The rest of the world needs to catch up with this knowledge. I still live in an imaginary world and relate to animals as my best friends.

I can 100% relate to this video. I am almost 35 and just discovered I have Asbergers. I broke down when I found out. Everything that’s ever happened in my entire life makes sense. I am an Italian woman (from the U.S) and I was in turmoil as a kid as to why I wasn’t the typical Italians women and couldn’t express myself. My family made it aware to me and I felt like an alien. Great video!

30+ yrs consulting Drs for suicidal depression, anxiety, low self-esteem; not ONE even *mentioned* Aspergers! *Finally* diagnosed, I believe AS is a gift to society; it's the clever, kind, creative, honest, tolerant & interesting people, but I'm also sad for so many years I spent determined to 'mend' me - Self-help books, alcohol

As an aspie, I accidentally started crying because every single thing he said (including the relationship thing) was 100% super true. EVERY SINGLE THING!!!

I don't think I've ever related to a 6 minute video this much in my life. I was very anxious as a child, in fact I had selective mutism, which can occur more often in children with ASD than NT kids. However, I was a very "well behaved" child, especially in school. I was terrified of getting in trouble, being noticed, being singled out. I felt that if I were singled out, then everyone would realize that I was different. I learned how to project a mask in social situations, a mask that I still wear, in order to pass as "normal". I was obsessed with fantasy novels, imaginary play, and have always had a strong affinity toward animals. I have been called the Cat Whisperer for many years, and I consider my cats to be some of my closest friends. I have always gravitated toward caregiver goals, and have always experienced an enormous amount of empathy, as well as being predisposed to compassion fatigue. I feel like a sponge sometimes in that I absorb the pain of other people and of animals to such a degree that I often feel overwhelmed, almost as though I am directly experiencing that pain myself. I began drinking and using drugs at a young age. It made me feel more comfortable with socializing. I always wanted to be social, but found it painful in a way, and drinking especially numbed that pain and allowed me to be a person that I just wasn't naturally. I have noticed in my two years of being sober that I do not socialize nearly as much as I used to. I find it SO exhausting, and if I am in a social group situation, I have to put so much effort into trying to say and do the right thing that I often break down afterwards from being overstimulated and burnt out, like my battery has become critically low. Afterwards, I need lots of time to recharge, and it will often be weeks or even months before I am prepared to socialize in a group again. I have fallen prey to predatory men throughout my dating life, especially when I was younger, not able to fully grasp the fact that some people will purposefully abuse and use people. I could never imagine myself doing that or imagine that people could be that cruel, so I wasn't able to protect myself as well as I should have. I have recently come to the conclusion, upon researching just how differently girls and women present with ASD vs their male counterparts, that I must have ASD. I haven't identified with a diagnoses as strongly as this in a while; the other times I have felt that was when I realized that I was an addict and also a codependent. Realizing that I likely have autism explains SO much of my life, the past and the present, how I feel about myself and how I interact with the world. I have had the almost horrifying realization that I don't truly know who I am without the "mask", as I am so used to having it on, sometimes more and sometimes less of course, depending on the situation and who I am with. However, it is almost always on to some degree. It's scary, but also I feel intense relieve, to finally know that there wasn't anything wrong with me to begin with. I am not a failure, I am just different.

I didn't pursue a career in psychology because listening to the horrible stuff people do to each other is heavy on a soul.

The shame I have dealt with for decades because I always have tried to hide that I am different and and I always have to figure out how to react. It's easier to be alone. Safer. I am not stupid but it's probably easy to take advantage of me. For that reason I am extremely wary of everyone. Why don't people just be straightforward? What is the truth? I can understand facts. Unfortunately the gray areas are a puzzle without clues. I can tell stories about anything. It's very comforting to explore different realities. Interesting.

Absolutely spot on for me.......now what? I am a 74 year old recently retired pediatric occupational therapist, and a damn good one. I related so well with my kiddos and learned so much. As I look back I realize how therapeutic they were for me. I recently came upon articles about female autism and was blown away. Explains every single thing I have struggled with in my life. So what do I do now?

I am in tears as I watch this, at 45 I still struggle to get a diagnosis. But this video here, this helps me know who I am is ok. I cannot believe that a person I have never met can describe me so accurately.

I find psychology very interesting, I’ve just realised I have always watched people and how they react to situations and memorised them and then copied them, I mask and it is very tiring, I’m 35 an only last year did the penny drop an I hibernated from everyone for a month, it’s mind blowing to go through so many years of life not realising you have asd, everything made sense, losing friends, people saying I’m rude or blunt when I never meant to be, social anxiety, taking comments literally, I’ve been a chameleon for years

I am a psychotherapist with Aspergers!! Thank you so much for all your videos!

I was just told I am not on the spectrum for all the traitss you just described, like that I am caring & good with kids, even though my AQ is 49 out of 50. The psychiatrist said I was too smart to be on the spectrum. I was so relieved when a previous psychologist said I was on the spectrum, and felt I finally found my tribe. But she apparently never wrote it in my file as official. Now I can't stop crying & am not sure why.

Just found out at 73 years old that I' m an Aspie female ...always felt like an alien who was sent here to study humans (still don't understand them) LOL

I was said I can’t be on the spectrum because I have such a vivid imagination. Autistic people are supposed to be interested in small part of machines, in the mechanics of it and incapable of imaginary play. This masculine diagnostic criteria can be fatal for girls on the spectrum. I was in psychiatric care and therapy since I am eight years old, but always with a different diagnosis. ADHD, emotional disorder, social anxiety... never did they really get my problem and they still don’t. It is frustrating. Finally I know why I am different and that there are people like me out there and than I can’t be part of this group because I am female😭

Dr. Atwood knows me deep down in my soul without looking at me! He even knows exactly what happened to my life!

I followed Mr Attwood for quite while, but found that his work only looks at the outward characteristics of people with ‘Aspergers’. I actually believed this was all that I was - someone ‘with Aspergers’! However, I knew that there were reasons for my dysfunctional beliefs about myself, my ADHD, my loneliness, my lack of self-worth, my perfectionism, etc, and have since found the work of Dr Gabor Maté, who has written amazing books about ADHD, beliefs about the self, addictions and his latest, “The Myth of Normal”. He also now gives talks around the world and has a plethora of interviews online, where he explains how childhood traumas, even going back through generations, influence our emotional well-being and beliefs about who we are. His work has changed my life!

Just diagnosed with Autism today. It's a relief really. I've been off-the-rails most of my life. I'm 55. Life is a game on hard mode. Hoping to get support whereby I might be able to socialise. What if I just hate it? What if I'm too ingrained now to be able to socialise? What if I just love being alone? Ugh, I'm panicking and overthinking as usual.

Yes!! Aspire therapy: by Aspies, for Aspies!!

I have a son with high functioning autism and I really relate to the chameleon type of personality. I always read books when I was young and very very gullible. I was excellent at spelling always perfect scores.

I'm very much into psychology myself, and have been thinking about pursuing a career in psychology. I'm inspired. I'd like to be one of the ones involved in creating that psychotherapy!

You're an amazing man & an absolute credit to those on the spectrum! I'm going to add this video to both my channels....

I resonate so much with this. I’m 36 and I finally figured out why I always feel weird have a hard time connecting with people.Constantly questioning myself if I’m a good mother. Gullible and I always think through what I will say lol

I was unable to bond with my children. I was looking around seeing literally everyone else being able to do this effortlessly. This made me feel like some kind of freak anomaly, so I hid under a rock and cried more than anyone else I've ever heard of, for years. This is what hurt me the most, I want that bond more than anything I could ever think of. I didn't know I was autistic until I was 57, this year. Now it all makes sense and I can forgive myself. I am not the horrible, heartless, P.o.S. my family insists that I am. I am so much stronger, honest, and smarter than they will ever know.

Five minutes of this man absolutely READING me! WOW 🙌

Okay, but did I miss the part where he talked about Comorbid disorders?

I love the way Tony explains things. He is brilliant. I also found 2:16 hilarious when he tries to swear subtly hahaha

This is me all over. Thank you Tony.

Arrivare a capirsi...e'un lavoro lungo..E faticoso...ma ci si arriva.Meglio tardi (Anche con tanta sofferenza)che mai.Complimenti e grazie a chi carica questi video.

I feel like you're talking about me. I'm 46 and it makes me sad that I've always felt 'not right' and I'm only figuring out why now.

This is like describing my life..

It’s the 1st video i watch on Women Aspergers and it feels as if you’re describing me......

Oddly enough, I'm a (teen) guy in the process of diagnosis and this 100% describes me. Thanks 4 the help... just don't forget us fems too :)

I was only diagnosed once I couldn't mask anymore, and I didn't even know that I was masking!

This is brilliant, Tony. I always leave your videos filled with hope. You are the antidote to everything else.

This evening in the local shop I was asked if I wanted a bag for my groceries. I was slow to respond to such a simple question because I was trying to calculate do I need one and my fiancé said no, we don't. Job done, and I love him for little things like that. Bigger questions such as having children: for me it was always absolutely not, for as Tony said Aspie women often don't make good choices when it comes to partners and I never felt I'd found a man who would be a good father for children until I met the man I'm now with (who is an amazing hubby-to-be and dad to his adult son), but it's a bit late for that. I wasn't even sure I'd have made a good mother, although I'd have been as devoted to a child as my mother was to me, albeit maybe too much so I'd probably have become totally obessed with their wellbeing and education. It was illogical and irresponsible to become a parent under those circumstances. Aged 47 (and failing to take into account pre-menopausal changes, which I still don't understand and dont care about, to my mind that's what an IUD is for) I had a pregnancy scare with my good man and I cried hard, knowing I was too old to start this journey and wishing I'd met him 10 years earlier. As things stand NOT having children was the right thing for me, I wouldn't have risked little ones getting fucked up because of my ways, which I haven't sussed the why of until recently. I only hope generations to come gain more understanding of themselves and don't miss out like I did. I'm not sore about it, I just wish I knew what I was earlier so I would have been better able to judge my own behaviour and plan my life.

i escape into making art and sharing it online.

Absolutely relating! Thank you very much!

I can relate to everything in this discription. I am waiting for my evaluation after my daughter got her diagnosis.

absolutely true i reconize myself in this

I was taken advantage of several times and never could comprehend until years later

wow, so spot on. All of it. Additionally, the CC of this talk is hilarious

Thank you so much for this!🙏🏻❤️😊

He just described my entire life, right down to reading and writing fantasy novels and the bad relationships.

Exactly, scripted communication. It's much less anxiety inducing than the kind of socializing at parties where people's purposes and intentions are not clear. When I was young I got involved in a group that taught public speaking skills and despite being really shy I was surprisingly good at making speeches I liked drama class too in high school. I am also pretty empathetic despite the stereotype that Autistic people aren't. I'm a male with Aspergers, but I can relate to a lot of this. I think part of why women with Aspergers/Autism don't get identified is they aren't expected at a young age to play sports and or to act more socially assertive. For males with Autism it can be hard to find a romantic partner having to initiate things, for females the challenge is probably more, not picking the wrong ones... I would actually love to be a therapist and maybe help other Autistic people but I struggle with school and getting through 8+ more years of it.

Very true everything he said

"a typical mother intuitively knows how to be a good mother", as much as I respect Tony's word, he dropped the ball here. He chose politness v. reality. Many, many women dont have a clue, and the closer the mothers are to the c.XXI the worst. They are just as terrified as anyone else with a baby in their hands. If dont believe, just check the colossal number of baby blues and related issues.

I feel happiest when I'm in Lalaland

I found out I'm an aspie bc of my 3rd child, Isaiah. Hes me, put into a blender, & poured into a little boys body. So I thought maybe I had Aspergers syndrome as well. It turns out I do. It explains and answers all my questions and holes in my life up until now, 44 yrs. I always thought maybe I was part alien. But now I want to meet other aspie females so i can have ppl to relate to.

How do you know this so precisely - amazing!!

This was great. I would like to add that this very much can be true for the atypical (sensing) man as well.

It's like he's talking about me. I looove animals the most and I'm a kindergarten teacher. Kids love me and I love them when I'm at work. But as soon as I'm off the work I'll do anything to not come into contact with kids. I'm great with kids but I can't talk with their parents. When parents come pick them up I'm still talking to the kids and can barely say anything to the parents, if I do, it's always the same thing.

Thank you for this interview. What are the distinguishing features of a woman with AS vs one with CPTSD? And what about a woman with both AS and CPTSD?

I love this so muchh

Brilliant video. Thank you for sharing. :)

Thankyou for this Crying

So so spot on! - Yes LOVE psychology (but out of the box psychology, not the textbook stuff). I did counselling for a short time till people began crying at 55 minutes into the session (and I'd always go overtime because I didn't have the heart to shove them out the door). - Didn't have children - I wanted very high standards and a strong marriage - so didn't think I was up for it (but have NO regrets). - Did have dogs instead, and am mad about animals (I housesat for 2 years minding animals - best time of my life!) - Best to be self employed if possible. (Tho I held down the same job for 11 years) - Always felt like an alien - Couldn't maintain close relationships with other females (not that I didn't want women as friends but I always sabotaged them) - Related well to boys activities when younger (had a bmx bike, surfboard etc), didn't want to sit and talk about boys with a group of girls. - Overall you CAN grow out of Borderline Personality Disorder (more prominent for me in my teenage/early 20's years), - You do grow to become intuitive when older (48 now) - as you get burnt from trusting too much and being so naive in friendships - Now I don't want to be around anyone. I am in a lovely relationship but struggle to death with any of his family social gatherings as they all talk about real estate, houses, material stuff. - You can grow to just love yourself and be satisfied with that. When I housesat, animals were my instant family.

I love this guy, now I know why he is highly regarded

I can really relate to this video. As I myself find it easier with animals than people. I find behaviour interesting and often been told to stop staring. I did psychology and an currently doing Psychotherapy. I've had support over the years but only recently been asked if if been assessed for ASD. Only now I'm feeling that someone actually understands me.

Absolutely!!!

You described me. Dreamy, imagination, other worlds are better, well behaved, great actress ( in sales) I'm a mother. An offer achieving mother to a 15 yr old boy. We're exceptional together. I rock back and forth. I doubtful myself in public. But managed to create a lot of places to be alone i.e. car, my office, my home. I'm a great writer. I have a blog i use as a diary of sorts. To chew on ideas and concepts. Thank you for this video.

I can relate to a few of the characteristics of Autism Spectrum disorders, particularly from my growing-up years. But not all. I've visited with a Psychologist, who suggests that I am more likely to fit into the Highly Sensitive Personality category. Professor Tony Attwood, what are your thoughts on this new way of categorising the experiences of adults? It this a helpful piece of information to have?

Por favor en español,necesito

I came here to pick him apart but he has actually just described me so...

This is really fucking weird because I literally just felt like I was fully understood by a man who had never met me.

Provide a short list....here....

I love when he makes that "no" sound

just remembered while watching this how in highschool there was a sort of little joke that one classmate used to say. it was about me taking a minute to reply to whatever he asked me. he used to be like "haha do you need more time to answer? haha" and i always said "no, i don't" but then learned it was sarcasm...

The one time I went to hear Tony Attwood speak I heckled him.

Later diagnosis and studying psychology so future studies Tony let me know :)

❤

Wow... Im litterly crying right now !!!!!!!!!! Omg he realy knows what hes talking about . Wow. I just found out I have Asperger's Syndrome Autism spectrum disorder I'm going through so many things right now it's incredibly hard this man truly doesn't know what he's talking about. As an adult it's almost 50 years old I have four children five grandchildren in the part about being a mother really hit home. Besides my culture Italian and Irish and African-American just being a female in the area that I grew up in the era where they had lack of knowledge about autism spectrum disorder and Asperger syndrome not enough research to help people cope and heal in measurable ways. I live in the US and I'm finding that adult autism is just completely ignored and there really isn't much help here I'm considering moving it would be a challenge since I also have a agoraphobia. It's been so frustrating but this gave me Hope Thank You

Yes to all of these ... except for the still expression, if anything I exadurate my facial expressions ~ However, I am wondering if much of this is a learnt/masking thing. I am 37, and only after my son being recently diagnosed >And the Dr saying to me "I hope that you understand yourself a little better now too" have I gone aaah oh okay 😅

hi do you think i have schizo aspergers?

Thanks for the explanation. Yes autistic women are faced to many predators during their lives. They are more susceptible to violence. Your video is precise.

Knowing that this video was made 7 years ago, it's no surprise my email was failed to be delivered. Please, I am trying to get ahold of a professional when it comes to woman with Asperger's. I believe I am myself and currently I am seeking a diagnosis but I am afraid they won't help me because they don't have enough experience

It sounds like Aspergers is part of my problem

🙌♥️🙌

Great video

o my God.

Please note - motherhood is "if" not "when." In countries where contraception and abortion are available, women have agency over their own reproductive systems, and can choose whether or not to have children at all. And given that more and more women who have the choice are choosing not to have children, using "women" and "mother" as synonyms is inaccurate at best.

Why aren’t girls still not getting dx in the uk

I think my wife might be an "aspie". What can I do for her as a supportive husband?

I'm not sure at all that I have asperger's but watching his videos and relating a lot to what he says.. I wished I could meet (and afford) an experienced psychiatrist to figure out what's wrong with me

I don't know about having a still face or taking a while to reply (although I do police behaviour) but the first part is just a description of my childhood and teenage years, down to the piercings. Uncanny!

Well, this dude's got my name, rank and serial number!! I'VE BEEN EXPOSED!!! OY VEY!! How do I feel about it?? Jeez, I dunno. Relieved that I'm not living under a rock or that I come from an intergalactic planet no one's ever heard of or would want to hear about. Glad I'm a woman with Aspie because I'm FREE to be imaginative, creative, caring, passionate about what interests me and what I care about. Being a woman with Aspies, no one can question my sexuality - still such a vital issue with men, and something I hope will change extremely quickly for the good of all humankind and a better, more peaceful world. I'm not saying that women are gentler, more peaceful creatures, however, not by a long f***ing shot!! 98% of the bullying, cruelty and degradation I suffered that lead me to escape into imagination was at the hands of women, starting with my own mother. But to have had masculinity and virility to add to my anxieties and esteem deficiencies would have sent me over the edge with a plastic bag over my head!! 😬

I wish you were my evaluator. I would be way more confident. I'm overprepared yet still scared with all I hear about difficulties evaluating women.

Dr Attwood: I'm an older woman on the spectrum. I have profound sensory integration issues, manifesting as misophonia, w the usual trigger sounds, smacking noises chief among them. I really want to partake of your wisdom, but the smacking.....if it really can't be helped, how about hiring someone to edit it out?????

Very good, although I take one exception to what was said about women having an innate ability to be a good mother. This has been somewhat bred out of modern women. It used to take the whole village to raise a single child but we don’t do that any more. There are baby-monitors to use if you want to get some housework done while bubby is asleep… not an extended family member who will actually be there to tend to the baby if it wakes up. We have become so far removed from what we should have been that the whole world is paying for it now. And maybe there wouldn’t be so many neurodiverse people in the world if we’d stuck a little more closely to nature ❤️

Aspies women can smile sometimes, meanwhile we are relax. for my own experience i keep a straight face when i’m not feeling confortable, when i have to stay for many hours rounded by a lot of people in the same place, for example the school, i can’t help the fact that is difficult to me to stare at the people, and when i do, it’s just for few seconds. But we can smile 🤷🏻‍♀️😊

I wish I could talk to him one on one 😫

I had to look away because I was enjoying the Italian subtitles too much.

I wish you could know me and tell me if I am probably an aspie or not it would make things so much easier. I am going through the process of getting an aspie evaluation. It is a very emotional process. At 39yrs old it feels weird. It puts my whole life in questioning. After an adhd diagnosis that I did on the spure of the moment not realizing the depth of what I was doing. I have a difficulty understanding myself and being precise in my explanations. Expressing myself has always been difficult. It makes me mad. Everything is so complex. It's not just a no or yes answer. It's often relative. Or the question is to vague to answer. How can I be truthful if the precision is not there. It's frustrating. Part of me thinks that I am an aspie and another part of me eats away at me with doubt. Life is really difficult these days. I finished school which I love like crazy. I got a job and then got fired because I'm too slow and now I have to wait three weeks to start looking for jobs. It's driving me crazy I find work stressful but not having a routine is worse. I should be enjoying my vacation but it's hard. I wonder if I will be good enough. I just want my routine back but maybe a less stressful one which is my goal. Anyways good video. :)

Thank you doc for your good work It’s been months now and my child has improved completely since using your herbs. His therapist and school teacher has confirmed his improvement and this makes me happy God bless you Dr Idemudia

One thing Tony didn't mention is that being "a carer" is a culturally encouraged behaviour in females in the West. Females are actively punished for not showing caring behaviour throughout childhood. I care about animals and insects but can't stand the pressure or continuous attention needed to be a carer for them, let alone humans. "Caring" is a way to show loyalty and keep friendships, punishable by ostracism and rejection. It annoyed me he was like, oh ALL of the females are good to go into "caring" professions. What year was this interview? I hope he's learned better by now! We're not ALL the same, some might be good carers but others might be better being in Marketing or Town Planning or Chemistry Research. The careers he mentions are symptomatic of a minority gaining recognition and power and of cultural bias.

I tend to slide over into 'roles' too,in order to underscore points,it gets a bit to realistic sometimes and people go wtf.Like telling my 7 year old ,ehhh ,why can't I get to play with the toy?Or telling a control freak ,you can't tell me what to do,you aren't my real dad.Both said in a kids way.

I Like you

Hi, how can I tell someone that I think she had Asperger? She is my ex girlfriend just breakup again who live with her parents we are still in contact… without they think I only want shittalk about her… she got many of this symptome copying mostly her mom, hate to left her home (we lived together), she getting nervous, want to go home asap, I feel she cant read emotions really well, she use common comunication panels, which doesnt fit in the situations, tonn of silly routine like she have to watch disney movie to fall a sleep. non-autonomous, really naive on the first week she told me her credit card pin number and so, problem in every social situation, she got frustrated and turn silent front of other people, take everything direct!!! sometimes just turn off and stare nothing… just applied 8th different uni/course in last 5 year without finishing any of them and all because she wasnt able communicare there, only boy “friends” from the past many of them take advantage of her “naivety”. now she really mad at me, but I have to communicate it somehow.

How to get screened in the United States when raised as female, transitioned to male 25 years ago. Screened then by three psychologists to rule out and Axis II. Approved for surgery. Content with results. Psychology major who dropped out last semester to go into "caring profession." Lost job after 26 years because of new productivity billing increase standard in corporate industry. Lack of social skills to communicate rapidly and establish rapport. Went to request an ASD screening referral and was instead given an Axis II disorder by a new medical doctor who insisted I go to inpatient psychiatric where I needed to accept the Axis II including her opinion all my surgeries were a mistake. I explained to her I "knew enough at 52 to know I didn't have AxisII behavior because I dated two of them." She said only a doctor could tell me who I was and she knew that was an an Axis II. Because I lost my job my insurance went through but was retroactively pulled. I owed her 479.00 which took me six months to get paid. Had I followed her instructions and gone to inpatient it would have been 3,500 per day and I was going to be there a LONG time if doctors expected me to behave well in a new environment and convince me my transition and surgeries were a mistake. No Axis II needs to go through transition or surgery...for a reason. I have enough of a self identity, I have no regrets...but other than my psychiatrist of 4 years who gave me the ASD diagnosis after I saw the medical doctor...I have nothing. The psychiatrist just died unexpectedly. 8 months later, I am still not changing my story, I pay my bills, but I will be homeless very soon if I don't get some help.

Grief, Guilt, Shame and Regret... you can only do more research on this condition to better the understanding of yourself and become your own healer... 98% of doctors made the decision only against becoming a lawyer instead.

I've been unofficially counseling people my whole life...people just come to me for some reason. I considered majoring in psychology, but college was just too kindergarten for me. I felt like I was wasting my time, even after testing out of the maximum number of classes. Independent studies should be valued more in this country. That would be HUGE for Aspies like me!