I'm on the side of just cause you have a womb or sperm, doesn't mean you should be making kids.

Has anyone noticed there’s no hostility towards men with the same mindset ? Is it even a conversation for them ? It doesn’t matter if men want to be fathers or not but society assumes women are obligated to bear children

To be honest, the low quality men that surrounded me made me childfree for a long time (drug addicts, alcoholics, obsessed with porn/ insta models/ only fans, jobless/ crypto type dudes), but it all changed when I finally met a decent enough guy. Childbirth and taking care of kids is a big sacrifice and it’s not worth to do for some crusty ass low life ( queue no scrubs by tlc)

As I’m getting older, I’m leaning more into the direction of not having kids. Aside from the fact I am a Black woman and the birth rates/us giving birth is a rather traumatic, even deadlier outcome, I want to live my life in peace. I am not those people who makes hating kids their personality trait, but I feel like I won’t enjoy motherhood in the ways others do. I have so many goals I would like to accomplish on top of taking care of my mental health. I couldn’t bring kids to this world fr.

I grew up seeing all the women in my family work full-time jobs AND do all of the cooking/cleaning/child rearing on top of it. The dads would come home after work (some around the same hour as their wives) and then were ''too tired'' to do anything besides rest until bedtime. Meanwhile the wives started their home shift. They were visibly over-worked, constantly stressed and completely miserable. This life never appealed to me as a child, and I decided early on that I never wanted to become a mother nor get married.

I never wanted children since I was 10 years old and each decade that passes, I'm 33 now, I realize that I made the right decision for MYSELF. I'd rather not play Russian Roulette with an innocent life if I can't guarantee them the same life I had when I was a child and I hate being in debt.

I like having deep convos, children are boring and draining, I don’t see the appeal. I barely like adults

This is an excellent video. I'm a 55 year old female ~ single, never married, no kids. I've also worked with sick and injured children in hospitals and children with disabilities in schools across the U.S. as an occupational therapist. One thing I've noticed in America, is that some people have this romantic perception of having a child and when something happens that's not in the plan, many parents are understandably blindsided. As was mentioned in the video, if you're going to have kids, please find a reliable partner who will stick by you through thick and thin. I almost think we're at the point where 1-2 children require the care and attention of 3 adults. It would be so much better if kids were raised in small communal environments where everyone took some responsibility. But our society in the U.S. is highly individualistic and this puts a huge strain on nuclear families. It's a shame because (ideally speaking), it doesn't have to be that way. I think I would have considered having children if our society was structured differently. But I'm a realist and I saw firsthand what it takes to be a good parents, especially when things go sideways. It's a self sacrificing venture if you do it well and it encompasses your whole life for a while. I think it's doable and rewarding with the right support but it's also a high level of challenge.

I have a 19 year old. I spent my 20s as a single mother raising my son alone. It was traumatizing and I didnt get to enjoy the perks of being a mother because I was in survival mode the entire time. I love my son, but I was relieved when he decided to go live with his father and step mom fulltime at the age of 13. Hes been with them for almost 7 years and I ended up moving abroad. I enjoyed my freedom and couldn't imagine having more kids. I don't blame women for opting out of parenthood. Its not for everyone. And thats totally ok.

AND ADOPTING IS AN OPTION

The cool thing is my sister has 3 girls that I get to babysit over night every now and then I LOVE having them but when they leave my first thought is always that's all the parenting I need.

As a child free woman and someone has known this fact for a very long time , people always say that i dislike kids and I dont completely disagree with that statement, I mean , I wouldn't go out of my way to hurt a child , but i dont want to be around them.As people would say , I just dont have the "mom gene"🤷🏿‍♀️

Also, can we PLEASE talk more about wanting multiple kids, ie. being the oldest child & ESP. being the oldest FEMALE child? Because omg, wanting siblings is cute when you're the only child, but it's horrible once become the additional laborer + free live-in nanny + role model + parentified child. Then if you're hetero, be expected to be more feminine, fit, & friendly to attract & keep a husband. 🤔 _or maybe it's just me_ 😢

ask a man why he wants kids and you will know what selfishness sounds like 🤮 I would never put myself through that and sacrifice my body, health, financial independence and freedom for a man while he gets to live his life just like before and brag about his worthless lineage that he doesn't even have to raise himself. Also a man can walk away from his family anytime without being judged by society while a woman can't

I am a 34 year old woman who so far didn't get any close to being able to afford kids nor freezing eggs. I guess that is a way of clearly showing I should leave this task for the richer, and I am happy to.

I would have liked to have children but I want marriage first. And unfortunately most of the men that I met didn't want marriage or any type of commitment. They were more scared of marriage then they were to have kids and that scared me out of having kids completely. So I gave up and now I really cannot trust anyone to have a child with. It's just too many lies and manipulation being done.

10:34 this hit home for me. I’ve decided at 27 to officially be childfree and single. Growing up I always assumed I’d be married first BEFORE I have children. The older I got the less I wanted to do these things. I’ve seen a lot of women have babies without the support of their children’s fathers and I don’t want to have to go through that. I was raised by a single mom and my bio dad left before I was born. I remember she told me that men change their minds all the time about wanting to raise families. It’s honestly the BEST birth control for me. I remember being so affected by not having a dad that I wanted to take my own life. It’s not a good feeling to wonder why my dad doesn’t want to be a part of my life. It’s not good to feel unwanted because of not having a dad. I can’t imagine going through pregnancy and childbirth only to have to raise a child by myself, even if the man was there. There’s no guarantee that the potential husband/children’s father will always be there because he could either walk away or pass away. I’m still expected to take on the responsibility of child rearing either way. These things are still happening and nothing seems to be changing. In addition to that pregnancy and childbirth scares me because as a woman of color I’m more likely to have complications or die from it according to statistics. For these reasons, there will be NO kids for me. I come from a family of single mothers. The cycle of single motherhood ends with ME!!!!

This is so true .. I hate how people send you in guilt trip .. like how will the population grow ?? How will you feel fulfilled??? This is your only job , why else do we need women ??? . The fact that after the woman does have kids ..they leave her alone to deal with the after effects. Makes no sense honestly ! Honestly, it scares me thinking How scary is world right now. People don't even faze doing children genocide. Why make them suffer by giving them birth just to feel complete being a woman.

I am not comfortable procreating with the state of the world and the heavy burdens placed on mothers. The idea of spreading disabling genetics, experiencing a stillbirth or miscarriage, and just birth in general really freak me out. None of it aligns with who i am as a person.

Ive chose to be childfree at the young age of 13 and its still strong . Im in My 20's my life, emotion, career and my cats come first . Kids are traps ...Expensive Traps . People who say having kids is a blessing is a huge fat lie ITS SELFISH TO HAVE KIDS in this curent era. Also most men is low quality with i deserve better

The thing is that the way society is set up nowadays, having kids requires constant sacrifice and giving. When humans lived in tribes and even in early pioneer days it was acceptable for children to start working very young and contribute to the community and the parenting standard wasn’t as high. Kids were raised by everyone around them and the requirements were smaller-no need for driving them around, picking out new outfits every day, buying so many different things etc. But today parents and especially mothers need to live only to provide for the kids and do everything for them-after working 9-5 they have to schedule their appointments, drive them to activities and to be social, entertain them, make sure they do their homework properly, monitor what they’re watching on the internet, obviously still cook 3 meals a day etc. It’s just too much work and we’re not intended to live this way.

i chose not to have children because I didn't want to have a child with just anyone just to have a child. I met the person I was meant to spend my life with later in life and that's perfectly wonderful. My life is full and happy and now that I'm older I have the financial freedom to enjoy time together. Anyone who has children and wants to have children I applaud because it's hard weather you have 2 parents or just one. I am extremely happy with my decision and I've heard that argument from men that "you're a female it's literally what you are created to do". Do what makes you happy with or with out "a legacy" as it's been put to me.

Great video. I come from a long line of abused kids. My father was a lot better than his. If I do have children, I intend to keep that trend going and be the best parent I can be. Babies don't ask to be born. You bring them into this world without them being able to consent to it. You owe them the WORLD for that

If you are worried about "losing your sense of self", you should not have a child. You have to accept the fact that things are going to change and the child is number 1 priority from that point on.

"I'm not having kids" - "That's what you were born to do" wtf lmao this guy oh my god

As a mom, I completely disagree that you have to give “your whole self” in order to be a good mom. That’s the idea that has created so many depressed mothers with no other sense of identity outside their children, and spoiled and entitled children as well. I love my son to death and give him everything he needs, however, I make it a point to take a day each week to myself. Like yesterday while my husband was at work and son was at daycare, I went to the movies and lunch solo, then I came home and worked out before my husband picked him up and they came home. I KNOW I’m a better mom to him cause I’m less stressed and not overwhelmed. I dont feel like I don’t have a life outside my kid, etc…Your kids need to know the world doesn’t revolve around them, and they also need to know that women aren’t just meant to dedicate their entire lives to motherhood. Life is multifaceted and should be enjoyed in more ways than one, even as a parent.

I feel lucky that I've beem certain about not wanting kids since I was young. The day I realised it was a choice was the day I started looking forward to adulthood and the rest of my life. Now I'm in my early 20s, and I know many people will probably try to convince me otherwise over the next 20 years, but luckily I simply don't care. My happiness is more important than the views of random people who want me to join them in their misery. I feel that if someone truly loves being a parent, they'll mind their own business and not feel the need to berate people who chose a different lifestyle.

Someone said men would rather be miserable than alone and women would rather be alone than miserable. I can do bad all by myself so why would I want to be down bad with somebody? That's just an extra burden and more stress lol. Id have a kid for Mr. Right and after we've been married at least a year so I can see up close and personal what he really like💯 I think my fertility is fine, I don't care enough to check. L 10 years from now if I'm trying to conceive and I can't I'd just adopt. I know it's not for everyone so I'm not down playing it.

For me motherhood had never been in my plans I have never visualize myself in that role, but my mexican family ask me why I don’t want to be a mom every chance that they have and no matter the explanation that I give them (which I don’t have to give) I always end as a really selfish and inmature person. I’ve been strugling with health problems and also eating disorders I don’t think this is the more suitable situation to raise a child. Not everybody have to be a parent even if they are capable biologically.

Having children is the greatest most over rated experience you could ever have 😂. Seriously though having children is not necessary for a fulfilled life as a woman. You should only ONLY have children in the best possible situation and that’s it.

So I have a child with zero regrets however these are all the reasons I’m one and done! People keep pressuring you after you have a baby… um no . I got my perfect girl and as soon as I hit my Pilates mom era I ain’t doing the sleepless nights again! Her and I will be shopping, going to the beach, enjoying life as a family.. if she wants a sibling bond she can make friends !

I don't wanna take care of kids & not get a salary & benefits out of it. This is why I'm okay with teaching 😅 & parents are legally obligated to pick up their children

I'm a 18 year old and I love this video and this video has good points. Ever since I was 7 I never wanted to have kids my mom always tells me I'm gonna change my mind (I will never). Plus my parents had me for their selfish reasons (reasons being I take care of them when their old and I get a job to buy them a big house).

I have ALWAYS known that I really want children, but I would only do it if I ever reach a point where I am really secure &stable (mentally& financially) & have a social network I trust and can rely on

there is no way to have kid without having a selfish reason

People need to really think hard about whether or not they want kids. I know that I would objectively be a terrible parent. In addition to simply not having the inclination, I am mentally unstable (not entirely exaggerating). It wouldn't be fair to put a kid through that.

I have a good career but I want to have kids more than anything. I found a “fireplace” in a friend for a father of my kids, not a “firecracker”.

I'm childfree as a 20 year old because I don't want children.

I have never followed any channel that I have agreed more with. Such a good video. On point. I am grateful for my surroundings and for my own confidence to preach being childfree and not give a shit if anyone comes at me. Also, the latter barely happens!

I’ve been thinking about making a video about being childfree and how Ive known since I was 6 years old that I had ZERO desire to have children. Its absolutely okay and idk why people are offended by that LOL

I have way too many issues, including mental health issues. I dont want to drag a child into my stuff.. i come from a dysfunctional family and i am ending generational trauma with me. If someone calls me selfish, so be it.

i am a 58 year old woman and glad to be childfree by choice. I don't want the life a of a mombie. I don't want pregnancy, childbirth, breast pumps, breastfeeding, i don't want to produce humans, some that will go on to be criminal too.

Loved your video. You are so spot on. I’m a mum but I have mostly prior to being a mum, felt like you. The best ones are those who realise it is going to be hard and involve sacrifice.

i don't understand why ppl don't just adopt!

I’m a Hawaiian woman who doesn’t particularly want kids, but I want to donate eggs to another Polynesian couple or something. I would only want a biological child that was also Polynesian, for example from a sperm donor if I do not have a partner in the future. It’s a hard decision to make. I’d rather be childless than not have a Polynesian kid.

I have been watching and reading content about being child-free and how hard parenting is. I always figured I would have kids, but I'm so grateful for people speaking out about the harsh realities of parenthood. I knew it wasn't easy but I'm even more aware now. Like of how PIVOTAL it is to choose the right partner and father for your children. Is he responsible? Is he reliable? Does he contribute to the domestic maintenance of the home without you having to nag him? I feel like outside of loving your partner, women need to think hard and critically about whether the man they're with will ease the overall load of parenting, or just add stress. Because oftentimes the bulk of the domestic labor is still falling on women, even as we catch up to men in the workplace. For me, I'm just not at a point where I can definitively say I don't want children. However, I've come to a point where if I don't end up finding a partner with whom I feel like the sacrifices of parenting will be worth it to take on, I will accept never having children. I refuse to have children with someone I'm settling with out of desperation or pressure. I refuse to end up a "married single mother". A part of me still wants to be a mom one day, but I can find peace in my life being child-free as well, if it comes to that.

im almost 20 and i have known since i was 14 that i didn't want to have a kid ever. and in the meanwhile as i told people who asked, i've always been tagged as selfish. and while i know it's not selfish to not risk your neck for a kid i might not even want or like, i always answer with the clearest "yes i am" i can muster or sometimes when im looking for an argument (my toxic trait), i said "to who?". it usually stops there. bcs literally what about it? im selfish and then what? oh okay.

I also think women grew with feminist movement.but men did not develop. They are the second child next to your newborn when it comes to childcare.

Ive got 5 kids, but I wanted them all, wanted a big family. My mother had 6 kids, my grandmother 6 also. Its hard sometimes but we make it work. Good luck either way ladys.

Just like you, I also grew up in a Pakistani household where I wanted to go on vacations with my friends and my parents would decline my request, citing: “shaadi k baad jao.” I’m quite fortunate that I married a man who also loves traveling and adventure and doesn’t care much for having kids; now my parents ask me when I’m going to have any, and I respond, “when I’m done traveling.” 😎

I have never wanted kids. I mean from the time I was a young child i knew that was not for me. It’s interesting seeing the perspective of other women, especially those who may have wanted kids before or who were undecided saying they no longer want to bring children into this world. My parents are the kind of people who would say there is no “right time” to have kids so I’m glad to see people actually thinking about it and realizing that no, maybe it’s not the right time for them.

My body, my choice👏This video was so amazing

Currently pregnant and married with a house and I STILL don’t know if I want or am ready for kids lol 😂 and the idea of labor is horrifying. People talk about how hard pregnancy is but you really don’t get it until you experience it. Love the idea of my son but I completely understand someone saying heck no to being pregnant and having children.

It's so much more of a choice now than when I was young. It was just something you did back then, get married, have children. Women are really giving a lot of thought these days about such a huge life changing decision, where in many cases they will be the primary caregiver.

I am a 37 yo woman and don't have kids. You can call me a fence sitter. I am not planning to have children but I'm not oppose to the idea if it happens. Basically I am OK either way.

Thank you so much for this enlightening video. 🙏🏻

my parents had me in their 40s though

Love your content! Just wanna say you look SO beautiful here! Red is a stunning color on you! Thanks for a great video as a woman who is on the fence about having kids at 32.

Happy Birthday!! You covered this topic perfectly, imo I second what the human connection lady said. Nothing can prepare you for it 100%, but if you have adequate resources and you aren't afraid to ask for help you should absolutely do it once you've had the life experience you want for yourself and are ready to put yourself second in life for a handful of years. I've found it helpful to remember that most of the challenges and difficulties are temporary.

3:01 It is my firm believe that ALL responsibilities (100%) regarding raising of children should fall solely on the woman. so she knows exactly what and how much needs to be done, for her to not miss a thing and therefore the kid not deprived of anything. Then if this woman honestly still decides to have a kid, she'd sit down and have detailed meetings with her man and her "village" regarding that long list of duties, so everyone is locked in with their responsibilities and everything is clear before the kid even arrives. And if somehow they can't come to any sort of agreement, she shouldn't be popping out kids. I see way too many women just pop out kids THINKING they only have certain responsibilities, assuming the man / the village's gonna help with some other things, all while not even being aware of certain duties etc. There should be a clear person-in-charge regarding the task of raising kids, and I think the mama should be this person.

awesome video, it has really made me think about my own desire to have kids and how to go about that, xoxo

I've always know i didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to put my body on the line for that besides i don't even have a nurturing spirit in my body. My interactions with my younger brother when he was born and my younger cousins kinda solidified that

@14:46 This woman right here is the greatest example I have seen yet to represent the divide in desire for children. Despite *everything* she knows and understands about childbirth, she wants to experience it more than anything. Meanwhile, there are some of us who are absolutely repulsed by even entertaining the *idea* of childbirth, myself included. It is a neon-bright, visceral *NO* for me, on a molecular level. I can feel it *in my bones,* no. Not saying I'll never "change my mind" and not someday consider adopting a child that someone else turned away from, but I would be genuinely surprised if my body ever flipped the script on that desire. 31 years and counting, so we'll see what this decade decides.

Having kids so that “they take care of you” isn’t a valid reason, or a common at that, BUT my “childfree by choice” aunt has had several health issues, to which is, the nieces and nephews, the children produced by her siblings, have had to take on to take care of her.. So, childfree women, be good to your nieces and nephews, that’s if you aren’t an only child (otherwise, good luck) . You are not going to be this age forever and you WILL need those close knit relationships as you are not going to be this young, self-sufficient forever

The egg freezing I mean you do you if you want/can afford but I wouldn't be able to trust it's actually my eggs I'd get backnif I wanted to use them. If nurses can switch people's live babies what's stopping egg swapping?

Love your channel. Please add a ''PLAY ALL'' button to your channel so people could click and have a playlist of all of your videos rather than only a specific topic. 💫

I never want to give birth, I prefer adoption. And if I do adopt, it will be like Bridgit Mendler did: ON MY OWN! A lot of the men I've been surrounded by have abused me, abused women I love, and think women should feed and cook for men who hasn't reciprocated that behavior at all just because they did "the kindness" of taking women out on dates. *Completely ridiculous and preposterous!*

If i really wanted kids one day, id adopt from foster care❤

Well, if a person have a compassion, empathy and sympathy towards other people experiencing negative events in life before having a child, then think about it. Because if you really do have the emotions and feelings you wouldn't bring another human being to go through all of it. Don't only have concerns about the child you have now, also consider about the next. It's doesn't matter if you raise your child a better person or you think they'll be doing better when they became adult 'cause there's no guarantee that they'll do the same. If you think it's worth it 'cause you raise a responsible, obedient and etc. child, then what about the tomorrow or the next generation? Isn't not your responsibility anymore? It's sad that a mother or a father have compassion towards other people but then they've someone might be one day they will be in that situation or even the next generation (grandchildren and so on). I really don't think they've that emotions or it is just guilt? 🤔 Abused, neglected, killed, hungry, orphaned, raped, experiencing losses of love one especially parents, what else that might be a person will experience in this society or world. If only we are able to think about it or have conscience and conscious on our decision then for sure no children and person will go through what I mentioned. It's not about fulfillment, it is worth it, you're a best parent, and you created a person to cure cancer, a soldier, a tax payer or contributor for the economy and for whatever reason you want a child. Well, if you think that's the right thing for you to have a child then it's your choice, responsibility and obligation but don't say at the end that you did your best as a parent when your plan goes sideways and call for help either gov't assistance or any facility that will help you to solve your problem. Don't find anyone to blame your decision. Remember there's only two in the bed when you're doing it and enjoying it. ☺️ Anyway, I wish them a best of luck! 💆 🕊️💖🍀

Well, honestly, it's a lottery. If your child has health issue of any kind, your parenting will be hard, and it will be harder depending on your financial situation. You can't predict that it happens or not. Also, it depends on your child's mindset, mentality, emotional and intellectual state. That can depend on you and how you raise your child, but also on your partner's genes, and your genes which may not be dominant in you but in some your relative. Also, it could depend on social background. It depends on how much help you can get. Parenting can be great, but it can also be challenging and hard. It could be tragic, or stressful, or amazing, sadly there is no way to predict which one. But in general, it is never easy. It depends on you and your partner. Having a child does not mean you will not be able to do what you want, sleep until noon or travel. It does not. Also, the contrary is true too. Not having child does not mean you will be able to sleep until noon, travel and do what you want. As I said, life is unpredictable. You could get sick, you could be in chronic pains, you can be poor and not able to travel ever regardless, you could be in born and living in country ravaged by war etc. What I am trying to say it's not universal decision. It's like everything in life, unpredictable step that requires a lot of bravery. If you are sure you don't want to have children definitely don't have them. Because it's forever, you can't take it back, unlike most other decisions.

When i was younger, i really wanted some kids but when i grew older i don’t want any. Because there are a lot of things that you can do to enjoy your life without a kid and a woman’s only value is not her motherhood. I don’t want any kids because i don’t want that responsibility and i wanna do everything that i want. Also i am so scared of that creepy people can harm my child and what if i can’t protect my own child? Or what if i harm my child? So being childfree sounds better to me.

Child free 😎🥳

It's a choice, and it ought to be. Enough people make the childfree choice, of course, and we go extinct. Things will get very very crazy while that's going on. Much of what we've built, the very right to choose, will be abolished in our attempts to avoid extinction. We could get The Handmaid's Tale for real, only it wouldn't come with pretty bonnets. We'd end up wishing it was like The Handmaid's Tale. If people live only for themselves, life isn't honestly much to brag on. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. I fell in love with somebody older than me, we ended up not having children. Not even sure we could have. I regret it. But it's impossible to live without some regrets. I feel like the childfree people are just trying to justify a choice they have some doubts about. If they had no doubts, they wouldn't be trying to treat this as a viable lifestyle choice. A lifestyle choice that leads to the end of all human life--bit problematic, no? But that doesn't let men off the hook, for making the choice to have children so tough for women. Plenty of blame to go around, but don't ask me to admire you for doing whatever the fuck you want, and to hell with everyone else. That's such a man thing to do.

You look very similar to me. Similar hair colour, eye colour and skin tone. I am Russian (both by nationality and ethnicity) though

I am Childfree ☺️

given the state of politics, the economy and society i am glad i didn't have kids. i still worry for my nieces, nephews and godchildren because though i won't be around to see it climate change is going to be a horror.

I'm a 19 year old young adult and I have already taken the decision to not have biological children, to bear children of my own. I'm an anti-natalist in a pro-natalist country like India. There prevails constant social pressure of having children after marriage. As marriage is a deeply established social institution, women are losing their self-identity. Childfree women are considered selfish in India. Childbirth can't be every woman's choice or wish. Not every woman wants to embrace motherhood. Indian society is severely indoctrinated into patriarchy in which marital rape can't be considered forceful sexual intercourse without the woman's consent but being childfree is a crime. Ironic!!

I am lazy and would like to remain so. Why unnecessarily complicate your life just because someone else said so. Alot of the men also see babies as a low effort tether to a woman and have them for egotistical reasons. They dont even expect to take care of them most of the time. No thankyou bb. I will continue my lazy girl life ❤

You know why I won't regret not giving birth? Because adoption is opinion If and when I'm one day ready to have a child im going to adopt I don't understand why breeding is such a big deal

BE!!! 🎉🫶

To answer your question, having children is the best trap, i can think of having. If you want them and can afford them, great, also, i have and will take my babies on hoilday. I have a lil village.

Algorithm

I am sorry but hiring labour is not going to work out in older age. As someone whose mom does work in an old age home, TRUST me you do not want to end up there.

I'm not letting another woman's bad experience with motherhood dictate what I want in my own life and relationships. Motherhood might be a bad experience for some women, but for many other women, they are very happy to be mothers. I personally want children with my fiancé after we get married and I'm not letting random women online complaining about their own experience with motherhood decide if I want kids or not. If a woman does not want to have children, then it's simple, don't have any. Literally NO ONE is forcing you to.

Brownfiregirl you are so beautiful and attractive 😍😍❤️❤️❤️

THATS WHAT YOU WAS BORN HERE TO DO 😂