When I moved to Germany in 1998 I discovered that a lot of cyclists were taking package trips to Mallorca so I decided to try it. I went for a week in 1999 and hated it so much I went for two weeks in 2000. Here in Canada it was -8C when I got up this morning so I hate Mallorca even more now, if that is possible. A sixth reason to hate the place is that the progressive administration of the island makes a big effort to attract cyclists with excellent infrastructure and even has (since my visits) dedicated "bike highways." No thanks--give me the cold, the potholes, and the hostile and/or distracted drivers here! I do appreciate the excellent video showing just how much suffering you both endured for us!

Thanks! You guys really saved me a ton of money and hassle!My favourite thing to do is to set up my turbo trainer in my garage doing structured workouts for 3 hours, staring at my power, so as to stay right on the workout, not even a watt over. And there are so many different flavour gels I can go through ( but i stick to espresso simulated flavour). After that I love to gulp down a huge soy protein shake and 10 bananas. Followed by the Durian rider white rice and sugar special for dinner. Then I’ll take a nap in my man cave and watch KZfaq, upload to training peaks, then Strava and finally order more kit online. And you guys? Got lost for 6 hours and only did 140 km? I’ll bet your average power is well below 3.6 /kg, with all those stops for snacks and pictures. Not wasting money on this trip, I’m gonna shave more off my bike with brand new carbon bottle cage and an oversized pulley for my Di2 DA 12 speed.

More Krysten please. She is the best and I will definitely check out Portage.

Good work Tristan. I have a friend that lives there and she has been trying to get me to go riding there for a few years. So I definitely won't be going now 😎

Best troll job ever. I'd absolutely hate it there when I can stay in the flat prairies in Canada where it's -8 (-16 with windchill on April 11).

Mallorca cyclings paradise. My favorite place in the world 😍🤩👌

"...That's some disgusting scenery..." Oh man, I totally agree... that was so bad I gotta see that for myself!! 😄

Crossed off my bucket list. Thanks for the heads up.

Ugh yeah what’s with all the switchbacks anyways never could stand them just give me a good straight road up the hill will ya

Australian here... I was based in Mallorca on and off for 4 years. Biggest regret is that I didn't hire a proper road bike and cycle the road down to Sa Colobra and back from Palma. One day I'll have a shot at the Mallorca312.

Me being a masochist torture myself twice a year with a week cycling on Mallorca, so I exactly know what you mean. So when that lovely Dutch autumn strikes again, I again will be riding my bike on Mallorca in that horrible sunshine.

The most genius clickbait I think I have ever witnessed and not even in a bad way. Best title I have ever seen

Brilliant. Definitely an island to not want to not cycle. It's almost as avoidable as Girona.

Thank you for this fantastic video showcasing the beauty of Mallorca! 😊 If anyone wants to explore the island by bike, feel free to rent some amazing road bikes from Can Velo Mallorca. 🚴‍♂ We’d be thrilled to help make your visit even more memorable. 🌟

hey Tristan! A very convenient way to get to Mallorca from Barcelona are the Balearia ferries. Around 50EUR for a round trip, bike + luggage included :)

Great film which reminded me of the horrible cycling holiday we had there at Easter 😂🤣😂 I hated it so much that I want to retire there!

Thanks, Tristan! It’s so lovely to see very familiar spots where I’ve been to and ridden a bike just a couple of weeks ago ❤️ Yeah, I agree with you, folks, never come to Mallorca 😉

I definetly won't be going back for a 3rd time this October, as I didn't enjoy it twice last year 😂

Had a great week there in 2019! 25K of climbing! Great video as always, Love it!

I hate cycling in Mallorca too and agree with your 5 points. But I think you could have gone further and added a few more. For example if you like really congested roads populated with drivers who don't give you any space then Mallorca's not for you. Or if you like real hassle hiring a high end road bike, then avoid Mallorca because there are so many hire shops!

Thanks for the video, I very much enjoyed taking in all that obscenery. Pretty impressed that you two managed to ride 140km with your tongues lodged firmly in your cheeks! Do feel free to share more disgusting vistas from the horrible places you may visit in the future.

Nice video, thanks Tristan. Would you share the place where you stayed, or can you recommend a hotel or a resort?

If you had to choose a week in Mallorca or a week in Girona which would it be?

Took my bike via Ferry to Mallorca the last two summer's (I live in Barcelona and do triathlon) and found were I was staying I did a few routes near the south west of the island close to Palma. This year heading to Menorca and that should be a good contrast. Beautiful to swim in the water though esp early morning.

Colorado is my home state. It’s so cool to see someone from there in the video. Another great one Tristan

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!! I will be there this September with a few clients

the irony in this video is hilarious! great work^^

Very funny, I won't be going back again :)

What a clickbait! Still loved the vid tristan. It's a shame that we missed you by a few weeks.

Magnifique très beau paysage vous avez de la chance de pouvoir rouler autour de paysage comme sa merci 👍👍👍👏👏👏👏🚴🏻‍♂️🚴🏻‍♂️🚴🏻‍♂️🚴🏻‍♂️🇫🇷🇫🇷🇫🇷🇫🇷

Super mate!

I'll admit, you got me at first. ;)

you gonna check out Colorado to do another 5 reasons not to cycle Tristan?

Good to see you've still got Aussie irony in ya.

Dam! I’m heading out at the start of may! Will definitely be cancelling my holiday now!

This video made me giggle. I’m going to Mallorca….

Looks bloody awful, thanks for sharing

Just got back from there - hated those beautiful safe bike friendly roads :)

Super nice video man ! Thanks for coming to Mallorca, cyclists welcome 🙏. Btw in two days 8.000 of them will take part in the Mallorca 312, spectacular!

Love that island, great film✈️👍

Looks fun.😁

Ah, had I seen this earlier… I did the same mistake and stayed there two weeks even, oh the nightmare. Riding all day long, it was awesome, I mean awful 🤗

Just back from Mallorca, what an amazing place to ride. Just wish I was fitter 😄

Just booked my flights to Mallorca 🎉🎉

Sorry but you have not convinced me to stay away. It's still on my bucket list in spite of your almost convincing arguments to not go.

fantastic. so many reasons "not" to go to mallorca. i think ill risk it. thanks for the video

Definitely not going next week!🤣🤣

Couldn’t agree more! Got back from the dreaded island 2 weeks ago and still haven’t fully gotten over just how rubbish the week was. So rubbish in fact that I haven’t already started planning a 2 week “nightmare” for 2023 😬. I mean really, why would anyone who enjoys riding bikes want to ever go there?!?! On a side note, do you have any plans to get back to the Dolomites this September with the Rad Race guys? Mind you, that’s somewhere else where you could find at least another 5 reasons NOT to cycle... 🤪

Haha, great content. I miss Krysten too :) But the big question is: When are you going to Boulder?

Well Damn! I guess I will have to cancel my plans for July. I'm throwing my bike away too!

Mallorca❤️

Thanks Tristan and Kyrsten.

Thanks for making us aware of those 5 compelling reasons no sane cyclist would want to ride in a place like that. :)

So basically we want to visit… 😂😂

Bonito video me emociona como mallorquín como gusta mi isla a tanta gente. Es un orgullo grande la suerte de vivir siempre aqui. Se me ocurren muchos motivos mas para otros videos: los senderos fuera carretera para mtb tambien muy variados y divertidos. Seais siempre bienvenidos a disfrutar de la bicicleta. Saludos.

wow it looks like it is even crappier than Tarragona :) thanks for the heads up!

I really, I mean seriously hate all those things you listed, so based on your advise I will avoid Mallorca this spring. Btw: German living in Austria here but I was based out of the Boulder (Estes Park) area for 15 years. Miss the big nature.

Just spent 4 days in port de soller, great place. Hired a bike for a day, rode up & around Tramuntana mountain region. Fabulous and spent rest of the time holidaying in the port and at soller lovely place, lovely vibe. Check out Tramuntana Tours.

Seems that you guys have been my neighbours at the paseo 😃 Nice Shots, even with this awful weather! Recognized a lot of turns.

Sounds terrible! Can’t wait to go 🤪

This comment is devoid of irony. I actually don’t like Mallorca. It’s too busy, too many hire cars, too many coaches. It’s a series of package resorts with a bit of cycling. Girona, however, now that’s paradise.

Dude…. Dude… I need to go there right now!

This makes me miss Mallorca

I'm glad hairpin bends did not get mentioned!!

Wow, another great video.

Just booked 2 weeks in Girona for July, should I be changing my flights? 😂

This video reminded me of how much I can’t stand the switchbacks and views on Chapman. I might go for a Chap Lap during lunch today because I dislike it so much.

Bucket List 🤙🇦🇺

Tristian, i love your videos - the title of this video is funny and i laughed during the video very often when you brought up the reason why you should not come to Malle. And most of all it's Krysten - she seams to be a very lovely person. If you are a couple you are very lucky. Having Krysten in future videos whould be very appreciated :) Kind regards from Austria. Hannes

Love the content, what bike bag do you use to transport your bike and recommendations for traveling with your bike.

Your reverse psychology is not gonna work on me! 😂😂

Hello my friend..just literally come across your channel. I offer cycle tours in Portugal..be great to have you over to do a review. Portugal (Algarve) is really undiscovered and I'd love for more people to discover it as Spain is always the go to. Anyway great content. Definitely going to be watching from now on.

Bro, i wish u would come a weak earlier i would be happy to meet u there. Was planing to get some KOM done but weather was just too much 🙃🙃

I see these descends and switchbacks, and wonder how the rim brakes perform in these settings. I haven't owned a race bike with rim brakes - so I have no reference point. Just can't imagine not having disk brakes

És un vídeo molt simpàtic. Vull aprofitar per recordar a tothom que a Mallorca també hi ha mallorquins, i per això vull demanar bon criteri i comprensió a tots els visitants. Us ho dic en la llengua pròpia de Mallorca perquè en sigueu més conscients (per molts motius -alguns molt indecents-, la majoria de mallorquins ha après a amagar l'idioma, cosa que fa que desaparegui). No vull criticar la gent que ve a fer ciclisme. Molts de mallorquins també som ciclistes a més d'usuaris de transport públic, conductors de cotxe i vianants. Tots plegats hem de tenir seny per compaginar l'esport, l'oci, la feina, el dia a dia... perquè així tot sigui sostenible. En aquest sentit, com a persona que s'ha de moure per feina per carreteres d'aquest tipus, s'agraeix molt que es procurin evitar les hores de trànsit (7.00-8.00 per exemple, que és una hora punta d'anar a treballar, i si s'ajunten ciclistes i camions/busos a carreteres estretes amb molts de revolts simplement et fan arribar tard o t'has d'aixecar mitja hora abans per si passa), especialment per part de grups de ciclistes. Salutacions, espero que pugueu tornar a "sofrir" Mallorca aviat amb nosaltres 😄😉

Krysten's bike is stunning. Any details on the spec?

Lovely vid... great couple.... beautiful place. Curious in a day's ride, depending where, can we just have roads without hitting gravel?

Im visiting Spain soon can’t decide if I want to stay longer in Girona or Mallorca …

massive problem switchbacks: oh dear, u have a lot problems

Don't worry, when you learn to pedal you will love Mallorca. Keep trying...

Do you like the Sweet Protection Outrider helmet? Does it do okay in hot weather?

She’s a keeper, I sense good vibes. 👍👍

Well, you are closer to the UK than the US, hence some sarcasm?

❤

Colorado has been on my bucket list for far too long....I mean i would go to Majorca if there was no other choice but there's probably fewer mamils in Colorado 😉✌️

and about switchbags. Thats wrong, they are play of climbs with hardly any switchbags... Puig Major, Femenia, mirador del colomer and and and :)

Thanks for the heads up, going to take a cycling holiday to f__king Edenhope instead.

what is the meaning : switch back ?

Thanks for the advice, really sounds like an awful place to cycle 😉

Beautiful, great video. Yeah, definitely won't be subscribing, wouldn't want watch any more of those😉

Can someone PLEASE give krysten an aero wind jacket the watts lost on that bulky thing make me sick to the stomach

Been 5 times on Mallorca for the last few years now and it was super every time. So dont know what this is all about ... it's a mega nice place to ride your bike. If you go mid spring it's normal that it is shit because of all the peps, but if you go mid/end winter its perfect :)

Hated it so much that i just stayed here. And become cyclist myself..

Thank you two from Mallorca(Llubí). So fast you ride this curves, really you pay the coffe?its like if you escaping from someone.💩💨

So everyone also pls don´t come to Bavaria. U´ll hate that too! For all the reasons in the Video and more ^^

steep bend at 2:50 I also tasted the tarmac there :)

I delete Mallorca from my list cycling haven ;-)

How are switchbacks fun? Kills all the speed and flow in my opinion 😁

Hi Tristan, any tips on the flight from Barcelona to Mallorca? How much it cost to put the bike into the plan?

Ha, thanks so much for posting this video. It wasn’t until number two that I realised the tongue is firmly in your cheeks. I was thinking yeah maybe some people don’t like switchbacks. Can’t wait to get back cycling in Majorca.