*Kurtis: “My heater in my house does a cool thing”* Damn dude that’s the opposite of what it’s supposed to do

Jacob Sagittarius tweeted “i want to fall in love with an alien” and i feel like that should have been included

I want the new segment to be called “who did Kurt hurt?”

kurtis is beefing with the shifters lmao. thats the funniest thing ever.

I've been re-listening to the entire podcast, starting at episode 1, and at episode 30 you say, "I can't believe that I'm at 30. I was only going to do ten episodes." And DUDE-- I'm so glad that you've made it all the way to 126, and I hope you keep going until the end of time.

unrelated but kurtis’s giggles are actually very endearing

i love how he had to remind us that his name was kurtis, as if we forgot

Kurtis was just making a joke about shifting. The East knows this...

Wishing I could fucking shift into a reality where JK Rowling isn’t a massively volatile transphobe 😩

My 7 year old brother calls christmas eve eve christmas steve and i think that should be the official name

kurtis’ mullet looks better every episode

The “New Yorker” looks like he’s being forced to say that and there is a guy with a gun behind the camera lol

At 12:38 Kurtis holds up both thumbs to the camera. This could be a hint that he is being held hostage at gun point which is why he mentions feelings of stress earlier in the video. You may notice that there is one of him, but he’s holding up 2 thumbs. That adds up to 3, which is the number of numbers in the emergency service phone number. It could also mean he’s at a house number 3. Hope someone saves him, sad to see.

Kurtis I have a possible button idea for you: you can change the puke button to Siri (or someone like Neil Breen perhaps?) saying “vomit” so that you can still use it without traumatizing frightened kurtistown civilians

The person who edited the episode video must have the same sense of humor as Kurtis bc I didn’t realize someone else was editing it until now

Kurtis laughing at his own jokes is my religion.

shifter? I hardly know her

Kurtis: I'm so fuckin cold Also Kurtis: *is wearing a t-shirt*

he’s talking about the J’s but what about the D’s? Dean, Drew, Danny

as a heat specialist, ur hot😳

the shifting segment was literally one of my faves it was so funny and this is coming from someone whos been tryna shift to a world where one direction is still together for the last two months

Every time I see Kurtis' nose ring, I think it's a booger and I get concerned. Then I use my nifty eyeballs, and I realize, "oh, that's a nose ring".

How to shift: 1- lay down on a starfish position 2- count to 100 3- take a fat rip from your DMT bong

the episode wasn’t bad, wasn’t excellent either, just very really good

I’m so honored to be watching the very first episode of Little boy Jim’s podcast :)

kurtis beefing with the draco simps is the funniest thing ever

“am i gonna apologize for the things i said ?” *inserts fart noise* me: 😭😭💀

brb bouta shift to hogwarts and buy a bacon egg and cheese on a roll

when i first saw the tik tok about the “8 month shift to hogwarts” i didn’t know what shifting was and honestly thought they worked at hogwarts for 8 months straight and that it was a critique to the bad working conditions they have there...

okay kurtis dont come crying to us new yorkers next time you need two diet cokes, a roll of paper towels and some peanut butter m&ms and you cant find a bodega in your canadian desert 🙄🤘

imagine people getting mad at kurtis because he was taking the piss out of something insane, like he isn’t a comedian, and that’s isn’t his job

“How about you shift into THAT reality?” Is a sick burn lmao

"and if it really bugs you that much, you can shift into a reality where I recorded a podcast and praised it" dude that was PERFECT

loving the weekly updates on jacob's back problems lmaooo

In elementary school this dude liked to call me weird and I would always be like "yeah I'm weird in a GOOD way" So creative right

why are people genuinely mad over him joking about shifting? I’m confused

I love the awkward pauses when Kurtis is trying to find the right sound on the soundboard 😭😂

the slytherin joke was god tier

We’re not taking about “a bacon egg and cheese” were talking about “baconeggcheesesaltpepperketchup” lmao

Not Kurtis saying the Episode episodes are his worst performing when they're one of my favorite series he's ever done!!! Noooooooo he's doing great :^(

our mayor's mullet is Very Really Good

Ayo, you ain’t from Canada if you’ve never had syrup.

Mans really said "throw it back for Sirius Black" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love it so much

That "Yes sir" needs to be a sound bite for the show

THERE HE IS😨😨 YOURE MY FAVOURITE WHITE BOY 🦶🤑🤑‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

about the shifting thing - it really doesn't go against any religion, at least as far as i know and what i've heard. it isn't a ritual and you aren't trying to summon anything negative, you're just shifting your consciousness from one reality to another. that's all it is. a lot of people don't realise that spirituality and religion aren't that different. praying is literally just like, if not the same as manifesting. you're asking a higher power to help you or bring something into your life, and in turn you work towards that goal. and it was silly for people to get mad at you for joking about the whole thing ; plenty of people joke about it, and that's fine. not everyone has to necessarily agree with something that can sound far fetched.

People try so hard to get a reason to be mad at Kurtis but there’s never a R E A L reason to get made at him

"tell me you're from new york without telling me you're from new york." "no one opens the door for me"

how did kurtis forget the fourth j in his life??? jonaton

I thought what you said about shifting was really funny, I've tried shifting and I find it to be cool, but the thought of someones parent like walking in and seeing their kid in a starfish position counting up to go to Hogwarts is hilarious

the hogwarts puns were incredible

lmao I completely forgot that calling the day before Christmas Eve “Christmas Adam” (bc Adam came before Eve in the bible) was not a normal thing... my family really did that 😳😅

im not a furnace boy im a kurtis boy. the East knows this....

You ain't from NY if a rat never stole your pizza, yessir, you know the vibe

14:36 I love how I can tell what sound effects he’s going to use based on his facial expressions

Kurtis: I have so many J’s in my like... Jenna.. Jake... Jacob... me: my name is Jordan, my moms name is Jennifer, her brother is Jeff, her dad is Jewell, my dad is John, his brothers are Judd and Joe, his dad is Johnny, his mom is Janie... and I can continue lol

jacob shao, jacob sharpe, jacob sartorious, and jake editor. holy shit

"Do your research before you say I can't slither in" DEAD

His lamp looks like donuts stacked in each other. Or I’m just hungry, idk

Hey kurtis just remember to prioritize your mental health! Dont stress yourself out too much with your videos and take a break whenever you need to. Your fans will always be here to support you

Bodegas are literally just non-chain convenience stores lmao

"an mri is an anxiety machine!" me: has fallen asleep during all of my mris

how did you guys not know about the epic spam and oreo combo the east clearly knows this.

i used to love watching kurtis but i love watching his videos even more now that i’ve broken up with my boyfriend. he just reminds me that there are some men that are lovely and don’t hate women, it’s really comforting :)

i’m actually so happy he talked about shifting😭 like i thought i was the only one not believing it

the defeat in kurtis’s eyes when he finds out that harry styles tweeted a sad white boy quote

Sending love and a jolly “Merry Christmas!” to the Early Gang!!!

ur podcasts are like . the highlight of my week- excited to watch today's episode n pretend I'm not mentally ill 😼😼

I enjoy that he uses ºC instead of ªF because I can understand it

One of this "anonymous" quotes has to be from Kurtis' podcast, if not, I'm going to be so disappointed for the missed opportunity 😂

I’m exited to see more of this pod, great first episode!

Rewatching this and hearing him talk about Nick like they don't know each other is weirdly surreal

hi kurtis. ive been waiting.

Kurtis: it's so cold in here also kurtis: wears a short-sleeve tshirt, in canada, in december

Listen. The Episodes videos are the best and don't ever regret making them lol

POV: you’re early and you’re trying to come up with something original

my dad walked in my rom while i was watching this and said ”is that harry styles and justin bieber”

Kurtis saying “we’re having fun here” aggressively = your dad bringing your whole family to Home Depot at 9am to “spend quality time together”

kurtis elucidating how his favorite day of the year is christmas eve-eve when it’s my birthday was really a pick-me-up. i feel special.

whoa… weird to hear kurtis describe nick as someone relatively unknown the first time i heard this i never wouldve known nick would be one of the main people i watch now

someone tell kurtis he can do more than 50 minute long pods and we will all listen to it

I am so happy you finally started your podcast. I bet this first episode is amazing.

Was waiting for the New Yorker hardly know ‘er joke 💔

I miss the segments with Xun. Hope he's doing well ❤

35:00 this is the perfect time to use John mulaney’s third choice “Who’s to say?”

the g in the background is driving me insane what does it MEAN

kurtis wanting to make fun of new yorkers but being terrified of getting jumped for the entire first half

hey guys happy holidays! Here’s a lil weekly check in! how are y’all asf 😩

Kurtis’s friends: Jenna and the Jakeys They’re all in a band right?

take a shot every time he says “but it’s all good”

Dude I usually listen to podcasts while trying to sleep, but I started uncontrollably laughing when you started talking about shifting and Draco Malfoy! NOT YOU BEEFING WITH THE SHIFTERS- lmaooo. Kurtis ur my favorite truly& honestly

Bro the idea of shifting is the funniest thing ever, and the fact that the shifters are coming after Kurtis is also the funniest thing ever!! 😂

Kurtis I was literally having an anxiety attack and I came here immediately and your voice grounded me enough to calm down omg ily so much Kurt

Kurtis after he says something very valid that makes a lot of sense but also shows he’s vulnerable to basic human emotions and stress: but idk it’s weird and just kinda like..yeah ok anyways idk what I’m saying it’s just kinda, yeah.

I can’t believe I made it to the first episode!

idk why but when he said "my friend jake" and smiled at the camera, I think my heart melted it was adorable also when he said were rockin and rolling and joshin and brolin

As someone who does partially believe in shifting, I found the last episode where you poked fun at it pretty funny- I mean if you can’t make fun of yourself what’s the point? I’ve always been skeptical of the subject, and it’s fun to see one of my favorite KZfaqr joke around about it yknow

kurtis connor❌ little boy jim (aka furnace🔥😈)✔ youtube commenter❌ world renowned rapper✔

Furnace - “not that good of a roast” -best pun

youtube randomly re-suggested this episode to me just now, more than 3 years after, and hearing kurtis talk about his podcast editor “jake” and his new video editor “nick” gave me whiplash LOL its so crazy to me now after all the commentary youtube lore that’s happened since