Tom listed plenty of valid reasons to break up with Ariana. He listed zero valid reasons for cheating on her with her best friend behind her back for a year.

Howie being an advocate for mental health while allowing Tom to trash Ariana's mental health is fucked up

“Never did I think I’d get myself in a situation like this…” You started out Season 1 in a situation like this.

Tom takes no accountability for his actions. He is blaming Ariana basically for him cheating! He is the crazy one here!

He told everyone his relationship with Kristen was terrible because he couldn't talk to her, and she was crazy. The twins in his apartment he slept with were crazy. Then he told everyone he loved Ariana because he could talk to her, and she wasn't crazy. Then told everyone Miami Girl they talked, but she was crazy. Then now he's telling everyone he couldn't really talk to Ariana anymore because she has mental health"issues", aka crazy. Now he got close to Raquel because he could talk to her. How long before he says she's crazy?

So Tom started an affair with Raquel, started therapy to break up with Ariana but told her it was to work on the relationship, told her he was distant because of the new bar. She completely trusted him, she started doing the work in therapy, was supportive and doing everything she could to save the relationship and living in an entire different reality than Tom was.

"There were so many perks to the relationship...such as the image of it all" LMAO this dude is wild

This is so crazy to watch in the wake of the last episode before the finale, when we saw Rachel confronting Ariana about how she should want to have sex with Tom and questioning whether she’s even attracted to him. To hear the situation spoken about so casually is insane, as if it wasn’t a calculated, vindictive betrayal.

If this EVER happens to Howie's daughter. I bet he'll understand the hoopla real quick. 😂

him blaming her for not noticing as if she shouldn’t trust the person she’s been with for a decade is DISGUSTING.

Thank goodness Howies daughter is there and knows what's going on. This interview should have been done by Andy.

It is absolutely not the ending of the relationship that is worse, it’s the affair because now everyone feels betrayed, lied, & manipulated to say the least

Bottom line...you have to end a relationship BEFORE you start another. It's the betrayal and disrespect that is hard to overlook

Love that Howie is preaching mental health while allowing Tom to shame Ariana’s symptoms of depression

Getting a ad of Ariana during this interview is GOLD!!! ❤❤❤ GO QUEEN

What Adriana said in the finale was The best assessment of who Rachel is. This girl has no identity she’s looking for her identity in men. Something to that effect. Smartest line I’ve heard in reality tv. Adriana is smart and beautiful and will have her next act. I thought they should’ve separated when she didn’t want to have kids and he wanted to be a father. Best wishes to all in the situation!

Howie is completely missing the context of the fact that Raquel is one of Ariana’s closest friends- and the fact that Ariana was literally the only one of the group who embraced Raquel and supported her from the very beginning. And Tom is conveniently neglecting that fact. Gee Tom, it was a hard thing for Ariana to accept because you were lying to her and she was living in a completely different reality than you. If he had told her that he was having an affair with one her best friends she would have broken up with him. She DID notice that Tom was distant, he told her that he was working on the bar. She said multiple times how much she missed hanging around with him. Seriously dude, did she not notice you were distant or was she being super supportive and did a 180 because of the therapy.

Imagine being a 40 year old man being entirely incapable of taking accountability for your actions.

i am not mad at Tom for falling in love with someone else, I am mad that he cheated and basically blew up their entire friend group!!

It blew up because Ariana was ride or die for both of them. She stood up for both and had their back no matter what anyone said. That is the ultimate betrayal regardless of what problems you were facing as a couple. Tom said they both had each others back but where in this situation does Tom have her back? It couldn’t be further from the truth. He not only betrayed her but he did it with her supposed best friend who she defended to everyone who hated Raquel. That’s why it’s blown up. It doesn’t matter how far you guys have grown apart in your relationship. You have self control, act like an adult with respect for not only yourself but the nine years spent that you shared a life together, and walk away with dignity. You don’t burn the bridge in the ultimate way by cheating on her and humiliating her in front of the whole world! How is that having her back? Tom doesn’t even have his own back because he humiliated himself. Raquel is irrelevant really. She holds nothing of value in this situation because she showed her cards and she’s disgusting. A snake in the grass and the tables will turn on her at some point in her life. The jokes on both Raquel and Tom because from this point further, good luck ever finding someone who will trust you. That alone will prevent you from having a healthy relationship in your future ever again. Hope it all was worth it!

If someone could tape Howie's mouth shut and let his daughter just run the interview that would be amazing. He's giving NOTHING.

The disgusting part is he allowed the mistress to be in his house, letting Ariana feel like they were best friends for months. She was allowed to be part of everything their group of friends did. This whole thing is not just a betrayal to Ariana, it’s a betrayal to all their friends and the people who watch the show. If Tom had been having an affair with someone outside of the friend group, it would be a whole different story. You and Rachel had an affair right in front of Ariana’s face. Stop gaslighting Ariana and take your punishment like a man.

I’ve been married 37 years and I can tell you that most relationships don’t stay hot and on fire like it does in the beginning. It will always ebb and flow. He turned 40, realized he was getting older and wanted some younger woman to make him feel like a man. A mature man will understand that his life is changing and so is his partners and will work towards finding a common ground. It doesn’t happen over night but you fight for what you value. I wish I could make these younger women understand that when a man who is in a relationship shows interest in another woman, it ain’t about her being special. It’s about him needing an ego boost. Never ever become too close with a friend of the opposite sex because you could start having feelings and you will start comparing. It’s human nature to be flirtatious and to see just how far you can take it. The saddest dumbest thing I’ve ever heard was when Rachel said we’ve been honest about everything but the affair. Relationships are a work in progress throughout the entirety of it.

What gets me is Ariana saw Tom was willing to cheat on Kristen with her and then admits she knew he slept with Miami girl but went out of her way to lie in order to protect Tom (or her ego as Kristen was right) so she saw red flags early on.

The irony of Howie talking about how stupid the TMZ interview was, as HE himself is conducting the worst, most ill-informed interview!!

Sandoval is a legend in his own mind and Howie is fueling his clearly inflated ego. I'm nauseated by this interview.

sucks to have a dad that supports a man like this. he sees himself in tom that’s why.

The fact that Howie is babying Tom so much and has never even seen the show

Man..howie just dismisses everything his daughter says and she's the one that actually knows whats going on.

This is the short of it: Tom turned 40. He panicked because he’s getting older, real life is setting in, he’s not as attractive as he once was, he’s not as fun as he once was, the same things that used to make him happy and/or excited don’t anymore. He’s looking for an escape from his reality. In comes Rachel. The young, fun, new, exciting single girl that is giving Tom all the attention he so desperately needs. Classic narcissist. She feeds his ego and thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread. This makes Tom’s brain feel really good, releasing dopamine, etc which is making him believe he’s in love with Rachel. This is called limerence. Tom’s brain is acting that of a child. One day he will wake up when the pattern with Rachel repeats. If he doesn’t get a grip on his mental health and the reason he is acting like this, he will continue to repeat the pattern. Thinking he’s found his true love of his life, reality sets in, his wandering eye is awaken, he cheats, and moves on to the next girl. Wake up, Tom! He honestly might have borderline personality disorder, but definitely Peter Pan Syndrome!

Tom’s eyes give away the magnitude of lies he/they have concocted. His body language tells you all you need to know.

He tried to break up means he tried to get her to break up with him so he could be the victim

The disrespect he has for his partner of 9 years is truly disgusting. I hope Ariana knows how fabulous she is and he fades into the sad irrelevancy he deserves

It's funny that he claims he had such a difficult time breaking up with Ariana because she was "in denial" and "threatened to self sabotage". Yet when she figured out about his affair with Raquel, she broke it off IMMEDIATELY. Which just proves that had she known the truth from the start, it would have resulted in the end of the relationship. So gross that he forced her to go to couples therapy and only talked in "hypothetical" terms when he was actively being unfaithful ..

If you go back and watch Seasons 1 and 2 you will see the exact same things were going on. Tom was living with Kristen and Kristen slept with his best friend Jax; while Tom was cheating on Kristen with Ariana. Then Kristen started sleeping with Tom's friend James. Then in the third season James admits to only sleeping with Kristen to get on the show. Then Raquel became a fan of the show, sought James out, started sleeping with him to get on the show; broke up with him; while pretending they were engaged; then Raquel started sleeping with Tom. So it's all a circle of everybody using each other sexually to get what they want. It is their group dynamic. It's why Peter doesn't have a bigger part on the show - he's too normal. He dated Stassi and Kristen; they acted a little crazy; he broke up with them. These people are incapable of relationships. They do not know this. That's why it is compelling.

❗️I rewatched this interview after the reunion & secrets revealed. Tom lied through this entire interview! Howie you truly missed the boat on this one!!!!

Howie please please do not ever interview someone, when you are clueless about what is going on. This interview could have been better!

They asked him probably 5 separate times if he had a conversation with Ariana explaining that he was unhappy and wanting to end the relationship and he dodged it every single time. What a joke

For 7/8 months Tom and Rachael were lying to Ariana's face constantly as they were hooking up There is no excuse for this whatsoever!

Sandavol makes Jax look like an angel 😂

"I don't need this house" ... proceeds to refuse to leave said shared house

If I were Howie Mandel's wife, I'd be nervous about how easily he identified with justifying an affair

Insane howie didn’t do his homework. He didn’t get the full story. No wonder he didn’t understand why everyone is attacking him 🤯

I think it also blew up _because_ of the fact that Tom and Ariana hid their issues from everyone, and because Adriana had been going through so much already, AND because it was with her good friend. Plus, we were already all worked up about cheating having JUST watched Lenny and Lisa go through this.

Pretty disgusting that Tom is discussing her mental health & her laying in bed. As if she hasn't been humiliated enough by him. He sneaky insults her. "I deal with depression by getting up and grabbing life by the balls, she deals with it by laying in bed all day." The best karma..watching the Universe open up to her & seeing her absolutely blow up!

So many missed opportunities to ask relevant questions, and Howie cutting off his daughter at every opportunity and not finding anything wrong with how Tom handled this is just disgusting.

The lack of intimate connection between Tom and Ariana was evident from the start. They were clearly amazing friends, but Ariana's need to withdraw and protect herself was in stark contrast to Tom's need for extraversion and validation by others. It was painful to watch them continue to pretend they were in a great relationship - as a therapist I read between the lines from the beginning. It is terrible they felt they had to maintain the 'optics' and that they were a 'brand' - reality TV has a lot to answer for.

I get it. People grow apart. They meet other people and go their own ways. The part I will never understand is the bold face lying to everyone’s faces and to the fans. That just speaks so badly of Tom’s and Rachel’s characters/reputations. Stop blaming Ariana for your failures, Tom. It’s YOUR fault. And for lort’s sake, don’t give yourself applause for your performance. Nobody wants to hear that.

I’m just trying to imagine Howie justifying this if it was his own daughter this was happening to. Would that guy be “super nice and talented” still?? This is bulls***

So basically Tom has a mid life crisis at the age of 40 and realizes he needs to “change something”. He gets a band, business, and gets rid of Arianna. He blames everything but his own actions. He’s such a joke!

The commercial of Ariana for BIC on this is golden 😂

How big of him to say he accepted the lack of sex. Holy shit he's blaming her for the entire affair.

Howie respectfully isn’t asking good questions. We need someone who actually knows what’s going on and didn’t get briefed on the topic.

Knowing he “kissed” Rachel in Mexico and then gaslit everyone who questioned him at Rachel’s bday camping trip about them sneaking around together makes me feel a certain type of way about it. If u had been up front and honest from the jump maybe there would have been a different reaction.

omg this is brutal to listen to honestly.... i could paragraphs to everything tom is saying, god i can't imagine how ariana felt listening to this if she was even able to get thru it

this is the most unprepared, so far fetched pod cast i’ve seen in my entire life. like blind leading blind

ENRAGING that Tom Sandoval sat here and tried to tell us that he finally broke up with Arianna 2 weeks prior to the scandal breaking. And then he has the NERVE to add that she told him that if he really broke up with her he would “effectively be ending her life”. He says this about someone who has been open about struggling with depression! 1. I don’t believe she said this at all. 2. IF she did, and you know she was struggling with depression HOW DARE you share that publicly!! Disgusting and vile. He is just treating her like Kristen 2.0 except instead of “she was crazy that’s why i cheat on her”. It’s “shes depressed. That’s why I cheat on her”.

I really hope things get better for all three of you.

This entire interview you can see Tom LITERALLY making shit up as he goes. And you can also see Howie’s ineptitude as an interviewer.

Howie. Please give Jackie more of a voice. We want Tom challenged by someone who knows the storyline.

Tom could literally say that he killed someone and Howie would say, "Well, you're human, we all make mistakes, and you're single" WTF

How are you gonna do zero research before a serious ass interview such as this 💀 cmon Howie 😭

LOL I’m cringing this whole interview because Howie was CLEARLY the wrong person to have this conversation. He doesn’t know anything! And he’s defending Sandoval while knowing nothing! Genius idea

How can you interview someone embroiled in a scandal and not do your homework?

Tom speaking so nicely about Rachel and trashing Ariana is the lowest of lows. Can’t even speak highly of the person you did wrong .

Howie, always the voice of reason. He made a mistake and the hatred has been beyond ridiculous. I think the post has been awesome. You treated him with a respect that he isn’t receiving very often these days. And, of course, you always place the importance on mental health above all. And I think Tom needed to hear that I always love you. And , this just made me love you more! So glad I found your podcast ☮️🙏❤️

It is infuriating that Howie keeps praising Tom for being "open" about his issues. If Howie knew anything about the show he might understand that Tom is only being "open" in an attempt to manipulate the audience, apportion blame to Ari and push his narrative. His oh so familiar narrative, which he already used when he broke up with Kristen. In both situations he said that the relationship was no longer intimate and that they had become like roommates,living separate lives. Howie says he doesn't need to be familiar with the show to interview Tom and that just shows how utterly, frustratingly, ignorant he is of the whole situation. Tom couldn't have chosen a better interviewer! He totally fell for Tom's story. He also aides Tom by completely minimising the seriousness of Tom and Ariana's relationship . Who cares that they weren't legally married? They were in a de-facto relationship and owned a house together.If Howie knew the background, he might have pointed out that maybe the reason Ari seemed oblivious to Tom's affair, or the fact he was pulling away, was because she was grieving the loss of both Charlotte and her grandmother.As Howie was clueless he was unable to challenge Tom at all. Instead, Tom's version of events went completely unchallenged !

Thank you Howie for teaching me that victim shaming is an important part of mental health advocacy! Thank you! 🙃

I love how no one mentioned that Rachel was very very close friends with Ariana. That’s a big huge part of the problem.

He was singing with his band with Ariana & Raquel (his two women) cheering him on at the stage! He is Very sick!!!📣

After watching all the seasons of VPR, I think Tom didn't break up with Ariana because they were a brand. They wanted different things in life fundamentally but kept the relationship going on longer than it should have. They loved each other for sure but sometimes love is not enough. Arianna is going to be ok. She was changing who she truly was for Tom and vice-versa. It's unfortunate they did not end things sooner but again they had a lot investments together. It was not easy for both of them. Raquel is lost and trying to find herself, she has a lot of self realization she has to do. This is going to affect her image for a long time, i kinda feel sorry for her. But at the end of the day, it had to happen this way for them to end things. But such is life, we live and we learn. Never change who you truly are for anyone# know thyself and live in your truth. The End.

You guys had such an amazing opportunity to interview maybe the most sought after person at the moment and this felt CHAOTIC. Howie has no clue what’s going on lol.

Why the hell is howie trying to mansplain cheating and justify it by using mental health 🙄 disgusting

I hope the best for sure, been a fan from the beginning! I love All the Vanderpump peeps❤

I used to work once upon a time in Promenade Mall at Eaton's in the Children's Wear Department in Thornhill, Ontario. One day the Manager from the Women's department asked if anyone could take an extra shift in her Department. I took it and was ringing in a purchase from a wonderful older lady and while doing so, two of her friends passed by and started chatting with her. I waited until their conversation finished to finish off her transaction. Their conversation was about her son and how they sometimes liked his humour and did not always get it. I looked at her card because part of the customer service process is to look at the name on the card and say their last name. We even used to get mystery shoppers and got marks off when we did not call the customer by their last name. Anyways Howie, it was your mother. I then realized her friends were talking about you and after they left, I asked, if Howie Mandel was her son and she said, yes. I remember asking your mom who Howie gets his humour from, you or your husband? She said, neither really, lol. Not sure if you will read this. I thought it would be an interesting story to share with you.

THE MOST PAINFUL THING FOR ARIANA IS THE ENDING OF THE RELATIONSHIP? No that’s the best part. The worst part is the betrayal.

translation of this whole thing: “my narcissistic supply ran out with Ariana and I was having a midlife crisis, but I liked the image of our brand for myself so I kept her around for my benefit. at the same time I found a new narcissistic supply in Raquel because she’s young and fun to *uck and thinks I’m the best, so I kept both narcissistic supplies around for my benefit” my god he’s an insufferable and selfish human.

This break up is the best thing to happen to Ariana. Wish her much continued success.

I remember when they FIRST started dating on the show that Arianna would say they never had sex. She would say “yeah he tries to go down on me and I’m like ewwww no” and one of the other girls was shocked. I haven’t even seen the show in years and I vividly remember that. So if he’s been in that kinda relationship for 9 years I understand how it could lead to cheating. I don’t agree with it. And he should have broken up with her first for sure. But I do understand how that could happen.

I feel so so bad for Ariana… I can’t imagine seeing this and being blamed for what he did. How disgusting.

Uncle Howie, with peace and love you don’t need to justify this man’s actions. He knows what he did was wrong

“Like … I like … you know … but like dude … he was like and so like I was like ….” what!? 🤯

I wish he would just be 100% accountable for cheating & being a coward by hurting Ariana. No matter what, relationships go through ebs & flows. That is not an excuse to cheat. No one discusses the fact that alcohol is a major factor in this show in general as well as the decisions HE made as well as Raquel. The history of this show & the "bad" decisions these ppl make are centered around ample amounts of alcohol.

They way Tom tries to remain calm and articulate and then you see his true emotion come out in spurts of temper tantrums and hysterics of believing he truly is the victim before he catches himself and goes back to playing it cool is definitely something they study in psychology classes

I cannot believe how many times Howie cut Tom off to do bizarre summations. He literally would cut him off when he was revealing all the information people have been dying to get. Why 😭🤦🏻‍♀️

Unpopular opinion but I agree w Howie that Tom is getting way too much hate. I get why ppl are upset and shocked but idkw. For many seasons I saw this coming. They weren't happy anymore this break up was inevidentable. I also don't like how much Ariana is being victimized. She played a part in this r/l not working out. I mean Ariana was the other woman too!! Karma comes back around. I've been in the exact situation.

How this guy didn’t bother to binge watch season 10 for the interview is beyond. I had to sacrifice two days worth of my life to get myself up to date for scandoval.

Howie saying “but they weren’t married” is the biggest crock of shit ever. So unprepared for this interview.

Wow, what a thrilling interview! Even with a generous interviewer like Howie, Sandoval still managed to dig himself deeper in his hole full of excuses and delusion. My heart breaks for Ariana who had to hear him say all this about her after everything he put her through. He and Rachel deserve each other!

I kind of love the good cop bad cop. They’re making him feel safe enough to divulge but still calling him out at every turn. Pretty brilliant set up.

I never thought I’d wind up in a situation like this- Ive worked too hard for my image, business, integrity… everything. Note the order of importance of the things he worked hard on and the total absence of Ariana or the relationship in that list

Howie should have just said “boys will be boys” and saved us 1:19:03

Good lordddddd the narcissism is REAL. The entire way he spoke about the scandal was ALL self-centred and took ZERO accountability for his behaviour. He justifies his behaviour by l deflecting and shifting blame to everyone but himself. The constant blaming of Ariana is disgusting. He betrayed his gf of 9 years with one of his gf’s best friends. Then they both lied and hid it behind her back for months… it doesn’t get worse than that. No wonder why Ariana lost interest in him, he lacks depth and awareness. He doesn’t have the capacity to consider others everything is only seen through his perception of what’s beneficial for him

James said it best. Tom is a "worm with a mustache". He legit looks like a Disney villain.

narcs love to point out every reason someone else did something wrong but never what they did, and never what they did to cause such a reaction.

Howie talking about how his soap box is mental health yet he’s given this guy a platform to blame his partners mental health for him cheating is just… there isn’t a word for how disgusting this is.

Am I the only one listening to Howie defend and articulate Tom’s position who is wondering if Howie is doing the same damn thing right now because he’s definitely supportive of what Tom did.

I love Tom Sandoval you can burn,grill toast and even fry him I'll still be team Tom❤❤❤ I've seen him throughout the seasons. Its a pity he wasn't honest with Ariana about breaking up with her sooner other than that good riddance Tom❤❤❤

i think the primary issue here that’s not been spoken on……. feels like tom literally does not understand the difference between love and infatuation….. you didn’t love raquel. you were infatuated with her.

Howie is so dismissive of his daughter and also justifying the situation.