My 14 year old sister passed away in October, her funeral was two days before Midnights dropped. I found this song so comforting and so poignant to the loss of not just pregnancy, but also the experience of losing a young life.

This song is about grief and loss of someone who went too soon. It can be interpreted to many types of loss, not just miscarriage, but everyone can interpret it however feels closest to them.

The song is about loss. It’s incredible how it can be interpreted in so many different ways. Just show you how good of a songwriter she is

I also think "it's all out to sea" could be referring to an early miscarriage that many women have in their own bathrooms at home. Such a heartbreaking goodbye. 💔

This heartbreakingly beautiful song is a kind of double-whammy for me. 16 years ago I lost a 6 month old daughter to a congenital heart defect. My immediate thoughts upon listening to this were of her, even though she did live for 6 months. Lauren was a triplet. Her brother and sister are heart-healthy, thank goodness. 18 months after losing Lauren I had a miscarriage. It was an unexpected pregnancy, as we didn't think I could become pregnant without fertility treatments. I thought this baby was a gift to help us mend our still-broken hearts. So when I miscarried it was absolutely devastating. It's so many years on, and I still occasionally cry for my babies.

The "salt" streaming out her eyes and into her ears made me think of like the exact moment you find out. Like the imagery of a woman laying on the doctor's table and the doctor is using an ultrasound machine or trying to find the heart beat and the longer it takes the more the anxiety rises and then the doctor finally breaking the news and all that built up anxiety just releasing into tears streaming out. And it kind of feels like I'm there. I'm the woman lying on the bed with the tears streaming out her eyes as she's hearing the news. I've got a lot of health issues which highly increases my possibility of not having a baby at all/having a miscarriage and I've had to live with that truth for a while now. I'm only 16 so kids are way in my future but it still kills me to think about it sometimes

One thing I wish more people understood is that we never "get over" loss, we just learn over time to live with it. Loss doesn't diminish, we just grow around it and that happens at different rates for different people. It's also not a complete process either, some days we're fine and others we're wrecked. I've always loved the line from WandaVision: "What is grief, if not love persevering".

"You're trying to make sense of something that just doesn't make sense at all" - pretty much summed it up right there.

more people should hear this. there's not a set portion of days for people to grief.

No song has ever knocked the wind out of me like this one. I’ve had multiple miscarriages, and this song perfectly captured my experiences. There’s nothing like the self blaming and second guessing you go through while trying to make sense of why it happened to you. Also, the beginning of the choruses sounded like “rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye” the first time I heard it. I know now she’s saying goodbye, but I still make that connection with a lullaby.

I’m a man of a certain age. My ex and I endured a miscarriage four years ago. I remain childless and have had a vasectomy. This hits hard for partners too.

To me, this song represents the grief I felt after the loss of my husband of 20 years. He was "bigger than the whole sky" to me. Everything we planned for our future "has turned to ashes" "Its all over its not meant to be". The memories feel like they need to turn to ashes too because they are so painful to recall. For a year I cried almost everyday those salt streams that filled my ears and nose. Everything felt so so sad "everything I touched was sick with sadness". There is so much that I will have to live without. I will never get to grow old with him like we dreamed about and meet "what could've been, would've been, what should've been" the future him. The question "did some force take you cause I didnt pray?" reminds me of all the why questions that went through my mind and the realization that I did pray and none of those prayers did anything to help...so what now God. What do I do with that? I stopped praying , but then remembered God is not a vending machine. "good bye good bye good bye" to me is having to say good bye over and over not just once. Its goodbye everytime I am reminded of him. "you were more than just a short time" to me means that even though we were just married 20 years we shared so much together.

Yes !! Taylor's close friend Claire Winter Kislinger suffered a miscarriage early this year. So most likely....that tragic incident inspired Taylor to write this sad but very beautiful song. This song made me CRY the first time I heard it. my Fave from the 3 AM edition of Midnights album.

Even animals grieve miscarriages. My dog had a stillborn puppy bc it was too big. She grieved the loss of that puppy for a year. She carried & cared for a ball, she took it everywhere with her & would even sleep with it. She was protective of it & in her mind, that was her puppy. 😢 and that is a DOG.

I lost my daughter when she was 21 yo. I found I had a period of mourning her death, and truthfully I have never been the same person since she died.18 years later I still grieve her passing pretty much every day. While the grief is softer by the nature of time passing, it still hurts. My period of mourning lasted months and then I went back to work and to a "new normal". Whatever that means! It's hard because while I was back to doing things people thought I was ok. What they didn't know is that my great sadness followed me and showed up anywhere at any time, and people don't understand. Didn't matter where I was I would just burst out in tears. What I'm trying to say is that grief has no time lime and it has no boundaries. Take your time. "you have lots to pine about" but I promise you will be ok, and you will never forget the star in the sky. I hope this makes sense? I wish you all well...

It's a topic that SO needs to be discussed and supported much more. So many people don't understand what it's like to be wearing maternity clothes and crib shopping one day, and cancelling your baby shower the next. This song says so much.

It's incredible how a song could be about so many things. For my, it's about one of my grandpa's, he died when a was around 4, but I still have a million memories, and for me he was so much more than just those few years. He's been with me since then, I know it, and he's not just with me now, he's everywhere, all the time, he's love is bigger than the whole sky. That's the magic of music.❤️

It's been 10 years since my miscarriage. It hurt SO MUCH that my partner and I basically stopped trying. 8 years later we did get our rainbow baby who is AMAZING, but I still think about that loss everyday. That baby that should have been her sibling. This song hits so so hard. I don't think there is an 'over it'.

I lost 2 pregnancies. I listen to this song everyday and sob. The emotional pain never really goes away even after years. I can't talk about it with anyone. This song means so much to me.

When I started hearing this song I initially thought it was about grief over a relationship that ended but as soon as she said "you were more than just a short time", my mind immediately went to "you were my best 4 years" from Ronan and at that moment I was almost certain that it was about the death of someone very young. Even though I don't have first hand experience with something like this, this song definitely made me cry the hardest and is definitely going on my skip list because it is just too painful to hear. I saw some tweets about how this song echoed the feeling of people who had had miscarriages or lost children or siblings at a very young age and how they felt almost comforted about it, seeing how they felt being put into words so accurately for probably the first time and I'm so glad they found a source of comfort and a way to express their grief through this song.

I haven't experienced this kind of loss but when you were talking about the way people judge how and how long people grieve based on the perceived intensity of that loss really resonated with me. When I lost my brother I found that people didn't value the loss of a sibling the same way they did the loss of a child. This was someone who had been with me since the first day of my life and I ran into a lot of people who seemed to think I should have been over it.

I’m surprised no one has picked up on her “washed out to sea” line - rhymes with D&C. If you have been through a miscarriage that alone is more than traumatising.

I certainly thought of miscarriage first when I heard it. But I wonder if for her it might have been about the friend she wrote "Forever Winter" about. Certainly, it seems to fit well with grieving the loss of any young loved one. I suppose it could also work for the death of a friendship or something rather than a literal death, too. In any case, I think it's good that it's left very open to interpretation, because I'm sure lots of people will relate to the idea in some way and be able to use the song to mourn or process their grief.

I feel like this could apply to abortion as well :( It’s absolutely devastating when you want a child and circumstances don’t allow for it, whether it be age, financial issues, or the things you talk about here like miscarriage, stillborn, etc 💔😔

More than just a short time gets me. Every time. No matter when or how-the grief is real. And we should be allowed to embrace it. I heard "it never existed" more times than I can count.

I lost a baby 13 years ago. I have other children but can tell you that it’s a sense of pain that never completely leaves you. My 94 year old aunt died this past year after being on hospice. One of my last conversations I had with her I asked her to please take care of my baby for me until I get to where they are. The first time I heard this song it brought back that loss like it was happening today and not over a decade ago. I can’t listen to this song without breaking down. But she did such a fantastic job putting this pain into words.

I spent two weeks in the ICU with COVID last December and the night I came home from the hospital, my dad died. Suddenly, at home- and there was nothing my mom and I could do. This song.. was the first time in almost a year I felt seen in my grief. I sat curled up on my floor sobbing for an hour at this song and it felt like a tiny part of me healed. Because for the first time- what I'd been feeling had been put into words.

I always thought this song and Would've Could've Should've we're connected and Taylor was grieving her innocence and would never get to know who she could've been had she never dated John. Her music may have been different, her dating history could've been different, All Too Well may not have existed. Her opinion about herself could be drastically different. But maybe I'm wrong. I guess Taylor will tell us in her own time.

Our son was stillborn 7 years ago,,we then had two miscarriages I can’t listen to this song without crying.

I think this song can be interpreted in many different ways, but I am convinced it’s about pregnancy loss. It hits every single emotion that a person who has lost a pregnancy experiences. The day I knew my pregnancy wouldn’t continue, I posted “I will always miss what you might have been”, which is so close to I'm never gonna meet What could've been, would've been What should've been you” You wonder if you did something wrong. You wonder if you could have changed something. All I will say is that we should talk about this more - it was only when talking about it myself that i realised how common it is, and how many people are carrying this grief around in secret so that other people don’t feel uncomfortable?

I think this song reflects back on her previous song Ronan. A 4 year old boy that died from cancer.. so sad. I can't listen to this one (or Ronan) without bawling.

It's interesting to me that the male reactions that I've viewed totally miss the subject of this song and think it's a breakup song. That is frustrating to me. But thank you for delving into the real pain of it with such compassion.

I really love how Taylor writes her songs in a way where it can hold different interpretations while wrapping itself around one theme. It definitely is about loss, whether it's the loss of a pregnancy (my heart goes out to each of you

I’m so inspired by your empathy.

I have not dealt with this but I do have my own interpretation of this song, I lost my best friend to cancer when she was only 19 so I see it as I'll never get to see the person she could have, would have, and should have become because she was lost at such a young age

Thankyou for this. I lost my baby boy 2 years ago today. And I have been grieving and feeling guilty for this. Sending love and light to all the mums and dads out there ❤️

I’ve had 8 miscarriages and as soon as I heard it, that’s what I assumed it was about. It’s a perfect distillation for the grief of losing what could have been.

My son was stillborn in 2019. This song really made me feel everything all over again but it made me feel seen. I do love this song so much. ❤️

last year, I finally found the strength to have a funeral for my twin brother. I'm 20 years old now and he died before we even got born. So I can feel all that pain in the song. It is so heavy and it hurts because there just is no explanation for it. You search for the Why but you can never find it. So you just have to say Goodbye but you don't understand it at all.

Listening to the line in the song ‘starlight’ about having ten kids and teaching them how to dream, and then listening to this song is just heartbreaking

I didn't know I had so many tears stored away. I never had the chance to mourn my baby, because she was a twin and my son was still alive and I never felt that happy glow ever again but went through with my boy who was born. He is autistic so all of my focus went to his needs and therapy and now he's 23. But the truth is, when I dream of babies, my babies, I'm always holding the hand of both my son and my little girl. She is always in my dreams. I put it back so so far. This song lets me mourn for her, finally.

I had the same reaction. I thought it was about a relationship on first listening. But on 2nd listen and beyond, I can't hear anything but loss and grief of a young life, predominantly miscarriage, infertility and associated loss. It's such a long tragic journey for so many women (& men too, though in a different way) and the struggles need to come out of the shadows. The trauma is real and harsh. I value Taylor so much and appreciate that she writes for so many different emotional journeys.

I love this song. It's heartbreaking but the melody is soothing and beautiful at the same time

I lost my dog of 11 years this summer and this song makes me cry so hard, it really puts those feelings into words for me💔

33 years later I still grieve and hurt from the loss of my 2-month old baby. And now my sweet daughter is going through the same thing, and I know there is nothing I can say that can ease her pain. The pain simply never goes away. 😢

Oh my goodness I’ve listened to this song countless times and I’ve never really paused to take it in. I knew right away this was about pregnancy loss - there is nothing else it can be. I’ve lost 6 out of 9 pregnancies at different stages which is why I chose to have my tubes tied as I couldn’t take any more loss. This video has had me in tears I haven’t cried in many years.

i am so grateful that this song has touched so many people, specifically those who have had to grief the loss of a family member or experience a miscarriage, but when I first heard this song it instantly made me think of grieving the person you thought you were going to be or should be. I struggle a lot with depression and anxiety and this last year has been the worst I’ve ever had; I feel like I have had things taken from me in ways I never even imagined and I can’t help but find no one else to blame but myself and my own illness. Looking back and remembering the future I had wished for myself as a girl and recalling the hopes I had for myself as a child; only to realize that those things have not only not come true, but are now realistically impossible are so devastating. I couldn’t stop crying through this song and it still brings up those past dreams and crushed realities, recognizing where I’m at and the future of struggle that I never anticipated. This song is beautifully written and it’s so lovely to have a catharsis, even if it’s frankly painful and devastating to face.

Infant loss at any stage is so incredibly heartbreaking , no parent should ever have to go thru the pain of loosing there baby ( or loss at any age ) … my sister lost her baby at 3 months ( SIDS) and I watched this incredibly beautiful… strong person break into a million pieces and become a shell of herself …he took a piece of her her with him when he passed .. it’s been 3 years since he passed but still feels like it was yesterday and she has moments of intense grief and we have asked why everyday .. is a new level of pain .. that goes to your soul .. 😞😞 my heart goes out to everyone who has experienced this pain … there is no time limit on grief and it will sneak up and hit you at random times ❤

Your empathy is so inspiring ❤

I took the “bird over Asia” to mean the stork dropped the baby on the way to delivery.

There are three songs in Taylor’s catalogue that I cannot listen to. Ronan. Soon you’ll get better. And now this. I still cried myself to this entire reaction because seeing someone talk with such empathy and heart is pretty much the most beautiful thing in life. Might I suggest you react to Champagne Problems?

She used variations of the phrase "could've been, would've been, what should've been you" multiple times in Bigger Than the Whole Sky. She also has a song called Would've, Could've, Should've...It's not my place to speculate if this song is something she personally experienced, but if it is related to that song, then it gives both songs an even sadder meaning.

This is such an important topic and I’m so grateful to you for talking about this. I lost my mom when I was 21 very unexpectedly and the isolation and sadness came in tidal waves. Since it’s not talked about it makes it so easy for people to ignore or isolate people suffering from loss. In a lot of cases it’s not even intentional it’s just accepted. Grief has no timeline and there is no magic pill or saying to make it go away.

I relate to bigger than the whole sky due to me losing my child at 26 weeks pregnant and still had to give birth and had to have a funeral this song makes me cry all the time.

I'm a massive TS fan, I'm 42 now, in my 2nd marriage, miscarriage, I've failure an now entering peri menopausal years, I find it so absolutely devastating that I'll never ever be a mother, childlessness is so taboo and I just can barely breathe someday 💔 how do I live like this, a mother with empty arms xxx

I lost my friend and it's extra painful because our spark and friendship kinda fizzled out right before he passed, it's so painful I miss him forever, RIP CJC, I love you forever and always my sweet angel.

I thank you so much for your point of view! Personally, I have seen this song used as a healing point in divorce and loss of a long time relationship, I appreciate both and all these point of views so much! For myself, I use this song as a way to cope with the passing of my mother. We did not have the best relationship, but I cannot help the immense loss and guilt I still feel with her passing everyday 🖤

My grandma's first child was stillborn and the doctor (!) told her "well, you're still young, you can still have many children." It happened back in the 50s but still it baffles me that a medical professional could say that to a young woman who has just lost her baby. She did end up having four healthy children, yes, but that does not take away from the fact, that her first child died.

Listening to this song makes me cry. I think about my mother I lost from cancer at 17 and my grandma I lost this year. I think of what could've would've been as the grandma they could've and would've been for my daughter. The loss is still there and when she says goodbye it's like telling them goodbye and it hurts..

I think one of the most amazing things about her music is that it touches so many people and can be interpreted in so many different ways. I didn’t think of miscarriage/infertility until I saw someone else post about it, now it sounds obvious. I interpreted it as saying goodbye to your younger, possibly “innocent” self after a major traumatic event. My dad died when I was 3 and my mom died when I was 9. It reminds me of my feelings after she passed ❤

When I was 12, my mom had a stillborn baby. I'll never forget the pain and agony my family went through, yet no one else understood, especially not any of my classmates at the time, since there was no visible or tangible loss. I still sometimes wonder what my sister would be like, 12 years later. Also no one understands how seeing other families birth and raise children while you're suffering this loss impacts you. I feel so seen by this song, and I feel like I can honor and remember my sister with it. Thank you for mentioning about the grief period for this too. Too many people just expect you to get over it and move on because you never met the baby, but it's still a loss you can never replace. It still hurts to think about. Thank you for this video, it helped me so much.

I lost a baby 12 y ago… grief about all projections that i had make… cry every time I listen to this. Love ur Chanel!!! Love from Brazil 🇧🇷

Thank you for doing this song, and speaking about this issue that we definitely do not talk about enough!

I just want to say: thank you

You are exactly the type of person who needs to be a therapist. I’m so glad your clients have you!

Accidentally found you first on the Great war video and i really love the way you tell it so deatail as a psychiatrist, the way your emotional explain the feeling too. You made me more understand about the song as a non-native English. Even though i haven't experience anything about her songs as a 16 yo but i can feel my tears for your explanation. I lost my mom like one year ago and i know this songs about missing someone but never thought the means it's that deep. And I've also felt hopeless like, I want to disappear from this world because I no longer have a purpose in life. Sorry for ny bad English and thankyouu for this all. You are also an intermediary for my love for taylor. I hope next time you make a reaction to Taylor's sad songs like safe and sound and others! ❤️ I love youu so much

my cousin passed away at only 17, a couple months before covid. i think about her a lot whenever i hear this song and cry. she was only 17, in and out of the hospital since she was born. she always had a smile on her face even though she was hurting every day. she deserved so much more. life isn’t fair. she was never able to grow up and experience the world, it’s so rare to be born into this world. but God knows what he does. we miss u so much mary.

As someone who lost twins, sometimes I still want to buy baby clothes. Its like you can't help it. Just because our babies died doesn't mean we aren't parents. Our babies are still OURS.

I love how deeply you feel. ❤️

My would have been due date is today. I really needed to hear this. Thank you so much for sharing.

What a beautiful and painful reflection on the song. I hadn't seen it from that point of view, and now the phrase "Did some force take you because I didn't pray?" hit different. I recommend you do a reaction to the song Sugartooth by Brandi Carlile. It's about addiction.

My mum had 2 miscarriages before I was born, my dad has always been emotionally abusive and after the second miscarriage, he became enraged at her and blamed her for not being able to produce a healthy baby. Thinking about how difficult it must have been for her already and then adding being blamed by someone who is supposed to be caring and supportive always breaks my heart.

I lost one of my best friends of 7 years to suicide a few months ago and when I heard this song I thought about him. I remember talking to him the day he died and how I didn’t realise that he was suffering. I later found out that he mentioned me in his note but I didn’t, and still don’t, have the strength to find out what he said. This song makes me think of all the things we will miss out on and how I wish for just 5 more minutes with him. Taylor really knows how to describe the feelings that grief brings 💔

Thank you ❤I love your accompany

In my opinion there is no question that this song is about some form of a significant loss. When I first heard this song , especially the first few verses of this song, all I could think about was when I lost my mother( I was 22) and me laying in the dark crying. The tears would just come and just keep coming. I rememberer their heat and saltiness and the wetness as they one by one they seemed to find their way into my ears as I laid thinking and trying to process knowing Id never get to talk, hug, or hear my mother ever again and how hard it was for me to wrap my head around that, The sadness was unexplainable and so intense that my heart physically hurt from it. All I could think was that Id never get to know or experience the woman she would be and who she would become years down the line, that I would never get to have her with me to share the big moments in my life and know who I would be come years down the line either and how hard it was to come to terms with goodbye to someone who was such a big and important part of my life. I felt robbed. I think this song speaks to so many on so many levels so strongly the way it does because we have all in one way or another have experienced some sort of significant loss no matter the situation. Its a universal sadness most everyone knows. When we lose someone we love (no matter the age) it always seems like that person and that relationship was short lived and snuffed out and we are robbed of not only who that person was to us personally but also who that person also could have been and who that person would have become in the various parts of what would have been their life and for us the the chance to experience it along side them. Then I thought about Taylor’s song “get better soon” and how she may have felt after her mothers cancer diagnosis who is a hugely important and cherished person in her life especially when her experience with Ronan who she also lost to Cancer. I could only imagine the acute sadness, fear and grief she must have felt in that moment and the shock to be faced with the possibility she could potentially lose her mom. The fear and helplessness she must have felt and how she probably cried herself to sleep that night and several nights forward with having to acknowledge that possibility especially given her previous experience and feelings with already losing someone she loved to cancer so young would be heart breaking. Grief and loss spares no one.

In my head, this song is the predecessor to Labyrinth. I think there's a lot of connective tissue there, and I think the heartbreak at the start of Labyrinth is nebulous enough to be anything. But that "You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back /Just like that" line makes me think it's more connected.

Weird that is song came out 25 years after lost my first baby and 10 years after I lost my other. Just mind blowing to me💔

You are right, this is a type of grief that is not often talked about and actually the first song I've ever heard about it was More by Halsey and it completely wrecked me even though I've never gone through this myself. It would be nice to also do a react video on Halsey's song

Always remember that your tears are very beautiful and extremely precious. I wish I could give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on and wipe away your tears from your face as they trickle down your cheeks.

It didn’t even occur to me that this was about infertility/miscarriage. I lost my partner to suicide just over 9 years ago (he was military.. multiple tours, Iraq. He couldn’t find a way to heal from the things he saw when he was over there) and this is one of 4 songs on this record that really spoke to my heart. I lost a baby, many years ago… and I am in NO WAY diminishing that pain. It’s horrible and heartbreaking and hard to describe. But… at least for me, losing my partner has been much more difficult to heal from. I’m gonna keep my own interpretation of these lyrics cause regardless of what it’s actually about, I believe that art (like trauma) is subjective and its rare that I’m able to find the level of catharsis that I found in this song. I think everyone that felt it in their own way for their own reasons should still be able to have that, without guilt. Even if Taylor said it was about a miscarriage. I’d imagine that she left the lyrics open to interpretation for a reason, ya know?

Thank you so much for talking about this. So few people do. I've lost a lot of friends and family because of the loss of my son at 6 days old. He died very suddenly (and we now know it was a genetic condition that both his twin brother and I share - we're quite sick unfortunately). My husband's mother was there as he was dying and even then she was telling me to stop crying so I wouldn't scare the other NICU babies...as they were doing CPR. Our relationship has never been good after that. My sister in law was extremely annoyed that he died because the funeral was the same day as her daughter's birthday party and they were furious we didn't postpone his funeral for them. Other family was asking if they could go to the party or if they'd have to go to the funeral. Probably needless to say these people aren't in my life anymore. Even that early into the grief people were annoyed by our grief and his death. They pretend now he never existed which is very hard for our whole family. Especially his twin brother who misses him desperately. People can be so cruel and they often don't even want to understand grief despite the fact that we'll all go through it at some point.

Hi Mere Big fan of yours. Thank you for all the great insights into Taylor’s

Im dealing with both infertility and recurrent miscarriages. Thank you for saying people are allowed to want siblings for their children. I have a daughter and she’s my whole life but apparently because I have her I’m not allowed to be sad for the ones I lost or for struggling to get to a second child 😢

This makes me think of my dad.. I lost him and my nan to covid just over a year before my wedding, he was helping us plan it and then he didn't get to be there or walk me down the aisle etc, my grandad walked me down the aisle which was lovely but 'what could have been, would have been, should have been you' hits me hard because it should have been him, he was so excited and proud!! and it breaks my heart knowing how happy he would have been and how incredible it would have been to have him there in person and not just in spirit on that special day and every other day.. I miss him all the time and wonder how different things would be in my life if we still had him here.. It breaks me.. People say they don't know how I managed (lots of other things were going on at the same time) but I didn't have a choice and I didn't feel strong, I still don't.. The goodbye goodbye goodbye part makes me flashback to his funeral when the curtains closed and that utter sinking feeling when I said it.. And that weird feeling of the tears feeling like they'd never start or stop.. I also used to say my dads heart was bigger than the whole sky..

I like the perspective you presented of the song being about feelings after a miscarriage. I don't really agree that the song is necessarily about that ONLY, though. The loss of a loved one for any reason -- whether it be a breakup or a death or a fight -- is so painful that it could feel like the loss of something bigger than the whole sky. I even think it's possible for the song to be applicable to the loss of oneself as one had known themself. What could've been, would've been, should've been could refer to the loss of the experiences one could have had with the one lost -- lost vacations with a former romantic partner, for example. I still really empathized with your reaction, though. Looking forward to your other reactions.

Thank you for this. I suffered from infertility for quite a long time. After several surgeries and trying I was able to have one child, my husband and I were trying for another but it was hard. Lots of drugs, struggles and it was straining our marriage. The only thing people would tell me was "at least you have one" I would feel guilty and horrible that I wanted another and it was my fault that my body was failing, my fault I was putting my body through torture and my fault I wasn't satisfied. This song makes me cry every time just thinking of that time period and the different experiences then.

I lost my baby boy David at almost 14 weeks December 2023. I heard this song and cried so much. I then used it to make a short video with pictures of my pregnancy tests, ultrasounds and even put in his heartbeat and I watch it over and over. I will share my story because this is very isolating and we should talk about it more.

I didn’t imagine in a millions years that i will go through losing a child, June 9th 2022 i lost my first daughter at 31 weeks pregnant It’s the hardest feeling ever, leaving the hospital empty hand, going into her nursery looking at all her stuff going through the postpartum getting my milk looking at my c-section scar all this things hurt so hard 💔💔 My heart shattered I don’t wish it for my worst enemy 💔 I love you my baby girl Malak (her name mean angel in arabic ) I can’t wait to meet you in heaven 🤍

I just found you. Your sensitivity is such a gift.

I think the beauty of this song is she keeps the loss she’s talking about is so vague that you can relate it to whatever you connect with! I think her pain whatever she went through is no longer the storyline as soon as she put this out and only wants the audience to relate their own struggles to it

It's the loss of the whole potential of their life. You live the rest of your life with the loss because they were never there. I had a close co worker who was pregnant. She went into premature labour and had her baby girl, who didn't live more than an hour. When this happened I had just found out I was pregnant. And I couldn't talk to her. I couldn't see her. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until I was 5 months, didn't post anything in case she saw it. I just couldn't bare giving her pain by seeing what I had. I can understand that church lady who avoided your mom a little. Maybe she wasn't trying to avoid her so much as spare her the comparison, not rub her nose in it. Because how can you stand there, knowing someone else's loss and having what they desperately wanted.

I love your videos!!! Side note… you have the most beautiful eyes! And I love that water l painting in your videos it’s mesmerizing to me

this song is about her friend who passed away..she told the world while acceptin an award

amazing video, loving the taylor swift reactions! you should check out some songs by Mitski i feel like she also talks about important topics, some songs i think you’d enjoy are Nobody,Me & my Husband and I Want You. Love your videos so much thank you for diving deep and getting personal!!

I had the same experience as your friend, listening to this song and uncontrollably sobbing on the floor after losing my IVF baby. I absolutely agree that we need to talk about grief, this kind of grief particularly, more often. Miscarriage and pregnancy loss happens so so often and I feel like we all just bottle it up.

I lost my son he just turned 18 but he was still my baby I had took care of him for 18 years and I feel this song is perfect for him because he was just getting started with life he was here to short of a time

honestly my second listen through to it I got extremely emotional and related it to loss and grief in general; I lost my grandfather who had alzheimers last year, the line "I'm never gonna meet what could've been should've been what would've been you" hit so much harder cause he wasn't himself when he passed away.

Fabulous commentary.

I relate to this song a lot....my father passed way last year (Aug 2022). He had stage 4 thyroid cancer, which happened out of nowhere. His prognosis was short. It'll be a year since he passed away, this Aug. This song has truly helped me cope with my grief. I love Taylor and her music.

Really great discussion. I lost my younger sister in 2008 only 30 yrs old of cancer. Yes there is no such thing is "getting over it". I am still dealing with it today.