LISTEN to Craig people! Both he and Margaret are actually QUALIFIED therapists with a combined experience between them longer than most of us have been alive. DO NOT pay attention to other channels such as Chris Seiter who recommends IGNORING your ex when they reach out (why ignore them when they are actively coming forward?!) and advocates a 30-60 day no contact rule as if something magically happens after 30 days. If you ex truly wants you they will contact YOU you certainly don’t need to “remind” them on day 30 you exist. Listen to Craig this is genuinely the best channel because it’s about self improvement and making relationships better and understanding why you muck them up not just snake oil and tricks to manipulate like other lesser quality channels.

When they realize the grass isn't greener on the other side. That's normally what makes them come back.

8 months later, no contact etc. And I feel at peace, I’ve realised my failure in the relationship and I’m okay with me. I’ve done the work and I don’t want my ex back. It’s a journey but y’all keep at it! You’ll come to a realisation one way or another over one thing or another x

If they don't come around after a few months and you have been working on yourself they obviously don't care. Move on, keep working on yourself and find someone else that can appreciate you. Many dumpers are too quick to give up on people or not even give them a second chance. Ask yourself...do I really want someone who gives up so easily? You are better than that!!

Guys, almost nine months after breakup I can totally support Vicky's words: work on yourself slowly and step by step. For me it was about keeping moving forward with my work, my personal goal and life responsibilities. This moving was through pain and sadness. Step by step repeating Margaret's affirmation: I am proud of myself for getting through this day. I am fine now and actually very proud of what has been done during this time. For myself and for people who choose to be in my life.

1 month of no contact she came back, I gave it another shot until I found out she was talking to someone behind my back. I’m working on me snd don’t need her, I know my worth and how good I was to her. It’s her loss, not mine. I’m on my own path now. Thanks coaches for all the vids

Sometimes exes just give up and that’s on them nothing to do with us. So stay strong and know that you have what you did when you did and don’t blame yourself.

From my experience, exes come back if you both have a base together which is a real friendship. If u were his / her best friend , they would come back . besides if u both felt that the sex is different than other relations u had before, he/she will come back. Those two elements are most important in my opinion.

The three of you make an excellent team, complementing each other very well. Margaret is, of course, a star, albeit one momentarily out of view. Your faith in the persistence of connection is heartening, as is your encouragement to establish a healthy axis through work and self-improvement.

It took him 4 full years to notice the grass isn't greener and to slowly start coming back around... while I just found a new partner I'm serious with.. I'm now feeling very torn between these two, but knowing which of them is the better pick when the feelings for both are so strong

Victoria is so great and complimentary to the vibe of the videos. She fits in so well & speaks to the soul. She speaks as if shes in my exact same position ♥️

Leave a comment and let us know you like this topic! We are going to monitor! The more you leave, the more likely we will cover it again. Say something!

My ex is an avoidant, hopefully she sees I am her best option. I put in so much work to improve my toxic behavior, not for her, but for myself. I am proud of myself.

So, it's been roughly 9 months now, not a peep, nothing, still blocked checked for the first time in months. I'm so happy for everyone who've got a second chance with their ex's but for me there is zero chance and I'm reaching the point when I'm ready to let go of having one. I'm continuing to do the work but I can't keep feeling like this anymore. Only I would find the one girl I wanted to marry and lose her and never get a second chance. I've begun dating again reluctantly. Wishing you all the best, maybe I'll have a success story. But for now I'm just doing the work.

Exes do come back guys. You have to allow time with no contact for them to come back. Let the room clear. It literally just happened to me. I'm getting out of a recent relationship, and my ex from 2 years ago, pops up with a text apologizing to me from things that happened during the period of time we were together.

Officially hit 6 months of no contact. I definitely feel better than I did the first month or so. But some days are easier than others. Sometimes I don’t even think about him at all but then other times he’s constantly on my mind...

Actually they’ll come back and it’s happen in mine. Keep focusing on ourselves peeps. 🙏🏻

2 months no contact. Apart from noticing an unblocking from my ex on Instagram though my profile was hidden originally. Now she can see whatever. I've taken more time to focus on myself to learn. To look back at my issues. My childhood. Buying books. Doing therapy. Even these videos have been a massive help! The point Vicky said about her ex boyfriend being musicians, and he seemed to have took off on his own was quite inspiring. My ex knew I wanted to learn to fly. This has been a thing for years for me. Since a child, but more recent years and last year I said I was gonna do it asap. Though not with my ex, I start in April this year. I'm absolutely excited and proud to say I'm taking a big step for myself and the stones to even do such thing. But I certainly hope that it inspires her that I am a guy true to my word!

Coach Victoria is getting better and better! 😄 Hearing all these things reminds me the first time I saw Coach Craig, heartbroken and looking for some guide.

I swear Craig, you alway hit the video at just the right time 🤯

I can't tell you how important working on the issues during the NC time, is. I did NC during the first split. Just kind of moped around and didn't take action on the issues (how to avoid us being in a long distance relationship). She eventually reached back out to me, we talked for about another 6 months, but nothing had changed. And here we are back in no contact. This time I'm coming up with a plan (to fix the long distance situation), that if she does reach out at some point, at least I've taken action and have considered the issues that caused the split the first place.

You guys are like my Jeannie's without the bottle! It's amazing how you listen and study and relive the childhood memories and learn about yourself and then boom, it happens! The indirect direct approach. 5 years Coach, I FINALLY left him alone, focused on myself, started moving on, well did move on, and then here it came. "The" one, the one email I've waited 5 years to see. I didn't think it would happen but it did. So much satisfaction in knowing you could take him or leave him at this point and know you're going to be okay either way. I cannot if I spent the rest of my life trying, thank you guys enough. Happy Easter as well.

Hi Coach Craig! Just a request, maybe in future would you like to discuss about the psychology of short term relationships? I believe it would be insightful, as those of us with short term relationship has less to hang on to when trying to get an ex back. Hopefully you can discuss and guide us on short term relationship break ups🙏🏻

Listening to Coach Victoria totally tames my anxiety!

Been 6 months and iv reached out in December. Got nothing back but a big bag of silence. I’m struggling to let go and I have a voice in my head telling me just to reach out again. And how much I love her. But I have to stay strong it’s her move this time. 💪🏼

“Doing the same things over and over again...[expecting different results]”. I think this is what you were going for

I needed this one. It will be 3 months of NC. I have made a LOT of changes since. Got a better job, went back to school, working out more often, doing the workbooks, etc. I stopped bargaining and accept it had to happen this way because I honestly wasn't happy with where my life was and quit doing the work while me and my ex were together. I see his issues and his attachment style also (avoidant) and quit blaming myself for everything falling apart. But I'm in the acceptance stage. I want to believe I will hear from him again. We only dated a few months, though, so I'm not so sure. Sadly, it was one of the healthier relationships I've had so I feel it makes getting over him much more difficult.

Its been 11 months since the breakup, Im starting to believe she wasnt even that attached to begin with. We lasted for like what, 9 months? Lol. I'm at peace but these videos sometimes do make me push forward more and more. Thanks Craig, for everything

Craig & Crew are the absolute best.... No one else compares!

Now i don't care if she come back or not. I just want her to want to come back-so at least she can feel the way i felt🤣😜

Always Mr. Clutch. Craig is the 🐐. Perfect timing . Life is about choices so be careful what you choose dumpers lol 😂 grass ain't always greener on the other side . We will get through this guys. 1 day at a time .

im currently on 13 days no contact, this is our second break up so i highly doubt he'll come back. i dont know, time will tell but i hope in a few months i can look back and be like wow i didnt break no contact im doing well and im happy. im just honestly excited about meeting new friends, graduating and travelling. thats all i want in the future.

4 weeks of no contract and 2 months of not physically seeing each other... It hurts but I am day 22 of jogging and looking after myself. Its hard as he lives in the next road and right opposite my friend so 1 day ill see him and it will be then that will show me how strong I can be.. Thank you for your videos this has helped 🙏🙏

My ex has NEVER taken responsibility for her actions, NEVER!

I've recently started the workbooks, gotten into sewing and skateboarding again. Also been doing commissions for my illustration career :^)

Great to see you two and this great video! At the same time, I miss Margaret in the video.

My wife and I have been married over 8yrs but she left last July and I have not seen her since. She dealt with a death in the family and we have had very little contact. BUT I have been the one to reach out and send occasional emails etc. now after 8 months I know I just have to leave it be and go full no contact. I regret I didn’t do more of it earlier. I agree with comments below that you can’t put a timeframe on it. I am quite sure she is done with me as her conduct before we split spoke volumes. I can attest to the fact that it has ruined my emotional state reaching out to her, she says she wants to meet but doesn’t follow through. While I won’t ignore her if she reaches out. I am done doing the reaching and hurting myself while being ignored by her. Onwards and upwards!!

I could only be my authentic self and she loved me for who I was, but she recognized her need to deal with her own struggles with her ex husband. All I can do is pray for her and strengthen myself for if she does come back. I don’t know if she’ll come back, but I do know that she’ll know what we had and the good thing she walked away from.

An important factor that makes an ex come back... is accepting the break up graciously.

He never had any complaints he said I was alright the way I am. He still ended it out of the blue with no explanation. It was not on me and I do not take this personally. He’s work to do and we will probably never see each other again. He never let me into his life, no social media, no personal objects left in his house, no friends in common.

Oh I love this topic. ❤😊 Thanks coach Craig and coach Victoria. GOD bless!

My ex pretty much just told me that we need to split up because I was never around for her despite numerous times I've asked and asked if she'd want to do something together and she'd just rather go to work

I seriously seriously SERIOUSLY doubt my ex is feeling bad or sad about it! Just putting that out there. If I’m feeling blah about it after 2 months I swear he is too! 😒.

Never go back to an ex. It's time better spent cultivating a new relationship than going back to something that didn't work. Also, it's OK to be alone. You don't need that other person to validate you or bring happiness.

the only thing that makes an ex come back is if they havent found anyone else who cares for them like u do.

I needed this video. We got back together for 5 months and he left after 1 fight. I'm focusing on me now. I love him but I'm not waiting for him.

My ex went back to her ex after being with me for 5 years. Blocked me even though i didnt push. Basically threw me in the trash. He recently seperated from his wife, they are still married. He makes half what i do and has 2 kids. Cherry on top is she left him 5 years ago because he cheated on her. And that damaged her badly, trust me i saw the deep wound and insecurity it gave her durring our 5 years together. On paper i was better for her in almost every way. Ive really just given up at this point. No matter whatyou do for someone or how much effort you put in they would rather go back to garbage. Makes me feel like i was the worst boyfriend ever somehow. That really makes me not want to ever put that energy into someone again.

The difference is, I am the one who is crying, did nothing wrong, then get blamed how I am to react to their mistakes, and I am not to feel anything?! When I'm always the one left behind. So I only speak out to get those emotions out at them or to the recent breakup to get out what I am feeling what she had caused the pain on me.

Victoria is emerging as a excellent therapist

Always appreciative of a new video!!!

My Ex (Avoidant), who broke up with me in the end of March 21 by phone, just called on day 138 of no contact. Not exactly direct, but asking if we could get back in contact...I''m just not sure what he wants now...still waiting until he makes it more clear. I told him when he broke it off back in march, i didn't want to be friends...so I hope that is not all he can do.

Years ago a boyfriend tossed me aside because his "mommy" interfered but after she passed away he wanted to get together again and I told him it was more likely to snow in hell.....and I've never regretted it.

Oh wow I haven't checked your channel in a while and I am definately back to watching your videos 😍🙏 thanks for helping us all so much!!

Even if you work on the issues, it's still very easy to fall back to old habits and patterns with an ex so I personally don't see the point to go back. I rather break the habits and patterns and be with someone else.

I unfriended him. He got mad. But I find it easier to not see his feed at all.

How long does it take for them to feel separation anxiety? It’s been 9 months since the breakup and 5 months NC😞 some days are harder than others.. hate feeling this way!

Like always great video!

An ex disliked this video 😂

How and why are you so on point and know exactly how we are feeling!!!! 😩

Such great advice, thank you!

You know what's more stronger than love and attachment, parental/family control... 😒 Not trying to be a mood killer. Buuuuuuuuuuttttttt like you said "secret loyalties"

I was an awful partner, so I'm sure she won't miss me. But this is still very good advice for relationships in general

How will she see my changes through no contact if i dont use social media...

He really had his claws into me and refused to divorce me until i told him that i cancelled my life insurance, then i got dropped like a hot brick, we're now divorced and iv blocked him on social media, theres no contact at all

I really wish I had listened to these videos earlier!!! Ughh! I listened to another coach about ‘building a connection with your ex’.. and when my ex clearly said he needs some time, I started being there as ‘a friend’. It seemed good at first, but then he started pulling away as he started feeling like me being around was a reminder he needs to make a decision, and he told me that he thought it through and he doesn’t feel it, and doesn’t wanna hurt me anymore. So I stepped back by sending a letter. A month later I find out during the time I sent the letter he started talking to another girl.... I now realise I pressurised and pushed him into the stage he is in now. And seeing him with this other girl has gotten me back to square 1 😞

What if you dont want her back. You finally realize how toxic she is You just want to move on?

Coach Craig, would you consider doing one on breaking up after an argument that came unexpectedly when both people had a bad day with work family issues & took it out on each other when otherwise a goof relationship Thanks

Thank you. You've helped alot.

My ex wife and I have been apart for 20 years, but we’ve started to reconnect. We’ve spent a lot of time together, even spent the night together several times (no sex), just sleeping together. I still love her, but not sure how she feels, although she said she’s not where I am yet. She remarried and had two kids, but has been separated for a few years. I’m really confused.

8 weeks after my breakup and I just had a relapse. Woke up from a nap and had a small dream about me and my ex girlfriend making out. I still get scared that she won’t reach out in the future

its been 3 monts after the break up..she wants to stay friends...i want friends with benefitts...we been 1 year together...i miss her..but i know its toxic...i think i hit dead end....

I’ve written about when some of us that have been in LDR’s And the Covid Non travel situation How do we cope with this ? I really think this would be a great video!

My ex walked away from me and he didnt even tell me he wasnt coming back. He didnt even tell me that he didnt love me or want to be with me anymore... no explaination, nothing. So i ended up going for divorce

What if an ex's mentality is "an ex is an ex for a reason and never go back"?...I would like to change her mentality as I still love her.I am broken without her or her sons in my life.But I am blocked everywhere and she has not reached out...6 months since she dumped me and over 6 year relationship gone to waste :( she has dated two people since...the first one failed as the grass was not greener...the second one she has been seeing about a month...it hurts :(

Going on 90 days NC and starting to doubt at this point…

What am amazing video!

Question... At what point do we have nothing to lose by reaching out? I'm 30 days into no contact (relationship ended 2 months ago). I recently learned about attachment styles, and through doing so, I feel I now understand why she did (and didn't do) certain things during our relationship. Do you see any harm in sending a pre-recorded video message at about day 50 or 60 of no contact, that demonstrates 1) I'm happy and accept the breakup and 2) I have a new understanding/perspective of things now and I wish her well... The relationship she had before me was abusive, and when we got close, I didn't understand why she was pushing me away. Learning that she is a fearful avoidant, I now get it.

Can you make a video to explain why an ex can be flirting intensely with you in person. Then blocks you out of no where when you hang here messaged them or bothered them at all? My ex and I had a wonderful week the week before last. And we’ve been progressing over three months. Then he went on vacation this past week. Half way in he blocked me. It does not make sense because I didn’t bother him. I was just minding my own business living my own life. He does have a girlfriend but I feel like he must not be happy if he’s carrying on with me in the ways that he does. Even our coworkers have started intervening because we’re having a hard time making something happen. He comes back tonight and I’m so upset and don’t know if I should act like I don’t care? I have done massive work on myself the two and a half years since we broke up and I know that’s what has caused him to start coming back toward me .

Its seems like they are more happy without you in social Media. Posting trips, having fun, positive quotes like they are having the perfect time without you( it could be true)

Please can you do more LDR splits? It's very hard for me right now. After 5 weeks n.c. we spoke last week, 30 min nice light hearted phone call and he said before we rung off "ring or text me whenever you like".....I havent, but in 5 days he's not text me soooo, no idea where or what to do from here?.......

what about when they are active on your social media? liking, commenting, their friends are still talking to you? i just passed the 30 days nc

Will they go through the grief process if they are on antidepressants?

Hey Craig, loved this video! Can you do a video about my ex ending things because he got a job in another state and isn't willing to do long distance. I will appreciate it 🙏

Craig, years ago when I was travelling Australia I didn’t give her attention as I was investing heavily in cryptocurrency. I said I’m doing this for us both, she said your not putting any effort into this relationship it’s all going into this crypto. She would finish work and I was always investing and on my laptop. I feel bad but I now have hundreds of thousands of profit and crypto has changed my life. I lost her but financially I’m free. I wish she realised I did this for us both, it hurts as she’s still with the guy she left me for. but now I’m enjoying it solo and going to travel the world, still miss her though and its been 5 years.

I have done everything wrong, broke no contact and everything multiple times. Wish I saw this sooner. Now I'm focused self growth.

Hey Craig can you still work on yourself and make your ex comeback after your second breakup with them?

It would be interesting if you could talk about when the dumper tells themselves "its better like this so i dont hurt them like ive been hurt, they deserve someone beter, im not meant to be with anyone, i dont eant to bring them down with me" this is how my ex ended things and i wish i could understand more about why they feel this way and if theres a chance they ever change their mind and reach out even though they believe that the breakup was better for the dumpee.

Hi Craig & other youtubers. My ex keeps posting in her fb story that she was "begging for the bare minimum and if a man likes you, he will text you and make time for you". But I gave her everything and I always have time for her. I am confident that I did my best and she knows it. Is this a breadcrumb or a trick to make me break no contact?? I am so triggered right now like she is inverting the story of our relationship.

Please do a video on why an Ex wont return personal items ?

Hey Craig, you talk a lot about attachment. Could you please do a video on how to tell if they are/were actually attached?

4 weeks of no contact, going strong and working on myself everyday, the urge is always there to text her but as each day goes along the easier it does get ill tell you that, I hope she reaches out in easter break

Thank you, Craig 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

hey coach, could you make a video on why would a ex keep pictures and other close friends on social media but deleted me, and my 2 best friends. she doesn't have "single" on there and has every single picture we've posted up still and it has been about a month since we split. we dated for just over a year.

It's been 10 months nearly, he reached out 4/5 months ago, but nothing came of it / just by phone / is there any chance that he still is grieving and I just have to keep calm?

My ex(for 2 years) broke up with me one week ago. She`ve broken up with me 3 times before, but we got back together since i begged and pleaded. I didn`t do much work on myself and went back into the old patterns of critizicing her for every bad choices she made, got overcontrolling and protective against her to prevent all the cognitive dissonance. She has quit her job that stole almost all our time together, thrown out her brother(finally) who was living there with narcotic problems which I have warned her about for 2 years about having him living there, cause she has a daughter underage and so on because of the most likely coming consequences which she ignored. It finally happened that the childservices got to know this. I got so angry at her when she told me this(which I had predicted all the way) that I had to come support her for this that I had trying to avoid happen for so long, and I refused to show up because of those principles(I warned you, you didn`t listen). I`ve been waiting and looking forward for this for 2 years to happen, that her brother finally moved out so that I could move in and we could start our life together. But NOT the way it happened now. So I told her that I was NOT coming to support her that weekend cause I was so angry at her and this shitty situation that occured. She immediately got pissed and wished me a "Good weekend", where I answered that it most likely wouldn`t be a nice weekend. Hours later she sent me a message; "I don`t think you should terminate your tenancy where you live!" As I was still angry and upset I just agreed to it and went no contact for 4 days. I then reached out and tried to explain why I acted like I did and couldn`t come and support her, but she didn`t want to discuss it and only said I was justifying things and my own actions and said she didn`t like the person that she had become and thought it was for the best that we broke up, cause she meant we tore each other down and dissapointed each other all the way. I then "gave her" the breakup and told her that it was very sad and heavy to accept, but I accepted. Then she told me; "Not to make things worse, but I love you and hope you are doing fine

Got left for another man back in October. I was her first boyfriend of four years. Distance tore us apart once she moved to Arkansas for college. Thoughts?

Any advice on nacissism? Thanks

My ex got into a relationship exactly 3 months after the break up. Is this considered a rebound? Edit: I feel she may have been talking to this dude on the side? I’m unsure.

We were connecting and chatting and having a good time over text last month, then, suddenly, in the middle of the conversation, he just... ghosted. I reached out again a week later to ask if everything was ok? He read it and never responded. Sooo confused. The convo was fun, light, we were having a good time and reminiscing, then suddenly I think he deleted me. Not sure why?

No sorry if someone loves you ,they wouldnt leave you so dont look back .