My sanctimonious sister - did things that she told me about in detail with a sadistic glee that sent chills down my spine.
@ladennayoung29393 жыл бұрын
They are all not pleasant to be around to say the least. They all have the Jezebel spirit attached to them, and the goal of that spirit is to destroy people.
@bethkhensous33143 жыл бұрын
My grandmother summed up the narcissist in a nutshell-: House Devil, Street Angel
@alwaysinprayer9003 жыл бұрын
Wow that's profoundly true
@francesbernard24453 жыл бұрын
Yes. Which is why when some grandpa in the neighborhood where I live gets into one of those moods while driving off with a too quick of a start while in a hurry after maybe only at work speaking to almost a complete stranger who is a lot on the entitled side while working I shouldn't read too much into it because covert narcissists in contrast would be way more concerned with maintaining their perfect pristine image.
@flowerchild78203 жыл бұрын
Very well said grandmother:)
@mfar30163 жыл бұрын
I also grew up with a narc grandmother. Didn’t realize she was a narc, until I started watching these videos. I just thought she was a miserable manipulative person. I got away from her & married another. He was a pure evil, textbook narc! Glad to say they’re both out of my life, for decades.
@Ceecee07772 жыл бұрын
Wise Woman❤️
@realhealing78023 жыл бұрын
There are always strings attached for any act of kindness. Narcissist are truly evil and the covert is the worst. Sneaky and deceptive. You don't want anyone like this in your life! Go no contact and stay no contact.
@gmamose91523 жыл бұрын
It's my mother. She's 87 and I can only take her in small doses
@hawaiigirl80893 жыл бұрын
Only strings attached by narcissists!! as many people who are Not a narc do things from a genuine kindness.
@hawaiigirl80893 жыл бұрын
@@buckleup7886 omg you are spot on! I forgot how my own Narc mom, was a paranoid freak & tho i was out of HS, working full time, paying my parents weekly rent when i worked & paid my own car bills etc. My mother would rummage thru my room & my drawers! Had a huge fight with me over birth control when i was 20. She found it in my sock drawer! Mind you i did all my own laundry- she had no excuse & aside from rent, i did daily/ weekly chores. Vacuuming, dusting, wash kitchen floor after working 40 to 52 hours a week. & my mom was a stay at home mother! They are nosy 🧐. When i moved out my apartment was like heaven.
@lizelli663 жыл бұрын
💯✔
@tovenrvik63363 жыл бұрын
@@gmamose9152 The Narcissist get worst as older they get, learn from Dr Romani video to Go Gray Rock, that's a way to don't give the Narcissist supply, it is to be as interesting as a grey rock. 🌹
@jennifergodwin293 жыл бұрын
If we truly knew EVERYTHING they hid from us we’d be extremely shocked and disgusted
@jolly77283 жыл бұрын
I definitely get your point, but at this stage in my life nothing they do or have done or will do would shock or disgust me. At a tender age, while at my sophomore prom in high school, my "date" sneaked her older more mature boyfriend into the after prom venue and hung out with him the whole time on the patio. I learned right then and there to hope for the best but plan for the worst. So, no, nothing upsets me anymore. Actually, I laugh at how stupid and pathetic they are while I keep succeeding in life.
@trumpeterswan41773 жыл бұрын
I am content to let God reveal to me what I need to know about my ex's secrets. But sometimes I do get curious. However he is so disgusting that his secrets would probably make me ill.
@TheTreasureSeeker013 жыл бұрын
Frighteningly true
@hawaiigirl80893 жыл бұрын
Wow you are so correct! I feel like God revealed only the tip of the ice berg - of his deviant behavior, as a sign to get away. He is still a depraved pervert.
@hawaiigirl80893 жыл бұрын
@@trumpeterswan4177 they would. I thought i would vomit literally when i saw my ex Husband put himself on internet live- stream porn doing very bad things to himself! These people are depraved & going to Hell.
@TheReetchou3 жыл бұрын
Strange behaviors of Covert Narcissist 1. Hide and conceal their true identity behind a “mask of concern” 2. You feel you have to play detective to find out who they are and what they are up to 3. They are terrible listeners 4. Their words and actions do not align ( Big indication) 5. Make you feel guilty 6. You feel like you are indebted to them if they’ve done “something” for you (Strings attached) 7. They have secret addictions or secret lives. They feel they are entitled to do whatever they want to do. 8. They manipulate the empaths caring nature.
@bogdannesic83423 жыл бұрын
You described a psychopath
@Prodibber3 жыл бұрын
Mutts
@diamonds2diamonds3703 жыл бұрын
My husband
@maggiemay86223 жыл бұрын
Mine too, so alarming to see it written down!! I could never figure out what exactly was going on.. now years later and much information it all makes sense! He fooled everybody. I was left to deal with the damage done 😢
@tiptopdadddy2 жыл бұрын
My ex even went on a survivors podcast and told her story. I listened to it after she posted on social media, then quickly took it down. Ever since we got together I’ve done my best to be supportive and protective. I confronted her ex who’s a convicted killer and has an extensive criminal record including domestic battery. I have watched her youngest child many times, taking him to drop off and pick up with his dad and developed a relationship to the point that he called me his “stepdad“. I got pretty close to her family and together we were able to buy a house, a car and share expenses while planning for the future. But at no time did she mention me on the podcast, didn’t even bring up that her life had turned around, we had gotten engaged and that she found a good hardworking guy. Not that it was about me, it wasn’t. When she finally broke up with me it was an echo of that podcast, like I didn’t exist or ever even live the last several years in partnership. According to her she had done it all alone, though my bank account would tell a rather different story. The thing is, she probably has played a game of mental Tetris to rearrange facts so that somehow she is the victim again and I am somehow at fault. By no means am I perfect, I make mistakes and try to learn just like anyone else. But these people are sneaky, and must have some kind of lizard brain where they have absolutely no guilt, compunction or remorse, much less self-awareness of the monsters they are.
@annberlin58113 жыл бұрын
It makes me sad to see all the nice people on these channels that have been abused.
@chadjohnson4383 жыл бұрын
@Mistake Maker I am finding it unbelievable how many people in life have these traits. It’s like an invisible disease. You need the “special glasses” like in the movie They Live to see them all.
@bitchpuhleese3 жыл бұрын
@@chadjohnson438 this is EXACTLY what I told A friend of mine about a narcissist we know.
@inaj273 жыл бұрын
“They will string us along for years as much as they can”. Hit me
@Vixinaful3 жыл бұрын
Same here. 3,5 years of HELL that almost killed me. Have now reported it to the police and filed a restraining order to lose this guy. Wish me luck..
@teal10103 жыл бұрын
Vixinaful The best of luck to you!
@crystalferguson73083 жыл бұрын
Mine did, for 20+ yrs. But Not Anymore. This Infj empath is getting her power back. Thanks to God! ✨♥️✨
@salonsavy64763 жыл бұрын
We live in a pandemic of narcissists,,, and there’s no cure !
@mihaela2553 жыл бұрын
Majority are devils
@rickgriffin14293 жыл бұрын
Demons are in families and brother and sister are driving me nuts and are evil devil is working overtime...
@mihaela2553 жыл бұрын
All of you who are harased by other who turned into devils...stay into God! Pray!!! Jesus will come soon.
@Devik6663 жыл бұрын
Yep like parents using Facebook etc lol 😂
@boxergirl843 жыл бұрын
We really do I thought it was just me that noticed it it's crazy It's more annoying they can't just entertain each other
@teal10103 жыл бұрын
You cannot hold them "accountable" for what they say and do because they don't hold "themselves" accountable!
@patsyjohnson39633 жыл бұрын
They might feel it or know it if they got more kicks in the butt.
@teal10103 жыл бұрын
Patsy Johnson They'll feel the "kick", but they don't have the ability to feel empathy!
@ezclean70223 жыл бұрын
People can only do to you what YOU allow..right?
@patsyjohnson39633 жыл бұрын
@@ezclean7022 They can be pretty convincing and have a hold on you before you know it.
@kellithomas90809 ай бұрын
They truly don’t care or see any wrong. My ex would come up with the craziest justifications in his mind and didn’t understand why I wouldn’t go along. Then would say “For the life of me, I can’t understand your thinking!” 🤣🤣 I think that was the only thing we had in common; not being able to relate to one another’s thinking.
@jujubell743 жыл бұрын
I was in a relationship with a covert Narcissist, and while with him I met his best friends mother-in-law who in-turn became my best friend who later while healing from my ex narc realized she was in fact a covert narcissist too! OMG, I just couldn’t believe it! A light bulb went off and I new. I’m happy to report that I have been completely narc free for almost a year now, and I’ve never been happier. I kicked both of them to the curb and my life is loving, peaceful, and full of light and laughter again.
@jolly77283 жыл бұрын
I loved the way that ordeal finally turned out. :-)
@jujubell743 жыл бұрын
Thank you, me too🦋🙏🦋
@charlottemuller22333 жыл бұрын
Amen!!!
@gregbeaumont55543 жыл бұрын
It’s been 3 years still recovering from my ex narc.
@joyfulj16633 жыл бұрын
Good on you bbes ❤️
@Ian1402653 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing, I also think the covert narcissist can be very quiet as a manipulation tactic, to make others think they mean no harm when in reality they are just scheming and gathering more information about their targets.
@AM-..3 жыл бұрын
@Tina Hudson They wear that mask to a “T”
@AM-..3 жыл бұрын
I told him he’s wearing nothing but a costume. He used to laugh. I told him you are such a coward. Show everyone who you really are! It wasn’t easy, but he’s out of the house now.
@shirleymorales31613 жыл бұрын
Yes ! Think that's the case for me so confusing!
@jennymccombie96043 жыл бұрын
@@kynathomas4809 Might be interesting to make copies of your latest child support order and put them in the pews of his church ....get a few friends to help you. Then interrupt his sermon and ask him what he plans on paying for his son ? Say you and God want to know !
@xeniastefanescu5073 жыл бұрын
I got married early to a covert narcissist, and it took me years to discover what, s wrong with him, and I am still with himafter 52 years., but we are strangers. We always were. For a while I believed his lies, but. after I discovered he was cheating, had no feelings for me, was selfish, egotistic, evil, uninterested in me or the children, at all. was secretive, and a pathological liar. They never love anyone, but are actors, they do not show their true face, in fact, they have no personality.,and are boring and quite stupid, but they portray themselves as geniuses. They are a piece of tin which poses as gold.Incredible hard to live with, they suck up all your energy, until you remain just an empty shell. They are horrible. Actors, manipulators, devilish. aggressive , having almost nothing good in them, but portraying themselves as saviours, when pose as religious.The religious ones are the worst.
@imyourfriend85823 жыл бұрын
Your insights are helpful; thank you. Sometimes they listen intently - when they are gathering information to use against you!
@catlady69383 жыл бұрын
This is so true I told him how I had been hurt in a previous relationship and he told me he would never hurt me! He had gathered the information to do just that. When I confronted him with this on numerous occasions he just ignored it. Glad to say he’s out my life but what a roller coaster it is being with one of these vile people.
@charlottemuller22333 жыл бұрын
Oh,they remember everything!!
@delta24613 жыл бұрын
Yes. Or that they can use on others. Something they perceive as gossip.
@mirianschulte18733 жыл бұрын
YES!!! They will use the slightest information u share with them against you!
@aila20903 жыл бұрын
Correct. They gather information from you pretending to be your friends for the purpose to hit you harder later on.
@trudyramgren33793 жыл бұрын
Thank you Jill. I was involved with a narcissist. What a terrible experience. I have to say it took me almost four years to truly believe that there was something wrong with this guy. I'm out now and feel free of his outrageous behaviour. They will steal your soul if you let them.
@davidmccaffrey40203 жыл бұрын
Did you manage to get your soul back? I hope mine returns to me one day. I feel like it's getting closer. Bit by bit
@charlottemuller22333 жыл бұрын
They can switch and act soooo good! Jekyll and Hyde!! RUN!!
@emmaharper8602 жыл бұрын
Absolutely 💯 💯 💯 💯
@2scents4343 жыл бұрын
The worst ones are the ones that project their narcissism on others they destroy a relationship then tell everyone he or she was a narcissist and play the victim only to get the next sucker in line.
@charlottemuller22333 жыл бұрын
Flip it all back on you!!!! Nothing is there fault!!!!
@2scents4343 жыл бұрын
I dont quite understand what your saying? But all those exclamation marks are scaring me
@VerisimilitudeFilms13 жыл бұрын
This makes me terribly self conscious because I got out of a narcissistic relationship and I did the stupid thing of reaching out to their new supply and 3 mutual friends to point out what they did (but I never used the N word) and showed screen caps of some of the contradictions. It backfired to a degree. I feel guilty of the action, but no guilt in revealing how they treated me. But because of my outburst, I'm afraid now I'm going to be the one deemed the narcissist. I already went no contact. What should I do?
@uyoebyik3 жыл бұрын
@@2scents434 there are narcissists who call their victims narcissists
@soulthriver-oz64703 жыл бұрын
And there is NOTHING you can do to them in return for the severe bullying, manipulations, cruelty etc. They WANT you to get so worked up by their transparent betrayals, so they can charge you with a crime. There is nothing you can do for revenge, which they damn well DESERVE!!! ÀND...they know it. !!!
@gmamose91523 жыл бұрын
They listen when they're sucking informarion out of what you're saying so they can use it against you later. When you're not giving up anything of value to them, yes, they are bored and are terrible listeners
@indiesindie19843 жыл бұрын
Nailed it!
@demetriuslester3 жыл бұрын
#facts
@jellyroll21023 жыл бұрын
Or if your words somehow make them feel superior.
@pointsbeingmade79963 жыл бұрын
Fact
@tovenrvik63363 жыл бұрын
I remember an uninterested mother wt dead eyes.
@msshellt76123 жыл бұрын
They're fony peices of crap...💩💩💩 I've been around one for over 20 yrs. Everything Jill said, absolutely TRUTH!
@misteque84773 жыл бұрын
I agree 100% He was all this and more
@tovenrvik63363 жыл бұрын
I hope you'll leave or have done that. None can be happy wt a Narcissistic partner, those want's to control, destroy and dim another humans light. Look to the channel Narc Survivor on KZfaq.
@misteque84773 жыл бұрын
@@tovenrvik6336 When I figured it out I kicked him out and have a youtube family now for support. Thank you
@charlottemuller22333 жыл бұрын
I was so stupid,thought it was the Christian act to do,and divorce was wrong!! Covenants mean nothing!!
@intuitiveempress2173 жыл бұрын
One trick PHONIES! 😂
@kellyellis60803 жыл бұрын
Yes! Secretive about everything! I could not figure out why he was so shady and it always felt like he was hiding things from me! Very sneaky and lied about everything as well!
@mostthegames37233 жыл бұрын
Yesssss. Shady AF
@angaeltartarrose64843 жыл бұрын
Always working their angle.
@teal10103 жыл бұрын
"... maybe you just think I might, find somebody worthy!" Yet they are highly "suspicious" of you!
@marisolvelez90762 жыл бұрын
I went threw the same thing...
@maxahissou75742 жыл бұрын
mirror being secretive to them, they can't handle it.
@beverlyorlando80403 жыл бұрын
He thought he hid all of these from me and he almost got away with it! But the empath, detective, truth teller that I am was onto him about 5 years prior to leaving! I attempted to leave a couple of times during that period. Discovering his porn addiction this past August had me packing for good! The divorce was finalized last month!
@lizelli663 жыл бұрын
Ma'am I had the SAME exact issues with my narc! LIES, CHEATING, PORN, FAKE SOCIAL MEDIA PROFILES etc...when I eventually started asking questions and demanding answers he told me in not so many words, "he wants me gone"
@abowling57593 жыл бұрын
Congratulations on your victory!♥️
@hawaiigirl80893 жыл бұрын
Amen 🙏🏻 sister! They never let you go without trickery, manipulation, subtle threats & when THEY are good and ready.
@barbm10013 жыл бұрын
Empath here also..honestly that dynamic theory is absolutely true!!
@noirfit97213 жыл бұрын
My divorce will be final next month! Praise be to God
@almostfamous7913 жыл бұрын
Empaths are created when they are raised by a narcissist and have been taught to be hyper vigilant about others, being the narcissist's, feelings to the point of ignoring their own needs, wants desires etc
@mdee8603 жыл бұрын
@Almost Famous- So well said. 👏👏👏👍😪💔
@karolsworld2 жыл бұрын
They stick together within the family.
@redredkroovy2 жыл бұрын
@Almost Famous,one of my absolute favorite films!! Agree with you completely.
@ladennayoung29393 жыл бұрын
Yep. Everything she said is true. If you find yourself in a romantic relationship like this, or have a family member or friend like this. End communication with them, and decide to choose you. Choose you, love you, work on you, and heal. You have value, and you matter. Know that you deserve better.
@maureenbeach89013 жыл бұрын
@@neildarealdeal7129 m
@francesmorris88813 жыл бұрын
I agree, It will leave me a bit of a loner for a bit but im sure i will make better friends eventually x
@aubreysottile82763 жыл бұрын
It’s sad that anytime someone speaks up about it, they’re viewed as paranoid, or someone that has mental Health problems. That speaks volumes as far as how many people aren’t grounded in anything true
@Noname-dg3pm3 жыл бұрын
I found this to be true too
@steveparish42092 жыл бұрын
I think the most important thing for people who feel they've been in a manipulative relationship and turn to these types of videos to learn about their antagonist is that it's rare for that person to exhibit all of these traits all the time. In other words, don't watch 4 or 5 of these and say, 'well (s)he never did this or that, so they must be something other than a narcissist.' They may not be but that type of relegation leads to you letting them off the hook, giving them additional chances, and getting hurt further. I'm sure there are some perfect examples of narcissists out there who check most of these boxes, but this isn't a roadmap to identifying whether the person mistreating you fits neatly under the narcissist label in the DSM. It's about recognizing that you're being mistreated, used, taken advantage of etc. and how the person is doing it to you. Don't worry about labeling them, worry about disconnecting your emotional state from their locus of control.
@trainattendant58103 жыл бұрын
Jill, this encapsulates the narcissist who I fell in love with. After the bromance/bro bombing he was openly disinterested, dismissive, & secretive. If I may add another trait: Restless! Always going here & there, in & out day & night. To his moms, his synagogue, the store, the bank, ect. Never one to hang around & be cozy. He wasn't just covert, but also overt & somatic depending on who/where his "audience" was. I'll never know who the real guy was.
@TheFaro20113 жыл бұрын
Yesssssss restlessness. This was big
@charlottemuller22333 жыл бұрын
Always think there missing something!!a never want what’s home!!
@demetriuslester3 жыл бұрын
BINGO! Their ACTIONS and WORDS never, never, never line up!!! #facts
@tovenrvik63363 жыл бұрын
There are something off wt Narcissists.
@patsyjohnson39633 жыл бұрын
@@tovenrvik6336 Yes. They are really "out there".
@jamiewilliams8293 жыл бұрын
The narcissists i know never seem to stick to plans they make in advance,they dont know what they want
@pinnakal13 жыл бұрын
Yep. Will bail out last minute.
@patsyjohnson39633 жыл бұрын
Really? I thought they kept an appointment book with plans made in advance then disappeared 2 to 3 days to carry out whatever they are trying to pull over on someone else.
@tulanzuya3 жыл бұрын
Word of caution from my own sad experience with these people....guard your sentimental or valuable stuff closely! They will break, destroy, sell, give away and disappear it if they know it is important to you. That includes pets, who they will harm covertly if you don't protect them 24/7.
@nyxbellatrix0113 жыл бұрын
So true! I’ve experienced this.
@harlequinhead20082 жыл бұрын
YES YES YES - its the worst especially if it’s an animal. NEVER chance it!
@honoryourself20983 жыл бұрын
Mother’s eyes very very quickly used to glaze over when I tried to communicate with her as a teenager. Can’t even imagine how disengaged she must have been when I was an infant
@jeanettecook10883 жыл бұрын
You're not alone. I felt like an orphan even though both parents lived in our house. Live your life today and enjoy every moment.
@trumpeterswan41773 жыл бұрын
Yes same here. To this day she treats me like a stranger so I ended our relationship and have peace at last.
@jeanettecook10883 жыл бұрын
@@trumpeterswan4177 I had to do the same thing. I said the same thing too.... Peace at last. 😌
@witchmonster13723 жыл бұрын
Mine too
@witchmonster13723 жыл бұрын
I have refered to myself as my mom's "doll" since I was 8 years old
@APlus-qx7no3 жыл бұрын
Re. Words and actions not aligning: At the airport, my covert ex kissed me goodbye and told me he loved me. Then he didn't return any of my text messages before his plane took off or when he landed at his hub. If he had loved me, he wouldn't have ghosted me.
@abowling57593 жыл бұрын
Very true!....I am so sorry you got ghosted.... it’s very hurtful to know they never meant a word of what they said to you and that everything about them was a lie......But be glad of the blessing you have such a deceitful person out of your life.
@user-zy8gk2nn7d3 жыл бұрын
everything to confuse you and when you are in that state to abuse you even more - bc you can not protect yourself
@shirleymorales31613 жыл бұрын
🤣 cute ! You were just playing right ? Cause that is probably not ghosting I think ? 🤔
@anndillard86813 жыл бұрын
Their best talent is ghosting --
@pauladuncanadams17503 жыл бұрын
Are you sure that's ghosting??? Doesn't sound like it. Sounds like someone in airplane mode trying to take off and then get bags. No offense, but your comment sounds a bit insecure or BPD to me.
@lil--mo20253 жыл бұрын
100% spot on. I’ve observed these exact behaviors over and over again in a few of my girlfriends. They always come back after I leave and “promise” they are changed and “they will show me!” Lol...it’s only a couple weeks max and they are doing the same old same of even worse and when pointed out they deny, deflect, gaslight, blameshift and then set double binds. It’s amazing to watch just how contradictory they are. Nothing they say or do is real and they have absolutely zero morality or ethics. Quite literally a double conundrum. Stay away if you get away and never let them back in...you will regret it more and more each time. You are just a game to them.
@aannddrryyaa3 жыл бұрын
I think it must be one of the hardest breakthroughs to achieve when you were raised by a narcissist(s). How can you know what is normal ... until you start acting out as a teen and then everyone thinks it's the teen.
@kadootje773 жыл бұрын
Oh Jill I wish we were best friends.....spot on as always....It's so true they don't listen, they turn the topic around to themselves, or they half listen and pick out the words they can use against you later, with that I mean twist your words into falsehoods or use them to enforce them back to 'blackmail' you or 'guilt' you
@oscarwilliamson12643 жыл бұрын
Kadootje77,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!!
@liesbethdevries49863 жыл бұрын
#9 When you share your personal misfortune in the handling of a certain matter, the narcissist will directly berate you of your "wrong doing". The covert attack is straight out projection. 🧐💯
@christianpulisic77843 жыл бұрын
Liesbeth de Vries,You look cute 🌷🌹,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!
@mogznwaz3 жыл бұрын
I was in a 'relationship' with a narcissist for 6 years. Once I worked it out I temporarily became like him and exacted my revenge. I did it to win back my self-confidence, but also because I didn't want this freak to ever contact me again. It worked 😁👍
@VengefulPolititron3 жыл бұрын
1. their concern seems phoney 2. you have to be detective to figure them out. 3. they are terrible listeners. (bored, dismissive of your thoughts) 4. words and actions don't line up (pig-will, who doesn't) 5. make you feel guilty (pity and guilt-trip) 6. feel indebted to them, because of what they did for us 7. secret addiction, secret life 8. manipulate helpful people (narcissistic supply is to act as a victim)
@flowerpower49443 жыл бұрын
This is a great video, the one I was with was very very cunning, he deserved an Emmy Award for his persona,
@reinapatricia67172 жыл бұрын
Omg! Same, should have been on Broadway
@hawaiigirl80893 жыл бұрын
My narc would say “I never catch a break, never”! Then throw his hands up in the air.
@mdee8603 жыл бұрын
Yes! Fluctuating between In a fake alpha & "Poor, poor me. People always underestimated me." Cry me a river. He's a Covert & a misogynist! Only targets his long term partner or wife, behind closed doors. Mr. Calm & mellow to everyone else. 🤮🤮🤮
@independentvoter24483 жыл бұрын
@@mdee860 Amazing! Narc seems to be cut from the same cloth
@Jezebel0663 жыл бұрын
My covert narc IS helpful. He’s always there for everyone. Ppl everyone adore him. He’s charming. Charismatic. Funny. It’s why I kept on & on trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. Why he hates me so much when I love him so so much.. I think he believes he’s a God. Really. He wants to be a good man, but keeps destroying women. Only women
@tovenrvik63363 жыл бұрын
They are nice to everyone but their partner, Narcissistic men have huge Mommy issues, and they hate women...
@charlottemuller22333 жыл бұрын
Don’t care about what they have!! It’s the thrill of the hunt!!!
@andersa34483 жыл бұрын
My ex narc girlfriend is a nurse and now a Life coach.....
@godlovesyousomuch58943 жыл бұрын
Most of them are pan sexual or bi
@godlovesyousomuch58943 жыл бұрын
This could explain why he mistreats women He secretly wants the power we have over men bc of what God made us look like
@sharonwaddell25483 жыл бұрын
I love it when they try and make you feel guilty. Not going to happen.
@happy4feet13 жыл бұрын
Mine was a cheater and very manipulative. He claims victim status. It is crazy making!!!!
@ladennayoung29393 жыл бұрын
That is call gaslighting, and all of them do that. That is part of what make them narcissistic. My ex would always accuse me of being stuck in my past. He would tell me that I only accused him if cheating. Because I was consumed with what happened in my past relationship. Smh.
@charlottemuller22333 жыл бұрын
flip everything back on you !!!
@steffiebeffie34683 жыл бұрын
So true. Sometimes they interrupt the conversation and make it about them.
@lohrss3 жыл бұрын
One of the things that all narcs share is they bully those they envy (not just those that are empathetic). In other words, they treat those they are most threatened by covertly while "respecting" those they know are beneath them. In a way it's the ultimate back handed compliment.
@sweaters_and_harmony95253 жыл бұрын
Gosh, I think the hardest lesson learned for me was learning to believe my ex narc friend when she showed me who she really was. The signs were there, but I chose not to pay attention to them...because I did not want them to be real. Now, I always believe who someone is the first time I watch their behavior. #lifelessons
@charlottemuller22333 жыл бұрын
Wishin, hopen,thinking,prayen !!!!!! Just like the song.....Butyourunder a spell that can only be broke by no contact!!!
@kellithomas90809 ай бұрын
Actions over words, any day! My new motto.
@thelasttrumpet29153 жыл бұрын
Narcs don’t have relationships with people, they have interactions.
@misteque84773 жыл бұрын
I left him after 20 years and now he is doing everything right while love bombing lol He is a master at using my emotions and empathy against me
@sharonrenedavenport89953 жыл бұрын
Don’t Do It !! BLOCK/DELETE GO NO CONTACT !!
@misteque84773 жыл бұрын
@@sharonrenedavenport8995 Oh I will never take him back now that I understand what he was doing to me for the last 20 years Nothing but devastating pain and confusion . He comes over to visit the kids
@garycordle52953 жыл бұрын
You must work on the emotional thinking about them, and learn to let go of these toxic people that don't serve you at all 👍
@hugmc3 жыл бұрын
Leave him in the gutter were he belongs. And don’t dare even look back for a glance. 🙏
@abowling57593 жыл бұрын
@@misteque8477 Good for you!♥️♥️♥️
@karriphillips50903 жыл бұрын
30 years- experienced all you are describing with covert narc. Still healing after 3 years. Heal I certainly will & flourish to never again allow such a toxic robot in my life. Thank you🙂💐
@joysoyo24163 жыл бұрын
We need to spot narcissists and get them out of our lives.
@mariankeller58523 жыл бұрын
I know exactly what your talking about..my narc could care less what happens to me..its always " but what about me? " or " you don't care about me" he's always the victim..never the winner in any situation..
@jennywager62283 жыл бұрын
I witnessed some very odd behaviour. One of the things which really puzzled me was he hid behind a wall in the cinema while we were married. I thought oh another woman! But no. I walked up to where he was hiding and called him out. He pretended he hadn’t seen me and our son, oh hello, he said. I was miffed. There was lots of stuff he did that left me like, wtf! It makes sense now as I discovered so much of he deviant behaviours were all for a reason in his twisted lying and financial abuse.
@shirleymorales31613 жыл бұрын
They aren't interested if they aren't getting what they want or your not useful to them in that hour
@MagicMaShaman3 жыл бұрын
As always you are 'spot on" Thank you for helping me to recover and learn more ❤🌹❤
@ciachef143 жыл бұрын
Demons from Hell👿👿👿
@crystalferguson73083 жыл бұрын
I’m an empath and it took me 3 relationships and almost 30 yrs later for me to learn that that pain had a name.. Narcissist. God led me to know what I was dealing with all of those years. And the sad thing is, I just left out of the 3rd relationship with one cause I’m trying to protect my new boundaries, but I miss her so much. I feel so guilty walking away, but I know one day I will appreciate the fact that I did. I was sorta in a relationship with one for 20+ yrs. I tried to heal with my love and always talking about Jesus, but Jesus led me to the facts that Only He Can Heal a heal a heart that is as broken as a narcissists heart is. He’s the Only One that can heal a broken heart of anyone and He’s doing that for me even now. After watching your video I realize I already knew the signs of a narcissist. I know full fact that I will Never Ever get involved with another narcissist. It’s time to start learning to love me better and heal. It’s time to go grab ahold of my dreams and work on me for a while until God sends me the man that will treat me like Heaven on Earth. I know I deserve that kinda love before I leave this earth as much Hell that I’ve already lived through with narcissists. Thanks to God, I know my worth. I am Not Trash!!! I AM ENOUGH!!! And I do Love Me. Just need to learn to Love Me Better. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us. Much love and light from one empath to another. ♥️✨
@tyroneblume30463 жыл бұрын
Wow! This video exposes the nature of the convert narcissism in detail. The covert narcissist are extremely cautious around grounded people with high level of intelligence and morals, blend well with empaths if undetected. These hurting souls wear layers of masks over the genuine self, similar to schizophrenia and sociopath. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
@AmorDivino-e5q3 жыл бұрын
My ex narc told me so many lies, and when confronted about it, he just keep silent or accused me of being to critical with him, the blaming game. He had alcohol problems and kept many secrets about him from me. He only expected me, to be there taking care of him forever, but didn't gave a f*ck about my well being, just gave me some crumbs once in a while. It's all very destructive and evil and take a long time to heal afterwards. Thanxs for your advice. 🌻
@cathythomas85463 жыл бұрын
I went through the same thing. My Covert Narc Always made comments like .. "You cant leave Me ..Who will take care of me.. Or Who will help take care of My Mom and Dad .. "Its only Me. And Im not in good health!" I was his nurse at his GP's office. Thats how we met. He too had an alcohol problem.
@earthangel31083 жыл бұрын
Oh my gosh. This is my life at the moment.
@Mea_Davis-Sotonade3 жыл бұрын
I'm so glad you were able to break free Nerea!!
@francesbernard24453 жыл бұрын
Thanks again. If it hadn't been for reminders like this one instead of just more guilt trips being laid onto me I might have just continued to sink deeper and deeper instead while feeing too alone into a pit of both resentment while being detective instead of pie in the sky believing in their 'help' or promises of change.
@misterpeppercorn30783 жыл бұрын
Very accurate description of my older brother a Covert Narc. He may also be borderline. After many years of putting up with his abuse I've gone full no contact. The best thing. I feel so free now.
@joelmyers5363 жыл бұрын
Narcs need to be taken out. I'm being serious.
@jolly77283 жыл бұрын
This is yet another excellent presentation of important content. I can't help but think about how vital it is to spot narcissist traits early on -- say, when on your first date or even in advance of that -- so you can drop the person before he or she worms their way into your life and tries to ruin it. The following old fashioned saying is as valid today as it was when Benjamin Franklin first came up with it many years ago: "An ounce of prevention Is worth a pound of cure, meaning it is better and easier to stop a problem, illness, etc., from happening than to stop or correct it after it has started. (Merriam-Webster).
@msshellt76123 жыл бұрын
Hey Jill, Michele here from New Jersey, USA....❤ I live with a psycho narc....the other pandemic! Love your mech!!!!🤣🤣🤣
@oscarwilliamson12643 жыл бұрын
MsShell T,I admire your lovely smile 😊!!
@tovenrvik63363 жыл бұрын
I hope you leave him, those men abuse their partner and can't make others happy.
@wandagoncalves30493 жыл бұрын
Hi, excellent video, so after being married to a covert for 32 years and being discarded. I now come to the realization that my mother too is a covert. The lies, tricks, manipulation, hoover, gaslighting and victim play are all too familiar. I tell you if it were not for me experiencing this abuse first hand, I wouldn't believe. BE AWARE COVERTS ARE VERY VERY CUNNING.
@treeoflife25823 жыл бұрын
They will only be there as long as they know they can benefit from it. Yes, the guilt tripping is what made me try and try again to work things out because I was led into thinking I did wrong. But really the issue is not me, it's them. 😢 I almost lost my identity until I had to leave for my sanity.
@jennyp49343 жыл бұрын
My mother used to say how much she helped me with my car insurance and similar stuff. However she demanded about 70% of my income for board, so I didn't have enough money for basic living needs. I did all the housework and drove her everywhere as she didn't drive, so to my way of thinking she needed to help with paying my car insurance simply so that she had transportation.
@duromusabc3 жыл бұрын
Accurate video ! Thank you! I personally know some covert narcissists in my life and I can relate from my experience with these coverts to these weird behaviors The big one is the poor listening skills
@charlottemuller22333 жыл бұрын
Oh they listen if it’s about other people!!
@debbietippett47542 жыл бұрын
Thanks 😊 for offering this important information. I believe I had been married to a covert narcissist. In fact I thought of him as a PJ (pity junkie).who would change things to make him look like the victim when he caused the problem to begin with. Such evil 😈
@wendytimms45153 жыл бұрын
You hit the nail on the head with this video... thank you.
@truescotsman41033 жыл бұрын
My sister is a covert narcissist she exhibits all of these symptoms. She's so funny sometimes she'll go and smoke a cigarette and you can smell it on her. She claims she's a non-smoker absolutely adamant she never smokes she used to. I've confronted her a couple of times and she doubles down hardcore. The nose knows
@h2orainwater393 жыл бұрын
This is my ex girlfriend. I've never been more mentally hurt from any one person in my life . I loved her and did so much for her . And she discarded me like I was garbage. So she could be with someone else.
@marymitchell4453 жыл бұрын
Ex-narc would state how he's done this or that for me. Meanwhile, I'm thinking, 'what are you talking about, you never did those things for me, it must've been your other girlfriend! They really do think we are so stupid! Not!!
@Dingle12343 жыл бұрын
The agonizing thing about when it's your child is the guilt...parents are already targets for this, the child finding justification for outlandish atrocities in ordinary parental mistakes
@wadeparker86953 жыл бұрын
Thank you and God bless you Jill for being here🙏🏼😎
@longislandny6963 жыл бұрын
You’ve just described my soon to be ex narcissist husband,which is why I left him almost 2 years ago.
@jeanneeber2 жыл бұрын
That's "ex husband narcissist"-he's your ex-but there's no such thing as an ex-narcissist. (I know what you meant. This is for the newbies).
@kypie82 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this awesome, informative video! The ‘secret life of a narcissist’ part really struck home. I can attest to witnessing this very shady behavior & lack of vulnerability/openness of the covert narcissist
@haphazard_mtb62413 жыл бұрын
ooof, the concern always comes with a price! It will be used against you in the future.
@narcabusevictimgermany96873 жыл бұрын
What Type of Narc is a mother that demands thank you’d and presents and once you give them presents, they say „no, I don’t want it, you should save your money!!!!“
@patsyjohnson39633 жыл бұрын
A mother who secretly wants but down deep,does not feel she deserves.
@lavinamontoya81643 жыл бұрын
Sometimes I need to hear something like this just to remind me why I stop talking to my sister, at least the last one I still kept in contact with. She was always in need of something specially money but also clothes which had to be exactly like my own clothes bought in the same place, appliances like washing machines, refrigerators, blender, a tablet and phone etc and I was so stupid that I really bought into that sh... of hers and happily gave her all those things. Not only that, she was also in my budget so every single month for years, I sent her the equivalent of my own rent. But it was never enough she was always crying hard and loud begging for more money and reminding me of all the sacrifices she made taking care of our ancient mother. During which time I of course also sent them money and things they needed. One year for her birthday I gifted her a shopping trolley I bought in IKEA but she made a scene because she wanted to be sure that it was exactly the same I had, same color same size same wheels etc. I had to show her a picture of myself with my own shopping trolley just to reassure her and calm her down. I went bankrupt twice in ten years, but the last and third time about two years ago was it. I was done with her. Not because I went bankrupt but because of her reaction when I told her I had no money. She said literally that she needed "her" money and I owed her. I had a combined nervous/anxiety attack for days and weeks during which she kept texting me about "her" money and when I would send it to her. I blocked her as well as all our common contacts and started the hard road to healing myself and my economy. Now I am still in the recovery path hoping that some day I will get to a better place. And if you are asking yourselves where do I get all this money from? The answer is: my pension! I am 69, retired and have minimum pension so in this country I am considered very low income, living in a social housing unit and my sister knew that, she just didn't care of anything but herself. Now the worst is over although sometimes I still feel guilty for not taking care of her, but most of the time I am ok and thinking that is was about time I started to take care of myself. Love and compassion to all of you that had to and still are carrying this burden. Life is hard in itself, no need for leeches to suck blood, money resources and peace of mind from us. And what did I learn from all this? Fill your glass until it is full and if you want, fill another glass until it is full and another one. When all your three glasses are full, then consider sharing the rest with someone who really needs. Not your sister or the likes of her but somebody that really needs: refuges, homeless families and children, homeless dogs and cats. That is much more fulfilling than a heartless narcissistic person. ❤️❤️❤️
@fatima-zahrakajji48213 жыл бұрын
Its such a shame that your kindness and generosity was viewed as a weakness. I am so happy to hear that in the golden years of life there is still hope for people because you are the example. The leader of change that has made the brave decision to stop allowing others to control their decisions and become your own master. Master of your own needs, wants, thoughts and outcomes in life. I'm so happy to hear you survived the anxiety attacks and I wish you all the best. Truly a remarkable road towards recovery and a tumultuous journey with so many golden nuggets to learn from and apply in our lives. You inspired me today. Thank you. So happy you cut your losses and I hope you never allow others or fear or shame or guilt to persuade you to loose courage and do as they want. Keep shining. God bless
@msb21723 жыл бұрын
Nailed it! I checked off all 8 without hesitation for my ex-narc. Thank you for confirming and clarifying all this. It gives me peace of mind and freedom.
@carolinet4343 жыл бұрын
Thank you! This describes a couple of former friends that i had to go no contact with. Abusive, sneaky, secretive, all style no substance!
@tinajohnson75243 жыл бұрын
Wow!! I can't believe how the guy I dated was an 8 out of 8 to the T. Thanks. I was beginning to think I was losing MY MIND! So insightful! Thank you so much. I love your videos!
@christianpulisic77843 жыл бұрын
Tina Johnson,You look stunning 🌹🌷🌷
@florencioperez85223 жыл бұрын
Being an extremely powerful empath... It has made my life terrible. My energy can be felt miles and miles away. But the narcs no longer have power over me.
@fifilafleur55553 жыл бұрын
Another great video, Jill! 🌷🌿🌷
@debram99983 жыл бұрын
The Video's content is excellent and Spot-on.
@hawaiigirl80893 жыл бұрын
Hi 🙋🏼♀️ Jill! You always have excellent points! I WISH I KNEW THIS YEARS AGO
@kimbam12823 жыл бұрын
Your video came just in time for me.... I subbed to your channel... I was ready to seek counseling.... My whole family is like this.... Beyond the point where it's driving my blood pressure very high.... I even talk to my primary care doctor about it
@cindypabst92932 жыл бұрын
It is so creepy! My stomach feels weird when I am with my friend. She is constantly telling me how much she is loved by others
@misteque84773 жыл бұрын
On the money with all you mention in this video... Thank you for what you do
@johncranford21943 жыл бұрын
Your so spot on. Thank you so much.
@dapage53 жыл бұрын
Man, this is the best video that I’ve heard so far, that explains exactly what I’ve gone through for so many wasted years. Amazing, thank you.
@jennicase3 жыл бұрын
Most people experience this in romantic relationships but mine is my mother in law. It's a different dynamic and hard to find support for this situation.
@yimahuguley1903 жыл бұрын
Same here girl, I also have the narc grandmother in-law and cousin in law it’s insane.
@tovenrvik63363 жыл бұрын
Narcissistic mothers destroy their babies bcs they don't mirror, hug and comfort their babies, they only see their child as an extension of themselvs.
@charlottemuller22333 жыл бұрын
Stay away!! Not married to her!!
@jeanneeber2 жыл бұрын
Not me! Mother, brothers, sisters AND all their spouses! B'Bye! It's been 7 years now!
@jeanneeber2 жыл бұрын
@@yimahuguley190 Keep them AWAY from your children. They'll destroy whatever YOU love-for spite!
@kitsmith6933 жыл бұрын
like dating Siri they don’t relate on any level
@hawaiigirl80893 жыл бұрын
Oh mine would lame excuse- i got lost!
@91GT3472 жыл бұрын
Ive used those exact words SO many times. “Say what you mean and mean what you say.”
@HB0372 жыл бұрын
What I’ve found is they listen but act like they (constantly say shut up) but then I reply, you stop listening then (they don’t understand) but it allows me to side step the word salad.
@markhannay75863 жыл бұрын
It must be hard to do a shorter video describing these individuals. So...................good job!
@Chahlie3 жыл бұрын
So Jill, I find that I can now identify these people real quick, which is great, but I find that I don't want to have anything to do with them, it's just too triggering. Do I spend my life just staying away from them? They are everywhere. It's only been a couple years of healing for me, after 50 years of abuse. I don't want to have to keep to myself forever.
@abowling57593 жыл бұрын
From my experience, NC is the best strategy for dealing with them.....anything less only gives them ammunition to use in order to hurt you....find good people when you can
@charlottemuller22333 жыл бұрын
World is full of them!! Keep living if it happens again,you now know to get out and not wish,hope,think and pray!!
@shastadolan24273 жыл бұрын
A covert narcissist is every woman’s nightmare. I’ve lived with one for 34 years, and to this day it’s awful. Everything you mentioned in your vídeo is absolutely right. Thank you Jill for sharing your vast knowledge of narcissism with us. Love your videos!!!🤗
@virginiaomoniyi75943 жыл бұрын
You are so right as i,m going through it and have been seeing this behaviour for quite a while now
@richardguzman64263 жыл бұрын
My ex would always accuse me of cheating when I would just brag about her on social media with pictures n stuff. She looked into my past and I told her about it n she used it against me. She complained about everything , I'm a single father of 2 daughters 16 and 13 . She would say things about them ugly things . Ugly things about me and deceased parents as well. Threatened to sleep with other people if I didn't go over. Y would I want to go over if she's mad or complaining she was abusive. I tried so hard for a year and a half to get away she wouldn't let me. She made my life a living hell. Showed up to my job my apartment starting drama. I have a thing we're I'm passive and forget easily . After the first month I got bad vibes off this woman but something kept me there idk what. She gave me gifts n took them all back. Gave me money when I was struggling and took it back or if not she was gonna try n get me beat up. I was lost for a year . And that's cause I got out of a 7 year relationship with my previous ex who lied about breast cancer for 4 years and took money from my family church. Idk wat it is that I attract these woman I do think I am a empath. I'm a pisces ♓ male and 35 years old and I can honestly say I'm done with woman for a while I think almost every one is narcissistic due to social media these days . Great video by the way 🙂.
@hawaiigirl80893 жыл бұрын
I thought he was just stupid as he truly never listened then later would swear i never said it
@lindaspiess35453 жыл бұрын
I thought my narc had early onset dementia! I was with him 2 years, and I thought he was clearly losing his mind. Only later did I realize he thought he would make me lose mine. I have to laugh...
@youdontknowme62982 жыл бұрын
Every single one..every single thing. I never in a million years thought he was a narc. I knew he was moody, angry, anxious and a liar. Porn and sex workers. Knew he could be verbally abusive. And very emotionally needy. But he definitely isn’t grandiose, he actually plays pity party for himself. After 11 years, I am free!!!!! I am not sad. I feel empowered and ready to show up as the amazing woman and mother I am. Thank you so much for this.
@Mea_Davis-Sotonade3 жыл бұрын
Spot on my goodness!!!! Finally breaking free and going through a very hard divorce!!