Emotional Reasoning- The Cognitive Distortion that makes you Emotionally Reactive

Emotional Reasoning- The Cognitive Distortion that makes you Emotionally Reactive - Anxiety 18/30

Рет қаралды 323,421

5 ай бұрын

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In this video I’m going to teach you an important skill to be less emotionally reactive. Essentially, how to control your emotions. Emotions lie to you all the time. But they feel so real. They are very powerful motivators, but they aren’t always accurate. In this video you’ll learn how to be less emotionally reactive by learning to combat emotional reasoning. You’ll learn 4 ways to slow yourself down in an intense moment and 3 steps to combating emotional reasoning. We'll also talk for a minute about the difference between emotions and intuition.
Emotional reasoning is a cognitive distortion where you believe that something is true simply because it feels true. You use emotions as your evidence, instead of logic or, you know, evidence.
If you want to control your emotions, you need to learn how to recognize emotional reasoning and replace it with a combination of logic and values-based decision making. This is a fundamental skill from CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy.
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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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Пікірлер: 464

@Wulan-um6ip Ай бұрын

"If something causes a huge emotional response, it must be a big deal and I have to act on it", something I have been believing in and never realized...

@jwalkinit 5 ай бұрын

"Emotions lie to you all the time. But they feel so real." Thank you! I really needed that reminder!!!

@heyitsC1 5 ай бұрын

"Your reactions are always valid but your actions to your reactions are not always valid". Something I heard forever ago, but I do think we can learn to be less emotionally reactive for sure!

@CS-zn4bu 4 ай бұрын

Reacting aggressively is in our nature though, see other cultures (non-western)

@heyitsC1 4 ай бұрын

@@CS-zn4bu I know it is- but we can still take time to make the habit of stopping for a second before reacting.

@CS-zn4bu 4 ай бұрын

That's true and also civilized. @@heyitsC1

@JenniferKastelic 5 ай бұрын

Thank you. "I am not my sensations. Emotions are sensations. I am not my emotions."

@sethtenrec 5 ай бұрын

But emotions are still a powerful force in driving you to action, correct?

@JenniferKastelic 5 ай бұрын

hopefully you think before you act and with your heart. I mean, people who commit murder are usually feeling pretty emotional@@sethtenrec

@sethtenrec 5 ай бұрын

@@JenniferKastelic that’s the idea, but this video is pointing out that it’s not that easy. Most people say something they regret, or something like that, rather than murdering somebody, however.

@JenniferKastelic 5 ай бұрын

hence my inner mantra@@sethtenrec

@beautyamongashes8378 5 ай бұрын

“The Gift Of Fear” this book changed my life. It really helped me to discern between intuition and anxiety!

@LonerSoulnae 4 ай бұрын

Thank you I will have to look into this

@melissasue3328 3 ай бұрын

I looked it up is it the Gaven de becker book?

@FullMoonHowl 2 ай бұрын

Fantastic book, totally agree.

@dangerouscaterpillar5522 2 ай бұрын

Who wrote this book thanks 😊

@ashleyclinton3485 Ай бұрын

I love that she distinguishes between anxiety and intuition. Our emotions are a blessing and a form of knowledge but like anything, they take discipline and practice to understand their true use.

@Allisoninspirations 4 ай бұрын

Emotioms are indicators, not dictators. Its telling you something is going on, pay attention but don't allow your emotions to control you

@4Beats4Me 5 ай бұрын

I felt nauseous before my first mortgage signing...My mom said she felt the same way at tbe same time in her life.. some relief. We needed this farm. We were happy there for 30 years.

@KathleenRenninger 5 ай бұрын

This video freed me from a tyrant: the belief that my random bouts with anxiety always mean something . I realized much of my stress was coming from taking them seriously, searching for what might be causing them, and thinking the worst. They are simply "there", and often are only a result of physical discomfort or lack of sleep. Thank you so much. You are doing wonderful work!

@mariah9824 Ай бұрын

I relate to this so much, thank you for this comment!

@VictoryAviation 5 ай бұрын

You HOPE this is helpful? You’re out here doing amazing work while spreading fantastic knowledge to those of us that either cannot afford professional therapy, those of us that cannot attend mental health therapy due to career restrictions, and those of us simply fascinated by psychology and the human condition. Your work is BY FAR helpful in ways you may not have even considered. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done to help others, and the incredible work you’ve done introspectively as well so that you better understand what lies within your field of expertise.

@joannefeeney5792 3 ай бұрын

So true!

@2021noname 2 ай бұрын

She’s saving individuals and families and beyond

@liasid 5 ай бұрын

This was useful, thank you! And to anyone here struggling with anxiety, just know you are not alone and keep going. Day by day, minute by minute, second by second if you have to. You got this!

@suefaust947 5 ай бұрын

God loves us all the time, He doesn’t want us to feel anxious, but He isn’t mad when you do have those feelings.❤

@user-dp9xg5tw4w 5 ай бұрын

المشكلة تكمن انه قد يكون نمط شخصية او نمط ثابت للشخص مدى الحياة بسبب تصميم مخه او دماغه الموضوع وراثي😢 هنا تكون مشكلة

@sethtenrec 5 ай бұрын

@@suefaust947 if there is a god, and IF she is paying attention, and those are big “ifs”…one thing certain is that YOU don’t know how she thinks.

@suefaust947 5 ай бұрын

@@sethtenrec We have the Bible that tells us what the Lord thinks, to a certain degree. His ways are higher and His thoughts are greater than we can understand right now. He loves you and all He has created, that’s why He came to the earth, paid our sin debt and is preparing a place for you in Heaven. Adam brought sin into the world, and we are just like him. God made a way back to Himself by Jesus’s blood that was a full payment for our sins. He created us for fellowship with Himself as was planned in the beginning. Satan is the ruler of this world at the present time, but his time is very limited. You can look around and see how desperate he is to destroy the human race.

@sethtenrec 5 ай бұрын

@@suefaust947 The Bible is propaganda written by men to control men and women. What else you got?

@Cyanide_Mallika 5 ай бұрын

I'm sitting in my room, so distressed and caught up in stress that I practically feel paralysed. I can't do anything. Can't get up eat drink water or sleep. Just sitting with intrusive thoughts trying to reason with them. This all is a very miserable state of mind to have. I am learning to understand myself so I can take better care of mental health because. This all was helpful. Thank you.

@stone7761 Ай бұрын

Don't do that cause I have been there just get out of bad and leave your mind alone go outside and don't misunderstand your feelings accept them without judgement.❤ For inst ; you decide right now to go out but now your mind telling you all the crap what if this happen or what if a girl or boy tries to talk to you then what will you do so all this imagination will take place and then you fall for this trap cause you think if I am feeling this way then I must be right.❤😂

@Cyanide_Mallika Ай бұрын

@@stone7761 Thank you for the kindness and suggestion, I completely agree with you ❤

@letscheckitout1985 5 ай бұрын

I love this woman she deserves all the success and money that she’s growing from this KZfaq channel. She’s making a huge difference and so many peoples lives and she’s doing it for free to us. God bless you and your family.

@michaelmclaren7373 5 ай бұрын

So…”you don’t have to believe everything you think…” ❤

@mommyseastar5776 Ай бұрын

I think a lot of times people are mean to others when they hate themselves. I feel sad for them but I love myself.

@ryank1273 Ай бұрын

Yeah, I can say the same.

@MrMisuma 5 ай бұрын

One of the things I appreciate with KZfaq videos is, that it’s not said one time and gone forever. I can go back as many times as needed and trust me. I need that 😅 Thank you for making these videos, I really appreciate it 🙏

@christinemcdermott4772 2 ай бұрын

Your teaching style and ability to bring knowledge so generously is greatly helpful - thank you immensely

@myspace2001 Ай бұрын

Yes! I have a playlist of saved videos called "mental health" and I go back to these videos whenever I need them :)

@chelseagirl30 5 ай бұрын

I love the way you speak, informative without being boring and you’re side tangents- as an adhder I definitely relate 😂

@ryank1273 Ай бұрын

ADHD is a EF5 tornado that derails my dang trains all the time. Being blursed with Autism and ADHD is something I almost always go off on.

@sheilabroccoli350 5 ай бұрын

I was just speaking with my therapist about congnative distortion & what will help, my brain is wired for negative, anxious, worried, catastrophic thinking, this was Very helpful, Thank you so much Emma🙂ps Wishing you Happiness &Love in your new 🏠

@joannefeeney5792 3 ай бұрын

The good news is, you CAN rewire your brain to a certain extent..it is hard work but so rewarding. Best of luck - nameste

@mjchecksfield914 5 ай бұрын

I have been doing that slowing down and its helped heaps. I also started not letting the trigger trigger me. Its sounds simple enough, but its a game changer if you can master that and puts you in full charge of yourself!

@rosequartz3525 23 күн бұрын

Thank you!

@aubrey6538 5 ай бұрын

Oh my God I connected to this video so much I have left a high demand religion, and they were very much into emotions of feeling the spirit, and if you didn’t feel right, it was the devil, and I am so grateful for the validation of this video.

@loveleebeing 5 ай бұрын

Thank you very much, I’m 25 years old and have always felt overcome by high emotions. Mainly my anger, anxiety or sadness. I’m at the point in my life where my reactiveness is genuinely clouding my vision, so I’m trying to teach myself a better way of being. I’d love to learn more about ways of growing out of emotional reactiveness within close intimate relationships if you don’t already have videos on this topic, thank you again for sharing!

@Magik1369 5 ай бұрын

It's not cognition or the thinking function of consciousness that distorts emotions. It is the repressed emotions, feelings, instincts, and complexes that distort cognition. The unconscious is full of repressed energy and wounds. Until this primal repression is purged and integrated, a person will always be reactive. We react out of the emotions and wounds of the past. Jung called this repressed content the shadow. It took me 23 years to clear primal repression and now I am completely non reactive and do not suffer anxiety or depression anymore. This process is called "individuation" or spiritual awakening and it is symbolized in all the world's spiritual and religious traditions. But yes, to your point, the first step is to strengthen the ego by learning new ways of thinking. Peace.

@serenitythyme219 3 ай бұрын

@therapyinanutshell will you respond .?

@stevec404 5 ай бұрын

"When the student is ready, the teacher will come" - Thank you for the gift of this video...I have struggled with emotions and emotional reasoning all my life. Today was especially difficult. Now I understand how to make changes to my perspectives.

@tommac21 5 ай бұрын

Well when someone truly knows how to teach something that can't be taught. Let us know

@sethtenrec 5 ай бұрын

@@tommac21 “us”? Are you attempting to speak for other people? All kidding aside, I haven’t found any subject that can’t have some wisdom illuminated in me by good teachers.

@user-oc3lc1sx8m 27 күн бұрын

My mistake was confusing intuition with emotion. I value intuition highly. By confusing the two, it led me to be impulsive, which led to negative outcomes. I’m now learning how to be more rational to counteract the impulsive behaviors.

@Lumiverse. 5 ай бұрын

This helped me so much! I was the person that felt that because I felt awkward in awkward situations I must be awkward. I love the idea of zooming out on our feelings and seeing them from a different perspective. When I really struggled with anxiety what I'd do is try to feel all that space around my emotions where things weren't quite as charged. For some reason thinking about things spatially and then seeing my emotions from different angles really helped. Gonna practice what I learned in this video!

@alyssac8258 5 ай бұрын

I can feel my brain actively changing as I’m listening to this. I shared this with a few of my friends and I’m a firm believer the world would be a much better place if every child was taught this ❤ thank you

@terrimartel6558 5 ай бұрын

This is such a crucial topic. Think about, in all levels of society, the idiotic things that people do based on emotional reasoning. Sadly society is heavily influenced via their emotional reasoning. Again, great topic that I have to continually remibd myself about. Thank you!

@Fvillegas 5 ай бұрын

I really needed to hear this today. If you did too, I'm sending you all the love and wisdom. We're not alone. Thank you so much!! You're the best @TherapyinaNutshell

@E.CO2023 26 күн бұрын

I frequently watch your videos. You have changed my life tremendously. I suffer from really bad anxiety and these videos have helped me calm it down when it starts.

@indigoziona 5 ай бұрын

This was great! I often struggled to identify emotional reasoning but when you described it at the start I knew exactly what you were talking about. I think it can be easy to ger tangled up in the idea that strong emotions are "bad" because they "make" us react. Working through resources like your fantastic videos had enabled me to look back on times that I've essentially frozen myself in anger because I felt the anger was in itself bad... now I take the time to slow down and look at the anger and let myself feel it. It sounds like a little thing, but I think the simple fact that feeling angry and acting on it are different things has really helped me be a much happier person. Thank you!

@autumnreinhardt-simpson3601 5 ай бұрын

Ahhh! Thank you! I was always irritated by the evolutionary explanation of anxiety because my experience of anxiety doesn't feel at all the same as when I am facing an actual threat. To hear you explain the difference between intuition and real danger vs disregulation and anxiety makes so much more sense!

@sethtenrec 5 ай бұрын

It’s all such a long journey. I think the number one point to take away from this is “slow down” when the emotions hit. There’s a lot more to it, but that is step number one. Slow down, take a breath, take another deep breath, and another. Close your mouth, don’t do anything.

@BeeLZBeeb Ай бұрын

@sethtenrec "close your mouth, don't do anything" I need that tattooed on my head.

@fleuveyushan 5 ай бұрын

5:33 Love this discernment about intuition and emotion

@MegaSnail1 13 күн бұрын

I Love your way of explaining emotional reasoning. This is an area of my life that I have had so much trouble in understanding. My theory regarding why so many people have trouble with this is they not only lack the tools you suggest, their feelings of low self worth impedes their ability accept that their way of processing emotions is beyond their control and therefore caused by outside influences. Thank You

@lesley4215 5 ай бұрын

This is so impactful for me right now, Thank you. Congratulations on your new house!!!

@canadianhorselink2312 5 ай бұрын

You are such a gift Emma. Thank you!

@josephbaker5965 5 ай бұрын

Emma 🙏 your videos are more helpful than words can say. I hope many people around the world in terrible situations can hear these pearls of wisdom 😊

@Vivere17 4 ай бұрын

You are an angel helping people who are suffering

@eliut6855 5 ай бұрын

I AM SO GRATEFUL! This video just came to me at precisely the right moment! YOU ARE AWESOME! THANK YOU❤

@rosandrakaplan9832 Ай бұрын

This is so terrific! Question about dealing with anger or frustration with a situation that is beyond your control

@daniellesmith1527 4 ай бұрын

Thank you! I love how practical this is.

@AlitaMee 5 ай бұрын

Hi i watched your video on regret and it absolutely changed my life my perspective. I was stuck but now i am not . The tining could not have been perfect. Thanks for making our new year beautiful by "hammering" right mindset. Love you with all my heart. Really grateful to you . Thanks.

@user-us7rg4cd6p 5 ай бұрын

First like and then listen!!.. Thats how fantastic Emma's videos are! Sooo helpful!

@traceysheneman8652 5 ай бұрын

Thanks. Between stimulus and response there is the breath. Stopping in the midst of emotional upheaval to gain perspective and access our deeper wisdom.

@phillipsantana2633 5 ай бұрын

Wow this one was packed with great information. Love when Emma says count to five then changes and says count to ten when feeling anxious. She addressed the problem as if she were taking on it herself. I'm playing this session back.

@sethtenrec 5 ай бұрын

Same, and taking notes. Then the next big step is actually practicing. In this case, the platitude “practice makes perfect” Is a good one. “Practice makes better” is obviously truly correct, but the other one is easier to remember!

@samithpriyantha6125 5 ай бұрын

I am so thankful for you for educating us in this topic. May your shadow never grow less

@TillyJayS93 Ай бұрын

I learned to suppress my emotions while I was growing up, so I actually have a difficult time with expressing how I feel in a healthy manner. I usually bottle my emotions but I’m trying to help myself by expressing myself. Since I bottle my emotions is turns into something very negative internally. It also causes me not to trust my own emotions, like “is it okay for me to feel angry about this?” When I knew I was…. Sometime when I get angry I literally want to blow up on people but I never have. I just remain quiet but internally I’m screaming. Now at my big age of 31 I’m learning how to express my displeasure with someone or something in a healthy way. I think it took for me becoming a mom to realize I needed to work on this. Expanding my communication skills also helps as well.

@Batmanda1014 5 ай бұрын

This was a great video. I think everyone in the world would benefit from watching this. Thanks!

@dee5356 5 ай бұрын

Great video! Very helpful!Thank you! Congratulations on your new home!Very best wishes to you and your family!

@somewhereinthemidwest9827 4 ай бұрын

So happy I found your channel♥️ Thank you!!❤

@ItsAmazing64 5 ай бұрын

Thank you so so much for everything you do 🙏❤️ while getting emotionnaly stronger, it’s also so calming and reassuring to listen to you talk. Xx

@staycool163 5 ай бұрын

I've actually been trying to be more aware of my thoughts and reactions and deal with them accordingly. Thank you so much for talking about this!

@sethtenrec 5 ай бұрын

My therapist talks about similar concepts, and practice, when you’re not triggered, is an important step.

@elainedunn9539 5 ай бұрын

Please know that your work is valued and appreciated, from sunny Australia 💯

@enja455 5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much talking about emotional reasoning and for explaining the difference between emotions and intuition, it is incredibly helpful ❤ You are amazing 🙏

@aamnahere6250 5 ай бұрын

Quick question: I would love to understand why some people in our lives who become outright mean and callous to us any time they don't get their way or are themselves hurt over something tend to gaslight by reiterating that they're not the ones verbally abusing and disrespecting us? I understand why it's hard to accept our own faults but how do these people convince themselves that they're the victims while screaming at or being mean and terrible to their loved ones for hours without acknowledging their own problematic behaviour? How do people simultaneously both emotionally and even physically hurt others while genuinely believing themselves to be the wronged party? I would love an explanation from a therapist like yourself. Stay blessed!

@jessIe76468 5 ай бұрын

This is a type of answer I didn't know I needed! Please I want to know too

@Surfsup448 5 ай бұрын

Isn’t that a narcissist sociopath?

@yvonnemiles7433 5 ай бұрын

Narcissistic or personality disorder. I have one family member who is exact to what you described. Put up boundaries. Don’t argue with them it’s pointless, you’ll never win. Take care of you because chances are they aren’t going to change 😊

@fairynerdmother 5 ай бұрын

That’s narcissistic behavior and I deal with that with my own mother. I had to cut out both of my parents because of this. They don’t change, unfortunately. They’re always a victim and will never acknowledge their wrongdoings because they truly believe they have done no wrong!

@uddercharmsfarm8159 5 ай бұрын

I would like to know this too!!

@raymondanderson1026 5 ай бұрын

SUPER helpful! Great job! Oh man I could’ve used this a few years ago but I’m so glad to be growing in these skills and knowledge.

@loriwaggoner7129 4 ай бұрын

You are a gem and I am regularly helped by your videos. THANK YOU

@palomavano4705 3 ай бұрын

Your channel is fantastic! I am so grateful to have found it. The knowledge and skills I'm gaining are incredibly useful. Thank you for providing such valuable content!

@2021noname 2 ай бұрын

binge watching this channel all day as I go through my day

@nadyabest1279 4 ай бұрын

I am glad I found this channel, thank you for your work

@caferaceroo 5 ай бұрын

This was so helpful, thank you for making this!

@reuttersusan 5 ай бұрын

Always insightful! Thank you!

@newkiann 5 ай бұрын

this really changed my anxiety i been listening to some of ur podcasts or youtubes and tysm for helping me and a lot of ppl.

@marysmith2060 5 ай бұрын

Spot on topic. I needed this today.

@MGomez777 5 ай бұрын

Congratulations on your home!!❤

@OROZCO033 3 ай бұрын

I needed this in my life! Thank you!

@yvonnerogers6429 5 ай бұрын

Thank you. I believe this’ll come in handy. By the by, the Star Trek: TOS reference was priceless!

@BeeLZBeeb Ай бұрын

May the 4th be with you

@aileenbarnett8570 4 ай бұрын

Short and very helpful! Thanks!

@Monadology1 5 ай бұрын

I think this is exactly the video I need right now.

@thatscool1550 5 ай бұрын

i am literally in this boat right now. I wish I had a friend like you lol

@robertking7269 2 ай бұрын

Thanks for the practical advice you provide. Our freedom lies in the space between our actions and our minds ability to do nothing until nothing is left to do

@juliehoot3916 5 ай бұрын

Thank you! Slowing down is a great idea! 👍

@jessicaluevano7598 3 ай бұрын

You are literally my therapy queen thank you so much❤️❤️

@dorothynason6934 5 ай бұрын

Wow that was very enlightening.Thank you so much.Now I just have to put your awesome advice into practice.❤

@user-nv1lh6ny9k 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for another great video !

@pauletteispassingiton943 5 ай бұрын

Love your channel

@janestanton9422 3 ай бұрын

Very helpful and perfect timing.😊🙏🏻

@ioanamalinici4545 5 ай бұрын

This was very helpful, thank you! ❤

@chelseagirl30 5 ай бұрын

I needed to see this video today. So much info I can use!

@winterwillow1037 20 күн бұрын

Wow what a helpful video. I definitely grew up in a house where my mother was this way and I see myself reflecting this to a lesser extent, and want to fix it. What a great place to start, loved the suggestions and clear explanations.

@seasonalliving2881 5 ай бұрын

As I continue to experience life I often wonder, what’s the point of emotions? They’re often portrayed in a negative light…”she’s an emotional person”…”don’t let your emotions rule you”..

@hannazarowska5407 5 ай бұрын

I'm happy for you, Emma, about your new home. I wish you a lot of joy while decorating.🏡🌺🤗

@trelainamobley6254 Ай бұрын

That was really helpful!! And you explained it so clearly and well!

@JuliaShalomJordan 2 ай бұрын

This is such a great video!!! Thank you!

@NasirZia_India 5 ай бұрын

Hello Emma your videos helping me in recovery from anxiety, love from India ❤

@TheAutisticResearcherPA 2 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your personal experiences!

@tiffanypersaud3518 Ай бұрын

Thanks for the vid❤ and thanks for sharing your personal experience in application. I use “emotional tunnel vision” or “emotional flooding” or “emotionally charged thinking” rather than “emotional reasoning” even though I know the latter is a psychology term in cognitive behavioural therapy. And it is as you said, emotions aren’t the enemy. But you need to lead yourself and not have them lead you.

@superpoodlehead 4 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤ More of what to do in that moment before a big emotion. This is where I fail!

@maggiemm1000 2 ай бұрын

This course has helped me so much thank you

@EvaK28 2 ай бұрын

Wow what an insightful and helpful video. Thank you !!

@jillpruett3444 5 ай бұрын

Excellent, helpful video. Thank you.

@furyomori3896 5 ай бұрын

I really love your videos. Thank you!

@lobsterbisque7567 5 ай бұрын

Thank You! I don't suffer from anxiety, But I find Your your insight on emotions will help me hold myself in better accountability

@mariah9824 Ай бұрын

Wellll I think I just found the most helpful video on KZfaq. I need to watch this weekly 😅

@Daria-Kurilko 5 ай бұрын

Thank you so mich for your videos! Love them!

@elizabethjenkins6448 5 ай бұрын

Much appreciation thanks for sharing your personal experience with anxiety and tools to process

@user-wu3eo6dq7k 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for this helpful video

@Moneypenny1960 3 ай бұрын

Wow I can’t believe this was here this morning. It’s like everything I need help with coming my way. Yesterday I had a very big mouth about everything that upset me and I came home from work thinking I had a very big mouth. 😅