Trump Jury Selection Woes | Presidential Hot Dog Eating Contest | Drunk Vultures Rescued

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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

27 күн бұрын

The judge in Trump’s hush money trial is finding it hard to keep personal information about jurors from leaking out, a new poll shows President Biden trailing his rival by double digits in a hot dog eating contest, and workers at a Connecticut bird sanctuary rescued two vultures who got intoxicated after dumpster diving.
#Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.

Пікірлер: 2 700
@jkap34
@jkap34 25 күн бұрын
I always enjoy that he puts his imaginary props away. Leaves less for the crew to clean up.
@ramonaholmes617
@ramonaholmes617 25 күн бұрын
Yes, a thoughtful and funny boss
@victoriabaker4400
@victoriabaker4400 25 күн бұрын
They once did a little web short on where the imaginary props are stored backstage. Would love to see it again.
@alexpadi6464
@alexpadi6464 24 күн бұрын
I miss Jon Baptiste's little piano accentuations when Stephen puts away the imaginary props
@electricsheep1277
@electricsheep1277 23 күн бұрын
We all know where they go, but the biggest question is: Where do they come from?
@trinidadinternational
@trinidadinternational 22 күн бұрын
It's subtle and hilarious
@garygoodrich7495
@garygoodrich7495 25 күн бұрын
These jurors' identities need to be protected at all costs. Even letting out descriptions of their interests and looks should not be allowed.
@MrGeldhart
@MrGeldhart 24 күн бұрын
Juror #1 -> A person Juror #2 -> A person Thats all the public needs to know
@Drew63
@Drew63 24 күн бұрын
Yeah these people are helping Trump big time honestly
@kingace6186
@kingace6186 24 күн бұрын
I expected that type of behavior from NY Post, or Fox News. But NYT is choosing profit over the safety of those jurors.
@bcb7443
@bcb7443 24 күн бұрын
Protect the jurors and witnesses!!
@MatthewPettyST1300
@MatthewPettyST1300 24 күн бұрын
That Lindsey Graham burn was one of the best I've heard about him. I liked the fact his name came at the end so it caught me off guard !
@carolwarren2020
@carolwarren2020 25 күн бұрын
He should be on trial for treason!!!! The whole country is in jeopardy because of him! So freaking sick of him receiving special treatment
@silentmajority8365
@silentmajority8365 25 күн бұрын
Read the definition of treason DUH
@Kevmaster2000
@Kevmaster2000 25 күн бұрын
@@silentmajority8365”The crime of betraying one’s country, especially by attempting to kill the sovereign or overthrow the government.”
@nagranoth_
@nagranoth_ 25 күн бұрын
this is just one of many trials...
@JC-tp5lz
@JC-tp5lz 25 күн бұрын
​@@silentmajority8365 Read the definitions of "critical thinking and deductive reasoning". 🤨
@annnee6818
@annnee6818 25 күн бұрын
​@@silentmajority8365 looks like YOU need to read it
@tdsoldier3198
@tdsoldier3198 25 күн бұрын
Being a juror in this case would be cool but it would also be pretty scary too. I hope all the jurors are kept safe and protected and I hope anyone who tries to intimidate them is arrested.
@RevLeigh55
@RevLeigh55 25 күн бұрын
I would not be intimidated by trump if I were on the jury. However, I would never be chosen, because I could not be impartial.
@Pixie449
@Pixie449 25 күн бұрын
I wouldn’t be afraid of Trump but some of his supporters are not all mentally stable.
@wonderrob3225
@wonderrob3225 25 күн бұрын
I'm still worried about the fact that this is a Jury trial. What do you think the chances are that he has already paid-off and threatened the jury members. What are the chances that not even one of these jurors is fox "news" fan.
@8arrows
@8arrows 25 күн бұрын
I wouldn’t want to sit on the jury. As a Pawnee. I don’t trust any politician. We have 532 worth of historical proof. I know a lot of natives that have no idea who Trummkopf is. Because they’re not on the grid. There are also homesteaders, “mountain men”. Hermits, etc. Who have no idea what the media said about Trummkopf. Untainted juror prospects.
@ag4allgood
@ag4allgood 25 күн бұрын
@@Pixie449 What do you mean ONLY some ? Mentally unstable is a cult qualification !
@sparkythancztwise
@sparkythancztwise 23 күн бұрын
Correction Stephen: 9:27 - 9:36 The driver is a turkey. I'm no ornithologist, but I'm not a bird-brain either. It's pretty obvious. Take a gander again. And I'm not suggesting you steal geese.
@jacenty1339
@jacenty1339 25 күн бұрын
3:16 This is comedic gold, thank you, Stephen. Greetings from Poland 🇵🇱
@samuela-aegisdottir
@samuela-aegisdottir 23 күн бұрын
I am so relieved that Poland has a better government now, but it seems very difficult for the Tusk's government to fix the democratic backsliding that the previous PiS government commited. And not only because Duda, the current president, is from PiS. Some changes are very difficult to reverse. One more reason to hope that Trump will loose the election, because the damage PiS made, it made only to Poland (and to a lesser extend to EU). Whereas the damage Trump made and can made in the future is damage not only to US, but to the entire world. And not everything is posible to reverse, for example the cancelation of the Iran deal is disasterous to this day.
@toddmoll4801
@toddmoll4801 25 күн бұрын
You, Mr. Colbert, are a much needed breath of truth. Thank you for your continuing service.
@tpad6
@tpad6 25 күн бұрын
He's been doing great this year!
@wonderrob3225
@wonderrob3225 25 күн бұрын
I'm still worried about the fact that this is a Jury trial. What do you think the chances are that he has already paid-off and threatened the jury members. What are the chances that not even one of these jurors is fox "news" fan.
@notthisbutthat
@notthisbutthat 25 күн бұрын
He lied though it was not a vulture driving, it is a turkey!!!
@namastezen3300
@namastezen3300 25 күн бұрын
Stephen is great (but don't leave out the writers; they are great)
@marcokoonings2179
@marcokoonings2179 25 күн бұрын
He always was also at Epstein’s island
@aggressiveattitudeera887
@aggressiveattitudeera887 25 күн бұрын
That Lindsey Graham joke was savage!
@israelcm7246
@israelcm7246 25 күн бұрын
Savage, yes, but Lindsey had it coming.
@teamvlcn6820
@teamvlcn6820 25 күн бұрын
And accurate.
@janicebunch7599
@janicebunch7599 25 күн бұрын
Ms Lindsey would sit ,stay, and shake on that one!
@user-yy4jo9pk2b
@user-yy4jo9pk2b 25 күн бұрын
So is Lindsay Graham ( MAGA savage ).😝
@bunyipdragon9499
@bunyipdragon9499 25 күн бұрын
Lynsey will definitely roll over 😂
@id10t98
@id10t98 24 күн бұрын
I had a plum tree that squirrels would get drunk eating every late fall season. Great shows watching them.
@natsune09
@natsune09 24 күн бұрын
It would be really funny if Stephen Colbert was summoned for jury duty for the Trump trial. Talk about Awwwwwkward moment in the court when Colbert walks in. Or the funniness of the judge asking him if he can be impartial. "No I can't your honor. But this would give me years worth of material for my show. For the sake of the laughs, let me sit as a juror!"
@cat-.-
@cat-.- 24 күн бұрын
He would be immediately impeached by the defense lawyers.
@susanbengston3208
@susanbengston3208 22 күн бұрын
@@cat-.-😂
@kingace6186
@kingace6186 21 күн бұрын
I think he could stay impartial. Ironically, enough.
@jmac5937
@jmac5937 18 күн бұрын
Yeah, nobody cares about this trial but far left wingers...and the deep state that's terrified of Trump's second term.
@davidcoombes-pearce4533
@davidcoombes-pearce4533 25 күн бұрын
As an Australian. Please, NY judicial system save the world from Trump. This man is so stupid and so so so dangerous. See, I can repeat a word 3 time's too.
@krysmorrison3896
@krysmorrison3896 25 күн бұрын
As a fellow Australian, I’m horrified America is imploding
@wholefoodplantbasedmama5398
@wholefoodplantbasedmama5398 25 күн бұрын
Aussie here, i am terrified as well.
@MrMisuma
@MrMisuma 25 күн бұрын
Dane here. And I share your view.
@silentmajority8365
@silentmajority8365 25 күн бұрын
@@krysmorrison3896 Worry about your tiny drunken population
@silentmajority8365
@silentmajority8365 25 күн бұрын
@@wholefoodplantbasedmama5398 Terrified of what? What did he do in his former term that made you cry? None of the current wars were going on during Trump
@ronnyshama
@ronnyshama 25 күн бұрын
The doo-da jokes were absolutely hilarious! Thank you sir for the good laugh
@jtysar
@jtysar 25 күн бұрын
Duda went to the States with bipartisan support in Poland to lobby for Ukraine aid and to maintain good relations with a person who will potentially soon hold our country's fate in his hands in the face of war. Thanks for reducing it to absurdity and being condescending and irreverent about it, as Americans always were towards Poland. Some allies you are.
@cindersuzie
@cindersuzie 24 күн бұрын
If you want to see giant pumpkins being rowed, just come to Oregon in October. We have had the West Coast Giant Pumpkin Regatta here for more than 20 years.
@AnthonyOMulligan-yv9cg
@AnthonyOMulligan-yv9cg 24 күн бұрын
That sounds far too exciting for me
@emilyviehland3544
@emilyviehland3544 24 күн бұрын
Oregon isn't in my plans for this year, but maybe some other time! How hard is it to become a participant? When Pittsburgh had these races, there was a lottery to get in.
@leifharmsen
@leifharmsen 24 күн бұрын
Shame on the NYT for reporting ANYTHING about the jurours in this case!
@kingayy9267
@kingayy9267 24 күн бұрын
Agreed. Why must we know anything about them? They didn't volunteer to have their lives/identities exposed in any way by performing their civic duty.
@AC3handle
@AC3handle 24 күн бұрын
There were a BUNCH of media outlets who let details out.
@igorschmidlapp6987
@igorschmidlapp6987 22 күн бұрын
@@AC3handle That's because it's "media" now, not responsible journalism...
@mehere8038
@mehere8038 22 күн бұрын
I agree! Interests like that should absolutely be off limits! Now those are reported, people in those circles will have it on their mind & if movements of someone in one of their clubs changes, the more extreme are likely to think they're on the jury & follow them on a weekday morning to confirm it! Actually very easy for someone who knows them to some extent to identify from that info! & the hobbies listed are ones mostly done by right leaning people. Really, really dumb info to release!
@kingace6186
@kingace6186 21 күн бұрын
100% It was very sleazy. I doubt they'll stop. They love making money too much.
@wisconsinfarmer4742
@wisconsinfarmer4742 25 күн бұрын
Jury needs protection as in any crime family prosecution.
@chenzen1578
@chenzen1578 25 күн бұрын
please write "mob" when you mean it!
@kingace6186
@kingace6186 21 күн бұрын
Yes
@kingace6186
@kingace6186 21 күн бұрын
@@chenzen1578 ?
@wisconsinfarmer4742
@wisconsinfarmer4742 21 күн бұрын
@@kingace6186 chenzen is right. He is always right. He hires the best people.
@martusialuba
@martusialuba 25 күн бұрын
Colbert, we have to rely on you to give us the truth about this disaster. Thank you!!!! You’re doing a service to this country like no other!!!
@TheUberjammer
@TheUberjammer 25 күн бұрын
Aw, come on - I'm sure the man made it out of his pumpkin and back to shore eventually.
@roni6215
@roni6215 25 күн бұрын
And if maga takes over the presidency , I'm afraid he will fall off a tall building.
@leviashanken2506
@leviashanken2506 24 күн бұрын
Lol! ​@@TheUberjammer
@ajsanime
@ajsanime 24 күн бұрын
LMBO! "There's a vulture driving it too" with a pic of what is clearly a turkey! Come on, gotta call him out on that one.
@marmac7619
@marmac7619 24 күн бұрын
How would my sanity ever survive all this in-sanity, sans Stephen Colbert?!!?
@jmac5937
@jmac5937 18 күн бұрын
You don't realize that it's Colbert and his ilk making you crazy in the first place. Nobody cares about this trial but far left wing extremists and the deep state.
@SpencerWilliamsIV
@SpencerWilliamsIV 25 күн бұрын
Birds getting drunk on fermented berries happens more often than you’d think
@8arrows
@8arrows 25 күн бұрын
So do most mammals
@francescaa8331
@francescaa8331 25 күн бұрын
Yes. It's pretty common.
@ramonaholmes617
@ramonaholmes617 25 күн бұрын
Yeah, me too.😅😅😂😂
@cheeseschrist2303
@cheeseschrist2303 25 күн бұрын
How would you know what I think?
@gerryboudreaultboudreault2608
@gerryboudreaultboudreault2608 25 күн бұрын
Also, Horses get drunk on ripe apples
@pampayne4482
@pampayne4482 25 күн бұрын
"All the doo daa day?" How did he keep a straight face? 🤣🤣🤣
@robertawalsh2995
@robertawalsh2995 25 күн бұрын
9:32 Vultures can't drive. That's a turkey driving the UBIRD.
@lorettanericcio-bohlman567
@lorettanericcio-bohlman567 24 күн бұрын
Finding your fun where we can indeed, thanks Stephen 💜💕💜💕
@bhambhole
@bhambhole 25 күн бұрын
The writing in this episode was different than normal and i really enjoyed it. The humor was more witty and obscure. Shout out to the team who created this monologue. Stay weird! ❤
@kikivolauvent1
@kikivolauvent1 24 күн бұрын
…. And stay wired too 😉
@jamesfloyd6075
@jamesfloyd6075 23 күн бұрын
I think Colbert broke the record for most traditional folk songs sung in an opening monologue
@emilyviehland3544
@emilyviehland3544 25 күн бұрын
I have raced in a giant pumpkin before! It's AWESOME!!! Alas, the annual Pittsburgh Giant Pumpkin Festival no longer includes a "boating" event. But it was EPIC during the few years that they included it.
@robertcowan7610
@robertcowan7610 24 күн бұрын
FYI: @cindersuzie says "Come to Oregon in October where they have the West Coast Giant Pumpkin Regatta every year tor the last 20 years"! It's in the comment section after your own comment. Thought you might like to know!
@docjoe86
@docjoe86 25 күн бұрын
9:33 That’s not a vulture driving, that’s definitely a turkey.
@SweetTreat-wl2yl
@SweetTreat-wl2yl 25 күн бұрын
Yep, that's Tom.
@azeziktomi7119
@azeziktomi7119 25 күн бұрын
I haven't seen an insult so unfairly directed at birds in a long time. That is a TURKEY sir!
@karenneill9109
@karenneill9109 25 күн бұрын
I mean, UBird has a reputation to uphold! They wouldn’t let their drivers be vultures!!
@blackbeerd
@blackbeerd 25 күн бұрын
would be hilarious if they release a correction on this
@francescaa8331
@francescaa8331 25 күн бұрын
Definitely Tom, yes.
@danielx1224
@danielx1224 25 күн бұрын
I did not see the "all the doo da day" coming, and laughed way too hard.
@jimwilliams3816
@jimwilliams3816 24 күн бұрын
I saw the potential as soon as he pronounced the guy’s name, but wasn’t sure they would dare to go there. My question: is Yankee Doodle still widely known among younger generations, or was this a joke for those of us of A Certain Age?
@KnockOut242
@KnockOut242 25 күн бұрын
Never fight uphill, me boys 😂😂😂
@peterfedun-sk3jt
@peterfedun-sk3jt 24 күн бұрын
You and your writers are having a heyday with this election & trial! Good on ya!!!
@joyousdog1
@joyousdog1 25 күн бұрын
I think this monologue was custom-written for pun-loving music teachers with every old ditty ever written rattling around in their heads. I am one of those teachers. Duda indeed. 😁
@clickrick
@clickrick 25 күн бұрын
Absolutely. All the Duda day!
@RevCeleste
@RevCeleste 25 күн бұрын
They're absolutely needs to be a gag order on releasing any info about any of the jurors. And Jesse Watters needs to be charged with jury tampering
@maplebones
@maplebones 25 күн бұрын
He only reported publicly available information. Your beef is with the court which released the information.
@itspersonal3351
@itspersonal3351 24 күн бұрын
Trump added onto that watters “quote” That wasn’t a verbatim statement. Watters should definitely be charged with jury tampering and intimidation. Trump violated the gag order. AGAIN. In my view, it seems Watters was attempting to send a message to Maga, to lie to get on the jury? The DA is the party in the case who removed a juror after discovering he had been arrested in the 90s for tearing up a political poster.
@itspersonal3351
@itspersonal3351 24 күн бұрын
I agree. Watters attempted to intimidate jurors and it worked. 🤬 Dump actually added onto Watters statement. It wasn’t a exact quote so dump violated the gag order AGAIN. His attorney lied to the judge claiming it was a repost. It wasn’t verbatim even though he put it in quotes.
@TheGeosto
@TheGeosto 24 күн бұрын
@@cufflink9558 He is that self- satisfied smirking Fox News jackass. He used to work for Bill O’Reilly before Bill O’Reilly was let go for the sex stuff.
@catmomjewett
@catmomjewett 24 күн бұрын
Jury tampering, being an a33hole and pretending to have a mother. 🤯
@ericsingloud
@ericsingloud 23 күн бұрын
I loved all the singing in this monologue! AWESOME!
@kngus
@kngus 24 күн бұрын
SUCH GOOD JOKES today
@marisabenson1222
@marisabenson1222 25 күн бұрын
Support democracies support Ukraine
@chenzen1578
@chenzen1578 25 күн бұрын
You mean: "Democracies support Ukraine" as statement? Because it shows where Reputincans stand!
@frozenrose84
@frozenrose84 25 күн бұрын
down with Putin, Trump, MBS, Xi... too many to list.. -.-
@Playwright62
@Playwright62 24 күн бұрын
🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 Slava Ukrainii
@judithmura495
@judithmura495 23 күн бұрын
@@frozenrose84 yes! Down with poootin, tRumpo mosscow marj GanGreene, And all Fascist Leaders!
@TheStormyDebris
@TheStormyDebris 25 күн бұрын
Hat's off to the comedy writers.....this was stellar peak perfection!!!! Loved every minute of this....🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@brandonwomack7379
@brandonwomack7379 25 күн бұрын
I feel the opposite. The writers are trash. I watch this show daily and Kimmel as well. Kimmel has the better writers by far.
@phylis3917
@phylis3917 25 күн бұрын
👍🏿
@fuchurZero
@fuchurZero 25 күн бұрын
​@@brandonwomack7379I cant stand any other late night show host. Stephen Colberts writer were on fire - I laughed out loud
@brandonwomack7379
@brandonwomack7379 24 күн бұрын
@fuchurZero OK that's fine. 1 thing I know colbert doesn't have is real in time feuds. Mike Lindell and Donald vs Kimmel is the best TV of my lifetime.
@oldones59
@oldones59 21 күн бұрын
Stormy Daniel's is a tough, well-spoken lady. She's going to make Trump's lawyers look like fools, even though she's a witness.
@namcat53
@namcat53 24 күн бұрын
The jurors' personal information must be kept secret and the defendant must be jailed for every contempt charge like any citizen.
@litterbox2010
@litterbox2010 25 күн бұрын
It's so funny how he's actually so dumb that he thinks he can insist the JUDGE recuse himself because the JUDGE is too close to the case hes JUDGING. lmaoooo. He's like, 5. Mentally.
@israelcm7246
@israelcm7246 25 күн бұрын
His too stupidly, stupid.
@wellendowedplatypus9024
@wellendowedplatypus9024 25 күн бұрын
"I attacked and threatened his daughter and encourage my followers to do the same, so he is no longer impartial" - like how does that work as a defense??
@frozenrose84
@frozenrose84 25 күн бұрын
yes. Trump is really stupid, immature and uneducated... but so many people seem to be even worse -.- sometimes it's quite hard to bear...
@Logan_Baron
@Logan_Baron 24 күн бұрын
I've seen sovereign citizens try a similar tactic. "I filed a suit against you (the judge) for a claim that you don't have jurisdiction to try me. Since I filed that case, it would be a conflict of interest for you, so you have to recuse yourself".
@lisagulick4144
@lisagulick4144 24 күн бұрын
He's never made it out of the Terrible Twos!
@JCTiggs1
@JCTiggs1 25 күн бұрын
"Just like bankruptcies I should have unlimited strikes!" - Trump
@emrecck
@emrecck 25 күн бұрын
😂
@maargenbx1454
@maargenbx1454 24 күн бұрын
Wow - Stephen’s monologue was a musical tonight! Started off with ‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game” then “99 Bottles of Beer”. When he got to “Camptown Ladies” he had 8 minutes left, so I was chanting “one more, one more!” My partner just laughed at me, but we high fived when Stephen threw in “Drunken Sailor” for the finish. That was fun! 😂
@lenordbrazil9580
@lenordbrazil9580 25 күн бұрын
Thank you jurrors for your service
@BooksForever
@BooksForever 25 күн бұрын
How is Trump not running afoul of the Logan Act when he meets with these various foreign leaders?
@WyvernYT
@WyvernYT 25 күн бұрын
If their governments are not considered "hostile" to the United States, no. After that, there's endless room for quibbling about whether whatever they said constituted negotiation.
@dafttool
@dafttool 25 күн бұрын
I agree. Trump is acting as a shadow president, telling the House exactly what actions he wants them to do, from impeaching the present president under trumped up charges/insinuations, to not voting on border security for his campaign, or for foreign aid to Ukraine, to aid his master Putin.
@cdngrrleh
@cdngrrleh 25 күн бұрын
I do not like Trump, but Obama meets with other world leaders on the regular.
@cmdraftbrn
@cmdraftbrn 24 күн бұрын
what you think congress is suddenly get its head out of its ass and hold dur fuhrer accountable?
@jdushoff
@jdushoff 22 күн бұрын
He's probably not, but it also doesn't matter. He's either getting elected, or going down. A few more crimes here or there doesn't even matter.
@NigelLouis-he8yc
@NigelLouis-he8yc 25 күн бұрын
A TOTAL EMBARRASSMENT TO THE PRESIDENCY...DJT.....!!!!!!!!
@SofiaMelander
@SofiaMelander 24 күн бұрын
Just presidency itself is...
@blueseruser
@blueseruser 25 күн бұрын
Stephen is a treat, every night, and delivers a dose of humor to the news we all really need, in these troubled political times…!
@presbyterosBassI
@presbyterosBassI 23 күн бұрын
The coolest "person" in Australia, is Bandit, Bluey's dad.
@alex-top
@alex-top 25 күн бұрын
As a Pole I really appreciate the Duda joke 😂 we have a website in Poland that counts down for him to finally retire 🎉
@lynn9822
@lynn9822 24 күн бұрын
Waiting for him to retire, doo-dah, doo-dah
@anwatts1
@anwatts1 25 күн бұрын
One of the missions my Grandfather had with the Australian army in New Guinea during WWII was to make friendly contact with the head hunting cannibal tribes and, believe it or not, convince them that Japanese soldiers tasted better than the Americans and Australians. Yes, he was actually successful at this, so hearing that old Joe's uncle was turned into a tasty local dish isn't far fetched at all.
@samuela-aegisdottir
@samuela-aegisdottir 23 күн бұрын
My great-uncle emigrated from Czechoslovakia to Australia in 1948 and served some time as a doctor at Papua New Guinea. There were definitelly cannibals back then. He wasn't eaten, but some native people wanted him to marry one very young teenage girl of theirs. He did not want to marry a child, but he had to decline the offer very carefully not to make them offended. It was a very delicate situation, because the locals considered them being engaged due to some gestures he accidentally had made while in a car with that child.
@paulwarner2432
@paulwarner2432 21 күн бұрын
Yeah it felt like an executive producer stepped in to be like, we gotta throw a Biden joke in there to appear even-keel, but Biden's explanation seemed perfectly reasonable about what could have happened.
@janetw.5706
@janetw.5706 24 күн бұрын
Stephen, you are hilarious, as always. I laugh aloud during your monologue all the time and we all need humor nowadays, don’t we? Your writers are great and your delivery is sublime. Your show is always a highlight of the day. Keep up the wonderful work…
@jopowers5006
@jopowers5006 24 күн бұрын
Louis Cato! What a doll. I love his laugh.
@grizzlynad
@grizzlynad 25 күн бұрын
From someone else’s post, “it’s up to you New York, New York” 🤪 but seriously, WTF, newspapers, etc, should be writing 0 about jurors 🙄😤🤬
@1020LAStep
@1020LAStep 25 күн бұрын
Since Trump is a New Yorker I am glad you guys are the first ones kicking his butt.
@JHNoble
@JHNoble 24 күн бұрын
even back in 2016, Trump lost NY, NJ & New England by a landslide, because they already knew him. 😎
@lisagulick4144
@lisagulick4144 24 күн бұрын
Well, T****'s got a pretty big butt - it's going to take all 9 million New Yorkers to kick it properly. Hey, would somebody please give an extra kick on my behalf?
@maargenbx1454
@maargenbx1454 23 күн бұрын
I’m embarrassed, actually. If we hadn’t let him get away with so much crap for decades we would have saved the country a lot of grief. I guess we didn’t take him seriously here for so long that it never occurred to us the rest of the country didn’t know him like we did. We’re so sorry 😞
@JHNoble
@JHNoble 23 күн бұрын
@@maargenbx1454 I think "we" tried, but who listens to the northeast, really? 🤔 Trump, like all good conmen, was new, shiny and showy.
@lisagulick4144
@lisagulick4144 22 күн бұрын
@@maargenbx1454 I'm from the Midwest. I knew he was a walking sphincter when the Ivana divorce hit the national press. In fact, when he announced he was running, that was my first thought: If he would shaft his own wife, he would shaft the country. Those who cannot be trusted in small things have no business with a big thing like the Presidency!
@kn9ioutom
@kn9ioutom 23 күн бұрын
From Hush Money TO INSURRECTION !
@TOPA808
@TOPA808 24 күн бұрын
9:33 THAT is a turkey driving my friend! And they are known to be VERY capable drivers!
@marcwright8395
@marcwright8395 25 күн бұрын
Here in Nova Scotia Canada, we have a giant pumpkin contest every fall, and part of that festival is a pumpkin boat race
@rex-racer
@rex-racer 25 күн бұрын
We have a similar one in Maine too!
@victoriabaker4400
@victoriabaker4400 25 күн бұрын
Never heard of it, but such a fabulous idea! I was struck by the clarity of the water in that clip. Beautiful!
@Tadicuslegion78
@Tadicuslegion78 25 күн бұрын
Place your bets, how toxic is this trial gonna get before it’s over
@wheressteve
@wheressteve 25 күн бұрын
All of the available toxic ?
@SonicSlicer
@SonicSlicer 25 күн бұрын
Chernobyl has entered the chat.
@ArnoutCW
@ArnoutCW 25 күн бұрын
Do we quantify that in the number of death threats?
@exomancer3632
@exomancer3632 25 күн бұрын
Probably around Ricin level, maybe Anthrax.
@librarianseth5572
@librarianseth5572 25 күн бұрын
We'll need new words for it
@Fork1
@Fork1 21 күн бұрын
A lot of singing today! Makes it a good start to my day!
@rachelbonnar
@rachelbonnar 24 күн бұрын
That was a Tom turkey driving the UBird. You can see the tail feathers splayed out, and he has that red thing that hangs over his beak.
@44yvo
@44yvo 25 күн бұрын
"Unlimited strikes against jurors" would mean that Trump could postpone the trial forever ...🙄
@user-ej9ng2hx6u
@user-ej9ng2hx6u 25 күн бұрын
But he'd have to sit there in perpetuity. Which would be almost as good as prison.
@mickie5282
@mickie5282 25 күн бұрын
Yeah, like everything else, he didn't really think that idea through.
@schmonzo42
@schmonzo42 25 күн бұрын
He actually can kick unlimited jurors. He just needs proof that they shouldn’t be on the jury. He can only dismiss 10 jurors just because of his gut feeling.
@kickazz999
@kickazz999 25 күн бұрын
Siberian gulag Gutmo Wardens apartment
@nagranoth_
@nagranoth_ 25 күн бұрын
which is exactly his goal: postpone until it's only people who will support him.
@CaptainCologne
@CaptainCologne 25 күн бұрын
Trump’s response to the sleeping allegations: “Fake Snooze!”
@tootz1950
@tootz1950 25 күн бұрын
That was Jimmy Kimmel last night. You're so good maybe you should write comedy for him.
@ag4allgood
@ag4allgood 25 күн бұрын
@@tootz1950 Trump is DOZO ! Orange face & white hands !
@CaptainCologne
@CaptainCologne 25 күн бұрын
@@tootz1950 Are you sure that was on Kimmel last night? I watched it and didn’t hear that.
@janicebunch7599
@janicebunch7599 25 күн бұрын
@@CaptainCologne Ebenezer Snooze
@verityundefinedhunt8085
@verityundefinedhunt8085 25 күн бұрын
😂🤣
@robinfletcher6718
@robinfletcher6718 21 күн бұрын
you are brilliant and humane. so rare. thank you !
@medcoxo
@medcoxo 20 күн бұрын
I am impressed about him knowing 'Squirtle'!!
@jasonjimerson7046
@jasonjimerson7046 25 күн бұрын
The Drunken Vulture... I think I found the name to the inn in my new D&D campaign.
@sshaw4429
@sshaw4429 25 күн бұрын
Former President Act………WHY WHY is he allowed to meet with leaders of other countries?
@tootz1950
@tootz1950 25 күн бұрын
Democracy. Freedom. You know, those things Republicans hate and we're trying to save. At least some of us, I hope to hell that in November more want Democracy.
@davewitter6565
@davewitter6565 25 күн бұрын
Violation of the Logan Act.
@EinsteinsHair
@EinsteinsHair 25 күн бұрын
I vaguely recall ... (looks it up). The Logan Act criminalizes unauthorized citizens negotiating with foreign countries that are having a dispute with the U.S. I guess we are not having a dispute with any of them. I remember this law because it came up when Jesse Jackson was running for president in 1984. Syria had shot down and captured an American pilot. It may have been technically illegal for him to negotiate the man's release, and other foreign visits, but he was successful, and no action was taken against him.
@alexeyman7301
@alexeyman7301 25 күн бұрын
I mean, anyone is allowed to meet with anyone else - you could meet with them too of you could convince them to show up
@kathleenaustin327
@kathleenaustin327 25 күн бұрын
Leaders can meet with whoever they want! Poland should be ashamed for meeting with Trump!!! Maybe he wants funding for Ukraine! Getting him to talk to his cult!
@xy6845
@xy6845 24 күн бұрын
Thanks Stephen & LSSC for always being here for us.
@Kim-ng7sl
@Kim-ng7sl 24 күн бұрын
Right on Colber! Live you❤🎉!
@Opus313
@Opus313 25 күн бұрын
It's somewhat reassuring that Donnie isn't getting much of a crowd outside the court... that would bode well for the future...
@camelshitonthewalls446
@camelshitonthewalls446 25 күн бұрын
It is, isn't it 🤞
@thelonesomefisherman7425
@thelonesomefisherman7425 25 күн бұрын
I was thinking the same thing. Glad I'm not the only one.
@NewMessage
@NewMessage 25 күн бұрын
Let's hope it isn't deliberate to lull us into a false sense of security...
@carlynfry
@carlynfry 25 күн бұрын
it is in Manhattan… not many Trumpers there….
@wonderrob3225
@wonderrob3225 25 күн бұрын
I'm still worried about the fact that this is a Jury trial. What do you think the chances are that he has already paid-off and threatened the jury members. What are the chances that not even one of these jurors is a fox "news" fan.
@jimmyguitar2933
@jimmyguitar2933 25 күн бұрын
That poll makes me mad & sad. When did this become such an unserious country?
@victoriabaker4400
@victoriabaker4400 25 күн бұрын
I don't have any evidence for this, but my gut says these things are concocted specifically to support trump.
@chenzen1578
@chenzen1578 25 күн бұрын
thanks for that thought. This election does not only determine who's gonna be the next POTUS, but also if he is going to support Ukraine, Israel, Women's (reproductive) rights, controlled immigration, fighting climate change instead of ignoring it, separation of church and state and above all DEMOCRACY. And they made a poll about hot dogs and diapers. Sadly, no laws against idiocy.
@firstlast-tp7zo
@firstlast-tp7zo 24 күн бұрын
Since Republicans. Every lunatic is embraced by them for their votes. They can’t win with their policies.
@user-my7uf2gi2y
@user-my7uf2gi2y 24 күн бұрын
It became unserious: 2020 pandemic and the country never fully recovered from #45
@terryturner2818
@terryturner2818 24 күн бұрын
Just so you know…Re: headhunters/cannibals in New Guinea. My dad, my uncle Joe, and my uncle Benny were all stationed in the South Pacific during World War II and all were pilots. Uncle Benny told us about flying missions around New Guinea. There were Japanese soldiers in one section, another part was controlled by Americans, BUT! There was another part that was uncleared Jungle where headhuntertribes lived. Pilots needed to stay out of that area- or you might become dinner.
@tonimartin8371
@tonimartin8371 25 күн бұрын
His picture book is so precious 💞
@weronikatarczaowicz9414
@weronikatarczaowicz9414 25 күн бұрын
I feel so bad and so embarassed that the president of my country kissed a ring in a Trump tower saying Poles love Trump. 🙈 This is total BS. We do not. As we don't love or respect Duda, too.
@intelligencia-co2fu
@intelligencia-co2fu 24 күн бұрын
NOBODY in Europe loves Trump. And Kaczynski's puppet _biro_ Duda's a&& will hopefully be kicked out next year. Greetings from 🇳🇱
@DouglasRichardson-er4ky
@DouglasRichardson-er4ky 24 күн бұрын
Don't worry we still love Poland 🇵🇱 best wishes from Democrats here in the USA but specifically here in BLUE 💙 ARIZONA 🌵!!! 🤠🫵🏼🌵🐎🇺🇸💙🇵🇱
@wyskass861
@wyskass861 24 күн бұрын
Well, MAGA and PiS are equivalent fascist parties for morons, so it makes sense.
@NewMessage
@NewMessage 25 күн бұрын
I remember way back when the idea of Donnie in a criminal courtroom was a desperate, but waning hope.... It's been a good week.
@bobf5360
@bobf5360 25 күн бұрын
we're all doomed, because he will just fundraise off his felonies.
@marianne1156
@marianne1156 25 күн бұрын
We're getting closer to " it's good to be alive " days again. Make America Good Again
@wonderrob3225
@wonderrob3225 25 күн бұрын
It reminds of what Gandalf says "there never was much of a hope , only a fools hope..
25 күн бұрын
That is the reason I don't want him jailed. If the judge were to *Lock Him Up* he would fundraise millions more. He knows that and has told his CULT that he is going to prison for them & they are stupid enough to believe him.
@kingjamos2422
@kingjamos2422 25 күн бұрын
@@marianne1156 When were those? I only remember the "Well... I'm not dead..." days.
@ashwinvenkat950
@ashwinvenkat950 22 күн бұрын
That Lindsay Graham joke was so brilliant (and accurate). 😂😂
@samkurlekar
@samkurlekar 24 күн бұрын
This was the funniest monologue in a long time!
@AndrewJohnson-oy8oj
@AndrewJohnson-oy8oj 25 күн бұрын
An unrestricted free press is necessary to a free society. That said, the press needs to learn the boundary between what is news and what irresponsible endangerment.
@itsROMPERS...
@itsROMPERS... 25 күн бұрын
They know and they're going for endangerment.
@victoriabaker4400
@victoriabaker4400 25 күн бұрын
Fox has been on the side of endangerment since inception.
@BillClarke-cn5lf
@BillClarke-cn5lf 25 күн бұрын
There used to be serious professional standards in journalism. This was before morons and crockpots tuned into podcasts which only tell them what they want to hear in order to get money and ratings.
@MrHaighahatta
@MrHaighahatta 24 күн бұрын
@@itsROMPERS... If a juror or their family member ends up harmed as a result, their response will be "c'est la guerre," thoughts and prayers, and what can we broadcast and exploit about the alternate juror?
@itsROMPERS...
@itsROMPERS... 24 күн бұрын
@@MrHaighahatta it's truly frightening. They didn't care who they sacrifice in their no holds barred campaign to install a fascist dictator of America.
@polyglot12
@polyglot12 25 күн бұрын
"The city that never sleeps, unless you're Donald Trump in a courtroom!"😂
@jannetteberends8730
@jannetteberends8730 25 күн бұрын
The city that makes your dreams come true
@jessehudgins6066
@jessehudgins6066 25 күн бұрын
I literally just hear that part! Crazy Coincidence!!!
@kingjamos2422
@kingjamos2422 25 күн бұрын
@@jannetteberends8730 Oh, dear god... I usually have nightmares!
@sodrav
@sodrav 25 күн бұрын
BEST comment 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@randyasuarez
@randyasuarez 24 күн бұрын
This actually implied that Donald Trump sleeps. Joke didn't land but he tried.
@gilgograboid8244
@gilgograboid8244 21 күн бұрын
That was a great "Skeletor" voice- I could totally see him yelling, meme-style
@nannettehuffman8397
@nannettehuffman8397 25 күн бұрын
SC - you are the BEST. Give ur crew a raise.
@celinadavies
@celinadavies 25 күн бұрын
🌟 Yes sweet Stephen Colbert....you are my host....and I thank you...once again.. 🤗💓🇨🇦
@pamforti7919
@pamforti7919 25 күн бұрын
Maybe Trump got his famous quote from the Irish juror " don't fight up hill me boys"
@taravelarde9728
@taravelarde9728 23 күн бұрын
I'm really loving the amount of folk song references here 👌🏽
@billeem5151
@billeem5151 24 күн бұрын
THE JURY SHOULD GET BODY GUARDS! 😑
@heatherpetrie8723
@heatherpetrie8723 25 күн бұрын
Luuuved the Duda day!
@alexvaraderey
@alexvaraderey 25 күн бұрын
A friend of mine used to be a teacher in Papua New Guinea & said that you wouldn't want to be walking outside of the town during the evening and that the natives were only one generation away from headhunting & eating people. He was there 30 years ago, so Biden's story from WW2 is certainly possible.
@susanpelletier921
@susanpelletier921 25 күн бұрын
I read a book about the cannibals in papau new guinea during WW2. At least one plane was forced to land there. I can't remember the name of the book.
@LazyIRanch
@LazyIRanch 25 күн бұрын
It's very possible. Michael Rockefeller (son of Nelson) was in New Guinea as an anthropologist and he disappeared in 1961, presumed drowned. No remains were ever found but some who know the Asmat people who live there confirmed they were cannibals and headhunters. Biden's story isn't ridiculous, it could have happened and that's what he said. He didn't say it DID happen, just that it was a possibility since he was never found.
@kevinriddell2105
@kevinriddell2105 25 күн бұрын
I lived in PNG in 1976-1977. Cannibalism was only practised by a certain tribe in the highlands back then. Can't remember the name of the tribe. Started with a K. Apparently there is still cannibalism happening there. But on a small scale compared to WW2 times
@victoriabaker4400
@victoriabaker4400 25 күн бұрын
Yes, but it is a bit unseemly to tell that story, imo. Otoh, since the populace seems to enjoy the unseemly so much, it may be a genius move.
@twonumber22
@twonumber22 24 күн бұрын
Definitely possible. There were reports of American GI's doing the same when they were starving.
@camelshitonthewalls446
@camelshitonthewalls446 25 күн бұрын
This feels like the first, *_real_* step toward holding defendant trump accountable. And may *_real_* accountability finally happen. In the not too distant future, please.
@ff-cq5hh
@ff-cq5hh 25 күн бұрын
Based on nothing
@BuildinWings
@BuildinWings 25 күн бұрын
Next Sunday, AD?
@PoopSocksShitShow
@PoopSocksShitShow 25 күн бұрын
@@ff-cq5hh Unlike the "nothing" based on your feelings of the stolen election or the "nothing" to impeach Biden. Lie more, Its all you got.
@TheUluxian
@TheUluxian 25 күн бұрын
@@ff-cq5hh You kiss your mother with those morals?
@cheeririnaldo435
@cheeririnaldo435 25 күн бұрын
I'll believe it when I see it.
@threefeetofair758
@threefeetofair758 24 күн бұрын
It's the "hum a few bars and I'll fake it!" monologue
@lesap8889
@lesap8889 24 күн бұрын
I love Louis, way more vocal this year!
@DrownedInExile
@DrownedInExile 25 күн бұрын
9:16 "Ubird" Ow my sides. I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything! LMAO!!!
@dianetodd6688
@dianetodd6688 23 күн бұрын
I love the Lindsey Graham monologue because it’s true!!
@rolyatecnal
@rolyatecnal 24 күн бұрын
You crushed it.
@orghanikproductions9293
@orghanikproductions9293 25 күн бұрын
@ 9:25 - THAT'S A TURKEY DRIVING, NOT A VULTRE. C'MON MY GUY!
@chenzen1578
@chenzen1578 25 күн бұрын
yeah, a turkey driving an uber, makes sense
@garymacy1723
@garymacy1723 24 күн бұрын
oh it goes deeper than that, the wing the vulture is using to hail the turkey-operated taxi cab is indeed a turkey wing rather than a vulture wing haha
@cmorris9494
@cmorris9494 24 күн бұрын
Corrections is a seth meyer(s) thing.
@orghanikproductions9293
@orghanikproductions9293 24 күн бұрын
@@garymacy1723 😂😆🤣
@jjwubs1638
@jjwubs1638 25 күн бұрын
9:24 Mr Colbert, that is not a vulture behind the wheel, that's a turkey. They are commonly known to be excellent chauffeurs, so no reason to panic.
@Kirstinevad
@Kirstinevad 24 күн бұрын
This gave me a good laugh. 👍
@petrab.285
@petrab.285 24 күн бұрын
All the doodah day!😂
@dorrolorro
@dorrolorro 24 күн бұрын
Wasn't the Ubird driven by a turkey? The vulture's gonna eat it up!
@Spinnykarks-yz5iw
@Spinnykarks-yz5iw 24 күн бұрын
Turkey Vulture
@lucillecote7091
@lucillecote7091 25 күн бұрын
Dont let the corrupt take over...guard the house!
@DanBuell
@DanBuell 25 күн бұрын
Kudos to whomever wrote the monologue tonight. My box score has you fairly behind a couple of the others of late but tonight, Mr. Colbert, you were the winner! Congratulations and more importantly, thank you.
@Desertphile
@Desertphile 24 күн бұрын
"Strikes" are unlimited when potential jurors say they cannot be impartial and fair.
@terryt.1643
@terryt.1643 24 күн бұрын
Just to set the record straight, that was a turkey driving the Ubird. 😂😂😂
@kevin07817
@kevin07817 25 күн бұрын
Fun fact: Guinea pigs are named for a region in the Andes; not Papua New Guinea, or any other country with Guinea in its name
@docjoe86
@docjoe86 25 күн бұрын
Guinea pigs are from South America, but there is no region called Guinea in South America. They were called Guinea pigs to make them sound exotic.
@mr.joshua6818
@mr.joshua6818 25 күн бұрын
Okay, now I'm confused again. WHERE do I go to get some guinea pig?​@@docjoe86
@chenzen1578
@chenzen1578 25 күн бұрын
They are called pigs for the squieking sounds they made, but they are rodent's. Maybe yno one cares, but now you know.
@victoriabaker4400
@victoriabaker4400 25 күн бұрын
Knowing that guinea pigs are from South America is why that joke was funny, for me. It was a complete non sequitur.
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