Not only planned but meticulously masterminded to do the most harm possible to me, honestly to destroy me. He used all the information he had about me to make my every dream come true and he didn’t even let the ink dry before he staged a weekend of gaslighting and abuse and he took it all away from me while not inconveniencing himself a bit. I was blindsided and scared and of course he got the reaction he wanted so he could leave and later tell me he felt he had to leave for his own safety. He told me I had borderline personality disorder and needed treatment. Think about that for a minute. He went too far and it gave me a chance to think and start reading. I went no contact and have never broken it. The financial abuse went deep and it took me years to recover. There’s no way to know what you don’t know. These videos are lifesavers and are true and real. Waste no time getting out.

Three years later, and every word of this video resonates with me. I never thought I would get to this place during those days when I sometimes forgot how to breathe. The destruction and pain of the discard is very intentional and reflects the most diabolical recesses of human behavior. It is a perpetual cycle with an endless trail of collateral damage. For those who are just beginning this journey, you will make it. It was never you and don’t ever forget that. ❤️

They are cold , calculating, unfeeling and selfish beings. Everything Andrew said is true. The discard happened to me during a vacation, the mask slipped off and after he took 300 photos of us and made me look at them all, on a big screen. Threw me at the airport alone. After rage after rage. I paid for everything during that time. I am so happy with my life now! God bless Andrew and everyone on the channel.

I grew up with narcissistic parents and then went on to have narcissistic relationships, I thought the behaviour was normal. I never valued myself and I always looked for valuation from other people. It took me a long time to realise valuation comes from within yourself and not from a narcissistic person or anyone else.

This one hits home. Yes the discard was so horrible thing I've ever gone through, it was so quick one day we were together, next day we were in a situation where I needed him to be there for me, what happened he called someone on his phone a guy drove up he got in the car and said see you later. And he never came back, he ignored my calls and texts I was alone afraid abandoned and heartbroken. I thought about suicide I really did . But my path didn't take me there and I took the chance to go no contact. And here I am. Healing and getting better stronger. Thanks everyone and stay strong everyone.

Totally accurate word for word. My discard was certainly planned he was just waiting to recover from surgery which meant he was incapable of looking after himself. Once he was back on his feet and i figured him out - boom! Came the discard just before my favourite time - Christmas. Again true, they are like children throwing their dummies out of the pram whenever things don’t go their way. Now I’m educated, it truly was a blessing in disguise-a marvellous teaching of empowering our empathy with boundaries - they do us a huge favour! Well done narcissists - you help to make us stronger, healthier and better people . 🙏💙🙏

Yes. Planned. It is hard for people who have kind partners to understand. There was a plan and you were, "insert any fool here", is where much of the trauma and post trauma stress comes from. Wow. All those years, kids, (fake) security, suffering for the greater good (which turns out is theirs only). Sometimes, I feel my insides disintegrating. Chin up. Going outside. Sweeping the deck. Painting, writing, love will see us through. ❤️

Him at the start of the relationship: "Promise me you'll make this work, that you won't walk away, that you'll do whatever it takes to make this work". My best friend's husband a couple of months in: "If you were my daughter I'd tell you to run for the hills" his EXACT words. I feel so sorry for my replacement/s 😢 Thank you Andrew 🙏

I was discarded before my birthday in June,he played a part which would deserve an Oscar nomination!It was prepared moths before the official discard,exactly as you have describe it!Thank you,God bless you!

Absolutely! Just after my 50th birthday I found out he was sleeping with the neighbor and planned a long awaited family vacation with her and her kids. Hadn't made time for a family vacation with us in 10 years but in a 24hr period I pulled him out of her house at 6 in the morning only to find out they also had a vacation booked the following day. 25 years of marriage done. No respect for anyone but him and his agenda. Blew my 3 kids lives apart. Thanks Andrew. I'm continuing on my healing journey.

I was not exactly discarded by the narcissist but I do believe he planned a situation to test me and see how much I would put up with, however when he finally realised I would not deal with him any longer, he was shocked, it actually all back fired on him. He really should have got to know me, but was only ever interested in talking about himself.

Yes, absolutely, over three decades of silence, one word grunt replies. I was pushed out big time. Yet in hindsight, despite Near Death, I thank God every day that Freedom Rocks, and better late than never. My life now is simple and peaceful. ☮️ Tribe, never give up on yourselves. Blessings abound to each of you.❣️

Hi Andrew, Cody here coming from beautiful San Diego. I can’t express how much your videos have helped me. They are so accurate, empowering and a blessing to all of us going through these times. Thank you again and God bless 🙏🏼

I was discarded, I knew he had things planned. What did he used to say, never let anyone know what your thinking. He sold things from my house to leave, but that's ok. I got the things back, better then ever. I had an aunt in the hospital and I told him about it and boy he blew up when I needed a shoulder to cry on. He left 2 days after that. She passed away a week later and had to deal with that alone. I'm so glad it's over and I'm living for me now. Be good to yourself each and ever day, it will get better. God bless everyone 👃😁 and thank ya Andrew for the videos

I had a "friend" who did all of the love-bombing.. mind you, I had no clue about narcissism. I was new to town so I welcomed the friendship. Every time we went hiking, we ran into "old friends". I suspected I would be one of those one day, but never connected the dots. 2 years ago, I was phased out. Last weekend, after everything you just described, I confirmed I became that "old friend" and honestly, I couldn't help but laugh. She has new supply in place. Hopefully they're not as vulnerable. They treat people like last years' wardrobe.

Yes, it was planned. Coming out of the fog, I begin noticing things and when they say that once you realize you’re with a narcissist, things are never the same… it’s very true. He’s absolutely correct, once I started enforcing boundaries, and I was grieving the loss of my beautiful sister(best friend)…he promoted his sidepiece. My friend, God will never fail you, here’s what I mean: I learned everything in one night, he was in the shower, his mistress call and we had a very short and direct conversation. I look through his phone and read every conversation between him, his sister, and ‘new supply’, ie, Flying Monkeys, I was shocked and hurt. Although, I was devastated, looking back, God knew I needed closure…the call and the text messages was a blessing. We’re no longer together. You will survive this and I’m praying for you.☮️

All of your videos are Gems Andrew. I feel so much better after watching them. I feel your genuine love and empathy that is so healing. Thank you so much.

Hey 👋 Andrew hope all is well with you! This is so accurate. I was married with him for 10 years. My dad was battling liver cancer at the time I was discarded. My dad passed in 2018. My divorce was finalized a month after. The death of my father was easier to go through than the narcissistic abuse. No one will ever u understand this. I loved my dad dearly and don’t want to minimize that his death was not hard, but the divorce was much much harder. I had support for my dads death. Everyone understands death and how horrific it is. People were there for me. When It came to my relationship, until now I do not have the support for the horrible relationship I was in. No one understands how bad it really was. The lack of support I think is what makes narcissistic abuse so difficult to recover from. The way I can compare it is someone getting raped and because there is no real evidence they are not believed. A true nightmare….

"Thrown away like a piece of trash on the side of the freeway". This describes EXACTLY how I felt. In my case the narcissist told me he had planned the discard (not his exact words but that was the gist) due to something I had said 4 years earlier the first time I met him! The way he put it was that because of my comment (it was just banter and anyway I didn't know we'd end up together) which apparently he had perceived as a slight (and we know how narcissists react to those). He said my comment made him doubt me and therefore he withdrew his "love". Talk about confusion! Who goes into a relationship with doubts? It sounded like such bullsh!t that I just couldn't wrap my head around it. He had proposed marriage during the love bombing stage (really? even though apparently he saw that banter/comment as a red flag) and I told him that I thought it would be prudent to wait until we knew each other better (he was not pleased with this but said nothing just made me believe during the whole relationship that we were headed towards marriage). It wasn't until I was having a conversation with his ex best friend a couple of years after the discard (another relationship that he blew up) that I learned the real reason for the discard (although the perceived slight may have also been a factor): I had set a boundary. It's not how the friend worded it but that's the gist of what he said my ex told him. I didn't know about narcissism at the time but now it's all clear. If I look back the devaluation began after I had set that boundary (slowly and very subtly at first: I was like a frog in slowly boiling water). I set the boundary because something felt off but I couldn't quite put my finger on what. I could tell he wasn't pleased but he said and did nothing at the time (probably plotting in his head how he was going to make me pay). I remember how miserable I was during the devaluation stage and tried to have a conversation with him about it on several occasions but he would brush off my concerns and even had a little smile of satisfaction at my confusion and frustration: his plan was working (not that I knew that's what it was at the time). I now realise that he was biding his time until he had a new source of supply lined up. When the discard came I had become a shadow of my former self and not only did he blame me for the failure of the relationship (which I tried to save several times all the while he was sabotaging it) but also told me how he was going to do all the things that we had planned on doing together without me (smiling while he told me: enjoying my pain). I didn't know about the new supply yet (he hid her well). But the moment he walked out of my door for the last time I sensed that there was someone else in the picture. A few months later he rang me up (on a day that he knew was significant for me: it was the anniversary of something traumatic that had happened to me) to tell me that he was getting married (the message was that I wouldn't marry him months after knowing him but he'd found someone who would: someone more worthy than myself). I instantly realised that the whole way he had ended the relationship and was now announcing his upcoming nuptials had been/was being done to spite me. It definitely had a revenge quality about it. I wished him all the best (not sarcastically but in a way that conveyed that I had no hard feelings). His reaction was telling: he acted like I'd slapped him across the face which told me that his intention had been to inflict more pain and I didn't give him the satisfaction. It was then that I realised that he'd been wearing a mask the whole time he was with me. I was puzzled for a very, very long time and have struggled to come to terms with the fact that the relationship had never been real, that he'd never loved me and had only used me. I've since learned about narcissism and now it finally all makes sense. Btw I heard that just one year into the marriage he had cheated on her and were divorced not long after. I was told that he secretly sold the house and business (where they lived and worked together) and sprang the news on her from one day to the next leaving her homeless and jobless). My old circle of acquaintances (they used to be mutual friends but have since fallen out with the narcissist) told me I was lucky to have got away and had dodged a bullet.

~~~~~ I saw this quote, but can't recall author .... "All narcissistic relationships have an expiration date." YES!

Exactly... when I started enforcing my boundaries, the mask came off and I was discarded in the most hateful and cruel way possible. Very painful, but possibly the best thing she ever did for me in retrospect. Been a few months and still,, some days are better than others. I hope someday to find someone to share with me the things that My narc never could and never will... love, kindness, empathy, peace and joy. Things that make life worth living. I hope.

You described me at 4:55. I was devalued then love bombed immediately, so as to not to have my narc sister lose her supply. I had no idea at the time what was happening. I just thought "wow she is being really nice after I confronted her about her nasty behavior the other day. She must be reflecting and is sorry for what she has done." Except, there was no clear apology or confessing of her wicked behavior. I went through what I believe, they call, cognitive dissonance. It confused me heavily for months until God showed me who she truly was. Education of narcissism came my way, and that was it. I blindsided her. Dropped her without warning and it has remained that way until today. Several months have passed, inclusive of a few hoovers. Completely blocked in every possible way. She knows that I know who she is. It's still even hard to believe that we came from the same biological parents. One of light and one of darkness/wickedness. I'm absolutely stunned sometimes when I think about it. I think she hates the world in general for something that was done to her at some point in her younger years that no one knows about. Because of their constant bitterness, hatred, jealousy, envy etc, satan enters these people and they become of him. Liars, destroyers, manipulators, non-empathetic, extremely prideful, fits of rage etc. Maybe they were destined to be that way, when the script was written. I cant say for sure...but I believe they probably are of a different kind.

Omg, you just defined my ex narc! Everything that you said happened! I lost 18 years of my life with the psycho. I kept giving him more chances and thought that he would change. My Mother was dying on 2020 and he blocked me. We always had a breakup just before my birthday and Christmas. Now I am educated. I hate being alone now, but the alternative is worse.

How do you know 'all my life'? 😔 Where in discard for years and years. Without know.. Most crucial ever.. And thank you Andrew, you are one of the few that even get through me. And thanks for all the videos and wisdom, you provide. God Bless You🌹

Hi Andrew, thank you for this, twice earlier in the beginning of this year I did manage to stand up for myself, mostly by asking, what was wrong, why he was treating me so badly....for sure he flew into a rage and there was no resolution. As you said, I dared to do this, I had said too much and so I could not remain; he was becoming increasingly physical in the abuse and although the discard really hurt, it was a real shock, it was almost a relief to be free of him, at least I was away from physical harm. Now I know I'm not crazy and I can begin to follow the healing path thanks to your teaching. 🌻

You nailed the nail squarely on the head “ Sunk their fangs into you “, so true I couldn’t help from laughing. Why ? You know why because that’s one of the thousands of things that a narcissist does to an empath. Funny thing is when they meet up against another narcissist there’s a sonic boom 💥 evil against more evil. At least I see it that way. Thanks Andrew always bringing much needed survival information. 🙏 namaste.

Hi Andrew, great video as always and thank you so much for all your wisdom. Yes, my narc husband had been planning the discard for months, kept throwing it in my face expecting me to beg him to stay each time. He got nastier and even more bitter towards the end. It was a relief when he actually did walk out. I never knew what Narcissism was until a month before he left, I really thought it was just 'him' and I put up with the mental and physical abuse thinking I could make him 'better'. It was a fog of crazy thinking on my behalf. A year and a half later I miss the love I thought I had and I miss the future I thought I had, but I don't miss him. I have a lot of work, self healing still to do but I'll get there. Thanks again for been there for us all.

Thank you again for a very informative video. And thank you viewers for some great comments. The reason we get into these situations is that we as empathetic people cannot fathom the level of hate brewing in the narcissist. This allows them to take full advantage of us and our resources until they see us as “played out” that is when the discard happens. They have by that time found others to prey on.

Thank you Andrew for giving great first hand insight on narcissistic abuse. Too many men/people suffer silently. Your strength is contagious.

Before I go any further I am only a few seconds in and I have to say yes the discard was planned. I hope you say the same thing Andrew, because you are the first person that i listened to from Feb of this year, and made me aware of what a narcissist is. I now feel that i kbow how they work, thanks to you. Now I'm going to listen to the rest of this video.

I already triggered myself! Tears flowed for a few minutes. I have been sleepless for the past 24 hours. I'll take a nap after you finish your video. Yes I walked away and Thank God, I did! It ended December 31, 2021, January 1, 2022. The holiday did not matter to either one of us. I know that after he blew up, I put my immediate plan in place and walked out that Door. I really wanted a cat in the beginning!!! Family said No, it will tie me down. What the heck else could I do! Just wanted to live my life again!! Thank you Andrew! Of course he knew, I could feel it the whole darn time!!!

I have been so busy! This is a good thing! You know Andrew the narcissist ran me off many times. I finally got fed up! When he quit running-me-off. I happen to view one of your videos on narcissism, but I couldn’t leave right-away until a couple of months later.I was trapped, but when I had the opportunity I exited. I do want to say that it took me two years prior to viewing one of your videos to detach from this demon and or demons in this man. When I viewed one of your teachings, it was like I was psychologically etc. detached and prepared to leave that toxic relationship. He didn’t expect it. I’m glad for perfect timing ⏱. There is a time and a season for everything. Great teaching Andrew! Enjoy the rest of your day!

Thank you Andrew for the enlightening comments. My discard by my Narcissistic spouse of 39 years was official yesterday. We signed a divorce agreement. Months ago I thought was a tragedy. Yesterday I felt a true sense of freedom, closure and a peaceful life ahead without toxicity. My Ex Narcissist did me a favor to divorce me. Now I’m healing and it’s a blessing. So, if I May, yes being discarded crushes your spirit, but it’s also a gift to start a new life of serenity and emotional healing. God Bless the work you do for us empathetic victims. Now we can become victors of a new beginning in our life 😊

This is the Exact time I needed to see this. I actually have just been Dropped, it's one of my adult daughters, and it's happened just as you've said. I feel like it's been "Engineered" To happen NOW. She was just building towards the actual Cut Off Day, and now it's happened. I've been put through All of the Devaluation stages, step by step. Pain is Immense. Thankyou Andrew. You're helping me out a Lot.

I'm 49, knew NM always plays the martyr when talking about me and my wasted life, was worst kid in the world, oh how she suffered due to my failure, rebelling against the abuse. In essence I am the unforgiven. Last week I was rocked as I realized that I'm still being abused and thrown away regularly. I thought it was over since I'm nearly 50. I learned they won't get better, they never loved me, I don't even have my own identity just who they claimed I was. Both parents are narcs and jointly abuse me for their entertainment. I'm NC, beginning to wake up and escape the fog. Thank you for your videos, they really help.

I now have learned, I am standing my own ground, I will not go backwards ----->Only Forward and I will Heal Ty Andrew! ✌💗💞💗🙌🙏🙌💫

By the time the discard stage happened which some call the reverse discard stage came about. When I finally gave up on the marriage and called it quits, I stop caring. I stopped giving this person the attention they desired. I stopped entertaining their shenanigans, and begin the silent treatment of indifference. Which I am sure led to a few narcissistic injuries. My ex narcissist just assumed that I would never leave the marriage no matter how toxic it became and responded by playing the victim role, telling flying monkeys/enablers that she tried(trying meant to her, conformity on my part) blaming the demise of our marriage on me. Then came the hoover stage. Suddenly this person was spending a lot more time at the house(Initially, we were still living in the same household). This person tried using sex a few times to breadcrumb me, etc. which worked in the past but was no longer working now. That said, once one has seen through the fog, what you see beyond can’t be unseen. Her desire to return to what was, was no longer a possibility. Oddly enough, I was still open to savaging the marriage but quickly realized within a very short period of time that it wasn’t possible due to the fact that she was still looking for conformity, and not compromise

I dared to answer back and refused to play their game , and the result was hatred towards me by any means they could possibly use . Never knew a person could be so awful and evil . They are completely void of feelings and compassion.

Man, you are spot on. Once you said vacation I was hooked and threw you a subscribe. 2 days after getting off the plane from a week at Disney, I was discarded. One whole year of planning and saving money just to be tossed aside for a new supply. This was 3 months ago, and I never knew what a narcissist was, thought it was just someone who loved to look at themselves. Your channel opened my eyes, and you are helping me get over the fact that I am not worthless, and that I will thank you forever!!!

Hitting all the videos today. I say the discard is a blessing but it’s because I have to overcome this feeling of not being enough. She planned it out completely and it’s the biggest betrayal. These videos are so helpful & Validating. Gives me so much hope!

Oh my, yes Andrew! I am many years out of my narcissistic relationship, and I can see that the discard was always planned, I was a means to an end. I was around to raise the children and make him look like a wonderful family man, maintain the facade he was creating. When our first two left and our third was old enough, I no longer served his purpose of having me around. I left the relationship, but only after I found out he was chasing other women. He had not been working for a good period, because of his health and the fact that he embezzled for the company he had worked longest for. Now, of course he denied it, but I found out differently after I left. I was his sole means of support, and he was looking for a "sugar mama". That was my breaking point. I can look back on this whole relationship, now that I am in a safe place, and see the reality of the situation, but it was gut wrenching at the time and a good while afterward. I hope that everyone who is at that beginning place, as I once was, knows that it will get better and, like you say, put yourself first, second and third and do not think that it is selfish to do so. Taking care of yourself is the best thing that you can do for the other people in your life. A stronger you makes your children stronger, makes you a better friend, makes you a better employee, makes for the happy life you deserve. Thank you, Andrew, once again, because you are helping me become the person God means for me to be. I look forward to your topics every day because they make me think and validate the things that I have learned.

Mine absolutely did plan it. She waited until I was at nearly the lowest point of my life after losing my job, waited until I was literally in the car on the way back from a vacation that had I loved and desperately needed to reground myself, discarded me like a piece of trash and then insisted on radio silence. All this even though we were twin flames who constantly flirted, completed each other's sentences, and had a thousand inside jokes. She was smart, beautiful, and amazing, but in the end, an empty shell. I could tell something was wrong the entire relationship, but I stuck around because she kept luring me back in whenever I would threaten to leave. Eventually I stood up for myself and asked about her motivations for a lot of her poor behavior, and boom - the discard that was planned to be as hurtful as possible. They're not fully human, these people. They've blocked off emotional empathy, and without that, they can never experience true intimacy or love. More than anything, I feel sad for them.

Every word you say relates exactly to my situation. When the discard happened, I didn’t know what happened to me. Now it all makes sense. Thank you, Andrew. God bless you.

Yes, absolutely. Every single step.

The discard was the most devastating experience of my life….and I just barely made it with my life. Thank you Andrew for sharing your knowledge. I’m learning from your videos and some others about Narcissist and what happened. It has helped tremendously.

Oh Andrew, this was a tough video because my discard from my covert narcissistic father started happening 6 weeks after my mother died. I was 64 years old and I am 67 now so in the length of this father daughter relationship it was not that long ago. My mother truly loved and cared about me and my father did not. The discard plan was in place for after my mom died because she never would have accepted a discarded relationship for me with my father. At the time of the discard I still didn’t understand that dad was a narcissist just that our relationship was always very dysfunctional (I took the blame upon myself unfairly and always forgave him or made excuses for him). When I was discarded I just couldn’t get my head around it- how could a father do this do a daughter of 63 years. I cried, grieved for a year. He is close to death, 95 years old, there’s been no contact for 3 years+. When he dies I will not cry or grieve, I’ve done that. He wants no funeral, calling hours, memorial etc. he has turned his side of family against me, no one has tried to reach out at all. I have a wonderful husband of 40 years and 3 wonderful grown children and many friends, they receive my love and attention. He is very wealthy, his final punch in the gut will be the denial of an inheritance in his will for me. I never wanted money only unconditional love. 12:55

My X and all of her Friends and Family were ALL Narcissists, and at the darkest point in my Life, she threw me out like yesterdays trash!!! I didn't have a chance! Whether or not she had them All in her ear is NOT an excuse for her treating me like that. Some of My own Family are just the same, giving me a place to stay was only so they could manipulate me, or use me for their benefit. When I learned this, we no longer speak and I will no longer listen to the pointless conversations or do the things that I was kept around to be used for... Eyes Wide Open...

The slightest injury we cause the narcissist will result in them attacking us with great vengeance in a premeditated way.. I’ve seen it and I just experienced it..

Andrew, thank you so much. I got the holiday discard. #TRUTH. 🙏🏻❤️

They say all good things must come to an end....Thank God all bad narcissistic relationships do come to an end. Not easy but you will be happier than ever.💟☮️💗 Think about that for a minute🤔 ..... really think about that for a minute.🤔🤔😁 God bless you, hope you have a wonderful day Andrew!🇨🇷 🏝🏖 ☀️❤️

Its my whole family,I ran away to new zealand,married a kiwi my family did not like him.,marriage was very abusive emotionally, keep down with no money...my children growned to treat me badly by there father, because I would not go back to him.the family got involved, behind my back ,my mothers 3rd husband.and paided for my kids to visit back to the uk when my kids were 18yrs,thay never came back.thay have been away over 20yrs..so I was discarded, and am alone .....when I had money thay were intouch,...,and sending them presents. .so now I love myself,...no contact from them.done lots of healing on myself.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

My narc love love loved me ( convincing). After 5 months Started to be evasive, vague, etc. & I called him out on it. Didn't know what I was dealing with. I broke it off. The love bombing that followed was unbelievable ( couldn't live without me etc). Fell back in. He was great for 8 months when the old behavior resumed. I'm a spiritual person who follows no organized religion. He belongs to a church that I feel is hypocritical. Here' s the rub. He wanted me to join. I declined. He said the Elders told him to delete me. But he would vouch for my character..? 2 months later he discarded me w the excuse that he had no choice. My take is,it was a plan to destroy me from the minute I last broke up w him. I just stared at him cooly & said "what a relief". Don't think I 've heard the last of him. No contact!!! Doin ok

As I heard somewhere is that there was a mental discard looong before the actuale one. It is a horrific heartbreaking experience. Still healing after 2,5 years since discard...Been studying narcissisme since then. It is so sneaky and vile and subtle, unless you deal with an overt grandiose one... I wish everybody here lots of healing in time and finding ourselves and having a new life and world! Love to you all....you are not the only one going through this 🙏💜💜💜

I love you, too Andrew. Thank you for your unwavering focus and compassion. I'm not sure where you get your stamina but we are so grateful!

Yes 2 years out healing and moving forward worst experience of my life. Didn't know these people existed coming out of a 30 year marriage, I know now. Didn't need it. To me they are not even human. But the karma is that they have to live their lives like this never knowing love, that would be hell on earth. They were born a clean slate and do to poor parenting they end up like this. What a life of hell for them and anyone that crosses their path. I would say moving out during a pandemic qualifies for an epic event. He discarded me on Good Friday.

I hesitated to watch. Yes, I was discarded-but- I had also been praying for divine intervention as I wasn’t able then to just walk away. So it was a blessing in disguise. Thankful for it now.

I started to see the pattern, and began plotting my escape. (Slowly backing away) Didn't know it was called discard until I learned about narcissism over this past year or so. However ☺️ Life is awesome without the narcs. Rather live the life of a hermit than put up with even a fraction of abuse!💯

Yes that about sums it up Andrew. Everything you said is true. The cruelty of these People is astounding. For me as soon as i started to put boundaries that's when it started to go downhill. And his attitude got worst. So i am sure that as soon as he understood that i would not put up with his bullshit anymore , he started to plan the discard. Because the signs were there. But i did not follow my intuition. Now i know better and i try to live my life according to what i feel inside. And believe me , it works. Better late than never right! Thanks Andrew super video and i agree 💯 Enjoy your day. 💙💙😘

Andrew, you have just walked in my shoes, thank you bless you, you help so many people with your wisdom devine light to you always

I got away from the narcissist first! He didn’t get a chance to discard me! He was the biggest loser I ever met in my life!

He was planning it well in advance of his discard of me, his wife...and my coworker and someone I treated as my friend turned out to be the new supply...Being discarded has been one of the most difficult things I am and have been going through, not to mention trying to understand the betrayal of someone I trusted. The pain the narcissist puts us through in the relationship, and then in the discard is completely unfathomable to those who haven't had to experience this type of relationship. Hour by hour, day by day ..... we are not alone xo

I am not proud to admit that I actively took part in my ex-wife's discard of her boyfriend at the time. She was still living with him, but had me fooled that he was the psychotic, crazy, and aggressive one. Surprise, surprise- the trail of destruction continues to follow in her wake. I wish him nothing but the best and still feel bad for the role I played. A friend once told me a saying that made me feel a little better: "when you're wearing rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags"

You are 100 right about all of this. My ex narc discarded me every time I wouldn't give him money. He always demanded money. He was entitled as they come.On top of it all right after my dad died he told me karma killed my dad and then said he didn't need me because he had someone else. He ofcourse tried to compare this person to me. He did this many times throughout our relationship.He loved to try and triangulate me in order to try and devalue me. He was as evil as it gets in this world.

I believe you are right I was on the edge of a career break though after 10 years of struggling ,at the last minute my wife not telling me took off with my 4 small kids it's been over a year and no answers just more expectations on me I have been going to therapy for almost the whole year she has been gone and I fought the reality she is gone it makes no sense when I needed her the most she betrayed me along with her toxic enabler family . This is unreal unbelievable that someone who says they love me does all the things you describe in your videos "UNBELIEVABLE" but it has happened and keeps happening. I am learning about things I with did not want to exist but thankful I am learning . I could do so good for us but she and her family won't allow it. Your channel helps thank you. I am realizing I can't do anything more to fix this and I will never really understand this but I am realizing I just have to accept what is and move forward on my God given purpose. I really am concerned about my children please pray for me to find the right path for me and my kids she is not coming home.

Aaniin Boozhoo! (Hello) Andrew! My ex (narrsasist) unfortunately lives in my building. When I go outside he watches me from his window. He also tries to bait me for a reaction. This has been going on for over a year, to no avail. I ignore his tactics and continue on with my life. I have to admit, I am quite exhausted from the whole ordeal. I am so fortunate to have mental health support through this, as well as your channel. I am grateful. G'Chi Miigwetch (Thank you)for what you do!

Hello Andrew. I almost didn't listen to this video. I discarded him! I took so much abuse that I couldn't take it anymore. The look on his face was SHOCK & DISBELIEF, then I left. This was over 11.3 years ago and I never spoke to him again. No closure, nothing! After 5 years of being used, hospitalized, almost dying, I had ENOUGH! As a human being, you can only take so much, spend so much money, and almost losing your life, that was the END!

Thank you brother Andrew🌹 Blessings to everyone going through a turbulent episode in life🙏💕

that is true my discard was quite and man out of the blue hurt me to my soul and down in my health so believe Andrew what he talking he did this to me and trying to hold it inside was so crazy and the new person was right there why she smiles at me like just was not a person pain was al over me but Im coming out of this thanks to this man God I glade he's in my life so glad Thanks so much Andrew so much

I just get such a kick out of that “knowing look” you give after introducing the topic 😅! Thanks for all the great content.

Tbh as I grow everyday the discard was indeed a blessing and the peace I have in my life along with a fresh new start is so beautiful. To anyone going though a discard, or wondering why the narc isn’t hoovering , trust me it’s not a bad thing at all. It just means they know you are on to them and if they do try and come back please blockkkkkk at all cost.

Yes, I let him in to share in my daughters death anniversary. He told me my energy was off and he discarded me, my other daughters without a word. 6 months later tried to Hoover. That did not go well for him. Fueled me to be brave to dig deep and heal self. I’m not looking back now. The beautiful moments, they weren’t real, but my ability to love despite loss..is. I’m finally proud of myself.

Yes Andrew mine was at Christmas an it went on for weeks as I was in the fog Iv never been treated so bad in my life it was the worse feeling ever an the nark was enjoying every minute of my pain I'm been healing now for 2 years I still can't forget tye feeling an emotional 💔 pain but I'm at a point now I pray for the nark not for her but for me so I guess there is progress thank u Andrew I'm a long time follower of you Steve from London amen to you all

Hello I hope everyone is doing well! I have a two fold question for anyone or everyone please. I know the narcissist is fully well aware of all the nasty terrible damage they have created and caused.But do they actually know that they are a narcissist or is it just what they do time and time again and really don’t know that, this is who they are? Did she know getting into our relationship that… “im a narcissist and hopefully he-meaning Me, never puts it together and figures me out? I went through all of it, throughout the 5 years together. Just like most of us here. This is my exact story and experience. It feels like mine was the exact model used for teaching what narcissistic abuse is! Today I’m 7 months no contact. Doing better than I ever expected to be at this point and it’s because of everyone in this community! So much love and support ❤ And as always. Great video and message Andrew!

We were childhood sweethearts..married young.. should have known but didn't know him at all.. I remember asking " can you see us growing old together "? This is after I started realizing what a sick individual he was..actually was making me physically sick.. He wasn't taking care of his health, had no care for anything, always gone, couldn't get ahold of him, constantly lying, money disappearing and more..needed to figure out what was going on. I decided to place a recording device in the vehicle, a perfect weekend, Valentines weekend..He was MIA for 3 days..after he returned with his wild story, still wanted to believe him but after listening to the recording my eyes were opened. So thankful I went with my gut instead of heart this time..he might have still been stringing us along eventually totally destroying kids and I or worse...listen to your gut even if your heart says no! Best decision ever made..its been tough but my children and I are now flourishing..Thankful more than ever...we are so much happier without what we thought we could never live without..hope this helps someone, don't like being so open but maybe someone's going through something similar..felt I should share..it will be ok...❤️

And the fact that they know....AND tell their flying monkies and adult children about their true intentions and lack of feelings for us, explains a lot. The "fog" we feel because everyone else knows, but we don't know. Those people seem distant...for no good reason. Her daughter once said " mom's been stiff-arming John their whole relationship" BTW....that daughter Devin, is also a narcissist. A little mini-me of her mom. I watched her relationships end 3 times.....now, she's marrying some poor guy who has NO idea what he's getting. Aaarghh...i could go on and on and on........ We are all better off without our ex narcs. The pain we went thru to get here tho...... Lucky to have survived it. Namaste.

BLESSINGS It's sad to say but once you find out who they really are and the tables turn the narcissist ends up being the Joke this is after you realize that you were the joke but God's Grace is and always will be for the righteous, and for the ones that gain back there strength and courage I wish you all the best in going forward ✊❤️🙏

Yep, mine was definitely planned. I don’t know that the specific _date_ was, but he once told me that if I wasn’t autistic he would have given up on me a long time ago. Touché… if I wasn’t autistic, I probably would have given up on _him_ long before I did. He chose to do it the day after Easter. 🤷‍♀️ Maybe I’ll celebrate this year… the day that marked the beginning of my BEST life! 🎉🎉🎉 Great video today, Andrew, thanks! Love you! XOXO 😘💋🤗😉😁 Enjoy the rest of your day! My friends, I hope you all have had a WONDERFUL day! You are ALL LOVED!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Hello Andrew and everyone. I’m pretty sure my ex saw a lot of these videos but kept it to herself. Always praying for me. Being condescending. I guess that was just another manipulation to move the focus onto me most of the time. I was discarded almost 3 months ago and this entire year has been weird. Especially the final week. Some gaslighting which I’ve never seen up close or in someone I loved and cared about. The childish toddler baby immaturity was a bit fun but also very infuriating. Making a wall between us with her pillow... Taking my notes and flipping them upside down. Such a waste. Clearly wasn’t thinking straight near the end. I know I wasn’t.

thank you so much Andrew here I am 68 and I was dump by narissist I didn't even know there was such a thing but he was a real one....how sad he always had old girl friends on line talking to me....I was blessed he is gone and your a blessing to all of us thank you

Discarding the Narc and/or your toxic family is the greatest act of self-love you can do. I am honored, humbled, and praise God for the opportunity to do so.

🙏🍁💜" people who don't want to acknowledge that they harmed you will always claim that you are being manipulative for expressing your hurt"- kalen Dion🙏☀️🍁🔥🕷️🦊🍂🌸🌼🌻🏵️🌏🐾🐾

Yep. My discard came because the other supply gave him an ultimatum. The discard occurred 4 days after the anniversary of my son's death. And in the middle of my dad's last 18 months of life (cancer)

yup exactly as you described, I've been discarded one really big time, then multiple times thereafter. my female friend "ended" things, then one month later she begs to come back. I let her in and she devalues me all over again and the vicious cycle repeats. I'm still dealing with her wrath " I don't love you so much these days Rover"... coming from a girl that claimed I was the love of her life for Months. EVERY time I give her the cold shoulder she begs for me to let her in and I give in... I guess I'm codepependant. I hate this, it's a one way friendship and it's so hard to escape it. A part of me is still in love with her which makes it way more difficult to let go.

Was getting a house with my wife and my mom and at the last minute mom threw me and my wife away and said house wasn't gonna be mine and hers anymore. She made up lies and then threw me and my wife away again. We are finished with her now. She burnt her bridge with me for the last time. God bless her and I pray for her and love her as my mom but I'm completely done with her and healing now. Her narcissistic lifestyle sucks but she's to the T like you explain. My sister is now ner new person to use. And my brother. She started fights between me and the rest of family. Just so she could think she won.

Wise words Andrew! I1m really curious your opinion about anger, "revenge" (no, you won't simply walk away act like nothing happened after I had to walk through Hell because of you). Simply put: basically they raped our souls. I agree that no contact/grey rock is necessary for a period of time. But do we have to affraid of these creatures for the rest of our lifes? I don't think so. In my case the narc was with me for 3 months, she triangulated me with her ex (she was with him 6 years). Of course I had the love bombing stage(she came home, she searched this for her entire life, she found a treasure, etc) and I fall in her trap. She "wanted" to move in to my house (she lives with her mother, in her mom's rented one roomed studio apartment, they share a room), she "wanted" to start a family, having kids, etc. She took out a loan to pay her part for renovating my house(of yourse it didn't happened), so everything seemed ok. So after the discard (out of nowhere she said she loves her ex, packed her stuff and she was gone in 5 minutes) she went home an told her ex, that she broke up with me. Funny thing: there was no reaction. Another funny thing: she claimed she was "confused" and my reaction was to pour all my hate on her. Consistently. For around ~2 months via text and email. It caused her a narcissistic collapse (she's 31). Then although she blocked my from her social media (facebook, instagram) she was not careful enough with her privacy settings so I had acces to her list of "friends". So I sent them a couple of screenshots of her emails when she states that she lied to me, deluded me, caused me not just emotional but financial harm, that she not just acts like a whore, she's basically a whore, she played down a role as a decent human being, she fall between two stools(of course she dosen't really care), that she's not worthy to even lick the shit from anybody's soles of their shoes, etc. My point is that I still not think that was enough. I'm very well aware of legal troubles that's why I didn't confronted her in person(yet), on the other hand currently I'm aware that it's not 100% sure that I could keep my calm in an interaction with her. So my question is: how to manage this hatred?

Absolutely 100%

He didn't just discard me, he discarded our son (which is why it was even more heart wrenching); but I am well on my way to healing and understanding narcissm is actually helping me understand everything better. We dodged a bullet 🙏🏻

God bless you. It’s been three weeks since my wife left and even though I tried everything to make the marriage work, she seemed hellbent to destroy it. I never thought she was a narcissist. But having researched it with so many of these videos, she checks every box.

Reactive-abuse is very real and most don't even know what it is, when you realize what it is you feel so much better because it is a form of self-defense.

The discard being planned is such a hard thing to accept, especially because it's my father. I was adopted too. But some things have come to mind in my life recently. The second I moved out and went to college, whenever I would call home my dad would always say, hello stranger. I always thought he was just joking around but the more I look back on it the second I left his house was the house was probably when he discarded me in his mind. I started noticing little things like any of my belongings were thrown away. My room was given away to another sibling, I had to sleep on the floor when I went home to visit. Just little subtle things that said, you don't have a place here anymore. But it took 20 years for the discard to actually be made known. When he told me not to come to the 50th wedding anniversary of him and my mom. How do you accept that your own that your own father rejected you? I know the only answer for me is that my heavenly father has never rejected me. I am an adopted member of the kingdom of heaven.. That is my solace :)

I love how you hit the nail on the head every time. Sharing the knowledge that you learned is giving us our power back. I believe what you have been through, really makes you a great teacher. Thank you for taking your time to help so many others.

Hav been discarded finally in may 2022,not able to cum to terms,remembering all d innumerable promises n lost 7 and half yrs,emotionally n financially too,don’t know wat to say or feel,only recently i realised he is a Narc from 2 months or so wen i accidentally came across Dr.Ramani and since den hav been following others videos too on Narcissism,understanding now clearly all d hell i went thru of y n wat

Eight weeks since leaving. It’s been the best thing to restore my mental health

The discard and the mask coming completely 100% off is indeed a traumatizing experience.

Omg, the way you describe it is exactly my pattern with my narcs. I can see it so clearly now. I can't believe I "bought" their crap. 🙄 Time for some self discovery....

Great content

The discard was the most painful to understand. I wasn't prepared I felt like he just killed my soul... I have to go through the most painful acceptance.. 4mo.later I'm still at the process of moving on one day at a time. Leaving the past and never looking back.

He discarded me when our son was 7 weeks old. He was no longer being treated (by me) as the golden child, because I then had an actual child to care for and spend my time and energy on, so he simply walked out the door and into the home of another woman and her two children. He worked with her so as you said, I'm sure he had been grooming the new supply for a while and definitely smearing me in the meantime. Now it's all so clear, they are so predictable, but at the time, it was soul crushing for me. However...now I thank my lucky stars every single day that the leech is out of my life. Thank you Andrew :)

Thank you so much for bringing this to light, Andrew. It's the NPD that cause them to behave this way. Before this, I used to analyze all sorts of reasons. However, there are many others who are healthy mentally that react in different manner. Only then do I learn. They are people who despise God. Only love the labels but don't want to practice what they preach, or appear clean but do something dirty behind. Have a wonderful day and blessings to you 🙏🏻🎉

Definitely….favorite holiday! I was married for almost 9 years. In the beginning of the relationship, there was love bombing, but he actually left me, cut off contact several times. I was diagnosed with PTSD by a therapist. I was a mess! I kept going back with him, against the advice of family and friends. About 2 years ago, he started texting and gifting my adult daughter, his step daughter! My youngest daughter, found the string of text messages. For years I listened to how much he hated my family. It was an ordeal to see my grandchildren. Finally, right before Samhain, he told me the Dia De Los Meurtos display I had “offended him”, and forced me to take it down. I left December 5, 2023. He sold my baby grand piano! I retained an attorney. I am thoroughly and definitely through.