be that rising Phoenix. You and your children are going to make it. 🙏🪷❤️

They’re both 65

Agreed. You provided a lot more insights into their possible relationship than Dave and Deloney did.

I also concur. She probably has people in her ear telling her she doesn't have an equal relationship. There's equal, and there's equitable. She's also not asking for help; she's just explaining her situation. She chose to do these things.

❤❤❤ Exactly!! It's not Always about money! That can become a god or idol to people. Jesus said if you have food and clothing be content with what things that you have.

I could never do the joint account thing. I did it one time and it eroded all of my trust in women. I'll never get married, but if I ever get into another committed, live together type relationship with a woman then it will be separate accounts. At no point will she have access to my money, nor me hers.

@@oldscratch3535myself and my husband have a joint account, all the big bills come out of it, I have my account and I buy all the food shopping and anything I need. We’ve paid the mortgage off and have a 20 year old at home. It’s worked for us because I worked , not earn a lot but kept us in our home etc. some woman or men just want to be kept, I think nowadays few can get by on one wage

I doubt you and your husband were exactly like this couple. This woman in one word is overwhelming. She has all the qualities of a man with the unaccountable nature of a woman. Meaning she wanted to be in charge and her husband let her take control of the relationship. However here is where the unaccountable part comes in unlike a man she wanted to be a boss without paying the bills. Men understand in relationships they have to pay the bills so naturally they take charge. If a woman wants to take charge pay the bills and keep it moving.

Love him, but get life insurance. She get 100% if she out lives him.🙂❤❤❤❤

@belgicahernandez Wow. You have an interesting story. I am glad that you got out of a situation where you were with someone, but still felt alone. Good on you for leaving the marriage since you felt that way. How did you manage to find a place to live on getting just $1,000.00 a month? Just curious.

You needed a lawyer

When I hear men say that women have taken all their money, I roll my eyes as I see that women get the short straw in these situations.

@@jet4415 those men had no money in the first place. I bet their exes propped them up.

100% I can’t say I’m surprised cause Dave is a boomer and the psychologist definitely has a bad case of the “women are wonderful” effect..but man these oldies need to get with the times. Traditionalism is dead!

But this guy hasn't been doing any of that! 😅

Oh, my sainted aunt! What a pit of miry clay, how did you work out your salvation from that?

Then wouldn’t it just be a verbal thing to be in support on?? Such a sad situation either way

I thought the same thing @Neddie2k. She already went and bought 2 houses that he wasn’t on board with - they could’ve already paid the house off. She just does whatever she wants.

She st a Ted he didn't want to pay their home off.

@@amandalee714And it was that way for 30 years. Why is he going to get on board now?

thats what I am hearing here. She seems like she was always going to implement her plans. And didn't need him to sign off on them.

Oh brother. She’s trying to set up their future by investing and sadly she’s tied to dead donkey. Women tend to plan for both themselves and their husband because men never seem to plan for anything.

I think that's a good assessment.

Well, she could have left him earlier before she bought those properties or earned a lot of money. I also see this all the time. The fact that she did not leave him earlier in her life means there is another narrative about their relationship. Plus, he could have divorced her then had she cheated on him when he was the one who funded her studies.

I heard nurses have the highest infidelity rates of all professions so it could be the case. There’s always two sides.

Yeah

I have literally heard this. Like money is the reason for the family structure.

Yes.

This is about more than paying off the house

And without her primary residence secured.

Well dirty Dave is a simp, so obviously women can do no wrong and men are always 10000% responsible for every wrong thing ever

@@robertatkins272 In the baby steps, you are supposed to pay off your primary home before you start investing in real estate. Why didn't Dave call her out on that?

They are investments. She is literally making sure they have retirement. Investing is a job like nursing is a job

I think it’s not the nineteenth century.

Men and women are different and should be treated as such.

I have learned not to offer any advice because people think you are a fool and they know better. They always have some stupid math to prove their point.

When you're 50 and your net worth is a million higher than his, it might affect him then. 😂

@@SnifferSock at 37 its already 1 million higher lol im worth around 800 he worth around -100k

It doesn’t matter because he’s going to have a long way to even.

Staying together doesn’t make it better either though. He’s not bringing in money and is also not willing to make decisions to help themselves in the future.

@@rtownz251251she’s screwed either way at this point she won’t be able to retire comfortably

You don't know the full story or his side of the story. @@tttray4258

She deserves to lose half.

Equality