Joel is nothing but another soul tie for Vern. What a waste of her energy

I like V. She seems to be very genuine and passionate. I think she gave Joel too many passes and I’m sorry that she was hurt during the process. I’m glad V recognized that this is not for her and is moving on with dignity in tact. Best wishes to her.❤️

I think Joel was attracted to Vern and liked her. However, I do not think he was interested enough to pursue anything long term. As a result, he used her to get to the end of the show and then bounced. It's sad. It may seem harsh to cut men off if they apologize after doing things like showing up late to dates or standing you up, but those are red flags that should be taken seriously. Honestly, Joel choosing Kyra just because they had a disagreement should have been the stop light for Vern.

This is why the ones who get sent home "early" shouldn't be mad or have a bad attitude about it, it may be the best thing to happen to you. If the connection isn't there, you should be glad to get out of there

V’s hair is pretty. She is a very pretty woman. Joel is a player. He was after the cookie 🍪. V wanted a real relationship and Joel played games. To be honest, most of the men on the show were playing games. The reason why Frick & Frack left early is because the men didn’t think that they could run games on them because they were talking to each other. Games!

Joel was on Vetn like "white on rice"......then he started to get "famous" and lost his mind. Vern smart , pretty and intelligent. Keep going Vern🥂🥂🥂 .

Women as much as you can, look out for the red flags. One was when he chose Kyra because he had a disagreement with Vern.

V’s personality has been consistent in her actions and I feel bad that Joel played her like that.

He was not vulnerable 😁 , he is a grown man who wanted to still be around.

You’re only clingy to someone who doesn’t like you. And I don’t agree with the she’s desperate comments. Some people do not like to waste time. He could have easily said verbatim even if it’s uncomfortable that he doesn’t want a serious relationship.

I feel V 💯. She was vulnerable, transparent and ready to love. Joel was not. This reinforced for me the need to take your time and get to know someone without sex because sex creates attachment & blinds us. You have to make these men prove themselves and show they’re willing/able to be in a committed relationship. Joel misrepresented himself and as soon as he knew he wasn’t feeling V, he should have self eliminated and not had sex with her. Joel was doing him. He used V. Having sex with V and telling her what she wanted to hear while on the show, then the mask came off when cameras stopped rolling. Although not on a dating show, IRL many of these men pretend to get the 🍪 then change up. We need to take our time ladies and vet these men. Joel revealed how these bayou boys play too many games.

I watched this and I have a better understanding but I still think Vern gave too much too soon.

Vern said: “I don’t read minds and I don’t kiss A$$!’ 🤣

And Stacy said on live that her and Joel talk everyday..... why was she acting so dumbfounded when vernesha mentioned her possibly liking him. She acted as if that came out of thin air.

Let’s be honest this show is not ready to love, it’s ready for another situationship. There hasn’t been not one married, engagement or long term monogamous relationship that has resulted in any of the remaining 3-4 couples smfh. The ppl on this show just want to promote themselves for the most part. Although there are a few who seem to genuinely be looking for love.

Joel wasn't as mature and straightforward. Girl, be done with him for ever. He's not worth it.

THE REASON WHY HE SAID HE WOULD CHOOSE KYRA IS: MEN LOVE TO CHASE, THEY LOVE WOMEN WHO DONT PAY THEM ANY MIND! MEN DONT WANT GOOD WOMEN UNTIL THEY BECOME GOOD MEN!

Vernisha didn't even have to tell this for me because I knew exactly what happened behind the scenes from the way Joelle acted on the reunion and toward the end of the show....He tried to embarrass her on the reunion by telling things she said out of anger in private conversations...and Stacey tried to make her look crazy too...I'm like stacey so they just pulled your name out of the box and said you did all of this and that...I hate people that play dumb when you confront them about some sneaky mess they did....they will try to make you look dumb by acting like they don't know what the hell is going on...she was definitely in Joelle face and asking about him and Verns relationship...and dont get me started on sneaky ass Amber...I been said she was the sneaky one in every man face behind the scenes

I'm glad that V ain't taking Joel back. He doesn't deserve her.

Let's be honest, we all saw this ending. It's no suprise🥰

Blame Joel Verneisha, not other women for his comments that he is single! Don’t put your energy into going at the women! Focus on the real person who caused the confusion! JOEL! 🤷🏾‍♀️

Vern seems to be in denial about the type of man Joel is. If he stands you up, denies you in public and chooses someone else when asked who he would pick... Clearly he doesn't want to commit to you, he'll play all day but in the end it's just precious time wasted...

Joel was stand off on camera because he has other women he's wooing.

When a man's actions don't line up with his words that is a red flag. Men will do anything to get what they want, but when it's time to have a real conversation learn to listen to what they are saying . Don't read in between the lines and make up in your head what you want to hear.

I think V let too many red flags go. The moment he let her sit around and claim that she should’ve known plans had changed without notice, he should’ve needed a search party to find her. And to say “I need to check my phone more” as if he doesn’t have 2 preteens who are not constantly on their phone was BS. He found better plans and didn’t tell her. The fact that “territorial” kept coming up made me feel like he was talking negatively about her to his friends and family. He wasn’t looking for love. He was looking for a mother for his kids. Him loving your body was not the same as loving you. When I heard Dedrick say you still love him I was surprised because how, Sway? His communication was horrible. Unfortunately I was not surprised it didn’t work. The kisses on the show between you all look forced. Did y’all look good together? Yes. But it didn’t look like a match made in heaven

If she hadn’t slept with him, it wouldn’t have hurt her so bad. Ladies, it can be done; wait until marriage! I did and it’s totally worth it. Don’t underestimate the power of oxytocin and it’s effects on women. It’s easy to bounce when a guy’s words don’t align WITH his actions IF YOU AREN’T INTIMATE (in my humble opinion). 🤷🏾‍♀️

She’s beautiful! I’ve been waiting to hear her side. I believe and understand her stance. I believe that Joel cared initially. However something turned him off. He said, it was her territorial tendencies. We also have to acknowledge his side. I would’ve loved to hear the lesson learned (personal accountability). Every obstacle in life is an opportunity for self growth.

Ladies please make these men wait for at least a few months and see if they’re worthy. Like Kris said you can’t give and share that powerful sexual energy with just anyone And if you’re a Believer than definitely wait until marriage, your body belongs to God as his Holy temple do not desecrate your body

I've said it before and I will say it again. Dating a new orleans man is not for the faint of heart. His default setting is romantic and chivalrous. Truth be told, she should have left when he stood her up

That man doesn’t have a communication problem. He has a maturity problem. He played games with Vern, full stop. Vern did miss some signs but she was in it and her intentions were genuine. She just came upon a man whose intentions were not but he pretended that they were. I enjoy her candor and tell it like it is demeanor. She seems like a genuine person.

This cast seems more messy than the last season. The ones who got voted off early is having drama with the ones who stayed later in the season

No accountability from her on her part. They're both responsible for the outcome of their situationship, not just him

He revealed 2 things to everyone from jump. 1. He was a player by the way that he talked to all the women Baaaaaaby. 2. He wanted to hit that on sight Vern.....

I like her a lot. I'm concerned for her because of her thinking. She thinks like a 20 year old. She missed so many red flags yet she's still denying all of it. Unless she can accurately evaluate the situation it will happen again and I hate the thought of that. I don't know what has happened but I see a lot of women like her who are otherwise smart, beautiful and accomplished) but lack emotional intelligence in relationships. I pray for her to grow and have more self-awareness than what she currently displays. My heart really does hurt for her and women like her.

Joel admitted her body the first time he saw her, he got the cookies and left. He got her feelings going and left her high and dry.

He liked her thickness! OTHER than that, her personality is not on point for his liking.

I'm finally willing to open my mouth about the cast this season; see this will not be Liz, why? because she decided to go on a path to have a relationship with a man without the sex. If they go their separate ways it'll hurt but not like Vern is hurting. God isn't stupid when He asks us to abstain till marriage it is for our own good and to weed out the ones who just want to tap it and go like Joel. I pray for Vern's healing and for a heightened sense of discernment and wisdom in matters of the heart

I have learned and experienced that…There are wolves in sheep’s clothing. In life. Period. It never gets out dated. Some men and women have mastered it. It’s the same methodology but uses different strategies. Emotions encourage it. Wisdom pays attention but checks emotions. Wisdom focuses on red flags; does not ignore them; will not allow them to multiply, or duplicate; but deals with them. And does NOT allow for second chances to hit its mark. It’s a sad commentary, but it’s true. You teach people how to treat you.

So if he said all those things on the reunion, why would she allow him access to her after that? There’s nothing to FT & talk about. He’s trying to keep her close bc he knows he can get her when he wants.

I believe everything she says and I never read her as insecure

How did Joel earn her undivided attention so quickly Vern should have continued to date other men esp. after hearing Joel chose Kyra.

Some men move fast in the beginning because their goal is to get you. Once you match their energy…they get scared and pull away. The key is to never match their energy in the beginning and keep yours low.

It's sad. Joel used you to get to the end. That's really all it was. He was showing interest with ulterior motives. I wish after the incident of him standing her up and then saying Kyra is who he would've chosen, she should have just self-eliminated.

Joelle definitely led her on even from the beginning the way he pursued her and the energy he had towards her I can see why she was interested in it because of how he came at her at the very beginning

Your title says it all and there goes the problem. She did not know him well enough to engage in physical intimacy on that level. He simply got what he wanted but had no real connection with her.

I think Joel liked V but simply put, “wasn’t that much into her.” Once I heard he stood her up and didn’t follow up with a text or call I was done. I think he’s a “friendly” guy. I think he’s a “courteous” guy. Sometimes (I’m not saying this is the case with V) when a woman isn’t used to that type of treatment it can be misleading, ESPECIALLY if you cloud it with sex (GOOD SEX).

Never give up the " goods" to early...sister...

Romans 8:28 she dodged a bullet but the universe is going to open up for her in a way she will never imagine. Keep smiling. Keep staying positive. Someone will choose her and it will be more than she could hole for.

Not to be rude, but I never saw them as a couple. He is not a good communicator and did not know how to tell her the truth. He really wanted to end it at the ranch, but KG did not mind his business. He basically pushed Joel to apologize to Vern. Joel made all the ladies feel special. You may not be a mean girl, but you are loud and not polished. You remind me of my dad's side of the family. They are loud, loving and have the biggest heart. It is Joel's loss not yours.

Stop sleeping with these grown boyzzzzz. Anyone can fake being a good person for a brief period of time.

Love V, but where is her accountability in this?!!? Maybe to not excuse poor behavior ( like she did when Joel didn’t call her). Maybe to slow down … she needs to take some accountability

I see a LOT comments determined to make Verneisha the dummy in this situation, and SHE WAS NOT. She came on to a Publicly Broadcasted Dating Show willing and Ready to Love. Granted we all could use more discernment, but she had no reason to believe that Joel was going to completely flip the script until he did. Joel had more wherewithal as to where he was emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. He projected where wants to be, but not where he actually is. So how can she operate accordingly under false pretenses in a space that is meant to be safe? It's not okay for people to be fraudulent. I believe Joel truly cares for Vern, and felt himself becoming serious. Unfortunately, I don't think he was there to be serious. And that is fraudulent on his part. He B-Lined straight for Verneisha and marked his territory for the other males to see. She allowed it too, but she was also satisfied with the person he represented himself to be. His switch up came all of a sudden. So that's not cool on his part. I believe Joel is better than how he chooses to act, but people only can go by what you show. He knew he was wrong and took more than his fair share of her energy. That is wrong and it is wrong for people trying to make her feel stupid for being real from day one. He could have handle the situation better by communicating clearly or even not being on the show. It's not a game show, and it's really not a typical competition. It's about finding a match not a false start. Joel knew he wasn't ready AT ALL. So he needs to do what's necessary to get ready if that's the set he claiming. Verneisha is a real woman, she goes hard in the paint for what she feels is right for her. Had Joel been fully honest I doubt she would have invested so deeply. Vern is smart and successful, not stupid. She was open to the process and came through on her end. Joel just did not show up as promised. Joel lost a real one and that is sad for him. Vern will find the man that is right for her. Joel was not a waste, they both have an opportunity to learn and self reflect and I am sure what was good and special will find its place to heal the disappointment. Wishing them both the best. Their hearts matched but not their minds. Joel wasn't honest about his.

Tell it V….. Dude was full of it! You deserve better. Move on, don’t let him reject you twice!!!

I feel bad for V her crying made me upset with Joel. but, let be honest There were some red flags that she ignored.

She's so pretty

Joel stood her up for a dinner date. Then he wasn’t apologetic or remorseful. That tells you he didn’t want her or care about her feelings. Instead of being done with him after that ( red flag ) she questioned him about it. He literally told her when he stood her up she should have realized his plans changed. Uh, HELLO! No accountability. He flipped it on her like she’s the problem for not reading his mind. He didn’t have any consideration for her. Yet, she’s on this live trying to tell us she matched his energy. No ma’am. No you did not. You should have pulled back from Joel then. If Joel wasn’t doing everything in his power to show you how sorry he was for leaving you waiting that should have been the end of him. You accepted that terrible treatment and seemed confused about it. You know what that tells men and everyone who knows the game? It tells us that you look beautiful on the outside but your self esteem isn’t as solid as you let on. You’ll tolerate being mistreated. Joel tested the boundaries and you didn’t hold yours. Men respond to action not being fussed at. You fussing at him didn’t teach him anything. You still gave him access. You are either in denial or you haven’t learned these things yet. I’m thinking you haven’t learned because when a man isn’t treating you right you lean in. I watched you do it. I watched you do it at the ranch and when he stood you up. Joel still slept in you room at the ranch even after standing you up and trying to send you home ( picked Kyra ). So, let’s not pretend that you weren’t leaning in and giving Joel privileges he didn’t earn or deserve. You don’t have any business putting a man who is mistreating you, before yourself. You are responsible for holding your own boundaries to protect yourself and teach people how to treat you. You threw all of that out the window and let him tap dance all on you, your body, and your feelings. But you want us to believe the energy was mutual. It wasn’t. You gave your power over to him trying to get and keep him and he wasn’t trustworthy. But you aren’t just a victim. You are his co-conspirator. Without your cooperation he would not have been able to pull it off. You had the signs and ignored them. Accept accountability and don’t do this again. Edit: I’m not siding with Joel. I’m trying to tell help you. Men have been playing these games since before we were born and they will be playing them when we are dead. I teach my daughter the game so she isn’t blind sided. It seems like you are still naive. Men take advantage of women who have damaged self esteem. Those women don’t have appropriate boundaries or will compromise their boundaries. You need to work on yourself so you can be immune to “ a man playing on a woman’s emotions “. When you know your worth you won’t tolerate mistreatment. Joel would have been in your rear view or treating you right.

I agree with Vern. Joel wasn't really about having a long-lasting relationship.

If I'm not mistaken this season was only 6-8 weeks, that is not enough time to get to know someone. Likes, dislikes, favorites, strengths,weaknesses, etc. Ain't no way I'm sleeping with anyone AND thinking we are exclusive... Welp, like she said, they grown grown, guess neither of them were very clear in what the expectation is/was to having a relationship/situationship 🤷🏾‍♂️

I definitely believe V was ready to slap fire from Stacey and Chris-all that I’m 40 and too old to be fighting over a man was not flying with me 😂 V was definitely more into him than he was into her

Vern does not understand men. Maybe she did not grew up around men. Joel communicated through his actions. Most men are not good verbal communicators because they are not women. Men communicate through their actions. Men also don’t like to be controlled. Even little boys act up when they are being controlled. I feel like the change occurred when she started being controlling. If she always dated multiple men why did she change it for Joel? I’m confused about that.

'I AM THE SPOTLIGHT!' That part ☝️

She definitely said a lot of people on the show were intimate and some even with multiple people🤔 I wouldn't be surprised.

Seems like the men on these shows are NEVER READY TO LOVE

Verniesha is beautiful! I love her! She deserves! And I pray she finds her love!

Celebacy keeps you safe in the dating process. Many people judged Liz however it allows you to see folks without emotions involved. Its protection. V is real and direct, not everyone can handle that. I felt like he got cold feet and he was not ready for a relationship. He liked the attention. She is beautiful and strong but he could not continue to fluff her with his charm and not be real.

I hate this narrative that Vern was clingy and doing too much. Like aint the last episode supposed to be the couples deciding they want commitment? Like to date officially? How is that too much?? I hate that Vern gets all the blame and everyone just says she should have saw the signs. Yes, that would have been cool if she did but when you're wrapped up in someone literally SHOWING and TELLING you they want you then it's time to put the blame on the liar and the gaslighter for faking it. The actions and words matched up for her (not us bc we didnt see EVERYTHING) during filming and behind the scenes. This dating culture is so toxic. Bc everyone is like she likes him more than he likes her. Yall so insistent on playing games and trying to avoid rejection that you're blaming someone for actually being genuine and honest with how they feel. We as a society shouldn't even be allowed to date until we go to therapy.

Joel was in it for the game not for love, he admitted his communication skills wasn't the best. There were some signs (red flags) that V should have made a mental note of so that she could have moved differently.

Seems V made a lot of mistakes most women do. She seems loyal to a fault. I think a lot of us saw so many 🚩 🚩 with Joel during the Show. But for whatever reason Joel changed his mind. He can do that. Hopefully they both find someone that is right for them. As women we need to hold men accountable for the relationship issues and not other women. I never heard anyone talking about V. People on the Cast were doing promotionals together. This Cast is so divided. Everybody was talking about each other. Deidrick hangs with V and he doesn’t like Stacy, Tressa or Chriss. Seems like she didn’t want people to date Joel but that’s what they were supposed to do.

Poor Vern. Going forward, hopefully she knows that a man will do as much “relationship things” as you let him without a commitment if is not assertive. You have to have them clearly say you are (exclusively) a couple just so you won’t get it twisted. It’s really easy to fall into that trap.

you are a beautiful women. just take the situation with you and Joel as a blessing in guise . god got something better in store for you. i wish you nothing but the best.

Though I thought she was being too easy I believe her. Joel is a sneaky snake. He played with her and it wasn't right. I blame him. Nothing about V seems crazy so I don't think she would just make this up. She seems like a genuine person who was ready to love.

I saw this on ig. She makes it clear about the entire situation. Joel was clearly not Ready to Love. Grown ass F boi. I love Vern. As a fellow aquarius. I understand why she spoke her speech. She is Not gonna be Lied on PeriodT. 😍

I THINK JOEL LET PEOPLE GET IN HIS HEAD AND PLAY ON HIS INSECURITIES. HE WAS DEFINITELY INTO VERNEASHIA AND DIDN'T WANT TO LET HER GO WHEN SHE WAS ALMOST DONE WITH HIM WHEN SHE HEARD HE CHOSE KYRA WHEN ASKED BY TOMMY ON THE SHOW WHO HE WOULD LEAVE WITH. I THINK HE WAS AFRAID OF HIS FEELINGS AND AFRAID OF VERNEASHIA'S FEELINGS. POINT BLANK HE'S DEFINITELY NOT READY TO LOVE!!!

V it's his loss. You are a strong black woman just like I am. I don't play.

What she hast to realize is we don’t need the examples because all they do is tell us that Joel is interested in you and he does want you, but that doesn’t mean that he wants a committed relationship with healthy boundaries. However because he is Showing interest she uses that to tell herself that they’re together. She says her self that he is showing her yes but she has yet to say what he has told her. And that’s what she has to come to terms with. They are not on the same page we know he wants you we know he’s interested but y’all are wanting two different things. It is interesting because I would think she would have learned that she needs the communication and I just go by how someone is acting because of course he’s going to be affectionate with you and talk to you he likes you but she is someone such as myself who hast to set boundaries because we are serious but everyone isn’t. I would have ignored him while I was in Miami. She either has to leave him alone cold turkey for good or leave him alone until he’s ready to be SERIOUS and tell her....because Him being nice to you and having sex with you and calling you and FaceTime in you every day does not mean that he is serious about a relationship. Know the difference.

Your first mistake, matching a man's energy, now you're competing. You're not jealous??? come on Vern it happens🤷. You are a pretty woman, but turning heads is easy, staying on his mind is another thing entirely. And for someone that's not bothered, you're doing a lot of explaining. Wish you well sis.❤

The more she talks the more she contradicts herself. Standing you up and saying he chose Kyra were your outs. V you said you would be the first couple from RTL to get married. Wth? Always available after he showed you he didn’t want you. Telling who slept with each other isn’t your business or place. When you got aggressive and in his face in the kitchen that was too much. Enough ranting V.

AJ is definitely the one rumored to sleep with multiple cast members. but that's his business. he's not ranting and raving and no one is ranting or raving about him. V must let it goooo

I’d have been out if he said “Ya heard?” one more time😂😂

Love your personality Ms.Vern. Thanks for sharing your story. Love how you handled this experience.

She should have saved the cookie!! He hit it & split!!

Non communication is a clear sign of he's not into you

I told my husband that when Vern saw how Joel was trying to make her seem desperate or thirsty she was going to be pissed. I knew it. Because would have upset me as well she is not hurting for attention periodt!!!!

Joel was wrong, but V is too intense. TOO intense. I'm getting a headache listening to her. Beautiful woman, but needs to calm down.

Let this be your first and last time getting on social media displaying your emotions. I understand what you’re saying and agree with most of it, but people will take this and run with it thinking you mad because things didn’t work out between you and Joel. Steve Harvey said it best, if a man wants you he will do everything to let you know, but if he doesn’t you will also know it! Be okay with being okay, do you and don’t be doing all this venting. It didn’t work out just move on your a beautiful strong black woman.

She is a beautiful woman geesh 😩😍😍😍

Hey Verneasha! You were my fav this season. I hope you find real love!

The Sad part is that his children needs a good stable mother figure and he is only thinking about himself. Out here on the streets acting like a 21 yr old. Old @$$ trying to start a rap career.

She did like joel more than he was into her. If she can't see that, she is blind.

🤔 So Vern didn't notice that Joel sent time with her only when it pertain to the TV show. 🚩👩🏽‍🦯

This sister wasted her time. I’m glad she’s the bigger person and even though Joel hurt her, she still maintaining all the attributes that makes her the person she is.

Joel desperately needs a therapist.

If her standards were as high as LIZ, he would still been with her now, or he would not have persued her and wasted her/his time after he got what he wanted out of her. She is grown with needs, but real dumb with it!

Absolutely agree! Honesty about how we are moving is ALWAYS the best and only policy. Dating multiples is the BEST way until you both are ready!

Joel never liked her…..he liked her body. He was attracted to her physically but I don’t think he ever respected her. It’s a difference that a lot of women miss. You can turn heads but you can’t stay on his mind because they’re multiple women that can turn heads🤷🏾‍♀️….

Immature silly males ask for your time and energy and then flip it on you that you wanted too much too soon. I've seen this so many times. They are confused and do not know who they are when they move that way. Verneisha is sure of who she is and what she wants and authentically went with the flow of the experience. Best to you Verneisha.

Vern, by her own admission, is territorial/possessive, and anyone can see she is jealous (even at the reunion)…..If she did indeed say she would slap someone, that is aggressive. I like her and I understand her…I just pray she sees her areas of needed growth, instead of only focusing on the wrongs of Joel.🙏🏽❤️

She gave it up too soon

Girl don't pat yourself too hard on the back. Producers kept you with Joel for a storyline since you were so READY to love. Joel, I feel stayed for his rap career, alledgely. He made faces to kiss you on Truth or Dare. Vanesha was the conductor and he followed. When he didn't call her for hours and stood her up told me he was not that she was incidental. Miss V saw a.crack in a door and kept pushing to open that door. Joel is not ready for marriage and I don't feel he was ready for his first marriage. I wouldn't be surprised if circumstances placed him at the altar. BOTTOMLINE TO VANESHA; NO matter what you are saying, HE WAS NOT THAT MUCH INTO YOU. You had to ask him many times to kiss you.

Vern is GORGEOUS 😍😍😍 and I agree with everything she said 💯