Top 36 British Euphemisms (Best British Slang) |Americans React to UK Slang 🇬🇧

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Top 36 British Euphemisms (Best British Slang) |Americans React to UK Slang 🇬🇧

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Күн бұрын

With the help of our subscribers, we've compiled a list of the best 36 British euphemisms and idioms which you should start using! These brilliant UK slang phrases and euphemisms will boost your panache and help you swap harsh and vulgar truths for more acceptable expressions.
Need to use the toilet? Eww, don't say that - "toilet" is officially vulgar! Instead, say, "Right, I'm off to spend a penny" or, "Sorry, I've got to see a man about a dog." See? You're doing better already. Cheers, love 🥂
Are you British? Which iconic UK euphemisms did we miss? Share them with us in the comments!
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Пікірлер: 1 700

@michaelscott7166 4 жыл бұрын

"He's brilliant at delegating" A boss that doesn't do any work.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Love this one! 😂 Thanks for sharing :)

@seejaybee71 4 жыл бұрын

"He has a Teflon desk" - no job sticks to it, everything gets delegated.

@wulfrunian 4 жыл бұрын

“A full and frank discussion took place”. The number of times I used that one when writing up minutes of the club I used to be secretary of in the 1970s.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Hearing that this phrase is used in official contexts makes it so much better! Thank you for the additional insight, Peter :D

@Kevin-mx1vi 3 жыл бұрын

"Full and frank discussion" = nose to nose shouting match in which both parties express their view of each other, usually in "emphatic language". Usually applied by the civil service to describe in polite terms a private meeting between two politicians that strongly disagree with each other. 😁

@mickbacon8542 4 жыл бұрын

One of my favourites - "deep pockets, short arms" - means tight with money. { a common accusation against Yorkshiremen)

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Love this one! 😂

@brianwhittington5086 4 жыл бұрын

@Darth Wheezius I think that comes from it being watertight, when they're paddling along or duck diving to feed under the water surface.

@brianwhittington5086 4 жыл бұрын

@Darth Wheezius well that's what I've always believed to be the case, you never know though if someone found a different meaning ? There's also the old saying often heard up here in Yorkshire. When you're told something that's a bit questionable, a common reply is to say- "I've heard ducks fart before" Could have come from the same source maybe ? Coincidentally Duck quacks aren't supposed to echo, debate is still open on that theory !

@brianwhittington5086 4 жыл бұрын

@Mick Bacon That's a myth made up about us by the Scots because we say the bagpipes sound like someone is holding a Scotsmans ball.

@brianwhittington5086 4 жыл бұрын

@Darth Wheezius ha ha, that's probably why it's said, watertight so it doesn't suck water in to replace the escaping methane, blub blub blub

@JohannaInTheCorner 4 жыл бұрын

Have you heard: Fur coat, no knickers. (Said about someone superficial, they have things considered extravagant, but essential items you don’t see.. they forgo to get the showy items)

@jacketrussell 4 жыл бұрын

Red hat.......no drawers.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing that one with us!

@cleoldbagtraallsorts3380 4 жыл бұрын

This is one of my favourites, but it does conjure up the image of an expensive lady of the night.

@davew4998 4 жыл бұрын

@@cleoldbagtraallsorts3380 Yes, that's what I've always taken it to mean, as in a woman who dresses in finery but we all know what she really is. Not that I'm judging.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

@@cleoldbagtraallsorts3380 That's what we thought too 😂

@scollyb 4 жыл бұрын

A blue moon is a second full moon in a calendar month, and they happen about once a year. So once in a blue moon is less an idiom than an obscure phrase

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for setting me straight there! I didn't know blue moons were a real thing!

@scollyb 4 жыл бұрын

@Darth Wheezius volcano ash can turn the moon blue but that isn't the origin of the term.

@gavinparks5386 4 жыл бұрын

@Darth Wheezius That was a blue sunset actually , I believe.

@stevehills709 3 жыл бұрын

every 2.5 years

@GenialHarryGrout 4 жыл бұрын

I laughed all the way through that. One from me, "The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead"

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

So glad you enjoyed the video! And thank you for sharing that euphemism with us - made both of us laugh :D

@diosyntaxa 4 жыл бұрын

@@WanderingRavens I'd say that one is in the same vein as "One sandwich short of a picnic" or "A few cards short of a deck", love those. The lights are on bu nobody's home is another version :D

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

@@diosyntaxa 😂😂 Thank you for those

@allenwilliams1306 4 жыл бұрын

Or: “The lights are on, but there's nobody at home”.

@GSD-hd1yh 3 жыл бұрын

"They are working on a 5 second delay"

@MrTrull1 4 жыл бұрын

“Take a long walk on a short pier.” - ie. go away/get lost.

@lipkinasl 4 жыл бұрын

I used that one just this week :)

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

This is useful!

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

@@lipkinasl oooo is there a story here?

@lipkinasl 4 жыл бұрын

@@WanderingRavens The timetable I'd written, and was about to send for processing had been re-called for edits 3 times for various reasons - all valid, and none my fault, and each of them half a day apart. When we finally got the processing and edits done for the 3rd time, I said to my boss "If anyone comes and asks for any more edits tell em to take a long walk off a short pier". He didn't disagree :)

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

@@lipkinasl Thank you for the story! Glad to hear these euphemisms are used in professional settings too and not just pub banter :D

@olly5764 4 жыл бұрын

"Something for the weekend" is why the small packs of condoms have three in, one for Saturday, one for Sunday, and one for luck. Grace, swap boulangerie for "Bakers" and your baguette saying would be a classic British one! Eric, why would we want to say things to AVOID confusing Americans? Its one of our favourite sports! Keep it up!

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

I'll swap it for "Bakers" next time we're in the UK! So glad you enjoyed the video!

@finncullen 4 жыл бұрын

Condoms always used to be sold in packs of one, three or twelve. The joke was that the single pack was for young men to keep in their wallet in case they got lucky. The three pack was for single guys with a girlfriend, who would want one for Friday, one for Saturday, one for Sunday. The twelve pack was for married men - one for January, one for February...

@adashingblade900 3 жыл бұрын

@@finncullen condoms were sometimes sold by gentlemen Barbers, the question would be whispered quietly during your haircut on a saturday morning....

@JimpZee 4 жыл бұрын

You are *correct* about "going to see a man about a dog". It means going to do something that you don't want to divulge. If it's said in response to a direct question such as "where are you off to?", then it basically means "mind your own business".

@craftsmanwoodturner 4 жыл бұрын

But can also be used as a euphemism for going to the toilet.

@LucifersTear 4 жыл бұрын

Wow, you guys use this one SO DIFFERENTLY. I've always known "off to see a man about a dog" to mean: You have to leave because you have sex planned. Referring to the exact inverse: "off to see a woman about a P*ssy" It is more loosely used In the Midlands to mean you have to leave to do something you couldn't possibly describe in any more detail publicly. Purposely leaving your friends questioning whether you're "on a promise" or not. You certainly wouldn't use it if you were going to return soon otherwise you will very much be frowned upon for not being a very good 'performer' 😂

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Good to know we weren't completely off on that one! Thanks for giving us some ore contexts, Jimp!

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

@@craftsmanwoodturner Good to know

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

@@LucifersTear Slang varies so much region by region in the UK!

@hlund73 4 жыл бұрын

Reminded of an old poetic phrase to share with you today... "She bangs like a shithouse door in a gale", who says romance is dead 😐

@markfisher8198 3 жыл бұрын

"She rattles like a milk float" :)

@HuwBass 3 жыл бұрын

"And she bangs like a shithouse door when the plague's in town"

@mrjohn.whereyoufrom 4 жыл бұрын

“There and back to see how far it is”. When you don’t wish to divulge on where you are going when asked.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Love this one! 😂

@allenwilliams1306 4 жыл бұрын

Looked through replies. Can''t see “he can''t tell his arse from his elbow”, the classic dismissal of a simpleton!

@merlinadams8797 4 жыл бұрын

As thick as two short planks is another one.

@silverknight4886 3 жыл бұрын

@@merlinadams8797 Two prawns short of a barbie (Australian) In use in the UK

@lindsayheyes925 3 жыл бұрын

That is about someone who is confused. Sadly, it is a fairly accurate description of a person with severe dementia.

@douglastodd1947 3 жыл бұрын

Allen Williams if brains were made out of dynamite they wouldn't have enough to blow themselves up .

@amethyst1826 3 жыл бұрын

@@douglastodd1947 I love that one!

@MrJonno85 4 жыл бұрын

2:00 I think the term "something for the weekend" comes from the expectation that a young man might hit the town (with all its temptations) at the weekend, free from the need to get up early for work the next day. I'm sure some coitus occured during the week.

@brendanlinnane5610 3 жыл бұрын

In the olden days, it was illegal to advertise contraceptives. They were sold by barbers, who would ask the customers whether they needed "something for the weekend". It would have been illegal for the barber to directly ask: "Do you want to buy condoms". Chemists sold condoms, but they were not on display, and you had to ask for them. Contraceptives were indirectly advertised as "rubber goods", which could include diaphragms, Dutch caps and condoms.

@Trag1cVision 4 жыл бұрын

I love you two. The English language is so malleable; you can make up whatever you like. If it catches on then it becomes consensus. The pond isn't that small.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Awww, thank you for the support and encouragement! We appreciate you :) And yes, it's so true, English is a very fluid language.

@alisonyoung1632 3 жыл бұрын

Did you guys say 'mardy' when taking about teenagers? That's a very Sheffield slang word, so you use that in the States also or have you picked that up here?

@nicholasholt5995 4 жыл бұрын

Still love the "mowing an old lady's lawn". One of my favourites, again to mean stupid, is "as thick as two short planks". Love your content! Keep it up :) x

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

I'm glad you enjoyed Eric's contribution to the grand realm of euphemism 😂😂

@kucintaful 3 жыл бұрын

"Going to see a man about a dog" actually is when someone asks or enquires what you're doing or where you're going, your telling them to mind their own business x

@amethyst1826 3 жыл бұрын

Or you're off to the pub!

@mariafhpurcell 3 жыл бұрын

I spent my younger years actually waiting for someone to come back with a dog for me 🤣 No wonder I ended up with 2 in the 1st year of leaving home 😆

@mikedakin2016 4 жыл бұрын

when he said 'we don't have a queen in the US' I spat my tea out ! the irony .

@RichardASK 3 жыл бұрын

Shall we all name them? I'll start with Liberace..........!

@sjchan3199 3 жыл бұрын

Mmmmm i can think of a few

@amethyst1826 3 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣

@laurenblachford1501 4 жыл бұрын

a good euphemism for spacey is “away with the fairies”

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Love it! 😂

@ront2424 4 жыл бұрын

@@WanderingRavens Australian version is a couple of tinnies short of a six pack.

@artfulsaladdodger 4 жыл бұрын

The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead.

@artfulsaladdodger 4 жыл бұрын

So you did. Apologies.

@artfulsaladdodger 4 жыл бұрын

It seems that not all my dogs are barking

@craftsmanwoodturner 4 жыл бұрын

One more for you: instead of "that's what she said", in the UK we usually say "as the actress said to the bishop".

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for letting us know!

@rogerjenkinson7979 4 жыл бұрын

Using this phrase you can turn almost any statement in to a smutty one because it reverses to suit the situation. It's centuries old. acting grew out of public performing in streets and pub yards and was considered as being on the same social level as cutpurses and prostitutes. The actress is a euphemism for the latter, as the word 'model' used to be when I was a lad.

@marmadukewinterbotham2599 4 жыл бұрын

Our parents used to say "Overheard in the blackout."

@rogerjenkinson7979 4 жыл бұрын

@@marmadukewinterbotham2599 ✔

@gorrthebutcher4696 4 жыл бұрын

vicker to the barmaid

@thisisnev 4 жыл бұрын

Another euphemism for when someone inadvertently 'drops their lunch' in company: "More tea, vicar?" And another Private Eye expression: 'Ugandan discussions'. This one originated in the early 70s when a government minister was caught 'in flagrante' with his secretary, and he gave the lame excuse that they had been discussing the current situation in Uganda. Still loving your content!

@tonycasey3183 4 жыл бұрын

Here In Yorkshire, in my living memory, some houses didn't have indoor toilets. They had a small, squat brick building in the backyard containing the toilet. It typical blunt Yorkshire vernacular, it was called "the shithouse". Well built, squat, muscly rugby players would be said to be "built like a brick shithouse" I always thought that "loo" was derived from the habit of throwing the contents of the chamber pot out of the bedroom window in the mornings, shouting "Gardez l'eau!" to warn those below of falling urine - l'eau becoming "loo". Not 100% sure about that though

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

As always, such an educational comment! Thank you, Tony!

@hectorthorverton4920 4 жыл бұрын

I think you're right. I associate 'gardez l'eau' with Scotland; indeed, the ship that used to take Glasgow's sewage sludge out into the Clyde estuary was the MV Gardyloo. It's now a pleasure steamer, and you can (though not at the moment) take a trip out in the Clyde aboard. They have, I'm pleased to say, cleaned it, but the hold is, er, out of use.

@andybaker2456 4 жыл бұрын

Yes, I remember learning in primary school about the "gardez l'eau" thing.

@williamjust 4 жыл бұрын

@@frglee - or "she bangs like a shithouse door when the plague's in town". Presumably from the idea that, if the people in your block have one of those diseases - such as cholera - that were common in older times, the outside toilet would be in constant use, with the door banging shut as people dash in. (For an example of this phrase, listen to 'Julie the Schoolie' by The Macc Lads!)

@blackbob3358 4 жыл бұрын

@@hectorthorverton4920 gardez l'eau comes from when they used to empty their pisspots out of window on to the street. ( pre mr crapper, obv.) ( it's french ,hector, meaning "look out for the water".)

@laserman9566 4 жыл бұрын

The toilet is called a crapper after Thomas Crapper. He was a business man and plumber born in 1836. He founded the Thomas Crapper & Co a sanitary equipment supplier he held 3 patents for the water closet

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Smart man!

@allenwilliams1306 4 жыл бұрын

@@WanderingRavens It is said that American troops in WW1 when posted to the UK were frequently confronted with “Thomas Crapper” on the WCs they used, and picked up the use of the term “Crapper” for the WC from there. It is a nice story.

@MrJonno85 4 жыл бұрын

2:40 George Brown was a bit before my time, by I've heard of some of his drunken exploits. Once at soirée, he was introduced to a high-ranking clergyman dressed in full clerical robes, who he duly addressed as 'madam'.

@hyweldavies936 4 жыл бұрын

The George Brown story I like is that he meets a lovely lady in a red gown at a diplomatic ball and asks her to dance. "I will not dance with you because (a) you are drunk, (b) they are playing the Peruvian national anthem, and (c) above all because I am not a lady but I am the Archbishop of Lima

@brianwhittington5086 4 жыл бұрын

The knocker upper from the previous video was often a young employee, sent out from the previous shift that was stil working. They made sure the worker answered so all the next shift were up, fed and at work on time. In some towns the lamp lighter, the person who lit and snuffed out the gas street lamps at dusk/dawn did it as a secondary income. He would have a shift list, or the worker would chalk the shift time on their house wall. I believe it's been a common practice from the industrial revolution times.

@stephencressey1 4 жыл бұрын

Brian Whittington a “ knocker upper” was someone who was paid to wake up people at a particular time.

@brianwhittington5086 4 жыл бұрын

@@stephencressey1 Yes people did it as an occupation but often did it as a second occupation. People who would be out and about on the streets, such as lamplighters, policemen, street cleaners etc. Workers often had a board or slate outside their house, they would chalk their shift time so the knocker up knew who to wake. Thats where the sayings," chalking up" and "put it on the slate" come from. It was common practice to send apprentices out to wake workers for their start time. Gas lamp lighter/extinguisher would often use their lamping pole to rap on upstairs windows and shutters. They didn't move on until the shift worker was seen to be up, at the door or window. It all depended on the area employer, factory, mine etc as to who or how many knockers were needed.

@lynnejames9419 2 жыл бұрын

My great grandfather was a “knocker up” . He worked in the steel mills and was always up early, so when he had to retire he had no income (no pensions for working people) so became a knocker up. He used to take a tin can of hot porter - strong ale heated by a poker from the fire-and his long pole to tap on peoples windows. Nan got up one day and he was sat in his chair with one boot on, the poker in his ale can, he had passed away. Everyone on his rounds was late for the cotton mill that day.

@grahvis 4 жыл бұрын

When I was young the standard phrase to say a womans petticoat was showing, was "Charleys dead". I think it died out when full skirts were produced with a strip of lace sewn along the hem to deliberately appear to be the bottom of a petticoat showing from beneath the skirt.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Oh! Never made the connection that the bit of lace along the hem was meant to indicate the petticoat. Scandalous!

@Randomner2562 4 жыл бұрын

I love regional sayings. Here in liverpool you’d often hear “gob wider than the Mersey tunnel” which basically means someone who doesn’t know how to be quiet. It’s one of my favourite sayings

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@PDJ10 4 жыл бұрын

And let's not forget "gorra head like Birkenhead"

@gavinparks5386 4 жыл бұрын

.... or a mouth like Grangemouth.

@Dougtheslugmcdoug 4 жыл бұрын

When fly zippers are low I tend to use “You’re flying low” or “have you got a license to fly that low’ seems to be used a lot in the south east and London.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing these 😂

@steveknight878 4 жыл бұрын

And another for the low-hanging petticoat is that your flying your flag at half mast - often morphed to "oh - has someone died then?" or "I see Charlies died"

@ataru4 4 жыл бұрын

Cool video, I love regional sayings. My grandparents used to say 'there's more out than in' when someone did something especially dumb. Meaning there's more stupid people out and about than in asylums. They had lots of Yorkshire sayings that aren't used any more cos ppl wouldn't understand like 'head like a set pot' meaning having a large head. A set pot was like a large cauldron. Someone shameless would be 'brass necked'. Someone mean with money could 'peel an orange in their pocket'.

@curleman 4 жыл бұрын

another one for you "not the sharpest tool in the box"

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

I think that Yanks may use this one too! Either that or we've heard it used by Brits before haha

@crose7412 4 жыл бұрын

"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer".

@LucifersTear 4 жыл бұрын

We use "Not the sharpest tool in the shed"

@timtombs6645 3 жыл бұрын

Bungalow head is one of my faves - as in “nothing upstairs”

@TwoOnions275 3 жыл бұрын

That was much the most common (80% of the time) euphemism for dim when I was growing up in the 80s.

@ignorablepizza 3 жыл бұрын

Regarding the zip being down, I always liked "he's flying without a licence"

@GSD-hd1yh 3 жыл бұрын

"The plane leaving the hangar"

@krushem8520 3 жыл бұрын

Nah. He is just "flying low"

@russcattell955i 3 жыл бұрын

The cage is open but the beast is asleep !

@petejones7878 4 жыл бұрын

watch the "Carry on Films " for double entendre,

@fritzfieldwrangle-clouder7299 3 жыл бұрын

I asked my Doctor for a double entendre so she gave me one.

@mrjohn.whereyoufrom 4 жыл бұрын

Bob’s your uncle meaning ‘there you have it’ or ‘there it is’.

@cleoldbagtraallsorts3380 4 жыл бұрын

Et voila!

@rogerjenkinson7979 4 жыл бұрын

If, like me, you like to confuse people, you could say" Robert is your mother's brother "

@NorthDownReader 3 жыл бұрын

Robert Peel was rather well known for nepotism.

@alicepretty7785 3 жыл бұрын

Bob's your uncle, and Fanny's your aunt.

@IveJustHadAPiss 4 жыл бұрын

There was a young man called Reg Who took a young girl to a hedge Then along came his wife With a large carving knife And cut off his meat and two veg!

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

This gave us both a hearty laugh 😂😂 Thank you for your poetic genius 😂

@IveJustHadAPiss 4 жыл бұрын

It's from a _Carry On_ film called _Carry On at Your Convenience_ . Carry Ons were a cultural reflection of post-war British humour, incorporating musical hall, postcard humour with frequent usage of euphemisms in both titles and dialogue. This type of humour was prevalent in the media until the 1980s when alternative comedy began to dominate both stand up and sitcoms in the UK. That said, this type of humour has persisted among the _hoi polloi_ , and is a regular feature of informal conversations.

@mikeward7367 4 жыл бұрын

@@IveJustHadAPiss How appropriate, given your username. Are you going to tell them? 😂👍🏻

@IveJustHadAPiss 4 жыл бұрын

@@mikeward7367 Shush! 😂 You know you're the first person to spot it, ever. In fact no-one's managed to read it out properly yet either! They can do the Mic part, but not the Turition bit. It's like my little one over on everyone else.

@tiger3249 4 жыл бұрын

The was an old man from china, Who wasnt a very good climber, He slipped on a rock, split open his cock And now he's got a vagina.

@thegingerwitch322 4 жыл бұрын

Slightly rude one: " I laughed so much I thought my knickers would never dry" I know the rain/petticoat one as " it's snowing down south" I was brought up with the idea that toilet was common and the word lavatory was the word you should use

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Oh my 😂😂 Thank you for those

@oz25 4 жыл бұрын

@@WanderingRavens You're flying low is another one for, as you say, xyz. xxx

@eileencritchley4630 4 жыл бұрын

Off to see a man about a dog = I'm off to see or do something. My father would say it every time he was off to the pub.

@bugbrian723 3 жыл бұрын

This is actually specifically about going to the pub i believe , the word dog being old northern slang for a bottle of Newcastle Brown .

@zargonthemagnificent330 4 жыл бұрын

"As the showgirl said to the vicar" - an old (popular in the 1950s) version of "that's what she said".

@busking6292 3 жыл бұрын

It's usually used to re-enforce a double-entendre i.e. 'it's too long' or 'is that too tight'?, +1000 others,you just tag the phrase on as an afterthought.

@edwright4892 4 жыл бұрын

Hilarious as always! As a Brit I learnt a couple of new ones myself.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Which were new for you? We love learning British slang and euphemisms so if you have any more you think we'd appreciate send them along! :)

@HankHopeless 4 жыл бұрын

"There's nothing missing in his lack of knowledge" and " I'ts never too late to give up hope "

@crumpleforeskin 3 жыл бұрын

these made me giggle :-)

@kimwall8285 4 ай бұрын

Great vid - and you're right 'going to see a man about a dog' doesn't mean going for a wee, it's a way of disguising what you're doing next.

@yorkshirerob4007 4 жыл бұрын

A few Yorkshire ones. Put wood in hole means close the door. You make a better door than a window means your blocking the tv

@markjonfoster4962 4 жыл бұрын

newcasle brown ale is called dog so going to see a man about a dog was said when the man is going to the pub ;))))

@goltandburlach 4 жыл бұрын

Sick as a dog as it makes you throw

@markjonfoster4962 4 жыл бұрын

@@goltandburlach no it doesn't it's a little taste of heaven but it has to be drank out of the bottle and not a glass lolol 😎😎😎😎

@goltandburlach 4 жыл бұрын

Too many nights at the talbot in Stockton calling to God on the great white telephone

@markjonfoster4962 4 жыл бұрын

@@goltandburlach 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 not that's just a waste of money matey but i'v found it never the ale it's always the kabab after 😎😎😎😎

@YourBeingParanoid 4 жыл бұрын

Only worth drinking in the Strawberry d'ynahwitameanlikepet?

@IratusSerpentus 4 жыл бұрын

"As much use as a chocolate kettle" means the person's useless, kettle can be swapped with fire guard ect "Couldn't get laid in a brothel" yeah use your imagination for that one, can be swapped with "couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery" same thing

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂 These are brutal!

@Tyrconnell 4 жыл бұрын

I remember meeting someone whose job was actually organising company events for Courage the brewer. I couldn't resist, "so, you actually organise piss ups in breweries?"....yeah, bet they hadn't heard that before.

@ricmac954 4 жыл бұрын

My dad's variant was "couldn't organize a bun-fight in a bakery"

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

@@ricmac954 +1 extra point for originality!

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

@@Tyrconnell 😂😂

@paddyk3748 3 жыл бұрын

I do enjoy your videos guys. Love from london 🤙✌️

@PeteWylieRC 4 жыл бұрын

Very amusing guys, great video. Has anyone ever pointed you towards the Viz Profanisaurus (Also known as Roger's Profanisaurus)? It is basically the official source for rude British euphemisms. A lot of them might be too rude for your channel but you can definitely get a videos worth of material from it as it is hilarious! Also Viz Comic is generally a great source of British humour.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

We haven't bumped into Viz before! Thank you for the recommendation!

@kevinshort3943 4 жыл бұрын

Pointing Percy at the porcelain - going for a pee. "A sandwich short of a picnic" is they are not right in the head, not a bit thick.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂 And thanks for giving us more context for the sandwich one

@b9y 4 жыл бұрын

Other ideas: An acorn short of a tree, a rug short of a room etc. Can be used for so much 😁

@steveknight878 4 жыл бұрын

Where, I believe and remember, Percy was from a film about a chap who lost his Percy when evading being caught in flagrante dilecto

@kevinshort3943 4 жыл бұрын

@@steveknight878 That would be the sort of thing to stick in ones mind :(

@snooks5607 3 жыл бұрын

@@WanderingRavens some variations of these 4:14 "lost marbles" or "sharpest tool in the shed" probably appear in all languages, in Finland they say "person X is missing few indians in the canoe" or "doesn't have all his Moomins in the valley"

@Jamie_D 3 жыл бұрын

I've always used the phrase going to see a man about a dog to represent that I'm going to do something that's none of their business,or I don't wish to discuss it

@ianprince1698 4 жыл бұрын

from adverts, we used to have an idiom " gone for a burton" Burtons ale ran an advert in the law 30s, before my time. showing a team photo, and again with someone missing with the caption " he's gone for a burton" in a wartime setting it took on a whole different meaning, but still used it as dark humour

@nelliejames 3 жыл бұрын

a wizards sleeve over here is a lady garden or front bottom, good channel by the way, cheers, er sorry posted the the comment when only half way through ur video, well at least u know now

@keithcornish5073 4 жыл бұрын

my parents used "going to see a man about a dog" whenever they were going somewhere, or going to do something and they didnt want to tell us kids where, or what it was. Other times they would simply say "mind ya own business" or "its nothing to do with you, you nosy fucker"

@nick260682 4 жыл бұрын

Tony Beck Is the inverse of dog, cat? Not sure there is an inverse. God, maybe?

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@gorrthebutcher4696 4 жыл бұрын

they were doggin

@catfrab 3 жыл бұрын

Original meaning of "going to see a man about a dog" was sneaking off to the betting office (ie going to see the bookie to put a bet on a greyhound race) but then came to have a broader meaning for any task/trip/visit you want to do privately or covertly.

@colinh8911 4 жыл бұрын

‘Point Percy at the Porcelain’ A man going for a wee at a urinal

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@simonwatkins3236 4 жыл бұрын

He plays left-back for Brighton.

@keithcornish5073 4 жыл бұрын

where I live there are a lot of gypsy (traveller) families and they have their own language. in traveller speak, a toilet is a "parney kenna" parney = piss kenna = house so its a "pisshouse"

@jennyaston6219 4 жыл бұрын

Any sentence starting "With all due respect..." means "I have no respect for you".

@lauryncinnamon8610 3 жыл бұрын

Or "no offence, but..." actually don't care if you're offended lol

@threepot900 2 ай бұрын

“A valid point for consideration at a future meeting perhaps”. ….No, No it’s not, and who let this idiot into the room anyway?

@perry0547 4 жыл бұрын

On the subject of toilets: "In America it's free." On the subject of health care: ...

@guguncube2308 4 ай бұрын

Moat are free here but some are paid 20pence and it's to make sure people are not abusing them to destroy

@IamNasman 3 жыл бұрын

‘Fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down’, definitely a face for radio. Also,’ Here I sit all broken hearted, paid me penny, but only farted’ is a rhyme i remember from toilet graffiti.

@marylynmiller5043 4 жыл бұрын

We TOTALLY use the picnic one, we even make it a game to come to come up with creative new food ones like "a taco short of a combination plate. "Sorry Grace. 😊

@leedsman54 4 жыл бұрын

I've never come across some of these in my 65 years I'm assuming they are quite localised.

@RichardASK 3 жыл бұрын

'You're flying low' means your fly zip is down.

@Zipgunn1 4 жыл бұрын

Also with the same meaning as wizard's sleeve is "welly top" and also "dropping napalm on the porcelain village" is a euphemism for going for a poop after eating spicy food.

@michaelhenderson5282 3 жыл бұрын

love you guys first came across you guys discussing brit accents and you did very well with my own GEORDIE

@markg780 4 жыл бұрын

Here is a good one ........... “ he’s like a lighthouse in the desert....... he may be bright but he’s no fecking use to anyone.” 😁

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@blackbob3358 4 жыл бұрын

you spelt fucking wrong, knobhead. ( u a mick ?..... being ironic btw, )

@blackbob3358 4 жыл бұрын

you misspelt fucking, knob head.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

@@blackbob3358 "fecking" is UK slang mate lol

@Matthew-Wood85 4 жыл бұрын

Couple more I've heard for a guys fly being down Flying at half mast Flying low

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Creative! And useful too, we'll add these ones to our list haha 😂

@Matthew-Wood85 4 жыл бұрын

Few more that I can think of (not for flying low) 5 knuckle shuffle Bashing the Bishop Shaking hands with the Lord of love Duvet dancing Horizontal dance I'm sure you can guess what these are referring to

@ricmac954 4 жыл бұрын

Also, "the door is open but the beast is asleep"

@LucifersTear 4 жыл бұрын

Yes! Flying at half Mast or flying low is the most common way of saying your zip is down.

@olivertunnah3987 4 жыл бұрын

Flying without a license is what I use.

@danjames5552 3 жыл бұрын

You was right about the " going to see a man about a dog " ,I means I'm off to do something and I am not going to tell you what it is or it is not worth saying about

@beds139 4 жыл бұрын

Going for a few sherbets = having some alcoholic drinks. Going for a jimmy riddle = having a pee.

@budd2nd 4 жыл бұрын

Another euphemism for going for a wee used by men “ I’m going to point Percy at the porcelain”

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@allenwilliams1306 4 жыл бұрын

@@WanderingRavens That is a Barry Humphries expression, along with “Technicolour Yawn” for a puke, “Straining the potatoes” for a shit, and “The one-eyed trouser snake” for a penis!

@lacari0805 4 жыл бұрын

Having a slash

@GSD-hd1yh 3 жыл бұрын

"I'm just nipping out for a minute" was used where we lived for going to the toilet. Very few houses had indoor loos, so you went to the "Outhouse" which was shortened to just out

@GSD-hd1yh 3 жыл бұрын

Also "Syphon the python", "Drain the main vein", "Emptying the tank", "Having a slash"

@johnwescott1500 4 жыл бұрын

The opposite of a "wizard's sleeve" is, of course, a "mouse's ear".

@lordred4116 4 жыл бұрын

Like a clowns pocket!

@redoubtnodoubt9702 4 жыл бұрын

John Wescott or a ducks arse - watertight

@jayeevee1693 4 жыл бұрын

tight as a nats chuff, ducks arse etc etc

@PedrSion 3 жыл бұрын

Like a paper hanger’s bucket

@threepot900 2 ай бұрын

Should the owner of said ear or sleeve be “aroused” they can be described as “wetter than an otters pocket”. This can also be used for someone soaked to the skin in a heavy rainstorm. So much slang is conditional,on the setting it’s used in. - I once got caught in a monsoonal rain on my motorbike and literally poured a pint of water out of each boot when I got home, which reminds me of another for a stupid person. “ He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel”.

@alisonrandall3039 4 жыл бұрын

At The Great Exhibition at Hyde Park held from 1 May to 15 October 1851, George Jennings installed his Monkey Closets in the Retiring Rooms of The Crystal Palace. These were the first public toilets, and they caused great excitement. During the exhibition, 827,280 visitors paid one penny to use them; for the penny they got a clean seat, a towel, a comb and a shoe shine. "To spend a penny" became a euphemism for going to the toilet.

@addo4164 4 жыл бұрын

One that I've quite often heard is 'bout as useful as a broken door' used to describe a pointless suggestion, a person who is unreliable or an underperforming object/possession.

@trevordance5181 4 жыл бұрын

"To shake hands with the unemployed" a euphemism for a man going to the toilet or urinal for a wee.

@phoebus007 4 жыл бұрын

To "have an interview without coffee" means to be given a bollocking.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Sad day 😂😂

@hellfiregrowler 3 жыл бұрын

@@WanderingRavens or "going for tea and biscuits"

@JimBCameron 3 жыл бұрын

Your cockney slang comment made me think of numerous Glasgow rhyming slangs & how many euphemisms have evolved into idioms - re. "What's the Hampden?" (was "what's the Hampden roar?" - score - ie. what's new/happening?

@The_Shiny_Red_Dingus_of_Mingus 4 жыл бұрын

To add to the list of 'a good face for radio', 'fugly', 'munter', 'double-bagger', 'swamp-donkey', is my personal favourite... 'a face like a bucket of smashed crabs'.

@wulfherecyning1282 4 жыл бұрын

"Spend a penny". Or in GBP, zero pounds, 1 pence. Or "1p". "One pee".

@cogidubnus1953 3 жыл бұрын

Going to point Percy at the porcelain...or going to shake hands with the wife's best friend...

@harrybarrow6222 3 жыл бұрын

The 1p thing is fairly recent - since we decimalised the coinage in 1971. “Spend a penny” is from Victorian times, when public toilets were introduced and the stalls had a coin slot to open them. The “penny” was the old penny, 1d (£1 = 240d = 100p). There is also some humour in 1p, pronounced “one pee”.

@cyberash3000 4 жыл бұрын

im going to see a man about a dog, means "none of your business"

@matsamuel5655 4 жыл бұрын

No it doesn't. It means 'Going for a piss'.

@cyberash3000 4 жыл бұрын

@@matsamuel5655 no it doesnt not here in Lancashire it doesn't we say say it when someone asks us where we are going

@cyberash3000 4 жыл бұрын

@@matsamuel5655 from wikipedia The original non-facetious meaning was probably to place or settle a bet on a racing dog. Picture the phrase said with a wink. In England/UK the phrase is generally used nowadays as a tongue in cheek way to let people know that you are about to be, or have been up to no good, usually illegal activities. (eg. Going to see... Been to see...) Basically a polite way of saying.... "I (am going out/) have been out, don't ask where

@xtrailz 4 жыл бұрын

No it doesn't, it mean you're thinking about buying a dog from a man

@cyberash3000 4 жыл бұрын

@Darth Wheezius yeah like I say it was meant for going somewhere or doing something that is none of your business lol

@jamessullivan3829 3 жыл бұрын

The buttered on both sides one I've heard in the context that you used it but where I am (Portsmouth) it's used as "edging their bets" or "playing both sides" or "not taking any chances" that sort of thing

@nelsonkaiowa4347 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for teaching new things. I love it how educational your videos often are.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you. Nelson!

@watchtheskies 4 жыл бұрын

if someone's zipper was undone, we would say - you're flying low

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

That's a good one too!

@mmigesh4735 4 жыл бұрын

Old age, stage 1: forgetting to pull your zip up. Old age, stage 2: forgetting to pull your zip down.

@lucyshsw2052 3 жыл бұрын

The barn doors open

@trevordance5181 3 жыл бұрын

The gate is open, but the beast is asleep.

@casinodelonge 3 жыл бұрын

Bless you flower, the "wizards sleeve" related to ahem a ladies (ahem) "kitten purse".

@sddsddean 4 жыл бұрын

My favourite phrase for 'your flies are undone' is 'the gate is open, but the beast is asleep'. Regarding petticoats or slips showing beneath a ladies hemline, my Mum always uses 'Charlie's Dead'. There are two possible sources, both involving kings. One is the execution of Charles I on January 30, 1649, at which the women in attendance are said to have dipped their petticoats in his blood as a way of honouring him. The other possibility is that it refers to the habit of flirtacious female fans of Charles II: they would flash the hems of their petticoats to show how much they admired him.

@jx3821 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks! Im always looking for interesting idioms and euphemisms. Also, here are some older slang words Id like to hear make a roaring comeback in 2021 for anyone reading these comments here: OAF- You probably already know what this is. A lot of people are oafs. LOAGY- Tired, drowsy, or unfocused ZOUNDS- ¨Wow!¨ or ¨Good Gracious!¨ (Zounds means ¨Gods wounds¨, referring to the crucifixion) FISHWIFE- a rude and abrasive woman. Origin is kind of a long story, look it up, very interesting. RANNY- Posessing the quality of being both random and funny simultaneously. (A newer one, heard it on Instagram I like it cause, many things on the Internet these days are pretty ranny.)

@righthandofdoom77 4 жыл бұрын

My favourite is 'he couldn't find his arse with both his hands.'

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@crose7412 4 жыл бұрын

I believe the full phrase is "he couldn't find his arse with both hands tied behind his back".

@righthandofdoom77 4 жыл бұрын

@@crose7412 potato, patato.

@crose7412 4 жыл бұрын

@@righthandofdoom77 More like potato, pat!

@righthandofdoom77 4 жыл бұрын

@@crose7412 ....ok....

@lolagraham8013 4 жыл бұрын

To ‘spend a penny’ comes from Victorian times when public toilets became a thing and cost a penny.The majority of public toilets are free nowadays.

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Good to know! Thanks!

@sammygirl5835 4 жыл бұрын

We were still spending pennies to open the cubicle door when I was a kid. So long as you didn’t let it shut between users then 1 penny (some of which still had Victoria on then) would let any number of people in so my mum, me and my sister could all have a pee for a penny. On the outside of the door was the coin operated lock. You put your penny in to open the door when you can out and let the door close behind you the penny dropped and the door relocked. Saddly this probably not where the phrase “and the penny drops” meaning someone finally understood something, may come from.

@stevepirie8130 3 жыл бұрын

People used to buy your urine to treat stuff like leather. You could get a penny for it hence the original meaning you’re off to urinate a pennies worth. It would be a buckets worth for a penny so you were alluding you had a full bladder to pass.

@stevepirie8130 3 жыл бұрын

Paying to use a toilet came far later in history

@bellamagpie 3 жыл бұрын

"Why Tuesday?... Oh!! Oh no" Grace is so cute 😄

@jonathangriffin1120 4 жыл бұрын

'Bought the Farm' has always intrigued me, a sudden and premature death, I'm assuming that when a farm is mortgaged, the mortgage has a life insurance policy attached, so when the mortgagee 'pops his clogs' the family farm is fully paid for.

@highpath4776 4 жыл бұрын

Never heard bought, more Lost The Farm - when a bet or business deal does belly up

@IveJustHadAPiss 4 жыл бұрын

Also, Eric doesn't have a face for radio, but he could do with a makeover. That hair dude....

@WanderingRavens 4 жыл бұрын

Used to bug me too, but over time it's really grown on me...

@IveJustHadAPiss 4 жыл бұрын

As long as he doesn't hide behind his hair so people can't see his glorious countenance.

@IveJustHadAPiss 4 жыл бұрын

He definitely needs some gay friends to straighten his look out.

@marvinc9994 3 жыл бұрын

"We don't have a queen in the United States" Been to San Francisco recently ?

@explanential2715 4 жыл бұрын

"Up in Nanny's room behind the clock" = "in/to an unknown/undisclosed location" "As much use as an ashtray on a motorbike" = "useless" "As thick as two short planks" = "stupid" "Couldn't x his way out of a paper bag" = "he is terrible at x" "If it had teeth, it would have bitten you" = "The thing that you were looking for was right next to you, why didn't you see it?"

@offal 3 жыл бұрын

HAHAHAHAHAHA ! you had to go there for the wizzards sleeve, i was gonna let you down gently, but you were quicker than shit through a goose.

@leeclarke8657 4 жыл бұрын

Here's a few that might suprise you from my end of the UK "I'd let her use my tongue as toilet paper" and "I'd drink her bath water" meaning there's someone who's very very attractive 😂

@madabbafan 4 жыл бұрын

The zipper being down we also have - flying low without a licence

@billydonaldson6483 2 жыл бұрын

Loo is from Waterloo as in water closet. Crapper was a man called John Crapper who designed a loo for Queen Elizabeth 1st, there for going for a crap means to use the loo.

@julianb1474 4 жыл бұрын

I bought Private Eye every week in the late '60's. Edgy stuff back in the day. I believe they originated the term "fart catcher" as a derogatory term for the minion of some "important" person. Kind of like Smithers. They ran a cartoon written by Barry Humphries (later Dame Edna), called "Barry McKenzie" about the adventures of a young Australian in London. It was full of Australian euphemisms that no one knew were real or just made up by Barry. Mostly relating to drinking and bodily functions. "Chunder" and "Technicolour yawn" were just a couple.

@hectorthorverton4920 4 жыл бұрын

Not to mention his 'one-eyed trouser snake'....

@julianb1474 4 жыл бұрын

@@hectorthorverton4920 Best not mention the one for #2

@agoogleuser4443 4 жыл бұрын

As an American, I think the funniest one I've heard is "popped his clogs" when someone dies. Love that! I believe that one is Yorkshire also. Correct me if I'm wrong.

@fuckdefed 3 жыл бұрын

A Google User It’s a U.K.-wide expression