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[lyrics]
[spoken] Sigh! There goes Betty Sue, out again with that boy from downtown.
Cruising off to Fun City in their big-ass goddamn Plymouth.
Why me, God? Why do I gotta walk everywhere in these worn out smelly hi-tops?
Guess there's nothing else to do but tell Daddy I'm gonna set myself on fire in the driveway...
[verse 1] Patty and Johnny drove by last night
In their top-down V W bug
So I told my dad I'd slash my wrists
And bleed all over the rug
Tammy and Billy went to the sock hop
in their big cherry red deuce coupe
So I told my dad I'd get a rope
and hang myself off the roof
[chorus](That's why I'm)
Threatenin' suicide again
'Cause Dad won't buy me a car!
Sayin' I'll yeet myself to Heaven
If I don't get what I want!
All the other girls have Chevrolets
But I don't even have a rollerskate!
(And so I'm) Threatenin' suicide again
'Cause Dad won't buy me a car!
[verse 2] Eddie and Donnie had anal sex
in the back of their Ford Fairlaine.
So I told my dad I'd head to the tracks
And French kiss a speeding train
Bobbie and Deena drove drunk as shit
and crashed into a parade
So I told my dad I'd peel off my skin
And roll in razor blades.
[chorus](That's why I'm)
Threatenin' suicide again
'Cause Dad won't buy me a car!
Sayin' I'll cover myself in kerosene
If I don't get what I want!
All the other girls have Oldsmobiles
But I don't even have my training wheels!
(And so I'm) Threatenin' suicide again
'Cause Dad won't buy me a car!
Buy me a Cadillac Escalade
Or I'll pull the pin on this hand grenade!
Threatenin' suicide again
'Cause Dad won't buy me a car!