To be honest, I was very annoyed by those petty comments about pen clicking, sitting still, and requesting specific environments in which you record. Are you kidding me? Here is a man who is making himself extremely vulnerable, being completely open and honest relating a very painful and serious time in his life and a few people are more focused on the video background rather than hearing the message? Derrick - keep doing what you’re doing in any way that you feel the most comfortable. You can’t please everybody and shouldn’t feel compelled to appease the very few viewers who are missing your intent. This is YOUR channel and if people don’t like the way you produce your videos, they don’t have to watch. It’s called “viewing at will”. I applaud and admire you not only for successfully overcoming an addiction, but for publicly sharing what has to be painful memories. That takes guts. Bravo!! 👏 👏

I thought you were cracking your knuckles! Lol. Can't imagine how nervous you must be making these videos. Give you a lot of credit for doing this. It is great that you are willing to tell your story in order to help someone out there who may need to get help. Stay safe and strong always and have a good weekend.

Your mom sent us over here and I find it quite fascinating. I’ve know various people who have done or attempted to do this and they never talk about it. I love hearing all this as I have a family member who was in and out and is now in prison. So thanks I love to hear all this so I at least I kind of know what he has /is going thru etc. I’m sure a lot of us have had these close calls for going, glad I did it by myself (scared shitless is why)anyway….love hearing you talk about it.

I can imagine how hard this is to share such a personal thing. You never know what you may say that will influence someone to seek help! Thanks Derrick and hope y’all have a wonderful weekend!

Thanks for sharing your story. My Husband of 31 years of marriage was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 about 10 years ago. He did abuse alcohol when he drank, which was once a week. A Friday night warrior lol. He said when he drank alcohol, it was the only time he felt normal. He is currently on a mood stabilizer and an anti psychotic. He slowly broke away from his Friday night ritual of binge drinking thank goodness. He lives with extreme anxiety daily and also has obsessive compulsive disorder. I am proud of my husband for his accomplishments. He took the initiative to seek help through his family doctor and it took several years before he got the right cocktail of medication that worked for him. Give yourself a pat on the back for having the smarts and the courage to get the help that you needed. Sadly, that is not the case for many. I am certain that this video will help those who are open to receive it.

Derrick, I want to commend you telling your truth...warts and all. You are giving other people, especially other men who are in similar situations and don't feel they can talk to anyone about it, bottle it up......drink or use drugs to self-medicate or worse. Seeing someone like you who realized they were on their way to self-destruction and sought help will encourage others! Stay strong brother, ever forward!!!!

Thank you Derrick! Alcoholism has touched my life as an enabler. Your story continues to educate and empower me. I commend you on your strength and commitment to sobriety and your family.

What clicking? Missed it cuz was into your story! We have had family with problems not treated soon enough but one with very successful rehab and therapy. So thank you for educating us in such a caring and intelligent way.

Thank you for sharing. My son had a dui and he hit the back end of a small trailer, Police came and he said put me in rehab. He lives by himself and drank a lot, whiskey and beer. He worked for a auto paint shop and hated it and hated driving and he is not a good driver. No one knew where he was. My daughter somehow found where he was. He was put on meds and now on disability, and on so much meds. I said you go from booze to pills. I feel so bad for him. He has anxiety and depression. My middle son is bi-polar. On meds too. My first son has ptsd. Prayers for all. So sad when this happen.

Wow thank you so much for sharing such an intimate experience! I so appreciate it! Your experience is somewhat similar to mine. Although I don’t struggle with alcohol, I do struggle with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. After an entire lifetime of suicidal thoughts, I finally tried it 3 1/2 years ago. My husband found me and I wound up in the hospital for 4 days and then an inpatient psychiatric ward for 8 days. And then 7 months of intensive outpatient program. The inpatient was super scary at first (in fact it was so trauma inducing that I literally lost my ability to speak for about 12 hours!) but then once they moved me to a less intense area (where people weren’t screaming all day and night!) I really enjoyed it. I thrived in that structured environment. Your day is planned out for you..no choices. And because it’s basically “suicide watch” someone has eyes on you every 15 minutes even throughout the night. We didn’t even have our own clothes..during intake you change into a uniform that looked like scrubs..the pants were made of paper and you couldn’t wear shoes of any kind, only socks. Anyway, I made some of the best friends I’ve ever had in there! Even though I’ve never seen them since inpatient (and wouldn’t even know how to get in touch with them). It was an intense bond. In fact after getting out of inpatient I wanted to go back so badly! But I had to learn how to live in the real world. I’ve been during really well for the last 3 years but still just have to take things a day at a time. Doing “mindful” exercises have really helped. Also leaning on a “higher power” has saved my life! Anyway, thanks for listening and for sharing your story. It’s so meaningful to hear what other people go through. Relating to other people is so important. Thank you!!

My parents drinking sent me down a dark, and lengthy rabbit hole. Setting my self free of them, started my road to totally, recovery.

Rehab is a life saver for so many people. I have so many stories from my stay and it was life changing. You are so brave to tell your experience. Rehab is hard and you have to do the work. If people only knew. Derrick you move your hands all you want, you are wonderful… you are helping people so much! I am proud of you!

This was a really upfront, honest and decent account of rehab. Thank you for sharing. You’re a good guy

Pen clicking!!!! People are so critical sometine. Thanks for sharing your story. Your mom Darlene had a very tough childhood and yet she is so kind.....

Thank you for sharing, Derrick! You did an amazing job bringing everything to light! .....Now I'm going to have to go to the video before this one to hear the clicks. I didn't even notice them !

I didn't notice the pen clicking at all last time!! your story and the way you tell it is very engaging. Can't wait for the next chapter.

takes a lot to spill your guts like that... but you are doing it to help others.. thanks for your desire to help others

Thank you SO much for sharing your story. I know that many people will be helped by your story.

This is so raw and real. I have a loved one struggling for many years, rehabs etc. thank you for this, prayers for your continued health

Didn’t notice the clicking or your hand movements-was compelled by your story. Thank you!

Colicky pen? I did not even realize it!!!! A med my husband was on caused severe constipation. He told his psychiatrist and the dr said to him don’t tell me that or we will have to start all over again. His insurance was not good and he was dismissed. When he got released he cut that med himself and never went back to that dr. Mention his name and hubby gets testy. However gave up his alcohol, did get on disability. That can go into our own long story but he’s an ok dude!

Again Derrick, a Fabulous video!!! So helpful to so many people!! Thank you for your honesty and Telling it Like it is! This video helps people to realize that they are not alone; it gives people Hope! Bravo Bravo 👍👍👊

Thank you for sharing your story. My ex went to rehab and he was 6 hours away from home for 4 weeks. He would never talk about it. I wanted to support him but didn’t know how. Needless to say, in less than 48 hours of discharge he got a DUI. I know now that I couldn’t fix his problem but at the time I didn’t understand. I am so glad that your sobriety has lasted and you work at it I’m sure every day. Your daughter is lucky to have you as a role model.

Dude, you are awesome. So honest, very raw and extremely relatable. Thank you so much for your honesty.

I'm chuffed to bits that you went into rehab Derrick. God knows where you would be at right now if you hadn't...AND...we would never have gotten to know you, which would have been a real shame. You have a lot to offer. Having personal experience of a situation goes a long way to understanding others. Thanks for sharing.😊

Having to ask is the worse part! It makes u feel like a small child! I was in an out patient program for drug abuse. I never drank much, but other stuff I won’t name I did lol. But anyways it was having to ask for bathroom breaks or just ask in general was the worst. I hope you stay sober! Good luck❤

Hi Derrick, I love and respect your honesty and easy going way of telling your story. I’ve been down the same road and am a month away from 5 years sober. Inpatient rehab felt so safe for me that I was afraid to leave. It was exactly where I needed to be to start my journey of recovery and becoming an emotionally healthier person ( with the help of meds). I am so looking forward to your next video because for me the “easy” part was over. Now I had to learn to live life on life’s terms. I really look forward to your videos nervous gestures and all!! That’s who you are!!!! And it wasn’t until after I read one of the reviews and replayed the video that I heard the pen clicks. I guess I was too engrossed in your story to be distracted by the clicking. Keep being YOU!!

No need to apologise for what you subconsciously do during the vids. You are opening up your personal life to us in the hope it will help ppl going through the same/similar. That must be v stressful but thank you. If it helps just one viewer then you’ve succeeded. Your explanation of rehab must make it less scary for those who are thinking of taking that route.

Derek thank you for this truely inspiring and informative video, very much appreciate your upfront and truthful approach to all of this. I imagine how difficult it must be to speak so openly about your person life experiences. Thank you very much.

Thank you for being brave and telling your story 💗🙂

Derrick, you are a hero. People need to hear your story. There are no words to describe how this video is appreciated and how much it can impact lives. Congratulations on your sobriety and commitment to better your life. You are a blessing.

Thanks Derrick for your heart warming story.

Your sharing your experience is going to speak to those who are going thru the same thing. Or experiencing parts of your story. By sharing it can be so helpful to others. To know that someone understands where we are or where we have been . Thank you so much.

Thanks for sharing your story. It takes a lot of guts to admit your abuse with alcohol . I come from a family of alcoholics and I witness the troubles they had with it. I guess that’s why I never drank alcohol. I made sure my children never saw any of the relatives drunk. I shielded them so they would not remember seeing them like that. Yes there is not a close relationship with them but they know why. I hope you can remain free of all those problems and raise your daughter with a healthy Dad. Best wishes Derrick ❤️

I never noticed your pen in the last video. This is a good series. Thanks for sharing. 😊

It's not just psych medicine that needs to be monitored this way, all types of medicine should be. I'm going through the same thing with all my doctors and my meds. One of my doctors told me that a lot of patients get medicine and never come back. If we don't communicate with them on how we're feeling or possible side effects that we're experiencing, they don't know how to tweak. Because I go back and forth with my doctors discussing my experiences with my meds, I have a good regimen now. Even people in my family and friends circle has stopped taking medicines cold turkey because of side effects. That can be dangerous. They never consult a doctor about weaning off of the meds nor do they even give a second chance to the doctor to help them find what's best for them. I just feel like people give up too quick. I have to fight for my quality of life because no one else will do it for me.

This is amazing... thank you for sharing! This helps me and so many more!💜

I enjoyed your 1st video ( That's me ) I am now watching the 2nd ❣️

Wow again! Good for you & love how you tell your story, so raw & real & some great humor too. You should be a motivational speaker 👍

Amazing video again.......candid and brave x

Great job Derrick! It's not easy to share such a personal and private experience. You and I had VERY similar experiences in detox. On day 3, I began to shake uncontrollably. They rushed me to the ER for alcohol withdrawal. After being hooked up to EKG leads and a slow drip "banana bag", I was released 3 hours later. It worked and I felt so much better. I, too, am on Lexapro for 20 years now. You don't feel it working, But it takes the edge off of daily frustrating triggers. Hence, living Life on Life's terms isn't so overwhelming. I found solace in my 45 day stay. Like you said, our responsibility was to focus on Ourselves and dig deep to find Our truth, and work on what we were hiding deep down inside. Transitioning back into the real world and walking back into my home where I used to drink, was awkward. But, with time, you adjust. I am SO glad that you reached out for help. #peace

Wow , this is so informative, very helpful. Thanks so much for sharing your experience.

I watched that whole first video and did not notice until you just said something. I was so engaged in your story.

I feel bad that viewers pick at you for stuff. Your pic on this video is really good. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for sharing your story.

I have been sober for 10 years and I haven’t gone to a rehab but I’ve been in hundreds of meetings with people that have and I’ve heard hundreds of stories. This sounds like you were arrested. I hope people realize that rehab isn’t like this. It’s not like prison you’re not a criminal unless you are a criminal, but you’re not there to pay your penance you’re healthier. No one should be rolling their eyes at someone who asked to go to the bathroom.

Thanks Derrick, you did great. I didn’t notice the clicking in the last video. I admire you. Thanks from Kentucky

Thank you for telling the story

Thanks for sharing.. it means the world to us!

I can understanding what you are going through I have had to deal with it most of my life my daughter has a addiction problem to and it has very hard .,I am so proud of you I know what addiction is I wish you the best God bless

Thanks for sharing bro, peace🙌

I didn't notice the clicking thing! I can identify with your breakdown thing when you were in trouble at work etc. I once went behind my wife's back and spent some money. Long story short, I found out that she was about to find me out. She was at work and was coming home and I knew I had to confess. I was "sweating blood" . I confessed when she got home, and we ended up divorced. Point is: what a feeling!

I just listened to your first part and never heard the pen clicking. It is raining here now, maybe that’s why. Thank you for sharing your story. Congratulations on your success!

Lol… the pen! I kept picking up the phone to look for a clicking pen! Lol enjoy your stories Derrick. Thanks for keeping it real and love you humor 😜

Thanks for sharing your stories on alcoholism. I look forward to number three. Take care.....

Derik,congrats,Derek,, done well. My husband went Thru rehab,said Best 18 days of his life. And don't worry a out clicking a pen life is to short. God bless you for being a good dad.n son ❤ Joyce from michigan

First, noticed the pen clicking, I thought it was nerves & it didn’t affect what you saying at ALL ! Some people find anything to nit pik. Thank you for sharing Derrick, you are an inspiration. I love your videos 😊 (and your mom’s) ❤

Good series

Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for sharing I’ve been there to many times and finding myself in a horrible place again

Oh my gosh... click pens all you want. I definitely noticed it at the beginning of the last video, but I didn't notice it as much once I figured out what it was - because I'm a pen clicker. And I'm also a figit-y hand wringer, so that doesn't bother me. Thank you so much for sharing! This is wonderful - people need to hear this ❤

It's interesting to see detox from the patients point of view. I worked as a RN for 20 years in a jail. Lots of detoxing inmates, it's was frustrating, especially when they would bond out mid detox and then be back sometimes within a few days on new charges and the detox ritual started all over again. Congratulations for being able to stay sober, I'm sure it can be difficult at times.

I didn’t notice the pen clicking 😂 Now I have to go check 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Derrick you are very natural at this, feels like you are sitting in my living room. My guy has the same horrible struggle as you. He has been in and out of rehab quite a few times. Every time he get a clear mind he leaves and it is too soon. Inevitably he starts to drink again. May I please ask some suggests how to get him to stay longer, or is it all up to him Keep well

We love and appreciate you Derek, click your pan all you want!

Sounds like a prison. I've been in the public system before and it's very similar to what you're describing. Currently in a private facility where you're allowed to spend time in your room and you can have your phone and get treated a whole lot better. The public system traumatised me. (This is in Australia btw). Also please research any medication they are trying to prescribe you! That's a whole other story for me.

Derrick it's not what your doing it's important what your saying ! Clicking didn't bother me at all. Everyone does something when they are nervous no big deal 😊

Ha I was so into what u were saying, I didn't even notice the clicking lol

The rehab I went to was ok most of the time i lived in sober living for 3 years went in homeless and pretty broken i miss the place alot sometimes i still live close to it its not same as it was i got to sober up before I went to rehab 3 days mental hold had to tell them I was going to drink myself to death only way I could get help ive relapsed few times since then would go back if I could stay a few years i know that sounds crazy but it really did help me when I was there some rehabs ive seen where kinda crazy knew of one that they would walk you miles

Thank you for sharing. I bet I saw you play in Tunica. I am BiPolar 2. Been on Lamictal. Been in treatment several times for depression. DNA TEST on mental health drugs. Can’t take them from sides. So on other meds that help. Only sibling not an alcoholic or drug user. Just depression. Love your sharing. Thanks. Frances

I didn't mind the pen clicking.

How fortunate you were in a more re-hab type of place rather than a detox and release type of place.

About the previous video and pen clicking - I was too busy listening, watching your facial expressions, and focusing on the amount (or not) of muscle tension around your eyes to even notice.

Glad you explained about the pen…lol..I thought something was wrong with my IPad.

Probation is not fun lol. Drinking landed me on probation too, for 2 years back when I was 23. I got sloppy wasted and started a loud fight with my ex for dumping out all the beer so I would stop drinking and the neighbors called the cops. They would have just left had I calmed the F down but NoOoOOoO...I had to make a huge scene and start yelling at and fighting with the cops in the hallway of our apartment building. Then resisted arrest until tasers made an appearance and that's when I went limp and let them take me. That was one of my most embarrassing moments ever.

One argument to stay sober: You don't want to experience the punishment of rehab.

You do look nervous wen you tell your story.i see the bravery brother

❤️

I never heard any clicking, I was more into what you endured.

sounds like the last place i would wanna withdraw from alcohol not gonna lie! all that prison like control would mess me up, just wanna lie in bed and chill.

From the outside looking in - Bi-polar, depression, and even just getting straight from using creates its own brain chemistry. The meds work to alter that brain chemistry while the body is doing its change due to the person's changes. For at least the on set, every change sets off additional biochemistry changes and Nirvana is an ever moving target. But it doesn't stop there 'cause as the body finds Nirvana, it works to adjust its self to its new reality; and you're off to the races to find Nirvana once again.

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

I thought lithium was anti psychotic/MS and things like benzos and barbiturates are anti-convulsant

Lol I noticed the clicking - kind of figured it’s because you were hurting - no worries dude

This sounds like a psych ward. I think rehabs for only substance abuse are more relaxed. Personally I don't want to find out about either so I stay under control as best I can. 😆

can i get in touch with you

I'm a pen clicker too.

Did you ever go to AA? Did you study 12 steps ?

I did not hear clicking I guess I was listening to you 🤷🏻‍♀️

That sounds like a terrible rehab. My experience was nothing like that.

Did you start drinking because you were bipolar

LOL Bro I do not miss rehab at all all seven times I don't miss it I definitely learned my lesson lol it was somewhere I will honestly never like to go again and it wasn't really a good experience I won't even say that rehab helped me at all it was that sometimes we have to find that surrender switch but sometimes the surrender switch finds us, well mine found me after searching for mine for so long, once that happens it was like this pure surrender but I was coming off opiates and I had that hardcore physical withdrawal and what's crazy is sometimes I didn't even have a withdrawal which means whatever I was taking wasn't even real and it was all mental, I don't miss any of it dude I mean that was just freaking misery at least when I knew the stuff was real even though I was a micro doser I didn't take heavy doses of my opiate but still I don't miss waking up with that chill and with that cold sweat and all that nonsense it was just ridiculous bro I really pray I never fall into that traffic again but I've had so many relapses that eventually they stopped❤ I remember obviously surrendering my stuff, and then then waking us up at about 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning giving us our meds and then the taper got less and less and less but holy crap bro trying to get on buprenorphine from fentanyl was just hell dude you never knew what you were going to get they made you wait for 5 days sometimes 3:00 depended, and it didn't always work precipitated withdrawal and that was just the most miserable feeling in the world, man I don't miss that at all I remember leaving after 5 days 10 days 15 days it all depended 20 days 30 days 60 days but none of that actually helped me it was just like I said that switch found me and I just could not go back again it was honestly traumatizing to me rehab one time they ripped me off my Zoloft and my Gabapentin that I was on for depression and sciatica from Muay Thai boxing getting kicked in the leg too much, and then I crashed and that was near Camden New Jersey which was not the right place to be if you crash LOL I was praying somebody from the city in Camden would come and blow my brains out man I was traumatized the food tasted like cigarettes the air smelled like cigarettes they didn't let you go outside but twice in a day bro it was freaking miserable

Thanks Derrick for your heart warming story.