Thank you for sharing your perspective. I completely agree with you.

yes! this!!! i get kalyn's perspective but i agree so much more with yours

It is common spiritual bypassing, which is on the same lines of toxic positivity. It overlooks the damage trauma does and what it actually robs from people. It also comes from privilege, ignoring poverty, disabilities, chronic illness, minority and generational immigration. In reality we have very little control and bad things do and can just happen without a deeper purpose or reason. It can simply be a consequence of someone else's behaviour, including systematic problems. Plenty of people learn great skills without it being a result of mental illness. Your mental illness does not need to lead to growth. Depression and anxiety are normal responses and communication piece. Clinical depression and anxiety is not "a bad year", it's disabling. It does not make you a better person for it. You do actually lose time from it, you do miss opportunities, you do lose connections. Especially if you're unable to access support. Some people never grow because it is actually disabling. It doesn't build a foundation. Unless we are trying to argue genocide makes you a stronger person and you just need a prespetive change and we all go through hard times. And I highly doubt we're willing to say that.

@@lunarose9042 yes. The causes and effects of trauma are disabling where one can lose life and capacity to function. Thank you for sharing this.

It’s ok 💕 I’m now 30 and my mental health held me alot in my twenties and now I’m starting to take a baby steps towards my goals and dreams you are not alone or behind in life take your time and believe that everything will be more than ok 💕💕

same

That is totally fine. Life obstacles are unpredictable. Especially, when it comes to physical and mental health. I am 23 years old. The past few years, I struggled with my mental health. Due to personal reasons and external factors I could not control, I couldn't study at a university right after highschool. My dream has always been to study and become a psychologist. I couldn't fulfil my goal back then, but I can now. I have started preparing for entrance exams, hoping to start studying psychology at the age of 24. Age is just a number and it doesn't define our life's path in any way. We are conditioned to believe that we have to achieve certain goals in a specific societally structured timeline, but that is not the case. I shared my personal experience, in order to motivate you to go after your dreams, regardless of your current state, or chapter you are in. Let's never give up and achieve our goals! ❤

I'm so, so sorry for your loss, sending you lots of love and softness during this time ♥️

@@KalynsCoffeeTalk Thank you♥

You did so well! For me life went totally downhill ever since the pandemic - I quit my studies and my mental health plummeted so I am very impressed by how much you’ve achieved even though it was such a hard time!

Didn't watch the video, so take it with a grain of salt. I wasn't feeling... well. Due to similar reasons as yours, but then, Lo and behold, I received a little relief through an instagram post. It said: *"don't be afraid to start over again, this time you're not starting from scratch, you're starting from experience"* This gave me solace. I had ups and downs, frustrations, lack of action, resolution, persistence for a various reasons of things which I'm also accountable for, but whether I like it or not, all of this led me to today, they helped me learn - I'm not talking about bad things, hurt, trauma, although they can serve us for perception, they were never meant for us. I'm talking about confusion, not knowing what to do, being scarred from past situations, all of this journey of trying led me to figure out myself. Obviously, I need to thank God because of that, He helped me with things I was not mentally capacitated to resolve and gave me light on what to do. Today I'm not confused, I know exactly what I want, I'm not 100% confident and shamelessly powerful in myself yet, but I'm way more "mature", more ME than I was before, most of my scars have healed, now I just need to pour into myself more with my real program: I am worthy, I am capable, I deserve good things to happen to me. And guess what, I'm 30 years young, living with my grandma, and just restarting a job that I left some months ago. I was pursuing something but I faced a wall, a failure, I was too confident in my skills, and found myself at risk of not having money for my expenses (while living with my grandmother, which is a big no no as I don't want to burden her) so I quickly went on a job hunt and I ended up reaching out to my previous job and I was accepted (which is something I usually don't do); so yeah, back to my old job. But remember that instagram phrase? I'm not starting from scratch: I'm not the same person, I'm not as hurt anymore, I'm not confused anymore, I'm no longer so focused on the future that I hinder myself of enjoying the present, I'm more intentional, I have less fcks to give, I'm not trying to sprint or look so much at other's peoples lives as a timer for my own, I know myself more, I have experience, failure helped me see my flaws and what I need to do better, I have job! that will cover my expenses and help me live life! at the best of my abilities, I live with my grandma and although it can be annoying sometimes, it helps me save, and I'm definitely living in the now, not expecting to reach certain milestones to enjoy what I want. You're not starting over, you just needed to clear the fog to actually get a hold of what's really in your heart. This is not to say feelings of being "old" or "left out" or the weight of starting over don't poke at me, but at the end of the day, I'm aware enough to know that I'm only this clear minded because I am here Now. So, don't let it affect you too much. Grieve, cry and treasure yourself, nurture yourself. Gather all data from the past and see what does it tell about what you want to do, only you can tell that, but I'm confident all this time as at least given you clues of what you really REALLY don't want to do. It's a journey, don't try to sprint unnecessarily when your mind needs rests, don't program things aaaaall the way to the end of the world when you can save, plan, readjust and peacefully enjoy it now, even if it's not grand, see it as a taste of what's to come. Do you and enjoy life, don't save it unnecessary for tomorrow, live now, live for yourself. Your life is yours. ^^ Take care. 👍🏽

Youre not alone 💗 im turning 29 this year. Moved back in with my sister because I had to quit my job (mental health related) its been almost a year and I am barely getting back on my feet.

There are no strangers… only kindred spirits that have yet to meet-KWAI CHANG CAINE 👊🏻

RIGHT?!?!

thank you!! ♥️

I'm sorry thats how it was received on your end. I was asked for advice and did my best to share my thoughts based on my own experiences and the lessons they have taught me. It's certainly not meant to sound like frivolous "trust and be patient" as you compare where you stand to where I do based on what is seen as conventionally successful. Pull away all of the material and life milestones and you'll find the energy of trial and error, dedication, making the most of circumstances, making tough decisions, putting myself out there, waiting my turn in a state of overwhelming loneliness, and definitely some strokes of good timing and good luck, which is the moral of what I was trying to communicate in this chat. I am very grateful for my job, family and home, and I want nothing more than for every other soul on the planet to receive what they dream of and wish for in full form. My intention is only to spread some light and encouragement along the way!

I can understand your viewpoint but I think that If you know Kalyn you would know that that’s not her intention at all. Being patronizing - That’s so far from who she is. It happened that her passion for youtube provided her with most of those things in the end but if you think about it that’s not why she ever did youtube, it’s just a bonus outcome. Also she struggled with most of the things mentioned in this video through the years so... please cut her some slack 😊

@@CherryBerryFashionFair enough! I don’t think it’s intentional at all, I’m just shedding light on how this sort of thing could be received. I’m sure just as many people will benefit from the message.

I think that hearing to be patient from someone who hasn't reached important goals is the weird scenario. How would they know? It can only be tone deaf if someone who has it all and always had, talks about these things. And in those cases those people still had their live lessons and heart aches. It's just less relatable. I have been following Kalyn for years and I can't imagine her being tone deaf. Her 'out loud thinking' and talking us through it have given me so much insight and has always made me feel so seen and understood. Subjects so complex that it can't be done by someone who hasn't really experienced life and 'real' problems. That being said, it brings me all the joy seeing Kalyn reaching all those milestones and the life she build for herself despite of all the challenges see faced. It's absolutely awesome and I am getting tears in my eyes right now writing this. The internet is a weird place, tearing up over someone on a screen. But I think it's justified 😌. I am rambling so bye🤣🩷

I get what your saying. But I have seen all of Kalyns struggle the past 10 years. She crawled to her Mountain top and has been in all the places she describes❤despair, sadness, loneliness and also loss and pain.

Glad you liked it 🤍

Try looking up some rent-friendly ways to personalize your space!! I know it depends on the landlord/area you live in, but in the spaces I've rented I was able to hang things up and even paint if I wanted so long as I patched and repainted it back to the the original colour when moving out. Check out your rental agreement and surf the inter web for some ideas!

You're welcome, I'm glad to know this talk helped someone out there ♥️

Would it be ok if I use your question as a thought starter for a full Coffee Talk? ♥️

Glad you enjoyed it!

That is really tough, I'm sorry

You are so welcome

So glad! Thanks for hanging out

No way 🥰 hello again!

goodness gracious, if that is true then that is beyond an honour. If it is not true, you have very funny humour hahaha. Also, thank you!

@@KalynNicholson so true She’s 5 months now. Kalyn Williams I’ve been following you since day 2017 and I have always been inspired by you, so thank you for existing. Lysm

🥹 that's such an honour. Sending you and your family many blessings and good wishes