Yeah

fr

I walked into my first therapist's office and said something like that, and she said, "Well, why don't you just do it?" ARRRRRGH. Not one of my 5 therapists EVER helped me identify much less feel much less process my emotions. What the hell

​​@@jennw6809that sounds like a terrible therapist? Or were they trying to ask you what is stopping you? Either way badly done! Have you found something to help now? I like Tara brach RAIN meditation and the app called "how we feel" for noticing & learning to distinguish emotions.

Ikr! I can plan out my day to an accuracy of about 2.5 minutes, everything planned and intentional, and even succeeding at one of those days would be revolutionizing. But while it's plausible, while each task is easy and 100% physically doable, I have never been successful at following through. Rarely, I'll do some of the work, but never as planned. It's not even setbacks or surprises. If there were setbacks or surprises, which there 100% shouldn't be, I never make it that far. Something in my head makes what should be easy become impossible, and it sucks so bad.

Im really scared for my own life, and for that ive barely empathized for others. ive been cruel, to others and myself.

@@r3i960 how are you a month later friend?

@@TheKoloradoShow nothing changed, im just living on. idk if i should belive in miracles.

@@r3i960pray to God, my friend. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you and help you. May God bless you.

Sending you kind thoughts and emotions ❤ hugs

He´s spying on us. I knew it.

He is a witch.

They should teach it at school

Good for you! Im happy this video could help you friend! I had the same experience about 3 weeks ago with a Dr K video. That video definitely helped me get out of my slump.

@@thisisntallowed9560 nah they're too busy labeling students by their grades and giving them mental issues

Same, I think we get burnt out. Still didn't figured out a solution after 9 years of therapy.

Maybe stop before being exhausted. This is a marathon, nor a sprint

Same-ish. I would like to think I'm pretty aware of my emotions, though of course it's hard to say since I might just be unaware and not aware of my unaware-ness, if you will. But regardless I have no idea how to regulate my emotions; it seems like it requires some level of self-compassion to do that and I only have self-loathing. Nowadays the self-loathing doesn't even help me do things in spite of feelings, I just don't care anymore and do whatever I feel like doing, which is usually various distractions and addictions.

@@user-sf7fm1bi1p This hits home, but let's say same-ish, I get you can't compare 2 lives. There's not much I can be aware of tho. I feel like dying all the time since I quit antidepressants and tranquilizers on my own. I'm struggling for almost a year now, took them for 4, my brain is ripped out of my skull, I want to feel things, and rarely I can cry, but mostly I don't even bother. Doing things by emotional drive never worked for me, I was always too depressed to care. The self-loathing is non stop, because I know my life would be better if I made a left turn somewhere specific. So yeah, thank you for sharing your mental state, I was happy I could share mine. I appreciate you, and hope, really badly, that you find a way out. This is not the end of my replies, I just wanted to tell.

@@jsunn315 Damn, honestly sounds like you have it way worse than me! If anytime you become aware of your emotions you just notice that you feel like dying, that's pretty awful. I hope that you, too, can find a way out!

how do you love yourself?

wow, gg

@Anu I don't know If this answers your question. I don't love my self, that went a away a time ago. However I like certain parts of my self and I would like to believe that if I find small things that I actually like about myself however silly or arbitrary they may be, I think I will at some point start loving my self.

what did it feel like to come out of it? like how do you know you were repressing emotions? and how did you actually come out of it?

Hi, how are you doing now?

Stop trying to manipulate people. That might help. Changing your behavior to get a certain response out of them based on your perceptions of what needs to be done is controlling and dishonest.

I also struggle with this. Something small that won’t completely fix this, but did help me is just learning to identify that and being honest with others like “I’m feeling myself feel compelled to “cape up” because my brain is telling me you’re in a similar emotional place that I find myself in alot. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or feel burdened. I want you to know that these are my own personal issues and don’t really have much to do with you. What does have to do with you is just my desire to show up as a good friend. What I’m trying to say is I want to show up authentically while also leaving space for the possibility that if there is some stuff you’ve been having a difficult time with I want to offer support along that line. I am also wondering if you had some ideas on how you would prefer to be supported?” Obviously this is just like a loose script. I did use therapist-y language, which some people can be uncomfortable with. The main goal is to recognize and honor your triggers while still allowing yourself to show up for those around you. Ask them how they are feeling or what they might want from you. It’s okay to be honest about your current assumptions. It’s okay to tell them you struggle to find the perfect wording or are worried about how you may come across. I know it’s scary but it gets slightly easier each time you try.

Its hard to say i can say what i know from my own experience. It may be emotions or some core believe with it's rules and assumptions. If emotions, you may be in emotional state where you see world thought the lenses, sad lens, fearful lens. Your mind produce thoughts about others that are colored by your internal state. Recognize that you feel "angry" and when you will direct your mind on others it will produce angry thoughts about others or interpret others actions and judge others state as angry. Than look for that state and see that process. If assumptions from core believe you will interpret world by that understandings that you gain thorough your life. It seems like you see in other person stress and you make in your mind more serious that it is. See if that's true and maybe look why would you do this? In general, when you see others in some way, without even hearing what they have to say to you, it's just your mind judge other person without reason. You said that you were mistaken. Give others chance to say how they feel.

​@@godspeedhero3671 What the hell are you on about? In no way shape or form did OP indicate that he is a manipulative person. How did you get that impression? >Changing your behavior to get a certain response out of them based on your perceptions of what needs to be done is controlling and dishonest. Bullshit. You do realize OP's entire post is centered around his perceptions of other's emotions, right? He has nothing to gain from acting the way he describes, unlike someone who manipulates people. Changing your behavior in response to someone's emotional state is exactly how a good person should act, it's how you demonstrate care and empathy for others. If you really care then you analyze the situation and use both logic and empathy to figure out what needs to be done and do it, so long as the other person is open to accepting your input/help/advice/whatever. Not changing your behaviour would be tantamount to saying "I don't care what you're experiencing, I'm just gonna keep doing me". When people close to you are are sad, angry, or feeling hopeless, the general response of good person is to act in such a way to help the other person out. AKA giving them space, giving them extra attention, sharing with them, etc. Basically the stuff OP said. Do you disagree with this? OP has an issue with involuntarily perceiving exaggerated negative emotions in others, and thus often finds himself acting "extra" with people. I see this as him trying to be a good person, but taken beyond the point of appropriateness and into the realm of social self-detriment. Basically, it would be like living in a world where everyone you meet looks extremely stressed, angry, sad, or hopeless - causing you to feel this compulsion to try and help everyone but in reality they are fine and you're acting a fool. It's one trait that codependants struggle with constantly. I know because I empathize greatly with OP's comment. You apparently just see it as him trying to manipulate people. Next time, try to add more nuance into your thought process and really think about what someone else is telling you before responding in way that paints them in a negative light.

ask if they need help before you try doing anything. you have a default viewpoint that is more likely to find ways to help. the good in this is hearing cries for help that are sometimes very quiet. it’s okay to be known as the person who always asks how others are doing. it’s not okay to be the person who has made many things worse by trying to help without understanding. I’m speaking from experience.

Enjoy the journaling! You deserve your comfort and your own way to live life

How did it go, did you find it helpful?

Say someone treats you badly, disrespects you, uses you, rips you off, etc. These things make you angry. But rather than becoming violent verbally or physically you could learn from that anger that you need to break up with the abusive partner, quit the job, stop hanging out with certain people, or be more alert in business dealings.

@@zoobiewa that's not easy. I can't quit the stuff I'm going through. My toxic mom has died and got a woman to help destroy the estate of both mom and dad.

It makes zero sense that they would only make it available for 6 weeks and leave the rest of us who are new here completely screwed. Really sucks.

@@Dimitris_Balf not really - most of what you need to know to be successful and happy in life doesn't come from a classroom. It comes from interacting with people and experiencing a range of experiences. Grad school is different, of course, because you're learning for a specific role, but even then, you will never be GOOD at what you're studying for until you've experienced it and learned all the non-academic pieces.

School still has its place. Much of what you learn in school isn't specifically what they teach. You learn a whole number of other things without even knowing you are learning them.

My mother is on the same ship as you, hope you are doing okay

@@Idk_bro12340 As the years pass, the rage is turning to a quiet poised silent menacing rage toward what happened and to anyone displaying similar qualities to those in my past. I'm very ok with this. Feels right, feels appropriate and feels like my genuine response to life with my personality (i.e. not what a book / practitioner suggested / advised). Hope you're doing ok too.

It seems like you've been measuring your success by the grades you get in school. But let me tell you, your grades are a small part of your entire life story. They're a means to an end (your dream career), not the end-all. It's okay if you get a couple of bad grades. When you graduate and get the job you wanted, your grades (good or bad) will be the last thing on your mind like they were for me. Don't give up.

It seems that your saddened more about the letter grade than the insufficient skills you obtained that semester. Personally, I think not gaining knowledge is far worse than getting a F letter grade because having knowledge is key to everything. How does this relate to your situation? If you focus on knowledge, you will realize that a permeant letter grade has no say on the person that you truly are, and that knowledge should be your prioritization. Knowledge isn't permenant, it can only go up. You will gain what you failed to obtain next semester.

I failed my first year of community college, I failed the first semester of 2nd year. My dream university would probably not accept me. I should have dropped right? I got the help I needed and the reason for me not dropping earlier was the pursuit of gaining knowledge. Im doing fine now.

@@shortydrew6349 i was able to adopt a healthier outlook. At the time, I was overwhelmed with life. Pretty much accepted the outcome, whatever it may be and will keep chugging along

@@shortydrew6349 sort of. Im still a junior, so still pretty much learning the same things I during my associates again, or that I learned before even going to college. Tedious and boring. A lot of the things you learn in psychology/counseling the Buddha already taught. Still haven't been taught or trained in any of the counseling skills or techniques, just frameworks that have already been built. Tl;dr I want to be at z when I have the knowledge of m, but academically im at H or L. Im just impatient with school and have other things going on in life lol

I was thinking about this as well. But I'll give it a try. I have alexithymia, so it might be harder. It's not that I don't experience emotions. I just have a hard time labeling them properly. As if I lack the vocabulary for other people to understand me. But I can regognize and name them when I have a list with different emotions. It works kind of like a dictionary. Interesting experiment I guess.

Imma try that. My fat will keep me alive for several months before I'll even begin feeling like shit. 😛

well hes a mental health not physical health expert :D

@@Terepin64 Then turn into a skeleton lmao

@@julz6077 Yea I know lol just joking, but when I heard "fasting" and especially for 16 hours I was like wuuuut

Mr. MMA, Street Workout Athlete and Good Cook the Bragger, you do know he was giving an extreme example, right? Totally didn't mean someone should do it... But hey, now we know you're a good cook, practice mixed martial arts and like to workout outdoors.