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Having sex to me without being in love, is just going through the motions. But to me being in love with that person makes it so much better, i feel the love with making love. There is a difference.

We are all aging... and everything changes in our bodies as we age. It is a beautiful thing when a couple is comfortable enough with each other to share their deepest desires with each other.

Having conversations about sex and intimacy is so important to a healthy relationship.

I'm a nurse and I hate not communicating. Therefore, I discuss the aspects of sex at my age( 71)...with prospective partners. Lack of lube, E.D., ...I call it " getting clinical", kind of to make it lighter conversation. What I have ( shockingly) discovered, is that men had no idea about a lot of this....changes after menopause, foreplay starting WAY before the actual sex, many things. I think it is sad that people get divorced just because they " just couldn't" have the conversation about sex.

Love and chemistry together is beyond rare and so precious.

The question should not be how was your day but rather how can I make your day. I'm realizing being single this time in my life has given me an opportunity to really become at peace with myself. Letting go of trying to control the outcome yet having a quiet knowing through my peace my joy will come. Enjoying the journey.

You really got it when you talked about the emotional aspect of sex. I'm almost 75 and I have a 3+ years relationship with a wonderful man who I have taught how to have total intimacy - mental, emotional and physical. Our physical relationship did not begin until 21 months of getting to really know each other. He has ED and he was afraid to enter into the physical realm. He now says that he has never had this before in his life. Closeness is key. We have that emotional connection that you spoke about and the sex has never been better for either of us.

I was dating a guy who should have been taking a blue pill. He had ED, but refused to admit it. Tried to talk about it and then he dumped me because it's stressed him out too much. It sucked!! Only cared about pleasing himself. I haven't been with anyone since. Thanks for this topic Jonathon.

You’re in the wrong country Jonathan, you should come to Australia, you speak like an Aussie! You won’t be single here long. We love a real and raw man that express themselves honestly.

I am 50 and dating a 65 yr old man (BSE!!!!)... and I highly encourage all men to take a blue pill, have zero shame and take care of your woman!!!

Wow! Great topic I’m glad I’m not alone. A couple of things, I’ve recently started dating after 10 years single and celibate. In the last two years I’ve dated 2 younger men ( they are mid thirties, I am late 40’s) and the issue is they are premature ej. which really surprised me. I barely have time to be in the room. It surprised me. Secondly, I notice some men think all women love getting oral sex, which I absolutely do not. This surprised them. Anyway it is a learning journey and the important thing is respect and communication. Cheers from 🇨🇦

I think it's great information, making love starts with whole day to emotionally feed eachother so when it's time to make love it's natural, true intimacy is all day long

What I’ve found in 15 years of on and off online dating is timing is sooo crucial. My feeling is your date met someone else she was more drawn to. I’ve been on the other side of that. I met my current BF because he was new to the area, new to OLD after a long marriage and I happened to decide to get on again after a break. The timing was perfect. If it can happen for me, it can happen for anyone. Can’t win the game though if you don’t play. To me, the meeting with her showed there are people out there who might be in alignment Finally, I would highly suggest not doing the dinner thing for someone you haven’t met in person yet. My BF moved away from that pretty quickly before meeting me. I also look at a man suggesting coffee/tea/walk in the park as having good judgement and boundaries, he’s spending his resources wisely.

I think pornography on tap is responsible for much disconnection in relationships regarding intimacy. Creates bad habbits, and avoidance of relational communication. Seems it could be a bridge if handled in a healthy way. I don't want a guy addicted to porn or substances as ways of coping

This is one of your best videos in my opinion. I’m 57 and started dating again as almost empty nester. I can relate to all you discuss and a Leo too!

My personal opinion is, women in their 60's and 70's would be perfectly find meeting someone same age and be able to hold a deep spiritual relationship, travel enjoy the company, dinners, movies, concerts whatever it is that might be of interest. Could they have sex absolutely is sex a priority absolutely not only because women are realistic. I have no idea why men complicate things with sex if they know time has passed and sex isn't how it was like you said in your 20's. Having a great life and enjoying yourself to the max with an amazing partner doesn't mean that if there's no sex it can't be a happy life. There's so much more than sex to a happy life in your late 60's or 70's. I'm sure women are not the ones to bring sex to the table. Being affectionate is much more important to women, and half of men don't even think about that, lol!!! The problem is men in their 60's and 70's don't want a woman in their age range, and that's where the problem comes in for both. They want to dive into deep waters but then can't swim, and the woman is to blame. I'm sorry, Jonathan. I think we all need to get real and understand the difference between a life companion and a sex companion at 60's and 70's. Women also like younger men, but is it realistic? No. The same goes for men. Hopefully my opinion will enlighten some and life will be a wonderful one full of many pleasures that are not 100% based on sex. I wish everyone a great life and lots of luck in your journey with dating 💫✨️♥️

What you say is so true. Not just for what you call mid life either. You crack me up when you say that. Most ppl die in there early to mid 80's which in my opinion half way in between would be mid life. So unless ppl in their mid 50's plan to live to be ,110 it's really not mid life.I am 73 so definitely not mid life. However, I would like to tell the women out there that there are men out there that are good sex partner's. My husband died at 83 we had great sex up until he got sick a year before he passed. In fact it was likely the reason we stayed married for 40 years. We didn't have what I would call a great marriage it could have been but there was jealousy,control etc. I found your channel by accident ( I'm not looking ) Would just like your ladies to know there can be great sex into the 70's & 80's. Your enjoyment of what you discuss is obvious, I some evening's sit & watch you & just crack up laughing, ( not bcuz what you say is funny but usually so right) it's mainly your deliverance. Especially when you start off with one of your 4 letter words rampage. I wish all those out there will find the love your looking for, remember there is no such thing as perfect. I think you have to get as close as possible without expecting perfection. Happy dating to all of you.

I get frustrated. I hear men not taking responsibility and giving little but expecting much. Example. I had boyfriend hated my hair up, but he was bald.

I agree "8 Dates" is a must-read for in-depth conversations for those wanting to become involved in a long-term relationship . "What the Heck is Self-love Anyway" is another. Jonathon, you gave absolute awesome content in this video, and, by the way, I don't think I will ever forget the duct tape image. 😅

Honesty sometimes hurtts but a lie kills everything

I'm sorry you were disappointed, Jonathon, yet this is still a fantastic example of two people being authentic, respectful, and kind. You both felt 100% free to be honest. Thank you for sharing the experience!

i have bean in an abusive relationship for 29 years, he past away, cancer, and 3+ years, he stole my money treated me like shit, and now i’m freaked out and scared of men.

Refreshing to find your content and the honesty into answering questions and helpful on your input on sex and relationships. I have been single for the last 4 years living as an expat in Europe. The mentality of "Dating" just takes you to another dimension here. I'm in my 50's widow for the past 15 years, then in another relationship for 12 years with a Gemini and I am a Scorpio. I am very loyal in relationships but finding equal is daunting... and after heartbreak twice, and meeting men that qualify is like looking for a needle in a haystack... finding an intersting man my age is crazy as a whole. Some prefer younger and although I feel I don’t look my age. Younger men are in sex type situation which I'm so past that.. and actually no really looking for them but somehow they find me.. So I remain single and in the hopes a gentleman who desires a committed relationship to be equal. 🙄

One of our priest told us, that he had been really shocked that so many women came to him to tell him how upset they were that their husbands rarely, if ever, wanted sex!! He says that he had expected the men to complain, not the women! But since then I have had women tell me this about their husbands! It’s not that they are having an affair either.

I always appreciate your authenticity.

I love this talk!! Thank you so much for sharing ❤ I wasted so much time because I was afraid to have the grown-up talk. But everything is a learning process tilll we die 😅 you are an inspiration!!🙌

Thank you , Jonathon! Sharing about your date, shows how important it is for one to have self awareness, to know what one feels and name it, be honest about it, be confident to bring it up to check in with the other person and find out ...Present honesty can save wasting time dragging along, and more important to save heart ach. I love ''grown up conversations'' you suggest. wonderful attitude!!!

Yes, Jonathon. Weed them out early and Keep it Moving!

Emotional intimacy and building trust are the basics. Many men don’t even want to invest time & energy to build up enough to take the next steps. In my experience it’s often bc they crave s€x, but are not able to deal with emotional intimacy with themselves in order to heal mother wounds and sxual trauma. 🙏🏼

Johnathan your topics are so relevant to our true happiness. You bring on topics with such clarity and tact. Please continue giving us more and more of topics like this.

I think the comment Debbie said is correct. Both of your instincts were right, and it is amazing that you can still enjoy some time with people. But if that special Something between the 2 of you is missing when face 2 face... there is no faking it. and you know what? Soulmates from my reading and understanding and being is.. are not always meant to be with your forever intimate love. could be a best buddy though. But if something is off, it is off. I appreciate that you shared this with us. It was somewhat recent that you and your prior significant other have been parted and yet. I'm glad to see that you shared with us and pursue onward with hope and love to keep r p moving forward. You've worked hard...some of us have and continue to work hard at our personal and social being selves. If we are paying attention and if we care it's what we can share. We are not getting younger, but we can enjoy the last days we have left peacefully, truthfully and as full and courageous as possible and without regret! Hugs from NC

I’m a big fan of this one tip I got when I got married, don’t ever turn down your hubby for sex, that’s part of the marriage contract if we are being honest. It helps the relationship sooooo much. Personally I feel like witholding sex is a form of manipulation and it’s a toxic trait 😢 because it hurts your partner soooo much to get turned down by the one person they love the most in the world when they want intimacy. Also, I feel that porn is cheating, and I’ve seen it completely destroy so many relationships of people I have known through the years. It just makes everything harder… 😂 but not for your partner

Jonathon: I was so grateful to find your encouragement and candid advice about 5 years ago. I took the risk of dating after several years as the care giver of my late husband, who was disabled 30 of our 35 year marriage and several years as a widow. I recently celebrated my 1 year wedding anniversary, at age 73. My husband is 79 years old. We have an active sex life which is a joy that I never thought I would experience after so many years of no sex. Yes, he takes a little blue pill and I need to use lubricant. It has been wonderful to share emotional and physical intimacy.

Thank you Jonathon for all your topics. I often think about your recovery from M and hope you are doing well with your experience of moving on.

I feel very blessed to be married to my soulmate & after 19 years, our sex life has just got better & better as we have grown together. We’ve always been able to openly discuss intimacy which we both think is a very important aspect of a relationship. If you can’t talk about intimacy, are you really with the right person? I realize that I wasn’t before I met him. After being together for 10 years we decided to start surprising each other with new moves, so we turned to KZfaq for inspiration & wow did we spice things up. I’m 60 now & hes 57, we eat healthily & exercise. He has no issues with ED & I turned to hrt for any hormone related aging issues with sex. I know what we’ve done isn’t for everyone, but it’s been amazing for us & we’re both extremely happy 🥰 btw, a simple hack for genital blood flow for both sexes is Cayenne pepper, add it to everything, you don’t have to add enough to make it spicey.

I’m feeling the disappointment too..the one I wanted ghosted me online after building emotion and trust. We will be happy Johnathon divine timing …I do set boundaries and I’m good at keeping them.Thanks for sharing your date experience with us.

Speak for yourself, my body is working very well. I'll be 60 soon. However, I have NO man & only want a husband so it takes full discipline. So I stay working out at the gym which wears me out I don't have time to think about it. I'm good.

Autheticity is whats needed. I say if someone says your too much, tell them to go find less. Yes to the point ..if thats too much, than theyre not thebone for you. The right person you can feel safe to be vulnerable with. If someone is afraid to speak their truth, than that person is not the right one. ❤❤

No your not a player, She was not for you! You are a gentleman,❤

Good for you to get out again in the ‘market’, Jonathon. I’m surprised at the crazy criticism you received from the live questions. I wish people would have just commended you for picking yourself up after some time healing. It’s tough out there. 💕

There is more to life than an obsession with SEX …. Sex addictions , porn addictions …. Tell men to recognize and keep their addictions in check .

Yes! The right person will appreciate you 🙏

You are such a sweetheart! How could any woman not want you? She will arrive at the right time. 🙏🙏🙏

Emotional connection!! Absolutely 💯 Reading your book for the 2nd time recently - it's by my Nightstand. Btw why don't you reach out to this lady who wrote you a beautiful email though she lived far away. This just might be the one this time! Surrender to Love❤

Brilliant advice about your dating woes Jonathan! I am learning so much

Good point, why so afraid for grownup conversations? Discovering my reasons for that. Now trying to correct that, and just be genuine without fear

On to your date, it’s really too bad that things didn’t work out the way you had thought. If she didn’t appreciate your attractive bluntness and cuteness, I guess it was her loss. Your energy is great, and an amazing lady will come along:) ❤

I went back to college for another degree. I got straight A's this semester. Just found out yesterday. I am so excited! I am finding men my age and older, or even a little younger, seem discouraged about their work life (or they've been retired awhile) and can't wait to get out of it. And what I'm doing, where I'm building the foundation for myself to have a new viable career so that I can support myself until I'm 65 or 70 or beyond If I don't get dementia and I'm still really healthy and I plan to be..they don't seem very excited about that. So I think it might be a big turn off for most men. But it's what I have to do to take care of myself. But when I finish school in the spring of next year and I find a job, or work for myself, I don't know which yet, I want to start dating. We'll just have to see how it goes. In terms of sex, I'm really thinking of just getting in tip top shape again like I did 10 years ago with a trainer so that I can attract someone maybe a few years younger than me, who doesn't mind that I'm working. One would think men would be excited about a woman like me who's not after their money and who is a loving romantic who loves sex. 😂

Awesome mindset Jonathan😀. You went on the date open & yes you’re intense, but she just wasn’t in the matching frequency❤. Keep trying because she is out there😊.

Thank you .. interesting topic … My partner and I are in our 70 … we are in a committed relationship. I divorced my husband because we had no intimacy… and I promised myself I would never have a sexless relationship again . We are having the best sex we’ve ever experienced… by choice we live in separate homes as I don’t want a live in or marriage. I let my partner know that from the beginning and he agreed. Communication and honesty are very important. Live your best life daily . Enjoy your passion ! Explore ❤

You make it sound like a lot of work!!! LOL. Most of us didn’t have to work that hard when we were young! But now that we are older the story changes.

Thank you that you are a closure A LOT OF MEN dont do the closure!

That's me too Jonathon. I am intense in that I'm very interested in what makes a person tick.

Being honest as you both were is important.

My boyfriend and I are in our 70s and we are having the best sex of our lives we don’t know why but who complains

You Go Jonathon. We love you because you are totally You. Rock on Dude! ❤

I just tended to have a relationship that was as you describe.It was all about him.He never given me pleasure, never would say he loved me.Says actions speak louder than words.But I believe that it doesn't replace the words sometimes come on... i feel lighter And free after taking a break And he came to me and said that he wanted to rekindle what we had... Oh my god I kept asking him to pleasure me in some way but it was never reciplicated

You crack me up as a scorpio im soo intense not for everyone either

Jonathon. Sorry date didn't work out. It's competitive out there for both men & women❤. Disappointing but your optimism won't let it get you down. Fantastic👌. Sounds like you're ready now❤. Keep looking, the right lady will come into your world.

Jon you are hilarious! You lost your train of thought when you started talking about lubrication, specifically coconut oil. LOL ! Agree with these points about guys needing the emotional connection in the intimate relationship.

I think people are too quick to dismiss a decent person if that first meeting isn’t earth shaking. People should give a first date a second meeting, assuming they enjoy the other’s company, unless there are definite red flags.

Testing for testosterone both total and free testosterone is key. You stated you were in the middle of normal range. Total or free? More than one test is required on HRT. Usually estrogen levels along with testosterone.

I think if you don't have a genuine spiritual connection with the person the sexual connection is not going to be there. You may like the person even find them attractive enough to get off with them in the moment but that furniture breaking deep heated passion is not going to be present.

Why is it more embarrasing to talk about sex, than to have it! Your date was the way the majority of dates go. It was good that you could both articulate your feelings. So much better that you talked about it, than one of you ghosting the other.

If someone is meant to work out it will. ❤ The right one will love unconditionally with or without intensity.

I was just telling boyfriend that holding his feelings can lead to self harm

i haven't had sex for a loooong time, i don't know what to do. and i miss that.

Don't overthink it. Tom Hanks said it perfectly in Sleepless in Seattle. Dating is men and women trying each other on. You tried each other on and you were not her size. None of us can help attraction. It just is or isn't. Women should pay if they are not interested.

Jonathan wishing you all the best in dating and relating. I am so happy that I found an amazing guy who is happy for who I am. The new dating is a bit scary sometimes, and I think it's important to be open and honest. As a first date, I don't think you are overthinking. Good luck in dating.

I'm a virgo and we don't do love bombing 🤮, big turn off. I like anyone that I interact with to be honest. So listening to you has been so refreshing, can't think when the last time I felt so relaxed with the sex conversation 😂. Personally I think sex should be fun and not hard work, but it has to be inside a loving caring relationship. Trust is a big thing with me ( virgos)

Most men at age 60 only have 20% of the testosterone levels they had in their 20s. Lack of testosterone is usually associated with lack of libido. Women too. ED is an issue that is not necessarily related to low testosterone.

Sounds like the chemistry just wasn’t there for you and your date. Give yourself credit for getting out there and making an effort. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Remember its raining great women, it’s raining great women, and one is just right for you. ❤

Great conversation, Jonathon 👍❤

I really appreciate and agree with everything you said in this video. Especially when you talk about “grownups conversations “. That’s exactly how I think also. I wish there would be more grownups man like you out there. Because, I have just had experiences with immature over the age of 50’s man. It really amazes me how older man are so immature and insecure. Thanks a lot for your insights on this video. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾✌🏽🙌🏾

My partner and I feel especially blessed with each other. He is 56 I’m 52. It’s the best sex we’ve ever had our whole life. We are so connected. We do have a couple changes physically as I’m in perimenopausal but we are attracted to each other that those changes don’t affect us we seem to flow. We have also grown over the last two years through a crap load of issues and are more intimately connected emotionally then before but the sex was always amazing and seems to only get better.

It’s difficult for them with ED I have seen the shame that it brings. I think loving someone is important. But yes the emotional connection is just so so important. I have the Gottmans book they are great. I agree with 100% you need to be able to talk about it. Thank you for this discussion we need to speak about sex. I think I have someone coming along who knows me so well, I know I can trust him.

It's amazing how an assertive woman can scare a man! It shouldn't be that way after 50. I found it tough to express myself without seeming dominant.

I haven’t had sex in 6 years. I love sex!! I have been very very stressed due the loss of family members. I miss it now, finally.

Loved this video....great honest information 😁

Great conversation! Thanks for sharing!💜

She said you were handsome. I think you could check your personality type and see compatability. I think you ought to be comfortable with your personality. For example, I used to wonder if my personality was odd. I found out my personality is rare ~ and I am cliche my personality type. In other words, I am so typical of my type personality. So I think you might stop apologizing for your personality if you understand it more? Myers Briggs. :) I think you were ready to meet a nice friend... and you did. :) I'm glad you had fun. I agree about partnership and sharing costs.

I am in a LDR, We talk about sex a lot. We are meeting again soon as he will fly to USA this year again. We are definitely an exclusive couple now. And we are natural and easy going together. There is no difficult conversation for us. We can talk about anything and everything as well as very comfortable to be is silence next to each other. We are connected via our soul. Really, we have always meant to be together.

Thank you for your openess on this subject Jonathon. Great sex for me is like i had with my ex. We just had great chemistry and very intense. We didnt get along outside the bedroom but we both hand the mindset of badly wanting each other in the same way. It was a very emotional experience on both our parts. Obviously, the attraction was amazing . Outside , he was cold and unattached. I think good conversation and sort of meeting of the minds so to speak. I agree with you on you must have an agreeable partner. ❤

Haha...havn't heard the term " grody" for a long time😂

I pay sometimes. We are both. Having. Financial. Problems

My boyfriend/former friend just dumped me after 6 months because I wouldnt give him head! I am 64, hadn't had sex in 13 years and I gave it up to him. I was devoted to him and thats what he did. The sex was painfull and I worked very hard to change that and I did. Then he did that. I have been in several long term relationships and not one of them even asked me to do that let alone dump because I refused! I consider him a shallow man for that and now I am glad he is gone. Also, he knew that about me from the beginning.

I agree, Jonathon. Love requires mutual trust, respect, honesty, open conversation, and monogamy. But I still haven't found what I'm looking for. And from a fellow ♌ 🦁 🌞, Geminis do seem a bit schizophrenic. Anyway, thanks for sharing and all the great advice. ✌️🙏

I think the relationship starts when you know from the beginning if you want a friend with benefits or a serious commitment. The first one is more relax and open the second one people put a lot of pressure to be perfect and honestly that takes away spontaneity and honestly after 40 years old the time is Gold and nobody wants to spend time in a relationship that doesn’t feels good from the beginning. I’m a Cancer sun with Taurus moon and Leo ascendant , I like to enter in a safety zone and be able to be myself without being judged. My preference is a man that try to seduce me the first date regardless if I say yes or not. That’s my nature and go against it is not showing self love to my person. If I want just a simple friendship then why bother myself going to a date? So I don’t want a man acting as a friend, I want man acting like he is interested in having intimacy with me. You can sense if the connection is mutual or not.

I Love your honesty!! If more people when dating would be themselves and learn more about the person on a meet and greet instead of trying to impress. I say keep it real and respectful. Oh and have fun too!! 😅

Brilliant topic! Jonathan

This was such a helpful session for me to listen to. Thank you.

We are responsible for our own orgasms, we can’t blame another person if we can’t communicate. Also, sex can improve in any relationship. The first time might not be great but, with time, it improves as both people get to know each other. Your partner cannot read your mind. Time to grow up people!

Anything ' obligatory... .not good must be rooted in the spirit of giving in a loving way

Your date experience has me thinking. I went on Bumble for 1st time. Spoke to a man within an hour of registering. We got on phone and got on well. Went out a few days later. I had so much fun. We behaved like gf and bf, holding hands, hugs, little kisses and a nice kiss at the end of the 6hr date. He messaged me when he got home he had a lovely time. The next day he said he wasnt sure if we were compatible and what did I think. I took that as rejection and said if he wasnt feeling it then thats fine, i wish him the best but maybe he was trying to find out if i was into him. I thought it odd after such a great night. I went off Bumble after that. I prefer going out and seeing someone in person 1st then talking to see if we get on.

It is hard being a Leo and dating!! Always be you!! I love how the human brain works and what makes people tick!! Good luck with the next lucky lady. How was the resturaunt?

My guy was a selfish lover !! Didn’t want it often enough because he got off with his porn and when he did he was terrible in the bedroom. Terrible. I had to insist he take cialis and he was denying the porn but I totally caught him on it all the time …I refuse to compete with that so our relationship ended. I realized he had a process addiction and needed help. When he didn’t get the help I was done with him.

Emotional connection and Teamwork .......... would love to spend days talking more in person, you make so much sense. Come to Australia for a visit 😃

Go with the flow and find out for yourself what turns that person on. Use your imagination.

Thanks for your tips and yes i agree about finishing what you start.