Trauma-Bonded Relationships Make You Addicted to Cycles of Abandonment

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Trauma-Bonded Relationships Make You Addicted to Cycles of Abandonment

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Күн бұрын

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Trauma bonding is a powerful emotional attachment --- even addiction -- that can result when someone gives you STRONG love, alternating with harm, neglect and abandonment. It can trigger you to feel MORE attached, even to the point of desperation. Anyone can fall prey to it, but especially those who grew up in dysfunctional families, where alternating cycles of love and abandonment may have primed to attach to hot/cold partners. In this "best of" compilation of my videos about trauma bonding, I'll teach what it looks like, how it happens, and what to do to set yourself free.
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Пікірлер: 143

@di3486 11 ай бұрын

Once you heal, the rollercoaster becomes the most undesirable thing in the world, it seems childish and ridiculous. You start enjoying peace, stability and healthy.

@kitkat615 11 ай бұрын

This is so so so so so so so true. Someone tried this with me after this last big big big firey relationship I had, and the way I explained it to this next guy was that this was like a Forrest fire.. and my trees have all already been burned to the ground. There's nothing left to burn here. So he had to take his fire elsewhere else lol

@di3486 11 ай бұрын

@@kitkat615 woah, such a great analogy!

@kitkat615 11 ай бұрын

@di3486 I know I couldn't believe it either even when I said it 😅❤ but it was just exactly how I had felt. There just was no more matter to burn up here, & he was going to have to take that fire somewhere else to burn. Peace & restoration comes only after the flames have burned everything down ✌️ ☮️

@Althea1111 11 ай бұрын

Absolutely! 💯

@joannawrzelikowska3273 11 ай бұрын

❤😊

@pauladuncanadams1750 11 ай бұрын

You don't ask for no contact, you take it!

@andziagreen4922 3 ай бұрын

Well said👏 if someone treat you like this you do it to protect yourself

@temi4116 Ай бұрын

That's MY style!

@thomaslee8088 11 ай бұрын

This is one of the few channels, where I actually go to the comments feed and expect to become wiser

@ijustwanttosay9369 11 ай бұрын

My abusive ex told me he “wasn’t a good bet” and I really wish I would have believed him instead of seeing it as a cry for help and an indication of low self-esteem that my love could possibly help save him from. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Believing him would have saved me over a decade of emotional and psychological abuse that was sadly edging towards physical right before I kicked him out.

@violettrenches 11 ай бұрын

Wow same thing with my alcoholic ex. He would I deserved better and I shouldn’t be with him. I so wish I had listened and knew then what I know now. If someone says they’re bad news, run.

@MassageMagick1111 11 ай бұрын

I know right! One guy told me he was crazy. I’m my immature head I thought ‘we’re all crazy’ two years later he was hospitalized in a mental ward. I asked the next guy if he was emotionally unavailable. He told me that emotionally inadequate was more like it. I should’ve listened! To both of them! That would’ve saved me a lot of trouble.

@oops-iam708 11 ай бұрын

@@MassageMagick1111 I hope things are better now for you

@honesty247 11 ай бұрын

Same thing with my husband. A decade of him chipping away at me and the emotional abuse I endured.

@faln2pieces 11 ай бұрын

Oof. My partner says this. I worry about whether to stay. He wants to change and has changed some, but I need to get better at listening to what people tell me about themselves.

@kathleenblair7278 11 ай бұрын

I was addicted to a man that I met online. It was horrible because I knew it had no future - it was erotic, lonely, everything I did not want. When I spoke to him in person I realized how much I had grown by listening to Crappy Childhood Fairy. Growth is frightening and painful. You see, I had been alone for 30 years from fear of getting involved and abandoned.

@boogingtonthunderwood8969 11 ай бұрын

I’ve lived Martin’s situation more than once in my adult life. Once I understood what was going on, the resentment for my crazy abusive mother and her abusive bat$#!+ sisters became monumental for planting the seed in my single-digit years that it’s my duty to sacrifice my own happiness in order for them to have theirs. Some people should NEVER have kids.

@helenatroy33 11 ай бұрын

So many damaged people out there. Hopefully they find you and heal. There is a pandemic of mental illness. Even if you heal, please be aware many haven't so tread carefully.

@shaggybuckaroo 11 ай бұрын

"you think too linearly" happened to me too... And here is a good one... "Don't take it personally"... Anyone saying these things to shut you down.. does not care about you...

@human_4real 11 ай бұрын

Invalidating triggers me so much. Makes me see red, used to shut down, pendulum swung all the way 😅

@lizvtaz6 11 ай бұрын

I have been in a relationship with a woman, where I could not really tell if we were dating or not. We were both 17/18 at the time. She was weird, she was actually withholding sex when we have agreed to actually meet specifically to have sex. Also she would be absent for month, I was convinced that she forgot about me but then she showed up as if we were still dating. I am gonna be completely honest and say that her tricks did not really work on me. I was just super confused and her weird behavior actually made me low key rude towards her. Also I was not an extremely kind person. A couple of times I was like outrageously rude towards her. She acted as if every moment she calles I should leave my friends and go to her immidiately. So I just loved telling her how much my friends mean to me. I kinda wanted to show her that she is definitely not more important than them. There was once a time when she went "Don't you wanna apologize?" and I went "I am sorry that I made you see that this friend is more important to me than you are". She also tried to push me into trying drugs once. I just left. We were both women, so it was a lesbian relationship. Honestly, this relationship forever left me wondering why she was so weird. I left her after 6 month. Also I feel like...how shall I put it... I was not the best version of myself when I was with her. I have never even been so shamelessly rude and borderline abusive (as I was with her) ever again. I felt like she was "asking for it" and I was happy to deliver. This sounds very wrong but this is how was. Avoid those "trauma bond" people at all cost. Even if they will not trap you they will make you into an abuser.

@shaggybuckaroo 11 ай бұрын

@@lizvtaz6 yes, I have definitely seen that .. if you keep staying in a relationship with an abuser, you will either lose your energy and get sick on different levels, or end up being abusive too.. or both... It seems to me that Women abusers are the most tricky and can really hook you in quick.. and then the game is on... (Not that you were really wanting to play such a messed up game)...

@lizvtaz6 11 ай бұрын

@@shaggybuckaroo It seems like huge amount of women end up with really abusive men. So it must be 50/50. But women definitely use a cultural bias to their advantage. Many of them try to present as a hurt little soul that just needs your help and once you are hooked they try to suck your soul out. But they are not more dangerous than men. Toxic men and women are equally dangerous. My point was that even tho her "game" did not really work on me and I did not really feel very attached to her, she still managed to make me into an abuser. That does say something about me of course but the way I behaved around her was not my stereotypical behavior. I don't think I have ever been as mean towards any single person in my life as I was towards her. Because I could tell that everything she does, she does deliberately but instead of quickly leaving her I went all in with abuse. Nothing truly terrible, but as I have said I was just extremely rude and most of her toxic manipulative behavior I treated as if that was a joke, so I laughed at her. Like I felt completely shameless because she was not a good person. Honestly I don't know why she did not leave me herself. But she was probably very interested in having an unhealthy relationship like this so she would not just leave. This shows how dangerous they are. They don't even need to hook you properly for you to behave weird around them and they will not leave you alone. Definitely important to avoid such characters.

@shekar222 5 ай бұрын

Another phrase is “you overthink”

@merncat3384 11 ай бұрын

Does anyone ever sit back and think about how different the world could be if we all understood, recognized and work through these things. I think about how many lives have been not only hurt but absolutely destroyed unnecessarily. 😞 it really hurts bad. I see thousands of comments online from people who can relate. Just imagine all of those lives plus how many other lives are affected by each one of those people.. friendships, children, parents (obviously) co-workers, everyone..

@natalienufer9262 10 ай бұрын

“Where are you unhealed…where are you vulnerable to abuse”

@carmenkamberos1156 11 ай бұрын

Ana, you’re great! You may not have a PHD as a clinician or therapist hanging on the wall but you sure have a PhD from the School of Life, which is real, you lived it , and has come to see it first hand, not from books, which is learning from other’s experiences. Keep up the good work. And thanks, your videos are unique and revealing. Good job!

@sarai8083 11 ай бұрын

I was 20 yrs in a relationship it was highs and lows and I always believe in fighting for our relationship. The only thing I didn't know is how emotional abusive it was for me. I was in denial. I though I had to see the positive side of things and if he and me were together it had to because he loved me. Looking back I was devoted to him and I didn't prioritize myself. I did more for him. Thinking he would make me feel like he loved me. I now excepted and discovered that I had major trama from my childhood. I also became aware that I was with a narcissist. And why not? Both my parents have narcissistic traits and it was a disfuncional home. I became an addict to my ex husband. After eccepting I needed to heal and move on with my life with out him, I think he would see that and felt it too, that I was different. He would purposely try to trigger me by being emotionally abusive. My health was getting bad. I started to get panic attacks and heart palpitations. Any sign of friction with him my heart would race and I would get panic attacks. So it's been a little more than 2 yrs. since he discarded me. It felt like I could die. I never knew I would come out of it alive. But I am here. And in a off and on healing journey. I am doing my best with raising my two boys but it's been hard. I only want for things to just flow. I really want to be fully okay. Not just strong.

@SuperJimmytang 11 ай бұрын

Im sorry to hear about that Sara, a trauma bond is incredibly powerful so I can see how it happens. I went through similar for 5 years and it almost got physical as well. My head was spinning, should I stay, should I go. I miss the rollercoaster

@SaraAlessa277 11 ай бұрын

I really want to be fully okay. Not just strong. Your words resonate deeply with me. I believe in you. The load is heavy, but carrying it, makes us stronger, so that one day, we're going to realise, we're actually capable of handling it. We're fully okay with it. On a side note: being " just strong" makes you one hell of a women, mom, survivor.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 11 ай бұрын

I understand, and I found this Dating and Relationships course to be so healing :) bit.ly/CCF-Dating -Cara@TeamFairy

@LeannaRuthJensen 11 ай бұрын

The last line "healing can begin when you find it (your roll in trauma bonding)" So true. I was talking to a vampire, they reached out and held my hand and sweetly asked me to do something completely against my moral code. I was paralized for a moment I got up and walked away and replayed everything in my head as I walked. I realized I so craved a connection that just holding my hand was enough... I was immediately angry, but also clear headed when I made the connection. I returned to the vampire and when they reached for my hands again I withheld them and told them I could not do as they requested and I left. This brief moment in time gave me so much clarity and food for thought. Thank you for giving me a name for trauma bonding. (I called it "carrot on a stick", because of the sensation of being offered something that was always just out of reach.) Knowledge is power.

@Water_is_Sacred777 11 ай бұрын

There was a time I was vulnerable to a trauma bond. I didn't even know what that was. I do now because of you Anna. I still have moments of feeling pulled in, energy wise, but I know it's deceptive. Some people have a way of entering your spirit and even infecting your mind. Years ago I read Robert Greene's The Art of Seduction only so I could learn how not to get played. It worked and saved me from going head first into situations that were not in my best interests. I still can have a wisp of a moment but I pray and it passes and I know now about trauma bonds which Greene does not go into. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for showing me the way!❤

@merncat3384 11 ай бұрын

Same. For the first time in my life, at 47 years old, I'm learning that I have actually gone through this too many times. Now I'm trying to determine the difference between limerence, trauma bonding and whatever real love is (I guess I have to understand what it is first, in order to recognize it) I'm grateful to be learning about this all now but very sad and frustrated we didn't have this information 30 plus years ago, many of our lives would look totally different.

@Water_is_Sacred777 11 ай бұрын

I am learning at 65 y/o how important it is to be healed from past traumas and misconceptions about relationships before I would ever get into one again. At this stage I don't look but I do have options. I am finally at peace in my life, no drama, and I value the stability. I don't want to give that up. If I ever did it again he would have to be on the path to healing from past dysfunctions too. This is why the options are just options... You are still young enough to get the understanding you need moving forward. This channel is perfect for that. Blessings and good wishes ❤

@merncat3384 11 ай бұрын

@@Water_is_Sacred777 I agree with everything you said, thank you, I appreciate that. Good luck with everything too ❤️

@Water_is_Sacred777 11 ай бұрын

You bet! Thanks for the kind reply :)@@merncat3384

@savioartwork 4 ай бұрын

@@merncat3384 - totally❗

@noturbo 11 ай бұрын

and thats exactly how it felt all my energy sucked out and then discarded me once i was empty.

@oddoneout854 11 ай бұрын

It was very comforting to hear the first story because I'm in a similar position. She wants me close enough but not too close. I pull away and she draws me back in. Then she goes cold and contemptuous.

@AuntyNick. 11 ай бұрын

Addictions are the same across the board. Wether it be a substance, a person, sex, gambling, shopping, gaming...

@thecommonsensecapricorn 11 ай бұрын

Wow I just realized my last relationship was a trauma bond. He would have sex with me and tell me he loved me and wanted to have kids with me, and then he’d ignore me for months. I’m getting teary thinking about it, I was in agonizing pain. It was the first real heartbreak I had. He’d come back and act like nothing happened. I’d be upset but ultimately cave and it’d repeat like that for almost two years. I grieve for my younger self because I was so distraught and abandoned. I partied a lot at that time to deal with the pain. I guess I didn’t realize that still affects me emotionally, we did end up getting into a relationship and living together after all that, and I ended up being the one to leave him while he wanted to get married. Crazy turn of events, but that toxic behavior transferred into the relationship, even though he was in love with me.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 11 ай бұрын

You might want to check out Anna's Dating course. It can help with what you're going through. bit.ly/CCF-Dating -Cara@TeamFairy

@nopeace 11 ай бұрын

I’m so sorry that happened to you. You seem like a lovely person, and you didn’t deserve to be messed around like that ❤

@oops-iam708 11 ай бұрын

You said “cast to the wind” …….. and it made me think about military children and their flower of significance is the dandelion. I moved around so much, I feel to this day I still have nothing and often want to throw everything I have in the garbage (or cast it to the wind). I’ve finally lived the longest now in 1 place for 5 years and subconsciously it irritates me. This weird urge to MOVE….. be away. 🙈

@antsipodtouchhelp 11 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing. I myself was in a traumabond marriage for almost 20 years. ❤

@am-harris7458 10 ай бұрын

I am literally going through this NOW after a 1 month reconnection with an old high school friend! He posed as a friend and provided support when my younger sister recently got into a bad car accident. He even coaxed me to "share my trauma." Only to subsequently and very coldly freeze, ignore, and ice me out just after my sister got released from the hospital. As a childhood trauma victim, I feel stuck in this miserable vortex of avoidant, unavailable & abusive partners!😢😭😢😭

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 10 ай бұрын

Trauma-driven thinking can be discouraging. But never forget: Healing is possible! -The Fairy Team

@am-harris7458 10 ай бұрын

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you! 😇

@lovingmydog6196 11 ай бұрын

In my opinion, she’s using him to seduce or get the one that she really wants. Putting pictures up on FB was a way to let others know she’s taken which in her mind, will make other men crave her. A lot of men and women play those games.

@audrawest587 11 ай бұрын

All children should be taught this at dating age.

@bassfayce7740 11 ай бұрын

dear 🧚🏽…even though you’re not a therapist your insight into how people phrase their words in their letters offers a very interesting perspective. You have a knack for reading between the lines so us viewers can learn so much from community members’s letters. I super appreciate your work ❤ thank you 🙏🏽

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 11 ай бұрын

You’re very kind. I’ll make sure Anna reads your note. Nika@TeamFairy

@kathleenblair7278 11 ай бұрын

I have cried for 5 months. I take my meds and know I am crying out 30 years of suffering. I know things will get better. I think I could be friends with the online guy, but I dont think he could deal with my newfound boundaries. Time will tell.

@user-kd3tt5lr6m 11 ай бұрын

The first letter hit me so hard with the sudden declaration of potential sabotage and the de-evolution from there including being unwilling to define the problem while pushing for more and more space with occasional 'reunions'. I'm so grateful for these videos, sometimes I get to thinking I'm crazy or overbearing for feeling so frantic and then choosing to self-prioritize in order to save my sanity.

@lesleyM84 11 ай бұрын

absolutely was like being under a spell.. went hand in hand with an illegal substance addiction too.. man, those were some truly dark years.. 10+ years later, with no contact, he has reached back.. we have been sober and active participants in life for over 8 years👍🏼💕.. now i see him as the complete goofball he truly is🤣🤣😂😂🤓👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

@julianowak5278 8 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your work Anna! Right now I am struggling with traumabond while withdrawing from relationship and it hearts soooo much. And so few ppl in the world understand that and how that is feel. It is not normal grief. It is undescrible pain. And watching your videos where you describing and naming this is soo helping for me.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 8 ай бұрын

I'm sorry you're going through that, we're all sending you support and encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@grmpEqweer 11 ай бұрын

The first one: avoidant attachment be like that. Block her and move on, my dude, she's not able to be who you need.

@thecommonsensecapricorn 11 ай бұрын

She’s not avoidant though… like Anna said, avoidants don’t rush into relationships and love bomb and tell you they want to move in with you. She’s just manipulative and yeah probably narcissistic. I have avoidant attachment style and I would never say/do any of the things she did. Im aloof and one foot in/one foot out. I withhold emotions and talk of the future. That’s the opposite of all he described this girl to be. Avoidants get unfairly stereotyped as being players or being the negative of the attachment styles - we’re just emotionally unavailable and struggle to commit/be all in because we’re afraid of being abandoned. This girl is USING avoidant attachment style to justify her shitty behavior and her personality disorder. I don’t think she’s avoidant.

@di3486 11 ай бұрын

@@thecommonsensecapricornThe pattern of that woman is 100% narcissistic.

@danielborrowdale3903 10 ай бұрын

If you respect yourself you discipline someone for treating you wrong, you don't give them love and think that will fix them. I say you can be that abusive person it'll just be without me.

@theresaconley5930 11 ай бұрын

Thank you Anna. This had alot of helpful information and advice all rolled up into one video. 🙏 for all those going through these difficult situations and that healing comes quickly.

@333mystic 2 ай бұрын

Here's one I heard recently. 'My love language is physical touch' which obviously explained their cheating and then third party abusive relationship

@NikkiEdmunds 8 сағат бұрын

There are plenty who can’t be helped. They must want the help. They must be aware that they have a problem and need help. In your situation, I strongly suggest that you leave this guy alone and get healing for yourself. There’s hope for you but you must believe that there is. Put yourself first. Love yourself enough to see that this man is bad for you. There’s someone out there who will love you authentically. All the best to you.

@drvpscott 11 ай бұрын

For years now I have been hearing about codependency and trauma bonding on parallel tracks. They existed side by side but I never made the connection. I didn't understand or identify with the idea of codependency. I thought it might be because the definition of codependency was so vague and inconsistent. In a way I suppose that is correct but making the connection with trauma bonds and alcoholism it now makes sense to me. It was all right in front of my face but I just didn't put the pieces together. Now other pieces are fitting in and the puzzle picture is beginning to take shape. Thank you Anna!

@andziagreen4922 3 ай бұрын

Yes it is addiction-love addiction/limerence/trauma bond, what ever it's called, with someone who is not safe for us emotionally and triggering us to remind us experiences from our past. Real roller-coaster. I'm already in recovery.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 3 ай бұрын

Glad you are here. Good luck on your healing journey! Nika@TeamFairy

@thecommonsensecapricorn 11 ай бұрын

The thing about all these stories is the person writing is actually in love with the person. I’ve never been in love, but I’ve been in 2 long term relationships and plenty of situation-ships. I guess because I’m more avoidant, I don’t get into relationships with people who play me, it never goes that far. If they aren’t putting in effort, I just let them go (even if that means being limerent about them for years). At least with limerence and being with anxious attached people, I never get broken up with. I think I would fall apart if I was in love and got broken up with. That’s why I make such an effort to have the upper hand in my relationships and never take a chance on someone I actually like.

@SacramentalSims 11 ай бұрын

It's like reading my own thoughts. I'm the same way!

@irinaivanovic9792 10 ай бұрын

That's the smartest thing you can do as a woman - TO not fall in love and then be broken up with, to make such an effort to have the upper hand in relationships and never take a chance on someone you actually like. - I learned this the hard way. But I have to say, being in love 3 times with the men who came in (and out) of my life were some of the absolute greatest years of my whole life. On the other hand, when they fell out of love years later, and left me, I experienced some of the most painful, heart wrenching years of my life as well. It's like the saying, What goes up, must come down. It's unfair, really. I don't know if I will ever desire another relationship after my last, which put me through more than I can stand, and people don't believe me when I tell them how it began, went, and finally ended. It's been tragic and sorrowful, and no one can relate to what I've been going through. I will say though, if you can continue to be smart enough and NEVER fall in love with someone you really like, that's the best way to protect your heart from anxiety, mental anguish, heart palpitations, crying for nights, weeks, months, years... It's probably not worth it. As a woman, especially.

@rhythmandblues_alibi 7 ай бұрын

That's really sad, I think. Going into a relationship thinking more about power than connecting with the other person, it cuts you off from ever feeling real love. I feel sad that you would feel the need to play power games with people in order to protect yourself. You can't go through life without getting hurt, its not possible, it's part of being human! I really hope you can grow so you can one day experience real human connection and love.

@if7363 8 ай бұрын

6:11 all about her. There is so much information to use I statements in such situations. To focus on self also so you do not seem commanding, judging, controlling.

@marialange9509 11 ай бұрын

I love a guy..we both got trauma from the past..he was emotionally abused by his ex he told he..but I also already felt it in his reactions I don`t know what happened to him,and I won`t force him to tell but he is extremely sensitive at times,and shuts down...sometimes he thinks I may be angry when I am not I rarely am,and if I was I would tell him..just wan`t the best for him even if he is not ready for a relationship with me...

@MaryBethPetra 11 ай бұрын

It seems like we’ve been over a similar situation like this before…?

@Water_is_Sacred777 11 ай бұрын

Even is it is a repeat it's such an important message that many need to hear. Anna's case studies are especially helpful because of the details and her analysis. She just has a way of describing a trauma bond so it's easy to understand. Her content saved my emotional health.

@thecommonsensecapricorn 11 ай бұрын

Why do you care?

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 11 ай бұрын

Correct, this is a mash-up of videos with a related theme. -The Fairy Team

@pauladuncanadams1750 11 ай бұрын

It gets hard to keep making videos because people don't look at your old material but keep asking the same questions over and over and over and over again. Why let people suck out all of your time and energy, suck the life out of you, because they haven't researched your library? And reruns give you a break if you need it. I don't have a problem with that.

@rhythmandblues_alibi 7 ай бұрын

Brilliant compilation video grouping issues of a similar theme. So many things rang true for me.

@jullietmburu9672 10 ай бұрын

1:41:35 this happened to me to a tee!! I was crushed at a rime i had absolutely no one, and i didn't get along well with the few people in my life. I've never felt so crushed. It's a feeling like no other. Thats why whenever i find myself hiding a friend/relationship/business from my nearest and dearest, i jettison out of there as if the devil is upon me!!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 10 ай бұрын

I hear you. I’m glad you’re here! Nika@TeamFairy

@razenkane1843 5 ай бұрын

It seems most of your stories are so much me what I've gone through it's like I could cut sections of everyones story to create mine. I left my addicted soon to be ex hubby on/off of 26 years last Aug. This week I'm serving divorce paperwork I am so thankful for you to help me work through the garbage I've been through, put up with, and made it through. I hope people really listen to your wonderful insight one of your story's you said she was 25 I'm 50 so please listen don't waste time on toxic abusive not going anywhere relationships we don't get our time back. Don't look back and wished you would have done this different. I'm working on forgiving myself for being such a fool and trying so hard.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 5 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing this :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@limb650 11 ай бұрын

Can trauma bond happen in friendships, too? Is there a video about this so far? Appreciate it if someone can share the link. Thank you!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 11 ай бұрын

Seems entirely possible. No video that I know of about trauma bonding in friendships, but basic concepts would translate. Daily Practice is a great way to start sorting out these confusing situations. Free Daily Practice Course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Julie@TeamFairy

@oops-iam708 11 ай бұрын

Army brats

@if7363 8 ай бұрын

Enmeshment is not having boundaries, overcrossing them

@Caroline-rt7qx 4 ай бұрын

Wow. The guy who wrote”Martin” about the horrible treatment of a woman he was seeing. I am glad he finally ended it. He deserves better. Martin if you see this, you have options. Stick to what you are looking for. Get out there. There a lot of good single woman looking for what you’re looking for. Don’t settle for mistreatment again. Also don’t introduce any woman you haven’t established a long term relationship with to your kids. Remember the woman you choose has to mesh with your kids too. Best of luck

@Rwhisper-sy9qu 11 ай бұрын

So accurate!

@Humgin1234 9 ай бұрын

Please pray for me. My name is Tracy . Thank you . Devastated and feeling rejected and abandoned. In therapy now . I’ll survive.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 9 ай бұрын

We're all sending you support and encouragement, Tracy :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@fgbowen 11 ай бұрын

1:49:03 - such good words. Thank you.

@Dulcimerea 10 ай бұрын

Anna, First of all, thank you for your many excellent videos. They have been enlightening for me, and though the subjects are about people's troubles, your commentary is consistently enjoyable to watch and to hear, and better than any therapist I've ever talked to. Next, about the letter writer's mother who, during financial difficulties, brought multiple men home... well, to me that is a prostitution situation very likely; women seem to think it's fine nowadays to sell their bodies for money or money for dope or for dope straight from a dealer. Finally, I may write a letter soon to you about some of my experiences. I'm 73 and in love with a homeless drug addicted woman. She sought me out. It's not a scheme. I'm just one of the few men she could begin to trust. I didn't plan it! I swear. But it fits in with a lot of the things you have said about being attracted to impossible or unavailable people. I know I can't save her, yet I can't help trying. Gib Sosman

@marendesaulniers 11 ай бұрын

Is there a connection between trauma-bonding and Stockholm Syndrome?

@womenofgodunited 4 ай бұрын

I believe they are the same

@if7363 8 ай бұрын

16:48 it's also while someone is still healing and is not sure if they want relationship or no, fickle. Or are not sure about the person.

@angelicsweet444 11 ай бұрын

do you have any videos on how to stop thinking ab what others think ab you? i can hardly do any task without my mind obsessively doing this, it's exhausting and ive been this way my whole life :(

@storycharms 9 ай бұрын

If you haven't tried the free Daily Practice, it sounds like something you would definitely find benefit from. The link is in the video description, there's a series of short videos to watch that teach you the technique, which is super easy and simple but very powerful. It can really help you regain control over your wayward thoughts and free yourself.

@user-kk2gn3ux7w 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for making these videos

@cacussacacussa6028 11 ай бұрын

I think i have cptsd, im seeing à therapist and she said that i suffer from rejection, wich is true. And this woond made me ruin my relationship with my hasband, i met him at à verry young age and i was too attached to him and expeted a lot from him, i used to scream and get emotional all thé time, i was craving love and attention and that only pushed him away wich made me persuie him to get my needs met. Now that im older, i feel ashamed of my behavior, if only i knew better . Excuse my english its not my first language

@crimsonkim9225 11 ай бұрын

Hugs to you, dear one. Please forgive yourself. Acknowledging past behavior, working to understand yourself and changing patterns can be a tough, but hopeful process. You are precious and worthy of love!

@oops-iam708 11 ай бұрын

This is very relatable - my whole twenties was me learning the hard painful way. I hope you are healing. ❤❤

@erikalarsson 11 ай бұрын

Thank you to know .i get back for love when a get abonneded over and over again .i know in my heart.hope they care and then punishment to myself trigger my shame .then for lonlyness i go back .feel my power is taking .feel every time i start my healing they call .feel more abonned after . Now i know iam truamabounding . Thank you for know what it is happening.

@user-hj6oo2xh5i 5 ай бұрын

My sergeant told me one day that people can be addicted to anything. Life is about balance❤❤❤

@earthlyng_official4599 10 ай бұрын

Came here to find advice. Leaving feeling hopeless and more fucked up than I woke up this morning.

@oktovria 10 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for this, thank you.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 10 ай бұрын

Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@beatrizmendoza8366 10 ай бұрын

I know I’m in an abusive relationship. He has abandoned me when our son was two months old. My father abandoned me. I gave him another chance after 4 years later. He cheated again. And now I feel like I’m a trauma bonded relationship and as bad as it sounds I feel like I’ll never be loved the way he loves me.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 10 ай бұрын

That sounds hard. If you're interested, try Anna's "Dating & Relationships For People With Childhood PTSD" course bit.ly/3IBbrv7 Nika@TeamFairy

@thelionandhtelamp78 10 ай бұрын

What about the people that mange stressful times with isolation? I’m in a relationship and my boyfriend use to do this even before we were anything. We are in a long distance relationship, but we see each other every 2 weeks, but when he gets stressed at work he isolate himself, and it’s very difficult for me in those times, we have talked about it, and he has changed a lot, but I can’t help having thoughts about he manipulating me or playing with me.

@michaelstevens864 10 ай бұрын

Hopefully three months is easier to get over than 3 years

@Grammamellow1 2 ай бұрын

Family court and CPS enable it in their cognitive dissonance and routine of checking boxes. If it looks good on paper the system disregards the threat to mental health and ability to achieve a quality and thriving life in the future. Our children are being destroyed.

@ebonyessence8 5 ай бұрын

I have a feeling she wasn't ready for a single father and she didn't want to sound selfish. She was probably battling with that.

@9TOA16 11 ай бұрын

BPD

@truemessage77 11 ай бұрын

I am wondering if you have a letter from an abuser who acknowledges his/her mental issue?

@nicoschmitt9857 Күн бұрын

"whoa, this is linear thinking" - yeah honey, it's how non NPD people think.

@susantravis2925 10 ай бұрын

Anna: I like your content very much. I want you to listen to more of them but many are 1.5, 2 hours long of longer. I know you spend a lot of time on preparation. I would kindly ask to consider shorter videos if possible. Thank you very much.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy 10 ай бұрын

Every week, we post a lengthy compilation of older videos on a theme. They're very popular. It's one way we can help new subscribers find some of the gems in Anna's KZfaq archives. Compilations are identified as such in the description section. There are many shorter videos of 30 minutes or less if you look on the channel homepage: www.youtube.com/@CrappyChildhoodFairy -The Fairy Team

@88FairyQueen88 9 ай бұрын

This helps me: 1) Anna has transcripts enabled 2) you can speed it up to even x2 while listening Hope this helps!

@Geej9519 11 ай бұрын

How do you breakaway from such when they are family permanent relations who do this ???

@user-db5oo8ee6s 10 ай бұрын

No relationship is permanent , genetics are

@marilenaganea6578 9 ай бұрын

Full no contact. I have been there. I'm in no contact with my ex-mother for the last 2 decades. My life got exponentially better

@laurakosch 6 ай бұрын

Can this happen in a friendship? Is there such a thing as a non romantic trauma bond? The same obsession?

@jkidron 2 ай бұрын

Definitely

@laurakosch 2 ай бұрын

@@jkidron l experienced this weird all consuming dynamic. Terrifying.

@oliverdickens4641 10 ай бұрын

The women was 100% hooking up with someone else at the festival and each time she took down the photo on Facebook. He is well rid of her.

@risingempressproductions 11 ай бұрын

Honestly, this guy sounds like a catch and SHE sounds like she’s the diet version of a narcissist. Narc-lite, if you will. It’s so odd how we cannot recognize our own value. Some of it seems to come from our own hopeful naïveté and trying to give the benefit of the doubt. Toxic empathy.

@rickbuell8996 11 ай бұрын

Dang. I'm 68 and don't have kids, but if I did, that skank would have been history before the curtain even started to rise on that drama. If I'm considering dating, and the other guy has kids who aren't his #1 top priority, he's outta there. It's not the fact I'm ancient and gay, and I'm as wracked by PTSD as anyone reading this, or maybe that is why, I have zero tolerance for this being played out. It's saved my life a couple of times.

@lorraineamico42 11 ай бұрын

Hi been drs to drs been out of the loop still fighting for my life miss all your videos ❤your the best thanks again you amaze me Anna just can’t better no one knows 15 drslater still trying someone has to come through like this video haven’t had a relationship in 20 years straight and definitely no limerents I learned from you one step ahead because of you @lorraineamicothemakeupartist