I'm a full time SAHM to a 2 year old and 4 month old. I'm an introvert and thrive on having a good solid chunk of alone time at some point during the day. As hard as it is some mornings. I make myself get up at 6am, two hours before the kids wake up and I have my me time. Some mornings I work out, others I get chores done and some I just sit alone and drink my coffee in peace. The days when I do this I might be a little more tired but I'm much more patient with my toddler.

SAHM/ homeschool mom of soon to be 5 boys seven and under. It does get easier they entertain each other. It helps to remember they are kids and our frustration is our own unmet expectations and not necessarily their fault. Be consistent and they will catch on to how you expect things done.

I work from home and parent all day every day and after a little over a year it’s finally getting to me. I am not the type that enjoys going out or running errands. So I am trying to find small bouts of time to pick up my books again and enjoy reading. It’s helping me to leave the day behind me!

Love all of your videos! Long-time watcher, but first comment because I felt this. I think all your tips are great. My unsolicited advice: 1) You said it before, but give yourself grace. You're doing amazing! 2) Wear them out. My MO when I was a full-time nanny (ranging from 15 months to 4 years) was to get them moving as much as possible (ideally outside) so they were so tired they wanted to take a nap and/or slept amazing at bedtime. We emphasized outdoor play just before nap time, with a wind down period in between, as well as lots of active play just before mom and dad got home. And that doesn't necessarily mean you have to do active things alongside them (unless you want to!). The boys I watched loved racing each other while I timed / cheered. We would set up obstacle courses to make it more interesting (and tiring) for them. One of the girls I watched loved being a "big sister" and pulling her younger sister in a wagon when we went on walks. Sounds like you are already doing this, but just sharing it was great in tiring them out. 3) I would have them do "quiet time" in their room if they didn't want to nap. We'd go for whatever time period they typically napped. This is more based on age appropriateness and if they understand the concept. But basically, you're giving them autonomy of their body, and you don't have to fight them every time to go down, while still giving them and you a break. They'd play with action figures / dolls, look at picture books, sang to themselves, whatever they wanted so long as they stayed in their room and it was a quiet activity. When the nap/quiet time was over, I'd come get them with a big smile and "Are you ready to [insert fun, usually active activity]?" (Of course, you'd come for emergencies / issues, and you wouldn't leave them endlessly.) The kids I nannied were more okay with being left alone because they could anticipate an end time, and knew there was going to be something fun afterward. It was actually really cute to listen to them have figurines talk to each other, make up stories for books they couldn't read, etc. Also a big believer in letting kids get bored and have different paces of activity throughout the day. Mind, if it turned out they were more often NOT napping, we'd assess if they were just developmentally ready to lose a nap or shorten it.

Outside, Outside, OUTSIDE! That's our to-go N1, both for me and my other half. Getting help is priceless (it looks like nursery for us as well, as no family nearby, and we both work full time). TV, sometimes is just needed... Not my favourite strategy, but it works and keeps us all happy... Thank you for your great videos Shayla, they really do help!

This was SUPER helpful. I’m a new mom of an almost one year old (in 2 days - I could cry!). I am a remote worker and I love it because I can be home/at the family business with her/helping everyone watch her all day and be present for all her firsts, etc. but some days I just get so angry or frustrated because she is super whiny or constantly wanting something to snack on but eats two bites and is done, or needs to be held constantly. So by the afternoon I’m like SUPER overwhelmed by just the whole day and I tend to be short with her. But I also need a list like this because I feel so much better on the days I can be flexible and “try this” and it helps. And when I’m in the moment my brain is NOT in the right spot lol. So thank you for this video!

Love this. I have twin 10 month old boys and I totally feel you on the TV. Before I had kids I was like, “my kids aren’t going to have ANY screens until they’re at least 2.” Yea, that went out the window for sure😂I put on Miss Rachel so I can get some shit done or go read a book in the sunlight. Also, I have a nanny for 24 hours a week so I can have some “me” time. It allows me to be a better mom because my mental health is being taken care of. Great video👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Already watched the video 2 months ago but just wanted to say-this video came at the perfect time. I had my daughter 4 months ago, so now your videos are like a precursor of what’s to come for us. I started listening to your podcast Shayla-you have a great personality for this kind of thing, and I’m so glad you’re sharing your journey. The mom thing still hasn’t sunk in for me, but I’m gradually accepting the amount of sacrifice it’s taking. (30 minute naps are better than none!) Keep doing what you’re doing-and all the awkward moms out there, we got this!❤

Love all these tips! I'm a first time mom to a 6 month old and trying to keep working while watching my LO cuz daycare is expensive lol! But i love how you said to be present. That is so important to do sometimes, but its also great for them to see you working so ive been carrying him to do laundry, putting him in his bouncer while i wash the dishes, etc. I also heard once that boredom breeds creativity, so i try not to get too caught up in entertaining him all the time. Doing so, I've seen him force himself to roll over to reach a toy or find his toes to entertain himself. Can't wait to see the crazy things he comes up with as he grows!

This is exactly my current situation. All the things you feel are exactly how I feel. That’s to validating to hear that I’m not the only one who feels this way. Especially the car anxiety. I wish I had access to daycare but I’m just alone most days. And my husband works 12 hours a day 5 days a week. It can be really hard. I hope it gets easier

Thank you for posting things like this. Truly a valued KZfaqr who I’m SO GRATEFUL that I found you. I feel like we relate in so many ways and it’s just so relieving to know I’m not the only person who feels this way. It pushes me to get more involved with like minded moms and essentially help out the whole family. Lol if mom is good, then we’re all good yknow what I mean 😭 Bless you and your family girl , from one mom to another , THANK YOU! We’re all in this together, figuring out motherhood in this day, we got this 💕

Thank you so much for making this! It's always nice to have a reminder that I'm not alone in having those frustrated and overwhelmed moments, and that doesn't make us bad parents.

Thank you💙my boys are 1 and 3, I'm a stay at home mama. This is a great reminder in patience and allowing ourselves to relax when everything doesn't follow plan.

This is a great reminder Shayla, thank you for sharing your tips. I can totally relate to all of the things you do with your kids when you get frustrated and short. Outside time is definitely a big one for us and just helping to even get attitudes for everyone in a better state (myself and kids included!). Sometimes I head to the closet and find an old bin of hidden old toys and just put it in the middle of the room and let them dig through it while I decompress!

I resonate so much with your videos and it helps me regain perspective on these phases. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences, they really help me get by on bad days!

SAHM of a 4 yo and 2yo and 31 weeks pregnant. we use timeouts and don’t say they are being punished, we just say go take a second to yourself to calm down. and we have them deep breathe. this has helped me recently by if i need a second, if they won’t stop asking me for something or asking questions and i just can’t think i tell them that mommy needs just a second (like they do sometimes) when i’m going to be quiet, to remember their questions and i will answer them in a minute. has worked great for us thus far.

OH god thank you! Probably mom brain as you say, I forget that other mothers are going through hard mom days. I just internally combust when my son won't go to sleep so I can have time to stare at the wall but really clean lol. Thank you!

I love using music as a way to calm us all down. We end up dancing together or just enjoying being silly. Also, sunlight - opening the curtains and letting a little bit of the outside in when the weather is bad.

The 3 month old is asleep from the car ride, the teenager is watching Simpson’s, the husband is cooking burgers - I got e prepped and asked him to cook- that’s what I do and I turn on the tv! TV is reserved for emergencies lol or special occasions haha. The mom is having a cider 🍺 and thinking of not becoming an alcoholic but this is a nice effect. Gurlllll thank you!!!

Awesome to see your life’s journey from your travel “living on a one way”.. to being a mom of one.. then two and a wife!… bravo 👏🏾

I needed this. Thank you so much Shayla!!

Something you said in a video awhile ago helps me. You said, “this is a bad moment, not a bad day” and that gets me through.

I NEEDED this today as a mama THANK you for uplifting me💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Mom of 5 boys here. If I'm having one of those kinda days. I have to step away and tend to vacuum they all have to also kinda rethink bc of the sound. It always works. I work hard to give myself grace. Don't be so hard on yourself/myself. As a parent you really just can't. I live in Alaska 1 hour away from the big city of Anchorage Alaska. Every 3 weeks I drive the hour alone to get my lashes done and then hour home by time I'm home so ready to mom again. I homeschool my kids so they really know the mama. Each age can be so different. Grace and prayers 🙏 uplifting other moms is a must. Hugs and hellos from Wasilla Alaska, Tschandra

I am a SAHM with a 16 month old girl. I have found that for me when things get to feeling out of control it helps me to put my daughter in her crib with a few safe toys and the light on in her room and tell her that I love her and will be back and then I shut the door and go have a good breathing session or cry or just lay on the floor with my eyes closed and calm down. Mind you I only usually take 5-10 minutes, but that is usually enough time to get myself in a better place to interact with her. Sometimes she even seems to enjoy the alone play and I’ll hear her talking and babbling, which makes me smile and calms me down too. 🥰 The going outside idea is also a great one for us because she LOVES being outdoors! Thanks Shayla! 🤗

Oh this video is such a realistic reflection of what it’s like to be a mom. We are on the same page with basically everythinggg. So nice to hear it from someone else’s mouth!!!

I’m a momma to an 11 month old boy and basically a special need dog cause he has lots of health issues 😅When I react or snap with my kid or my dog, I use that moment as a learning experience. As new moms to one or multiple, we are adjusting to all these new routines and roles..often with interruptions in my sleep and our needs often come last. This period of “matrescence” is a huge adjustment so it makes sense why we may react or snap at times. I also try remind myself that this parenting thing is an imperfect journey and that’s the beauty of it. We are imperfect parents/human beings and we can use those moments to reflect, learn, and do better next time.

I love how real and relatable you are

This was so open and honest! Thank you for sharing.Going outside definitely helps me a lot!

I needed this so bad because I’m about to start daycare and have so much mom guilty. I’ve been mentally hanging on by a thread so I know it’s needed but it’s so hard. Thanks for making me feel normal.

I’m a mom to a 3 week old little boy and definitely needed to hear this today! I watched this video in the shower after 4 attempts over the last 6 hours to take a shower. This is a great reminder that we are all doing the best we can!

Hey Shayla! 😄 I have been watching some of your videos while breastfeeding my firstborn (and probably only) son who is now 3 months old. I really appreciate how natural, real and relatable you are. It makes me realize I'm not alone... And not completely losing the plot. I have also found myself in tears trying to get him down to nap sometimes and feeling so silly about it. When he does have his 30min nap, there are so many little things I want to get done that I end up just making a snack and sitting down, or running from one thing to another and remembering what I was actually meant to do as he wakes up 🤦‍♀️. Anyway, thank you for the content. I will keep watching when time allows! 💚

Omg I've been diving down the rabbit hole of this, trying to get help from other moms and maybe help them too. I've struggled quite a bit since my second was born, especially living so far away from family. I usually switch to toddler friendly chores, sometimes with the 9 month old in the baby carrier. And I have been trying to implement quiet time where the kids stay in the bedroom for 10 or 15 minutes. And yes, getting out of the house is a must most days.

Yes. Yes. Yes. To everything. Grounding is what's missing in my day. I cut the TV, phone, todo list, etc etc and just be with him. Lie down if possible. It helps a lot when you can't take a real break.

Thanks, Shayla!

Thanks for this video. You are doing a great job! Like you, I feel it in my core when my daughter doesn't nap. It makes me so anxious.

When my daughter is crying every five minutes and can not calm down, I put her in the bath. Some cool bathfoam with color (pink is 👍), some kitchen utensils (better than bathtoys).... and she is good for at least 30 minutes and I just lay on the bathroom floor next to her 🤣. Also, the bedtime routine just got shorter which is always a win.

I agree with all your tips. Definitely ask for help. My husband and I came to an agreement that he will take both kids every evening for an hour and it has been so helpful! Even if it’s been a hard day I know a break is coming! 🙌🏼

SO relatable, thank you 💕💕

This made me feel like I DO know what I’m doing! Ha. THANK YOU as always Shayla 🥰

Thank you and yeah it’s been a tough day with my toddler Leah 😊

I appreciate this! As a first time mom with a 6 week old I have definitely been overwhelmed already at times. I find just letting her follow her own schedule, getting out of the house daily and taking a nap when I can with her helps a lot

YEP! All of this! My trigger is the repetitive LOUD asking/demanding things like snack, play, color, etc. We have a spare bedroom which is our “quiet room” where we ONLY go to read books. When I need a quiet minute we go in there and she picks out books for me to read to her. The other thing I do when I feel like I can’t even move because of the stress is to get up and move! And give her a job. Let her “fold” the socks because she can’t make too big of a mess with that or give her a rag and a spray bottle with water and let her “clean” all the lower cabinets while I clean the kitchen.

I'm mom to 5 and just started 2nd year of homeschooling. My oldest is 12 (youngest is 2), so I've been doing it a while. Your tips are good. I once heard "Did you have a bad day or a bad 5 mins?" It is a good perspective check for me. We do music and dance parties when we are all feeling too stressed. But I make mistakes and I try to apologize to my kids when I lose my temper. I think as moms, we have a harder time moving past things then the kids do. They forgive and forget quickly. P.S. I did have hard day today. Thanks for the encouragement

I love how honest this is !! 🙌 I am pregnant with baby #2 and my son will be 2 when babe arrives and now that it's actually happening I am scared of how much busier and harder mom life is going to be. I will definitely be making a list 😆

If my son is having a meltdown and I can feel myself getting overwhelmed, I know it's usually because lots of other things are stressing me out - I'm tired, the house is a mess, my son's music is way too loud. I can't always change his emotions, but I find even just removing one other stressor makes my life so much easier.

This was so relatable and I only have 1 haha. But THANK YOU. The car being overwhelming really struck a cord for me 'cause saaaammmeee.

I needed this so much.

Music is a great reset for us! My 11 month old will sit in front of our Bluetooth speaker for like 10 minutes and just dance. I also love the Soothing Your Soul KZfaq channel. It's just the most beautiful music and scenery and calms both of us down!

Great video!

Most relatable video xo

Hey. I'm a WFH mom of a 15 month old with another on the way next month! I like to do a whole house mood reset where I try to incorporate some, if not all, of the following if I can. 1. Open the windows. Bring in some much needed fresh air. 2. Light a candle/incense. I love the thought of the kiddos thinking about the smells of our house when they're older thinking 'this smells like mom's calm, peaceful, zen-like house'. 3. Play some music. Bonus points for singing and dancing it out. 4. Bake something. Doesn't have to be complicated. Could be a simple PB cookie or pilsbury item.

When my daughter is whining in the back seat, I try to sing her favorite song. When things get to be too much, I give her a snack and turn on Akili or Elmo. Usually can buy me 10-20 minutes to calm down and get my thoughts together.

My biggest revelation was understanding that if baby doesn't fall asleep and it "ruins my plans", than it's my mistake setting up an unrealistic expectation on my baby. So what I do is very intentionally set a time during the day to do whatever it is I used to try to do at night/nap time. Maybe that means someone else needs to care for baby in that moment, or maybe it means I do it while baby is awake and just accommodate the task to still work around baby. But not being attached to the outcome of bedtime has totally shifted my mindset about it and keeps me grounded. I cannot expect baby to fall asleep when I want them to, that's not how humans work.

I know how you feel , but when our husband doesn’t understand? Happy to know I’m not the only one feels that way.

Going outside is #1 for us! I think my 15 mo is under-stimulated inside so trying to cook is so hard! Usually me or my partner will take him outside while the other tries to get something ready to eat. Also, YES to quality time! I read Playful parenting recently and the author introduced having a playtime, a set period of time for connection. I follow my son’s lead 100% present for these blocks I set and the giggles and smiles that come up have made parenting so much more rewarding.

“I’m not that fun.” 😂

I have 4 kids, 5 yr, 4 yr, 2yr, and 3 months. The only way I keep my sanity is naps/ quiet time. When they start to outgrow naps they have mandatory quiet time in their room or another room in the house where they play independently with toys and if they are tired they can lay on their bed and sleep.

Thank you for this 🙌🏾 my kid just turned 8 months and is crawling and pulling up and THINKS she can walk and THINKS my body is a jungle gym and THINKS she's an adult ! I love her progression and she's been hitting milestones like rapidfire but I low-key miss the days I could lay her on a blanket and she wouldn't leave it 😅

So glad I'm not alone in the no nap rage 😂 one thing that helps me is always to eat before even trying nap time so if it does drag out I'm not on a sugar low. I respect the no calling for 20 mins to calm down I will need to implement that rule 😊

With small children tasks roll over to the day… all the time. Lol like every day. 😂 For me writing a todo list but knowing it probably won’t get all done just helps mentally. And having lower expectations.

'if you're watching this it means you had a hard day' hahaha you have no idea I would also add, whenever raising my voice or lashing out, I try and take a deep breath asses the situation and then apologize, repairing the relationship for me is so important!

I did have a tough day. I just put my one year old daughter to sleep for the night. Seriously, just, thank you for this. 💕

I’ve never felt so seen & heard woww wow wow

Ugh. I’m currently struggling right now. I’m a SAHM with a 3 year old and a 9 month old. It’s complicated going from one to two kids. And even though my oldest is in preschool, I still find it difficult to get stuff done. So I’m just over here reading all the other mom’s comments and hoping that I’ll be able to get my sh*t together like everyone else. 😂

Yes mama! All of this 🙃im expecting a baby while at home with toddler. I get so triggered when my 2.5 yo skips a nap. My whole day feels scrambled. And I hate that he will be overtired. So what I do is … He sleeps in a floor bed in his room that is childproofed so I just tell him if he doesn’t want to nap, he has to have quiet time in his room with dim lights. He can look at his books or play with his trucks, or listen to music. This way I can rest a bit myself with monitor next to me or get something done. Bracing myself for juggling two kids. I hope that I will naturally be more easy-going, we shall see… 😊 help and support is absolutely key, in whatever form that takes.

This was on time for me. and yes, cars are a lot of work lol Ive said forget the list every day for the last 2 months lol now - I think our expectations of what we can get done are just off, all rooted in control and still unprogramming how we HAVE to spend time and be on schedules. I try to have no expectations of. how naps will go or anything, when I do that it fails miserably lol

the sleep thing is my biggest trigger, like last night for example she woke up like three times in a 2 hours span because she’s teething and i swear in those moments i just explode.. it makes me feel horrible but it’s comforting knowing other moms deal with this too because i feel so guilty for how i treat my daughter or husband in those moments

Thank you - home today with a 5 m/o teething and annoyed he can’t sit upright yet little one feels like such a long day. It’s hard to see any perspective!!!

I’m a mom of a year and a half old boy- he’s WILD most of the day. What I do is different some days… sometimes I let the chaos happen and give myself a sec to lay on the floor. 😅 or I take him to my mom’s house because she lives close by. 🙃😅❤️

I wish I saw this vids when I was a first time mom

OMG!!! You look so much like “Seamingly Sera” in this thumbnail!

7:55 👏👏 YEP!

I’m a KZfaq blogger WAHM with 5 kids- gummy snacks and suckers are the key to survival. Their blood sugar gets low- quick fix. In moderation of course.

I have a 4month old and honestly, the frustration when she doesn't fall asleep is real! What I do when she is tired but not wanting to sleep and I get frustrated: I just leave her on the bed (lucky enough that she's not mobile yet). And I step outside, go sit on the stairs and get my little downtime - until she starts crying and then I know she's bored and ready to sleep :)

My baby is 4 weeks old. It’s really hard to get him to sleep even though I try the 5s technique and other things… I get overwhelmed when he doesn’t sleep for long hours and I am not getting a minute for myself

My triggers: yelling ,it drives me crazy! a minute seems a year. The mess. Solutions EFT tapping meditation, I swear it has saved my sanity. Be proactive, avoid the battles you aren't likely to win. Ask for help, people really want to be there for you and the baby, they just don't know what to do

Whining is a huge trigger for me, so when my baby starts that and I catch myself getting frustrated I just start to sing silly songs and she would usually stop and is entertained by it and it helps me also snap out of my anger/frustration :D win win

My daughter just finished her 4th antibiotic for a very stubborn ear infection, not to mention that she is getting 4 molars in right now. She is struggling to sleep through the night and I’m pregnant in my first trimester and feel like I’m so exhausted that I just can’t even. And I have no shame, I will put on Encanto and let her watch it while I have a quick breakdown. I’m so tired of not being able to make her feel better.

My tired mom-brain can't remember where I picked it up, but someone once said to me that you can't be angry while singing, so when I start to become frustrated due to lack of sleep and my baby is being fuzzy, I just start singing/humming some tune or put on some music to sing and move to.

9 month old is sick for the millionth time since starting daycare. She will not sleep unless it’s on me and I’m beyond exhausted. I will get through this. I will get through this. I WILL get through this.

I crawl into the crib with baby girl, lay on my back and just breathe.

The fact that your 4 month olds hair is longer than my 11 month olds 😂😂 my trick is to leave them in their room to calm down and accept he/she not going to nap (2 year old boy & 11 mo girl) and sometimes they just play together in their room and I can still do the things I need to real fast. If they’re screaming I’ll go get them but as long as they’re ok in their room I just leave them there for their allotted nap time.

Hi Shayla! On the days you work, do both Essie and Aaliyah go to daycare? Do you just work while Essie is napping? Asking bc I have a 6mo and would like to get back into writing my book so I have been toying with the idea of putting him in daycare!

Mom brain is literally a loss of gray matter, studies show it’s real. Explains the serious difficulties

I should be sleeping while baby sleeps 🙄 but I'm watching this instead 😄

And with the TV, it's either never get out the door or 15 minutes of sesame street to make it to story time where he'll get to explore and play with other kids.

I’m babysitting a friends 13 month old all weekend and was on the fence about kids, and now I CANNOT BELIEVE YALL CHOOSE THIS MULTIPLE TIMES 🥴😩 he’s an unhappy kid but y’all Omg this is miserable!!!

Why is this on my recommendations? 😅😒