A very fascinating video, this brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

The narc started a silent treatment. He never heard of me ever since. I wonder what is he thinking now…

I shared a roof with this behavior for 15 years. You did a good job breaking it down and explaining it.

I stood up to him after weeks of rage fits. He didn’t talk to me for two weeks straight.

Twisted cruelty. Decades of this. (sigh)

I love the drawings. for some one who's very visual like i am, helps even more to understand.

Yes, I got it. Often. Good analogy - they treat as like animals and condition us.

everything u say so true 🙏

💯 actually happens and I hate this so much! He got away with cheating and I spent years begging him to talk to me. Then my emotional reaction to his silent treatment (not understanding why he wouldn’t say ANYTHING!) came out as the reason he “shutdown” in therapy. “TOO EMOTIONAL” This is hard and messed up and this video is 💯 accurate. 💔💔💔💔💔

So, the narcissist pushes you away. Then, he gives you the silent treatment to punish you. When I still cared, it used to work and I was miserable. But now I see it’s a manipulation and a training tactic. I love this part! There are only so many times you can push a woman away before she realizes YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT HER AND DON’T WANT HER! So, having said that, I look forward to the silent treatment because I don’t want to interact with him and his BS anyway. The funny thing is, he doesn’t even notice that I’m not bothered by it. He probably thinks that everything’s going good between us. Because then he doesn’t have to talk about the elephant in the room (his affair that I caught him having) and his lack of making any repairs. All he gives me is excuses and lies and I’m done hearing that. So, the silent treatment just gives me time to look over my divorce papers and prepare to leave!

Thank you so much for your videos I can relate to this This is my husband 100%. He still does it but I don't care anymore. 👍

he does it all the time to me

My husband’s SIL. I knew I offended her when I didn’t want her limitations/control on a Christmas thing we were doing as a family, so she gave me the silent treatment afterwards. I just told myself “Heck no, if she can’t take others’ opinions, I don’t need to put up with her anymore.” All she’s given me is the cold shoulders since day one. So I cut ties. My husband even went low-contact with his brother bc they have no relationship. It’s been amazing without their drama and lies at the dinner table.

Thanks for giving us the game that the narcissist play.💥

I give it right back

This video is fantastic how you explained, Thank you . I wish I knew this years ago.I He always punished me with the silent treatment, I was made to feel guilty so I was taught not to do that again, even if it was just trivial things, I asked him what is wrong, there was never any reply. He used project this awful energy, making me feel that I had to say sorry and make up to him. Good riddance after 34yrs, he has the cheek to ask me for one more chance!

okokokokokokok!!!!!!!!! MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i HAD to pause this and catch my breath about 5 minutes in!!!!!!!!! because it's that R-A-W!!!!!! so far i must have shouted--OOOHHHHH!!!!!! AWWWWWW!!!!! and similar at least once every 30 seconds!!!!!! THE PART in this video and others THAT ALWAYS, A L W A Y S gets me is when he talks about the non-caring. NOW in this video he's talking about being "trained" ... i have to seriously force myself to watch the rest of this and i'm not even in this "relationship." i was blessed to escape THIS after about a week of...UGH!!!!...being exposed to THIS MADNESS!!!!! ok. i'm going back in ... gonna finish...this video, even if i have to let it play muted. don't think i have the courage to watch any more...today!

Yep 💯 23 years together almost 19 years married 2 kids together. The past 2 years has been harder cause my spiritual connection started in 2020 waited for 2 years before I said anything but he told me I was crazy and he didn’t need me to tell him anything he doesn’t care about the truth. So we agreed to disagree. We are on repeat now 2 weeks love 2 weeks arguing. 2 weeks ago our son was sick so I took him to doctor I didn’t text him to let him know what the doctor said cause I was getting my daily chores done cause didn’t want to hear him but I heard it anyway. He told me that I do nothing for him threatened to hit me and divorce me. I told him he better not hit me cause I don’t do that. Mental abuse is bad enough. Says I am to sensitive. So I have learned to control my emotions and he doesn’t like that. Cause he doesn’t know how I feel. So we have been in silence for the past 2 weeks cause I told him I am not playing this game anymore. I know he is waiting for me to say I am sorry but I am done being the peace maker cause I didn’t do anything wrong he did. I don’t ever bring up divorce cause I don’t say stuff I can’t take back. I know I have trauma bond I am looking into how to break it. I just turned 52 I can’t do this to myself. The day we argued was 8 years my mom passed. Then 7 days later was my birthday. He is a CN. I have watched videos for past 2 years about narcissists. Thank you for sharing.

Thanks for the videos…this is sad that any human can even do these things…but true!!!! From Cynthia in JANESVILLE, WI

Oh my goodness, the accuracy. I still get triggered when I don't hear from FRIENDS for a while...assuming they're mad at me. 😢

He gets the silence before he has a shot at it. I ignore him and deep down I can’t stand him. I want to vomit when I hear him coming near me. I am pretty tough after 20 yrs of hellacious abuse. So he’s getting absolutely nothing from me!❤ No rage response, NOTHING. I live my life without him until the end comes. I have police reports and it truly has been awful.

Mine is dead thank god after 31 years of this shit.

**what he DID, what he's DOING, and what he will continue to do because it's how he tantrums.

When living with a perpetual juvenile, allowances need to be made. It’s up to you whether you put up with it…🤷🏻‍♂️

mine does that all the time too for days

Ah peace and quiet. I wonder what the next one will be like?

Reactive abuse… omg.. he actually was filming me without my knowledge since 2016 when we were still together… and then tried to use these videos in the court hearing in 2022, which wasn’t allowed! What you are saying makes sense now… but doesn’t make sense at all if you are just a normal person. Why would you record another person during arguments? For so many years? Crazy, just unbelievable

YES!!!! Your insights are amazingly freeing!

This makes me cry

You explain this so well. It makes me laugh now looking back at the insanity.

He went totally silence, and he likes to disappear on me once I confronted him when I found out that he was in a relationship with someone and that he was paying her rent pay for her implants, gave her credit card and pay for her car.

💯This can happen SO subtly...that is why it takes YEARS to recognize! A covert narcissist says mean things "nicely" and that makes it even harder to detect and they make you feel like you need to do better and a normal person tries to do better. People on the outside RARELY can understand⚠️

My ex narcissist did that to me all the time it was awful so spit on what yiu say thanks ben for your videos

Exactly what my husband has done and is doing to me

Mine does this often and threatens me he is going to do it, he is a Narcissist strange i came accross this vid today as this ois exactly what happened, he tried to get me to apologize i refused so now i get the silent treatment for god knows how many days, i am trying to break free he has told me if i ever try to divorce him he will ruin me. I am 66 and sure he will but i cannot do this anymore 16 years of this i have tolerated this behaviour.

See now I did ask him him about reaching out to a girl / ex friend who blew him out before and was definitely acting suspicious and jealous. He got so angry and cruel and I was sarcastic too then he told me aggressively to f off and so I did l. Now 3 days into silent treatment. I do want to apologise for the bit where I asked about her as wasn't necessary really, but also wonder if I shud stay this way as do want a relationship where we can speak to each other about that stuff without a blow out?

Oh yeah. Going out with a group or friends without him … at LEAST two weeks of moody, angry silence. His manipulative ways eventually isolated me from friends and then he started on family. “Why was I not invited?” “ Because it was a mother/sister brunch, and you are not a mother/sister and you hate brunch.” No, it’s because your family are snobs and they don’t even know I exist and they never include me in family things and…” ad infinitum. Then more weeks of grumpy silence…

Naw ever has something to apologize for, it’s just not some else right to judge with no compassion and become judge, jury, and executioner. Understand your own faults when you react. But don’t play with crazy with a mirror.

Thank you for stating and explaining this ❤❤❤-Xclusyph Icon

He tried this on me but I told him that its fine with me, its quieter and calmer and he doesn’t ever have to talk to me again. He hasn’t tired it since! Haha! Dumb***!