If you want to come to my Jan 15th webinar the link to buy tickets is in the description box😁

Hold off on sex and don't let a man use you for anything, then you'll see his true character. Period.

*"There's POWER in being willing to WALK AWAY."* - Kev Hicks

"Stop trying to turn fun guys into relationships" thank you. 🙏

The first point is very needed. High value men can be players as well. Just because he looks and talks the part doesn't mean his intentions with you are genuine

"You cannot put a crown on a clown & expect a king." (Always remember this)

I've met players who've shared personal details as well. They want to pretend they're vulnerable to make yourself vulnerable to them.

Kev is so right! I say this all the time. Dating is just that “ Collecting data”. Never be ALWAYS available to a man. He needs to know that you have a life outside of him and also that you are selective about who you choose to spend your time with because your time is valuable.

"If he's not willing to have a conversation on the phone. If he only does that text messaging crap. If he just says "we should just go on a date, I don't like talking on the phone", it's possible he doesn't have anything else to offer.". - Kev Hicks

YESSS!! I don’t trust guys who are overly charismatic but have 0 substance. 🤦🏽‍♀️

When he said "He's flirting with you like a waitress for a tip and now you got a crush" OMG XDDDDDDDDD HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA *SUBSCRIBED*

Yes! He's soooo charming. But he doesn't even know your last name. 😉

I strongly recommend talking on the phone first. If he won't have a couple conversations with you then don't waste any perfume or makeup on a date.

Dating has evolved into a “fast food culture” of empty hookups with no nutritional values. Physically, we may occasionally be getting that closeness we crave... But our soul are starving for real connection. Makes me wonder what is it that make us become more disconnected from others-and ourselves-than ever before.

Also, charming guys pose as fake spiritual, all about love and law of attraction too

just realized i recently dealt with a guy like this. he ghosted me and i was crushed. but wow, you hit everything from the charm, the waitress flirting, the inviting to the crib SUPER early and the not knowing ANYTHING about him personally. whew😳 never wanna do that again💯. he ain’t smash tho😌

I’m glad I’ve had experience with this type cause after I studied his behaviours and patterns and let him go, it made me reinforce my boundaries and standards even more. You live and learn.

Also, this is important ladies...never date a man who says he's "separated". I know that sounds like a no brainer but I've encountered a man who was separated but presented it like he was separated for over 15 years but never divorced her. Although what he said was true, he IS a married man. I recently encountered this situation and I believed that he just needed to wrap it all up. As I got to know him better, I realized that he was "trying" to string me along. He was offering me some pretty sweet things (i.e. paint and spackle my bathroom, a weekend getaway at the seaahore, boating and to buy me nice things). I was NOT falling for it but had decided to teach him a lesson. I agreed to meet him for dinner and drinks. This man thought he had it in the bag and that he was getting a happy ending. Well... I ordered the most expensive drinks, ate like a mukbang at dinner and then after dinner, I made an excuse to go home. He texted me and said "you really disappointed me." My answer to him was "you may "feel" that you are single and available to date and do whatever you want BUT the FACTS and the LAW say that YOU ARE A MARRIED MAN and I don't do married men!" "I guess you thought that you could play me but as you see, YOU are the one who picked up the tab." At the end of the day, I'll give my all when he gives his all and a married man isn't available to give his "all" to any woman and it doesn't matter what his circumstances are. Ladies, it's wrong, don't do it You're going to find a lot of these separated types if you are over 40 and doing online dating. Watch out for these men, they are very clever and remember ladies there is always 2 sides to every relationship story.

Most these guys disappear if I ask them to call and have a conversation. They’re just bored. Collecting numbers if their A list woman gets busy and they have no one to talk to.

“He whipped it out of his pants & gave it to you , that’s the mystery💀” sooo Informative I love this Chanel !

"Stop tryna squeeze water from a rock". I love it but very true Kev😂👍🏽

So, my issue in the recent past has been something a bit different. I’m usually dating older men (I’m late 30s myself so men who are around 38-50). The men I date tend to be very intelligent, successful, creative, well-read, educated, interesting, etc. The convos actually would be deep and open. But what I fell for in the past (never again! I’ve learned my lesson!) was this fake rushed intimacy. We’d have all these long deep conversations, and I’d be glamoured by the “vibes” 🙄. I’d ignore the subtle red flags. It would create a rushed false sense of intimacy and closeness that wasn’t actually there because a significant amount of time hadn’t passed to appropriately and objectively vet these men and their true intentions. I use the analogy of these men wanting what high-end escorts call the GFE or “the girlfriend experience”. Classy, romantic evenings out and the illusion of a connection with these deep conversations. But what I realized is most of these men were too traumatized (and often bitter!) from past failed relationships to actually be vulnerable for real. They basically want to cos-play having a girlfriend (and the sex of course) without putting any real emotional labor or time/effort in.

Seeing the signs and leaving earlier on seems to be one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in the last few yrs.

Just went through this and never again will I date a “charmer” Totally lacking substance but can charm your pants off. He was fun but definitely not worth the wasted time. Lesson learned.

I just cut off this guy for this exact reason...hey beautiful this, hey gorgeous that...oh he would listen to me. But the dots wasn’t connecting with him 🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ lucky it was just a week but my gut feeling was like something is off😳

Sounds about Everyman in the dating pool. Majority lack the basic prerequisite of what it means to be a man ❗️

I feel like all men have the capacity to connect, they just don't view you as the woman they want to connect with on that level. Regardless, know your worth and bounce! They will waste your time for as long as you allow them to, just dealt with a situation like this....

Men are so exhausting. Talking with a guy now, he said he like me and want a serious relationship but He only text me once a week, and can not even continue a deep conversation. If I say that the communication is bad, than he said im negative and complain too much, and I feel guilty. And iff Im delete him he is very sad and mad. I really dont understand men.. Pfff if you really like a girl, you will text her almost everyday right? Why they dont communicate.. Always the same men with there communication problems

Ladies if you're listening to this. This message was probably God sent. Be strong and move on. Love yourself first!❤

The chick-fil-a “my pleasure” reference took me out 😂

These guys are ALWAYS so actually boring I really don't understand why so many fall for them.

A lot of people "share" stuff about themselves so that you can tell the truth about you and they'll judge you after. Practise descernment. People are sick out here.

You nailed it Kev! A guy I went on a date with a couple weeks ago is just like this! He has such a car salesman persona. There is something about a guy that is obsessed with his looks and gift for gab that is really annoying🙄

Truth be told “players” are honestly the best guys in the world…but let me explain because it’s kinda tricky to truly understand at first. In short-really getting a “player” to fall in love will do 2 things: it will truly show whether you really love him & most important it will make you fall in love with yourself for sure. So it can be a win-win for both of you :) These guys are charming, sweet, sexy, & confident. They appear to be every girl’s dream & they know it. BUT all of that is really just a thick armor & mask protecting what’s really inside. Deep down these are the most sensitive guys in the world. When they love they love hard & that can make them vulnerable which is more terrifying than death to them. But it’s also what they want more than anything… So they put up walls around their hearts & use barriers so that women can’t trigger their feelings. They use charm & sweet talk to maintain control, attention, validation & to get their emotional needs met without having to actually fall in love & risk getting hurt. It takes a special & patient woman who is willing to understand him, trust him & to be able to penetrate the walls gently & prove that she’s worthy of him letting her in. He needs a woman that’s going to naturally challenge him to become his best self for her. I find most of these guys don’t lie with the big stuff. They’ll tell you straight up they’re not looking for a relationship for one reason or another but they’re so charming that women continue to date them hoping that the guy will catch feelings & fall in love. But that will never happen because these guys can’t fall in love with a girl who is just an “option.” They need a genuine game changer who knows not only her worth but his as well & requires it from him before she even considers giving him her commitment. And the truth is that it’s always YOUR choice as a woman to decide what YOU want from HIM. That’s the real beauty that women sometimes don’t understand. The key is to see past the mask & speak to who he really is inside & completely open yourself up being vulnerable by telling him exactly why you’re into him while being 100% prepared to walk away calmly when he can’t give you what you want. If your guy works on Wall St compliment how hard working he is. If he’s a firefighter tell him how much you admire how brave & manly he is. Hug him, grab him by the hand, put your head on his chest & don’t be afraid of showing your affection. You have to stroke his ego & make him feel good...It’s the first step in triggering his feelings. Plus it’s adorable to watch how happy he gets when you compliment him. Never lie though…this is never a game. You just want to use your emotions as an asset to make him realize that you see who is really is & how amazing you think he is but then you want to also be extremely firm that you “don’t share well” & like him too much to not have exclusivity. You HAVE to walk away calmly, friendly, no hard feelings & wish him all the best if he’s not claiming you as his girl. No excuses ever!! He can’t love, respect, or trust a woman who can’t see thru his bullsh*t & require more from him... Don’t be concerned with his response when you do this. The really good players will respond either 1 of 3 ways. They’ll either say, “Ok” & act like they don’t care or they may just completely ignore you. Or they might act totally cool with it, say goodbye & wish you the best as well. Don’t get upset if he shows no emotion! He is waiting for you to get upset-he’s pretty much just testing you. Stay calm, cool, & friendly & always say goodbye in a friendly way & keep it moving :) It’s like acting at first & seems scary but it works like magic. Most of the time this process needs to be repeated multiple times but in the process you actually see what he’s really about & whether you REALLY love him, you learn to value yourself, & make him fall in love with you in the process. Treat yourself as the prize by opening up to him without fear by telling him exactly why you’re crazy about him but at the same time having the smarts to walk away when he still can’t commit. He will be fascinated, in shock, & come back enchanted. **Never just believe what a guy tells you until his actions consistently match his words. & don’t be surprised if he starts distancing himself. That’s usually because he’s feeling his feelings which makes him uncomfortable. Never get upset-you’re the prize & he will come back with more intensity. Remember that you as the woman are in control. If you ever feel that he’s not being honest for whatever reason, instead of getting upset & angry or stalking his social media or going thru his phone instead say something like, “Hey hun. I can just tell you’re not ready to give me what I need from a man in a relationship right now. I would never want to pressure you but I need your 100% or I can’t have you at all. I’m sure you understand where I’m coming from. I had a blast with you & wish you all the best but please don’t call or text me anymore. I’m not trying to be mean or anything but I need to give my time & attention solely on the guys that prove that they know my worth & show me that they can make me a priority in their life & have the overall ability to make me happy. You’re so cool so I know you understand. Thank you for always being so sweet with me. The girl who eventually gets you is going to be really lucky. Take care handsome.” Then you walk walk walk with your head held high...He can’t HAVE a relationship with YOU until he proves he is trustworthy!! He will learn very quickly that you are not one that will be “played” & his respect for you will skyrocket to another level...& so will his feelings...& PS he will come back!! Always use your intuition but see the best in him & talk only to that part of him. The REAL man behind the armor…. But put yourself first & make him fall in love by letting him go every time he can’t give you what you want. Respect his choice & walk away nicely. It’s the walking away without drama that entices these guys-they don’t understand it & sets you apart from other women. As long as he’s attracted to you & you make him feel like no other woman does he will always come back... & he will adore you all the more for giving him the real challenge that he’s looking for. *Oh & I almost forgot to mention- patience is key!! These guys don’t give their hearts to you easily. They talk like they do but they definitely don’t!! In fact, the more the talk, text, & open up to you the less genuine they are. All of the attention & compliments they give mean NOTHING. Realize this & you’ll never get hurt!! When these guys actually start to catch genuine feelings they act the completely opposite. Suddenly they get quiet & can become distant especially after you get closer to him. Feelings & emotions are extremely uncomfortable & confusing for players so they tend to pull away for awhile & go into their man cave while they figure everything out. But they always come back & when they do reach out again you’ll notice that the charming smooth talk stops & he will be a lot more quiet & genuine...& even a little nervous around you. That’s when you know you’re starting to see the real him. I think the more masculine & stoic guys are (soldiers, athletes, alpha males) the longer it takes for them to realize their feelings & trust you. You have to walk away A LOT in the beginning & sometimes they stay gone for months before they come back again...but they always do come back & more genuinely & with more intensity each time. This is also part of the process where you get to really see his true character & determine if you’re really in love with him like you thought. You are both feeling each other out in a legit, genuine way. Once he realizes that you’ve gotten into his soul he won’t fight his feelings anymore...He knows he’s home with you & he will love & cherish you like no other man ever could. He will be your hero...& you will realize that he was worth every second of the wait :) (This was an answer I had written on another site & I got so much positive feedback so I figured I would share it here too. Hope it helps all the girls out there that can’t seem to resist the players...Like me lol ;)

This goes for the "you're so beautiful/sexy" Guys too where that is the extent of their conversation. I had this issue once and I realized it was my fault for how I met him (at a party where I was a tad tipsy). I've corrected that since and tried to lead with quality conversation.

Yeah, there are many men out there who actually DO NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP ! And these are the biggest Players in the room! The faster you spot them, the sooner you can cut them off and get away from them, because the safest place is FAR AWAY from them.

Facts 💯, that's why his ass is blocked now‼️I ain't avoiding the obvious 😎

It is so easy for women to pick the guys who want to waste our time over the ones who are serious about a relationship.

Doesn't take me long to delete & block, unapologetically and relentlessly!

I love when you said “light interview”, that's facts 👐, on the phone with this man the other day n we was talking bout a subject so I asked him a personal question on it. He Immediately was stumped n stuttered a bit, and so I said in jest, “oh are you ok” n he took a deep breathe n said yeah, no that's a good question 😊 your supposed to ask. Wow! So far so good we talk like every other day. He wanted to see Thurs, but I said no I already made plans with the new book I ordered, which was true, he wanted to do a drive by, lol not on me Sir, its still too early o clock for those. Besides if we don't make plans b4 hand im unavailable. Clearly I can see hes used to the fast & furious but imma slow him down a bit. 😂 Thanks Kev for all your work!!

He already whipped his mystery out, lol.

My ex would get straight up angry whenever I tried to get to know about him. Any guy that does this you definitely need to get away from. And even if he says you are his girlfriend, never believe him. Especially of he has never been vulnerable with you on a communication level.

This is serious ladies let's take note of what he's teaching us, because what he's saying is what some of us are going through, so let's be careful with these men who claims to love us when in the actual sense they really don't...

I’ve dated both types of guys . My ex was a an asshole always trying to be charming and have fun. My current boyfriend is the complete opposite. He’s not as fun or a daredevil but he’s a good boyfriend and very serious about me and loyal. I don’t even have to question it. I’m the one who has to work on being a better girlfriend .

It's the "Alacazam, Alacazoo, Abracadick" for me 😂😂😂. They're always trying to whip it! And sadly there's rarely barely anything there to whip out in the first place making you have to do some abracadabra of your own 😖😩.

There never was a better timing than this video posted an hour ago, showing up in my feed, without being subscribed. Literally talking to exactly THAT guy, and old coworker, RIGHT NOW. Refreshing to get some advice on what to look and ask for!

We keep blaming ourselves for our "bad choices"...what IF the truth is that good men are only 20%? Most already partnered.....

I spent years talking to a guy without meeting any of his friends or knowing much about him. I’m glad I never slept with him. I thought we were friends first but to be honest we never got that close because he never opened up. I wasted my own time

Thank you for posting this. I had a situation like this six months ago and felt like he was “just so mysterious” and had to find out more about him. When he wouldn’t have a real conversation after I vocalized my concerns, then did the infamous slow fade, I thought it had something to do with me but now I know it’s because he had nothing to offer and wasn’t looking for anything more than just surface level bs. When he popped back up several month later, doing the same crap….blocked 🚫. Fool me once….

There are so many dating coaches out there, but YOU say it straight!! Thank you Kev Hicks! 😊

Six... Lol I'm in a relationship and happy but I still like listening to Kev... lol ❤

Kev is always so real!! I love that he gives it to us straight!! 👏👏👏

My man said “gettin pushed into couch cushions” 😂😂☠️

You are dead on it Kev!!!! Your videos have saved me a lot of time and has made these grown boys so dam predictable!!!! You were right about everything down to the cellular level!! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

I get so focused watching his videos and he gets straight to the point!!👌🏾 could listen to him all day!

"My Pleasure" took me out 😆😆. You are the greatest Kev.

You know whats sad when hes 50, 60, and 70 plus still with the bull $h!?. I have seen this SAD.

This is so wise - and yet totally hilarious 😂. Appreciate you, Kev!

Yeah....it always starts out fun in the beginning. I guess it's like you say, Kev....he starts off charming, entertaining. I don't know what age you are, Kev, but, back in my day this is what would be labeled "the gift of gab." Then? The newness...the freshness? Wears off...then he'll start behaving as if he isn't interested...or start fresh w/another NEW chick. However? the dude isn't saying ANYTHING. NOT OF substance, not of intelligence... or all his so called conversation seems to engage in the subject of sex (I am so aware of that red flag...been aware of that from the time I was a teenager). If dude doesn't wish to talk about anything deep? If a dude has never asked for your phone number (or asks you for your number BUT never called you) ? --OR-- Calls you and all he seems to speak about is sex? A guy who (unlike late rapper NOTORIOUS B.I.G) doesn't inquire "asks you what your interests are Who you be with? Things to make you smile What numbers to dial?" Then please take heed to what Kev speaks in this video. Keep your emotions under wraps and on guard. Don't let this kind of guy romantically, but, ESPECIALLY "hoodwink" or "bamboozle" you emotionally. If you aren't on point, this is exactly what will happen.

You are amazing for making this video for women. I learned the hard way with this-three years of my life were wasted, as well as pain that has lasted YEARS after. I met my first boyfriend online and we dated long distance for three years. He would flatter me and text me all day and night, sometimes until 3 am. A huge red flag I saw was him was that he NEVER shared ANYTHING about himself. Nothing. If I asked even basic things about himself such as "what is your favorite animal?" He would get very defensive and ask me why I was asking so many questions, or he would give me extremely vague replies until I stopped asking. We mutually agreed for me to move to his state (I was already planning on moving out of state). When I got there his behavior did a 360. I never saw him at the airport. He only showed up at his convenience, late at night. Often times it was unannounced. It took me a few times to catch on to the fact that he was using me for physical reasons. The most sickening part is this is the same guy who asked me "Why won't you just let me all the way in/trust me all the way?" I stayed at a understandable distance from him just in case he wasn't who he said he was. There was no genuine intentions with this guy at all. When I began distancing myself after I was catching onto his games, he noticed. One day he randomly texted me: "Are you breaking up with me?" I said no. Right before our breakup he flaked on me after making the plans with me. 2 hours after we were supposed to meet up he texted me saying "sry had to stay late at work. Will you be mad if we don't hang out?" I finally said I was disappointed but that everything was OK (the first time I ever stood up for myself.) He said "Trying to make you happy ends in noone happy I am exhausted and tired of feeling like a victim." I tried on so many occasions to apologize (He was my first love and my self-esteem was extra low after this incident.) He kept telling me he didn't care but a second later would say things like "Well you should've replied to my texts." Just lot of blameshifting and mind games. Listen to this guy's advice girls. He definitely knows what he is talking about!!!

Got it, heard the song. Great way to put it. Be willing to walk away ladies. Best thing we can do.

I would like more content on how to talk to a guy how to express these things or adress issues. In my family I didn't learn good communication and so I often am not sure how to approach sth that could bring up conflicts but also can't be avoided because it is important.

Thanks Kev This is great advice. I wish I knew this 20yrs ago 😊

*"Verify that there's something in his head besides JOKES and BANTER."*

Pressed into the couch cushions lol

Agreed,w/ EVERYTHING you have stated💕💕🖤 yio bro you deadass should make ya own podcast on Spotify I'd dead follow it no cappp

Good shit Kev! You just told me exactly what I needed to hear! ❤

I love this! I definitely need deep meaningful conversation and connection. I have that now I couldn't be happier!!

I needed to hear this! Have been wasting two years with a guy who makes me laugh but doesn't answer questions.

I know from experience, these guys will waste your time. For four months, I gave one of them, my time of day for him to break up with me four months in. After that I found out I was pregnant 2 months into the relationship, he tried to squeeze back into my life for the pregnancy but was still lolly gagging around. Tried to get with my roommate, entertain other "friends" on dating sites and other people. I told him how he wasted my time for 3 years down the road and how we should just coparent. Thanks for my son but you ain't it for me, my dude.

I usually friend zone those guys they arent my type...I like shy quiet types... those charming witty guys just makes me think they been around and know how to talk and act... Its a turn off for me....ughhhh

And the will manipulate. When you stop laughing and get serious, they call you too serious, don't know how to have fun and make you want to relax more. Or they start trying to say that you trying to change him or that he is just having fun and go with the flow. Nahhh pimp

Well said young man!!👍 Thank you Kev for keeping it 💯!

Kev giving facts as usual ❤

Spot on Kev..SPOT ON!!👏👏

Lmao @ "attached to a court gesture "🤣🤣 Great video!

I’ve been waiting for a video like this! Thank you for such helpful content.

12th😂😂😂 Always appreciate your BROTHERLY counsels!SHALOM!😄🌿

I'm dealing with this fool who thinks it's ok to not speak to me all over Christmas because he didnt want to be antisocial to his friends - like ok now I'm going to be antisocial with you 😌

Wish I watched this video in July! I let myself be fooled by a man like this last summer. He was super romantic, bringing flowers, taking me out everywhere, showing me to his friends, but he wanted to keep things light, even though we had good conversations, but rarely about anything that really matters like personal things. Ugh. I dumped him cause he wanted to have his cake and eat it too and now he's sad in my DM's.. Didn't even give him a second chance. Your video makes me mad that I was so easily fooled by the charismatic crowd charmer with no real substance or depth. I know not to be fooled anymore by what I think a man is like. Potential is a mirage.

Ken, you're divinely gifted with wisdom.

Merry Christmas, Kevin!☺

Thank you Kevin. I needed to hear this!

Thanks for all your videos. They're so real and honest! I appreciate the help!

This is one of the most valuable videos about men I've ever seen.Thank you.

You’re so genuine Kev. Please don’t change

Thanks so much Kev, for pointing out the obvious to us

The way you put things is hilarious and on point. If only guys grew out of the behaviors you've described.

100% Best advice! Lots of truth in this video Stop waisting your time on these types of immature men!

Oh man I love you ahahah You just said everything I needed to hear, plain and straight. I was always wondering why we couldnt have deeper conversation.

Word, dude - youre the best! ❤ Thanks, great point is never thought about as I get excited to meet a man with charisma and banter!

THIS IS SO TRUE!! I can’t stand when dudes have nothing to really offer in a conversation. That’s like this one guy I met who was nice and cute but all he wanted to talk about was simple stuff and the second I tried to talk to him about more in depth topics like things that are happening socially and about history and how it affects the present, etc. It completely turned me off how everytime we would try to get into a deeper convo then he would change the subject. Like if we can’t discuss deep topics then I don’t even give a fuck eventually.

I’m glad I found your channel. at this point I’m doing some soul searching b/c I keep accepting the wrong guys into my life, at this point I want no more of that I’ve been single for almost 2 and half years now.

I've been looking for this advice,,, without knowing I was actually looking for it. Thank you Kevin,,, this was very insightful

I love this. By far the best detailed description of how to spot a player. I wish I'd known this years ago. Thanks

This is so true and it cost me a year in a fake relationship. When it came down to rolling up our sleeves and getting down to the core of things he ghosted and I was more than relieved. I was beginning to feel like I was grooming him. I've come to learn that i hate that feeling

Absolutely love this message - right on time!

Thanks for another great video. Please know that many of us women appreciate you genuinely trying to help us. May you & your cute wife and beautiful family have a happy holidays🙏

Wow so well said. Especially liked, be more efficient and stop giving these wrong guys your time because you will grow weary.

Thanks for posting