What Does The Jeb Say?

Рет қаралды 962,525

8 жыл бұрын

Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush keeps saying the wrong thing, and no one knows what House Speaker hopeful Kevin McCarthy is saying.
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Пікірлер: 518

@Steve27775 8 жыл бұрын

Leaders that won't lead and speakers that can't speak. What a country.

@ASTCify 8 жыл бұрын

+randomflashbacks I have tears of laughter and giggles of depression.

@krokodyl1927 8 жыл бұрын

+randomflashbacks 'dude' is genderless👀

@krokodyl1927 8 жыл бұрын

+Karp Wojcicki lmfao thx

@23hoyas 8 жыл бұрын

+Steve27775 what a *party.

@TheMusketITuckedIt204 8 жыл бұрын

+Lester Luczak Yeah try calling your mom a dude and see what happens lol

@venusboys3 8 жыл бұрын

It's because his speeches are being written by the same guys who translate Japanese video games into English, "All your base are belong to us!"

@wavygaara 8 жыл бұрын

Funniest comment I've seen in a while

@wavygaara 8 жыл бұрын

Funniest comment I've seen in a while

@reinforcer9000 8 жыл бұрын

+venusboys3 ha ha all joking aside it's written by republicans, that's why

@briang2550 8 жыл бұрын

+venusboys3 Funniest comment....

@redstonecasey4713 7 жыл бұрын

"I feel asleep!" -Recently Awakened Guard, Metal Gear (1987)

@ARWG 8 жыл бұрын

"Hungria"

@RobertGrif 8 жыл бұрын

+Andrew Walker (awalk) I think he was feeling very hungria when he said that.

@elgranqenk 8 жыл бұрын

+Andrew Walker (awalk) I think he checked a map of Europe that was written in Spanish.

@AmerginMacEccit 8 жыл бұрын

+Andrew Walker (awalk) Hungry in Hungary as in Sleepless in Seatle.

@SuperGamli 8 жыл бұрын

+Andrew Walker (awalk) "Pollen"? .I have never been in pollen, im allergic.

@4malulz104 8 жыл бұрын

+Andrew Walker (awalk) Great, now I"m Hungria than I was...

@Ketirz 8 жыл бұрын

I didn't realize Google Translate took on physical form and got into politics.

@luckyjasonfan 8 жыл бұрын

Bwhahaha!! POINTS! You win the Internet for the next 24 hours :)

@tunsiCA94 8 жыл бұрын

+luckyjasonfan Chris Hardwick is that you?

@luckyjasonfan 8 жыл бұрын

+Khalid Ibn Walid :-)

@hobbes281 7 жыл бұрын

Lmao No this proves that there is hope for victims of traumatic brain injuries yet. He walks, he (sort-of) talks, and can even put on his own pants.

@Ketirz 7 жыл бұрын

hobbes281 Okay, but do we have a witness on that last one?

@UncleMilo 8 жыл бұрын

Americans should be embarrassed that Kevin McCarthy holds a political office of any sort and should be terrified that he could become Speaker of the House and therefore 3rd in line for the Presidency.

@krokodyl1927 8 жыл бұрын

ditto

@signofthetimes6613 8 жыл бұрын

+UncleMilo he's not... he dropped out

@krokodyl1927 8 жыл бұрын

+Diego Chirico 3rd in line 4POTUS?! 👀🐸Whew!!

@z-beeblebrox 8 жыл бұрын

+UncleMilo Good news!!

@willisverynice 8 жыл бұрын

+UncleMilo Don't worry, most of us are. Edit: Shit actually you should definitely worry. A lot.

@fidorover 8 жыл бұрын

Kevin McCarthy looks like the sales manager at a Lexus dealership in Newport, Rhode Island.

@LadiesmanBumblebee 8 жыл бұрын

So specific.

@alexandermljones3337 8 жыл бұрын

+LadiesmanBumblebee I'm not sure he made it up

@fidorover 8 жыл бұрын

+Alexander ML Jones Yup, it was just my imagination. Never been to a Lexus dealership in Newport, Rhode Island. Or any Lexus dealership, for that matter.

@JediNiyte 8 жыл бұрын

+fidorover What do you have against Newport, RI? :P

@spd13062 8 жыл бұрын

+fidorover Nah, he looks like a sales manager at the Lexus dealership in Newport Beach, California.

@darkinstinctful123 8 жыл бұрын

Stephen should be president. But tragically. He is too smart to be a president :(

@MikeUnderTown 8 жыл бұрын

America would be awesome if master Stephen will become president

@seunosewa 8 жыл бұрын

+Los Blancos Yea that's what America desperately needs right now. A funny president.

@espantalho93 8 жыл бұрын

+Los Blancos He was going to try to run, but was blocked by basically everyone.

@blackwaterfrog 8 жыл бұрын

+Los Blancos You actually believe that?

@knifetoucher 8 жыл бұрын

+Los Blancos Sir, you have offended me and I demand satisfaction in the form of a written apology to Jeb Bush. The apology needs to be notarized and sent to Mr. Bush's office via USPS Priority or preferably, Express.

@aditipandit7309 8 жыл бұрын

Just toooo good. Literally ROFLing 😂😂😂😂😂.... One of the best Stephen Colbert videos... 👍👍👍

@juliobarrios8149 8 жыл бұрын

McCarthy speaks like a stoned yoda...

@BboyZoinks 8 жыл бұрын

"Thomas Jefferson " I lostvmy shit

@e.s.blofeld1775 8 жыл бұрын

+BboyZoinks Todd: "I'm sorry for your loss."

@sunshine.princess 8 жыл бұрын

+E. S. Blofeld "And I mean this from the bottom of my heart, stuff happens."

@TheJviolinist 8 жыл бұрын

Stephen speaks better than any of them could, but I wouldn't want him to leave because he makes a bigger difference here than he ever could being involved in convoluted government policies.

@thecontinental4049 8 жыл бұрын

Yup. Al Franken is basically irrelevant now.

@hollydowns2279 5 жыл бұрын

Oh yes comedy is a great way to introduce ideas and make them stick

@axemtitanium 8 жыл бұрын

Has Anyone Really Been Far Even as Decided to Use Even Go Want to do Look More Like?

@14Schofield 8 жыл бұрын

+Benjamin Lu Reading that made me want to die.

@tylerjaynes822 8 жыл бұрын

+randomflashbacks guys you're jealous just because the language that his country learned him isn't to par or under par, but upper par, than what your too used to.

@malik0mv 8 жыл бұрын

Tyler Jaynes

@four5569 8 жыл бұрын

I have does not you turn down the goings of yes I do good work you are America good.

@dakotanelson8523 8 жыл бұрын

Larry?

@lucbuydens6191 8 жыл бұрын

Jeb! "not necessarily doing anything". I think he got that from his brother's example of not doing anything after Katrina.

@ImusakHctividar 8 жыл бұрын

Kevin McCarthy: "Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

@Moskeeto 8 жыл бұрын

+Visceral Emu That's exactly what came to mind as I was listening to him speak.

@Enoriath 8 жыл бұрын

Stephen is the greatest comedian! I was dying watching this!!

@cchege 8 жыл бұрын

i seriously think that Obama should go a third therm. They all scare me.

@QuinnIsIn 8 жыл бұрын

Bernie Sanders 2016 #FeelTheBern

@NathanDaNoob 8 жыл бұрын

Bernie Sanders 2016 #FeelTheBern

@kateburton3877 8 жыл бұрын

+Charles Chege Feel the Bern!!

@jabeztomer 8 жыл бұрын

+Charles Chege therm?

@theblackhedgehog48 8 жыл бұрын

That's what Hillary and Bernie are for, my friend. Oh, and maybe O'Malley if he's a Vice President nominee. He'd be a great one imo.

@nenafan1 8 жыл бұрын

I.... I think I love you, Stephen. That speech at the end truly moved me. In all seriousness, though, you are the best late night host by far.

@diluted_potato8774 8 жыл бұрын

Jeb eat a snickers, you're not you when you're hungria.

@FCBWJT 8 жыл бұрын

his ending bit was too funny hahaha

@TheSnoopy1750 8 жыл бұрын

And some thought Jeb was the smart Bush.

@mest5621 8 жыл бұрын

+TheSnoopy1750 he's an idiot so basically if "stuff happens" we shouldn't do anything to fix it?

@beepbeeprichie2545 8 жыл бұрын

+mest5621 If you look at the whole clip he had already talked about it more sincerely, of course media is going to go to a small clip to point something out........ I thought everyone knew this already....

@TheSnoopy1750 8 жыл бұрын

Luis López The point is Jeb doesn't feel compelled to do a single thing about it. Jeb can talk about it sincerely all he wants, but that's all it is, talk. Not exactly leadership material.

@JammastaJ23 8 жыл бұрын

The smartest bush is a merkin with glasses.

@TheMusketITuckedIt204 8 жыл бұрын

+TheSnoopy1750 Thank goodness there are still people like you with common sense out there.

@continued.elsewhere 8 жыл бұрын

I am SO tickled!! Oh Steven Tyrone, I've missed you so.

@stiimuli 8 жыл бұрын

Wait a minute...1:48 why was the word "shootings" dubbed in? What did Stephen actually say during taping there? O_o

@drewzifer 8 жыл бұрын

I think he was saying "School Killings".

@stiimuli 8 жыл бұрын

***** Yeah I kinda thought that too but why would he say that unless it was just a flub?

@stiimuli 8 жыл бұрын

drewzifer That could be it....and I can see why they might change that too.

@zazens 8 жыл бұрын

Probably audio de sync

@cannykicks 8 жыл бұрын

+stiimuli School killings

@jonathanzhangxu 8 жыл бұрын

The JFK parts the amused my tears out. lol

@tmz85 8 жыл бұрын

Once again Colbert's observation of the mad characters of the America political system is spot on. In other words, cray cray...

@Wired4Life2 8 жыл бұрын

This segment literally had me in stitches! LMFAO! XDD

@z-beeblebrox 8 жыл бұрын

Man, I wish Jon Batiste would echo Stephen's "Jeb!" like he did in the earlier episodes. That was friggin' hilarious

@AckzaTV 8 жыл бұрын

McMcarthy speaks like W Bush letting wings take dream, puttin food on your family

@hm-gp5ux 8 жыл бұрын

Jeb!ᵀᴹ

@moonscorch 8 жыл бұрын

McCarthy's public speaking can best be described as a speech put into Google translate, translated into Japanese, and then back to English.

@ashkans1749 8 жыл бұрын

Damn you Stephen. After all this time "JEB!" is still stuck in my head lmaooo!

@Halocon720 7 жыл бұрын

McCarthy sounds like Miss South Carolina.

@darksideseem 8 жыл бұрын

5:48 "My fellow Americans. Long before times have we faced great challenges of this nation, but America is anything if not a land from opportunity. Of the speaker and the house, Kevin McCarthy wants to rise that opportunity and let every mouth speech as one. It's the circle of life and it moves us all because without a brave leadership, America won't be left behind. I believe it was Ronald Reagan who said, "Thomas Jefferson." And those are words are still are true today. Thank you, may God thank America, and Hello." Pulitzer Prize worthy.

@MichaelPeterson1982 8 жыл бұрын

Terribly ironic that Kevin McCarthy should be given any job with the word "speaker" in the title.

@FourthDerivative 8 жыл бұрын

Hearing Kevin McCarthy speak must be what it's like to have a stroke.

@Gymnopediea 8 жыл бұрын

Omg. I honestly had hoped that I misheard "hungria". wtf. Who are these people??!??!

@tomlee45 8 жыл бұрын

LOL Hungria!!! hahahaha

@kennystevey 8 жыл бұрын

This is so much better than The Tonight Show from Jimmy Fallon. Fallon always looks like he's really nervous and jittery. The show is almost too scripted and it really tries hard to be family friendly. Colbert is not only comfortable with the job he was given, but he's actually funny and a great person to watch. Who ever in the the networking industry chose Colbert to take over The Late Show, you made a good decision.

@tidalkingv 8 жыл бұрын

For a moment, it feels like watching "Colbert Report" again. Good times.

@Tenwaystospoildinner 8 жыл бұрын

I half-expected McCarthy to say, "I am American, and so can you." He's got the wording down pat.

@FlorenceFox 8 жыл бұрын

Am I the only one who thinks Kevin McCarthy sounds like he might legitimately have some sort of neurological issue? I mean, I know public speaking can be heard, but he doesn't even seem to notice how bad he's flubbing his lines.

@cice2 8 жыл бұрын

+Florence MacKenna He's like an actor who had no idea why he kept failing at auditions until he started running for political office.

@verysadgrill 8 жыл бұрын

+Florence MacKenna It's possible... It reminded me of Sarah Palin and Miss SC. I'd be interested in knowing more about that.

@peggystoutemorin4529 8 жыл бұрын

+Florence MacKenna Nah. He simply planned on dazzling his audience with his great hair and looks. His handlers had to have known there was something wrong with this man's oratory. My only hope is that a speech writer didn't pen those gems. White guys get away with so much!

@TheMusketITuckedIt204 8 жыл бұрын

+Florence MacKenna Yes, public speaking is meant to be heard.

@TheYasmineFlower 8 жыл бұрын

+Florence MacKenna I'm sure if he did, Ben Carson would have noticed already. If he ever wakes up, that is.

@benjaminp1218 8 жыл бұрын

Tony Abbott and the soldier anyone?

@edwardjohnson8933 8 жыл бұрын

+Pinkie3Point14159 hey.. We got abort in Texas.. He s still thinking we got invaded by the U S Army.. We need to vote Christianity out of politics,there suffering from massive delusions and they need help with there book reports.. I never seen so many people in one room that clearly needs someone to help push the Maturity volume up and away from two.. I m inclined to believe Christianity stumps a persons maturity at a high school level!! Help we need more Democrates... To move to Texas.. This state is dead and dull.. We ve done nothing since wheels Abbott arrived, we had a conspiracy that is still being talked about.. Please help😖

@benjaminp1218 8 жыл бұрын

+Edward Johnson wat

@edwardjohnson8933 8 жыл бұрын

we got GOVERNOR ABBOTT,here in Texas,he still thinks we were invaded by the U.S. ARMY,Jade Helm op,s....truck jeeps no armor,no gun ships,or other copters...the christains bought out the gun stores ..AGAIN..we need evangalicals voted out of we the peoples politics...they believe it's we the evangelicals"christains"...these people are demanding war...just anyone will do so long as these shit kickers get to use there cool AR 15 s...we need this gang to fad into the bunkers they had constructed through out the back woods....these groups are the most dangerous ,home grown ,super parinods,reved up and hopped up on christain values,WOMEN ARE TO OBEY,BLACKS HAVE BEEN GIVEN TO THESE ASSHOLES AS GIFTS FROM GOD...THEY WILL KILL A DOCTOR THAT HELPS A WOMEN END A PREGNENCY,AFTER RAPE INCEST,STILL BORN,DISFIGURED,RETARDED...AND FOR WHAT EVER A WOMEN CHOOSES TO BE NESSESARY...THE EVANGELICALS WILL KILL TO PROTECT UNWANTED LIFE,BUT THEY ALSO KILL IF YOU SCARE THEM,BLACK FOLKS HAVE LITTLE REASON TO TRUST THESE NAZI'S...IT'S EASY TO SEE THEY HAVE A NAZI MENTALLITY..steer clear of these people,you,ll know you are in front of one when they always smile,with a disturbing empty facial expression...there dangerous..there all in our house of reps,and senate,vote this bigotry out...its not gods house it's we the peoples house...we make disisions about earths realities not the twisted Evangelical version of there bible,one most have never read once,let alone studied..many of these people qualify as MENTAL INSTABILITY...THEY DO AS THERE TOLD REGARDLESS OF OUT COME...there SICK..they shouldn't have a gun with such a willing mentality to kill,simply because they believe...that's not enough,you people need to provide proof.....is any of the crazy real,if so it's time the world see's your proof.

@shymickey6 8 жыл бұрын

Lol! Stephen clowned Jeb at the end! Hahahahaaa

@calvingrey5065 8 жыл бұрын

@1:12 Jeb!... He really captures the goofy energy of the slogan every time he refers to Jeb.

@krokodyl1927 8 жыл бұрын

so 'on point'. Thank you, Stephen Colbert.

@onjofilms 8 жыл бұрын

He'll fit right in with the texting generation that doesn't know 'i' is a proper noun and should be capitalized.

@tomaslaradavid 8 жыл бұрын

This guy is just so awesome... I love very single clip he has done in the past 10 years.

@JF-wn2yb Жыл бұрын

He's our new speaker of the house? ... greeeat

@ujash92 8 жыл бұрын

Didn't know Charlie Kelly wrote for McCarthy

@Jaxymann 8 жыл бұрын

"I believe it was Ronald Reagan who said, Thomas Jefferson". Stephen Colbert, 2015.

@BaljitKaur-bj1fe 8 жыл бұрын

Invades Middle East Ehh, stuff happens. 😂😂

@beepbeeprichie2545 8 жыл бұрын

He wouldn't do that after what his dad and brother have gotten them into though.

@beepbeeprichie2545 8 жыл бұрын

+dontwanttosignupok Because if you've been paying attention..... he is nothing like his dad and is known to disagree with his brother. Idk about you, but I'm nothing like my dad, in the United States we can all be our own person by choice, but we see that many rather be influenced by their parents. Doesn't mean everyone is.

@beepbeeprichie2545 8 жыл бұрын

+dontwanttosignupok Oh and plus..... idk if you knew.... but our current conflict isn't with Iraq, I don't know if you knew this. We have kinda backed out of there when Obama came in office.

@MrBoredo 8 жыл бұрын

+Baljit Kaur more people die to gun violence than terrorist attacks :eh stuff happens. lets do nothing.

@TheMusketITuckedIt204 8 жыл бұрын

+Baljit Kaur Or use the other stupid Bush's slogan, "Mission Accomplished."

@petere4585 8 жыл бұрын

This was beautiful. That McCarthy guy is a friggin' riot. No wonder he backed out. He probably can't order a pizza with screwing it up.

@lynnpabontheelitehero6579 8 жыл бұрын

Why is it so hard? Jeb: that's what she said.

@carolondrey3222 8 жыл бұрын

Excellent satire by Stephen. I hope McCarthy sees it, and is smart enough to keep his mouth shut from now on.

@Kim-tf3if 8 жыл бұрын

This is the Stephen Colbert I have missed!!!

@imvdat3698 8 жыл бұрын

McCarthy sounds like he's trying to reach his word count in a school essay lol

@gumbyg.7445 8 жыл бұрын

You'll be singing a different song now that Mumbles is out and CRAZY Louie Gohmert is IN! Hee Haw!!

@frederickasa98 8 жыл бұрын

'Stuff happens' Weak! In Australia we say 'shit happens'

@kesonafyren837 7 жыл бұрын

It sounds like Master Yoda had too much to drink!

@prophismusic 8 жыл бұрын

"Maybe things will work themselves out." - Jeb

@Coff1Up 8 жыл бұрын

Nice to see Miss Teen South Carolina found a solid career path.

@BunnyCentauri 8 жыл бұрын

Dayummmm... destroyed!

@jfaulsti10 7 жыл бұрын

"I believe it was Ronald Reagan who said, 'Thomas Jefferson.'"

@19billdong96 8 жыл бұрын

5:26 Caught me by surprise, laughed uncontrollably

@nicholashylton6857 8 жыл бұрын

Whoa! Powerful stuff. I got a Palin word-salad flashback for a second there.

@cmanbball8 8 жыл бұрын

"Hopefully his experience in Hungria will allow him to finally broker a peace treaty with Narnia." Lmao, hilarious

@martingoldfire 8 жыл бұрын

As a norwegian, I love this man!

@LeesaDeAndrea 8 жыл бұрын

Thanks, that made me laugh. I needed that.

@tidegoesin_tidegoesout 8 жыл бұрын

This was just too funny

@MrStensnask 8 жыл бұрын

Incredible to actually will a certain amount is clear. Also, I have visited the Scandinavian capitol of Denway.

@1964corvan 8 жыл бұрын

OMG this left me in tears! LOLOL my sides

@RDX12606 8 жыл бұрын

Meme...

@TheDajamster 8 жыл бұрын

Is McCarthy related to Palin?

@MatrixGuardians99 8 жыл бұрын

Sounds like something from google translate!

@abigfavor 8 жыл бұрын

What does the Jeb! say? stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff

@sarahkate8142 8 жыл бұрын

Hey! Those sentences are perfectly cromulent!

@leightonreese1832 8 жыл бұрын

Listening to that McCarthy guy attempt to speak hurt my brain

@ncdfan 8 жыл бұрын

Could not stop laughing at the McCarthy bit

@ibethangel 8 жыл бұрын

I laughed until my stomach hurt. I love that CBS has acquired everything that made the Colbert Report great, namely Stephen Colbert.

@sumairb9978 5 жыл бұрын

"Thomas Jefferson." - Ronald Reagan

@begrateful4208 8 жыл бұрын

Colbert still has it.

@joenarrf6501 8 жыл бұрын

Awesome!

@sambennie5160 8 жыл бұрын

#feelthebern

@sambennie5160 8 жыл бұрын

+Sam Bennie lol

@MikhailKalashnikovMiG 8 жыл бұрын

As an American, it is my constitutional right to bear arms and thus am against all forms of gun control. I mean, the government is corrupted and tyrannical, and being armed will protect me from said tyranny. I am unwilling to compromise my rights in any way even if it means the loss of innocent lives. Clearly, our country would be much safer if everyone was armed with a gun.

@flyinspirals 7 жыл бұрын

Mikhail Kalashnikov Should it come to that, having weapons will tell them who to shoot first.

@ziegfeld4131 6 жыл бұрын

what what you have a tank or fighter jet or an anti aircraft weapons bc otherwise a rifle wont do shit against the military

@sethsinatra 8 жыл бұрын

Speech is great of one.

@Buenomars 8 жыл бұрын

"My name is Jeb."

@ProfessorSyndicateFranklai 8 жыл бұрын

2:15, I believe it would be a bold Chinese at a funeral.

@tylertyler82 8 жыл бұрын

Not doing anything in the face of a crisis must be a Bush family trait, as his Brother Dubya sat in stone silence for 5 minutes after being told "the country is under attack."

@johnburt7935 8 жыл бұрын

"May God thank America and hello." Yes, that's it -- Kevin McCarthy is our first Bizarro-American Majority Leader! Not sure what world Boehner was from.

@akshayrao1672 8 жыл бұрын

Hungria, arch nemesis of Narnia!

@jupiterkansas 8 жыл бұрын

Sorry, but Jeb! is right. Government solutions in the aftermath of tragedy often leads to the worst legislation possible. Just look at the Patriot Act.

@Rodman200818 8 жыл бұрын

+Jupiter Kansas The difference is that this "stuff" (as Jeb! likes to put it) happens with frequency and is a trend, it is not an outlier event (there is a significantly higher rate of mass-shootings than any other advanced country). Perhaps legislation is needed to change the frequency and trend, after all, that is what a government is for.

@jupiterkansas 8 жыл бұрын

+Rodrigo García Álvarez Yes, legislation based on research and reason, not emotion and "anything to make it look like we're doing something."

@Rodman200818 8 жыл бұрын

Jupiter Kansas I know what you mean. That is why "rate" (of mass shootings) is the key word. Legislation based on research and reason would've (most likely) had gun policy change happen sooner as a way to combat the mass shooting frequency. Now you're still waiting for anything to be done.

@jupiterkansas 8 жыл бұрын

+Rodrigo García Álvarez Well it doesn't help that Congress has banned government agencies from doing research on gun violence. That would be a place to start.

@Rodman200818 8 жыл бұрын

Jupiter Kansas Seriously? That seems... odd. but there surely must be third party agencies (non affiliated) or institutions doing statistical analysis and research?