#167

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#167

Рет қаралды 548,565

Күн бұрын

Live from the deck once again, except this time there's a woman thrashing around in the bushes while they record. Tim goes off on Nextdoor racism, the beachbody pyramid scheme, and why he loves funerals.
Patreon for bonus episodes: / thetimdillonshow
Please Support Our Sponsors:
If you need someone to talk to after listening to this podcast, check out www.betterhelp.... for 10% off your service!
If you go to monday.com/tim, they are going to give you a free 14 day trial.
Follow the show:
KZfaq Channel - / @timdillonshow
Tim J Dillon - / timjdillon
Ben Avery - / benaveryisgood

Пікірлер: 830

@Cuyt24 4 жыл бұрын

I’m 57. No kids. No wife. Drinking wine out of a Burger King cup. I am still trying to pick up women at local sports bars and getting rejected. Going home alone every night. Watching Tim Dillon videos on KZfaq. Life in the big city.

@NoNippleNarc 4 жыл бұрын

PJ Stone not likely

@Cuyt24 4 жыл бұрын

GraNOLAbar I paid for a prostitute last week and she took one look at me when she arrived at my house and said no. I’m just a giant blob of fat, sweat and hair. If I lost 100 pounds I would still be 300 pounds. I don’t blame her. I’m a loser. My step dad was right. The single life right? I was going to get married but I broke it off because I thought I would have unlimited supply of pussy. That dried up after the first 30 pound weight gain back in 07. Sigh. Life in the big city. Enjoy! Yes!

@Vmh1717 4 жыл бұрын

Lol this dude can’t be real

@roymakescomics 4 жыл бұрын

@@Vmh1717 nah, he's clearly riffing and trying to do a bit in the style of Tim, but not as funny, the material is too similar.

@saraforney3940 4 жыл бұрын

I’d turn a trick with you. No funny business tho. Ya can’t beat me up or anything & you’d need a condom. I haven’t whored in maybe three years but you’re pulling at my heart strings

@drgonzo1971 4 жыл бұрын

I love that Better Help still pays for these ads

@eskimointhisworld 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂🤣

@asopher 4 жыл бұрын

They know the mentally depraved listen to Tim Dillon. It’s a win win 🤣

@juneack5848 4 жыл бұрын

The fact that they are mentioned in the comments means its working! They are still sponsors btw.

@exzisd 3 жыл бұрын

I actually listen to the ads. They are hilarious and I've actually THOUGHT about signing up for it went to the page and everything but in quarantine I'm a broke boy.

@theflowerhead 3 жыл бұрын

@@asopher That's so disturbing. 😅 Love it. 👌

@AJValentine-uc3pi 2 жыл бұрын

I love this battle Tim's having with the crazy woman yelling in the bushes, unaware of the fact that he's the exact same person but he's got a microphone.

@paulfroelich1024 2 жыл бұрын

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

@FrenchCanadianGuy Жыл бұрын

Oh, he knows

@DannySullivanMusic Жыл бұрын

haha dude niiice

@chuckn4851 Жыл бұрын

Oh he definitely knew, that's why he kept doing it lol

@LadyDemo 5 ай бұрын

That's all I kept thinking 😂 Maybe she heard him first and she's down there talking shit about him and hollering and howling thrashing bushes and limbs to act bigger and louder 😂😂😂 HE has driven HER insane..

@Daingerous1 4 жыл бұрын

Woke up drunk at 5:30 and made a drink and then saw this just dropped. Life in the Big City.

@PT-tv9my 4 жыл бұрын

I got into a road rage incident and ran over a cyclist. Life in the big city

@ewokcardewas3220 4 жыл бұрын

@@PT-tv9my just saw 2 people smoking crack right outside my window life in the big city

@tini_mg33 4 жыл бұрын

Life in the Big City is one of the best ones.

@closer20jc 4 жыл бұрын

Just stepped over human shit...life in the big city

@sublimelove23 3 жыл бұрын

just railed a line of blow in my cubicle. life in the big city.

@stellar7760 4 жыл бұрын

“In LA they have silent retreats and yoga, in the northeast we have FUNERALS!” LMFAO

@colleenlally-ross7105 3 жыл бұрын

It's funny AND true! We just buried my cousin and saw everyone, ate great food and felt happy to be alive.

@BlekJamal Жыл бұрын

@@colleenlally-ross7105 How long was Ol' Cousin Jimmy on the junk before it took her?

@Aaryan-93 2 ай бұрын

If that's your photo . You're hella cute.

@anonymousconflict2881 Жыл бұрын

Good god these classic Tim Dillon episodes are absolute gold 😭

@bleedlejuice 4 жыл бұрын

"Is she allowed?... it's too dark to tell, thankfully "😂😂😂

@jg2408 2 жыл бұрын

This was a special time. Fall of 2019 Tim Dillon was on absolute fire. Never has been and never will be a better podcast.

@yasamanmansoori2789 2 жыл бұрын

I’ve gone back to watch these for the first time and they’re incredible. It’s too early to say he peaked here but they’re DAMN good nevertheless

@TheSandwich4 2 жыл бұрын

go see him live he is amazing

@milesbeler3974 2 жыл бұрын

Try the archived episode "Pizza Hut Buffet" or especially "Fat Gay Santa"he was WILD between episodes 10-30!

@yasamanmansoori2789 2 жыл бұрын

@@milesbeler3974 thanks!! Firing them up now

@yasamanmansoori2789 2 жыл бұрын

@@milesbeler3974 wait, are these on his Patreon? I’m not subscribed and they’re not on KZfaq. Maybe it’s time to pay 😭

@travis2050 4 жыл бұрын

"better help is better than nothing" lmao

@MrsLady-jt4qt 4 жыл бұрын

Travis I died

@mysticalpineapple7263 3 жыл бұрын

😭😭😩

@robinjoy2789 3 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@colleenlally-ross7105 3 жыл бұрын

Hard ti believe, I still can't stop laughing 😝

@mattstiglic 4 жыл бұрын

My productivity at work has plummeted since discovering Tim's show. Its the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard.

@nowic1tj 3 жыл бұрын

When my Uncle Tommy died unexpectedly of a massive heart attack at a young age, our family was really torn up to say the least, the first 45 min of the showing no one spoke, just crying and sobbing uncontrollably, death was strangling the room. Enter my Uncle Bill, observes the situation and looks to me and my cousins and says , "I don't even know what I'm doing here, he isn't coming to my funeral." To hear 80 people go from sobs to a laughing fit was a beautiful thing.

@CatnamedMittens Жыл бұрын

Fucking hilarious

@Stoney-Jacksman 7 ай бұрын

your 'uncle' bill is a hack and youre an id-iot

@stellar7760 4 жыл бұрын

The ONLY place on the interwebs where I get excited for an advertisement!

@pread7491 4 жыл бұрын

Stellar Celeste him and a channel called internet historian actually have entertaining ads.... it’s the way to do them tbh

@T.I.M.Thirteen 4 жыл бұрын

Stellar Celeste When he said he only has one Better Help ad left, I thought they must have finally listened to his reads. Lol

@flyingstump2938 4 жыл бұрын

Uncle Joey's ads are good as well

@stellar7760 4 жыл бұрын

comixbrainz zzz But in all honesty, the ONLY time I’ve even considered going to Better Help is BECAUSE of Tim’s ads... Better Help NEEDS Tim Dillon.

@bullmoosemedia 3 жыл бұрын

His ad reads are more hilarious than most people/"comics" Netflix specials.

@frogfroggyfrog2833 2 жыл бұрын

This is Tim Dillon golden era. Have listened this episode about 15 times. A fucking classic

@matthewstone1362 2 жыл бұрын

I'm also back to soak this in once more.

@ryanp6999 Жыл бұрын

@@matthewstone1362 samesies

@frwystr 3 ай бұрын

miss the good old days

@Waveydriver Ай бұрын

@@frwystrI can’t even listen to the new ep’s. These old ones are so good

@frwystr Ай бұрын

@@Waveydriver yeah new ones arw not even worth tuning into sorry piggy

@MrTYLA13 4 жыл бұрын

The fact that better help pays for an ad like this is just fantastic, brilliant work Tim

@edwardchowanes7716 4 жыл бұрын

Which Patreon tier gets me access to the bushes next door so I can yell during the next episode?

@sealevelbear 4 жыл бұрын

A bag of plasma a month

@briang9386 3 жыл бұрын

The Epstein tier

@portlandgoose4727 3 жыл бұрын

Presenting him Hilary Clinton's head impaled on a stake would probably do the trick for Timmy

@LadyDemo 5 ай бұрын

Yes!!!😂

@ShaneMclane-PrivateEye 10 ай бұрын

I was addicted to heroin and eventually fentanyl for years up until may 5th of this year. I got hit by a 2001 BMW going 50 mph and woke up a month later. Another month of learning to walk again and im out of the hospital. So if your struggling with opiate addiction and cant quit, just get hit by a car, if you live through it you come out clean... it sucked crapping in a bed pan and having a nurse wipe my ass for over a month but it sure beats being dope sick in the Santa Ana central jail. No brainer.

@bradleythebuilder8743 6 ай бұрын

Brah, that’s fucking righteous dude. I was in your same boat except I didn’t get hit by a car and it took me ten years of fits and starts to finally actually quit. You are the man, I hope you are doing well and loving life. Good luck my guy

@bbluva20 5 ай бұрын

Life in the big city.

@rawn9234 4 ай бұрын

Big city living

@frwystr 3 ай бұрын

im glad the year of the car was included

@Kzander-ne4yw 2 ай бұрын

Hey dude are ya still clean or relapsed? Hello from Poland!

@billytitus1519 7 ай бұрын

Please get back together.

@bbluva20 5 ай бұрын

Cry more. Go watch Ben's podcast if you love him so much.

@frwystr 3 ай бұрын

@@bbluva20dont be so angry

@LazyRare 13 күн бұрын

True

@Vmh1717 4 жыл бұрын

This dude captures the north east so well. It’s so so hilarious

@Maizyspringer 4 жыл бұрын

Judge: you’re still looking at 40 years Tekashi: you can flank the Spartans if you take this goat path

@segamegadrive3903 4 жыл бұрын

@BlastinRope 4 жыл бұрын

Kek

@kingheart9555 3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@alexleonard9052 3 жыл бұрын

Unforgivable

@cg5701 4 жыл бұрын

Crazy lady in the bushes thrashing around.......... life in the big city.

@ericloyd6318 4 жыл бұрын

Joyce Rey

@ICUP570 3 жыл бұрын

100% accurate

@theguythatcould 3 жыл бұрын

What I love about this show is that you can go back and watch the older stuff and still funny.

@jeanbabtisteclamence3018 4 жыл бұрын

Tim Dillon is a fucking lighthouse of clarity, sanity and mother fucking exacting honesty. A palate cleanser, in a world that desperately needs one.

@Notgayjustretarded 2 жыл бұрын

Coming back to these episodes in 2022 is so important. Tim has been at this for years and all of the content she’s so well. Congrats to Tim and Ben for the success they have here in 2022.

@scottgilmour8312 2 жыл бұрын

"I wouldn't advertise a product on this show that wasn't a scam" The honesty speaks to me, shame my fake therapist doesn't

@SuperHoneyOil 4 жыл бұрын

Looking skinny from that alcohol sugar diarrhea. Proud of you Tim.

@JackNoman 4 жыл бұрын

stevia is the healthiest artifical sweetener and it's actually way better for u than any other sugar substitute

@OffGridInvestor 3 жыл бұрын

@@JackNoman you're right. I grew stevia and if you get a leaf and dry it for 3 days THEN sit it on your tounge and gently nibble..... the sweetness nearly blows your head off! It's strange to experience sweetness stronger than sugar.

@OffGridInvestor 3 жыл бұрын

I honestly can't even taste the sweetness in erythirol.

@THEG4MINGLEGEND 4 жыл бұрын

Underrated comedian Underrated podcast I'm sure you will make it soon Much love from Saudi Arabia !

@T.I.M.Thirteen 4 жыл бұрын

Naif MS He’s “made it” already by being one of the best to ever hold a mic, it’s only a matter of time before the rest of the world realizes it.

@blazedandconfused477 4 жыл бұрын

Mate, can't you get your people to fund Tim so he can subvert the US government and media more effectively? I feel like there's a lot of potential here.

@MasterTrickShot 4 жыл бұрын

Blazed and Confused glad somebody said it. There’s a hell of an opportunity here. Eventually get him in the Trump 2028 cabinet too. If it’s hell I want hell with a splash of excitement

@bev_buntu4674 4 жыл бұрын

@@blazedandconfused477 they throw people like Tim off of buildings in his country

@blazedandconfused477 4 жыл бұрын

@@bev_buntu4674 So how about, instead of throwing him off a rooftop, throw him at your enemies.

@fastcornbread 4 жыл бұрын

The commercials are so ridiculously long. I love it.

@bullmoosemedia 3 жыл бұрын

If it is funny, you can say whatever you want. 😎😝

@joshlockie9285 4 жыл бұрын

Better Help wants to get rid of Tim but since he’s their main source for clients they’re going to let it ride.

@joanna9856 Жыл бұрын

😂❤

@SnozberriesTasteLikeSnozberrys 8 ай бұрын

"Wanna do something stupid? Call BETTER HELP, they'll getcha goin.." 😂

@tamhas 4 жыл бұрын

I just wanted to say thank you. I've burned through your videos in the last couple months and it's helped keep me sane. Thank you for the laughs. "Little rona'" was the best video of 2020 imho

@elektrotehnik94 2 жыл бұрын

Lil' Rona skeet: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/gciGpbmTvsuUeIk.html

@MrPeaves01 4 жыл бұрын

Tim is what happens when a man of the world becomes an American.

@alyssamw06 2 жыл бұрын

I am dying laughing! This has got to be one of the best episodes EVER!

@bigfoot7688 4 жыл бұрын

The way this guy does his sponsors are insane lol.

@leorickt.9604 4 жыл бұрын

Listen to cumtown

@ponderingimbecile4775 2 жыл бұрын

I wonder if shakeology every advertised again

@AngelasAnythingShow 3 жыл бұрын

me screaming focaccia and naan in my house for 30 min. and yes unleavened bread is matza. and yes i know this ep is a year old.

@cargocultpod 3 жыл бұрын

lmaooo I was screaming baguette

@irabernstein 3 жыл бұрын

banana bread!

@mrinfinitemonkeycage5668 2 жыл бұрын

Yes I know this reply is a year old but it screams Pig fandom

@davidk.8434 2 жыл бұрын

Matzah is unleavened, but so are tortillas

@TheSpeakeasily 6 ай бұрын

I always come back to this episode. This was peak Tim Dillon.

@skreign 4 ай бұрын

It's in the favorites playlist for sure

@jamezdean113 10 ай бұрын

I come back and watch these porch episodes in important moments of life. Helps me to reflect

@stellar7760 4 жыл бұрын

Tim looking like a whole (Keto friendly) snack!

@madsketcher 4 жыл бұрын

Get your grubby convict hands off of my Keto Torpedo!

@FUTANTCOLLECTIVE 4 жыл бұрын

So sick of Covid I just wanna watch Tim Dillon eps from last year all day

@pancraseash9002 3 жыл бұрын

Each episode is like a flawless special ? Wow its fucking impressive

@chrisswinney1319 4 жыл бұрын

Tim, I can’t thank you enough for the advice. I have been canceling my family members who don’t understand the grind and do not hustle. My life has become better ever since.

@ICUP570 7 ай бұрын

The best Tim Dillon eps are on the porch.

@TheRealJDC 3 жыл бұрын

Tim: "I don't even *like* sourdough" Ben: *shakes head*

@jake_adlay_24s90 Ай бұрын

Underrated comment

@adanbravo4722 3 жыл бұрын

I’m sure somebody already said this but Tim’s love for funerals is straight out of Fight Club

@kushfrancis37 2 жыл бұрын

Tim paints with words as do all the greats.

@leoncort2344 2 жыл бұрын

When you're creasing at an advert more than other comedian's thought out comedy - you know Tim is the real authentic deal.

@Nematodeparty 4 жыл бұрын

That funeral rip was gold. "In LA they have yoga retreats--in NY we had funerals"

@bradleykyle6493 4 жыл бұрын

🤣 Just watched 2 bears 1 cave, they spent 20min talking about different peanut butter.

@christianleech5772 2 жыл бұрын

These are truly the best ever. His new stuff is still good but these are another level

@airsign1012 4 жыл бұрын

1:13:57 I'll allow it, I'm not thrilled with it.." 😂

@jeffmckone7938 3 күн бұрын

I literally looked at this comment right as he said it. Bread sticks.. What a basic bitch 😂

@SeaOrcRonnie 4 жыл бұрын

Could you imagine Tim trying to recruit you for beach body? I'd shut up through the whole pitch just to hear him talk.

@CedricWilliams67 4 жыл бұрын

Just recently discovered the Tim Dillon from tin foil. Holy hell he is hilarious. About to go on a dillon binge.

@vdr3846 3 жыл бұрын

I thought I was the only one who felt this way about funerals.

@BostonBlues 4 жыл бұрын

The whole time I was screaming banana bread

@patsansone8971 4 жыл бұрын

One of my fav episodes with Tim randomly ranting about some obnoxious woman yelling the n word lol

@johnnydubz3296 2 жыл бұрын

As someone who watches to mutch Tim Dillon the funeral bit gets me every time

@andthenwhat9603 3 ай бұрын

I always start my day with a td podcast. It's honestly the only way i can get going since i can't have oxys anymore

@burnsplasticbags04 3 жыл бұрын

It’s great to see Jeffrey Dahmer has gone on to have a pretty successful career as a producer for this show.

@E-Nigma_ Жыл бұрын

The accuracy.

@dirtdirtdirtiest9607 4 жыл бұрын

Me screaming at the screen during the bread-off "NAAN. NAAN.NAAN BREAD."

@theonlyguiltymaninshawshan7909 3 жыл бұрын

Tim's right. Funerals ARE great. One a month would be ideal for my needs.

@jamesmurphy8530 4 жыл бұрын

You look thin what have you been doing? “Take a seat”

@karlwithakcomedy 3 жыл бұрын

1:11:00 Did Tim almost predict the capitol building breech? 😂

@sublimelove23 3 жыл бұрын

Lets be honest, it was a long time coming, and im shocked it never happened before

@flying_rat 3 жыл бұрын

Tim Dillon predicted everything

@AlexanderStoinis 2 жыл бұрын

Little did we know, but this was the best Tim of all time.

@brencelt 4 жыл бұрын

Producer Ben is hilarious as a straight man to TDs crazy rants 🔥❤️

@stellar7760 4 жыл бұрын

Can I book you to speak at my funeral?

@ProfessorImbakeXBoomshaka 4 жыл бұрын

To show you're serious you have to disown someone you love

@WitzyZed 4 жыл бұрын

“I’m not saying it’s good! It’s *bad*.. It’s very sad, life is.. a meaningless nightmare”

@stellar7760 4 жыл бұрын

G G I’m actually introducing Shakeology to my family this weekend...

@jameswieczorek4239 4 жыл бұрын

Stellar Celeste what an excellent idea.

@howhigh0521 3 жыл бұрын

I would love to see Tim’s heart rate during these podcasts 😂

@paulfroelich1024 4 жыл бұрын

"Only for snitching" that's a great description of social media.

@valve_is_better294 2 жыл бұрын

Can only picture my dad’s funeral and wake, this episode helps me reflect sometimes

@CH-ml4rz 4 жыл бұрын

PERFECT TIMING. Good morning from Denmark

@rayn_0ff 4 жыл бұрын

Yep perfect timing for Europe ☕

@Daingerous1 4 жыл бұрын

Jensen here, much love you Scandi

@xandermander6035 2 жыл бұрын

Tim taking mini-breaks to yell at the lady across the way is one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed😂😂 like 9:55

@RoosterOvenMittz6969 Жыл бұрын

My cat has alot of wisdom in his face, therefore, he's better than staring at the wall. I learned this today, thanks Tim

@lizbrauer3374 4 жыл бұрын

with covid, I have the luxury of watching Timmy all day long, between diarrhea and vomiting

@graydays710 4 жыл бұрын

Feeling so great for Tim. Looking great racking up a quick 15k KZfaq views. Crushing it

@ross7668 7 ай бұрын

Going back to watch Tim Dillon episodes is the best entertainment you’ll ever have Absolute comedy gold and it doesn’t matter a fecken iota what year it is Absolute genius 👏

@professionalpacktaxer 4 ай бұрын

just started peeping this podcast, always heard of tim dillon saying crazy wild shit but wouldnt think it would be gettin me thru the day at my early ass job at 5am😂appreciate you bro

@michaelhallen2808 3 жыл бұрын

My Mom was a Tupperware lady. Wasn't exactly a scam,but her almost religious fervor for quality plastic containers was rather strange.

@isaactuuri6488 2 жыл бұрын

tim dillon 2024

@Tfwd1891 3 жыл бұрын

I grew up on the island n parents always talked about the “Van” always had my head on a swivel playing outside😂😂😂

@nerdcity 4 жыл бұрын

Was the bread-off the keto version of forcing a cellmate to tell you dirty stories?

@ishaanchopra956 3 жыл бұрын

Can someone bail me out? kzfaq.info/get/bejne/hp-Vg5Z4uNG7XYk.html

@elektrotehnik94 2 жыл бұрын

@@ishaanchopra956 tf is the video?

@truerambler 2 жыл бұрын

Ben received a thrashing on this on. The one thing I will say, the kid is tougher than most of the listeners 😂

@dkelly387z Жыл бұрын

I've watched this episode 3 times now just because of the bush lady! 🤣

@tini_mg33 4 жыл бұрын

I listen to your show even when I’m walking in public and always burst out laughing...

@kalijuri 3 жыл бұрын

i find myself watching old podcasts. free from tyranny talk. it is so nice to be back in time when the world was just regular fucked up and conversations were wide and fun.

@OpethTheater3 3 жыл бұрын

You can run, but you can’t hide

@kalijuri 3 жыл бұрын

@@OpethTheater3 i don't hide from cocksuckers. i am sovereign.

@ArticulateDegenerate 4 ай бұрын

2024 and looking for almost anything pre-2020

@drewmania6034 4 жыл бұрын

Alex Jones and Chris Farley made a baby and named it Tim Dillon

@blakem000 4 жыл бұрын

"The point is I have contempt for all you, and I should just start doing garbage!"

@CERBERUS1O8 2 жыл бұрын

I never thought I'd be screaming focaccia bread at my phone but here we are....

@zugzwang742 4 жыл бұрын

Ben makes me happy.

@scottdavis4439 3 жыл бұрын

Could you imagine sitting across from this guy during an interview? "So, what experience do you have in xyz?" "Well.... (90 minutes later). But you know, let me really tell ya about...."

@adamgardener8624 3 жыл бұрын

I have been listening to these so much lately that now the voice in my head sounds like Tim's voice.

@nerdelf3704 3 жыл бұрын

One of the greatest episodes

@waynebunch9167 Жыл бұрын

I miss these episodes

@917nyc 11 ай бұрын

watching this for the first time felt insane

@johnmcleod4921 3 жыл бұрын

You make a broken sole actuly feel laughter thanks tim

@michaelpaiva9924 Жыл бұрын

" we are separated thankfully by a HEDGE "...😂😂😂

@hv_fp8372 3 жыл бұрын

Tim's reaction after Ben says 'potato bread' might be the funniest part of the episode.

@shantavetyan4053 2 жыл бұрын

“I don’t rat.” -Tim Dillon

@UnlockedWish Жыл бұрын

The crazy lady made this my fav episode lol

@scottt5181 2 жыл бұрын

I’m a personal trainer and a lady tried to sell me on beach body. I had no idea what it was at the time. Once I heard her pitch I explained to her what a pyramid scheme was. She didn’t get it.