Hi everyone! Jonathan here, just getting in front of this. Adults diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder likely won't resemble Buddy the Elf. Because of the childlike nature of the character, what he demonstrates is an exaggerated, comedic version of what ADHD looks like in kids. In this episode we cover more of what it's like to parent an ADHD child, give practical advice, and offer research-based hope. For those who are curious, to qualify for ADHD one most demonstrate five or more symptoms of both inattention and hyperactivity (according to the DSM-V). With inattention, Buddy displays 1) difficulty sustaining attention [the doctor's office] 2) fails to follow through on tasks and instructions [doesn't meet established standards in toy-making] 3) is easily distracted [throughout the film] 4) avoids/dislikes tasks requiring sustained mental effort [again, toy-making], though it should be said he CAN maintain attention if he's excited or passionate about something, and 5) lacks attention to detail [slow on the uptake with a LOT of things about life outside the North Pole, but again not with things he's excited about]. With hyperactivity, Buddy is 1) "on the go" as if driven by a motor, 2) talks excessively 3) blurts out answers 4) interrupts or intrudes on others and 5) has difficulty engaging in quiet, leisurely activities. As we discuss in the episode, there are many ways for persons with ADD and ADHD to thrive and excel in life. Both Alan and I have ADD, and we know that path very well :) Those looking for support and guidance may wish to consult a psychologist for individual therapy.

"LADIES 😏" "NO, Dont Do That!" "GENTLEMEN 😏

Fun fact in case you didn’t know: the whole scene where Buddy gets to New York was shot in one day with a camera following Will Ferrell (in character) interacting with random people on the street.

"'You must be creative.' No! I have a chemical imbalance." As an artist with ADHD who writes, draws, dances, does theater, cosplays, and sings, truer words have never been spoken.

"It's attention MISMANAGEMENT disorder" YES THANK YOU. As someone with ADHD, that is a constant struggle to make people understand.

When he said people with ADHD tend to excel as therapists, I got a little happy. I am a master student psychology with ADHD :)

“ you must be creative.” “No. I have a chemical imbalance.” I can picture the look of confusion on my art teacher’s face.

I was around 12 or 13 when this movie came out. I remember my mom hating it because according to her, Buddy acted like a "little brat". The thing is growing up I was constantly holding back the urge to act like this because she had made it very clear that doing so was not only wrong but disrespectful towards her. She always says I was such a well-behaved child, but what I've always been hesitant to tell her was that I had no real idea what was deemed as bad behavior unless someone directly told me and at that point, it was too late. So I figured the best thing I could do was just sit down and be quiet.

When I explain my ADHD to people, and what my needs are, I say, “I can either sit still or listen, you can’t have both.” My body can usually be still if my mind is allowed to wander. But if I need to be focused and engaged in something that doesn’t already include physical activity, it’s best if I have something to do with my hands, like crocheting or drawing. That keeps part of my brain busy so the rest of it can listen in a meaningful way.

ADHDers: I've connected the two dots. Neurotypicals: You didn't connect shit. ADHDers: I've connected them. Thank you, Alan, for explaining this condition in meme format.😂

even therapy is in the Christmas mood

As someone who repeatedly got told to stop being so sensitive/loud/annoying by everyone they knew as a kid, including my parents, and in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, the part where they say to embrace and encourage that side of your kids made me cry.

My son was not diagnosed with Asphergers and ADD until the 10th grade. His H.S. guidance councilor said he was lazy. I told her she was full of crap. I said "I know lazy. Lazy does not build a complete beach scene with mountains, water, stores (including a costume shop) out of loose legos." I had him tested that year and he drastically improved. Did find out about 6 months after this comment that the school had put him in a class that he had not had a pre-req for. So his failing grade was not because of lazy or ADD or Asphergers but because the school put him in a class that he should have never been in.

It never occurred to me that Buddy has ADHD, but I suppose he does have kid adhd symptoms....

Me, a 14-year-old girl, getting parenting advice and fun neurological facts at 2 in the morning.

"Am I sick?" "Yes, but that's not why we're here" 🤣 such an underrated line

The scene where his dad asks "What do you want, money?!" and he responds "No, I just wanted to get to know you." I relate to it so hard as someone who grew up without ever meeting his dad and when he finally did, the dad wanted nothing to do with him. And in the same way he just assumes his dad would be so happy to meet him and be with him, I've likewise had that feeling of "But....you're my dad. I'm your only son. Don't you want to know me?" I love this movie to death but it does hit me in very real ways that I only wish I had the optimism and cheerfulness Buddy does.

I have never so aggressively wanted a channel to take off as badly as I do this one. I'm sharing this page with legit everyone I know.

I've actually responded "no, I've got a chemical imbalance" heaps of times when people hear I have anxiety and they tell me to just "stop worrying."

ADHD nurse here (diagnosed as an adult). The inability to tune out all the beeps on the Med-Surg floor is both a blessing and a curse. Blessing: I notice when someone's IV pump is not functioning because I hear the beep and I must find the beep and make it stop because I can't do my other work, AKA charting, until I make the beep stop. Also, I am the quickest to answer a call light because otherwise, the beeps will continue, and that little part of my brain is always thinking "what if it's a little old lady who might try to climb out of bed and break her other hip if I don't answer this call light." And sometimes, I do find a creative way to make things work when we don't have the exact device we need for a specific patient's specific need. Curse: we do occasionally get a patient who will be on their call light every few minutes like the boy who cried wolf, and it completely takes me away from what I am "supposed to be doing". It also makes prioritizing very difficult because to an ADHD person "everything" is important.

It's so cool hearing you guys talk so positively about ADD and ADHD. One of my best friends has ADD and she says that one of her biggest frustrations with how ADD is perceived and understood is that it's so often characterized by how it affects the people around the person with ADD or ADHD. Like, a lot of people think about ADD in a "oh this person is going to be a lot to handle, oh they're going to have so much energy that I'll have to help manage" and instead of characterizing things from the person's point of view, it's characterized by the perspectives of the people around the person with ADD or ADHD. That's why I love this so much, because you guys are combatting the kinds of misconceptions my friend has spent most of her life battling against. You guys give a voice to something that is so often deeply misunderstood. My friend is one of the smartest people I know and people like you advocating for people like her make it that much easier for her to live her life exactly as she is (with Adderall).

"*mistakes, not abuse" is so important!

“Have you ever hit a tree with a stick? It’s life changing!” Ok my mom said so much stuff like this to my ADHD having self as a kid

Everyone always applauds Will Ferrell in this role, and it’s well deserved, but can we take a moment to appreciate the tactful, ultimately lovely performance of James Caan. RIP

I also noticed another psychological theme in this movie, the struggle of finding and healing your inner child. Buddy had a child-like personality, filled with innocence, wonder, and excitement, with a high tolerance for when things don’t go right. Meanwhile his new family, coworkers, love interest, and the strangers he met…all had lost connection with their inner child, becoming cogs in the machine in adult society. They learned the best way to get through is to keep their heads down and just do what they are told, leaving behind personal happiness, joy, and creativity…everything that makes life worth living. Buddy being loud and unashamed of his passions in a world that tries to limit him in a box like everyone else, shows people around him that it’s okay to be yourself, no matter what others say. And slowly, he starts to ignite the hearts of the people he cares about, waking their inner child again, reminding them of what life should feel like and not to take things too seriously. It really makes me emotional when I watch this movie, because I have someone in my life that reminds me of Buddy, and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them.

"self diagnosed but I can do that" looooool the benefits of being a psych person ✌🏻✌🏻

ADD is helpful as a nurse.... until it's time to sit down and chart 🤦‍♀️

“Give them structure, give them boundaries, teach them how to function, but don’t squelch it.” THANK YOU.

As a little person who is a huge fan of the movie Elf, I don’t get mad or offended when someone doesn’t know better. If they genuinely don’t know, I will stop and have a calm conversation with them

you should talk about family issues when there are no parents just siblings like in lilo and stitch and how one can be affected without a parent role modal

I got my ADHD diagnosis while in a therapy session when I joked about wondering if I had it because I'd gone off on seven different tangents in the span of like four minutes and my therapist looked at me funny and asked, "Did you not already know you have ADHD?"

Speaking as an adult with an ADHD diagnosis, the "dangle the shiny" approach is genuinely helpful. I can get understimulated very easily at work and love it when I have something repetitive to do with my hands, even if it's otherwise really boring.

God I wish I knew about my ADHD & Autism when I was a kid. I wasn’t a troublemaker or making bad grades, but socially every day was a nightmare. It was hard for me to make friends on SO many levels, I was really sensitive to perceived criticism and frustration from others (even if it wasn’t really there) and being generally weird definitely didn’t do me any favors I got the whole “gifted kid” label too, so the pressure to excel in everything was on from a very young age But HEY knowing what’s up with my brain now is better than never finding out

YES there's a difference between forgiving mistakes and abuse.

My younger brother was diagnosed with ADHD in first grade, and I watched the light go out of him as my parents did the best they knew how in the 80's & 90's - which was suppression and serious medication. (I am not anti-meds, but the combination wasn't good for him.) I decided that if I ever had an ADHD kid, I would try another route. Decades later, my youngest is very ADHD. In 3rd grade, the light started going out of her when her peers had no problem adjusting to longer periods of sitting still in the classroom and she struggled. She started accepting the label of "troublemaker" and this very bright child had slipping grades. We decided to try homeschooling before looking into suppression and meds. That was 3 years ago. She is thriving. She loves being able to move at her pace with academics (which is actually pretty accelerated). She loves being able to take breaks and jump on the trampoline. She tends to also feel grounded snuggled up against me. We are learning together what works best for her, and she's growing into being an amazing artist and musician. The biggest thing for her has been acknowledging that she experiences the world differently than many of her peers, but that it's okay. The world absolutely needs her unique perspective too. I know this isn't the answer for every child with ADHD. Every family has to find what works best for them. But I will say that as challenging as it is to parent a child with ADHD, it's also been an incredible gift. I'm so glad she's ours!! Thank you so much for acknowledging the good and wonderful things ADHD and ADD kids bring to this world!

I think one of the most surprising things I learned about my adhd is that it is the cause of my chronic exhaustion. According to my psychologist, because I’m processing so much more information than a neurotypical person I’m constantly tired.

"I was the kid that all the parents wanted their kid to date me" Yeah, I felt that. The girls didn't like me, but the girls' parents did.

You guys should talk about losing spouses in UP and how people isolate themselves

"Ladies..." "No, don't do that, I don't want-" "Gentlemen..." I laughed so hard omfg

Being told to "get out" anywhere can be extremely traumatizing. I used to work in a toxic job a few years ago and one day my boss yelled at me to get out of her office when I was trying to deliver a message that she had an important phone call on the line. To this day, I still feel upset when I hear that phrase and I keep having to remind myself that no one is saying it to me but it's still a challenge 😔

As an adult with ASD/ADHD and the elder child who went through my parents trying to learn how to raise a mentally messy child and all of this spoke to me and helped drive home why this is one of my favorite Christmas movies

“Ladies 😏😏😏” “No, don’t do that!” “GENTLEMEN 😏😏😏” 😅😂🤣 that part made me fall out lol you guys are hilarious!

"Self-diagnosed, but I can do that." Wow, what a flex!

Big thanks for saying “it’s not an attention deficit disorder, it’s an attention management disorder” because more people need to understand that. The number of times my husband and mother have been told they “can’t be ADHD! You focus in on ::insert subject they are known to hyper focus on here:: all the time” is ridiculously high and always reminds me of how little people understand the intricacies of the ADHD brain.

I have an adult son who is 26 years old with multiple disabilities including, intellectual disability, autism moderate, ADHD,. And tourette's. He was doing really well, however Since covid he has been steadily regressing and I'm very tired. I'm also so very glad I found this tonight. Hugs from a very tired but loving mom! Merry Christmas, and thank you again for this video, you have a new subscriber now!

The "*mistakes, not abuse" is what got me.

"Some become more aware of 'am I inconveniencing my parent?'" Me with anxiety: I'm actually, president of the company

My son has ADHD and also always very happy. EVERYONE (adults usually) who interacted with him it was the first thing they said was how engaging and "sweet" he was. However when he was elementary school age it was a lot like having a 6 month old St Bernard puppy... deliriously happy to be ANYWHERE and with ANYONE and blithely obtuse about his effects on the world as he wanders through life (or into oncoming traffic). At 14 years old he was still this way and I had serious concerns about doing driver's ed. At 15 years old his older (and more popular) sister took him in hand and helped him become much more "situationally aware". I don't know exactly what magic she worked but I still have the same amazingly sweet kid but he no longer is blindly wandering through life. He's driving well too. He's still a kid and still forgets often but he made the same kind of progress as Will Ferrell by the end of the movie. He's actually has the most severe ADHD but seems to be the best adjusted of my kids.

I'm diagnosed as autistic and adhd, and this movie is what I was like as a kid with intense anxiety added. Having people talk so positively about neurodiversity really means so much!

*_Jonathan looks like the Walmart Check out employee that calls everyone "Sir" and "Ma'am" and wishes them a blessed day every time they pass by-_*

As someone diagnosed with severe ADHD since a young age, there is SOOOO much I want to say, but I know you both are busy, so I’ll keep it brief: thank you. For this episode, for all of the other episodes, and for the impact you make on your viewers lives; from the bottom of my easily distracted heart, THANK YOU!!

My little brother is an adhd kid who loves to push boundaries. When I was one of his main caretakers there were times I said some MEAN things out of anger and it still makes me emotional. Raising kids can really bring out your ugly side. Meanwhile the kids themselves are so pure and wholesome ☹️ I know he probably doesn’t even think about it but I do feel so bad

THANK YOU for that “mistakes, not abuse” addendum. As someone with an abusive mother who catches flack from family and strangers alike for going no contact (or as low contact as I can), it is GREATLY appreciated. Mistakes are forgivable. Abuse isn’t necessarily.

No wonder he's a relatable protagonist.

Just one correction on ADHD/ADD. The issue is that there is not enough stimulation. The brain is STARVED for it. This is why hyper-focus is a thing and why stimulants help. They give the brain the stimulation that it lacks so that it doesn't have to work so hard searching for it. Hence the regulation of attention is aided by stimulatory aids, including not just medication, but also fidget spinners or low maintenance games on the phone. I didn't get diagnosed until I was in my adult years. I also have hyperactivity that is internal instead of external, so I wasn't as obvious to others with my issues. I also have autism as well which isn't uncommon for the two to be present.

The "shutting other things out" ADD rant just sat with me so much. I'm in a job where I work with people, and something I've learned over time is that I genuinely love working with people. I'd love to be a trainer someday (like my whole job title, not just part of my job, because it is 100% my favorite part of the job), but that doesn't stop me from experiencing overstimulation. Auditory things are especially difficult for me. We had a teambuilding exercise recently that involved doing a 3 hour activity in the evening. Now, I like my coworkers and the activity didn't bore me as a concept...but it was after a full work day. I had been what I refer to as "manually" sorting out all auditory input all day long in a relatively social environment, for ~8.5 hours. Then I went to another very auditory-heavy environment where I was expected to continue behaving in a neurotypical manner. There was a craft element involved, so I let myself hyper-focus on that and was quiet for a bit, which helped prevent the ramp-up from being worse than it was, but at some point the instructor asked us to do/help with something and I just stood there doe-eyed because I literally could not process what was being said. It wasn't until my boss said something along the lines of "oh I'll just do it" that I even put together context clues. I didn't get home until after the household had gone to sleep and then I stared at a wall for several hours while waiting for my brain to wind down enough to sleep. It took until 3am. The next day I rolled out of bed and went right back into work and promptly had a panic attack that was so bad I got sent home. Which is probably the first time ever my mental health has manifested in front of my coworkers beyond me making the occasional "I'm having a bad brain day, but I'll make it through" comment. (and then someone came in and was hanging our curtains at home and using a drill and I almost broke down in tears again and had to force myself to sleep until they left...thankfully I could sleep, since I was so sleep deprived. (I do want to emphasize that this is highly unusual even for my work, we do teambuilding like 2/year, it's generally a fun activity, and I really like my job. In general, I have really good coping mechanisms, but that much auditory input with no breaks is just no bueno for me no matter what coping mechanisms I have)

I feel like when a child gets diagnosed with ADHD, their parents should be prescribed therapy. Speaking as a 20-something who was first diagnosed over 2 decades ago, a lot of parents can really mess up their kids because they aren't equipped to handle a child with ADHD. My parents even in my teens were vocal about mental health advocacy but were blind to the double standard they had held me to my entire life. ADHD isn't just being hyper, and 'oooh shiny.' Its problems regulating emotions and problems with executive function. Especially if the kid isn't medicated and isn't taught coping mechanisms, it can seem like the child is willfully being difficult. I think most parents wouldn't consider themselves to be the type to harbor resentment towards their 7-year-old, especially not for years, but when you aren't prepared for the challenges that a child with ADHD will pose, you can get overwhelmed and the damage to your subconscious view of your child might not ever recover. And then if you treat the 7-year-old like they are a bad kid and like everything that bugs you about them they do on purpose, well then it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because kids are smarter than they're given credit for. They can pick up on the fact that their parents really don't like them sometimes. So they become bitter and resentful too; they're still "too much," "too loud," "too active," "too wild," "too passionate," "too rough," but now also they might feel angry and shameful and persecuted. Even if they can't articulate those feelings yet. And maybe they lash outward, and the parents get to add fun things like "argumentative" "short-tempered" or "angry" to their long list of shortcomings. Or maybe they channel it inward and develop deep self-loathing and insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. And to make it even worse, these same parents might not see it at all. They might think they succeeded in keeping their frustration bottled up, and truly believe they have no fault in the anger or self-loathing that these kids develop. They tried their best and love their kid and that means they couldn't have possibly messed them up.

i was SO scared for this video as a person with adhd, its so typically misunderstood. but then i heard y'all use the term "attention mismanagement" and i was sO relieved

I am not diagnosed with ADHD but I plan to get tested for it. Lol But anyway, I was JUST LIKE BUDDY as a kid, especially at the doctors, my parents would say that every time we watch the movie! 😂😂

I couldn't love this more! Having an ADHD kiddo can be super duper trying & frustrating but it's also deeply moving, joyful and inspiring. I'm in constant awe of my son - he is sunshine personified ❤

“Ladies” “No-no I have a ring” “Gentlemen” I died laughing X’D

I love how the therapist says its seen as a bad thing but its not, its just another way of being. SO TRUE.

My cousin has ASHD and is now the head chef at a five star restaurant in Las Vegas. The ability to take in massive amounts of information in short amounts of time greatly helps him in that field!

As an adult who wasn't diagnosed until last year (aged 22) with combined type ADHD and emotional lability, I honestly cannot express how difficult it was for me to convey what was going on in my head and trying to tell people it's not my anxiety, it's not my depression, something else is going on with me and I need help. Acceptance and understanding would have gone a long way for me. I'm only now understanding why my brain works the way it does, but it's had a huge effect on my relationships and employment. But what I feel was the biggest problem for me getting diagnosed was the fact doctors weren't willing to investigate further. The blame was placed on my anxiety and/or depression and that was it. So hearing you guys explaining what it's been like for you, and the misconceptions surrounding ADD/ADHD made me feel...normal. Like there's not something wrong with me, I'm just wired differently. Thank you so much.

"I can connect them this way!" "You can't" Reminds me of that meme that goes "I have connected the dots" "You connected nothing" "I connected them"

me with ADHD never knowing my favorite Christmas character had ADHD ?):?:?? NOW I KNOW WHY I RELATED SO MUCH !!!

Had this in my "watch later" list FOREVER; wish I would have watched earlier! I should watch this EVERY DAY to remind me how great my ADHD son is! He is 100% Buddy!

Ive always grown up relating heavily to Buddy, especially with my fixation on christmas that i inherited from my very festive mother. Imagine my surprise when i, now 23, am working on getting an ADHD diagnosis!

Not enough credit is given to the actors who work with Will Ferrell! James Conn did a stellar job staying straight.

Elf childhoods are longer than humans’s because they live longer. That’s why Buddy is still childish

This brought tears to my eyes as your words were an encouragement to me after raising our oldest daughter who is now 28 years old and married, but we struggled so much to support her and encoourge her, but thinking we failed in so many ways. Thank you for your words.

My child has been diagnosed with ODD and is currently being evaluated for ADHD. I am newly diagnosed with ADHD so it’s been quite a journey! This video really opened my eyes to my child. In the beginning I saw it as a hinderance to her growth. Now I understand it’s a “different way of being” and there’s nothing wrong.

Jonathan: "But now I have chest hair!" Alan: "Ladies!!" Jonathan: (points at wedding ring) "Don't say that, I don't want them clamoring..." Alan: "Gentlemen!!" 😂😂😂

God bless the person who captioned Peter Dinklage's character as "Tyrion Lannister."

I love that at the end of this movie, we don’t see Buddy change who he is. Sure, maybe he’s working on being a bit more self-aware, but he still has the ADHD tendencies and childhood innocence that makes Buddy himself. Even better, we see the skills he has put to use (such as him being the only one capable of fixing the sleigh), and the characters who wronged him (like his dad) apologize for treating him badly, and actually accept him for who he is, shiny-object-tunnel-vision and all. Having watched this as a kid, I can’t even begin to say how impactful this was for me, to watch someone like me not have to change to be valued and accepted as a member of society. Overall, great movie, awesome messaging! So glad you guys reacted to it.

I have ADHD and Autism, honestly, I am so happy to hear you guys talk about this.

From Alan's ADD Rant: "When someone has ADD like I do -- clinical, very strong ADD -- you can't shut other things out. Most people can just, like, focus on a thing, right? And just kinda like, 'Oh, there's noise, I can just kind of block that out.' And that part of the brain -- there's a chemical imbalance and it doesn't function properly, so everything gets in." Jon a minute or so later: "A lot of times, people see it as a -- I mean, it's got 'disorder' in the name, so it's pathologized and it's seen as a negative, but the fact is it's simply another way of being. It's another way of functioning. It's another way of thinking. And studies have shown that people who are diagnosed ADD actually excel in certain fields way better than a lot of other people, including filmmaker and therapist." Alan: "Yeah, creative disciplines, it's very helpful because you make a lot of creative connections that other people wouldn't make because your brain is constantly, like, ping-ponging off of all kinds of stuff and you go 'This and this, I can connect them this way!' and a normal human goes 'You can't, but you did. Interesting. You must be creative.' And it's like, 'No, I have a chemical imbalance." :3 I quoted those whole entire bits of the video in this comment because I found them super-duper relatable, and I don't even have an ADD diagnosis. I do, however, have an Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis. So, in my case, being unable to block out random sensory input is because of the sensory processing issues that come with ASD rather than having difficulty focusing on on a thing, and the creative connections thing is more because I tend to look at the world in different ways than neurotypical people do, not necessarily because my brain is ping-ponging off of all kinds of stuff. I can relate to noticing random details that most people overlook and to making creative connections that nobody around me thought of because the end results are kind of similar even though they happen for different reasons.

"No, I just have a chemical imbalance." I need a GIF of this. For reasons. Thank you Alan!

I just realized you guy's only have 1 million subscribers. Not that that isn't impressive, it definitely it, but there's so much effort put into these videos. You guys have a whole team. What I'm saying is that you guys are SERIOUSLY underrated. Your videos deserve so much more recognition.

I appreciate the last message of letting ADHD kids shine in their enthusiasm. I have an interesting Family dynamic with my parents where I become a black sheep sometimes because of my ADHD. More so with my mom who constantly tries to suppress my noisy hyperactive excitement for things. It might be a little bit culture related as her culture values quiet obedient children and being ADHD is basically the opposite. I never really intentionally try to cause trouble either so it still kinda impacts my confidence sometimes to this day.

I never even thought about Buddy having ADHD its so obvious now haha ADHD GANG

My parents used to tell me that if a shook a coffee creamer long enough i could turn it into butter. This kept me sitting and occupied at every restorant outing ever til i was 12

I usually am hero-worshipping Jon in these videos, but this time...THANK YOU ALAN. Tho Jonno chimes in great comments as well. I'm not attention deficient, I'm FOCOS deficient! I'm overly attentive, TOO attentive! You two are both speaking my language. Bless you.

Thank you so much for making this video. I can barely watch Elf because it's so triggering for me. And now I know why. I remember being like that as a kid and trying to interact with the outside world and if was very traumatic. I'm in therapy now as an adult. Thank you so much for making this.

“The girls didn’t love me but their parents all wanted them to date me” MOOOOOD

We need a breakdown and understanding of Thor in Avengers Endgame. Watching a mountain of a man pile himself in doubt and grief broke me.

AuDHD here and I identify with Buddy so much! He really is a neurodivergent icon ❤️🙌🏻

as my mom can attest, raising a kid with ADHD (well and ASD) is a pain, stressful, scary as all hell, and somehow still completely worth it

When they said "kids are so forgiving" I cried because adult expect them(me) to keep forgiving after they say 'sorry i love you' and if we don't we're bad and should be shame of ourself

This channel is providing some of the most wholesome content on KZfaq, and genuinely great advice on how to live better lives too. Thank you, I just wish I'd found you near the start of quarantine, but better late than never 😁 Also would love to see you guys talk about 'Jojo Rabbit' or 'Fleabag'

Almost all of my favorite people have ADHD, and I myself am Autistic. Thank you for talking about neurodivergence, and especially in a way that is affirming and doesn't see it as a disorder. I'd love to hear you guys talk about ASD (particularly what was formerly known as Aspergers) in one of your episodes ... there are so many characters that I think are Autistic (at least in my head-cannon).

The way my parents delt with my ADHD was, they kicked me out of school and put me into a boot camp. Oh so loving, I've turned out so great. I'm depressed and have constant stress, anger, and anxiety... I hate everything, if not for my few best friends I'd be dead.

the biggest plot hole of this movie just occurred to me. Couldn't they just put the baby back?

My dad and I both have ADD/ADHD. Something that we often say is “I know this seems off-topic, but, trust me, in my head it totally connects.” How we go from talking about narwhals to cheese in a split-second is beyond most people, but it makes perfect sense to us.

My husband has a strong dislike of Christmas (too many years of family drama) but Elf is the one Christmas movie he gets excited about. I think he relates to Buddy, having ADHD himself that has caused him social problems and given him a helpful perspective in life.

Growing up my parents were honestly awesome with handling my ADHD, my dad worked hard with my educators to help me get through and succeed. They worked hard to find what worked for me. At the beginning, most adults involved didn’t think I would make it to collage. But now I’m in university getting a degree. Embrace it and be yourself even when the world isn’t quite ready for your style yet.

When I was a little little kid, I was diagnosed with ADD but because at the time, my family treated mental illnesses as if it inherently meant something was wrong with you, it was super suppressed, I took myself off of the medication (as like a first grader), and we convinced ourselves that it was a misdiagnosis. They’d say “how could she have ADD? She’s way too smart! You’re just not stimulating her enough!” and I went on with my life, even knowing that something still always felt a bit off for me. Flash forward years and years later, I’m now nearly 23 and just graduated undergrad in the spring. I am someone who has been officially diagnosed with anxiety and depression (with an emphasized problem with severe perfectionism), and I found myself finding and relating to ADD and ADHD memes to such a degree that I had to question again, was it really a misdiagnosis? When I FINALLY got diagnosed officially with depression and anxiety in my SENIOR year of undergrad, I was able to fully recontextualize why so many things happened the way that they did and felt the way that they did as me and my therapist went back through *years* of experiences. (Though I will say that I was already quite convinced I had that diagnosis for maybe 3 years at that point, I was still too afraid to go to a therapist and im very glad that I finally did). But it still felt like a puzzle piece was still missing. As I was questioning it quietly and in private (because though my family is now better with acknowledging that mental health is a thing that we need to pay attention to, they still often don’t like to point things out even though I am someone who feels the need to give things names so I know how to treat them and handle them better in my own life.) I ran into this video and it all finally felt like it clicked. Why I struggle to hear what people are saying in a loud environment unless they’re looking right at me because I can’t filter out background noise. Why I can’t read something if someone is talking to me or if there’s words in my music and I’ll forget everything I just read thanks to a stray thought. Why I can get excited about something so drastically and so suddenly that it startles people and sometimes even puts them off. Why I can plan and plan and plan and make so many lists and schedules to set new routines and still struggle to keep anything clean and consistent, as if it is always a conscious effort to do so no matter how hard I try. Why when I was sat down in high school and asked what I wanted to do with my life while i was being pushed so heavily towards science and mathematics because I was good at it despite having more passion and effort poured into art, music, and creativity - I honest to god felt like it was a matter of life and death. I felt like if I couldn’t do something that I was passionate about, that if I was forced into a profession for something that couldn’t hold my interests, I would rather die. I knew that, but I didn’t know WHY. And because of the privilege I have and having so many people tell me they just couldn’t understand WHY I was so afraid and adamant about that issue, I shut it in and didn’t tell anyone about it for along time before fully BREAKING DOWN and realizing I HAD TO DO SOMETHING WITHIN PASSIONS yet still ended up being forced into a COMPROMISE. And the only reason why I made it to where I am now is because I fought, I had multiple majors and minors, I filled every second of my time with work to the point of sleep deprivation, I pulled myself into the path I wanted while being dragged by the compromises I was forced to carry. And people still didn’t understand why I was so desperate to reach the creative outlet I was reaching for if it meant I had to carry so much. Now I’m here. A grad in game design, spending every waking moment working with art and creativity, topping grades in my classes and pouring my heart and soul into everything without that feeling of burden. I’ve never felt happier or more passionate with what I do. And I finally understand WHY that fight was so desperate for me, why I struggled to focus and hold interest when so many people told me to get over it. It wasn’t a misdiagnosis, it was a seed of passion begging to drive me forward despite being shoved down as something wrong by me and everyone around me. But now, even if it makes me a bit of a hyper goof, it’s an advantage, there’s nothing wrong with me, and I am so excited to go forward acknowledging this part of me that I’ve denied for so many years. I may not be able to get an official rediagnosis for it because of the times that we’re in but... I have ADD. I am a hyper being of passion with a bizarre but honest chemical imbalance soup of a brain. I am excited for my creative future driven by passion. I am me, and I am happy. Thank you for helping me admit that ❤️ Edit Nov. 2022 : every once in a while, I come back and read this message to see how far I’ve come with understanding how my mind and body works and working with it instead of against it. And I just wanted to add that I read every reply every time and I am so immensely happy that sharing my story has resonated with and helped others :) for that reason alone, this is my favorite post that I’ve ever made. Also I am officially diagnosed now (technically again haha) ^-^ and while the struggles are still very real, I just want to say, especially to those still trying to figure themselves out, that it does get better ❤️ may everyone’s stories here continue to help others for so long as they remain.

As an ADHD adult having been an ADHD kid... this made me feel so bad for my mom. And THANK you for mentioning that it's a neurological chemical imbalance and not "too much sugar" or "bad parenting". And it's even harder for a young girl to get a proper diagnosis because we do exhibit the symptoms differently (in general...)

When John talked about how to repair it got me tight in the heart. I’m not a parent but as an early childhood educator I spend a lot of time with my students. Occasionally I will ask them if we both need a break or ask tell them I need a small break. I make sure the kids know I care about them but need personal space and a moment alone. My parents never approached their breaks in a positive way. It was always “go outside” or “go to your room” and just sent me away with no explanation. I don’t want my students to feel confused, hurt or rejected so I make an effort to show them respect. I’m human though an occasionally I’m short with them, knowing that I can apologize and repair that connection is essential.

I'm currently going through the process of trying to get diagnosed with ADHD and this video made me cry lol. A lot of the stuff you guys were saying (especially about the making connections *everywhere*) is stuff I've recognized in myself