This may be the best segment I have ever seen on Breaking Points. The guest was brilliant at being politically neutral.

As a young white male who grew up in California without a dad, I've NEVER heard someone more perfectly encapsulate how I feel. Book = sold

This guy is gonna be the villain in Olivia Wilde's next movie 😂

Men's Rights Advocates have been talking about these issues for decades and called misogynists for it.

It is shocking how just talking about males struggling immediately pisses so many people off.

Any parent with a boy (especially an "active" boy) has seen this play out in school. My family took drastic measures. Wife quit job, moved away from suburbs, started homeschooling our sons. The difference in our boys is palpable. They are thriving more than I could have imagined. We're making far less money, have a smaller house, older cars...but our family happiness, quality time, and lifestyle makes me feel undeservingly blessed. Our boys are out in the woods everyday climbing trees and testing beyond their grade level. Homeschooling is the answer for some families. Best of luck to all you parents raising the next generation of men. May we all succeed!

Probably my favourtite segment ever done on this show, this guy absolutely nailed it. If only everyone could watch this 20 minute video, we'd all be a lot better off

I would love to hear the stat on how many women have a desire to do what it takes to be a CEO in the first place.

There is an African proverb that “A child rejected by a village will burn it to the ground in order to feel it’s warmth.” Being kind and compassionate to others should not be viewed as weakness or sympathy, but as a wise investment in the future of humanity.

The oddest part of this conversation is when women try to burn it down. It's not about tearing women down, it's about bringing men back up, and it benefits everyone.

Man! This interview was so reminiscent for me of classic public broadcast news interviews, wherein the intelligence of the audience was respected, non-sensational, and the professionalism is top notch! This clip more than any other makes me want to become a breaking points subscriber.

As a male teaching in elementary school for the past 13 yrs. I firmly believe we need more boys and girls only elementary schools. They're just so different at that age, and yes girls are much more mature and able to sit still and focus in a classroom setting at those young ages. We need more male only academies with a curriculum focused first and foremost on the development and control of the body, as that seems to be what most of my male students struggle with. They just have so much pent up energy, and technology exacerbates the problem because it's fundamentally a cerebral form of engagement. Boys and girls by and large don't move their bodies enough, and it's especially debilitating for our young men. Male only academies could have a curriculum that allows more outside time, mandatory team building activities that focus on physicality. Mandatory participation in a sport. Everyday would start with calisthenics and a yoga style isometric control of movement and mindfulness. Trust me, this would solve many of the problems that are plaguing our young men in this increasingly sedentary world.

Krystal and Saagar, this is probably one of the most important interviews you've ever done. This is the result of labeling one group bad/privileged and everyone else as their victims, but without solving the actual problem (and creating new ones). From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

It's so frustrating to hear such casual sexism against boys, even when trying to help them. The idea that literally giving quotas for women, having overwhelmingly female teachers and creating behavior standards based on female behavior and drugging a generation of boys with adderall "leveled the playing field" and girls are just better is so infuriating.

For me, school was always hard because it required reading books and trying to imagine from words rather than hands on. I found that if I was to do something instead of being shown how to do it, that I'd catch on and retain the information much quicker and I'd excel at it better than most people would.

As a single guy in Canada, I have paid my share of taxes. I get no real benefits or right offs like others do. But, when it comes time to get help I get bare minimum if anything, nothing is geared to help single males. They take on all burden but end up with no benefits. From shelters to housing to food banks!

Thank you for covering this. I keep telling people, this is one of the least talked about yet most alarming topics of our time. A world that makes men feel they have no story is a world that risks driving lonely depressed men to extremism, and we all know the dark roads where that thinking leads.

My whole life it's been about empowering women and disempowering men. Can't call that an equal playing field. We need to find an equilibrium if we don't want society to collapse.

‘Why should women care how men are doing in society?’ Imagine that question with the sexes flipped. The response difference would be night and day.

Get more women into congress? Did he suddenly forget that they are chosen by election? That’s the most moronic comment I’ve heard this week.

I don't agree with *a lot* of what Andrew Tate (or Jordan Peterson) says, but there is a reason he was so popular online, his words were resonating with a lot of young men who felt that they were not appreciated and had no real place or worth in our society that was constantly shitting on them for being heterosexual men. The top 1% of Americans is all anyone focuses on as an example of toxic men or men who abuse their power and position...Most everyday men are just trying to get by and make sense of all of this.

Part of what bothers me is people who are concerned about young boys are labelled incels, and the boys themselves are getting called these nasty names too. Name calling is not going to help matters, and it will simply make boys more aggressive and socially isolated.

Please start doing more expert interviews, at least a couple a week. It really is where you two shine the brightest.

This was a very interesting discussion. I'd say one of the best pieces you've done.

One thing Americans have to wrap their head around is that men and women having a different role in a relationship is not incompatible with equality. You can both be equal and be filling a different role. Different does not = less than.

My 6yr old son is extremely smart, learned multiplication at age 4 just through conversations with me. He does the math in his head. He was not emotionally ready for kindergarten last year so we homeschooled him and didn't make him do much but learn what he was interested in. He's not in first grade, going to school and he's doing really well emotionally and is able to follow the rules. I'm a mental health clinician and I prioritized his social emotional development first and I think this has helped tremendously. I refused to believe he was a bad boy and needed punishment. I worked on development instead. He's just barely learning to read but he's much more interested and willing than he was last year.

Bringing-up boys to be masculine men who are NOT toxic, sociopathic, or predatory is a huge chore….the fault of parents is that they fail far too often than they succeed.

I'm feeling much better about keeping my son back one more year before starting kindergarten. My girls are on the young end for their grade school year but I never questioned if they were ready and have done just fine. My son who is born right on the cut off could have been pushed in but it didn't feel right and I decided to start him next year. It can be hard sometimes to trust your instincts when parents are so pressured to "get their kids ahead in the game". Glad to see someone proposing some solutions to these problems.

The only thing the cultural establishment offers young men is open disdain at best and concern trolling over toxic masculinity at worst

I think valuing physical labor more would help too. Just because someone is working with their body and not their mind doesn't mean they should be valued any less.

A fairly large percentage of men have come to the conclusion that in today's society the classic marriage and family paradigm is no longer working for them and have decided to quietly opt out.

My experience as a male engineer (graduated University 2015) and into the beginning portion of my career highlighted what I would describe as an over-correction for female inclusion. My experiences are my own and obviously anecdotal to the conversation, but relevant nonetheless. Throughout college, I noticed a heavy emphasis on assistance to females unequal to that offered to my male peers. My engineering college had free tutoring centers which I attended weekly... only to get passed over time and time again while the tutor made their rounds tending to each female, sometime multiple-times, before myself or other male classmates could get a question in. Class office hours were generally short and much of the allotted time was spent with the professors running out the clock helping my female peers. When it came time for internships, nearly all my female peers landed offers as freshmen and sophomores... The majority of my males classmates weren't so lucky - many not receiving offers till their Junior year if at all. Once in the work force, many of my female colleagues advanced at faster rate than their equivalently performing male peers. Lesser performing female colleagues survive while their male equivalents are laid-off (as they should). The list goes on.... That said, I work with many incredible female engineers. I am not downplaying their aptitude or denying their legitimacy... but neglecting a gender for the sake of inclusivity seems like a counter productive approach. For the past 10 years there has been a push for women in STEM, every poster in college had a smiling female engineer front-and-center, many textbooks/college pamphlets had the same... every career fairs had women highlighted at nearly each booth, and in the workplace we celebrate "Women in Engineering Day"... don't hold your breathe for "Men in Engineering Day" haha. Point is - women are in engineering - and its normal. But at what point does the hand on the scale recognize that there are two sides and ignoring one in pursuit of the other may not be the best approach. The men I know in the profession are incredible, some brilliant, they've toughed it through engineering school, they pay their student loans, they work hard, still put in the time to hone their craft, and building incredible products absent the daily recognition. Maybe its time to appreciate both.

As a therapist, I cannot tell you how much I appreciated this discussion. I have seen so many men/boys in my office that struggle immensely with their self worth. Especially when they aren't able to fill those typical male roles of providers/protectors. They blame themselves and mental health is another area that men struggle with partially because of our society. Loved this discussion and will probably buy that book as well

I guess the new script for males could be something along the lines of: “You’re more than just a breadwinner. Let’s celebrate fatherhood and good things men do.”

More of this. As a dad who watches his son raised from a distance, this hit home. It’s not my choice to be where I am but here I am. The struggle is real

I don't think people understand how truly bad it is unless you're a young man yourself. Men do not show emotion the same way as women, but spend time in a group of any young men and you will quickly see how full of directionless despair they are in, through no fault of their own. And I'm not talking about the minority of "loser" men, those have existed in every generation. I mean the average young man who did everything right, and like Richard said, there is no new script for them, and they are staring into an abyss of uncertainty, with no roadmap, while society screams down their neck that they are privileged and have everything handed to them. The levels of this are society breaking. Something's got to give. Thank you Richard for this book, and Breaking Points for covering it.

2 points that I've noticed: 1. By college, girls are about 2 years ahead of boys. I went to a small college, and you could see how individuals of different age entering college did. 16 year old girls (there were a few) and 18 year old boys entering as freshmen were mostly, but not always, not quite ready to succeed. 18 year old girls and 20 year old guys were mostly, but not always, ready to succeed in college. 2. Men take more risks. If you take a risk the ceiling for achievement is higher, as is the chance of failure. Of course men are going to show up at the very top levels of achievement, but they also show up more often as complete failures. The bell curve is flatter for men: more complete successes and more abject failures.

White America are getting a wake up call. All of these things were talked about in 60s & 70s w/LBJ, Patrick Moinihan, and feminism and again during the 90s Clinton welfare reform days. All of those policies on custody, paternity, and gender went ignored because it was seen as a black problem. Now with widespread divorce and single motherhood in other communities, the country is seeing the same results in education and success for their boys that were only familiar with black boys. They’re seeing the neglect from mothers, high school, the academy, and result that it has on young boys.

The failures of the education system does not call for a “new definition of masculinity.” It calls for reforming the education system.

It is not that women are better at education but that the education system is skewed in favour of women. The system needs to be fixed and made fair to men as well.

There are many complexities in this issue, and I was emotionally awakened by a simple truth this weekend while watching my young cousins (4-6 years old) play together. There is a perceivable truth that boys must be allowed to be boys or, at least, be in an environment of other boys. Boys, when let loose and unbound, are inherently aggressive, loud, destructive, rambunctious, painfully curious, and many a times a nuisance. However, the discouragement of these attributes has indeed led to a society of men not being fostered well, for all of these attributes can be channeled in to something GOOD. Boys can also be protective, confident, creative, intelligent, innovative, strong leaders or moral character, and dangerous in the face of evil, both physically and morally. Our current society, especially in our education systems, has placed a negative stigma on these inherent traits and chose to penalize them, rather than to foster them. Many of our educators, parents, and leaders would rather have boys behave like girls, rather than put in the work to foster boys to men. A strong man is now considered toxic. There may be some validity to this! As a young man who abhorred fraternity culture, I can assure you, what some boys deem a man is absolutely toxic. This is partly because the modern man is yet to be defined, and many boys are falling prey to the societal harm of abandonment and empty purpose. Many boys growing up today, unfortunately don't know what a strong man is. Some may never find out.

I've been noticing this for a while now and I'm really glad to see you all having a discussion about this. I work in higher ed in the Education space (preparing new teachers) and the pendulum has swung well past the equilibrium... The rise in popularity of voices like Andrew Tate should be no surprise.

I think the gap in female CEOs and leadership can be explained in the different ways narcissism and psychopathy presents in the sexs. It's less about the glass ceiling and more about what are you willing to do to get to that level. At this point I would have more respect for you if you didn't want to be a CEO.

I am always blown away by the consistent outstanding quality of the segments on this channel. I have been a fan since the HIll

One item they didn’t touch on here that is very unintentional result of this trend is that with more women going to college and less men going to college it shrinks the dating pool for women, because college grads will typically only date/marry other college grads. I’m not saying women shouldn’t be going to college, but it is an interesting, unintentional consequence that appears will only get worse as this trend continues.

I’ve been saying this for years but kept getting called a misogynist and a MRA (Being an MRA isn’t a bad thing. It’s just that this term is often used to mean women hatred) for simply pointing this out. Then you’d get derailed with dismissive laughs (“oh yeah men have it reaaaaly hard! Boo hooo!”) and the conversation pulled away towards talking about patriarchy and how it affects women. edit: I do disagree a little with what the guy said at parts. My agreement is more to do with the video title.

Thank you for covering this. Men are being shamed and forgotten. Many of us feel we are expendable. Thank you for talking about father's. I am a dad and the court system has treated me as dirt despite my providing and giving time. Feminism is a lie.

I held my son back a year in elementary school (mainly he was small) , it was hard for him as his friends moved on. It worked out very well, he was larger and could play sports and more mature and better focus than the boys he was with after the change.

Appreciate someone taking the focus off women for once and a non-bias discussion about men. Well done!

All of them hit the nail on the head with this. If equality is going to be preached, then it actually needs to be equal, not only when it's convenient, part of the narrative or status quo

As a left leaning guy I've been trying to be a positive role model for younger men. Preaching things like education and empathy. The idea of going back in time is, as far as I'm concerned, comes from fear of feeling like you have no place. Cuz that's my issue. I'm fighting to prove my worth despite not finishing college.

Nothing here about women increasingly becoming the breadwinner but still expecting a husband to make more than them as providers. Less and less men are now in a woman’s pool of potential mates, which means women are slowly classing themselves into having no options for a mate.

I grew up not having a father in the house. Trust me, it makes a difference whether you're a boy or a girl.

8:30 Recruiting drive for male teachers? Sadly, this is an out-of-touch take. We have an ongoing and increasingly tragic *Teacher* shortage in general because our society doesn't value them as anything more than daycare, and they just aren't choosing that line of work any more. Saying we are going to recruit "Male" teachers like that's even a choice on the table is depressing to hear discussed as a reasonable option.

As far as education "being more important for females" I agree with. Your options as a female are limited without a college eduction. I work in a manufacturing and where I'm at women are rarely hired on floor jobs ( maybe 5 in the 18 years working there, none in my department.) For a woman it's fastfood, nursing, or nothing. Culture is the problem.

The educational field is not level: boys learn differently than girls, but the structure of education tilts toward the tendencies of girls.

“Just look down. Look at the rest of society” something people in Hollywood, media, DC, and 60k/yr universities are incapable of doing

One of my absolute favorite YT channels is the Outdoor Boys. A fairly young father to 3 boys showing them how to be boys. I love to see them be loud, curious, risky, and dirty. To many women are raising boys without a father, for whatever reason, and those boys are filling in the gap for whatever mom needs. Fathers need to step up and mothers need to let them.

Reflecting on my own upbringing as a Gen Xer, I've noticed something interesting. There seemed to be a strong emphasis on women receiving education, not necessarily as a tool for personal development, but more as a means of ensuring independence. It's as if our parents feared that without an education, we women might end up being overly dependent on the men in our lives. Interestingly, practical skills like cooking were not emphasized as much as they were for some of my friends from other generations. Perhaps this was an unintentional byproduct of the drive to push women towards academics and professional life. The thought process may have been that if we were taught to cook, we might end up only cooking for men. Despite not being taught to cook, I managed to learn on my own and have come to enjoy it. It's worth noting that learning such practical skills should not be viewed as a setback to our independence but rather as a way to be self-reliant.

Gilligan was writing about the crisis of boys back in the 1990s...but just like today, no one listened.

Although my perspective is just anecdotal, the aspect of education becoming more important for girls than boys is incredibly true. I know many families that basically require it for their daughters and the boys are just left to their own accord and doesn't really matter. Such a massive shift just in my lifetime!

I think this is a great segment. I'd also like to say as the female breadwinner in my family, I hate being the breadwinner. And my husband not being the breadwinner is not because my husband is lazy or anything. He works very hard, 6 days a week, sometimes he is gone from 8 in the morning until 11 pm. But then he works for his family and their professions don't bring in the money.

This is a fantastic introspective. Will definitely be buying this man's book and will read it will great interest. Thank you Krystal & Saagar for continuing to bring in such rich & worthwhile content on your channel.

7:31 “We need a model of mature masculinity that is compatible with gender equality.” That’s the quote we need.

Hands down one of the BEST interviews ever done on this channel.

It's so absurd to think that all that they did was "level the playing field"

In my PhD cohort, all 7 of us are women. In my master’s cohort it was probably 3/4 women. In my undergrad Chem department the majority of the students were women, and yet there wasn’t a women’s bathroom in the chemistry department because when the building was built in the 50s, women didn’t do the hard sciences...😮 This shift in the education gap is very obvious across all levels. And I’m seeing it more and more with my undergrad students as well.

It isn't just "American society" that has this "issue" with the traditional male role as the breadwinner and provider of the house, that has been the way throughout human history. For the most part, Men are wired to be the provider. We always forget that we are animals, more specifically, apes. Watch any nature documentary featuring apes and chimps and you are what the roles are. We as humans are always trying to rewrite our nature. Why? I was once ok to be the "beta" to my soon to be ex wife's "alpha" position in my family. But once I came into my own as a man, the dynamics changed and instead of evolving and negotiating our new positions in our marriage, my wife quit. Stop trying to down play the negative effects of feminism either. There's even more nuance to this conversation than in those segment.

The best thing I did was sign up my son for a youth wrestling club. I did wrestling and it taught me discipline. It also forced me to do well in school to participate in tournaments. I ended up getting an Honors Scholarship when I went to college that payed for everything. I wouldn't have gone otherwise. It's important for men and boys to participate in masculine activities and spaces.

In a world in which the phrase "Third Way" has become something of a slur, I think Reeves is putting forth a reasonable Third Way. Once the porridge was too hot, now it is too cold, . . . One thing that Reeves did not mention that ought to change is our divorce/child custody laws, which are unbelievably antiquated in their notions, unfavorable to men, and, in my opinion, the cause of many men falling into an "I can't win, so why try" attitude.

I think when it comes to girls, the changing definition of feminism and the changing attitude toward masculinity has turned them off for the same reasons, i.e. calling masculinity toxic and trying to relegate men to a passive role. A girl may scream about that at a protest when she's 20, but when she is ready to have children, she wants a man that can protect, defend, care, fix things, etc. Not everyone works that way, but id say at least 75 percent of 30 year old women want a traditional, masculine man. And boys are being taught to bow their heads in shame and subjugate themselves, and women and society will embrace them. That will not end well.

Statements like “most men today earn less than they did in 1979” ignores that that’s true of all workers…some good points but it’s hard to see men as disenfranchised when they still hold top positions in just about every category of work life

Finally, the real news is on.

Krystal took the topic of boys and men and immediately went to the # of CEOs named Bob compared to women CEOs

"its their own fault so we shouldn't care about their issues" -feminists probably

I don’t care about parity. How about just hire or elect the most qualified person regardless of gender, sex, or race?

Are these highly educated women going to be willing to marry down?

One of the most important videos you have posted despite Krystal's immediate but not surprising knee jerk reaction and tired old feminist arguments! In the west men have less righs than women on almost every single issue we can look at! Suicide, Mental health, death on the job, death in military, family court outcome, domestic abuse investigations, false allegations... But lets talk about wage gap again and again and again...!

The current education system is NOT a level playing field. Even when I went to school my mostly female teachers put a lot more effort into ecouraging girls which meant us boys were told to sit down and shut up. If you're told your attempts to participate in your classes amount to "unfairly monopolizing the teacher's time", you stop participating. And I was lucky in that I went to school before it became commonplace to "treat" boys' need for movement with Ritalin. And there are more subtle ways in which the education system favours girls. The stories my school gave me to read were mostly aimed at girls and bored the shit out of me and my fellow boys. Force seven year olds to read stories they're bored by and they'll grow to hate reading; which is a huge problem for the remainder of their school career. Give them stories that captivate them and they'll enjoy reading, and "hitting the books" will sound a lot less daunting than it does to someone that associates with boredom other forced upon them.

You can’t talk about a disproportionate number of men at the top without addressing the disproportionate number of men at the bottom.

This guy to years to research this topic. Fantastic that he can now prove what I've been saying for at least 10 years - Feminism, or female empowerment (or any other label you want to insert) went from "women being equal" to "men are bad." It went from "I want a job and pay that is equal to yours" to "down with the patriarchy." From "I want an equal partner in our relationship" to "I am superior in the relationship and you are nothing." All of these things have in common exactly what the gentleman said, which is the social movements started off with noble causes, but after it told women they are equal, they started telling men they were bad....now men are confused and don't know what to think....there was never a replacement, just a finger wag. This gentleman is exactly correct.

6:00 Krystal’s bit about the concept of a bread winner and how not fulfilling that leads to failure and resentment towards women is SPOT ON

Title IX was passed in 1979 and by 1982 more women than men had some type of college degree. It has been 40 years since more men than women were graduating with a degree, but feminism will continue to tell you about the priveledge of men.

You don’t have to tear down people to lift other people up.

Excellent interview, someone who is actually talking sense rather than spouting partisan beliefs.

Who knew that putting the blame on someone for the past mistakes of their gender and calling them misogynists for that would have terrible conciquences of self esteem...

Brilliant segment. Thank you, this is such an important topic that has been mostly overlooked.

The best way I’ve been able to explain this to leftist women, is “we have Done a fantastic job of figuring out what is toxic in masculinity, we know what we don’t want, but we’ve done a horrible job talking about what is healthy masculinity. Can you even think of a conversation you had describing healthy masculinity? Or is this the first?”

This sounds an awful lot like what Dr Peterson has been saying for years...

If this discussion were being held live in front of an audience, someone would have pulled a fire alarm by now.

Modern women want to throw away tradition for them and still demand traditional men

"Even breaking into that paradigm is so hard without getting coded right wing." Jordan Peterson: "First time?"

Very great segment I advise everyone to watch in full

So growing up I was told by my grandfather, a white man, that in order to be successful I had to be better and not to expect sympathy from no one, if I wasn't up to par. Not to depend on anyone for help or to save me. As a matter of fact he would tell me that no one is goin to save you-you have to figure out things for yourself. I remember having a discussion with my mother regarding her stepping in and using her influence to aide me in a situation, in HS, and once I found out she stepped in I was pissed and I told her to stop stepping in, I don't need assistance and I don't need saving and in order for me to become my own man I need to learn how to solve my own problems. She begrudgingly accommodated me. My wife and I was talking to our son one day about figuring things out and resolving his own problems, of which I'm a proponent of, but my wife believes that stepping in and helping our son problem solve will serve him better, as she always states we all need help. I get it, here's the thing, the greatest life lessons I've learned and continue to learn have come through trial and error. Being the best at what I do, there's no place in this society for mediocrity and mendacity. Cream rises to the top and if you don't have what it takes to be successful then you don't earn the spoils of life. It seems to me that certain folks have an agenda to replace masculine men with masculine women, believing that it's easy being a man, oh no being a man is one of the hardest things to be in captivity because every encounter, with other men, could end in a fatality. I salute the masculine men out there because I know what it takes to create the world that you want to live in sans the false narrative that we're just not good enough. Peace.

Wow🤯🤯, this guy literally put into words what I felt and thought but didn't know how to articulate! I would often find Saagar's take had too hard of a traditional conservative take and Krystals seemed a bit too soft but as this guy spoke more and more I felt like he was living in my head. Big ups to both Krystal and Saagar for having him on and def getting the Audible of this today!

Agree with so much here. The only thing I'll add regarding to the difference in school aptitude is the nature of the average boy and girl with a school hierarchical structure. It seemed as though, in a co-ed setting, that the boys in my schools spent the majority of the class trying to outwit each other in a social way in order to impress the girls, yet the girls were pseudo spectators of the shenanigans and spent more time listening. This is not so much a maturity issue as it was a biological prevalence, with boys 'fighting' more overtly for dominance amongst their peers, which in turn hindered school work.

Today was one of my favorite episodes, thank you for having this guy on!

This was a good discussing but I think left a few things out. Generally females date up social hierarchies. There have been a number of articles in recent memory where professional class women are asking where all the good men went. Well if boys are disadvantaged in the class room and not making it in universities there will be a lack of professional class men, simple as that. Russia, if I'm not mistaken had experienced a lack of men in certain social strata and it's caused strange societal effects. So solving this is important for everyone. Secondly I want to add that feminism has lost popularity because it's not just a rights movement but also an ideology. The guest called it a cultural movement but it's more an ideology with its own lines of thought separate from the simple universalism of suffrage and opportunity. Patriarchy theory, stand point epistemology, and so on aren't needed to achieve equality under the law. When one introduces these ideological things you're no longer just asking for equal treatment rather your asking for belief.

The moment one group, ANY group, advances at the EXPENSE of another, there will be potential for chaos. It is almost inevitable.

Maybe shitting on men for the last 5-7 years wasn’t a good idea… who would have thought. Seriously tho, great video.