The oldest computer was in the garden of Eden. It was an Apple 🍎 with very limited capacity. Had only 1 byte and everything crashed 😂

Do you think when Moses saw the burning bush he was all like "no way " and the bush was all like "yhwh"

GOD: Cain, where is your brother? Cain: He wasn't Abel to make it. 🤣🤣🤣

I’m so thankful I’ve read my Bible enough to understand all of these 🤣

What was Boaz before he was married??…… ruthless 😂

Who knew the most people in the Bible? I don’t know but Abraham knew a Lot😂

Jesus (to Peter): Who do you say I am? Am I the Messiah? Peter: Yesh,-u-ah!

There was a faithful elderly woman who lived in a duplex. Her next door neighbor was an angry atheist. He could hear the elderly woman praying everyday and he hated it. One day he heard her praying that she had no food and no money. So he went to the store and bought her a week's worth of groceries. He said to himself "this will prove there is no God because I did all the shopping!!" When he showed up at her doorstep with food she praised the Lord "thank you God for answering my prayers!" And the atheist said "God didn't do it I did!!" And she praised God again saying "and you made your hater pay for it!!"

- Jesus, how do you like your steak? - Well done my faithful servant, Well done.

Adam came home late again. Eve said "Is there another woman". Adam said "No dear, count my ribs".

I love how these are referring to lesser known Biblical things. Love that Christians can laugh and be funny especially if they know the Bible well. That's great. Ty

I am 73 years old and remember when a mouse was a little furry creature and a hard drive was when I went to see my mother-in-law

Why don't Jesus wear jewelries? Because He breaks every chain. 😏

Did you know the disciples actually traveled together by car? Yeah, they all came in one Accord. 🥁

When Noah was unloading the animals off the ark, ….he said go forth and multiply!…..the two snakes 🐍🐍 shivered in the corner and said but we’re adders🥹.

It wasn't the apple that caused all the trouble in the Garden of Eden. It was the pair on the ground!!! 😂😂

"Do you need a boat? I NOAH guy. He's an ARKitecht" got me 🤣🤣

How could the Son of Man afford to pay it all? Because Jesus saves!!! That's my best🤣🤣🤣 Epic!

Adam and his sons were walking by the garden and they asked him, "What is that place?" and he said, "That's where your mother ate us out of house and home".

Oh my word, this is my first time watching you guys and I'm cracking up! It's Monday, March 18, 2024. April 1st is my son's birthday. He died at age 11. If he were here he would be laughing so hard, because he had such a great sense of humor! Thanks for the joy this a.m.!

Goliath's last thoughts: Nothing like this has ever entered my mind before

Not my jokes: 1. Moses was the first person to download information on a tablet from the cloud. 2. Noah sent out the world's first tweet. 3. Boaz was Ruth-less before he got married

“I wouldn’t think I’d laugh at a math joke.” Does that make David a …. Mathodist? 😂

Poor Nehemiah was nice and easygoing, but he began putting up walls later in life.

I don't have a joke but a pick up line. "If I march around you seven times... will you fall for me? 😏

Knock Knock Who's there? Dishes. Dishes Who? Dishes the day the Lord has made. Knock knock. Who's there? Lettus. Lettus who? Lettus rejoice and be glad in it.

Jeremiah opened a French candy store and named it La Ments. That set me laughing!!😅😅

I once told my pastor "i didnt know you liked video games too !" "What do you mean young man?" And i stood next to him, pointed at all the seating and went "pew pew pew"

I'm in hospital recovering from having my gallbladder removed, extreme abdominal pain, and I literally had to be given morphine for the joke, "Jesus is devine. We are debranches". I've paused the video at 2:18 for a time when I can proceed safely.

Noah was good at finances: He kept his stock afloat.

When my friend was a little girl, she came home from Sunday school and said her favorite part of the lesson was singing about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly ("Gladly, the cross I bear" is a line from the hymn, "Keep Thou My Way" by Fanny Crosby and Theodore E. Perkins).

Did you know Moses was the first person to use a tablet to download data from the cloud? 😂

Who is most disappointed when The prodigal son came home? The fatted calf

Who is the tennis player in the Bible?? Joseph, because he served in pharaoh's court☺

As a former stand up alot of these were clever puns but the one that got me was Sampson being a comedian because " he brought the house down" that one was well written

What did Lot say to his wife as they were escaping Sodom? "Hey, are we being followed?"

A man was praying, "Lord, I read in 2 Peter that to You a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years is like a day." "That's right," said the Lord, "he got that from Psalm 90." "Well, what are a million years like to You?" the man asked. "One second," said the Lord. "Wow," said the man, "well, what are a million dollars like to You?" "One penny," said the Lord. The man thought for a moment. "Lord...?" he asked, "could you spare me a penny?" The Lord said, "Sure, just a second."

The Lord said to John, “come forth and you shall receive eternal life”. But John came fifth and got a toaster. 😂😂 this was great, thank you guys!

I got more of a kick watching how much fun they had doing these jokes 🤣 🥰🙏🤗

Balaam was riding his donkey down a road when an angel appeared before them. The donkey, upon seeing the angel, bucked backward and threw Balaam onto the street, which he hit hard, skid, and rolled before coming to a stop. After inspecting his skinned knees and elbows, he looked up at the angel, who said, “Don’t blame me. It was the asphalt.”

A mom asked her boy, “What is your favorite hymn?” “The one about Andy,” he replied. “Andy? There’s no Andy in the Bible?” “Well,” he said, “I don’t know about the Bible, but we sing about Andy all the time.” “Are you sure?”the confused mom asked. “Sure! Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own!”

"What happened to the gods of the Philistines? Dagon".... THAT LAYED ME OUT!!! Great stuff guys, God Bless you

LOL this is the best day ever! Theology + dad jokes? Two of my best things. Thank you for making this such a long video too, so many gems. And s/o to Christine for those original jokes, absolutely hilarious.

🤣👏🏼Hilarious! (with a neat mix of groaners and classics) "dew" time / "Balem" out / "dey gone"🤣🤣🤣 I thought it was going to be jokes *actually* in the Bible. Like when Elijah watched the prophets of Baal dancing feverishly and finally asked, Is he on vacation? Taking a nap maybe? ...Or when Samuel asked Saul, Soooo, if you killed 'em all, what is that bleating of sheep I hear? Eh, boy? ...Or my fav: Aaron when Moses finally came down, Hey, we just threw the gold in the fire, and BAM, there's a big ol' calf! What can I say?😁

How does Moses like His coffee?? - Hebrews it! 😂😂😂

This pushes me to learn the Bible more

Did you hear Elijah’s prayer at Mt. Carmel? It was fire, yo.

This thought keeps coming to my mind: Do you suppose that Moses ever got so mad at the Children of Israel that he was heard yelling, "If I have to pull this camel over..."? Speaking of the Children of Israel, I recall a story I heard about a kid who came home from Sunday School and was telling his mother what he was learning. "The Bible says, 'The Children of Israel did this, the Children of Israel did that'...didn't the grown-ups ever do anything?"

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

The one Christian joke that made me laugh 😏 An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?” ” Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly. “OK,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?” The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.” To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don’t know shit?”

After covid19 was over I told my wife we were like the Apostle Paul. She ask how so. We are on the road to Damascus.

I used to think the shortest person in the Bible was Job’s friend Bildad the shoe-height. But I forget it was the apostle Peter, who slept on his watch.

" believing only 12,5 % of the Bible makes you an eighth theist" Great one guys!! Love it

3:55 was my favorite! "The Pharos daughter went to the bank of the Niel and pulled out a profit" 🤣🤣

Okay. Y’all got me with Jeremiah and his French candy store. La Mints (Laments). Hilarious yet brilliant. 😂

I know I'm super late to the party, but this just popped into my recommended today. Seth used to be my youth pastor! Good to see him still making terrible jokes 😂

Did You know that Noah was a financial wizard? Because while everyone else was in liquidation, he floated his stock.

After the Ark came to rest on Mt. Ararat, all the animals left the Ark (disemb-arked) except two snakes. Noah was making the rounds to make sure all the animals left and found them. He asked them why they had not left the Ark. The snake says, "You told us to go forth and multiply". "Yes, I did," Noah replied, "what's the problem". The snake answered, "We can't multiply, we're adders".

Need I say myrrh? 😂 Thank you friends. This was really good

In a relationship, do you know,it's the man's job to brew the coffee,you will find the command right in the book,of . . HEBREWS LOL😂

8thiest was my favorite one. This isn't exactly a Bible joke but... Before church a mom decided to test her daughter. She gave her a one dollar bill and a five dollar bill and told her daughter to give whichever one she wanted when the church takes up offering. After church the mom asks, "so which one did you decide to give? The one or the five?" The daughter replied, "well...I was going to give the five but what the pastor said changed my mind. He said God loves a cheerful giver and I knew I'd be more cheerful if I kept the five than the one!"

scientists told God they didn't need Him because they figured out how to make a universe. We challenge you. God said ok I'm up for that challenge. the scientist reached down to pick up a handful of dirt. GOD said oh no. Youve got to get your own dirt.

Why did Jesus go to the Japanese restaurant? Because he loves Miso.

These are too funny🤣🤣...I love being in Christ😍

Who was the best DJ in the Bible Jesus he turned tables 😂😂😂😂

"how do you think Jacob's brother felt after his blessing was stolen?" I was so certain he was going to say "Esau red" !!

The first car is in the Bible as well…. It clearly says Jesus and his disciples came in one “accord”. How they all fit in such a small car is outstanding!!🤣🤣🤣

Moses observing Joshua talking to his dad ... Moses to Aaron: "Hey, who's that guy over there?" Aaron: "Why, there's Nun beside Joshua!" Moses, concerned: "Aaron, there's clearly two guys standing there. How much of that golden calf water did you drink?"

The Doctor that delivered Abram's baby had a lisp. "Is it a girl?" No, Ishmael.

Jesus is divine and we are de-branches 😂😂😂 absolutely love that one

A 5 year old thought he was old enough to walk to school by himself, so his mom was supportive, but seceritly asked their elderly heigbur if she and her young granddaughter to fallow him to school everyday.a couple of weeks later, the 5 year old and a little girl he walked with noticed the grandmother Shurly Goodness and granddaughter Marcy always following them so the girl asked the 5 year old why. The 5 year old ponders for a few minutes the says " my mom reads me the 23ed Psalm which says "May Surely Goodness and Marcy fallow you all the days of your life" "

4:42 You squandered a perfectly good opportunity to respond with, "Enoch-ed... then he left."

Adam was discussing what kind of woman God was going to give him. Adam wanted one that would cheerfully treat him like a king, on top of caring for the kids, cleaning and cooking, and all without complaint. God said that that would cost him an arm and a leg. Adam asked what he could get for a rib.

My Dad-Joke vocabulary has just increased 12.5% God bless you all ❤️

Why couldn’t Cain please the Lord? Because he was not Abel 😂

Jesus is preparing many rooms in His Fathers house. What kind of tiles does he want in it? Gentiles

I know it's not technically a Bible joke, but... A man was hired to paint a church, he bought 20 gallons of paint when he needed 25. He figured- "oh well, I'll add some water to each bucket and no one will be the wiser." The man finishes the job late in the day and decided to come back the following day to collect his payment. The next day arrives, he shows up to the church to get paid only to find it had rained overnight and washed away all of the paint. Standing in front of the church, scratching his head he says "what's going on here? It wasn't supposed to rain!" As he's asking this an answer comes from above "you know what you've done, now you must repaint and thin no more."

It's not even a legit joke, but one morning our pastor said "My favorite question in the whole bible was asked by God, in Genesis...'Who told you that you were naked?'" That has such a "dad talking to toddlers" vibe that I lost it 😂 ETA: I failed at the challenge before I even started the video, because I laughed at the comments 😭

Jesus: Peter, you are the rock on which I will build my church. Peter: Why Me? Why can't Thomas be your rock? Jesus: He's too timid. I want someone who's a little bolder.

Several years ago at a prestigious university, a philosophy professor gave his students a one-question final exam. He picked up a chair, placed it on top of his desk, and wrote on the board, “Using what you have learned in class this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.” Most of the students dug deep and wrote like crazy for the entire hour. Some of them churned out more than 30 pages of heady philosophical debate and logic. One student, though, handed in his paper after less than a minute. As it turned out, he was the only one in the class who got an “A” on the test. His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?” Where to Take It from Here… Most atheists who believe they can disprove the existence of God using their philosophical and reasoning skills often unwittingly end up acknowledging his existence. God has made himself known in his creation and revealed himself in the lives of his people, leaving the atheist with the formidable task of trying to disprove the obvious. The story is told of an atheist who said to a believer, “I don’t believe God exists.” The believer thought for a minute and said, “Well, I don’t think God believes you exist, either.” The atheist blurted out, “What do you mean! He has to believe I exist because he created me!”

Enjoy 😏 A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut." The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair." His Dad replies... "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went..?”😉👍

"Doc, help me, I think I'm Noah!" "I think I can help you sir!" "Okay, but before you do have I got a weather report for you!"

Did you know the 3 wisemen were firefighters? They came from afar. (A fire)

That anonymous source has great jokes. Thanks, Christine ☺️

Who does Joshua judge? Ruth. Joshua Judges Ruth

How did God reward Jonah? By giving him a whale of a time!! 😂😂

What did Joseph say to Judah when the automobile came by???... Look..... Issacar 😂😂.

My wife's name is Annette (named after OG Mousketeer, Annette Funicello of course!) - SO, I've always loved when someone preaches the scripture about Jesus telling them to "Throw Annette on the other side of the boat"...

As a Christian who's all in for Jesus, these jokes make my bones rattle so much, I love this haha!!

Why can’t Jesus wear jewellery, why?, because he breaks every chain!😂

Jeremiah's candy store got me!! 😂

Did you know that Mary had a song about her after Jesus was born? I think you've heard of it. It goes, "Mary had a little lamb!"

Jesus at the Last Supper: Hi, table for 26 please. Waiter: But there are only 13 of you? Jesus: Yeah, but we’re only going to sit on one side of the table.

2:43 As a scholar of early Christianity, this one genuinely made me laugh! 😂

Before the jokes started I already failed😂. "Our anonymous source Christine"😂

The silence after the Enoch joke was perfect....I laughed so hard. How did I miss it the first time??

I apreciate how deep these jokes were and some of them you really had to know your bible to get them 😂 😂 😂

Absolutely hilarious!!! The comments have me roaring 😂😂😂😂 I subbed, you are all so brilliant!

What is a thousand kegabytes? - a megabyte What is a thousand megabytes - a gigabyte. What is a moabite and ammonite? - A Lot.

Eve says to Adam. "do you love me?" Adam replies " Who else?"