Yup, and then turned on the water works like a child to avoid accountability for her deceit.

King David didn't come clean. God can redeem any time.

@@xtheshredderxx5473 I’m not sure what you’re saying exactly, but until this woman owns it, there is no redemption. I’m guessing your god knows her true intentions? Humility would serve her well, and a grip on reality.

​@@xtheshredderxx5473and David paid a great price for it.

Some people have problems

Agree .. I had a $800 debt and freak out. I hate debt. It kills.

Drinking champagne on a beer budget! You don't even have to swipe and more just tap or way your phone like a wand.

@chaplainrandy577 it's the fact they are loaned so much

I have $5500 and it scares me (it's getting paid tho)

50k credit card debt with average interest rate at 20% , means 10k interest a year , insane ! so scary

I think you forgot about the baby coming, so he has no choice.

​@@dudeorduuude5211paternity test would save him quite some trouble

@@dudeorduuude5211 He should say to her, " Let's get a paternity test before the baby is born"!

Patriarchy to blame

She better start shopping at Victoria secrets only from now on while he works his ass off.

good job! god bless. Anyone can recover with a gazelle mindset.

I agree with this, spending disorders are very strongly correlated with emotional problems. People need help with this; if they have shame for their spending fear will lead them to dishonesty. We all need to look at spending and mental health more closely!

3 times? I would have shut the account down

WOW! 😮 You dug yourself out of 170K in credit card debt. I know that card with 100K on it had a ridiculous payment. I used to work in the industry. Salute to you. 🥃

Get a prenup, any of the credit card debt incurred by your wife is hers.

Divorce. This is unacceptable

Betamale

Exactly, how the hell does one person rack up $50,000?!?! He was doing everything!

@@paleo704 Precisely, she played him like a violin.

He's unfortunately trying to be a good man. That usually just equates to being a sucker

Well they're also TAKING HOME $120,000/yr.

Then freak out even more when you owe another $57k on top of that.

@@roadrunner9622 That's f all.

I know, I needed a procedure so now I owe 1k and am freaking out, I couldn’t breathe owing anyone this much

Same. I owe $7k in student loans and that is frustrating to me 😂

And then he would inherit half the debt

I get your point as I warned my wife when she racked up 5k in cc debt. I was like you better fix it NOW! It worked n we're very happy.

@@paleo704 It wouldn’t matter. I lied.

Rightfully so.

That's why you're still married. You do him wrong and you know your life with him is over.

She can be a shopaholic without cheating. I am one and used to buy myself clothes. Now I just shop for samaritan purse shoeboxes bc then the stuff goes back out the door in November.

Shopaholic and maybe cheating as well.

Why would she need to rack up credit card debt to have an affair?

@@montymython754 hotel rooms, dinners out, gifts, lots of ways to rack up debt. Especially since the husband said he didn't see any big ticket items coming into the house. $50k in debt and no major purchases? Sounds super shady

@@montymython754 gifts, hotels, dinners. You name it.

I bet there's more to the story. Paternity test at a minimum.

If she felt she could do whatever she wanted then why bother hiding it. Just tell the guy you want this random stuff more than you want a good financial situation. Ironically, by hiding it, it shows 1. that she knows it's wrong 2. some tiny bit of respect for his opinion of her

Don't fall for the "I'm a PREGNANT "woman" crap....that was softens the situation to try to give her leeway....she very likely did NOT run up 50k over the last few months....."the baby" just gives her cover for whatever else ( and perhaps WHOEVER else) she was doing

I'm expecting baby 5 in 3 months and haven't spent that much on the first 4 combined.

​@@ericstewart517 I don't know how spending more money equals cheating. I suspect it rather shows an addiction, like a shopping addiction.

I wouldn’t bail her out either. My mom did the same thing to my dad, but on car loans. He didn’t bail her out. He told her to pay it off. She actually did. The only responsible thing she ever did in her life, because he didn’t coddle her, for once.

He stayed married to her? He enslaved himself too.

good for him!

She deserves it.

She committed fraud.

Agree. She's supporting some young hunk I bet.

That's not a bad idea. I would return whatever you can. that sounds rediculous for consumer spending.

It probably wasn’t all on baby supplies, this amount probably grew through the years. When you pay the minimal payment only and the card has a 20% interest rate……..the total grows like a weed. Compounded with you keep charging things on the card.

Yeah, its not like they don't have a decent income to buy what's needed. 50k in secret is insane. Need to look at the statements to see what was charged.

My ex opted to take $4k a month in cash advances on our HELOC instead of telling me his business wasn’t bringing in money. Childish, selfish, self-serving, and narcissistic behavior. No ethics, no morals, no character. Then he walked away leaving me to take care of everything. Some people just never grow up.

Ooof! Heavy but true and good advice!

Uuuu you went deep. Paternity test. Wow but you have a valid point.

While he was eating left overs for lunch and staying home, she was having lobster and hanging out. Unfortunately, you can't return food, cocktails and trips to the spa.

Thats the first thing I told my wife, he needs a test.

Get on the Maury show for some pay at least... Results are in: You are NOT THE FATHER!

Must be one hot wife I gather.

Good luck trying to change someone like that. 50K going on for a long time. No hope if you ask me.

When h said she started crying I understood he is fkced. Crying shows she gives zero fcks, it's emotional manipulation at this point.

Lol your not gonna change someone like that.. She knew what she was doing for months and months..she's a pos. Divorce. Shoulda never got married anyway.. Still don't understand that men in this day and age get married and have kids. You wanna live paycheck to paycheck, have zero free time, high stress levels, forced overtime, annoying wife, etc.. Then the kid and be on lock for 18+ years..

@@user-fn9cs4dv8r 🎯🎯🎯

I wouldnt divorce my wife but I will make sure she pays for it ...The bills are hers so she pays for it herself...SOmeone people will divorce but I think thats a little to excessive

@@Experience1945 honestly, that type of decision making is how people look up 20yrs later with zero retirement and a lot of shoulda, coulda, wouldas. Her mentality and willingness to be deceitful is a huge deal and should not be taken lightly. It goes far beyond just money with people like her. She is a danger and should not be trusted. You don’t handle people like her with kid gloves or they will continue to run over you.

@@whosaidthat9265 Couldn’t agree more! 💯

Appreciate your thought. Pretty much agree. Very dangerous.

There is a reason she did this no excuses and I think there is way more to this than he is telling us.

Oh good grief. It's not that dramatic

@@marikiemarie7622so if a man fucks other women it’s not a that big of a deal. Spending days weeks and months pathologically lying and planning things behind somebodies back isn’t a big of a deal?! Yea sure

The HELL it is!😮

True story: Scout mom with two kids under 16 married a wonderful guy. He immediately took control of their finances, including investing her $20,000.00 rainy day fund. Three months into the marriage they found out she was pregnant; a week or two after that she discovered that their finances had crashed. When she confronted him, he confessed that he was a casino gambler in debt. She told him to leave. He was an elder at his church and he made a crying confession before the congregation. He deceived her and married her under false pretenses (he may have been after an income stream to pay off his gambling debts). It messed up her relationship with her kids, and the church is piling on guilt for her to submit to her husband and take him back. It was easy for my friend and I to encourage her that considering divorce was not a bad thing (we are believers), for her it is an awful situation to be in. 😧

It's not enough to ruin their financial future. If it continues, it is. It's not that much money.

Digging yourself out of 50K in credit card debt is EXTREMELY difficult, especially with an interest rate of 20%+. It’s not something to take lightly.

Got more to think about with a baby coming now. Can't just nuke it.

@@goforbroke2 I agree it is difficult. At the end of 2017 I had $55,000 in credit card debit. At that time I made a plan to pay it off and paid it off completely by early 2021. It's not easy but can be done with commitment to the process and perseverance. I definitely did not take it lightly.

Girl same! Going to send this to my husband 😂

Same lol, I’m the frugal one.

Love the unabashed championing of ourselves

Nothing like thinking highly of yourself.

😂😂😂😂😂

Correct, that money is going somewhere and who knows what else she's been doing. Getting a paternity test is a must for him. She can't be trusted.

Paternity tests should be mandatory regardless of marital status!

man.. you got it.. probably the child is not his..awfully crude way to realize it.

@@Gypsy2057the money was going to support Chad, the child’s real dad ….. he needs to maintain an expensive lifestyle to seed up such women

This is true. Financial infidelity can mean the difference between having a home and living in the streets.

It can literally change your entire future

In some ways it's worse, because of the guaranteed financial collateral damage that comes with.

I agree. I don't even buy clothes for the kids without telling my husband. I laughed at him because he told me he was going to buy another pair of sneakers, and this lady racked up 50K in debt behind his back? How can they rebuild trust after this, I don't know.

Not to me. Both are bad but sexual infidelity brings a 3rd person into the marriage in a very intimate way. I could forgive the financial infidelity if it is worked through but I would never forgive the other. But that's just me.

The only way this can happen to you is if you are entirely uninvolved in your household finance or your wife is an absolute lying psychopath. If you stay involved it can't really occur.

The fact that you watched your mom do that and still signed a contract that incentivizes the other party to break it is beyond amazing to me...

My wife is a doctor and I still work the budget lol I can't even get my wife to look at the app to see the checking account so I always have to tell her what's in it.

@andrew8168 , your argument is because a bad thing happened to someone it is completely unavoidable? Do you ever leave your house? I have a buddy who was mugged. I still go into the city. I have a sister who was hit by a car crossing the road. I still cross the road. I have a buddy who was killed by a drunk driver in a head on collision. I still drive my own car. The solution is not to be afraid to get married. The solution is to find the right person, work together as a team, and in all the other cases pay attention to what is going on.

​@@zachjones2346same here. It's kind of nice to have someone completely trust you but sometimes I think to myself how easy it'll be to financially devastate her if I was evil

YESS!!!!!

Well if they got a divorce and he was the sole breadwinner the court would make him responsible for that debt anyway through alimony.

Clear as day. And as for the 'advice' gynocentrism is strong with these celebrity christians.

​@@Ricman7810:07

How could anyone not notice $50,000 worth of stuff unless it's fine jewelry tucked away in a drawer? That's the point!

I’m l

Yes I can’t give my husband a credit card. He racked up 3k in one month. He never checked the app never called the 1-800. I put my foot down and get only cash/debit. He says I treat him like a child but that’s how he acts when he gets a credit card.

@@2jcward It's the best tuff love one can give. For God sake it's avoiding a stressful debt lifestyle. I hope all is well on your part. Cheers.

@@2jcward Thats just wild to me, I’ll never understand how people can just wrack up debt like its a game. I’m sure you have explained this to him. If we have 100$ in our checking account, we cannot afford 150$ of whatever. XD Its just common sense, or it should be.

Yup. He didn't need three days before calling Dave to come to grips with financial infidelity.... he's been sweating over the possibility of carnal infidelity and whether that baby is his.

Nothing but Gucci diapers and socks

He said the baby stuff was only recent and that it was extra groceries, or so she told him that. I am sure she snuck tons of clothes in the house and has them hiding somewhere

Maybe like ALL the nursery stuff. Still how dud she rack up $50, 000, fly to Europe to buy stuff?

Agree 50k! She's supporting some younger guy I bet.

The question is..... his name Chad or Tyrone?

​@@mikeb8342😂

Right! Then she starts crying…typical!

nothing wrong with that. You should be making plenty of money and getting ready for retirement

​@@tam6011 Got through a mountain of debt and enjoying early frugal retirement.

Sounds like you are finding the wrong type of women.

Exactly brother

Hopefully you got a DNA test before signing any papers

Dude! If he's your buddy, you gotta stop his insanity..... a freaking intervention!

That's why botox, lip injections, eyebrows, and other superficial BS are major red flags to me. It's like patterns on a venomous snake... RUN!

@@mikeb8342 I guess maybe he’s not my buddy after all?

Friends don’t let friends simp

@@mikeb8342 I’ve let him go as a friend.

I wouldn’t be that sure about it. Doomed no. Very likely she got addicted to the fact that she got that “free money of use “ and have a problem of this kind. Maybe his wife is loving, kind and good woman who has a money spending problem. I wouldn’t be that critical even though the situation is bad and hard for a man to swallow.

@@user-hr4tq5hj4rvery likely that this marriage will end up in divorce,marriage like this don’t last long

Nope. Keep spending into bankruptcy. Dave went bankrupt. It’s a great way to clean up a mess now. And she can’t spend on credit card when they’re all turned off

problem is he will pay a lot more than just the 50k if this goes to divorce. The courts will reward the wife with alimony, child support and his pension. Not to mention the debt she created

@@boston312 in the long run, divorce will save him money.

@@boston312 Actually if she "dissipated marital assets", that amount would be subtracted from her portion of their assets. Even in a no fault state.

​@@martha7811depends on the judge..... Plenty of judges go rouge and just shaft the guy. You weren't aware that family and divorce courts are stacked against men?

Trust in God not mankind.

Ya think??

You seem like a good women.

😂😂😂 Facts. As a woman I find him so annoying

😂 true

My wife won’t watch if he’s on.

​@@CurieBohrsame. John is just not smart

You all are acting like weenies. Haha, you are triggered!

Yup. I've heard women use that financial abuse when all the husband wanted was a Budget.

Yup next thing she plays the victim and tells her friends he's financially abusive and they tell her to talk to an attorney. He could lose everything yet.

@@Labbernese77 🎯

Not always, my husband committed financial infidelity after 2 years of marriage. He took full responsibility for what he did and never did it again. We are now happily married 33 years.

@@djpuplex that’s a two way street

Thats terrible

wow😮

WTF. She should have gotten another job to pay that off herself.

Not grounds for divorce at all, unless your vows were something like "I promise to be your husband unless you cost too much money"

Consider?! It’s an absolute must IMO. He’s fucked no matter what he does, it’s damage limitation from here on. He needs to get a good attorney ASAP. He’ll end up having to pay for half of her mess no matter what, but that beats paying for all of it.

@@matthewhook3375 Yeah I agree. I should have said must, but wasn't concerned with symantics.

If she knows what she is doing, the baby absolutely is his. She probably spent most that $50k on baby stuff that he never saw. Its at her bf house or in a storage unit. She will wait till after birth, then become a monster to him till he snaps, then blame him for all the relationship problems, divorce him, take him for half of everything and then she will move on while he gets to clean up the mess, including most of the debt. He will be paying child support to her no matter what (unless he gets primary custody (yeah alrighty then), and most likely alimony as well. Or, he nips it in the bud, and divorces her, still gets to pay alimony and child support but at least will keep his sanity. No matter what hes gonna get 🪛 but at least he can do it on his terms

Your reaching with your assumptions

Baby going to be black. 😂😂

There's a baby on the way. How are you going to jump straight to a divorce? She's a Shopaholic that's all. She needs treatment

​​@@georgewagner7787no... we can't jump into conclusions, she's a pathological liar. I'm sure she's done other infidelitys. This dude needs to go further down the rabbit hole.

$50,000 is alot of money to purposely hide from your husband...he needs to do more investigation ..

@@georgewagner7787 But she was cruel to allow him to get that phone call from collections. In his innocence, he said there must be some mistake. A horrifying moment for him.

She used the money for something else. Like maybe a vacation. Or maybe she has a double life with another man. No way baby stuff and food for years cost 50K. That money went somewhere else.

🎯 If he stays he’ll be like the guy earlier in comments who said is wife spent 35 grad, he stayed, she spent anther 35 grand, he stayed the she spent 100 grand. WTF

She also knows he will be taking care of another man's child.

Gold digger

​@@chaplainrandy777probably. She came clean about the $50K real quick after getting caught.... because she hoped to stop further investigation into WHAT (WHO?) she was spending that money on.

Who wants to bet she’ll be giving him shit for “never being here for me and the baby” while he’s busting his ass to clean up her mess. Poor guy chose a real wrong’un. He’s fucked. Completely.

Oh my god ...this is so bad instead of grieving u started hating dem.....of course u wont say hate but that's wat u feel at the end

@@marrykamei733 I love how you resort to name calling rather than deal with the actual facts. My late wife was a staunch republican. She was the president of the BelAir Republican Women's Federation. My difficulty was that she concealed absurd purchases from me. If your spouse did that to you, would you call them a dem? The betrayal of trust did interfere with my grieving process. Who would not have issue with that? You are disgusting. You ignored the facts and tried to apply labels to me.

@@gbinman I read and reread what that person wrote and I think you took it the wrong way. My take- dem meant them. I don't think the op meant any harm. :) Sorry for all you had to go through with your late wife.

Not all do it. I don’t - & I make 3 times the money my husband makes. I am more of a tight wad than he is too.💰

​@@davisholman8149But, is there a difference? Does your spouse spend thousands and not tell you? Salary difference aren't an issue ... spending and hiding it is.

This man going to work overtime to pay off crap that wasn't even his or enjoys any of it. 50,000$, mamamiyah! Hard pass on this marriage, I would be out the door.

She’d be crying when she found out I sold something of hers everyday until caught.

I think that is called gaslighting, and while this guy is doing marriage counseling he should be 'secretly' talking to lawyers about divorce and a paternity test.

​@@jrus690💯

All women do not behave this way. Being an adult means being responsible for yourself and to others in your life. If she is not working she probably should be however with a baby coming and him working overtime it might be hard to find child care.

he gonna get financially screwed in a divorce. He never should have got married in the first place

@@boston312 like he is packing stacks as of now Why not cut the tumor and pay once and for all

​@@boston312he'll be more financially screwed if he stays with her.... AND miserable. Might as well rip the bandaid off.

Why are you watching a religious mans show 😂😂😂😂

@@DefiningDiane m watching a finance show , if u watch something u may or may not agree with his views M not dave or any other xtian who cant live with disagreement or imposes their bs religion on others

Or a thing other people do.....

Marriage can be wonderful...but you need to VET, VET, VET, VET anyone you decide to date.....much less marry.

@@user-pw4lm8er8xbest comment on The internet. And truest.

@@dancalmpeaceful3903 🎯🎯🎯

​@@dancalmpeaceful3903yuuuuuup

Yes, blame the victim!

@@robloxvids2233 Its true, Dr. Jordan Peterson says people always leave evidence, redflags and signs in relationships but the vast majority of people ignore them

​@@robloxvids2233grow up. Victims have responsibility and things to learn too. He also clearly wasn't paying attention while on his paying off debt journey, tracking expenses, etc.

I agree. It is impossible to not notice $50k of new things. I think she’s cheating on him and that is where a lot of the money is going.

$50K over 6 months is definitely noticeable...a year not so much.

I understand your concerns, my friend. I recommend exploring passive index fund investing and expanding your knowledge in this area. Personally, I experienced both successes and challenges when initially seeking a reliable passive income..

STEPHANIE KOPP MEEKS, that's whom i work with look her,....

STEPHANIE KOPP MEEKS

Thanks for these recommendations.....

Look up the “no bastard law” that’s what it’s called. If this child was conceived within marriage by law he will be legally responsible. Paternity doesn’t matter. 🤷‍♀️ If the child is conceived outside marriage you have two years to contest the paternity and if not done and your name is on the birth certificate you will be legally required to pay for that child. All in all choose your partner wisely.

@@rukiaiceprincess6369 That's not a thing in Texas. You have to sign the birth certificate and you can get a paternity test first before you sign it. Even if you did sign it, you can within a short time contents it with the court and the court may terminate the parent child relationship. IF child support was ordered at some point, you would still need to pay until the child support/parent child relationship is terminated. That's why you need to check before an order is put in place. Even if that order changes at some point in the future, you still owe the money and aren't entitled a refund.

​@@rukiaiceprincess6369not really, it can be a ground for divorce No bastard laws etc are solidified if he signs paper and birth certificate, he can contest it to begin with

😂🤣😂

I have always had separate bank accounts

Bad idea long term, don’t marry the wrong person

You’re not fully commited

separate accounts are what caused this problem- they need to have 1 single account and no accounts they don't share

@@cnh7262 lol, you can never know. Just don't get married, period. Not worth it for any man.