When the devil can't reach you, he sends a narcissist.
@gogoldiego4 жыл бұрын
This is right on, may I please use this as a quote?💛✌🇱🇷😇🙏
@gogoldiego4 жыл бұрын
@@AxllsFly thank you💛✌🇱🇷😇🙏
@adday.4 жыл бұрын
Did you come up with that? I love it!
@lisabaker38544 жыл бұрын
Absolutely brilliant wording and so true.
@Armz694 жыл бұрын
😭😭😭😭
@OwlKing6864 жыл бұрын
In short: THEY ABUSE YOUR PATIENCE.
@bobbiwilliam68114 жыл бұрын
TRUST is like a crystal glass that once it's broken its hard put the pieces back together and when you try to fix them, you might get puncture and get hurt. The crystal glass would never be the same no matter what, that is why it's important to apply wisdom when dealing with our partners and i believe smartness is essential in any relationship. I got help from (Cybertech-tracker) as he helped cloned my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone Text messages, Imessages, Facebook, Instagram, Whats-app, Skype, Kik, Twitter, Snap-chat, Email and social media chats without touching his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist but I'm glad to uncover his deceits, secrets and Infidelity. All I did was share his phone number with (cybertech-tracker) and i was able to read his recent and deleted messages from my phone without laying my hands on his phone and he has no idea his phone has been cloned. I was hurt when i saw a picture of my husband and his lover, i felt so bad about infidelity. I’m here in Australia and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in the UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable. Contact this great hacker via Gmail (cybertechtracker) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and Whats-app : +1 (202) 697-7171. Thank me, later...
@eagleeye23004 жыл бұрын
Just one of the many pathetic grabs for power by the narcissist. It will never end, it will never be okay. The longer you're in...the longer it will take you to heal once you get out. They need someone to hate, and trust me, they hate you.
@jengable48884 жыл бұрын
Thierry Nawar and waste an exorbitant amount of your time !
@echase4164 жыл бұрын
They also “Down-manage expectations”. Another manipulation tactic.
@jengable48884 жыл бұрын
They use you and screw you over.
@ivymichelle8913 жыл бұрын
The worst part is the sense of mourning you're left with when you finally leave the relationship...all the hopes and dreams you have to let go of cause they're never gonna happen.
@rhumimaher94703 жыл бұрын
You'll build your own dreams, real ones based on hope, not lies and manipulation.
@jenniferbruns24323 жыл бұрын
I am experiencing this now.
@carolrosales18963 жыл бұрын
I am slowly coming to terms with this.☹
@alleaufihreposition3 жыл бұрын
I feel this right now...😞
@melisentiapheiffer30343 жыл бұрын
It is horrific. I'm still recovering from it.
@LouLou.973 жыл бұрын
The worst part about future faking is that when the time comes, they gaslight the hell out of you by claiming they never said that
@tsitsih152 жыл бұрын
Or create a drastic lie. I was told his ex was pregnant with his child because he wanted to cancel our holiday and few days ago he said she is not pregnant
@minxcards37792 жыл бұрын
Omg true!!! Flip it onto u every time!!! Great pt
@carriebradshaw1682 жыл бұрын
So true! This is what we suffered from our manipulative mothet that twisted our minds and even created conflicts within us siblings
@jessicariddell19762 жыл бұрын
Or, they act like you weren't "patient enough" when giving them a more-than-ridiculously-generous timeline for them to complete a simple agreement. At this point, they may even follow through with it since now they have the incentive of "proving you wrong" by doing so and saying, "See? I was going to do it all along. You should feel bad for being so untrusting and impatient."
@selinarankin61122 жыл бұрын
Or they drop you at the last minute of moving in together because they run out of excuses .
@zarenjane70704 жыл бұрын
Honestly the biggest benefit of having a narcissistic ex is that you learn the lesson and you can spot any narcissistic like him/her and then run!
@jcat51004 жыл бұрын
True. I can smell the Bs even couple of miles from me hahahah
@amygleason2494 жыл бұрын
So freaking true!
@mikepierce28244 жыл бұрын
I’m mad at myself because I spotted it and eventually still let my guard down after enough love bombing :/
@KnightessAndHerNobleSteed4 жыл бұрын
@@mikepierce2824 me to
@v1any3774 жыл бұрын
True! I am so devastated by my recent break up. Then I started to talk to a therapist and found that my ex is a narcissist. Bumping into this video and reading your comment help me to get my sense back and see things clearly!
@echase4164 жыл бұрын
I feel like other than gaslighting, is one of the most exploitative and mentally abusive behaviours, that the Narcissist uses. If it wastes your Time, it’s wastes your Life...
@miriammoriarty85883 жыл бұрын
I learned this the very hard way after wasting 8 years of my life on a lying cheating man and losing my chance to have kids.
@pomdevulsky3 жыл бұрын
Yes. I lost 4 years of my 20s and it's still unbearable pain, can't imagine what it's like to spend even more time with future faking and gaslighting
@happydillpickle3 жыл бұрын
I wasted 10 years with a narcissistic psychopath. That was the word they used in the court psychological assessment: psychopath. I had been reading about so many different mental illnesses trying to work out what was wrong. As soon as I came across narcissistic personality disorder, it was like s light went on. I realized that this person not only would never change but that they actually thrived on making me utterly miserable. Freedom feels amazing. You do absolutely get over it, but not until that person is firmly out of the picture can the healing start.
@bereal65903 жыл бұрын
@@miriammoriarty8588 same ✌️🙏
@reelfly3 жыл бұрын
@@miriammoriarty8588 Same here. 😐
@CrispyFriedPickles3 жыл бұрын
“Am I leaving before they serve the cake?” YES, literally describes how I felt 😫 I can’t BELIEVE I fell for this
@gremlin46062 жыл бұрын
Its okay, try not to judge yourself for falling for the future faking. Remember they are the ones lying and creating illusions.. you simply didn’t know how how malicious they can be and led with trust and its nothing to be ashamed of❤️
@CrispyFriedPickles2 жыл бұрын
@@gremlin4606 Thank you 🥺❤️
@gisellenakandakari59432 жыл бұрын
I left at the third attempt. Don’t be too hard on yourself (I tell myself this too). What’s more important is that you finally realized about it, and you won’t go back to that person. I’m proud of you; some people really spend their entire lives with someone so wrong for them and never get that epiphany.
@sibelka19942 жыл бұрын
@@gisellenakandakari5943 i have tried 6 times so far. and every time i find the courage to confront him or simply yell "that's it i'm done" he literally tells me, all menacingly, with a sheepish smile on his face: "lol you tried to break up with me 6 times, you don't have it in you, i dare you to break up with me. even if you do you'll come running back"
@gisellenakandakari59432 жыл бұрын
@@sibelka1994 Well, that’s a sign he’s taking you for granted, and that he’ll never change. Prove him wrong, and this time don’t expect an answer from him. You don’t need to hear his retaliating words or what he thinks about it. Here’s a big trick that worked for me: Whenever you feel the urge to go back to him, ask yourself “Am I willing to spend THE REST OF MY LIFE with someone who treats me badly, who takes me for granted, who doesn’t love me?” (Put a huge emphasis on the “rest of my life” part). You only have one life, don’t waste it on someone who you know is not going to make your life better, who’s not contributing to your growth and gives you more trouble than happiness. Break-ups are hard (I broke up with mu ex last year), but if you don’t get rid of the bad people in your life, you’ll never make space for the people who truly deserve you. Sending you love and courage, you’re not alone.
@butterieflie2 жыл бұрын
“The small fakes always lead to larger ones”. When someone shows you their true colors: believe them.
@launabanauna89584 жыл бұрын
Future Faking plays on our versions of a “happily ever after,” which never happens with a narcissist. This is so cruel, to use people’s hopes, and dreams against them! It’s evil.
@YuckFou5023 жыл бұрын
Let's also admit that part of this equation is Disney (and the like). Capitalism is a vicious cycle but it does give us choice. Too bad earlier on in life, the choices are our parents'. Get yo kids off Disney+ people!
@NaeK1883 жыл бұрын
Marriage, children, a home and community = once I revealed these hopes and dreams, the future fakes were centered around this in the first 2 months of dating and I hated it. I kept telling him "Please don't. It's too soon. Please don't tease me like that." because that's what it felt like - teasing. Like he was dangling my deepest desires in front of me without consideration of how important they were. He spoke of it too soon and easily. They meant nothing to him. Absolutely crushing.
@leslieclark62373 жыл бұрын
Yep future fakes ... Like the ones the politicians use 🤔🤔🥺
@mtgoxwall3 жыл бұрын
@@YuckFou502 I have an adult male friend who enjoyed watching Disney productions into their 30's. They admitted to me once "I can manipulate anyone into anything" (not true, but shows how they think :|), that stuck with me. It took me years to realize they were a cancerous fake friend which needed to be removed and discarded for my own sanity. Don't put up with shitty evil fake friends. The longer you take to dispose, the harder the job will be.
@YuckFou5023 жыл бұрын
@@mtgoxwall for sure! The new mantra is "no excuse for abuse" but that's all our kids watch. Then we wonder why so many adults are abusive (physically or emotionally) and manipulative. I think the bigger issue is the parents who allow the tv to raise their children. They'll sell us whatever we buy
@notsheepish83044 жыл бұрын
Don't expect anything from them and you won't be disappointed
@alexismello87353 жыл бұрын
Exactly
@TLW3693 жыл бұрын
…This!
@hilaryjoseph97063 жыл бұрын
I'm learning
@Crazychick643 жыл бұрын
Now you tell me! lol
@torque633 жыл бұрын
Lower your expectations if you want to pretend to be happy. Married mine and she had a master's degree in education, she wouldn't take a job when she relocated because they didn't pay enough. She went back to college classes and had completed an additional masters and a PhD degree. She waited a whole year and a month to go back to find a job, she is making $17 and hour and 20 hours a week on her busy week. Guess the song and dance she gave me about earning a six figure income after graduating with a PhD was future faking at it's finest.
@sabrinachambers83533 жыл бұрын
“Hopes deferred makes the heart sick”
@leslielearnorth2 жыл бұрын
My life verse. How sad that the one who gives us hope, is the same who gaslights us as they take it away. Why didn't you let me go when I said I was done ? You did make good on every promise , you fulfilled the hope and enjoyed an active sex life. -------with someone else.⁷
@nisebiggs65722 жыл бұрын
But a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
@disco_b14657 күн бұрын
Preach
@KelsoFox2 жыл бұрын
"One of the main things that can keep ppl stuck in narcissistic relationships, is financial dependency." Which is why we need affordable housing and affordable child care, etc!
@reddaB2 жыл бұрын
Yep
@propheteyebert70632 жыл бұрын
Who's going to pay for it?
@KelsoFox2 жыл бұрын
@@propheteyebert7063 The rich who avoid taxes and the politicians who skim their share off the top. We could use taxes the way they were actually intended.
@propheteyebert70632 жыл бұрын
@@KelsoFox That won't bring in enough to meet demand. It will be necessary to increase tax on those who work hard. Soon no one would be motivated to work hard. Also, more women would be incentivized to make reckless mate selections, knowing that others will bail them out.
@vp47442 жыл бұрын
@@propheteyebert7063 I've already paid for it through my taxes and my lower hourly rate that is not keeping up with inflation. You're new to this shill game, aren't you?
@KiLLED56394 жыл бұрын
Dr. Ramani is saving my life. I thought I was going to become depressed again until I watched this video.
@therealbe3 жыл бұрын
She saved mine too. Literally. Thanks to stumbling upon her videos, I realized that I was being manipulated by an abusive narcissist and left. Looking back I may not have survived had I not left when I did.
@djdebusajustice32873 жыл бұрын
Get PROFESSIONAL HELP DEPRESSION CAN LEAD TO SUICIDE
@KiLLED56393 жыл бұрын
@@djdebusajustice3287 that was five months. everything is fine now. thank you for the advice.
@fjhaydn60473 жыл бұрын
Yes, I recommend her videos to others
@nicolebuteau63633 жыл бұрын
@@LBeeeeeee agreed, her videos are helping to keep me on track and stay focused as I try to dig out of my situation. So I don’t fall back into my hopelessness. Thank you Dr. Ramani 🙂
@exx63124 жыл бұрын
I learned much too late - after a 21 year marriage. I now know to listen and watch their actions not their words. Whomever said “actions speak louder than words” must have been dealing with a Narcissist.
@sparkygump4 жыл бұрын
Me too, after 23 years.
@angiesmith92934 жыл бұрын
Me too 21 years. It was all I could take!! God bless u sis.
@KittyClark44334 жыл бұрын
38yrs here. Glad u got out when u did
@phoenixmode69094 жыл бұрын
And yes! He used to do that to our kids too, when they were little. A lot of places promised that we never took them to.
@istateyourname47104 жыл бұрын
24 years for me. When I jumped back into the dating pool, I had done so much research into NPD~I knew to flee @ the first sign of any red flag.
@kjirovec3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Mom for teaching me to: 1) Work hard and to rely on myself not others. 2) Never lend money even if family or friend. 3) Never go into business with family or friends.
@lb17983 жыл бұрын
Great ADVICE!!!
@memeboisvert79072 жыл бұрын
A spouse is a partner - not a prince charming!
@trivendrakumarsingh57322 жыл бұрын
Hey Kathy
@taniamachin7662 жыл бұрын
100% my guy!!! 👏👏👏👏👍👍👍🏆🎖
@glendawoodward86233 жыл бұрын
“Put yourself in charge of your own dreams.”
@user-fk8rb8ue5h4 жыл бұрын
Oh, they are good at it. Lies and false promises. Then when it all starts to fall apart they gaslight you by saying it was all your idea and they were just going along with it.
@sunnydaye59424 жыл бұрын
Exactly!!!!! I Will pay you back when I get a job!!! Nope never happened.
@danieladeutsch17084 жыл бұрын
Exactly! Lies, lies in every aspect of your ife!
@Melodysupporter4 жыл бұрын
So accurate 😢
@lifewithjeanette81574 жыл бұрын
Wow! You described it so well!
@dennyhutsell49754 жыл бұрын
Umm. There are female narcissists too that practice this. I’m living proof of it. You can’t just place this disorder on one gender.
@ellenaeller33734 жыл бұрын
What I have learnt is to be careful what you share with people too soon.. when we first met narcissists, we tell them our dreams, goals, aspirations and they mirror us and pretend they want them same things as we do and we fall for it.
@crushhwa6314 жыл бұрын
Narcs will always try to get any personal information about you so they can be able to manipulate you well. Its the reason they hire flying monkeys. They look out for people that really know you so well. Try not to say anything to them. Even when they go ahead and ask the FMs they'll get false info. Hugs
@joseenoel80934 жыл бұрын
They cause us to fear our basic need, conversations!
@ladykdog17564 жыл бұрын
I trust No one who tries to get too close too fast, and no one who pays me too many compliments. It CREEPS ME OUT. They think its cause I'm a bitch from new jersey. Don't care what they think.
@bonniemendenhall98534 жыл бұрын
Amen! Lesson learned!!!!!
@themetamorphosisofgipsy4 жыл бұрын
@@ladykdog1756 Lol @ bitch from New Jersey 💛
@karenfreund50983 жыл бұрын
A narcissist can control someone with the use of fear even if it's just nonverbally communicated. When a person feels fear it shuts down the prefrontal cortex unable to think rationally.
@Twinmama1432 жыл бұрын
Yes. My ex did not communicate with me much and stayed quiet. But took control of our lives.
@melodieperkins70802 ай бұрын
Very true
@benderaviation3 жыл бұрын
Narc: "I'll call you back tomorrow" Me: "I wish you wouldn't"
@hope-lu9rj2 жыл бұрын
😀
@Life.Love.Locs.3 жыл бұрын
For me, the scary part of this was realising that my childhood literally set me up for this. Adults used to promise me things but not fulfil what they said they would. I got used to being let down and not taking people at their word, the inconsistencies and mixed messages. So as an adult this behaviour is familiar to me. I'm still learning what consistency looks and feels like... pray for me, y'all!
@derailingtraumabonds51813 жыл бұрын
Girl you got this, you are not alone. I too am dealing with my childhood traumas and moving past them and rewriting my future I felt obligated to create a page to help us come together and heal together watch and share your feedback sending you positive vibes and prayers kzfaq.info/get/bejne/iNGqgK972Ni0oXk.html
@livnyberg27213 жыл бұрын
Yes and if you even mention this to the narc abuser, they say ‘oh SEE. YOU are the one with trust issues because of your past. It’s not that I’m inconsistent....’ dangerous information to arm them with.
@JD-ny3vz3 жыл бұрын
You better go girl!
@starchildofthe90s73 жыл бұрын
Same my mom was like this and dad sometimes and it really set me up for future faking i fall for it everytime its sad embarrassing and depressing
@caterinaplatt98112 жыл бұрын
And I have adopted some of it as well. :( My Mom did it for years. I began to think it was normal rather than simply flaky.
@echase4164 жыл бұрын
Translation: ‘it’s never gonna be YOUR turn’.
@djdebusajustice32873 жыл бұрын
Right
@elaineeselun14053 жыл бұрын
So well put!
@elizabethgil41353 жыл бұрын
Omg I've said that so many times. " when does it get to be my turn?' To talk , to cry and to just show my emotions! Omg
@Pomoscorzo3 жыл бұрын
So true. 😔
@narcabusevictimgermany96873 жыл бұрын
Exactly
@christinestewart97343 жыл бұрын
He promised I was his priority at the beginning of the relationship, now I'm acused of complaining, nagging, I've even been insulted of being desperate at one time just by telling him my feelings and thoughts 🙄
@nicolewilson13423 жыл бұрын
Same
@Noname-dg3pm3 жыл бұрын
Ditto
@abbeydawes57863 жыл бұрын
I could have written this paragraph 😔
@KC83.243 жыл бұрын
Right. Anytime I try to communicate an emotion I’m “hassling , starting shit, or drama” then mean talking to me for daring to express how I felt about something.
@southchild_3 жыл бұрын
Definitely been there 😒 We asked for the bare minimum and they won't even give us that. I still remember when I was coming out of that relationship, a golden quote really helped me, which was something along the lines of "You're not asking for too much. You're asking the wrong person." I'm nearly 2 years into my 'new' relationship and it couldn't be more true! If your partner truly cares for you they will listen!
@RebeccaSmith-tk4zy3 жыл бұрын
"We just can't afford kids *right now*" kept me strung along for two decades.
@KiraNightshade2 жыл бұрын
Yup, it's one thing if both partners are uncertain or on the fence or agree on that after a real budget talk. But that by itself when one partner wants kids? Nah.
@vhiarose Жыл бұрын
Yep... strung along on that one too, even though we already had a ton of savings. It turned into "I don't think I actually want to have kids ever."
@phemyda944 жыл бұрын
They lie to themselves too. My psych professor says narcissists can be in danger of committing suicide later in life because as they get older it becomes harder and harder for them to keep deluding themselves about the grandiose future they'll have "someday".
@quasimobius4 жыл бұрын
My daughter's narc says "Someday soon...." and then conveniently forgets what he said. I'd throw a party if this monster took himself out before he does any more damage to her. I'm certain he's using hypnosis on her because she is only mirroring his desires at this point. Like Svengali's maiden, she no longer seems to have a will of her own.
@joseenoel80934 жыл бұрын
Covert mom better at killing us slowly/and not so softly than herself, that last drink of hers sure taken its time!
@joseenoel80934 жыл бұрын
@@quasimobius don't hold your breath, covert mom married a manic, would say "He can't last much longer", they ended up getting divorced, her in her 60's, him his 70's, together 23 yrs, she ended up being the demonic one. I never bothered meeting her 3rd husband.
@giasage60104 жыл бұрын
Let's all hope......
@saherjangdah52424 жыл бұрын
Or they would indulge themselves in Alcohol.... leading to become a full blown alcoholic
@lola_sand4 жыл бұрын
A lot of manipulative bosses use this tactic
@daveogarf4 жыл бұрын
Lola - DAMN RIGHT!
@andrelousada4 жыл бұрын
yes! It is sad!
@acharich4 жыл бұрын
👀👀👀
@djpacoelfuerte95314 жыл бұрын
Lola I’ve heard many bosses hire narcissistic people as supervisors and managers
@lola_sand4 жыл бұрын
DjPaco ELfuerte It’s deliberate? That is awful. I don’t under why would anyone want a narcissist reporting to them if hire one to manage others?
@harleyquinn57743 жыл бұрын
“If you do X for me, I’ll be your sister!” I desperately wanted a sisterly relationship with my sister. I grieved and buried that dream decades ago.
@KelsoFox2 жыл бұрын
I wish there were more videos on dealing with having a sister for a narcissist.
@dannaanna55572 жыл бұрын
Same. Sister: you've always been jealous of me. Me: 🤔 huh? Sister: you've always wanted everything I have and that rightfully belongs to me. Me: 🤔 huh? This was taking place while we were "trying" to discuss dividing my parents belongings after their deaths. Me being the empath and wanting to keep the peace... I basically let her get away with being unfair. She has dangled my parents jewelry in front of my face for nearly 10 years. Although, she didn't mention it... she knew, that I knew. Thanksgiving of 2019 at her house was the icing on the cake for me. She was so horrible toward my son and I. Which, by the way, she is jealous of my son.. her nephew 🤔 . It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I decided to go NO CONTACT from her. I gaslight myself, sometimes, thinking, "oh, She's not that bad." But, YES, SHE IS!!! The cruelty she and her family shows toward my son and I is heart breaking, sickening and downright a brain drain! No, more! I'm grateful to be seeing this. I grew up with this type of treatment from my mother and my sister. My dad was a narc enabler. I figure it was easier to punish me instead of dealing with the 2 narcs. Who knows? I'm just glad my eyes are open now. Thanks for these videos! ❤
@tiarablessed3 жыл бұрын
Wow this is crazy.. can’t believe I really feel for all this stuff. Crazy you don’t even know the person you were with.
@andreamagyar77764 жыл бұрын
Exactly,first sign is inconsistency.
@jcat51004 жыл бұрын
Yas grl!!
@andreamagyar77764 жыл бұрын
@@jcat5100 ☺
@jcat51004 жыл бұрын
When he upset, the plans change 😅🤣🤣🤣🤣
@andreamagyar77764 жыл бұрын
@@jcat5100 girl don't waste your energy, you balance☺
@jcat51004 жыл бұрын
@@andreamagyar7776 thanks Andrea. I already broke up with him about 3 months ago. Felt relieved I'm out but gotta be honest moving on isn't that easy. He tried to contact me thru a friend 2 days ago. So i didn't reach out to him. He's already been blocked on my socials
@jackgoodings4 жыл бұрын
We invest our energy, time, attention, commitments, resources, decisions, money, plans, our life .. we make all these life decisions that we otherwise would not have made .. and they move the goal posts and yank that rug from under our feet, and it is massively destructive
@ianmcnally85014 жыл бұрын
this is my sister if only you would do this we could have a great relationship! Then later well if you did that and this things could be great! It goes on and on...
@meredithheath52724 жыл бұрын
Yup- and "move the goal posts"!!
@nataliaalfonso26624 жыл бұрын
I’ve lost decades.
@joseenoel80934 жыл бұрын
Sure, where's the incentive to try after that... Don't the pipe, no wonder the waters are so polluted! ⏩💸🚻🚽🚮🚱🌊😅
@joseenoel80934 жыл бұрын
Future brain fraking.,..
@amelian96772 жыл бұрын
“You better get one last deep dish pizza cause you’re never coming home” 😂☠️ Dr. Ramani kills me.
@PissySkyKat3 жыл бұрын
A Narc's grandiosity isn't just in their high opinion of himself. It's also in his promises to you.
@user-sk9sp7pe4y3 жыл бұрын
Facts
@CG-no7js2 жыл бұрын
True!
@quoteme.goddess69574 жыл бұрын
I've been "future faked." We call it, "frontin'."
@skilindsavoy48704 жыл бұрын
I call it the same thing 🎶 "Ain't no future in your frontin' "
@malaikavida3 жыл бұрын
Straight frontin' fo sho!
@resilience4lyfe3313 жыл бұрын
Selling dreams.. chasing a cloud.. selling wolf cookies.. 😆
@nikkirose41243 жыл бұрын
Yes no future in your fronting
@TrappinNCappin3 жыл бұрын
No we call it “Capping” now
@lcozzarelli4 жыл бұрын
A psychological Ponzi scheme-great analogy!
@melfaller3 жыл бұрын
It's helpful to know this has a name. I called it the 'I'm gonnas'. My rule of thumb was: if ANYTHING started with "I'm gonna..." it was probably not going to happen. So happy to be free!!!!
@Chickabee12three2 жыл бұрын
'We will definitely .... ' is when I know it isnt going to happen !
@CG-no7js2 жыл бұрын
Narc high up construction boss husband always promised to fix 150 yr old home, “I’ll fix it or I know/will hire a guy or (constr. Co.) to fix…” never fixed home in 23+ years! He let home fall apart! But always bragged about his job!
@hyorirocks3 жыл бұрын
Thank you dr Ramani, I was in an LDR with a narcissist. My ex used this technique so often to keep me in the relationship, I was so miserable towards the end of my relationship. My narcissistic ex literally created a vacuum in my life in the present, while constantly future faking about the things I wanted in my life. So glad it’s over
@elmaelma13503 жыл бұрын
Same 🤲🏻
@drmarysomers3 жыл бұрын
This. All of this. I’m so glad you’re out of it, too.
@ofentsemohapi73383 жыл бұрын
Me too I was mentally exhausted from having to follow up on all the promises he made.
@miyuuuubi2 жыл бұрын
I was also in an LDR and he got me because of future faking. Turns out he’s very opposite from it. Scary when i think about it.
@sakshijogdand80532 жыл бұрын
Same. He kept saying he will come to see me and before we ended it had already been 3 years since we met and then I realised he had been cheating on me since 2½ years
@xenatron90564 жыл бұрын
As hard as it is to do, you have to learn to leave the table when love is no longer being served.
@knowledgeseeker27763 жыл бұрын
Preach!!!
@dominelle81393 жыл бұрын
Love that analogy.
@ddbrown52714 жыл бұрын
Been there! I really thought he wanted to get married. He sold promises so well and even told everyone else about it. His actions told a different story. Narcissists are truly something else. They future fake, and then play the victim.
@seaglass80844 жыл бұрын
Domonique Brown that victim flip though, breakneck blindside
@jadekay083 жыл бұрын
So SELFISH and messed up 😡
@derailingtraumabonds51813 жыл бұрын
Metoo girl, he still tells everyone he wanted to marry smh...if you are still healing check this out and give me feedback kzfaq.info/get/bejne/iNGqgK972Ni0oXk.html
@________15162 жыл бұрын
ohh man
@miyuuuubi2 жыл бұрын
Worst is when all your friends believe he’s the kindest person on earth. When i asked our friend if its normal for a bf to joke about strangling me, he said its not but for him my bf is still the kindest ever 😢
@kyshac813 жыл бұрын
This happened to me. I lost my job, and was pursuing my own business, he promised to pay for everything, and he did. But I dealt with so much disrespect from him and emotional abuse.
@roselarouge91073 жыл бұрын
Mine wanted me to stay home with the kids, but was controlling and abusive in every way because Im lazy and he’s a meal ticket. I never thought that, i thought I had a partner. I was exhausted with three children in 3 years, he wanted more…so I got a job….he hated that I wasn’t home…so he embarrassed me daily at work. They asked me to leave because they knew he couldn’t be asked to be respectful.
@dollybearzz84012 жыл бұрын
Always keep your hopes, dreams and intentions close to your heart, no matter who you are talking with. Whether it’s a friend, family member, ‘friendly’ neighbour, or that stranger chatting to you at the bus stop. If you’re in doubt about the intentions of whoever, drop a ‘red herring’ into your conversation; you’ll find out soon enough who you can trust!
@Anonymous-dh2lt2 жыл бұрын
"I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams." I always remember these words from a poem, and now I wonder why. Could be to do with having narcissistic family members.
@jazwhoaskedforthis2 жыл бұрын
Truly. I think the idea behind the evil eye charms makes sense. Even seemingly nice people may not want to see you succeed or heal, or they'll covet what you're building for yourself. That or they'll just talk shit and wait for your downfall.
@pamelas.82494 жыл бұрын
Would like to know what to do with a future faking narcisisst? He told me he would take me to Thailand in summer (which was my dream) and he draw something magic.. the summer came, and of course he did not take me.. So I went alone and told him only a few days before flight 😉 He was extremely angry 😂 And no, I would never behave like this to a kind or normal man. Short after my return we were no longer a couple, which was GOOD.
@btaylor12644 жыл бұрын
Pamela S. I love that story
@quasimobius4 жыл бұрын
Bravo !
@BrendaBaBoom4 жыл бұрын
You GOT him good. Bravo 🌷
@merlinsvdd4 жыл бұрын
😆😆😆
@FirehorseG4 жыл бұрын
Fabulous. Well done for sniffing out this Narcissist loser.
@JesusJesusJesus7774 жыл бұрын
You will always be the one to compromise. Then when the moment arrives and its time for the narcissist to "pay up" on there promise, they will turn it on you as if "your being selfish", "They don't remember", "They didn't mean it like that," ect. So you feel like crap and eventually compromise ONCE AGAIN!
@neowise34804 жыл бұрын
So absolutely true. Or they will minimise the compromise you made and make it trivial so they don't have to worry about keeping their side.
@rebeccam18424 жыл бұрын
I was always selfish in his eyes because I expected what he promised.
@guguigugu4 жыл бұрын
you will NEVER get anything. its always TAKING!
@serenamoon41693 жыл бұрын
yesss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@jasnist3 жыл бұрын
Exactly! Thank you for pointing that out!
@jannlewandowski55402 жыл бұрын
OMG! You just described my whole 5 year relationship! He asked me to marry him and I accepted. This was after a year together. He wanted a child, etc.. long story short, after 5 years he NEVER WANTED to plan the wedding, never wanted to go HOUSE HUNTING, HE JUST KEPT SAYING, "OH, DON'T WORRY, WE WILL." It never happened. I finally left him. I was USED and never knew it .My friends did warn me...Geeez.. YOU ARE GREAT! ❤
@chelini2602 жыл бұрын
My mind is blown. This explains so much. I had no idea future faking was even a part of this cycle. Just wow.
@therealbe4 жыл бұрын
This was my ex to a T. I moved to another country to start a life with him. Total 90 day fiance stuff. I sold my apartment, car, and furniture. The contents left of my life fit into three suitcases. Within 6 months he had burned through my savings. He was manipulative, controlling and abusive. In the end I lost EVERYTHING. He gained money and possessions from our marriage while I lost everything I had (including my dignity). Don't ever let go of your independence people. The only person you can truly rely on is yourself.
@dagmaraxxx38503 жыл бұрын
Mine was going to move to be here with me. So I paid off his debts and now I’m £20k down and he’s over there happy. I can’t believe I was so stupid.
@nancya43143 жыл бұрын
Me too.
@elaineeselun14053 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing. Love and light to you.
@miriammoriarty85883 жыл бұрын
That sounds horrible I'm so sorry you were put through that.
@miriammoriarty85883 жыл бұрын
@@therealbe I have to say I'm very wary of men after a horror decade of long term relationships, including 8 years with a lying, cheating suspected narcissist. Think I'll be single for a while!
@NehuAbhay3 жыл бұрын
THIS is what keeps narcissistic relationships going. Just THIS.
@shalinimathur401 Жыл бұрын
Absolutely
@torimitchell45572 жыл бұрын
I remember with my ex after our first fight, he told me all he wanted was to give me a house one day and be the one to buy my first car, and support me. A year later my life started crumbling where I lost my dad, owed my school thousands and couldn’t take classes until I paid them, and no food in my fridge. I got into an argument with him after when I told him I felt like he wasn’t emotionally there for me. He accused me of being ungrateful (even tho he would never ask me how I was doing or how he could be there for me). I brought up the fact that he once promised me a fulfilled future, in which he responded “oh you just want material stuff”. Needless to say, we broke up, I bought my first car, and am back in school after paying my classes on my own. I didn’t need a man financially, but don’t promise me the world to try to make me happy and then give me nothing, even emotionally.
@Jachimma2 жыл бұрын
Watched this about a year ago. Nothing promised has materialised. I'm glad I made the necessary changes and continued following my dreams 🙏
@petiepab1234 жыл бұрын
I think this concept is, in some ways, the other side of the "love bombing" coin. They heap gestures/deeds/etc upon you that you dont want and DEFINITELY didn't ask for, and by virtue of this, not only box you in with obligation but are now also immune from FUTURE scrutiny because they have "already demonstrated their intrinsic goodness." That puts it back on you, that YOU are a selfish, unforgiving person for not looking beyond their " spontaneous human flaws" when in reality, it is ALL a web that you're stuck in...
@SueP-D4 жыл бұрын
👏🏼👏🏼 Absolutely
@melissaleak72414 жыл бұрын
You Explained this to the letter...llusion magicians! Will make your head spin, chest explode, stuck in devastation. Must avoid at all costs.
@lpeacelovefaith95664 жыл бұрын
Pete Salvano yes absolutely!
@kakestuff42674 жыл бұрын
This is exactly how it is for me! Thank you for the words I couldn't find
@kaitlynerhart34454 жыл бұрын
Sometimes I wish I could give Doctor Ramani a hug for how well she reflects back what I am experiencing
@sacueva3 жыл бұрын
you just described what i feel when i watch her videos, i just didn't know it.
@ResearchThis2 жыл бұрын
Oh me too. She makes sense of me and what I've been through, to me. It's so comforting and life-changing, she helps me heal and I wish I could repay her somehow.
@samanthastewart51722 жыл бұрын
Absolutely agree. She's a life saver
@jillyoung12822 жыл бұрын
Me too!
@lb17982 жыл бұрын
Meeeeeee TOOOOOOOOO!
@sunnyskyacres3 жыл бұрын
One time my husband and I were in the car and he pulled in to the parking lot of the hotel that we stayed at for our honeymoon. I was so surprised and couldn’t believe that he had done that. He then said to me, “one day I’m going to pull in to this parking lot and surprise you with a weekend getaway, just us” He then proceeded to drive away back to our home. That was almost 7 years ago. Just one of the many, many examples of future faking that has occurred in our relationship.
@grendelsmama23023 жыл бұрын
This is horrible... I would have ended up on TruTV
@KO-D00M3 жыл бұрын
That’s unnecessarily disrespectful! And for what? What a ridiculous mentality just to watch someone’s hopes get shot down.
@sunnyskyacres3 жыл бұрын
@@grendelsmama2302 it was horrible. And after many year of abuse, I filed for divorce last week. I can’t believe it! I never thought I could. I’m scared but also very hopeful for the future.
@sunnyskyacres3 жыл бұрын
@@KO-D00M yes, it’s a sick game. But after 13 years of abuse I filed for divorce last week. These videos have been helping me more than I can describe. I always felt like things would eventually get better. They have only gotten worse. Way worse.
@grendelsmama23023 жыл бұрын
@@sunnyskyacres omg!!! The world just opened up for you! Enjoy every moment of your new found freedom and honor yourself in the most extravagant ways. Your time is now ❤️
@wifeofhusband93783 жыл бұрын
I just love how you talk. Your voice, how personable you are.
@scottlopez98224 жыл бұрын
“I’m married to you in my heart,” she said. After dragging out our “engagement” for years. Of course, it never happened. That’s why she’s my ex.
@teresaz71523 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry.💝
@SuckerPunch923 жыл бұрын
Oh my gosh my ex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Geez. I’m sorry to you went through that
@sharilyon59833 жыл бұрын
Scott Lopez, So glad you figured her out before it was too late.
@jimmywoodward63393 жыл бұрын
Wow, those words are like a blast to my soul - "I'm married to you in my heart," I've hear variations on that day after day, "in my mind i've forgiven him," "in my mind I interact with others," "it isn't my intention to hurt your feelings," (after saying she will do something for me time and time again and never delivering). I am responsible though because I keep going back. I feel like an addict, I behave like one. Anyway thank you for sharing Scott!
@sylviakelly29762 жыл бұрын
Oh my. Sorry Scott. My ex narc did buy a home for 'US' yet excuse after excuse after excuse to delay the wedding date. We had 38 more days to go before the ceremony date....yet I had not been able to make a single solitary arrangement because he 'was not ready' yet. No 'fun' as a fiance as planning phase was stifled. I should have learned after the first round fake out. He was back and forth earlier this year trying to follow through w/ buying an updated home, and deciding if he was ready to get married. We had known each other for three years. Narcissists truly NEVER CHANGE. Not easy to leave- but no contact is the way to go. Married life would have been miserable .
@kathy-annhart26324 жыл бұрын
On my 2nd round of watching this video, I realized something I didn't before. The future they're faking is based on a promise that binds you to the narcissist. So the thing in the future keeps you around as possible supply.
@miyuuuubi2 жыл бұрын
Shit this scares me its true. He said we are for forever but the first one to flake when we have misunderstandings. He wont say anything he’ll just leave for 2-5 days then come back as if nothing happened
@memeboisvert79072 жыл бұрын
I went from a full time working person to being home full time making all his meals and taking care of his life. I thought it was him taking care of ME. OMG. When I left he immediately went after some low hanging fruit and now SHE takes care of him and does all his cooking and caregiving. She thinks she's a princess! I'm not sure he told her he's actually at bankruptcy.
@jessicariddell19762 жыл бұрын
It is an excellent tactic. False hope is very powerful.
@ssmith51272 жыл бұрын
@@memeboisvert7907 - They are ALWAYS watching the low hanging fruit and they are ALWAYS at the edge of a financial cliff. It isn't at all uncommon for them to not tumble over the cliff because of the strength of the bleeding fingers of their victims clawing the ground trying to support them. But dang if they don't look good from a distance, right? Appearance is everything. Substance is nothing. On the plus side... The low hanging fruit doesn't usually claw the ground to support them. And the low hanging fruit will usually eat them when they fall. 😊
@propheteyebert70632 жыл бұрын
@@memeboisvert7907 Did he tell you to stay home and take care of him, and did he take care of you financially?
@Star-pl1xs3 жыл бұрын
this is one of the most validating & reassuring videos ive ever seen
@embrianne22863 жыл бұрын
Skip ahead a few years, in December 2018 this guy came into my life again. Telling me that he misses me and that he fucked up. That he’s not longer a hoe and asking for a second chance. He went on and on apologizing for his past behavior and that he can see a true future with me. At this point it was one in the morning, and I was still heart broken and vulnerable from when we ended things in the past, so I said yes. (This is also the first time he has ever apologized to me, so I got to thinking “he’s changing.)” Well, within a month of dating he started to just distance again. I asked him what’s up and all he said was that he’ll just never be the man I want him to be. And that was that. I allowed him back into my life for him just for him to leave within a month.
@sylviakelly29762 жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing Em. It was about 6 months for me in reconnecting with my ex- narc. More love bombing, fake future crap... Today is a week since I left him...no contact FOREVER! So glad the future wedding 'idea' WAS FAKE! ..
@spencershao79402 жыл бұрын
Don't ever let him back in your life. Even with a healthy relationship, you break up for a reason, and if you get back together, the same problems are often still there.
@nicolenuhfer2 жыл бұрын
Please tell me you live in Fla?? Same exact story here.
@tword72 жыл бұрын
Sounds like he at least wants the right things. Heart is willing but flesh is weak. This time I give him props for at least admitting it’s him and not you. I hope you both find happiness
@Rickettsia505 Жыл бұрын
At least he's gone now!
@tanyagreentarot4 жыл бұрын
‘Am I leaving before they serve the cake’ - thats exactly it 😅
@eleanorfromholland16084 жыл бұрын
And there isn’t even a cake. Even there cake is fake!!
@vettemuziekjes4 жыл бұрын
Cake : kzfaq.info/get/bejne/nJ-idriCz9PPqIk.html
@Anna-mv9ew4 жыл бұрын
The Cake Is A Lie! kzfaq.info/get/bejne/p8qippaY18Wrcac.html
@joeblow96573 жыл бұрын
Well, the cake never comes so tehcnically you're always leaving before cake.
@katarinatibai83963 жыл бұрын
If there will be one cake - don't eat it - it will be poisened - 🥶🥶🥶
@clear_blue_sky3 жыл бұрын
"I'll call you tomorrow" and never will call is the narcissist's basic skill! Run for your life from such a person, a friend, a relative etc .. it's a promise that will become a lie.
@paddycraig3 жыл бұрын
This is a bit much, a lot of people like myself are on the spectrum or a typical, your narrow view of this trait is not founded in anything other than your own annoyance and hurt that someone did it to you. Your pet peeves isn't a greater truth. Some people are overwhelmed by the constant contact that cellphones force upon on us in this lifetime.
@MorningUniverse3 жыл бұрын
My other son, ends every single call with, " I will call you tomorrow " then months or years pass. Never knew this horrible habit had a name: future faking!
@michignamymichigan2 жыл бұрын
@@paddycraig Our annoyances, our feelings, our preferences, are all valid and real. The lies and manipulations of the narc are also real.
@benhawk42142 жыл бұрын
@@michignamymichigan what isnt real is a one size fit all diagnosis over something so minor as not calling when you say you are once or twice
@hannahmiller55153 жыл бұрын
I've been financially dependent on narcissist most of my life. Went from parents to narcissist boyfriend's. I need financial independence.
@Noelleinanutshell4 жыл бұрын
You legit save me from texting my narcissist
@mpbsac3 жыл бұрын
"Put yourself in charge of your own dreams." 🙏🏼❤
@sarahbelzer61243 жыл бұрын
I want to add based on my experiences: Narcissists not only can make you financially dependent on them, but they also can become financially dependent on you, to where you feel obligated to take care of them and don't want to screw them over. Also, along with the false promises- when the things i want to happen actually happen, it's because -I had to be the one to make it happen (ex: paying for vacations) -or if HE decided it was important enough for him to follow through with AND if the things actually happen that I want to happen, it's never as great as I wanted it to be built up in my head. There was such a disconnect, where I felt like I should be happy, but why do I feel like this still?
@judithgannon5642 Жыл бұрын
I was wondering where these narcissists were who spent money on someone else. Resources usually flow toward them.
@longdoan183 жыл бұрын
My heart aches after I watched this video. I'm not scared of death, I'm not scared of the worst natural disasters; I'm scared of those narcissists behind the angelic facade and how have they integrated everything worst based in fear and vengefulness into this world. God bless us all.
@jackgoodings4 жыл бұрын
Deception, hugely. It ought to be a crime .. because its the worst type of scamming
@MsLuvmusic814 жыл бұрын
they have criminal pathology! if you push them far enough they will even kill - sick and disgusting
@meredithheath52724 жыл бұрын
Yup - exactly what it is - a scam
@joseenoel80934 жыл бұрын
They get our love and it's the very last thing they're worthy of!
@acharich4 жыл бұрын
💯💯💯
@dwcomedyshorts1514 жыл бұрын
@serendipidus1 better for people to stand against it, speak up, than to allow for any law or government involvement to be the solution.
@floramarchioro95964 жыл бұрын
My ex boyfriend, who cheated on me multiple times after 1 year of relationship (with one of his ex girlfriends, some random girls, and even his best friend's girlfriend ewww), put an alarm on May 2019 to ask me to marry him one year later. Thanks god he cheated on me in the past months. All those girls did me a HUGE favour.
@crystalstrader98063 жыл бұрын
This is the most evil and devastating aspect of narcissism. Of all the ways a narcissist manipulates, to prey on a person’s hopes and dreams is unconscionable.
@dwilliams73773 жыл бұрын
“Don’t get married in college or we won’t pay for your tuition.” Guess who still has student loans after being an obedient daughter? Never again.
@rhamm24694 жыл бұрын
Married to 1 28 years !! Then dated one briefly- 2 weeks in “quit your job & move in with me” - “ just work for me “ “I’ll buy you this , take you on trips wherever you want to go” -- RED FLAGS 🚩
@businessdetermined47733 жыл бұрын
I mean definitely broken promises over and over : ill take you to an island. We can go to a cabin. We can get married. We can have everything we ever wanted. Crock of bullshit.
@heatherlomaxmusic47764 жыл бұрын
This is SCARY accurate, they make their promises, and never follow through while expecting you to drop everything to attend to them “NOW”. Little do we know how common these behaviors are with most narcissists, until realizing their games are usually the same across the board. 🙄 Thanks again Dr. Ramani, always ringing true!
@moptop43554 жыл бұрын
Heather Lomax Music I felt that “NOW” on a personal level. It really is accurate. I dropped so many things and became an assistant to a friend somehow.
@taslimaishmael15984 жыл бұрын
When my narc was sick, I took days off work to take care of him. At the end of it his response was...instead of thank you..."don't you have anything to do with yourself?"
@jadekay083 жыл бұрын
Yup!!!! You MUST put them first in everything!
@EELClove983 жыл бұрын
oh my god thank you for this. i used to feel so insane whenever my ex would promise to see me all week and then back out that day, and id be a sobbing mess over it. it was just this thing i got so used to.
@miyuuuubi2 жыл бұрын
I feel you 🥲 he does this to me all the time, he would cancel at the last minute always. MINUTE i aint kidding. Sometimes 5mins before the plan. Its so rude and dehumanizing and disrespecting. Then when i cry and ask why and get mad and confused he’d tell me im over dramatic
@monicadhlamini20193 жыл бұрын
The amazing part is that my discovery of what "Narcissism" is has confirmed a lot of things that I had already red- flagged and termed but couldn't understand why they were happening. Even unknowingly used psychological jargon to explain his behaviour during arguments. Our First arguments were around the lack of following through with promises, and not being sorry for letting me down on failed plans. He couldn't understand why I was so disappointed, almost like I should have known it was just all talk. He then started a new trend, not promising anything to prevent me from following-up on anything, holding him accountable.
@roselarouge91073 жыл бұрын
Oh! Accountability… if I even asked for this I was a horrible stupid person!
@jazwhoaskedforthis2 жыл бұрын
Funny how they're capable of change, but only the change that serves them
@naseemm29304 жыл бұрын
The best thing you can do is take everything the narcissist says with a grain of salt. Chances are, they don’t mean what they say.
@MsLuvmusic814 жыл бұрын
oh yeah everything has to be taken with a grain of salt
@joseenoel80934 жыл бұрын
A ha a ha a haha ha ha, good one but April Fool's has past, and, if you believe that you've 3 weeks of April to go!
@joseenoel80934 жыл бұрын
@@MsLuvmusic81 Yes so their crap goes down smoother, defending a narc = future sucker punch 👊 for you! Believe it!
@saijanaswamy72104 жыл бұрын
Correction: they never mean what they say. Its all a joke to them. A game. For control and manioulation. They don't care. They only want their supply and will keep feeding whatever bullshit as long as they get what they want.
@gingerrogers75274 жыл бұрын
@@saijanaswamy7210 You're absolutely right.
@ShrimpPerr4 жыл бұрын
When I knew 💯 the relationship was over, he was promising a family, marriage, and a honeymoon in Hawaii 🤦🏽♀️ This hurt the most knowing it was just grasping at anything he could get.
@DynamiteDezzy4 жыл бұрын
They'll do anything & saying anything to hoover you back in, especially once they know you've finally found inner strength/power to move on from there BS, they HATE it when person goes NO contact lol. Women i was in long distance relationship with , she used/got her teen son recently to contact me on xbox because ive blocked her on everything 3+weeks ago to say shes got stage 4 Cervix Cancer😱(complete BS btw as she's had zero treatment since & perfectly fine). They'll try find way to tug at your heart strings to draw,suck you back in as they know normal people have emapthy, emotion etc unlike them😒
@phoenixmode69094 жыл бұрын
Yes. Married 36 years. Was promised a honeymoon ALL THESE YEARS. Hasn't materialized yet.🤨 Dont expect it to. He's lied about vacations and trips all these years.....never gonna happen. I'm just going to start going places by myself!
@DynamiteDezzy4 жыл бұрын
@@phoenixmode6909 36 years😰😰😰omg Nooooo that's so long. It still makes me so sad every time i read post like yours & coming to bitter realisation just how many people out there who've been bamboozled, tricked,duped into the long haul having kids , marriage with a Narcissist.😐 Month's after finding this channel am so glad more than ever i didn't immigrate to my ex's country & get engaged/married/get her pregnant etc & ruin my life potentially. Please get out of the marriage if you can , there's nothing more soul detroying being in a loveless, passionless & unappreciative, inattentive marriage/relationship.😪
@echase4164 жыл бұрын
....’buying a house’, ‘getting married’, etc...
@TheFaro20113 жыл бұрын
Lol I got this. House, holidays, blah. Now he's giving it to next woman. Don't even care. I'm just glad I'm out
@ann-mariequigley29443 жыл бұрын
I'm so sad my daughter is 25 and now married this person. I am heartbroken and I see her time and years being wasted by this man..😲 So insightful Dr Ramani and every time I listen I see the signs...I pray to God my daughter is rescued from this terrible situation and life situation.🙏
@lillydragon25253 жыл бұрын
I so understand. My son married a narc. In the end she left him dying on the floor for most of a day. It was all about the trust fund we had set up for him. We had set it up to go to his brother if anything happened. She sued us for the trust after he was gone. She did not get the trust but she did get the house we had bought for him. She is pure evil.
@christianpulisic77843 жыл бұрын
Ann-marie Quigley, Sorry to hear that,I think she deserves better 🙏🙏🙏
@ann-mariequigley29443 жыл бұрын
@@christianpulisic7784 she does and thank you.🙏
@ann-mariequigley29443 жыл бұрын
@@lillydragon2525 We are scared of this kind of thing too. And getting a will done to prevent any monies going to my daughters partner. Fir us this is a heartbreaking situation.🙏
@christianpulisic77843 жыл бұрын
@@ann-mariequigley2944 You are welcome dearest 🌹 🌷🌹🌹.I am Christian from the States.You?
@jessicagomez38753 жыл бұрын
I listen to your videos everyday at lunch whilst I’m walking my dog to the beach!! They have helped me more than therapy!! Your so good at explaining how narcissists are!!
@sophiasebring66924 жыл бұрын
Him: 'I'll call you this week" Me: I called him out for not calling... Him: "my bad, you should have reminded me" Me: I didn't think I needed to remind someone to want to talked to me Him: "I had a really stressful week, I wasn't focused on that" All he had to do was apologize and say I'm really sorry, I'll call you soon...They NEVER apologize
@Jane-gt6ef4 жыл бұрын
They always have excuses, don't they... But only for themselves.
@Freethinker2254 жыл бұрын
Oh god. My heart broke reading this. This kind of unkindness gets so so deep and buried in doubt and self blame. Glad you’re free 🙏🏻
@sarahhamelinck95374 жыл бұрын
😂 I know someone who does this to everyone they know. Yet somehow everyone keeps talking to them.
@amandacausey94504 жыл бұрын
OR they apologize and then act like you are unreasonable
@rebeccam18424 жыл бұрын
Mine apologized only when he felt he did wrong. So I didn't think I was with a narcissist. I think he only said sorry because it's something I wanted to hear.
@BorneTrue4 жыл бұрын
I was in a long-term (six year) relationship with a narcissistic. When I was fed up with the toying around with loving me and wanting to be together or not I asked if he even wanted to live together anymore and did he see this even going anywhere. I was tired of feeling like I was on a seesaw. At the time, I wanted him to fight for me to remain in his life. He didn’t, and I made my plans and moved out and into my own apartment. Just about a week after moving and being alone, feeling rejected and unworthy of anyone’s care at that point, he started to reach out to me again. I was so happy that he seemed to come around and was finally treating me the way I had always hoped. This is when the “love bombing” began all over again like it had in the first three months of our relationship. The “future faking” was heavily thrown around as he recalled my desire to get married and have children someday. He’d realized he was losing grip on me and was trying to reel me back in. Oh, how he did! I was having a difficult time believing how he had changed so much over a few short weeks but he just kept say the right things and earning my trust again. I was thinking, “wow, the heart really does grow fonder”. Just a few short months later, he popped the question with a ridiculously expensive and big engagement ring, that he later told me that it was bought with his credit card, he made sure I knew the retail value and so on, only to throw in my face later on when we went through some financial hardships. To set the record straight, I had never wanted an expensive ring but I was never consulted so that’s on him anyways. Oh silly me, getting sucked right back into the traps that I would later realize and have since left for good. I hope anyone reading this who was or is currently in a narcissistic relationship can take these words to heart; please listen to your gut instincts, if it doesn’t sound right, seem right or feel right, step back and re-evaluate. Make a plan for your escape and move forward living well and happier once more 💕
@katrinab59753 жыл бұрын
Wow ! You NAILED it in this video. This is exactly why after the discard the feeling is not like any other breakup. They literally take pleasure in watching someone else's dreams go down the toilet. In a normal relationship your dreams and future goals do not go away with the person. This is exactly why its devastating. Excellent video. Best advise too NEVER attach your dreams solely to another person!
@shudgens903 жыл бұрын
The future faking is exactly why I stayed so long. I had so much hope for family and marriage and success..
@christianpulisic77843 жыл бұрын
Savannah Hudgens,You don't deserve to be with a narc 😈 cause you are beautiful 🌹🌺🌺
@Melodysupporter4 жыл бұрын
I realized that trying to talk to them is a waste of time I tried with logic, I tried with emotions, but nothing I ended up ordering him "I want us to call now" but I only received the same answers: "when I'm free", "I'll see when i have time", "next week" I felt like I was running and running to catch him... It was so frustrating
@rohithreddy754 жыл бұрын
CandyDFighter When you dont want to talk to a narcissist just ask them for money and they'll disappear :P
@Jasmin85044 жыл бұрын
The same thing happened to me. Always says "not now Let's talk later " " When I think " .... in the important things in our lives that make me feel so exhausted running to him all the time
@joywebster26783 жыл бұрын
Mine calls me when he "has to pee" so any conversation where I'm trying to convey needed info. Its riddled with, ok gotta pee, really gotta pee, I ask him to pee before call, but oh gee he would get distracted and forget to call if he did that. Its ridiculous. U don't wanna talk , don't call.
@jloren46473 жыл бұрын
@@joywebster2678 If they have to go into the bathroom to speak with you, you have much more serious issues. That wasn't a joke. Think about it.
@joywebster26783 жыл бұрын
@@jloren4647 he isnt calling from in the bathroom read my comment......he is at his condo, or in his car. His excuse for not conversing is he has to go pee. He is likely lying or maybe does have to go but calls me before to have excuse to shut call down fast. Nothing I said indicated he was in Any bathroom
@katim26444 жыл бұрын
"If you would just stop pressuring me into a relationship I am not ready for, then I could discover who I really am and what I want. I just need your support and if you loved me you would do that. Then I will be free to love you and give you the attention you deserve because you have my heart!" ANYONE?
@bliepblooper25554 жыл бұрын
Oh god. Yes, she told me I still had her heart after she broke up with me. But what she really wanted, was to go after her new 'friend' that I didn't need to worry about.
@hauntedgreeneyes59614 жыл бұрын
Yes or how about them saying let's not label anything because I take things really slow...(mind you a whole year of dangling the prize in front of my face only to repeatedly snatch it away). I was hoovered several times because I had hope. He would say things to me like we should take a vacation or I was going to invite you on my family vacation but you blocked me...yeah right....all future faking bs. Ugh....what a waste of my time.
@quietvalerie14 жыл бұрын
Yep....I was strung along for 3 years until I finally went complete no contact.
@hauntedgreeneyes59614 жыл бұрын
@@quietvalerie1 that couldn't have been easy! Dam girl 3 years.
@quietvalerie14 жыл бұрын
@@hauntedgreeneyes5961 thanks for seeing me! It was a huge learning curve for sure. That's the positive I took from it as it pushed me to address my own issues and become a stronger wiser person myself. I've embraced therapy, singlehood, and self exploration since then. 😊❤
@dianetgomez74102 жыл бұрын
I totally believed him and I stayed way longer than I should have. I just recently discovered that there is a name for what they do “future faking” it’s crazy how manipulative they are and it blows my mind. It’s hard to understand how their minds work. Thank you for all your wisdom and helping me understand that it’s not me and that I’m not crazy.
@tierneylogan59432 жыл бұрын
My father would promise money or material items, never follow through, and then act like I was greedy, ungrateful , and spoiled when i reminded him. I’m 47 and finally figured it out .
@maroua72074 жыл бұрын
I stayed 6 years in a relationship just because I loved him and I wanted to have a family with him. He knew how to manipulate me for so long
@stephanidawncarter71253 жыл бұрын
I am sorry that you went through this does it get any better? Do they ever just stop trying to destroy you
@kathybrown66783 жыл бұрын
OMG You just described my entire marriage!!! 17 years of broken promises to myself and my children. Thank you for teaching how to avoid these bastards.
@lioydwilliams18503 жыл бұрын
Kathy Brown,I admire your lovely smile
@roselarouge91073 жыл бұрын
Same
@intellifly7473 жыл бұрын
With all due respect. As men we want to keep our partners happy. I have lost relationships because I do not future fake at all. I always say I will only promise something if I am 100% guaranteed that I can deliver it. Thousands of people make commitments on a daily basis and never reach them. This almost forces men over time who have learnt that they should create these auras around them with possible dreams because their female more emotional partners crave that. I will continue to refuse future faking to enhance a relationship. The ones who can't trust my integrity can leave. It seems like all my exes who went for their "dream" future faking partners after me have much shittier lives now then I would have ever offered them. Funny how the world rewards you in the long run
@kimlec35922 жыл бұрын
@@lioydwilliams1850 wow. just wow.
@NoPitBullLeftBehind3 жыл бұрын
Out of all the videos...this one has hurt the most. Especially since I'm sure in a few hours I'm going to get the "I'm sorry I can't hang out today, but I need you to...."
@HarleyQuinn-ne3ew3 жыл бұрын
You're videos are spot on! I have a narcissistic mom, and she would always lie about plans. She hated me for having my own thoughts and questioned her crap. I would look her dead in the eye at 14 or so years old and tell her she was such a liar.
@JaxKel4 жыл бұрын
This video rings so true. If they can't follow through on current promises, what makes you think they'll deliver the future ones? The road to happiness isn't paved with chaos, thats for sure!
@christianpulisic77843 жыл бұрын
Jac K,you look stunning 🌹🌷,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!
@charlotteortiz12334 жыл бұрын
I have often used the saying ," dangling a carrot" to my husband. When it comes to doing that to our daughter, I make him follw through! You do not promise anything to a child and not follow through! When I found the term ," narcissist " I read a lot of my research to our daughter. She ,like me , had a weight lifted . It is still disheartening that someone that claims to love us is such a game player, triangulator, gaslighter, liar , manipulative......person but education is key !
@mariamichael18073 жыл бұрын
So grateful to Dr R she made me realise that I wasn’t going mad. God bless you for uploading these videos I’m sure they’re saving lives. Thank you. Mx
@ezpz8683 жыл бұрын
I feel like my life is saved and my eyes are being opened. Thank you Dr Ramani
@archywiseman4 жыл бұрын
The actual plan of action is always missing because well, that's work. If there's no real plan and just talk, run.
@akingbadeoluwakemi21614 жыл бұрын
Is Dr Ramani in my marriage? This is exactly what am going through
@melvaspence178624 жыл бұрын
I feel exactly the same, it's like she just saw what I was just addressing with him and the reactions I got. OMG I'm learning so much and in the process I'm so hurt and disappointed 😞
@gogoldiego4 жыл бұрын
Narcissists have the same behavioral patterns.💛✌🇱🇷
@joseenoel80934 жыл бұрын
I played her gaslighing vid while he breakkeyed, awesome! The words were from his mouth straight to hers! Dickhead, she's a God send and not a moment too soon! Bless you all, what a wake-up call!
@joseenoel80934 жыл бұрын
Tell dickhead Dr. Ramani goes where you go! They all want us stupid, they're the crazy ones, why the heck would you want your spouse stupid unless you've that much an ego problem/that desperate to look smart but basically they're wanting to dominate, yay!
@lillianmartinez11704 жыл бұрын
I'm not the only one- they all go to the same school!
@susanchung97643 жыл бұрын
"Am I leaving before they serve the cake?" Perfect analogy. Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for these insightful videos
@xBananaskinx3 жыл бұрын
Thank goodness my C-PTSD and Aspergers made me hypersensitive to these manipulation techniques, so even if I cannot see the redflags, my selective mutism kicks in as a defensive mechanism, so I must start to think about what is actually going on way earlier than I would otherwise (I realised my last relationship was not ok, after 5 weeks, but I needed an absurd amount of time to heal, and with these videos, now I know why did it affect me so much.) Knowledge and understanding instead of confusion is the key to get to the healing process!!
@mmercer15334 жыл бұрын
The narcissist knew how much spending time together meant to me so he would make a lot of false promises that he would take me to different places and at first I would get my hopes up only to have them dashed away. After a while I stopped expecting anything and started to be okay with just settling for having him in my life which didn't last because I woke up and realized I deserved much more
@liethesortiz63213 жыл бұрын
Amen to that sis!
@annatheocharidi65174 жыл бұрын
“... you may stay in whatever kind of a relationship with them not because it feels good, not because it is healthy, but because they offered the dream..our dreams are almost used against us...” so true!!!!
@dcsapporo3 жыл бұрын
These videos always hurt and anger me. Thank you. I hope it's not too late to escape this toxic relationship.
@TheAdrift3 жыл бұрын
My dad did this to me. He told me we were gonna hang out more as we both got older, because I would have more financial freedom and he would be slowing down and thinking about retirement, and we were gonna be able to do all this techy stuff and he was gonna get interested in my online-gaming-video endeavors… none of that happened and he cut me out of his life last week. He was a HUGE future-faker. In case you can’t tell by the things he was promising me, I literally only wanted him to WANT to spend time with me. He couldn’t even give me that.
@glumpot2 жыл бұрын
That’s terrible, I’m so sorry he did that to you. It must especially hurt because you wanted so little from him, and he couldn’t even deliver on that. : (
@reiniernosson10494 жыл бұрын
After 8 months of no contact, I accepted an invite on her pretense of visiting our 3 year old daughter. Within moments of entering her house, she says-"You're the one I'm going to marry. I say that to everyone I know". I knew when we were together that even a shared living space would be a disaster, let alone a marriage with her. I left that relationship 9 months ago when I caught her communicating with her ex. They immediately got back together. The invite was her attempt to draw me back in and triangulate. This momentary relapse of deviating from no contact really set me back. I guess I needed another lesson. Ever vigilant.
@Freethinker2254 жыл бұрын
Reinier Nosson This breaks my heart. My narc said to me the first day we met “when I saw you I said ‘That’s my wife’”. I had just come out of a long term relationship with someone who could never get to the alter with me so you can imagine how that worked like a charm- and still hurts to this day. Later I’d find out that he had marriage and baby fantasies with every woman he got involved with... even going to far as to say “his name will be ___” and then referring to the future child by name. He did this with others too. Hurts my heart still just thinking about it.
@reiniernosson10494 жыл бұрын
FreeThinker I'm so sorry for that. On some level, normal people will project their unmet needs onto potential partners. In this case and in other narcissist examples, it's literally a projection of a projection. A mirroring. A manipulative tactic. In my case, she'd remembered in the very beginning of our relationship, I had wanted marriage. But hadn't realized that desire was completely gone as I became aware of who she was. I don't completely regret the break from no contact, and as Dr. Ramani said-there's no experience wasted if you can learn from it.
@crushhwa6314 жыл бұрын
Hey Pal. Don't you worry about the relapse. That can happen to anyone. Sometimes it's that urge if wanting to know the real truth that can take you back. Thinking that may be now this person's become a little sensible and can let us have an honest conversation on what may have gone wrong.What's crucial from your comment I could really tell that you are well grounded on having nothing to do with her at all. It could also have been your urge to want to watch how a fool she would make of herself. They have no shame and can never change. Don't feel bad, you will overcome. This wave shall too come to pass. Hugs to you all Thrivers.
@reiniernosson10494 жыл бұрын
Thanks so much for your generosity of time and insight. And you're right- I'm getting closer to the end of this process which had been so much more difficult than a breakup with a normal person. I think we all spend such an enormous amount of time trying to figure out why. Why? The more I learn, the more I understand-It wasn't me. It was her. Out of my control. What's in my control is my ability to avoid her completely. I can do that.
@goldieh71214 жыл бұрын
You have a daughter with her, that must be especially hard, I can't even imagine. Your growth in this process will be so valuable in your relationship with your daughter, especially in the long run. Stay strong!