Agreed, since my SE is so low, I struggle with being in the moment and overthinking, which is probably why I've never gotten far with dating.

INTJs unite!

I wish I'd never dated anyone.

I mean, it actually is, I can see myself acting that way in all areas in life. Too much me, me, gonna be the best version of me, nevermind, I fucked up, let's isolate forever... oh, damn, how does one become the best version of themselves while isolating forever 😭 Well, at least I manage to be pretty chill around friends 🤔 and the people my best friend introduced me to a few days ago also seem pretty chill My biggest dilemma is how to start talking to people I've met but never talked to before - that is my classmates Like when I see people interact I feel like I'm not human enough, it's like, as a normal human being I should already know a lot about this area of life, and normal people usually invest their time in that area of life and it's too late for me to start that too, cause people usually start getting 'human' experience more early on in life so if I went out there everyone would just wonder what's wrong with me, but now that I think about it, if there was something so really, really wrong with me, then people would kinda come and help me (as annoying as it sounds, everyone needs to start at some level), but if it wasn't then that would mean I'm able to handle stuff by myself and I could just keep going and it would be better then me just lying around... Ok, that was personal, just felt like I had to talk to myself, cause when I try to write a diary in my own language I've got no idea what to say (another thing that doesn't feel very human like, how come it's easier to express myself in a foreign language, like there's just more fitting words and none of them sound cringe in english) Bye Edit: Also, can someone tell me how do you make text sound not so fast

Same bro and I am 16!

Because we totally do we just don’t realize it’s an issue until it’s pointed out 😂

Noooooooo 😭😭😭

it's true lol

lmao

How true 😂

♡

I am estj and i actually have this problem.I usually attracted to the insecure and broken people. Idk why 😶

@@ballarichakraborty8031Bro I'm INTJ and relate to both you guys and my type. Weakness and dependency attracts me 😶...has always attracted me.

@@nightmarefury9308 I think we are in trouble because i am telling you this things doesn't ends well 😂

Enfj so sad but true, it's about what WE Want.. not them... I really needed to hear this 😭

Sounds like a love story I'd watch a movie about.

I want this sooo baaad as an INFJ

this sounds like my story but we married a lot quicker. We married the day after we met in person. We've been married 16 years. I'm INFJ he's an ISFJ.

Same situation with the difference that because of external reasons we broke up after 3 years, a couple of months before I finally moved to Germany T.T

As an INFJ I've always found myself too easy going with an INTJ in terms of love, although sometimes it's hard when the feeling vs thinking thing strikes but yeah, I think it could happen and it's so beautiful, and from my experience the most precious thing I've ever had with someone were always with INTJs

Yeah, but I wouldn't want someone perfect either because then I'd feel like I'm not good enough for them... It's an impossible scale.

As an INTJ I totally agree, I have really high standards for others and for myself, and the process of dating and getting to know people who don't suit my ideal of future is painful. And I hate physical contact

@@IzzyKawaiichi Maybe they are good at everything except one thing that you are good at and you are okay with helping them out with this one thing.

Totally true and agree 💯

@@evrosidwa2801 That's not a bad theory, except the only things I'm really good at are English and common sense, and if they don't speak English and don't have common sense, it ain't gonna work. I mean, I would try to learn their language... but my family won't, and I'd prefer to have someone who can communicate with them not only in general but especially in case of emergencies. But common sense... you either have it or you don't.

ye i feel you . remeber don't worry, be happy. smiling makes you attractive.

🥲🤧 relatable

It's okay bro just remember we're all little creatures compared to this whole huge universe 🌌

but I would totally do that TT

Hun 😭😭😭😭😭😭

THIS! When I saw the title, I thought our mistake would be that we idealize our partner too much, with the 'rose-colored glasses' and all. But I do hold myself up to high standards too...gotta keep up with the fictionalized fantasy version of myself, ya know!

omg are we the same person

My most beloved ex is an INFP... They were always so hard on themselves, refusing to do anything about it, complaining when I gave advice on it, feeling worse when I let it hurt me. But whenever I tried to leave, I was too special and important! Couldn't leave, couldn't stay, couldn't fix anything about the relationship either. Commitment to either being in or out of a relationship was impossible.

YES I get you so much

ENFP, but I second that 😂

I didnt and still nobody approached me (well, I mean there was a girl that talked to me but she 100% never had that kind of intent), ah well. Why actively try to repel people though, surely the small chance that you meet somebody you like is worth not kicking away and it isnt like many people take a chance on talking to us nerds anyway?-ISTJ

@@edi0157 I went to high school with the same people that I hated in elementary school. I knew none of them were worth dating. I eventually married a fellow INTP that I met at university. We were both each other's first date.

@@ceilinh6004 ah fair enough then. I I wish I could meet another introvert thinker (maybe not ISTP, those adventures scare me) to fall in love with too (at least that is what my imagination says...) but tbh she would need to materialise in my bedroom so we could actually meet lol. Also I am in a really self-doubting phase right now (in university myself) so it probably wouldnt work anyway

Same. Although the person that liked me, wich I found very confusing at the time, told me that with an ending frase of 'You probably don't like me but I think you should know'. Curiously enough, we eventually ended up separating. Some people told me it was because I don't hug/kiss/hold hands 24/7, even though I specifically told them to ask me if they want affection.

Ah the reason why I can’t meet my compatible soul mate - ENTJ

That doesn't seem weird to me. In my experience, INTPs and ENFPs get along very well. I'm an INTP, and one of my top favourite people is an ENFP.

I'm ENFP, and honestly INTP's are great friends. I have INTP friends and they always make me feel so safe for some reason. Like they make me feel solid (?) if it makes sense.

lol that's brilliant!

I'm intp and my friend is enfp and the whole commitment thing is really out the window, haha! we're very much just vibing and chilling all the time it's somehow fun

@@ceilinh6004 Agreed!I am an ENFP and I really get along well with INTPs...but not in the context the comment writer made ,as an ENFP 6w7 such behavior and fear would overwhelm me to the degree of hating the person that never apprpaches me first or even try to show me that they care

Dating resume! Omg that's such a cool thing! Dating experience, strengths, weaknesses, skills definitely, objective for dating at all. Oh this has such potential. It's to the point and it would consume such little time. Absolutely love this idea. *Totally going to imagine a world where this would be the norm, instead of actually going out and meeting real people which involves unpredictable variables* - fellow INTJ.

Dating contracts would be great too. -INTJ

As an INFJ I'd like that too, these finding person business is too taxing for me 🙃

Omg I have thought of that before. I was discussing with my mother how there should be check boxes that indicate whether someone has had past trauma/cheated in a relationship on dating apps. That way, we'll be saving much more time 😂

Even in your comment you get nervous about writing and second-guess it 😆 My daughter is an INFP and always gets so freaked out when people show her attention, but secretly it is what she craves the most. I loved your comment and think it is not weird at all that you shared. That is what the comment section is for. (Do not feel weird about this reply 🤣)

Im an infp too and im stil single even tho i have 34yo now, and somehow i feel related to your comment

This is the most INFP thing I've ever read. Do you struggle to accept complements too?

@@allisonlargo7605 I also feel weirded out and shocked when people give me attention, it's like you're trying to be modest and in denial about it or like say that you don't deserve it but you know that you're moved by it

I am an INFP tooo... And understand you... I also wrote a whole ass comment about my perception of love and how I have not discovered myself or the meaning of love. But I thought I was kinda oversharing and nobody cares anyways so I deleted it 😅

I feel this reply in my soul.

Same… and I am currently in a PhD program. 😂

Good luck

Find a NT type or an Enfp.

spot on. i hope y'all enfp will analyze you two's compatibility more. so that you'll have a smoother happy relationship dynamic

@@delll372 Yeah my relationship with my ex gf was a prime example of this. I said I love you on the third day of knowing her and just a few months in I was talking about what it would look like if we were married and how it would work out. Big mistake looking back🤦🏼‍♂️

@@jacksauce that impulsive enfp-thing, when it comes to love, gets better with age. We love and we learn (sometimes the hard way when it comes to feelings) but we learn! AND we never stop love!! 🤗

Idk what u mean babe ! Lol

Another ENFP here agrees

Like I just want the perfect person to teleport into my living room

Preach 🙌

Oh my gosh! This is absolutely true! It's like a cage of self-love and self development, but getting you away of some important parts of development. How should an INFP/ISFP stop non-stoply thinking special and disconnected from society?!

Yes! The obvious “your different and weird” growing up is spot on. There is a lid for every pot. Loved your solutions.

@@Ali-MJ Well, I'm no psychotherapist but I can tell you what has helped me. At first I needed to recognise the problem. In my memories, I went back to the situation where someone told me I was special. Then I'd visualise myself stepping in as an adult and telling myself how I should view myself in a healthy way. (In general, I try to decide what a healthy way is by following the advice I'd give someone else with the same problem). If necessary, I'd forgive the person telling me otherwise. I've also looked for what is unique in other people and just observe and enjoy it from afar. Then learnt to enjoy it from a closer perspective, in a friendship. If appropriate, I'd tell the other person what I enjoy in him/her. This helped me realise other people or no better, no worse than I am and puts me on the same level as they are. I've learnt to see myself as part of a group by participating in it. I've found a sport group I feel very comfortable with and I've learnt to enjoy the small talk and the light-hearted humor: It pulls me out of my deep and sometimes moody Fi mind. If I go there with the right expectations, I don't mind having no deep conversations with everyone (which are interesting to have but tiring as well). Since I learnt more about the MBTI and really recognise myself as an INFP, I'm focussing on strengthening my Te and Se. Te by often thinking 'what would I say if someone else told me this?' and Se by leanring to enjoy the moment, i.e. when I eat my foods, during sports, going outside and taking everything in, etc. Long post, sorry, but I hope you can pick a few cherries that'll help you out!

@@Chealder what would I say if someone else told me this + being more present in the moment : specifically the two things I've been working on the most in therapy for a while ! :) Helps a lot! (From an infp)

Fellow INFP here. One solution i've found for this naturally, is to become so damn busy, that there is zero time for the brain to overanalyze too much anymore. 😅 (Not sure which is worse though!)

The main person I'm dating right now is an ENFJ, and they drive 45 minutes to see me since I don't drive. After watching this, I'm like "huh, good thing I was gonna ask for our next date to be in their town."

Bc they love you 💕💕

🌸Trust your instincts 🌼

Same. Entp here ignoring my crush's texts and wondering if we're even compatible even tho we're insanely attracted to each other.💀

GIRL !! You’ll never know if she/he’s good for you if you avoid her/him ! Just jump and you’ll see You’ll never come to a conclusion if you stay in your thoughts So just ask for another date and you’ll see (- A fellow ENTP)

@@flm8580 same for you, you’ll never know if your crush is good for you if you stay in your thoughts The more you see your crush the more you’ll know if he/she’s good for u

This is NE Dom curse for sure! I'm Enfp and I've been struggling with this my whole life. I like a guy, he likes me back, I lose interest. I'm just so scared of commitment. I wanna get married but still it makes me so stressed to even think about it.

Hmmm - I generally don’t text back because deep down I know the person I’m avoiding isn’t really that compatible... (Chemistry alone does not equal compatibility 🤷🏼‍♀️) Remember - we pick up on behavior patterns, hidden ticks etc. like nobody’s business. I generally start avoiding guys when I can tell they like me more than I like them - but I don’t want to literally tell them that 🤦🏼‍♀️. When I find someone who is truly compatible, I’m pretty dogged in my response/pursuit. So I think - yes - there’s definitely an element of “Uhg - commitment...” but it’s paired with an uncanny level of discernment at very early stages of engagement with other people. A key reason we refrain from committing is because deep down - we don’t see a future with the person in the first couple dates and where most people would say - “Give it a little time - get to know him/her better...” We can usually say - “Eh - I know enough already 🤣🤣🤣”

I love those catalogs, Sears, JC Penney, Montgomery Ward's, whatever was in business. Siblings and i would have so much fun looking at those and writing down what we wanted, narrowing it down.

Seriously same!

ENTPs and INFPs seem to know the INTP code better than most. The INTPs I have known have always seemed enigmatic to others, but they are an open book to me (INFP) and my ENTP brother had a lot of INTP friends.

@@helenwood8482 oh yes, my INTP bf also seems highly intrigued by INFPs! I find that surprising, since INFPs are so feelings based while INTPs are all about logic (at least they'd like to be)

@@limaindiasiestaalpha. As a fellow INTP, I have to say that I don't know anything about love or feelings in general but yeah, I can recite the 100 digits of pi and I still get straight A's withought studying even for a day. Everything I know, or seem to know, about feelings is from the research I've done online lol.

@@andreaplatz_yt4086 to be fair I should say that I don't understand love either and I often don't know how I even feel. And my INTP also doesn't understand feelings, but he keeps saying that he would like to plant his personality inside a robot that is able to think but not feel...

That's a good video idea because I've always wondered that.

good idea!

As an INTP, I have to say I have the same problem about 'should I go or should I not?'. Always end up 5 mins late.

Same girl same 😁

I am infj and I very agree I swear I have this thought in my mind that I'm an infp in denial

As a fellow INFP, I'll give you a nice advice ;) Confronting yourself with the outer world lets you grow a lot as a person:) It gives you new perspectives, broaden your horizons, and gives you new pieces of puzzles, which you can make a good use of in your inner world :) If you choose not to interact with the outside, in making and managing relationships, in communicate with others, you loose a whole lot of important factors and valuable life lessons which could help with your self growth

my partner is INFP so i can understand that perspective. but I'm just saying you can still achieve those things while dating, you still can be more awesome, grow and get closer to your dream while in the journey of dating. if anything the right partner will be your cheerleader 🤗 and be the best support system so you can achieve it sooner/better 🥰

😂 Don't reveal that. Now, we're officially hopeless romantics.

Also INTJ, and I can't stand the messaging back and forth that's expected in online dating. Meet me for coffee or wine just once and I will know whether there's potential for more. Frank's right. I really don't want to do all the other "work" that's typical of dating.

@@jamesbell7696 I dislike reality tv shows, but I do find an odd thrill watching Married at First Sight. "Specialists use scientific matchmaking methods to determine each couple, who will not have met or had contact with each other until the wedding day."

@@onlyfansagency My mom loves that show too, but look at their statistics-- Science or no, they sure don't have many successful matches.

As an INTP, I have to say I'd be so happy if someone does that lol.

awww. After seeing Frank's segment on us makes me feel like even this guess was too self critical.

As an INFP who's been on the receiving end of another INFP's affections, boy have I been subjected to that. And it certainly didn't aid in my own 'Am I good enough?' worries. I can't deny that I have a bit of this tendency myself, but I've always tried to temper it with a dose of realism and willingness to accept imperfections.

From my experience (on the receiving end of this process): yes accurate.

@@Multitudes_. I have had the same worries, but Instead I was INTP and so were they. I wasn't sure if they were actually interested and if I was doing something wrong. The video is spot on.

I'm an INTP too, and can relate to a degree. I know I'm hard to read, but I also have never been interested in casual dating. I've never wanted to date anyone I couldn't see myself marrying. In the end, I married the first person I ever dated, and he (another INTP) did the same.

you're right, dont sacrifice your core values. try to fish in the right pond, the circle/type of group you clicks with, or whatever type of pool you think "the brain you're interested in" most likely is there, open your self to talks in that crowd.

I'm an INTP, and same here about the bad dates part. I'm extremely picky (for good reason, as I'm from a dysfunctional background and don't want to risk continuing the cycle), as well as very private and non-expressive, so I tend to come across as anti-social, and been called "cold-hearted" before. I don't want to have a marriage like my parents', but I also don't want to be like my uncle and sister, spending a good portion of their lives going from one bad relationship to the next searching for Mrs/Mr Right and still getting nowhere. I think that what you see is what you get, so when I see anything I don't like, I walk away. This always happens subconsciously, though, like I don't deliberately do this. I just get disinterested when something comes up that I find a deal-breaker (e.g., the other wanting children, while I'm adamant about NO), because I don't believe in dating someone you don't see yourself marrying (and staying married. WELL-married. Long-term). But then again, we'll never know until we put ourselves out there.

@@ceilinh6004. Damn, same happened to me except the marriage part. We eneded up seperating (Both of us were INTP aswell). Reason was that I wasn't as affectionate as the person wanted me to be.

Agree-

woah love your quote at the end :D

I just noticed I would do that too and it sucks WHY AM I BUILT LIKE THIS LMAO I'M A ENFJ... Like I think I fall in love because I can already see a future with them and I sometimes can be TOO kind to a point where I change, you best believe I'm working on that and setting boundaries when it comes to my self-worth. Ain't no simping for me!

Lmao😂👍

Happy for you two! 💛

But for how long did you talk to him before you decided to get married?

That is amazing and insane at the same time but wow congrats you guys!!

Wow my parents are estp and enfj (i forced them to take the test) but in their case they fight everyday! Bcz of that I always thought these types don’t work out together but you opened my mind, I hope you guys have a great life

This is so accurate 😂😂 I went to a class dinner last month and I could almost swear I was smiling in every group photo. Turns I wasn't smiling in any of them and everyone else was

INTP here, and looking at the photos, I have learned pretty well to smile at the camera. But apparently my face is like a lamp that goes on and off: some other people have commented that when I am actually talking with other people, I have a friendly face, but when not, I look quite forbidding, and the switch between the two looks is noticeable... So I guess if my engagement to the other person falters, I will give "bored now" vibes very quickly (but I don't really want to be too hype either, and besides it is taxing in energy).

ISTJ here, I cant smile either and I know it. Just take the photo, stop forcing me to smile, I am doing my best already

@@freregregoire2685 I get similar feedback from time to time. Probably because I have higher energy level when engaged in conversations that catch my attention, and I will somewhat mimic the gestures of people I am talking with. It can be very energy-consuming though to override the default neutral face (may seem bored to others, but I am not really feeling bored, just immersed in my own thoughts) when I am not interested in what’s happening around me, as the override requires both mental and physical efforts.

So true tho. My mom always called me a Zombie and said 'You are too cold-hearted'. Guess she picked it up too lol.

Agreed - INFP. But a nice romantic dinner somewhere, like Lady and the Tramp, is nice maybe when you are better acquainted and less nervous.

Sounds like an activity date or group date might be more your speed. (INFJ)

Ya same I just like to have fun, I don't like all the conventional stuff -ENFJ

@@avril.227 I don't like group activities, and I definitively love having deep conversations 🙂 When I say "spontaneously", I don't mean it has to be fun. I mean I want to get to know the person without any pressure or standards, whereas in this process of dating, there are kind of implicit rules and norms. I think dating partners are more likely to act in a stereotyped way, to do conventional activities and to respect implicit norms that don't necessarily match their values and personality when they are in an officially dating process than when they are just... getting to know each other. I don't know if it's clear, sorry, I am struggling a bit with the language 🤭

This is why we are not just going to date for the sake of dating. It has to be personal and actually an additional happiness in our life. -INFP

Today is literally the first video I watched where I noticed the wedding ring and I was taken by complete surprise lol

He's married? 😯

@@YanilkaMarie yeah, he said it on the 1 million subs livestream that he just got married to an ENTJ

@@edi0157 oh mannn! Hez into 50 shades of grey🙆🏻‍♀️

As they're happening too

when he said "you gotta throw that out the window" my heart disintegrated

As INTJ I’ve never had a date because I have so low Se that no one ever asked me. I never asked someone because I be like “mhh it’s not gonna work a lifetime”

Yes, same here.

ISTJ here, less so if they are my friends but especially when I dont know them that well, damn. And I havent had a date either, INTJ....I have never asked anyone because I never had a crush on anyone because I need to talk to people in order to see if I like them and I barely do that lol

Go on more active than talkative dates? Less food more crafts(or something)?

right!! I had multiple people confess to me they like me, back in the days. and the first thing pops in my head was 'why do you like me tho??' 😬🤣

Holy shit give him to me-

INTJ here and i cannot tell you how much i agree

​@@boba.1207 INFJ and you guys are overreacting lol

ISFJ and I agree with INFJ

INTJ and the INFJ & ISFJ in this comment proves the OP right. Y'all suck.

@@McDonalds_xingqiu Most people only want the status. They expect you to put in all the effort while giving absolutely ✨nothing ✨in return.

Omg I don't know if you're still around to see my response, but DON'T CHASE PERFECTION. Actually this is exactly what FJ was trying to imply in this video. Perfection isn't a goal we should keep for ourselves, because it's the core reason why we INFPs are so so soooo self critical. Working on yourself, in my pov, would be to embrace more what we do well, instead on focusing on fixing what we do "wrong". I think by nurturing the great things we do and care about allows us to just take a step back and stop self torturing with that endless loop of self improvement journey that can be more draining than anything if not controlled, for it not to take the whole space in our life, making us more miserable. Yeah. Do what you love, learn how to love yourself doing what you love, and I think the rest might follow step by step. God bless you beyond your prayers

Totally agree! People often said I was too much. And I over analysed allot because I thought that was a genuine problem in my dating life. Turns out its just personality. That stuff don't change 😂

Please say more... 😂

What's his type?

@@sash8099 I have no idea 😂 he's not interested in types 😁

This is interesting 😃😁

If I was actively dating as an INFJ I'd try this: Ditch the dating apps and meet people in real life. Ex. speed dating or single mixers in the local area is a bajillion percent more efficient than using dating apps because it gives an opportunity to talk to a bunch of people in a short amount of time and "download" their energy/vibe using our INFJness to determine whether it'd be a potentially good match. People can easily hide their personality and idiosyncrasies in texts, but most people can't in real life, so less time is wasted trying to figure out what their motives and demeanor are etc. If that's not an option, avoid having small talk text conversation starters and show the weird INFJness of our personality as soon as possible. Talk about that weird thing we like. You know the one. The one with Schroedingers Cats dressed up as super heroes and villains at the same time. If they're in, they're in. If they're out, we've just saved a whole bunch of time and effort trying to appear "normal" and interested in small talk.

All of us introverts suffer with small talk not only you INFJs, ISTJ here and it would be nice if we could skip that. And meeting so many people sounds draining and scary indeed...I have never Googled that though:))

The guys come up to me . I’m too introverted to come up to guys

@@Missmagazinebura So are us guys, guess we are doomed then

@@edi0157 lol 😂 make a joke. I’ll laugh

oof... that gamer tag though, should be a breeze actually :)

I'm too self critical bcos I'm afraid if I ended up with the wrong person. and i date to marry. I don't wanna waste my time here. so i thought being high standard would eliminate the possibilities of bad things happening - infp 😐

was the guy in "How I met your mother" wasn't he convinced everyone he met would be the one? and yet... he still went out and tried. Maybe that is a secret...day dream and plan, but still place one foot infront of the other.

I am an isfj too , and never dated anyone . Hi there☺👋

YUPPPP!!!

Don't skip to timestamps on any creator's videos you like first time around. Just mute them first time around so watch time is 100 percent for them.

@@onlyfansagency Interesting. Is it because it supports the content creator or is this a personal opinion? I'm curious 🤔

💀💀💀 Brkzjfla that’s literally what i said (ENTP)

Literally I knew before even clicking on the video as an ENFP. I always say it, it's ne dom curse.

Our time will come!

@@simonz7972 i hope

Everyone expects that.

Eyes wide open. there are sharks swimming everywhere. you will meet honest souls and some that are game playing...but you stay true and open minded, wear a thick skin to not be easily offended and should have some fun... just making a new friend...no pressure... and remember they were not created to solve all of your woes, nor are you there ti fix or improve what god made them... you can't pay for their past pain...and can't give them the moon..but what you can do is dance and laugh and enjoy getting to know a new friend. Time and troubles will show if they stay or if they go...trust isn't built overnight... but with give and take through stormy weather you can find out who is worthy and who is just passing by...

Being open and honest about your intentions will help alleviate that. You don't owe anything to anyone you're not committed to.

I need to see them In person . I don’t use dating apps

Same haha.

Same here, but it's 24 years for me.

Same lol

I’m an INFP and I dig that exotic and mysterious comment 😂 me too sister 😅

I know!! close friends often tell people that's my face isn't 'like that when I'm way more engaged in conversation' not to mention 'you should smile more', and, oh, my favorite 'your stickers in chatting apps are cute and expressive,not like the real you' 🤣🤣🤣

really!🤣 I'm so funny but maybe that's just in my head😂