First time I passed gas in front of my boyfriend, he stared at me with huge eyes and exclaimed, "I didn't know girls could do that!" We were both 16. We're still dating.

I'm dying from that first story. That was hilariously well-told.

You think that’s bad? My period started during my REGENTS EXAM. So embarrassing bc school had already ended so I didn’t have my book bag with me with all the “necessary supplies” and there were none in the office…. I had to ask my female principal bc she was the only female teacher left in the school at the time.

I was 13 and walking home from middle school suffering from period cramps. I was halfway home when I felt a massive rush and then to my horror a clot moved pass my pad, down my leg, and into my shoe. When I got home my sock was blood red. Wearing all black saved me because at least no one could tell. Literally the most embarrassing day of my teen life.

Thank you! I needed a great laugh and this video provided. I will now share my story. I’ve had IBS for decades without even realizing it until the past five or six years. The worst was a case of diarrhea that hit as I was in a store. Have blocked which one. Before I could reach their restroom it was pouring out of me. I got to the bathroom in time to save their floors but not in time to save my clothes. Once I cleaned what I could, which was damned little, I had to walk from the bathroom at the very back of the store all the way to the front and out to my car wreaking of crap and covered in obvious brown stains on my blue jeans. I felt the eyes of everyone who was near enough to see and smell me following me as I left. Driving home was equally unpleasant. It was a very long time before I ever went back there. 😢

My body/brain having a spectecular failure happened a good while after my fiancee and i were attacked by one of our neighbours. Since i have ptsd from the attack and currently on a waitlist for therapy for that and we've since moved from that appartment, but in our new house, my responses to the doorbell can still be hilarilariously extreme, think cat on a fence having a spasm and falling to the ground. We were expecting a package delivery and when it arrived, obviously they rang the doorbell, before i knew it, i was laying sprawled on the ground while my fiancee went to answer to door, after she came back and i was back on the chair i was in before said doorbell, ahe explained i pretty much jumped up like said earlier mentioned cat on a fence. So yeah, tldr, i spasmed myself of a chair at the sound of a doorbell because ptsd is a b*tch.

Every time a room is quiet my stomachs have to go "ÆEEHGEBEVEVÀÆŒ"

I Kinda' got one for ya, just hearing all of these fart related stories reminded me of my "Legendary Train station Fart" .Back about 7 or 8 years ago I was planning to take a train to visit a friend, However the night before I was set to travel I had a bout of food poisoning. Both ends, more need not be said. The next day feeling a bit uneasy still and not wanting to waste the £100+ train tickets I'd pre booked, I took some anti-diarrheal pills and figured I'd be fine for the almost 7 hours of the train journey. About 3 and a half hours in I have a changeover, I had been feeling the rumblies down south for a while by this point so I dashed to the bathroom at this train station since I had about 20/30 min until my next train. Now this Train station was a 4 Track design, 1 Primary stance, then 2 & 3 in a middle island you'd have to take an overpass to reach and then the 4th on the last side which again had an overpass or a direct back access from the street. I was in the middle island, Stance 2/3, Now luckily for me there were bathrooms on this island and I went in, Just as another train pulled into station idling on one of the tracks. I get into the stall and it is instant, I Rip ass with nothing but powerfully loud anal acoustics for a solid 2 minutes at least, it was incredible. After I was done and feeling better, I walked out and people were staring a couple guys even applauding and "Woo'ing", My porcelain shattering performance had been louder than that still idling train in the station. I sheepishly got to the platform I needed to and hid my face till my train arrived to whisk me away from my "legendary butt blowout".

6:00 that was an AMAZING commercial announcer impression!

I got a testicular exam from a female doctor (usual doc was sick), and... well, the Little General had something to say. Thankfully, nothing was said about it, but I was damn near tears by the end.

That first story is hilarious I hope my next girlfriend is like that

In the 5th grade, I wasn’t feeling well during the morning. Not long after much (which I didn’t each much of) we were in the middle of practicing for the Christmas concert and I threw up in front of everyone

Shit my pants at work mid conversation with a co worker. Turns out I have IBS

Ugh, this reminds me of an incident from December 2016, still laugh about it with family. I was on a checkup stay for a couple of day, and on third day of the stay, I caught the nastiest influenzae I have ever had, puked really horribly, had a nasty diarrhea and my temperature was high for a couple of days. My mom caught it first from me, puked a had diarrhea for a day and quickly recovered. The boys in the family had it way worse than I had it. I remember that I couldn't sleep and woke up around 11:45 P.M., because I heard gagging sounds. Then my father jumped up and occupied the toilet, and heard him puke and crap at the same time, the 💩 came first. After when he was finished, my bro leapt out of the bed, ran the fastest he could( kid you not, only 2 seconds were needed to reach the loo), and puked. Came back shaking, Mom woke up to the rattle, then I don't know the rest, cuz went back to sleep, felt a lot better, and could go to school the next day. That was at least 3-4 days ever since came home from the checkup. By December 31st, everyone healed from the fiasco, and got a story to tell.

Great video keep up the good work dude

Story 7 is a classic, happens to the best of us

8th grade i started to have more problems anxiety, it would give horrible stomach aches and I went home from school alot. It was after lunch and I felt my stomach flip and cramp up, this wasn't normal anxiety, oh no. I went to the nurse and held it together tried laying down but it wasn't helping, so I asked to go home. My mom was called and I packed up to leave. And when i was waiting in the entrance to the school I felt my muscles relax and I shat liquid in my pants. Horrified standing not knowing what to do. Luckily my muscles kicked back in and stopped me from continuing to poop my pants. My mom rolled up to the pick up line and I climbed in hovering on the seat to not sit in the poop. To afraid to tell my mom we got home and I mad dashed to the bathroom and cleaned myself up. I repressed that memory for the most part until hearing these storys and then the fear and dread all rolled back.

I pretty much never let anything embarrass me. If something embarrassing happened I'd deal with it and ignore the aftermath. I've farted loud in class and at work, owned up to it and moved on after. I've crapped myself, told the teacher and had a change of clothes brought in or went home (due to diarrhea) I used to play truth or dare and would streak down the road and would take my time doing it. I remember one time I streaked on a dare, walked down the road after yelling about a streaker, I noticed as I was coming up under a street light that a neighbor was looking out the window I turned to give them a frontal view from directly under the light, yelled "look at this" and shook my dangly parts at them, then continued walking as if it never happened(I was 15) I've never let the natural things that happen with the human body bother me.

4:13 itd be WAY funnier if you actually swore😂

I have pooped myself at work, multiple times due to a big sneeze. Now I just use the bathroom whenever I feel any discomfort.

I once had a panic attack because I was so accustomed to full blown, need-an-Ativan level panic attacks that I felt some kind of tightness in my chest during a stressful time and it made me panic that I was dying and someone had to explain to me that I was having a mild panic attack but if I kept spiraling I would have a major one. I had never experienced mild anxiety, it was always 0-100. I felt stupid.

I have the exact same thing as story 33. Either leg just buckles randomly. I don't fall or even touch the ground, I don't even break pace. But it just gives out for a split second.

One that comes to mind: I had had a sleepover at my friend’s house (I was about 20 at the time), and I had just left the following morning to go walk back to my dad’s (it wasn’t far, a 5-10 min walk). I kind of needed to pee, but it wasn’t urgent, so I figured I could wait until I got home. Oh, how wrong I ended up being. I was about halfway home - in fact, not even, I’m sure I could still have seen my friend’s house if I looked back - when all of a sudden a strong wave of nausea washed over me. I immediately froze, then doubled over and vomited all over the path. Because I’d had blackcurrant juice to drink that morning, I remember it being very purple 😂 Then, because my abdomen was contracting to force the vomit out . . . I also peed myself. Thankfully, while I was mildly embarrassed about that fact, I didn’t care so much because I just felt awful after throwing my guts up. I just shuffled numbly to my dad’s flat and asked if I had a change of clothes there (I don’t live there but stay over from time to time, couldn’t remember if I’d left any clothes there), explaining the situation. Thankfully I did, and got changed out of my soiled clothes and sat down on the couch feeling sorry for myself lol. I don’t remember even continuing to be ill afterwards, just had a random bout of nausea and sickness 🤷‍♀️ stupid body.

Story 33: I've got a problem like that; my right leg buckling for a split second randomly. It's because my right side is slightly weaker from a brain tumor I survived years ago. I can be self conscious about my disabilys in general, but I try not to let it get to me and hope that OP can mange to do the same.

So one time when I was very young I was in a bathroom. I go into a stall I believe that there was a giant baby doll in the other stall and it was only wearing a diaper. I take off my pants and the miracle begins. Until … I wake up and I’m in my bed releasing I massive and I mean mad piss. It was all to late. I still remember that incident to this day. At least I have never wet myself again. 😂 edit: just to say I was in full control during the dream and I let myself pee and it was during the middle of the night so no one was there to clean it up until morning. The other time my body betrayed me was on grandparents day at school. I was with my friends in my classroom when I felt something coming but I wouldn’t make it to the bathroom. And then fwoosh the sound ripped out and ringed around for at least a minute. The smell was toxic and I was awkwardly standing there. Moral of the story don’t fart on grandparents day.

As a young teenager, I had a vile disgusting troll of a neighbor who used to make passes at under aged me. One day after I had basically had too much to eat in one day (I had a condition where my upper stomach muscle didn’t close all the way) I had got mad at him and decided to burp in his face, but instead of air coming out, it was half of the food I had eaten that day it had projected out of my mouth, just like Linda Blair in the exorcist into his face down his chest. I wouldn’t exactly call that my body betraying me come to think of it because that scuzz bucket deserved it.

I hope this doesn't get buried . During the final year of highschool the school took us on a study tour to two hill stations which were in other states and also one of the country's biggest theme parks which were in other states. It was a 4 day trip . On the first day when we reached there everyone ate a lot of local food especially Street foods . From that night onwards I started experiencing severe constipation but I didn't tell anyone not even the teachers or the guides. And on the fourth night (the night before visiting the park) at well past midnight I woke up , but I didn't know why then 5 seconds later I started projectile vomiting 4 days worth of food all over the room and I just passed out, when I came to my senses I went to bathroom, cleaned myself up and started assessing the damage , there was vomit everywhere . And the worst part is I was sharing the room with 3 of friends and we all were sharing the same queen sized bed , yes the same bed I puked . luckily their blankets shielded them from my puke. Then I ripped the blankets off them and I put it in the bathroom and went to sleep again . I still don't know how they slept through all this In the morning I had to explain to them and the teachers the horrific state of the room. And i obviously wasn't able to enter any rides at the amusement park. Then when I got home I went straight to the hospital and yep it was food poisoning and also my CRP levels were like 48 which way above normal (normal is like between 3 and 10 mg/l) was in the hospital for 2 weeks . TLDR --- went on school trip , caught food poisoning and projectile vomited all over my friends and the room at night.

First story has me laughing so hard, I subsequently farted in front of my boyfriend... Thank goodness he was asleep!! 🤣💨

I once had a period for an ENTIRE MONTH. I would only have about 1-2 days of downtime before it would start again, after a month it finally took its leave. My doctors were ready to do some blood tests to figure out what the hell was going on.

Every time I am a week away from going on a holiday a get very sick (a random virus, sinus infection, or worse) by the time I go on a airplane to get to the holiday destination I am no longer infectious but still sick. On the very day I have to go on the plane I get my period (I am on the pill but I can’t control my periods). And they last the whole holiday, which is normally somewhere warm and with pools, we would have tours and destinations booked. So we would have to go on them while I am still sick (but not contagious) and having very bad periods. This has happened since I was 14 and it always goes as above, it never differs.

Runny nose with no napkins in classroom, I had to face down the table and wipe the mucus using my hands like a younger kid, and it came out a lot. The classmates were looking at me with confusion.

I have IBS, and epic farts are the _kindest_ of the ways my body has betrayed me.

i actually have a story : well i had a winning combination of bad food poisoning, and a stomach virus, and had overheated after being out in the sun all day at the lake with some friends about 8 years ago, needless to say i was in the hospital for a couple of days and even had to wear nappies during this, as i was, um, running at both ends, yeah not fun, and for about a week after because with the straining of throwing up and being so weak from all of this ordeal, i had pulled muscles and was temporarily urinary incontinent , that was pure hell, and after about a week i gained my strength back ; the abs , groin and sphincter muscles etc. that were pulled and strained during all of this were back to normal. i must say: -- while the human body really is an amazing marvel, sometimes it just decides to go; '''fuck yooouuu , nothing on me is gonna work properly so just deal ! '' LOL but luckily i have always been a healthy hearty sturdy person and rarely get sick, hopefully i never end up that sick ever again.

oh dude, poor guy on the bike man, i hope he felt better soon after, glad he at least had some help when he got home, when you are that sick its nice to have someone around in case you need to go to the hospital or such; and to get you food and liquids.

1:52 lmao hell, just hearing this story makes me go through the emotions as well; laughing but also feel the '' oh no, poor woman how embarrassing and frustrating having issues like that is, and the relief that shes okay and hes okay with her. i mean yeah we all fart its natural, but to have body issues that make it excessive and or EPIC is a whole other ball game, but that being said, it looks like a good couple, he sees the humor and she was eased and comforted by his attitude and humor, moral of that story: the couple that can fart around each other stays together. haha trumpety louie's XD omg !

So I have two: one from senior year of High School and one from literally a week ago. The high school one consisted of me in a horticulture class and we had gone around town looking at peoples landscaped yards, I was sitting with 3 guys I was at least slightly friendly with. They stood up and I felt gas and and stayed put for a little bit and when I DID get up I let out a pretty splid toot. The most recent one was when i took my elderly dog and new puppy out befpre I'd even gone to the bathroom and neither wanted to do their business(puppy is having potty training issues as shes only like 7 weeks old... she showed up and we're keeping her) so i had to pee really bad... well i ended up holding myself snd still managed to pee down my leg snd i to my slipper... i had to take a shower before i got ready for work and before i fed them so it was a garbage morning🤦‍♀️

Finally, one I can actually answer! I was in a choir for years, (I absolutely hated it, lol.) But anyway on this specific occasion, I was about eight, and supposed to be having my choir group's performance recorded for one of those terrible sections in Christmas television where they have a children's group sing something. Anyway, mid-way through the performance, I started getting a little lightheaded. We weren't allowed to sit down so I basically had to stand there until started taking nonsense and passed out, fell over, knocking over the gifl next to me. I only noticed this about five minutes later when my body decided to wake me up, lol. The entire situation was recorded live on television, and I live in constant fear that someone will dig that up and use it against me. The medical people gave me some sweets, so everything was okay in the end for child me, I guess.

My body quite literally betrayed me. It wasn't a situation of me should've known better. In what I can only explain as temporary lactose intolerance. All my life I'd been eating cereal before school everything was fine. Then one day without warning I had a little pain in my stomach. I go on to school thinking that maybe I swallowed a little bit of toothpaste or something and it will pass......it did not pass. The pain multiplied until it was unbearable. I tried to go home but the office worker refused to let me call home because they said if I was sick I should've stayed home. They tell the nurse to give me tums and send me back to class and told me that if that doesn't work then come back and i could leave.After 1st period I was still in pain and I went back to the office to call home. I walked in and seen 3 girls in line before me and I started calculating the time it'd take all of them to use the phone. Then I use it, my mom leaves work, then picks me up and drive all the way back across town, unlock the door and make it into the bathroom. Realizing suddenly OMG I'm not going to make it. So I dropped my bag right in the middle of the floor of the office and make a b line to the nearest bathroom. I picked the 3rd stall to go into and I swear to God as soon as my pants got down to the middle of my thighs the levy broke. I sprayed the toilet, the wall, the floor, and the force was enough when it hit the floor that it splashed into the adjacent stalls. If you picture the worse bathroom scene from a movie that's what it looked like. To make it even worse the smell was so bad teacher's passing by in the hall smelled it and started yelling into the opening of the bathroom asking if everyone was ok in there.....worse betrayal ever. Ps I'd get sick for about 3 months every time I tried to drink milk then one day as suddenly as it started I could drink milk again with no side effects.

So I was in a college work study program that was is the middle of nowhere and in our class building there was only one toilet. There was only like 20 ish people there. But one toilet and 20 people can get difficult. The day or reckoning that taught me to always check a toilet handle comes about. The light was out in the bathroom and I had to go, no problem I've lived through tornados taking out power before. Little did I know the toilet was backed up and the light out. I learned later my body does not react kindly to wheat, but at the time I just knew if I had to go, it was go now or shit my pants. I begrudgingly used the toilet and flushed. The water overflowed. So i'm in the dark with sewage water trickling around my boots trying to figure out what to do. I eventually shut off the water to the toilet and write out a big sign that says out of order and tape it to the door. Because apparently the other people who used said bathroom did not tell the rest of us it was out of order. The heightened anxiety caused me to have to go back to our living spaces and have a full mental breakdown. It was not a fun day. The same semester I also learned the hard way to never trust a fart, had to again drive back to the lodgings and change, thankfully no one questioned me when i just up and left for 15 minutes. Another day I spent most of it in the woods because that area of the program did not have a toilet. Fun times.

The school year had just started, so I wasn't taking my ADD meds yet. I fell asleep in second-period math class. By the time I woke up, the kids from the next class were all staring at me.

Two moments: In the middle of a test in middle school, it has come suddenly and without warning: the shortest but loudest fart I can remember, echoed by the hard plastic chair I was sitting in. Giggles were made, and I did my best to play it off, looking around the room to make it look like it wasn’t me, but I don’t think that was the case lol. The second was a little more emotional for me, I had run out of my antidepressants and I was having serious withdrawal symptoms, expounded by what I later learned was Covid, but I was at work and I started feeling overwhelmed and weak, and I couldn’t help but start crying from how awful I felt. I was allowed to leave early thankfully, but I think that was the first time my coworkers saw me so vulnerable and weak

14:16 I had just taken a bite of yogurt and almost dropped it on my computer

Worst one has to be one of the following. 1) When I choked on air. I was trying to, you know, breathe, when air got stuck in my throat in a big ball and would not compress. It hurt like hell, and I could not get the _air_ to finish its path to my _lungs._ Finally, my throat remembered how _breathing_ worked, and I breathed in the ball of air. Was a relief. 2) When, while I was working, my Tourette's went off. Now, Tourette's isn't all screams and cussing, it's FAR more common for it to be physical twitches, and mine are bad enough that it's essentially a seizure that I am conscious during. I was dealing with bananas and carrying a box out when my Tourette's went off and I fell into the pallet of bananas, twitching like mad and flinging bananas all over while looking like somebody possessed. Now mind, the only reason I'm not sure this beats out choking on air was because, in retrospect, it was hilarious and made me wish there was video footage to loop and put to the D.K. Rap with a rainbow rave filter on top of it. So yeah, either choking on literal air or seizuring amidst a massive pile of bananas.

Right after I had scoliosis correction surgery when i was 13, whenever I stretched for like a month after the surgery, I would lose my balance and go falling backwards. Once, I stretched in the hallway of my middle school about 6 months after the surgery and I went tumbling backwards into a row of lockers. I was dazed and confused and it took me about a full minute to realize what happened. One of the teachers came out into the hallway to see what happened and she called the nurse. I got to stay in the nurses office for the rest of the day because the nurse didnt want me to lose my balance again. I dont know why or how i lost my balance but I haven't lost my balance since then.

When I was like 5-6 years old, I peed myself in class, because I fell asleep waiting for one of my classmates to come back so I could go to the toilet. When I woke up I remember another classmate telling the teacher that I was sitting in a puddle. Since the school couldn't call my mom, they give me some clothes from lost and found. But they forgot to give me my pants back. Luckily the mom of the person who got my pants knew my mom. Now I can go without peeing for nearly 10 hours, because alot of bathrooms had spiders so I was afraid to go and always held it in for the whole school day.

Story 1 sounds like a colonoscopy fart. The relief 😅

The farts, OMG it's so funny 🤣

8:01 no worries there. No one from Pasadena will say anything, me & Chris living north of there.

Hi I love your videos. The first one is funny lol better than pooping Louis a great name

I have PCOS, so my periods are irregular and unpredictable. I can go months between them, and then they start with no warning whatsoever. So I've been caught unprepared a few times now. But recently, my partner came to visit. We're long-distance, so we hadn't seen each other in person for a few weeks. At the time, it had been about 6 and a half months since my last period. So I knew one had to be coming soon. But for some reason, my traitorous uterus decided to open the flood gates on the day my partner arrived. And if that wasn't bad enough, my pad leaked overnight. So I had to sneak out of bed in the early morning, into the bathroom directly beside my bedroom, and try to rinse off my clothes in the sink without waking my partner up. I'm just lucky it was all on my clothes, and none got on the bed sheets

Legitimately just happened again like 10 minutes ago ago but warning: gross (human body is gross) I have problems with hemmhorids and am incontinent (I've been in and out of the doctor and it's nothing life threatening); but I sometimes I end up bleeding...a lot, and I was in class at one point and my hemmhorid popped, blood got all over the underwear my jeans and a tiny bit got on the chair. Well I was doing a project with one other person and he suggested we switch seats (we were in a computer class so it would be easier to do that logically) and I in my panicked state of mind just switch seats with him, and he NOTICES the blood and says '"it's okay" and never talked about it again. He became a friend and we still talk on occasion. This also happened on my cousins desk (there were no chairs so I was sitting on the desk) at his work which I was able to wipe off. And this also happened (in private thank God) about 15 minutes ago, currently wearing a diaper so I don't get blood anywhere else 😂; God I'm gross sometimes lol

8:16 This has happened to me literally more than once. My digestive system hates me. Also, most of the time when I have to throw up, I get MAYBE a 3 second warning before doom's day arrives. ... several car disasters later ...

It wasn't me, but my ex and I went on a date to a zipline at an alligator farm. Before everything starts they get everyone together and go over the instructions. One of the first things they say is the zip line is one way so if you need use the restroom use it now before you start. You understand where this going. We get to the third platform and young girl in front of us started slowing down and we get concerned, but she's says just go ahead of her. Seconds later she's starts to pee herself and we're both embarrassed for her. Luckily we were able to move past her and we weren't stuck behind while she peed herself.

19:36 (story 33) That one happens to me all the time, it's so annoying

(snotted while at the barber shop) ... and now we know why the Facts Man shaves his head. 😀

I also have a story. When i was 11yo i got crohn a few weeks before school ended. I coudnt do any of the exams as I was in the hospital for a WHOLE month. It was a pain to basically pee liquid poop. Luckily I didnt have to do the exams on summer, they just took my previous grades. (Correct me if theres mistakes)

I'm trying to figure out why story 26 was skipped or if I zone out every time story 26 is read

My cat is old and suffers from chronic colitis so there will be times when she's sitting on me and I hear an audible digestion noise but didn't feel anything move in my own gut so I asked her "was that you or was that me?"

So last year, my sophomore year in HS, I was sitting next to this girl I liked. For whatever reason, I had the worst stomach ache in the world, so I went to the bathroom and came back like 8 minutes later. It didn't make it better though, and I didn't wanna ask to go to the bathroom again cuz I didn't want anyone to think there was something wrong with me. So for the rest of class (which was like 40-50 minutes) I was sitting next to this girl and squirming in my seat hoping that she didn't notice it. Needless to say, that was not a very pleasant day lmao

13:45 i love the laugh it made me laugh

Barfed in the middle of the classroom that Gender Sexuality Alliance was held in right after lunch. It was VERY embarrassing. Fortunately, my blouse and skirt were somehow spared from the waterfall of grossness, but there's nothing like a giant puke puddle on the classroom floor. I got to go home, but several months and a different school later, it still haunts me. There's also the time we were playing tag at Summer camp, and my period started all over the back of my pale-pink skirt. It was VERY obvious, and I couldn't go back to the dorms to change and grab a pad. Didn't have a jacket to tie around my waist either, so I was stuck with a bloody skirt. Nobody commented, but I KNOW they saw.

So when I became an FTO (field training officer) my first rookie pooped himself in uniform. I didn't think I needed to tell a grown adult to tell me he needed to use the rest room so we could stop somewhere safe. Well he waited far too long since we have a bit more stuff to take off than the average joe. After that I always tell my rookies 2 things. 1. IF you think that you might possibly maybe need to use the restroom tell me as soon as you feel the urge or when you think you might feel the urge. 2. Always have a spare uniform and underpants in your duty bag or locker at the station. I also explain that at any moment we could be dispatched to a call that takes hours, so go when you can.

When I was in class once I had really bad gassy buildup. I didn’t want to excuse myself and go to the bathroom, so I tried to hold it in as best I could. My best, however, was not good enough as it seeped out without me realizing it. It was a silent one, but unfortunately, I had eaten a salad with onions and a hard-boiled egg, so I ended up filling our very confined classroom with a foul, sulfurous smell. The other kids started groaning and the teacher began fanning at me with a look of disgust on his face. Once everything died down… it happened again. I wasn’t even aware I had anything left! This happened just that one time, but for the rest of the term, I had the reputation of being the “gasshole”, and every time I saw that teacher in the hallway, he would always give me a funny look.

About the pooping and barfing at the same time: Me too! Sitting on the toilet is a great ide since you're throwing up at both ends. My gastroenterologist told me that happens to a lot of people. Something to do with the vagus whatsit being overestimulated. I have a messed up GI system so this happens a lot and I now carry barf bags in my purse. They're cheap.

There was a time when i was at a house party and drank to much. I finished off a fifth and it was while i was still new to drinking. I went to take a piss and sat down for it. Went to stand up, immediately fell over, and landed on the toilet breaking it. Guy who owns the house, a guy in his 40's ish and the dad of the girl who's party it was comes and sees its broken. Yells as loud as he can to get the fuck out of his house. I blacked out right after, it was winter in Michigan, and i was 19. Thank god i had a good friend there to make sure i got a ride home, because i was ablut to go walking off and probably fall asleep in a ditch or some shit

I had a good thing come out from this. In my somophore year of HS, I decided to take the ACT. The night before I took it, my family had Chinese food. The next morning, I saw a few Crab Rangoon on our kitchen counter, and ate one without thinking about how it got there. A couple hours later, I'm taking the test and my stomach starts rumble. I realized it would be pretty embarrassing if I fart in this normal room of people also taking this test, so I try to hold it, which I had become a pro of at this point. I hated using school bathrooms, so I trained myself to hold in 1s, 2s, sneezes, farts, you name it. As a result, my stomach does a wierd thing. Sometimes, when I'm trying to hold in a fart and its bad, it feels like my stomach is repeatedly imploding on itself. I'm in so much pain, but I was stubborn and refused to let it out. For the first two parts of the test, I'm trying to sit perfectly still, attempting to hold in the nuclear bomb that is developing in my cheeks. I was preparing to be in my pained states for the whole test, until we were told to take a break, which I used to completely and audibly empty my bowels. I finished the test and was tramatized from ever taking it again. The embarrassment came when my mother incredulously explained to me how I got myself into that situation then prcoeeded to tell the rest of my family, who laughed and teased me for a while. The best part: when I got the results back, I did better on the first half, when my stomach was imploding then the second half. Thankfully, all HS Juniors are required to take the ACT and I did a bit better all around when I took it the second time.

Im with Mr. Facts on the 2nd story- who tf holds a four hour lecture?! A fully grown ass adult couldn't sit through that without having to use the bathroom at least once

Had a year I somehow had three bouts of a 24 hour committing bug The first bout was earlier and my laptop was a casualty. The second bout happened a few weeks later and it was a few weeks weeks into college, I'd been feeling a bit off and I think had tried to get picked up to go home/contemplated going home but for some reason toughed it out. Well it's the last class of the day and in the last 15 minutes I really need to get to the bathroom so I slip out of class, I end up throwing up in a bin on the way to the toilets which weren't very far from the classroom, I get to the toilets and am not able to get to it in time and I end up being so violently ill in the stall it ends up everywhere and I'm gone so long the class ended and someone actually came to find me. Was not a fun day. Third bout I remember kicking in on the last day of term before Christmas break, wasn't as traumatic thankfully.

It was the 90s,I was15 and my bf,at the time,was wearing white pants. I was in his lap and got my period. When I got up I noticed I had left a stain on his pants. He just smirked at me and said,"Wow! You must've been grinding against me pretty hard." Nope! Just was a really heavy day.

I'm not sure if this counts, but a few years ago I was playing ESO on console, and had joined teams with someone. I think we were trying to do fight this character in Alik'r Desert, but weren't strong enough. At some point it turned to traveling through the map with one other person. Unfortunately I didn't get to friend them, because before I could think to send the request I got a stomach ache and had to rush to the bathroom for explosive diarrhea. It was more disappointing at the time, but I guess kinda embarrassing to admit. Wherever they are, I hope they are doing well.

another one when I was 30 so ten years ago i start falling and I go get a spine MRI and it says i have a spinal cord compression fracture degenerative and a 50/50 chance of walking again..thank God im doing ok now and can walk some but my body's always failing me and im a fall risk so I am glad to have a electric wheelchair but also glad to be alive..if someone made fun of me for things my body does I can't help oh well just means they're the ones with a problem not me 😊

When I was about 13 my mom dad and I went to the mall to have supper at old country Buffett and do some clothes shopping for school at Rosses but mom decided i needed a hair cut at great clips or whatever place it was and when I get done and as we were leaving the beauty parlour i ripped the biggest loudest fart it sounded like a really large fog horn..some Mexican boys from my school comming in to get their haircuts for school went "D- ammmm-Nnn..after my giant FART...lucky they didn't make fun of me when school started😅😂

Story 2: Who even has 4 hour lectures. The longest is 1.5 hours. Labs are 2 hours.

That trying to fart on someone but pooping happened to my older brother. We had this kid over and were just fooling around when this kid get the bright idea to fart bare butt on my brothers head crapped all over his head and in his hair

I also have ibs. I feel ya, first op.

This is the first time I've seen the narrator's looks. Quite different from what I imagined.😄 I always pictured a chubby guy with curly hair... Similar to Jonah Hill back in the day.

Stop using dating apps, social media, gaming for a year and then tell me you're depressed. Yeah. You can't.

You should make “alright, forks” merch

Not me but my friend. He has the worst, most toxic, radioactive farts. So, he once farted. It was really long and smelly(the worst you can imagine.) Our teacher at the time separated him off from the rest of the class, and sprayed the area with a pinched nose. The whole class was dying of the stench while laughing. Imagine a bald muscly man with a waistcoat and suit keeping distance from a skinny ginger kid with a can of febreeze as defense

Not really embarrassing but very inconvenient, when I was born as soon at the doctor cut from from my mother I turned blue due my heart not working right. I'm fine after three surgeries but due to trauma I went through as a Infant in the hospital I get random shivers every if it's 90 degrees out.

3:49 Answer to ur question: Only 4 hrs? We in India have 6 -8 hrs without breaks for some of the toughest courses.

I'm hoping this gets buried but I have a good story. There was a time when I was walking in a shopping center I ended up tripping over my own feet. I used to drag my feet a lot when I was younger. Anyway, one of my hands flew backwards landed on something solid. My immediate instinct was to grab that thing to break break my fall. So I grabbed and pull pretty hard until I gain my balance. At that point... I felt it twitch and immediately knew what it was that I grabbed onto. tl;dr: Some stranger's dick broke my fall. I immediately apologized and walked away quickly.

I actually relate to story 35

HOW TF DO YOU CRAP YOUR PANTS WHILE THROWING UP?! Never in my life have i ever crapped my pants while throwing up.

I wasnt really embarrassed or betrayed. But I once threw up and a female that was annoying me. I wasnt feeling good that night. I went to a party. The annoying girl tried to run her mouth at me. I ended up spraying her with my vomit. Exorcist style puke. I felt better. The annoying bully girl said "Oh my god! Why?". I sprayed her chest. I said "Someone get me a ginger ale!!". I saw her again and said "Sorry". She just scoffed at me and walked away.

Not allowing ppl to use bathrooms is criminal

lmao spreading cheeks doesnt always work, sometimes its the sphincter muscles / wall themselves that make the tale-tale fart sounds .

First time seeing your face, or noticing it, and your face and expressions match your voice.

12 seconds ago!! Love you mr mainly! Sick beard btw

During passionate time, my now wife, then fiancé let one rip on my face while I was… very close. Married for almost 2 years and a year old baby

Story one, if my girlfriend did that, I'd be amazed and shocked but laughing with them, because they got that power. Wife material still, because sharing fun moments means every day will be filled with laughs

One day, I had just finished breakfast and was fixing to head to my room. Picked my tablet up off the table and feel the build up of gas,. Well half way through our living room the release arrives, but not on its own, sharted myself no 5 feet from my mom who was sitting on the couch. Thankfully she didn't notice, I quickly blurt out, "i uh... I'm gonna go get a shower", and awkwardly sped walk slash/wadled off to go clean myself.

Well, as someone who had ~90% of her colon removed and therefore visits the toilet about 6 times a day... 😅 But no seriously. Starting my period on the exam table in the gynecologist's office _just as she walked through the door and introduced herself_ takes the cake.

i just wanted to point this out story 30 has a really unfortunate typo in the captions

It didn't happen to me but my best friend at work we were the only people in the pharmacy and I was at the drive thru and she was doing something else when this horrible smell hit me. She had farted and it stunk. She goes I'm going to try to use the bathroom after that.

This isn't as bad as some others on here, but I feel like whenever i'm embarrassed even a little bit, my face will go bright red. I am super pale skinned so it shows up really really well on my face and is super noticable. Whenever I am majorly embarrassed, I will think my face is red and it will be fine. But whenever I get a little bit embarrassed over something minor bam my face becomes a ripe tomato. Oh how I hate it when my body betrays me.

I like how people think its the butt cheeks that make a fart. Its the hole that the gas goes out of, not the cheeks. Like with mouth farts, its your lips that make the noise

The real question is, how did that gal (or guy or non) from the first story not crap their pants??

I hit puberty when I was nine years old. Back when I was in third grade, my school had all the third graders participate in a swim unit for PE (I believe it was to encourage kids to try out and join our new Swim Team). One day, when I was getting my clothes back on, one of my classmates noticed a training bra alongside the rest of my stuff. She proceeded to ask, loud enough so the entire locker room heard it, "(Deadname)*, is that your training bra?" I, being the goody-two-shoes kid that I was (and somewhat still am), was honest and said "Yes" The entire locker room fell dead silent. All the girls stared at me, and then awkwardly went back to changing. That's not even humiliating, that was straight-up traumatic. TL;DR I was, literally, forced to grow up, and I was not ready for it... *=(I was assigned Female at birth, but I currently identify as Nonbinary and use He/Him and They/Them pronouns)

I always pee myself watching mat rose. Always.