THIS is why narcissists give SILENT TREATMENT! 😡It's them

THIS is why narcissists give SILENT TREATMENT! 😡It's them - not you!

Рет қаралды 21,971

2 жыл бұрын

Today I will discuss the goal of the silent treatment. The silent treatment can be used by narcissists and non-narcissists and while this video discussed silent treatment in relationships with narcissists, the same information can apply with a non-narcissist. However, you will need to remember for the narcissist, the silent treatment is about control and manipulation which is very different from someone who is using the silent treatment to step away from an overwhelming or chaotic situation. Learning how to deal with silent treatment from a narcissist can help protect your mental health. Why narcissists give silent treatment is because they need to protect against narcissistic injury. The narcissist is always on the defensive against experiencing shame and narcissistic injury. They give the silent treatment when their narcissistic supply is waning and they need to refill it by watching you suffer. Narcissists are mean and the goal of the silent treatment is for you to feel like you are at fault for whatever they want you to feel bad about, and this part of the lack of responsibility taking. How to stop silent treatment can be difficult but I will go over some tools you can use.
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Пікірлер: 169

@DrEmilyMayfield Жыл бұрын

Have you decided to go no contact for your own sanity and mental health but wonder if you are giving the silent treatment too? Learn more about the difference between no contact and the silent treatment here! kzfaq.info/get/bejne/f7aiiLOKs7zPips.html

@CynthiaAva Жыл бұрын

I definitely think the silent treatment is an attempt at regaining some kind of power or control they think they have lost. It's a punishment for not bowing down to them and following the playbook. To me, it means peace and calm.

@nad_carethusiast 2 жыл бұрын

My narcissist cousin is giving me a silent treatment and i responded with blocking her instead. She aint that important..

@FK-cg8el Жыл бұрын

Well done

@Dajahgraves Жыл бұрын

LMAOOOO

@lanashowler5906 Жыл бұрын

Lmao well i bet that knocked her down a few pegs... 😂. Nice one... No narcisist is important.. They know inside they are the shit kickers in society... And will never be anything more. :)...

@BustedFlush7096 7 ай бұрын

I did the same exact thing. I’m over these games. She did it for one year last time. When I told her how bad she hurt me by doing this, she laughed. She didn’t take a sick cat to the vet, and had her daughter take it. Told me to call her daughter, I did and I was given a text with $500 on it. They wanted me to offer to pay it, no. They didn’t ask, it was a set up, of if I didn’t offer, she’d give me the treatment again. I tried to explain I was talking to her daughter trying to find a vet for under a hundred, which I did. Mom said the kid took her to Blue Pearl, cause the kid didn’t know where to go. It’s not my fault the cat died. I told her it was really sick on Thanksgiving but she didn’t take it to the vet. She knew this was the first Christmas I was excited about Christmas and bought she and her two girls lots of cool gifts. The expectation for $100 every time there is an occasion is ridiculous. She sent me a text saying she was just going to be spending time with her family. Right there she was telling me I wasn’t part anymore. Merry Christmas.

@wallymarcel1 4 ай бұрын

I’ve got one of those cousins too, but I’m not blocking her. I’d rather have her try to hoover me, then ignore her.

@treatmenice1564 2 жыл бұрын

The goal of the silent treatment is to teach you a lesson for not taking the narcs bullshit. The narc can't listen to reason so they cut you off knowing this will hurt you.

@MisterFanwank Жыл бұрын

I got a year of peace out of my silent treatment. Really wish he hadn't realized apologizing was enough to put me in the wringer again.

@ImpulsoCreativo9322 10 ай бұрын

this is so true!

@chinadoll534 10 күн бұрын

Sounds about right. But their actually the one that is hurting simply because too much effort and thought was put into no contact in reality

@faithing88 7 ай бұрын

The silent treatment taught me to self reflect and finally i became strong enough to live without them 😊

@DrEmilyMayfield 7 ай бұрын

Silent txt

@svwerner2877 3 ай бұрын

I’m working on doing that. He asked for divorce over a month ago. Has done nothing to pursue. Silent treatment has been happening for months. I wish I had enough $$$ to leave. 🙏 & working on what I’m going to do. Done with S.T. 38 years of marriage.

@faithing88 3 ай бұрын

@@svwerner2877 I'm so sorry 😔 Please focus on yourself. Find what makes you happy, they want you spend everything you have on them, your emotions, your time, your best years, your empathy, they are vampires, please try find what brings you joy, pure into yourself, don't pay them attention, build yourself you will shocked how you will fall in love with yourself all over again, the strange thing about life is once you pay less attention to what affects you it stops being so troubling, start praying, read your bible, laugh alone.,

@carolovesteven Жыл бұрын

It’s always about “supply.” Silent treatment is an effective way of not having to take accountability and to create uncertainty in the victim.

@chinadoll534 10 күн бұрын

Yelp

@SarahlabyrinthLHC 9 ай бұрын

My narcissist ex used the silent treatment on me for three months (we were living in the same house). He broke his silence when he saw me packing things into the car one morning. He deigned to speak then, saying "What are you doing?" My reply was "I'm leaving you and will get a divorce." And so I did. He didn't like that one bit. He had done the same on many previous occasions and it came to be more than enough, so I left. After 18 years.

@mamaknow8056 4 ай бұрын

1 word.. bye! That’s what I said 🤣

@SarahlabyrinthLHC 4 ай бұрын

That would work!@@mamaknow8056

@chinadoll534 10 күн бұрын

Oh wow good for you. Sorry yall couldn’t work it out 😞

@sallyclay1974 10 ай бұрын

Selfish, egocentric , sell centered , spoiled. Can be sadistic when They pout. They have to be in control at all times.

@Taqwah_Tawheed Жыл бұрын

They always come back once they’re done with silent treatment and the only treatment they deserve and you can give them is forever silent treatment no contact

@Maria-mq8pe Жыл бұрын

Two can play silent ~ the longer the silence the less likely I will be interested in that case good bye have a great life

@garycordle5295 2 жыл бұрын

This is a part of grooming you to break you down it's a form of mental abuse, and once you give in they know they have you, it's all about power and control, it's testing the waters, you get a silent treatment give them one for life you don't deserve the bs because after the silent treatment comes so many more mind fck games, blame shifting gas lighting you etc 👍 Dr Emily and survivors and thrivers 🦋

@Ikaros23 2 жыл бұрын

The silent treatment is the perfect momentum to cut the narcissist out for life. That is go " no contact".

@garycordle5295 Жыл бұрын

@@Ikaros23 I used the time to try and understand what I was dealing with myself I had no idea, I KZfaq everything and once I learned I eventually went no contact,it was a great awakening and the pandemic I took advantage of going no contact 👍

@Ikaros23 Жыл бұрын

@@garycordle5295 Once we know who they are... that is " a narcissist". And they`re main goals " narcissistic supply" and " control" . Then it`s more easy to go no contact or to use the grey rock method. The hard part is to see that they are always just using " masks". The mask of " the hero" ( they think they are superior to others , " Victim" ( acting like the victim) " the mirror mask" ( pretenting to love what we love, hate what we hate... and lovebomb).. And there is the " true person" behind them... The anger, manipulating, gaslighting, silent treating sadistic/insecure/asshole. Once we see that the masks are simply a illusion and that the rageing maniac is the true self of the narcissist. Then cutting these assholes out of our lifes is the most healthy thing we can do. Even if it is our own parent or even our adult child.

@apontutul Жыл бұрын

Yeah gave one for the life... Blocked her from everywhere

@Ikaros23 Жыл бұрын

@@apontutul Good!. Also burn the pictures, and reframe the memories. That is remember that the " good times", where just lovebombing/flattery/fakery/Con artistery. The narcissist don`t love us now. The narcissist has never loved us in the past. And they never will love us in the future. And the person we loved. Never existed. We loved a illusion. Stay out. And never look back. And remember that you are not alone in taking these brave steps. I`m also taking them, and so are millions of other survivors of these warped "humanoid" actors

@El-bz1tq 10 ай бұрын

You can do a lot to stop the silent treatment. You can refuse to take them back. POWER TO YOU.

@rob_see 9 ай бұрын

that's what i did. she is blocked. i tried so hard to make it work. no more.

@randy_cbc8811 3 ай бұрын

Yes, if we aren't careful, if we don't keep our wits about us, we can start thinking the Narcissist is like God, omnipotent and undefeatable, but this is not the case. We have more 'control' than we give ourselves credit for. We can say 'no', we have the freedom of choice; we need not be victimized by evil narcissistic abuse. For it, the manipulation and abuse, truly IS evil, and God is not on the side of evil.

@HEALTHEDIVISION 3 ай бұрын

I find it HILARIOUS to watch the narc - the grown up, 60 year old narc - act like a four year old who didn't get what they wanted for Christmas. It used to bother me. Now I find it entertaining.

@aleciawimer8506 4 ай бұрын

It’s a temper tantrum when they didn’t get their way. It’s an attempt, and I say, attempt, to gain superiority.

@chinadoll534 10 күн бұрын

Sounds about right.

@g-dcomplex1609 9 ай бұрын

after my ex gave me the silent treatment for last time, i simply blocked her in all ways i could think of, i completely shut her out, and stop her silent treatment games, once they start the silent treatment, time to go away from that person. they will never respect your time or loyalty regardless

@parrymylogicthen290 Жыл бұрын

The best way to counter it is to go no contact! It's not you, it's them!

@karencassata2520 Жыл бұрын

A lot of time, it’s because of new supply!

@CynthiaAva Жыл бұрын

Yes, the narc in our lives recycles supply. They focus on one person or a couple at a time...and go in a cycle. Repetative. Narcissists are basically stuck in a loop.

@lisabyl3240 2 жыл бұрын

It's really so childish of them to go silent. Life is too short to put up with any cra from anyone! Unfortunately sometimes you dont find out until you're either already married or involved in deep with one. It's meant to frustrate. Its pathetic

@theteal123 Жыл бұрын

Everything that you said is so true. I am in the 3 week silent treatment and blocked for 3 weeks. This is nothing new. He has given me the silent treatment for 9 months in the past. This is very unhealthy and disrespectful for the recipient and I am over it. I need to move on. This narc will never change.

@CynthiaAva Жыл бұрын

It's mental abuse. But remember, they have the emotional maturity of a toddler. Very sad. Best to stay away and focus on our own healing.

@amymalina5073 10 ай бұрын

Wishing you strength in moving forward and putting this person in your past--for good! Better times and people await you! ❤️

@simjam1980 10 ай бұрын

Trust me, they just keep doing it until you are broken, and then the last silent treatment they will leave you in confusion and run off with someone else. Don't keep hurting yourself. They can't love.

@margaritagomez3490 Жыл бұрын

On my 5th silent treatment, each time a bit longer. I’ve learned to just let it happen and do me. Usually means they are with / or taking to someone else.

@DrEmilyMayfield Жыл бұрын

Definitely focus on you!

@courtneyawalsh 9 ай бұрын

When they find new targets? Enjoy the peace. And pray for the new supply.

@gwendolynwehage6336 2 жыл бұрын

I once told my narcissist I didn't want to hear any excuses they went silent interpreting "no excuses" as "no talking at all", further solidifying their refusal to discuss things. It is common for them to take one little thing you said and take it to the extreme they knew you didn't mean.

@amelittaberretta9109 3 ай бұрын

The silent treatment from two individuals has been on for decades! The emotional damage and pain on me has been phenomenal, to say the least.

@debraanchante3661 8 ай бұрын

OR.. the narcissist uses the silent treatment because they know it hurts you and they’re sadistic and enjoy doing that.. they’re sick.

@leesellars4345 Жыл бұрын

Narcissists will never change so take the silent treatment as a gift and opportunity to be free of all the mind games and start to rebuild the best version of yourself, without them kicking you down every step

@courtneyawalsh 9 ай бұрын

Totally.

@thatomalebo5338 2 жыл бұрын

I was told that things are good between us until I start thinking, implying that using my brain is the problem. Imagine!

@angelakeely5859 Жыл бұрын

Well he will never get the chance to use the "Silent Treatment" on me again, thankfully , the reason I feel they use this tactic is to gain back control over you, make you toe the line, its incredibly manipulative.😏🚩🏃‍♀️

@1stBorn538 6 ай бұрын

Whatever the reason....I'm living my best life unbothered..... Thanks for the break, I get tired of babysitting & micromanaging adults...

@El-bz1tq 10 ай бұрын

Do not speculate if you have done something wrong. The reaction is sick anyway.

@josedopwell9645 4 ай бұрын

"SILENCE PREVENTS OPINIONS." Well put.

@sonderman8079 Жыл бұрын

I think you have described silent treatment exactly as I have experienced it for 15 years of living with my wife. It only ever ends if/when I give in where she feels she's in control. Pure evil! No regards for my young son. What disgusting human beings.

@user-rh4pu9vg1n 7 ай бұрын

When life gives you a lemon...make lemonade 😊✌️...Silent treatment from a NARCISSIST, is Your Lemon...Enjoy your lemonade 💪🎁... It's a BLESSING in disguise..Take n Run...You just WON...( Silence is GOLDEN)

@DrEmilyMayfield 7 ай бұрын

December 22, 2023

@tinac6114 2 жыл бұрын

Mine has gave me the silent treatment for 3 weeks now. Last time it was for 5 months! Last time I hadn't figured out yet he was a Narc. This time I told him "no" to a boundarie he was trying to push so he's ghosted me. He did admit in his anger he's been talking to someone else also. It bothered me at first...his silence...but now thinking...oh well...better luck to the other girl.

@Phyrexiavs 9 ай бұрын

I went through this in my marriage, silent treatment for a week, or two or three. Then ghosted. He was calling my adult kids telling them I was the problem. I get it now. But my kids are hateful to me.

@glenhoff1443 4 ай бұрын

There are some very mentally ill people out there called narcissists. It is so sad. Learn as much as you can about them before you become a damaged soul.

@Evermore2017 8 ай бұрын

I am using the silent treatment against the narcissist. I left the relationship due to lying and cheating. It’s the right and earned thing to do.

@hadiitiniguez2393 6 ай бұрын

I ignored my ex wife when she gave me the silent treatment. I did not give in, hence divorce. I'm Free!

@panfried7566 2 жыл бұрын

04:06 - "The more the silent treatment happens, the more likely you are to take responsibility sooner as a way to relieve the tension". this is a subtle, yet very effective form of manipulation to achieve control. I wanted peace, so I acquiesced. looking back, that was not the "healthy" way to handle it. thanks, doc!

@DrEmilyMayfield 2 жыл бұрын

You are not alone! It is so much easier in the moment to acquiesce. No, it isn't the best way to handle the situation but it worked for you in the moment1 So happy you are finding other ways to respond.

@mirola73 10 ай бұрын

I repay the silent treatment with silence...........she hates it. Hopefully not too long anymore, making moves.

@attractarattigan3574 Жыл бұрын

My inlaws used this.. Silent treatment for 40 yrs.. On each other. It had a determental effect on thefamily esp my ex... Who did it too on me. Divorced him after 44 yrs marriage... Excelerated into many otherforms of abuse that made me ill.. On deaths door. Got better almost immediately when I left my home & farm & business (that I loved). Horror is now in the past.

@mheiseus Жыл бұрын

Once you break and accept their lies as truth then they win. Do not bend the knee to that.

@CynthiaAva Жыл бұрын

No, I will not. The good news is when you don't bend the knee for them, they stay away and find other supply. So, it works in our favor! Yay. I will never bend to a narc-demon. Never.

@writer1986 10 ай бұрын

The silent treatment is a game of competition. Since you didn't do what they said or wanted to do, the narcissists saw this as a "loss". So now they have to punish you by not speaking to you. (And smear your name in the process.) Their hope is that you'll do the talking first, and now they've "won." It's a stupid game. I've had to cut ties with narcissistic family members who decided to play this game with me, and their reactions were of utter shock because they never thought I'd be happy not interacting with them again.

@nicholecornes1915 2 ай бұрын

How the hell could we be happy with them!!!!

@65andSpry Жыл бұрын

I just listened to this and I have listened to many narc survival videos. This is hands down the best presentation for someone dealing with narc silent treatment . Pure gold here. Key takeaway for me was “you cannot change the time line.” My strategy is for healthy self- validation. Thanks going to binge your videos now.

@DrEmilyMayfield Жыл бұрын

Thank you for the kind words! I am happy to hear you found the information helpful. And thank you for watching more videos!

@mosesthetank2318 2 ай бұрын

My wife has been giving me the silent treatment on and off for a decade. Over time, the period of silence has become longer and an episode last year lasted a record 8 months, during which time she lived in a separate bedroom. After about 4 months I started to feel a sense of relief and peace. I slept better and was less stressed. A few weeks ago she started a new episode and it took a few days before I transitioned from feeling just awful and wanting to fix things to a feeling of, THANK GOD she's no longer nagging me. What will come next is she will use sex to draw me back in. She's been pretty good at this. The silent episodes always end abruptly with her suddenly being nice and acting as if nothing happened. There is a refusal to talk about it and even a threat to go back to the silent treatment if I don't let it go. But there is now a (very) surprising feeling that I have... a sense of dread for when she slides naked into bed and blankets me in affection. Is it uncommon that the silent treatment eventually resolves itself with the partner on the receiving end just moving on?

@LordImagawaYoshimoto Жыл бұрын

My girlfriend is doing this to me now after we just talked about this and she promised to improve.

@robertwalker6301 5 ай бұрын

They always promise to improve its a lie and a means to keep u believing a convenient lie that they tell u to keep u on the runaway crazy train going 80 mph with no brakes and the bridge is out

@Luton-Mick 9 ай бұрын

My mother tortured my late father with it just like my ex done with me for 10 years, unlike my poor deceased father I wouldn't put up with any more adult tantrums and eventually kicked the "toddler" to the kerb.

@user-wz1sv3br1l 6 ай бұрын

It’s definitely all about them getting a sense of control and to get the victim to react which supplies them. Our reaction to it makes them feel powerful. It’s rather pathetic.

@tbunnyshy1 7 ай бұрын

My mother does this. She is addicted to “excitement”, so to speak. She is making everyone sick. As the scapegoat, I get it the worst but handle it the best. I go on with my day, do not over-explain ANYTHING, do not volunteer any news or info, etc. I don’t exist, more or less. Silence CAN be peaceful. It just gets a bit hard after WEEKS go by. She is committed to inflicting pain on others.

@l.5832 Жыл бұрын

My narc mother was queen of the silent treatment. Unfortunately I did not know anything about narcissism 50 years ago. Very damaging to a preschooler for their parent to pretend they do not exist. And she could continue it for days until she was satisfied she 'won'. Now mom is dead, and my narc sister carries on her legacy. She has gone a year and a half without speaking or contacting and it is my guess that she will never speak to me again. I really have no idea why they hated me......

@CynthiaAva Жыл бұрын

My brother learned this from the narc that raised us. Unbothered and undisturbed. When they need or want something, they resurface. lol

@dennisassini-pw2ic Жыл бұрын

They don’t hate you. Basically they dislike themselves. That’s the root of the problem!

@l.5832 Жыл бұрын

@@dennisassini-pw2ic If you knew what they have done you would know they hated me. Both of them have lied to me and attempted to steal from me. They have treated me with pure contempt. Pure hatred. If they could do so without getting caught, I believe they would have killed me.

@amymalina5073 10 ай бұрын

It is HER loss. Swallow the loss and move forward. She is the loser here.

@melanieallen1566 Жыл бұрын

My sister hadn’t spoken to me in five years after raging at me in 2018. I left the scene knowing she would go silent but had to save myself. The hardest thing I’ve ever done. She was diagnosed with lung cancer 4 mo ago and passed away last week. I forced my way into her hospital room and she reached out to me saying “I’m done”. Even in her death bed she had to exercise control over me.

@randy_cbc8811 3 ай бұрын

That's very sad: - sorry that you had to go through that.

@keikei1943 2 ай бұрын

Lord, that's fucked up may the Lord heal your heart, she had issues and took them out on you

@annastolpe2292 6 ай бұрын

My whole childhood was a long silent treatment interupted by verbal and physical abuse. As a child I remember thinking that to be seen I had to do something and to be good ses never good enough. How can a mother think this will benefits anyone

@chilo597 8 ай бұрын

To Hurt you. To see you suffer. Until you change..

@KR-pp7wp 4 ай бұрын

So they don't have to face accountability. They are cowards. My ex owes me ALOT of money. His cowardly way out is to lie, manipulate and deceive. When that didn't work and he was exposed he pulled the silent treatment. I see a grown man with a pacifier in his lying mouth, crying to mummy.

@tictactoedias1908 2 жыл бұрын

Silence is Golden now .... to many times totally desensitised now 👍

@tinam2696 8 ай бұрын

My brother (golden child turned narcissist) has stopped talking to me about 5 times. He comes back when he wants to. I walk on eggshells until he stops talking to me again.