60 Characteristics of Complex Trauma - Part 3/33

60 Characteristics of Complex Trauma - Part 3/33 - Fear of Abandonment

Рет қаралды 144,987

3 жыл бұрын

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Abandonment is a big part of understanding Complex Trauma and it results in the fear of being abandoned again in future relationships. This can result in behaviours that prevent healthy relationships. We look at 36 attributes of the Fear of Abandonment Characteristic and ways to overcome this fear.
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Пікірлер: 375

@HenockTesfaye 9 ай бұрын

This guy is talking about me personally. He's about to call me by name

@johannaakra7464 3 ай бұрын

Adorable comment haha

@Carollori 3 ай бұрын

And me friend😭

@judyneemagichuru949 2 ай бұрын

There are many of us 😢

@Stephiroth88 2 ай бұрын

Nah don't worry . Pretty sure he's talking to me. 😂

@Ngan.marianguyen 2 ай бұрын

Right?? Its like he can see right thru the screen thru my body, bones and blood deep into my heart who i am!!😢😢

@desigirlincanada_pg 3 ай бұрын

5 minutes into the video and I am already in tears, it’s like someone is saying for the first time what I have kept inside me for 30 years

@JakeelSingleton-tj5jw 8 ай бұрын

I'm finally talking to a therapist to fix these issues. I realize I could never be right for anyone because of these deep rooted issues. I hope everyone reading this overcomes

@LOVEISTRUTH300 4 ай бұрын

Tim is a blessing. Don't forget that a trauma informed therapist is better informed about complex trauma than a normal therapist. Sending you LOVE and healing💖💖💖

@JPlayz_GG 4 ай бұрын

I would say that you need to be a little easier on yourself too tho. If someone truely loves you they will accept you for your flaws as well

@user-zk2mk1np2rzlambchopu 3 ай бұрын

May you 💕 also find some JOY and peace

@brittjohnson8053 3 ай бұрын

You are whole and worthy of love just as you are right now. Even if you can't see it or believe it, it is true. Take it from someone who used to be where you are.

@gonefishing976 2 ай бұрын

👍

@karenwallace227 3 жыл бұрын

This was super hard to watch, but explains more to me than a hundred textbooks! Thank you Tim, I cried the whole way through and know now I can heal from this.

@Mrstrikerace 2 жыл бұрын

Yes, very helpful but very hard too. So much loss to grieve

@SaiGoNDraGoN Жыл бұрын

I thought I was the only one that cried listening to this

@kevo45601 5 ай бұрын

This is my biggest issue. Now looking for ways to work on healing this

@radzhurl8711 4 ай бұрын

Absolute Courage and boldness Karen. ❤

@radzhurl8711 4 ай бұрын

I've been thru that lots of extreme courage to you❤.

@vanshitasingh4523 3 ай бұрын

I can't believe this is available for free, thanks a ton!

@charliesomoza5918 3 ай бұрын

Sadly this is so common.Apparently the world is rotten and sick. Stay strong and take care of yourself.God bless you all.

@mikee5718 2 ай бұрын

I had a good childhood upbringing and after 2 tours in Iraq and Afghanistan as a 68W and then a reclass 11B…this man has done more for me than the VA. Thank you.

@BlessedHope7.7.7 Ай бұрын

🕊️🦅

@calvink7382 3 ай бұрын

The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters

@chirazbenabdelkader7294 12 күн бұрын

Spot on

@cynthiameyers7529 3 ай бұрын

This is the best talk on abandonment I have ever heard.

@capnobvious2718 2 ай бұрын

This fella is truly gifted. Ive read so many books on this topic but he explains so perfectly it finally makes sense.

@pippilotta3511 22 күн бұрын

Absolutely! And he isn’t even a psychologist. Or maybe BECAUSE he isn’t a psychologist he just has this special gift and didn’t spoil it with “education”.

@amberscottcmt7400 3 жыл бұрын

It took me so long to identify it. I couldn't understand why I had such a deep fear of abandonment when my parents never left me and always provide my physical needs. Emotional abandonment feels insidious. It's every bit as destructive, but no one validates it like they do overt abuse. I'm glad this is being talked about.

@typower9 11 ай бұрын

Just imagine how many more people will have such trauma in the future with so many parents glued to their smartphones!

@ellejrrn8116 3 ай бұрын

Yes, the constant screen in the faces. Also, after the last few years, children isolated, away from friends, and home life stresses, as so many schools were closed (for waaay too long)… it will take a generation (or a few) to even beGIN to improve. 😞

@ayurdubey4818 Ай бұрын

The thing is you can be a good option to have in someone else's life but never a priority. Followed by your strife to change that, only worsen it. Don't open yourself so much that you are susceptible to rejection. Build a wall and start enjoying your own self, no expectations, no investments.

@KM-nq7ez 3 ай бұрын

Wow😭 every single one…. My mother killed who I might have been… at 60 years old I’m only figuring this out. Thank you.

@jonny1943 2 ай бұрын

Big hug! Never to late to make a change and live the rest of your life feeling better.

@thetinypineyfarm6145 2 ай бұрын

Me too😢

@sairaashford2243 3 күн бұрын

Me too, I'm 54 and I've been in the dark all these years. Trying this way and that to solve the puzzle. I'm so grateful I know what's going on in my head and now I can try to fix it the best I can. I want to be happy 😊

@jonny1943 3 күн бұрын

@@sairaashford2243 🤗

@yootoob1001001 3 жыл бұрын

The jumping to conclusions part can be really difficult when some of those things have actually happened and in your own mind they are real possibilities because they have. It can be very scary to risk being hurt/abandoned again.

@doratheshade 3 ай бұрын

Exactly! It's worse when there is actual real evidence. And at that point the only way of getting rid of the feeling is simply getting away from the relationship, which absolutely sucks

@suzymoroka297 2 ай бұрын

So so true! That’s the biggest dilemma for me. Some of these things have actually happened, not all in my head 🥺😢😭

@bluebonbon22 3 ай бұрын

In reality I didn't feel abandoned, I WAS abandoned 1. by birth mom, 2. abandoned by 2 foster homes(transferred to another home without warning) 3 Adopted and then after 6 years(adopted at 4 and sent to another foster home at 10) Many failed relatonships over the years, failed marriage, kids taken by ex hubby, failed friendships, the list goes on. At 76 years old, I still have to deal with these. issues.

@vidamariaixchel4962 2 ай бұрын

Same here! Abandoned by both parents, then 4 foster homes, 2 boarding schools, including sexual abuse from age 8. Nothing but failed relationships, addiction: a shit life ! Glad it will be over soon, as I’m 70. I just don’t get it why people have to go through all this shit. What’s the use? Why can’t parents love their children?

@BlessedHope7.7.7 Ай бұрын

🕊️

@user-yd1xo5do1r 29 күн бұрын

I think ,They also had the same issues that's why@@vidamariaixchel4962

@AnthonyL0401 2 жыл бұрын

32:00 Ways to connect back to yourself after you had originally abandoned yourself

@zsauffi 2 ай бұрын

Better start it here: 30:05

@AnthonyL0401 2 ай бұрын

@@zsauffidid i miss the mark? 🙂

@zsauffi 2 ай бұрын

@@AnthonyL0401 I checked your time stamp, but I believe he starts this section with an introduction at the presentation. However, I would have never got th that point if you hadnt stamped yours above, as so many times I give up on his videos after a few minues (I have misophonia, and I cannot stand the sound that he makes with his mouth after every second sentence) So thanks for your timestamp, was useful indeed 🌞

@cereal_qilla Ай бұрын

Thanks I like the list in that slide

@jazzlivee5482 4 ай бұрын

This hits so much. I’ve felt abandonment from knowing that both parents left me with a relative when I was a baby. Even though i don’t remember any memories from being left, my mind suffers abandonment till this day and it shows in my relationships. It doesn’t help that my ex fiancée broke of our engagement and said he didn’t love me anymore. Told me he was not attracted to me at one point because i had gained weight, told me i was pretty on other occasions, told me he couldn’t see a future with me …then on a different occasion told me he knows I’m great but feels he can find better. Told me he didn’t know what love is and can’t love me on a different occasion and that he needs to go explore who he is. I’ve been broken and confused and learning to pick up the pieces. Initially wanted to jump into another relationship just to numb the pain but i didn’t do it because i know i will be creating hurt for someone new. I really want to heal but it’s truly difficult. Fighting for my life each day and trying to actually believe that i have value.

@jmvwegnerpriest 3 ай бұрын

💝You do have great value! Many of us feel this way, love and courage to you!

@MrErik052005 3 ай бұрын

I’m so sorry. But he sounds awful. It sounds like “the trash took itself out”. In a healthy relationship, they will make you feel safe and valued. Love doesn’t hurt. It took me years to realize a healthy relationship is “boring”. There isn’t constant drama. Your person makes you feel safe and valued. They reassure you they aren’t going anywhere.

@Carollori 3 ай бұрын

I was placed on institution for 6 weeks before I was adopted. I believe this is the cause. Now my entire family has abandoned/erased me Because of my poor choices divorced their father and also current global mess -opposite sides. I am trying but I don’t think it will heal my relationship. 💐 to a fellow sufferer

@MindBenderMav Ай бұрын

It’s definitely a deep deep pain I know what you mean at 2:35 I still have dreams so often finding myself somewhere and that feeling of loneliness is intense. I can’t describe it but it’s an intense void painful feeling.

@karae807 2 жыл бұрын

Once again, this nails it and is SO helpful! I’m an adoptee. I’ve had abandonment issues practically my entire life. This was me to a T. I still have work to be done but I’m finally healing in my 40s. Thank you for your trauma work it’s invaluable.

@TheBillaro 8 ай бұрын

healing in my 40's too. better later than never

@frankammirati3385 4 ай бұрын

@@TheBillaro58 , it’s never to late to learn .

@BlessedHope7.7.7 Ай бұрын

🕊️🪻

@seonjamie3059 2 ай бұрын

Recently ive been trying to address this because i want to be a happy person, but ive put a lid on my sadness and coped woth disassociation. Dipping into it recently though has memories coming to me as im trying to sleep. I manage to quiet my mind enough i think ill fall asleep but ive been forced awake by memories sobbing because i can still remember exactly how i felt in many moments that made me feel unloved

@smithachandrabose2530 2 ай бұрын

I had a therapist tell me 'go back to the person in those memories--that little, scared person--and tell them "you're doing a good job taking care of yourself right now. You make it into the future! And you help yourself Thank you for getting me there, little one".'

@animalliberationCLBB 4 ай бұрын

It's horrible. Animals really help. When they die all the pain comes back😢 Thank you for the vid ❤

@jmvwegnerpriest 3 ай бұрын

💗They are our angels.

@seonjamie3059 2 ай бұрын

The family dog never chose me either, it just added to the misery for me because I was the one who would walk and play with and feed them the most and yet they always would be in my mother's lap

@soniar1ify 19 күн бұрын

I'm sorry 《❤》@@seonjamie3059

@teresa1710 6 ай бұрын

In my mind, abandoned by both parents when they divorced and then again when they met new partners who didn't want my and my sister as baggage. Then all of my relationships, my first boyfriend I would ask every week, you're going to leave me? And then he would and he'd be back. Still affects me today. An unavailable man about 10 years ago, my parting comment being, you're not there for me. My most recent partner turned to drink (my only boundary) and I felt so abandoned. This is so powerful. At 59, I'm excited for my future now. Thank you so much 🤗 This is invaluable

@jmvwegnerpriest 3 ай бұрын

💝

@sandracaezza7234 4 ай бұрын

I have decided I am deserving of this time I give to myself. I’m learning & growing now from a 24 yr marriage to someone with an addiction issue. His narcissism became overwhelming at the end. I am actually grateful for surrender & releasing myself to move into my third act of life in a new way I will always wish him the best. I have pride & integrity for the yrs we had. The most pride in me now👍🏻

@melissamarconett5307 3 ай бұрын

You give me inspiration, thank you for sharing.

@Kerrviii 2 ай бұрын

I’m proud of you! ❤

@Kerrviii 2 ай бұрын

@@melissamarconett5307same. I read this word for word. I plan to do the same. ❤

@dawn-from-the-lab 3 ай бұрын

I felt so exposed watching this. My bio-mom abandoned my 2 brothers and I after the judge awarded her custody. She told him she didn’t want us, just baby #4 and left us with our dad. I was the only one old enough to remember it happening. She only came into my life a handful of times just to try to manipulate and lie to me, then leave again for years on end. She went on to have 4 more kids with her 2nd husband. Now, I don’t even talk to my dad, those 2 brothers, and several other siblings. Protecting mine and my children’s mental health from them is more important, but these videos are showing me I still have a long way to go.

@primrosedahlia9466 2 ай бұрын

Im so sorry you had to go through that. Im glad you found the strength to go no contact. Too many people stay in dysfunctional family situations their entire life, not understanding what you said about keeping you and your kids mental health balanced. Our kids suffer as much as us by these dysfunctional people

@09ChargerRT 2 ай бұрын

Mine started at age 21, when my fiance joined the army, we got married, moved 500 miles from home, and he secretly got discharged and packed everything we owned, including my childhood possessions and moved back home. I came home from work to vacant military housing, which of course i could not stay in, so i was homeless a minute till i found a room for rent, met another soldier, married a year later, had 3 kids, lived in 3 states including hawaii, he rarely spoke to me, cheated all the time, met someone else and left me and the children, btw my 1st born is severely autistic. Now I've been divorced 20 years, swore I'd never do it again.😢 just realized the problem today, this video

@maggiesmom2007 4 ай бұрын

KZfaq showed me your account in my timeline. God does work in mysterious ways!!! My life has been a roller coaster since birth in 1962. God bless us all. 🙏🏻✝️

@oksanan.6466 3 ай бұрын

Okay, got me< i am all of these things, I already knew most of this, but no one tells how to fix this. There is no fix for this. Death, rebirth, and hope for the better childhood.

@eclipsedawn9 2 жыл бұрын

Being alone means I had to trust myself. And that was scary

@evrataylor2050 Ай бұрын

Brilliant. Got it. This so resonates with me.

@MeMe-od2mg 2 ай бұрын

You're describing pretty much my entire life!! 😢 Great way of explaining btw. Easy to understand, direct to the point and simple. I love your videos. They help me so much. I'm grateful that I’ve ran into your content. ❤

@BeholdIamaNewCreation 2 ай бұрын

Stop talking about me like this, hahaha

@whitneywhite1539 2 ай бұрын

I am so very grateful for this teaching! I pray the Lord blesses you as much as it blesses me! I’ve always wanted to understand my actions. I was an addict for 19 years but Jesus had mercy on me and now I’m free! Trauma from our childhood will manifest in adulthood.. thanks again!❤❤

@mknels1299 11 ай бұрын

Iknew I would reenact history so I chose not to marry ,have kids, I went for all the help I knew how to find,still learning

@lostjunglist8704 2 жыл бұрын

I've never heard anyone speak of my life in great detail as you. I was abandoned at 3 days old. Now at 40 yrs. old, I can feel The Universe speaking me to me daily about what I need to do to heal. My 5 yr old & I are living with her toxic father & have been unable to get away. Now I know the real reason for that (fear of abandonment) My trauma has affected my life, my child's life & other people's lives....Just b/c I never heal from it. Before The World Learders Get Us All Nuked ~ & ~ The Truth Is Proven That Aliens Are Here.....I want to heal the last half of my life so I can know what love/a true human connection could feel like....Then ONLY can I say that I lived my best life.

@JJ_c137 2 ай бұрын

I just want to say that I love that this video starts off with “Well… welcome to another Friday night.”

@AlexeyFilippenkoPlummet 2 ай бұрын

Important thing to add here - there's an evergrowing number of people in modern society that absolutely thrive in judging others of being unworthy of love, in finding fear of abandonment in others, leeching on it, proving to the suffering person that they are absolutely unworthy and will get abandoned, and in many cases even praising and encouraging bullying such people as "sub-human". So it's not just a past trauma that needs revisiting, it's the constant actualization of it through modern culture that favours bullies who are in big and growing numbers. That's the norm today.

@deborahlincoln-strange622 10 ай бұрын

cptsd has some common traits with narcissism, that's why it's so important to heal.

@chirazbenabdelkader7294 12 күн бұрын

CPTSD masquerades as narcissism because of the shared traits. I’ve come across this in several other sources

@dmoore0079 3 ай бұрын

This one really opened up my eyes. I know I had a ton of deep rooted anxiety, fear, and anger from the abuse I experienced as a child, but never realized how much abandonment affected me.

@Missme_1 2 ай бұрын

This spoke to me, being struggling with this but never had the courage you face the reason

@jennifermaxine2453 2 жыл бұрын

My parents caring for one of my daughters told me "she's too timid & insecure " that angered me so much ..that's how I was treated because I didnt perform the way my parents expected. That's so hurtful

@MrAllysonn 4 ай бұрын

Unhealthy parent expectations.

@jenjen2868 3 ай бұрын

My mom told me the same thing. She wanted me to be more like her.

@bobbritches846 3 ай бұрын

@@jenjen2868- Outgoing and secure? That's not a bad thing.

@jmvwegnerpriest 3 ай бұрын

💝She is herself and perfect.💞 It is hard I suffer from these slights also when my parents say something about our boy. Logically it doesn't make sense as I hated being their kid so much, so why take to heart their opinions but we just do. But I hold on to things I learn in presentations like these and do my utmost to love our boy as he is. Hopefully we can break this hurtful generational cycle, and our kids will feel good about themselves💖.

@corentinguillo5577 2 ай бұрын

Loving an avoidant is hard. It's a lot of work. And if you do it right, if you invest your time and energy correctly, they abandon you. And it hurts. Whats I've learned is that the avoidant is a true lost cause. Unless they have already started to work on themselves maybe. You can't form a healthy bond with someone who feels threatened by kindness. Often when you fear abandonment. You'll end up with an avoidant.

@fatherburning358 2 ай бұрын

Have been able to heal significantly from actual childhood abandonment. Being my trusted own best friend and mentor is exactly what it took. Addiction meant i couldnt trust myself. Taken a very very long time. I had to get sober to bring it all together in my mind. Now the chronic pain is focus. Anger still lives in my body. 🙏

@jiesito146 2 жыл бұрын

I have to listen to this video in segments because it’s so heavy and such a reflection of my life. I appreciate all the work put into these videos as I work through my challenges

@thetinypineyfarm6145 2 ай бұрын

So many hurting, so glad God is helping me on this discovery!

@elizabethtucci3305 2 ай бұрын

So much to take in. I ticked off most of the boxes here. I guess it's never too late to get the information to heal. Thanks 👍

@tmi925 3 ай бұрын

Eureka! Having listened for second time.. it dawns on me that there's this impulse/belief that everything is high stakes. Tim listed 33 ways that fear of abandonment can manifest-(33!). What you do/say/don't say/appearance.. can be evaluated by to other and Decided as not acceptable/ followed by abandonment! BAM.. this goes for everyone.. I just have more than others/feel some more deeply than other ppl.. sensitive (somatics). Thank you for the wealth of information in your videos! Hoping for ppl to grow through these retched ..?boxes we are stuck in.

@ilovesamyo 3 жыл бұрын

These videos saved me. I needed to hear this even though the truth hurts. 1000% spot on. My limbic brain is a real bitch

@spcwild Ай бұрын

I just realized where my cptsd started thanks to this video, I was ignored as a child when i was bullied as a child by siblings and other children alike, and even after telling my parents and teachers nothing was ever done. Holding on to that mental point for later examination.

@krzysztofbyszewski5335 3 жыл бұрын

Tim, I just want to let you know that you doing fantastic work. Thank you so much for all the help and I want you to know that for me it is priceless. All the best from Ireland

@feiradragon7915 3 ай бұрын

This is so on-the-nose that I almost fell asleep from stress 2/3 of the way through hearing this.

@BlessedHope7.7.7 Ай бұрын

🕊️

@user-em3np4vr8c 2 ай бұрын

Haven't been in relationship for 20 years or something, just a guy who came and went, I won't ever be in one its too late now, I 'm too old!

@musicmamma 2 ай бұрын

Right there with ya on that one!!

@catherinewilson1079 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this video. Wish I could have watched this 40 years ago.

@shajnin.mahbub 2 ай бұрын

I've complex trauma. My whole childhood revolved around seeing my father beating my mother, abusing her physically and mentally. My father was always reluctant to treat his children wth love. My mother is also somewhat like him but I don't blame her though because she has been in an abusive marriage for a longgg time so she's mentally unstable as well. I'm trying to recover from the trauma. I've decided not to get married or have babies until I heal myself.

@2000alise Ай бұрын

I feel so called out. Every new sentence, I feel like it's more ans more about me. A lot of things make sense now, big thanks.❤

@xxjessii18xx 3 ай бұрын

Wow,wow. I can actually put a name to everything I have been going through my whole entire life. It’s amazing how relatable all of these traits are

@Kerrviii 2 ай бұрын

30:04 I have to skip forward sometimes to hear something not so crushing. I really appreciate how you break things down but I need more of a balance of good news too: ❤

@neelapatel1081 Жыл бұрын

Thank you and god bless you for this video. I have read dozens of books and watched hours of KZfaq and NOTHING has been as concise, enlightening and relatable as this. I was emotionally abandoned by my parents who later justified it in their death bed with the " reasoning" of.... they did not want a third child and the fact that I was a third girl was just too much for them to handle! I look forward to the healing work but not the time it will take ... the abandonment issues consumed most of my precious life.

@michaelblue6150 9 ай бұрын

Nothing more dangerous than an honest man!

@jordanzothegreat8696 2 ай бұрын

This couldnt have come at a better time

@Ngan.marianguyen 2 ай бұрын

Im at @14:21, u are describing me pretty exactly even tho u havent even MET me!! Omgoshh. My entire "personality" this entire time is just my trauma. Im living inside my wounds😢😢

@mrsflowerpower 2 ай бұрын

You are not alone. I just noticed my whole life struggles are abandonment fears...

@I_Kan 3 ай бұрын

I want to show this yo my nephew after hearing about a situation he was in when he last saw his Dad.

@chilloften 2 жыл бұрын

Wow, thank you for these, available to every soul wanting healing. Peace be with you.

@Kerrviii 2 ай бұрын

I used to* have the capacity to love my partner so deeply, but quickly. The difficult part has been that I shy away or see something bad is going to happen. I had so many people in and out of my life after losing my best friend (my mom) as a kid. I had good friendships and relationships but even to this day, I don’t want to get TOO CLOSE! I’ve noticed this even happens now with women coworkers and practically any woman in my life besides my grandma. I’m terrified to get close to them due to abuse, etc….

@APPR. Ай бұрын

Oof this stirred up a lot of anxiety in me so I know this is an issue I have and need to work on. Super glad I found this series

@marycatherinebello 2 ай бұрын

I'm not clingy, I"m aloof. I act as if I'm better than everyone else, but I just don't want to need anyone.

@lauracarstiou3505 3 ай бұрын

I've always known it was a big issue but l don't have any hope of ever being cured. I do have a good relationship with myself but l feel other people are bound to let me down and are not dependable. Then some have had my back but then they died. I'm old now so l expect others to die... and me next of course. Relationships have been a disaster for me. There's always that deep fear that this person is going to betray me. Like my father did to mt mother. You don't get over that ever

@Chauncey89898 2 ай бұрын

And now that I’m 64, 3 marriages, 3 divorces… this is great, but sad information) there isn’t anything I can do to fix all the hurts…. What can I do to heal?

@RiskoPlexus Жыл бұрын

The characteristics hit way too close to home. I never thought I’d hear a description of that part of myself so accurately. 😦

@teemadarif8243 Ай бұрын

My God I've become aware of so much through your workshops all praise to the Almight above

@NickolaiPetrovitch 3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for this video

@ashtonperez1499 7 ай бұрын

It’s crazy how accurate this is about me

@sharonanderson-eh4on 2 ай бұрын

Well you've just described my whole life and I'm 56 now and I'm only just learning in the last couple of years how my fear of abandonment has really effected my entire relationships my whole life. I'm working on healing my trauma and just taking small stepping stones to get back to myself. I've abandoned myself for soo many years. It's time to stop and find the peace and happiness, I now believe I deserve. Thank-you for your insights I'm truly grateful 🙏

@danielle2577 3 ай бұрын

I'm watching this twice so I can grasp the concept better. Thank you. My parents put me in my Grandma's house when I was 3,5 y.o. - 7 y.o., and those lonely time has shaped my fear up to the point I'm diagnosed with anxiety and depression. People in my country usually already married with kids at my age, and I'm still single because deep inside I know I'm not ready yet (and also maybe because I felt I was unlovable and such). Being perfectionist myself, the society's expectations on how woman should be already married in 25sh also hurt me in a way. Your series is really helpful. I know at least being single for a while is really a good choice for now up to the point I think I am really ready and at least better. Getting to know myself first is the best step for now. Thank you. For anyone who has same issues with me, I hope you'll be healed. Love you.

@jmvwegnerpriest 3 ай бұрын

💓

@I_Kan 3 ай бұрын

I stayed in past relationships too long 😮

@sherriemiller7456 2 ай бұрын

Divorced after 50 years.

@moonwillow1732 2 ай бұрын

I'm finding this so helpful. Much appreciated. Thank you sir

@vanessarenae5169 Ай бұрын

My husband and i both have abandonment issues. More me now than him because he had cheated multiple times. I had alot of fear growing up so i was perfect. And so was He. To test me throughput the relationship, he would threaten to leave me if i ever got sick, or gained weight. After my Dad and our first pregnancy failed, I slowly slipped into the grieving process. Shit hit the fan, all the fans. Life as i knew it completely crumbled and i had almost no coping skills. I become very sick and He got more and more distant and mean. It got to the point that after 2 affairs, and alot of verbal and emotional abuse ( feom him) He told me to leave. He broke it off before i could die; thsts how sick i was Now, after a failed attempt at reconciliation from the affair, our 23 yrs together, emds in fighting and tears. And im listening to this video tonight and see how his threatening to leave me caused so much anxiety and fear because I was very codependent. He was too but i think he has had like all of us here, some large abandonment wound and of course the shame that comes with it. Thank you for this information! Its helped me so much tonight

@rebbitlover 2 ай бұрын

best thing I did giving myself time building relationship with myself, valuing it, becoming present and aware...generating inside peace..

@ronihalfon9720 3 ай бұрын

So true ❤ the part of can't connect with themselves.. horrible pain...and everything in this talk.

@lifeisbeautiful7047 4 ай бұрын

Man your Shame serie was the definition of perfection and it helped me to finally understand the logic of my inner chikd, and now this video is more than just helpful. Thank you soooooooo much

@ollymounara605 3 ай бұрын

I did get abandoned many times the last couple of years and end up in relationships with unsafe people. I am really struggling at the moment. I do still have a few friends that i feel i can be myself with and feel comfortable. Those friends just do not have a lot of time. Feel quite lonely lately.

@Buzzoit 2 ай бұрын

This man has changed my life in so many ways in these past two weeks. He’s saved me in so many ways. I would joke that I was an alien tourist that doesn’t understand human interaction. Watching/listening to these made me feel like I’m not crazy for once. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone and that there’s hope for the better with the knowledge and tools here he’s provided and I feel forever grateful.

@shahilagh 2 жыл бұрын

Everything or most things he shared is so hard to watch for me. I have had nice ppl leaving me like for reasons such as having accident but then we had just begun to know them …. And that hurts that these happen to me … I now have this feeling to a therapist because I feel he will leave me too. Thanks for the wonderful videos. Nobody explains these topics like this. Most importantly you have a heart and this comes in your voice and sayings. Thanks from bottom of my heart

@alee77777 3 жыл бұрын

Just awesome, to the point, analysis of abandonment. Thank you Tim Fletcher!

@mariacliment2767 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you sooo much for these wonderdul videos which help soooo many people♥️

@isabelleboulay2651 2 ай бұрын

I've decided to stay single and mostly on my own. Much easier than trying to deal with all the game players, working on maintaining trust, respect etc. Too much work. I don't have the patience or the energy to invest in a relationship. Being self-sufficient is much healthier.

@alfreire72 3 ай бұрын

I still have some issues. I am on a journey to heal myself. It is hard but I am optimistic and I've already overcome many obstacles in my life. Thank you Tim for your mission. Yeah , I think you have a mission to help others.

@beckywells6603 2 ай бұрын

Thanks Tim, appreciate each and every lecture !

@lisabrickner6004 7 ай бұрын

I finally found my mentor!!!!! Godbless you Tim!!!

@Somun-a 2 жыл бұрын

Wow, 3 out of 3 so far. Can't say how grateful I am about this deep content.

@jonny1943 2 ай бұрын

Im greatful i found this.

@Wawa-kn8sd 29 күн бұрын

After ALL THESE YEARS OF THINKING 😢😢😢I WAS CRAZY 😧😧 AND WEIRD. Thank you God, i was abt to give up on myself and die, but God said ti me search anxious attachment, i had NO IDEA WAT IT WAS...I was going through depression spell...i am healed in the mighty name of Jesus

@French-Kiss24 3 ай бұрын

I’ve just started to become aware of this channel and segment. Very helpful.

@sealily6015 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I'm beginning to understand my past

@endriandri7914 2 жыл бұрын

It's so important to understand what you're dealing with and this video explains it in such a simple and clear way. Thank you so much Tim Fletcher it means a lot.

@Umbear 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for this information. It has been painful also being rejected is a factor

@April-dt8pp 2 ай бұрын

What in the world?? I do ALL of these things, and didn't actually realize it!!! 😞 ......now that I know I'm the problem, where do I start fixing me???

@ritadoran5039 3 ай бұрын

I was abandoned by a parent at age 2 got shuffled around diff countries ect....so I. Can relate to this video It finally makes sense the way I live and this is the reason why Its hard hope some of your videos help me heal this I have many triggers too sad parent has to do this to kids

@yuriination 4 ай бұрын

Before you even start listing the characteristics... my mother used to get sick of my little sister and I sometimes so she would yell things like, "I can't take it anymore! Im leaving and I'm not coming back!" She'd grab her cigarettes, purse and coat and leave the house, slamming the door. My little sister and I would stand at the door SCREEEAMING "mommy don't leave! Come back!!" White-hot tears just pouring down our tiny faces. My little sister was around 2 and I was 5, give or take, and it happened many many times. So... do I have abandonment issues? I'd say that's a definite YES.

@anonym16703 3 ай бұрын

my god I'm so sorry you had to go through that. i hope you and your sister find peace♥️

@yuriination 3 ай бұрын

@@anonym16703thank you. I can't even describe the feeling. Actually, maybe I can.... it feels like that moment when you're about to fall off of someplace really high up and you realize you can't stop it from happening. Like that split second you know you're going down and its going to hurt or even kill you. You can't stop it. You can't catch yourself. You're just falling. And the one person who can catch you, that SHOULD catch you, is the one who pushed you off.

@anonym16703 3 ай бұрын

@@yuriination i completely relate to it, i feel it constantly. it might help to think that maybe the place we're falling off of, isn't as high as we think. maybe sometimes just sometimes we can allow ourselves to pick ourselves up after the fall and show our brain that it's possible to survive the fall and make it less scared of falling. the thing about childhood trauma is that it feels so permanent, that it will never get better, which is a valid feeling. think about a captive baby elephant that has been tied to a small tree. it may have tried to break the rope that ties it but couldn't and it's brain has registered that it can't break free. even when it becomes a fully grown elephant, it will still feel like it cannot break free. it is unaware of its own strength. it could snap itself off from the rope if it wanted to but won't because that's what it's brain knows. don't lose hope. be compassionate and patient with yourself. allow yourself to see your own growth and strength. allow yourself to teach your brain that no matter how scary something seems, you will always survive.

@yuriination 3 ай бұрын

@@anonym16703thats not it. I've recovered from hundreds of "falls". Being able to recover isn't the problem. The problem is that I keep getting pushed by people who are supposed to be safe. Im sick and fn tired of HAVING to heal. You don't know how much betrayal I've been through. I can guarantee you it'll happen again. 55 years of it is a fairly large enough field sample to have gathered data from. I don't want to "survive". Constant survival mode is no way to live. And I know for a fact that I can never not remain hypervigilant. The world is literally so messed up. Abandonment is the least of my worries. Some, you just can't get rid of and it requires going into hiding. Also, I really dislike being called, "strong". I don't want to be "strong". I want to be safe.

@anonym16703 3 ай бұрын

i don't mean to overstep but just wanted to suggest doing some reasearch on ART or EMDR therapy. i recently came across it, hope everything works out for you!

@sylviagierasimczuk9556 4 ай бұрын

I’m learning so much from you. You have a pleasant voice ❤

@rozannedesilva8313 Жыл бұрын

This resonates in ways I cannot explain. Thank you.

@robinchilds7492 3 ай бұрын

My son and ex daughter in law abandoned my granddaughter when she was 3 years old. I got court custody and I have been raising her for the past 12 years.