Warhammer 40k Audio Hell In a Bottle by Simon Jowett
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4 жыл бұрынWarhammer 40k Audio Hell In a Bottle by Simon Jowett
get a load of Neo here.
Available in this compilation book here: amzn.to/2JerC2G
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Thanks! Emperor Protects!
#WARHAMMER #40K #CHAOS
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@andilucas6926 4 жыл бұрын
THE VIRGIN 40K FANFIC WRITER - devoted life to gaining a comprehensive knowledge of the lore - painstakingly proofreads writing for lore accuracy - tries to write with style and psychological depth in emulation of best Black Library authors - heartbroken when writing ceases to be lore-accurate due to casual lore retcon by GW - lovingly crafts novel-length adverts free of charge, existence grudgingly tolerated by GW THE CHAD SIMON JOWETT - flicked through fluff sections in an old rulebook once, stopped when he got bored - makes shit up with casual disregard for the lore - writes in crude pulp style, throwing in 'post-coital' daemon noises for a laugh - never matched the lore in the first place, DGAF - paid and published by GW
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
lol thats about its. remeber be chad....or know someone who works at GW
@naimamirijr2278 4 жыл бұрын
Andi Lucas rofl
@earlgrey2130 Жыл бұрын
Kind of strange that you link being (overly) invested into 40k to being a virgin.. i thought we've moved past those stereotypes in the late 90ties.
@itspetahhh5304 Жыл бұрын
@@earlgrey2130 Its a meme, doesnt actually have anything to with with being considered a virgin, its more like Virgin as opposed to being a chad, usually ironic in meaning. look up the virgin vs chad meme
@captainomoplata643 Жыл бұрын
@@earlgrey2130eems like you got your buttons pushed. If the shoe fits, wear it. If you don’t like to wear those particular shoes, change your lifestyle. Don’t be that guy crying over nerd and virgin jokes. By doing so all you’re doing is validating the jokes being made. Grow a pair.
@alexander1112000 3 жыл бұрын
I’ve always liked this story. The idea that a Virtual Reality world gets invaded by demons is pretty cool. The idea that this guy could have defeated a massive demonic incursion but failed because of his pride, more so.
@tkeleth2931 3 жыл бұрын
I'm new to the 40k universe, been listening to a bunch of these stories about different factions. One of my favorite aspects about the lore so far is that every faction and individual has glaring flaws that are clearly considered strengths (or at least, fair costs in the bid for power) by said factions and individuals. It makes every one of them legitimately interesting.
@rootsnootthnute8598 4 жыл бұрын
I like these old stories "lore accurate" or not. The galaxy is a big place, everyone in it is ignorant of most of it, so minor errors regarding lore, or outdated lore, is of little matter, especially when it isn't the crux of the story.
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
yeah i give most of it a pass unless its grossly different
@Jcaeser187 Жыл бұрын
The older lore is atleast respectful to the setting and genuine. Look how they're butchering things now, it's almost like destruction is the agenda.
@Highdog_Hobbies Жыл бұрын
@@Jcaeser187 the wolftime comes
@Daimon-X 4 жыл бұрын
In Warhammer 40k universe you don't play video games, video games play you... Hell in a Bottle? Just mix vodka, spirit, whiskey, tequila, gin, sake, rum, absinthe, rakia, burbon, mead... I called this concoction the 'Exterminatus' Cheers!
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
RISE UP!
@aarnotuominen3202 4 жыл бұрын
Sounds delicious 😵
@oninteam2477 4 жыл бұрын
In the grim darkness of the far future there is the 13th Floor.
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
LOL
@bdkj3e 4 жыл бұрын
"Gave himself an array of weapons" Pistol and chainsword... There's your problem, shoulda went with an assault Cannon and than a power sword.
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
true
@MrGeneralissimus 4 жыл бұрын
Should have started with a volley of shoulder mounted missles.
@bdkj3e 4 жыл бұрын
@@MrGeneralissimus hell, might as well have been piloting a titan like the first warhammer book, its a simulation so anything goes right?
@MrGeneralissimus 4 жыл бұрын
@@bdkj3e There is not much personal glory for wannabe Space Marine in titan.
@sohrabroozbahani4700 4 жыл бұрын
who would have thought losing in Call of Duty would lead to waking up to a "man in the high castle" universe... well i guess that happens in 40K universe...
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
haha
@shazlor2626 4 жыл бұрын
Damn that was a real cool one. It's now my head-canon, the spark that ignites the fall of 'Primarch Robinek' and his legion of the 'Purged'.
@xavierhill5085 3 жыл бұрын
What a amazing story for 40k virtuality reality war.
@kennethbedwell5188 4 жыл бұрын
Yeah, this one of crazy stories I remember growing up. Terminator using a Chain Sword., A simulation engine for training.
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
ahh its a nice idea even if everything is wrong lol
@kennethbedwell5188 4 жыл бұрын
@@skywatcheradept Most of my Vylka Fenrika terminators are equipt with Chain axes.
@slacknhash 4 жыл бұрын
"Fuck the world!" "Okay!" "No, not like that."
@adamfox1669 4 жыл бұрын
Man , these are awesome. I look forward to hearing these (getting the notifications) so much. I am really enjoying the short stories. Great selection. Thank you- the emperor protects!
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
thanks! more soon
@oc8867 3 жыл бұрын
Love when you do Chaos, perfect voice acting👍😄
@sos_legio_primus9177 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the great vocalization of this story. I remember it from the '90s when it appeared in Inferno (magazine). I loved this story back then and it is still great today.
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
samee!
@muhammadjawadzahid9675 4 жыл бұрын
Love your work bro!!!
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
cheers!
@ScoriacTears 4 жыл бұрын
Nice one, Subscribed. . . Hope you got more like this.
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
yes sir if you check the playlists i have many and running some full novels. check the playlists
@loupiscanis9449 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you , Prince
@joshbrooks120 3 жыл бұрын
Love the stories! You've become my favorite 40k content provider.
@wakko151 4 жыл бұрын
This was the first book I ever bought for 40k. I still have it.
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
haha nice
@rodneynoble6046 4 жыл бұрын
Mine too. It was a gift
@jasonwoodward3697 4 жыл бұрын
Ohhh a new story.....Goodie, goodie !!!! Found the book with the Ork playing war and being corrected by the imperial general !!!
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
o which what name man?
@justinkunz8845 4 жыл бұрын
I need to know as well
@jasonwoodward3697 4 жыл бұрын
I need to view the quote again. I found it at black library and thought I saved it. I think it was something like Something of Flame or fire Volume one. Just the Orc playing with the tactical layout really struck me and I thought “ I have to read this “. It is a book of short stories
@Br1cht 4 жыл бұрын
Good one m8!
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
cheers!
@albertoruano8752 3 жыл бұрын
The Grim Darkness at its finest crazy 180
@Saurophaganax1931 3 жыл бұрын
All he had to do was sit back and theyd be trapped there forever. Not even able to return to the warp. Ya dun goofed.
@CodyFancyPants 4 жыл бұрын
Is it heretical to be aroused by Chaos seeding ceremonies?
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
yes...yes it is
@Mademian 3 жыл бұрын
you are a great narrator
@shadowsift 2 жыл бұрын
late to the party! but what a great recitation!!
@xavierhill5085 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this reading you are talent ed
@goliath1179 3 жыл бұрын
Do they have anyway to check if the initiate can accept a geneseed, or do they just figure “eh, if they live through the training the genetics must work out already”? Also ,when I heard something something getting in a suit of terminator armor and then slashing through the demons, I was as confused as I was excited.
@bobsterclause342 Жыл бұрын
This planet is why caos midevil aged them. The last thing they need is to always be on a hollodeck.
@floridaman7786 4 жыл бұрын
Just a castaway An island lost at sea Another lonely day With no one here but me More loneliness Than any man could bear Rescue me before I fall into despair I'll send an SOS to the world I'll send an SOS to the world I hope that someone gets my Message in a bottle A year has passed since I wrote my note But I should have known this right from the start Only hope can keep me together Love can mend your life But love can break your heart I'll send an SOS to the world I'll send an SOS to the world I hope that someone gets my Message in a bottle Walked out this morning Don't believe what I saw A hundred billion bottles Washed up on the shore SEEMS I'M NOT ALONE IN BEING ALONE! A hundred billion casatways Looking for a home I'll send an SOS to the world I'll send an SOS to the world I hope that someone gets my Message in a bottle
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
NICEE!
@MrTrenttness 3 жыл бұрын
🔥🎸🔥
@xavierhill5085 3 жыл бұрын
How long have you been reading warhammer I been reading for a 8 years but you are a very good narrator
@iagree6677 4 жыл бұрын
Wait wut? Did the author say "the primarch robenik?"
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
LOL he did
@iagree6677 4 жыл бұрын
@@ABorderPrince Wow wtf why?! I heard through the rumour mill that the two lost primarchs were just intellectual property of the characters creators and when said creators left the primarchs went with them.
@garrettkeith255 4 жыл бұрын
I believe the idea of the lost primarchs is because lore is written for the tt game, and they wanted to leave the possibility for people to make their own unit backstory including making up their own primarch and 2 allows for there to be a chaos and non chaos. That's just my understanding. Idk mate
@matthew92604 3 жыл бұрын
@@garrettkeith255 the truth is always the least interesting answer. GW writers added and expanded on the 2 redacted Primarchs to provoke mystery.
@commenting9618 4 жыл бұрын
I was lying in bed listening to ABP talk about post coital satisfaction :-D
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
that sounds like a you problem sir
@commenting9618 4 жыл бұрын
@@ABorderPrince Probably. I shall add it to the list!
@xavierhill5085 3 жыл бұрын
Aborder prince are you going to read demonworld.
@alexander-er8io 4 жыл бұрын
pretty sick story though.
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
yeah was fun
@paulwolfley7785 4 жыл бұрын
The Imperial Herald, I found out about it yesterday. On FB, it's buzzfeed in 40K some of the funniest shit in years
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
yeah i spoke to him a while ago. he doing good work :D
@theforlanjoker4457 Жыл бұрын
People need to like this video and comment 35k views, come on boys.
@ThatAdamIsMild 3 жыл бұрын
I got excited when Chaos couldn't see anything in the warp - Tyranids! Sadly not
@chungusdisciple9917 4 жыл бұрын
Noice
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
thank you sir
@spacecowboy8663 4 жыл бұрын
68
@harrisonrobb5252 Жыл бұрын
Primarch Robbernick?
@ABorderPrince Жыл бұрын
old lore
@konamanstudio2447 4 жыл бұрын
😷🍻🍺
@Caercutta30 4 жыл бұрын
Is anybody else very aware of their tongue right now?
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
always
@lucaonerism 4 жыл бұрын
Good story, kind of makes space marines seem like idiots though 😂
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
well he did fail
@SolStains 3 жыл бұрын
Space Marines are idiots, that why they are fun😂
@TheEyez187 4 жыл бұрын
Watching Marines live* longer in Kargon! * in his belly! Now, come on, anyone who recognizes the advert, has to admit, I won the internet for today!?!?! :D
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
O dear.....lol
@TheEyez187 4 жыл бұрын
@@ABorderPrince I'm so sorry! I apologize, but I had to!! It's still making me laugh, can even hear it in my head in the woman's voice!! >XD
@nedyse7200 4 жыл бұрын
My Liege!!! The Blue or the Red pill????
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
depends if you like that tasty steak or not
@aliveandwellinisrael7944 4 жыл бұрын
@@ABorderPrince deepest lore.
@GUMMRUCHK 4 жыл бұрын
Well that was disgusting. lmao
@sonofeyeabovealleffoff5462 Жыл бұрын
Current day necrons, Trazyn: "Nice primitive celestial orrery knock-off simulator ya got here... be a shame if someone TOOK IT." *YOINK* "WOOB-WOOB-WOOB-WOOB!!!"
@aliveandwellinisrael7944 4 жыл бұрын
Gamer, sit back down.
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
RISE UP!
@REgamesplayer 4 жыл бұрын
This writer...I mean, we complain about bad writers, but he is something else. He is in a class of his own with his extremely silly and shallow portrayal of Chaos, disregard for lore, cringe worthy monologues and many other things. Like, he got paid to do this while there are countless other people who would kill to get their stuff published like this. Someone at GW was taking a piss. I had noticed that same guy was taking a piss and at other things. I have collection of vision from Horus heresy. It is a big book of pictures and so many of them are done so badly. During this time GW really had issues with quality control.
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
i hear yo its not the best but i do what i can
@REgamesplayer 4 жыл бұрын
@@ABorderPrince Nah, I love to listen to any story which you narrate. I reserve your videos for when I assemble my models or paint them. I'm just more angry at writers who do this thing professionally, but often get lazy and do not try their hardest.
@ABorderPrince 4 жыл бұрын
REgamesplayer I know what you mean it’s frustrating sometimes but it’s not what you know it’s who you know lol
@callnitid 4 жыл бұрын
Ohh the cringe
@richardburton4625 8 ай бұрын
washing machines live longer with Cargon
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